I want to stop being a nice guy! I want a girlfriend!

Do you want to know how to stop being a nice guy? 

There's nothing wrong with being a good person, but when it comes to dating and relationships, being too nice can actually work against you. In this podcast, I'll share some tips for becoming more assertive and getting the girl of your dreams.

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Episode Transcripts:

Relation-It, relationship advice podcast

for everyone. Follow the relationitpodcast.com

Yo, yo, yo, what is up guys? My name is Jameel. Welcome

back to another relation-it podcast. This

podcast is about and is to help people solve

their relationship problems. Help them become

a better person or just answer simple questions

that you know, you need advice on it. And this

post is gonna be about how to stop being a nice guy.

This guy wants to stop being a nice guy wants

to get a girlfriend. I think the simplest Answer

is, you know, you don't need to stop being nice.

You need to stop being a pushover. But anyways,

guys, he wants to make the change as he sent in this question.

Honestly, I think it is really important to

not be a doormat and to be a guy that's on his purpose.

If you really want a girlfriend. Those are going

to be one of the biggest things that you're going

to need to improve. A lot of guys, nowadays are

just really desperate. They are too busy on

these dating apps. Swiping left and right or

whatever they do. I don't even know. I don't

even have a dating profile. If I do. I have it

on my phone, but I don't use it. I don't go on dating

apps anymore because I find the waste of time.

I think it's important to understand that.

Yes, being a nice guy is not wrong. I think the

problem is that being nice. They guys use being

nice as a strategy to get into a woman's pants

to get validation for others. Instead of, you

know, being genuine about it and being caring.

So they put other people first instead of putting themselves.

First. I was like that too. I thought, you know,

hey Will, I'm nice. Why am I not getting laid?

Well, I mean, I was busy, you know, I was busy

trying to get people to like me. I wasn't putting

myself first and it sucked. I would go on these

dating apps try to get dates with women. Try

to talk to them through these dating apps, which

is a shitty idea. That's horrible. Just because

you're not gonna get any luck on that. I wasn't

really exercising properly. Obviously, I

write regularly exercise, but at the same time

I wasn't I just wasn't focusing on myself. This

is the mistake that holds guys back when they

think that being nice is the only That they have

to bring to the table. First and foremost. Obviously,

you gotta focus on yourself. This is what I preach

in every relation to episode is focused on yourself,

focus on, developing your skills. Your dreams

that you want to build in this life. You only

have one life. You only have one life. It's seriously

important to do that. Like, as for me. I have

one life to be Jamil. Beasley. I have no other

shot after I pass away. Something happens,

I could Die, you know, a minute from the how I

have to focus on what my dream is, whether it's

putting this podcast first, putting my health

first putting myself first. That's why I always

preach exercising. Regularly. You gotta eat

healthy, stop eating, doughnuts and, and Suites

drinking them sodas. And obviously, the biggest

thing, the game changer for me was not being

afraid to talk to women regardless. Of, if I

find them attractive or not, which is, I actually

would watch pro wrestling a lot back in the day

and a lot of those. I think the one of the biggest

things that I've learned from, it was that those

those wrestlers, they were very charismatic

on the, my, how they would talk to the audience,

or I would be watching YouTube videos on those

prank YouTube videos, how they would go up to

random people, on college campuses or Venice

Beach and Frank people. I always wanted to To

do that because II wanted to be funny. I thought

I was a jokester, but it's just be friendly and

charismatic, be friendly to everybody. Go

up to people, introduce yourself. I think the

biggest game-changer for me was working as

a sales person for a company and selling things.

I had a really use my flexibility to talk to people

because I have no choice. I would lose my job.

If I weren't wasn't making the sales, but it developed.

How To how I would talk to people and interact

with people and it was a game-changer for me

it builds up my self-confidence and now I'm

not really afraid to talk to anybody. Not even to women.

I do not a huge luck with talking to women getting

their numbers just because it it really helped

me be more charismatic, you know, you just gotta

try other things and I just think that a lot of

these nice guys, they're just they're doormats.

They lack self-confidence. They're not assertive.

Even when they are on dates, they're not really escalating.

They're not getting to the point of asserting

like of telling the woman through body language

that they are interested in more than just being

friends, you know, they're not hugging the women.

They're not hugging chicks. They're not hugging

their dates or not kissing them. They're waiting

until like date, three to kiss their dates.

No, that's not how you do it. That's how you end

up in the friend zone, when she agrees to be on a day.

Going on a date with you gotta, you gotta make

your I'll be like hey, I really like, hey, I want

to kiss you. Obviously you probably not going

to say that, but you're gonna want to display

it through your action. That was one of the biggest

mistakes I made. When I was younger, was when

I would go on dates. I would be really too scared

shitless to kiss, kiss them hug them because

I thought, like, I would be, you know, obviously

there's there's always gonna be those women

that you're going to have to ask. It's consensual

or what have heard. Most women. Most chicks

are going to be okay with you, you know, hugging

them kissing them. If they are attracted to you.

They will forgive. This is honestly, you need

to just you need to build up your life. You have

one life, one life to make the best out of it.

Go to the gym. The gym is going to build your confidence.

It's gonna build up your self-confidence because

your, when you look good, you're gonna feel good.

Get a haircut, change your style. Stop worrying.

I mean some masturbating to hand side porn or

anime porn or whatever, or porn in general.

It's a waste of time. Start talking to real women,

you know, and I always thought Society made

it difficult for guys to stop being nice, especially

you, you were conditioned to be like, oh well,

women love nice, guys. And that's all you have to have.

All you all you have to be is just nice. No, you

got to be a man on purpose, man. You have dreams

not just getting a girlfriends are going to

just solve your problems. It's gonna definitely,

you know, enhance your life, but, you know,

you gotta, here's the thing. I'm gonna, I'm

gonna give you a list of what I would do to make

that transition easy for you. A number one,

is to make a list of things that are important

to you and don't be afraid to stand up for them.

So, let's just You wanna learn how to play the

guitar, if that's one of the important things

that you want to do in your life and how to play

the guitar find time in the day, learn different languages.

I studied Spanish for over 10 years, people

telling me don't deal with all your black. You're

not going to know why your blog you don't need

to learn Spanish. Oh, you know, your you live

in the United States, it's useless or yeah,

you know, learn Chinese. I've come a long way

of learning Spanish. Getting rejected, getting

people to, you know, say my Spanish is shit,

but you know, I pushed through it and now I'm

not afraid to speak Spanish to anybody because

I'm like, you know, I own it. I own that I can speak

Spanish just like I own that I can start a podcast.

People said that was a bad idea to they're like,

dude, you're not, it's not gonna happen. You're

not going to make a podcast. That's dumb old.

Everybody has relationship podcast. You don't

need to One. I'm doing it because I, I believe in myself.

You need to believe in yourself. Let's just

say something someone talk shit about your ideas.

Don't be afraid to speak up and let your voice be heard.

I'm letting my voice be heard through this podcast,

and this is why I created it because I want to

give people advice. I want to be a positive influence

on people too. And I want to find like-minded,

people who share my values to, and hopefully

connect with them and hopefully this will Resonate with them.

And I think in the number one thing is, you gotta

believe in yourself. Don't be someone that

you're not. This is one of the most important

things believe in yourself. Hey, if you even

want to start a podcast, this is the perfect time.

People want to start podcast but there are two or further.

Like I'm an you know, that it's already been done.

Who cares? If it's already been done. And I know

I've got I'm going off-topic right here. But

this is this is the reason why you need to stop

being a nice guy because Being a nice guy is going

to lead you to a mediocre lifestyle. You're

always going to be the Yes, Man, even if you don't

agree with things are gonna be like, oh, yes.

Well, I guess I'll do that. All right, no stand

up for yourself. I've taken so many bad. I've

said no to so many bad deals in my life. And I'm

glad I did because I would be unhappy with my

decision if I didn't stand up for myself. That's

what makes the difference between A nice guy

and a guy with a purpose and a guy that believes

in himself, a confident guy. That's the biggest thing.

And I think this is the key. This is probably

the silver lining for the relation of podcast to is.

I do not want people to make bad deals for themselves

when let's just say, you know your girlfriend

cheats on you. Don't f****** take her back.

You f****** you'd be a f****** idiot to take her back.

She cheats on you. Don't take her f****** back

or let's just say it happened by chance. It's Versa.

Don't take her back. I mean, don't take him back.

Like I said, you were going to see the theme that

I'm gonna be giving is no bad deal. This is your

life and you deserve dots and make badges for yourself.

I hope that this episode really, you know, makes

it change your life. I know it's kind of like

a little while and I'm calling a hug but and this

is going to be unedited. I'm not going to edit

this at all. Just gonna probably blow all the

Voices and stuff like that, but I really just

want people to have goals for themselves. Have

One Life to Live, why waste it on, you know, trying

to be something that you're not trying to fit into society.

You got to just take time for yourself and make

make yourself happy. All right guys, this is

it for the relation to the episode of how to stop

being nice. I want a girlfriend. Obviously

first and foremost. You just got it. Stop being

a f****** pushover and doormat but was on yourself,

start hitting the gym. And eating healthy focusing

on your goals, all of a sudden. If you do that,

those things, you're gonna get angry. You're

gonna get multiple. Girlfriends are gonna

be drowning and pussy. But anyways, guys. Hope

you liked this episode. It's going to be out

on all the podcasts websites that has podcasts, youtube.

Don't forget to follow me on Instagram, YouTube

want to share this podcast out, to people share

it out to people. And y'all have a wonderful day.

Peace out.

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