The Simple Principle That Could Save Your Marriage

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If your marriage is falling apart, you’re paying a high price—and it’s called the Pain Tax.
In just minutes, Dr. Joe Beam will show you the simple Push-Pull Principle that can stop the hurt, break the cycle, and start drawing your spouse back toward you.

This isn’t theory—it’s the same principle that’s helped thousands of couples around the world turn their marriages around. Whether it’s infidelity, addiction, disconnection, or constant fighting, this could be the turning point you’ve been praying for.

If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Have you heard of the pain tax?
Yeah, that's right.
Pain, hurting, sometimes misery, even deep into your soul.
It's a tax that people pay whenthey're in a situation where
they need to do something.
But they're either doing thewrong thing, pay the tax, more
pain, or they don't do anythingat all, maybe because they don't
know what to do or don't knowhow to do it.

(00:22):
You may be in that pain rightnow and that's the tax you're
paying because you don't knowwhat to do or how to do, or
you've been doing the wrongthing, because you've been
listening to the wrong peoplePeople who love you, people who
care about you, who are goodpeople and mean well, but they
don't really understand, andbecause of the fact that you're
hurt, they're hurt and thereforetheir advice is highly biased.

(00:51):
Hi, I'm Dr Joe Bean, withMarriage Helper.
We want to help you, but let meteach you a principle right now
that can start reducing thepain tax if you're in a
situation, in a relationship,such as a marriage, where that
you're hurting because of whatyour spouse is doing or what's
happening within your marriage,or maybe even because of what
you're doing.
You see, there's a basicprinciple we teach and, if ever
you come to our website, go toour YouTube channel, come to one

(01:11):
of our workshops, go to one ofour courses, you're going to
hear this principle because itunderlies everything else.
Oh, I can teach it to you in acouple of minutes.
Unfortunately, that doesn'tmean that you're really going to
grasp it or that you willreally know how to apply it,
because there are so manydifferent ways that you need to
understand and apply it.
But I can definitely give youthe principle.
We call it push, pull.

(01:33):
Now, listen, it sounds sosimple.
You'll think I already knewthat, but what we have
discovered with thousands andthousands of couples that we
work with is, while theyunderstand it almost immediately
, when they hear it, they reallydon't understand it, because if
they did, they'd be applying it.
A push is anything you do andit can even be something that

(01:54):
you don't do that evokes anegative emotion in the other
person.
So, for example, if you callyour spouse bad names, if you
yell, you scream, you have angerfits, all those kinds of things
or if you're having an affairthere can be so many different
ways that you can have a push inthat what you're doing is
evoking a negative emotion,everything from the way you
communicate, to the lifestyleyou're living, to the vows that

(02:17):
you're violating.
And if you heard what I said amoment ago, it can also be what
you don't do, like here's amarriage that's a no-sex
marriage and the other spouse issaying but I want sexual
fulfillment, I want to make loveto you, and that doesn't happen
.
So anything that you do or, insome cases, what you don't do
that evoke negative emotions.
And then if you've been tryingto save your marriage, for

(02:40):
example, part of your pain tax,part of the pain that you're
experiencing is because you'rein action when it comes to
understanding that there's somethings you have to stop, because
if you keep doing those thingswhining, begging, pleading,
doing everything you can tomanipulate the other person, to
straighten up, trying to makethem feel guilty, all kinds of

(03:01):
things like that, calling in alltheir friends to try to
straighten them out the morenegative emotions you evoke, the
worse it's going to be.
Now, the other side of that iscalled pull, and pull is when
you do something and on occasionit's going to be something that
you don't do that evokespositive emotions within the
other person.
So, for example, instead ofyelling at you, I actually am

(03:25):
calm, just the fact that I'm notyelling at you can be a pull.
It can evoke a positive emotion, but more often they're done
when I pay attention to you, ifI truly try to listen to you,
truly try to understand you andand this is a hard one when I
accept what you think, feel,believe, even when I'm against

(03:46):
it totally.
Oh no, I'm not going to endorseit, I am not going to encourage
it, but I can accept the factthat that's what you feel.
We call that acknowledgingreality.
Now, believe it or not, thosethings I just taught you what
two or three minutes, if you usethem properly, we'll turn a
relationship around, sometimesimmediately, sometimes over time

(04:08):
, but you have to apply them inthe way they need to be applied.
Sometimes you need somebody tohelp you understand that what
you're doing, although you don'tthink it's a push, is a push
Because, you see, it's not youwho gets to determine whether
it's a push or a pull.
It's the person that's beingaffected.
That's who gets to determine ifit's a push or a pull.
And sometimes, if they're notwilling to tell you because

(04:30):
they're angry at you or they'reunder lifestyles right now that
you cannot condone the lifestyle, a professional can help you
understand.
And you're saying but if myspouse is having an affair with
somebody else, just stoppingpushes and starting pulls can
change things.
Yes, if my spouse is addicted tosomething like gambling or
drugs or alcohol, yes, now, it'snot a miracle cure, but it is

(04:54):
the basis for the miracle, inthe sense that if you really
want to change a relationship,you don't try to change the
other person.
You change you and the thingthat you're going to change
again much broader than I canexplain here in a couple of
minutes, but the thing you'regoing to change has to do with
stopping pushes and startingpulls.
Now if you're wondering how doI do that and is it as powerful

(05:16):
as you say it is?
Well, we have a lot oftestimonials from people all
around the world.
We work with thousands ofcouples every year who tell us
yes, it really does work.
Again, it's not magic.
It doesn't make the otherperson do something they don't
want to do, but it changes theentire relationship in such a
way that the other person stopsmoving away from you and can,

(05:39):
and almost always will, startmoving toward you.
But every situation's a littlebit different.
That's why, if you click thelink at the bottom, you can
learn how to contact one of ourintake specialists.
Now, they're not counselors,they're not therapists.
These are people who willlisten to your story and
understand how we can help youspecifically in your situation

(06:01):
because all situations aredifferent and then they can
guide you to the service that weoffer that can help you most.
And if we don't have thatservice, to be honest enough to
tell you that so are you goingto keep paying the pain tax,
hurting, when you don't need tohurt anymore, where you can find

(06:22):
healing, At the very least healyour heart but hopefully, at
the same time, heal yourrelationship?
Then what are you waiting for?
Do you really want to keephurting Really?
It's just a call and it's free.
We'll help you.
Please contact us today.