December 20, 2023 • 55 mins
Ever wondered how the allure of high-status dating might shape your understanding of love? Join Chanel Scott, Josh Powell, and the effervescent Crystal Renee Hayslett as we traverse the shifting sands of personal boundaries and expectations in relationships over the decades. Our heart-to-heart reveals the personal evolution from the freedom-fueled dating scenes of our 20s to a more introspective journey in our 30s and 40s, uncovering how past heartaches inform our search for genuine connections in the present.
Navigating the limelight brings its own set of challenges, and we don't shy away from the gritty details. Privacy, trust, and fame form a complex triangle that Crystal, with her insider perspective, helps us unpack. We share behind-the-scenes insights on maintaining discretion in the public eye, navigating on-screen intimacy with grace, and the importance of a supportive circle of friends. It's a candid discussion about the intricate dance of personal and professional relationships within the glare of public scrutiny.
This episode isn't just about looking outward; it's a profound inward journey as well. We expose the transformative power of setting boundaries, embracing vulnerability, and healing from past pains. The compelling origin story of Crystal's "Keep It Positive, Sweetie" podcast anchors our conversation, illustrating the beauty of fostering safe spaces for personal reflection and growth. Join us in this deeply personal dialogue as we uncover the steps toward self-acceptance, the art of navigating life's intricacies with grace, and the inspiring process of creating communities that champion love, healing, and growth.
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Opposing experiences, a single woman and a married man, Chanel Scott, and Josh Powell, create a powerful and empathetic team, offering valuable insights and advice on navigating the complexities of romantic relationships and promoting healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Join Chanel and Josh as they unlock the secrets of successful relationships one conversation at a time.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'm Chanel Scott, the queen of relationship talk.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I'm Josh Powell, two-time NBA champion.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I've journeyed from trauma to healing.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
From the NBA to family, I've learned what really
matters.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We've come together to unlock the secrets of
successful relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
One conversation at a time.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
One conversation at a time.
Welcome to Relationships.
Man of the Podcast.
I am Chanel Scott.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
And I am Josh Powell.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And we have an amazing episode for you guys.
We have a very special guest,my special guest.
I'm going to take ownership ofthat, even though I had nothing
to do with it.
But we have Miss Crystal ReneeHazlett.
Welcome to Relationships Matter.
Thank you, thank you both, forhaving me.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Of course, this is like one of those bucket list
items for me, so you got toexcuse me.
Just look past me.
I'm going to have some fun.
I'm excited to be here.
We are about to have some fun.
So this episode was inspired byyour episode of dating in your
40s, right?
Is that the proper title?
That is yes, that is it.
But what I wanted.
I wanted to do a little spin onthat, right, because you talked
about dating in your 40s andwhat that experience was like.
(01:11):
But then we've dated in our 30s, we've dated in our 20s, and I
want to talk about thedifferences, like in terms of
boundaries.
What types of boundaries haveyou loosened up on?
What types of boundaries haveyou put in place from the age of
20 to now 40?
So let's talk about your 20s.
(01:32):
Oof Over against what we'redoing today.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
What was different when you were in your 20s?
Speaker 3 (01:42):
In my 20s I was still searching for who Crystal was.
You know, I'm from a small townand then I moved to DC yes, big
city.
So much more to do, a lot moredistractions, and I think in
that time I was a little moreloose, you know, because I was.
It's almost like letting me outthe cage, like finally I'm free
(02:02):
, you know, like mom and dad areway, far, far away and I can
have fun.
It was so much to do in DC.
I wasn't as guarded as I am now.
Ok, I've always been a woman offaith, raised in the church, so
they always say a child, evenwhen I was like the prodigal
daughter like you're going to goaway, but you always come back
(02:25):
to what your parents instilledin you.
And I hit a wall in DC and I waslike I got to find a church
home.
Like I was just going to work,going to work, going to clubs,
like just hanging with all thewrong people.
And I found a church home andactually the daughter of the
pastor of the church that I wentto.
We're still a really goodfriends to this day.
But that was the moment where Irealized I need to make some
(02:48):
changes.
You know, just heartbreak afterheartbreak and just wondering,
like why does this keephappening to me?
I was attracting the same typeof guy every single time, and
that started in college.
Like I was attracting the sametype of guy from college through
my 20s.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
What was that decision based on?
I'm sorry, I just because youwere talking about attracting
the same type of guy.
So what was that, you know,decision based on?
What were the qualities thatthese young men were having?
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Well, I dated my first millionaire in college.
So it was like when you'reexposed to that at such a very
young, vulnerable age, you'reconstantly chasing that you know
what I'm saying Somebody thatcan provide, somebody that can
take you on trips and buy youall these lavish gifts.
And then you start to thinklike this is what love is, this
is what relationships aresupposed to be like.
(03:38):
If you can't do this for me,then I want that like I need
this, and I continue to attractthat.
I continue to attract the guywho had all the money but wasn't
faithful, you know.
And you get to a point whereyou feel like and I think I mean
I can't speak for all women,but I feel like we've all been
in a position where we allowcertain things to happen as long
(04:00):
as the man did what we wanted,as long as you get me what I
want.
But that's a very immaturemindset and I can definitely say
I was like super immature atthat age.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I can identify with your story in the sense of,
first of all, six foot one.
In high school I was awkward.
But when I went to college, mylife changed overnight.
Right, and because I'm six footone, I'm attracting the
athletes.
And I got my heart broke by myfirst athlete.
He was a college ball player,but my mindset was I'm going to
(04:29):
get better than you.
So then I started on this pathof I'm going to do a
professional athlete and that'swhat it's going to be.
And if it's not that, then I'mnot going to do it and I need to
get better than you.
And I need to get better thanyou, and you better than you.
You want to top the next, youwant to top the next, right.
So, just going through thatpattern and not faithful, but in
my mind it was like you know,it became the norm for me.
(04:53):
You know what I'm saying?
Until I had to, like, take alook, going into the thirties
and saying, okay, do you want tostill continue to go down this
path?
Do you still want this to belike your journey?
Do you still want to continueto be treated in this way?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Yes, yeah.
So saying yeah, 30 is somethingsweet.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Yeah, Something switched so in your thirties.
What was different?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
in my thirties, I had a sense of self identity.
You know, I had moved toAtlanta when I was 26.
And I started finding mypurpose.
I, at that point, I knew what Iwanted, or you know what I'm
saying.
It changes, you know.
I think a lot of people feellike what you, whatever you said
in your mind in that moment, iswhat you're going to want
(05:36):
forever.
We're constantly evolving.
So what I was attracted to at30, I'm not attracted to.
I'm attracted to my forties.
You know, and I think it'simportant to allow yourself to
grow, give each version ofyourself grace.
You know, because sometimes wecan be so hard on ourselves for
where we are in the present, notknowing that we're just
learning as we go.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So I thought about something, as you said, like
from thirties going into forties, but what did you bring from
your twenties into your thirties?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Oh, what did I bring from my twenties?
At that point, I think Ibrought in.
Well, I left a lot of things inmy twenties as far as being
more intentional about myfriends and my circle.
I was more intentional about whoI let in my space.
I became more guarded than Iwas in my twenties.
(06:25):
I was such a free spirit and Istill am to an extent but I'm so
much more guarded than I was inmy twenties.
I brought back my foundationwith God.
I made sure that was in theforefront in my thirties and
forward and in life.
There was moments where I mayhave not been going to church
(06:46):
every Sunday, or you know whatI'm saying, the things that we
practice now when we're superintentional about that walk, but
that was always at theforefront.
What else did I bring into mythirties?
I brought more knowledge.
You know knowledge from everyexperience.
I try to take everything andlearn from it, because a lot of
times we can go through thingsand in my 20s I was constantly
(07:08):
repeating the cycle, notlearning the lesson, just
thinking, okay, this, this, thisis going to be different.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, no, it's this you're doing the same thing.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
It's not going to change.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
What experiences did you have that made you so
guarded?
Like what was it?
You know, because you said Iwas a free spirit and so I
became more guarded.
Did something happen?
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Yeah, I dated a very hot still to this day I'm not
going to give you the name, butI mean it's public but top five
in the league NBA player stillto this day he is and people
completely missed.
I've never been in the lightlike that.
You know, like I've always beenlike just the girl.
(07:48):
I was working on my own things.
I was still working on music,working on being an actor, and
to see like how the Blas canliterally tear you down and not
know who you are or not evenlike know the truth about the
subject matter.
They're just like making upstuff.
And I was like dang, like I knewthen and that was the moment I
unfollowed all the blog sitesbecause I was on the receiving
(08:09):
end of it.
There was a point in my lifewhere I'd wake up every morning
see what was going on media.
There was like media takeoutand all those sites around.
I'm like what are they talkingabout today?
And me and my girls would talklike girl, you saw what just
happened.
When you wake up and you're inthe headlines and it's like that
is not even true.
It's the most hurtful thing.
And I think in that moment Ibegan to guard my relationships
(08:32):
like closer, and that's when Icame up with you know what I'm
going to nurture and take in.
Keep things private versus justletting everybody know what I'm
doing.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Outside of keeping things private.
What are some things that youlearned in that process, because
I think that's important towrite.
You may not live the type oflife that you live, but any type
of public embarrassment or yourbusiness the narrative being
told without anybody asking ofyour part of the story.
(09:06):
So I think this can help a lotof people.
But for you, what were some ofthe things that you had to
overcome?
Or maybe it was some peoplethat you was like, oh, that's
what you're all on, or whatever.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Because the crazy thing is, when you read those
things and some of the stuff,you're like, wait a minute, this
is like two, like certainthings.
You're like I know I sharedthis with a personal friend and
you're like you'd like somebody,like somebody somewhere went
back and said what I said andcompletely twisted it.
So it was like I rememberhaving this conversation.
(09:40):
But there's things that mayhappen in a relationship.
Say me and your relationship,and you're my best friend.
I may be like, girl, this iswhat we went through or this is
what we did today, and it mayhave been something that you
were doing with a big brand thatwas top secret.
But I'm just telling my friend,oh yeah, we had this big Nike
shoot.
And then it turns out that, ohyeah, she was running around
telling everybody about thisNike shoot.
There was a big.
(10:00):
You know what I'm saying?
I'm talking about things thatcould have cost this person
millions of dollars, and itwasn't even my no malicious
intentions I would y'all dotoday.
Oh girl, we had this big Nikeshoot.
And then it turns into a wholestory and I'm like that's not.
And then you're looking at mecrazy, like why'd you?
I was like, no, I was justtelling my friend what happened,
(10:21):
like not to be put in the blogs.
And then you start looking ateverybody around you crazy Like
who's you know what I'm sayingLeaking this stuff, and then you
stopped trusting people.
So for me, that was one thingthat I took from it is to hold
things close to your chest andtalk to people that you know
like can't by law, can't tellyour business, you know, until
(10:45):
you know, if it comes out, youknow who it was.
Because I was just thinkingeverybody's happy for me and
everybody's not happy for you.
They want to be where you are.
They want to be with the personyou're with and learn.
That's another thing I learned.
Everybody's not happy for you.
I learned that you have to alsobe careful of how people are
(11:09):
connected to them, treat youbecause it's all good and then
until they realize, oh, hereally likes this girl then,
everybody's like.
I don't like her no more.
So you got to, yeah.
So there was a lot of thosethings and everybody's thinking,
oh, you're a gold digger,you're this and this, and that.
It's crazy because everythingI'm doing now is what I was
(11:30):
pursuing then, like I was nevertrying to live off of anybody, I
was always a go getter tryingto get my own.
And now he's like dang, I'm sopretty Like you really did it.
I was always trying to do it,and then it happened, but people
put all these labels on you forwhatever reason, and it's like
I'm not that person.
It's really hurtful because Idon't have like a vicious bone
(11:52):
in my body and then for peopleto like put these labels on you
was like a very hurtful spaceand really just kind of started
staying to myself after that.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Even as I listened to you tell your story, I can hear
the preparation for what I see,as far as TV I see, but I hear
it then Right, and I thoughtabout that, like when he asked
that question, I was like I wasin preparation for it.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah, I heard that.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
So, with everything that you experienced, how do you
even do you have new friends oryou just stick with your day
ones?
How does that go?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
We're going to let her answer that that's good,
we'll get back Relationshipsmatter to podcasts Welcome back
to relationships matter.
The podcast.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
So we have miss crystal haslet and you guys know
her from the team and sisters,so I want to get back into my
questions.
So my first question I wasasking is how do you choose
friends today, or do you juststick with day ones?
What does that process looklike?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
You know what?
I have some amazing girlfriends.
I really do.
I have some day ones and I havewomen that I've met along the
way and right now I feel likethis is the safest group of
women.
We are all like minded Shoutout Pastor Darius Daniels.
He always says find soberminded friends and friends that
(13:22):
are going to get on the floorwith you Like it's your worst
moments.
And I can honestly say thatevery person, even my male
friends, everyone that's aroundme, I genuinely feel like
they're like here for me for theright reasons, because as you
continue to climb and your starcontinues to ascend, you do have
to be very careful about thepeople that you let around you.
You know, because everybody'snot doesn't have your best
(13:45):
interest at heart, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I noticed one of your friends.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Keanu Watson, she did .
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I have another show that was on Fox, so did
relationship talk and she andher husband was on my show and I
know she's a good friend ofyours.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
I just talked to her the other day.
I love Keanu Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So I want to pivot this conversation.
So before I knew of Sisters ofTeam, I was very familiar with
DeVal and Kadeem and I watchedthem.
They were social mediainfluencers before he was ever
on the show.
And so when I first watched theshow before I grew to be like
this big fan of yours.
I was like, how is that working?
Like I'm having a hard timedeciphering the difference.
(14:23):
I know that he is very you knowpublic with his relationship
and we got to know them onsocial media as a couple.
And then to see the show theshow was very intimate, yes,
Right, yeah.
How do you guys balance that?
And then I even look at some ofthe comments on his post.
Not so much now.
Yeah, They've calmed down a lot.
(14:45):
Yeah, it was bad, but beforepeople was like you, cheating on
your life man.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Yeah, how do you guys balance that?
I remember the first time I hada kissing scene with DeVal.
And it was like right when Tylerhad written our characters
together and I remember evenreading the script, I was like
why did he put me in Zachtogether?
Like it didn't.
Like it's so good though, yeah,it totally makes sense now, but
(15:10):
I didn't get it.
I was like you could have wrotesome fine Darcy, yeah, you know
I'm thinking of like whatcrystal won't.
I was like, okay, whatever.
So we started working together.
Covid hit quarantine, happened.
All the shows come to a halt.
We're in quarantine.
(15:31):
So he was still living inCalifornia.
We're FaceTiming, starting torun lines.
Because this is like my firstbig gig.
So I'm like I want to they callme Crystal Renee run it hazelit
, because as an actor, do youwant to run lines, which is
rehearsing?
So, like Crystal always wantsto run it.
You want to run it, you want torun it.
So we were running lines justtrying to get our chemistry
(15:53):
together and then we finally getthe call.
Hey, we're going to.
Tyler created this bubble for ashout out TP.
We were the first studio tocome back to work during the
quarantine because he built abubble where we had to stay on
campus.
Like super grateful for that,because so many people were
struggling during that time andhe gave us an outlet to be
creative and to continue to makea living.
(16:15):
But we had a kissing scene andyou would have thought I was on
the playground as a fifth graderkissing my first little crush
and like I was literally like Iwas 30, some years old, Like
I've definitely kissed peoplebefore, but it was something
about kissing the married manthat I just could not like.
(16:35):
Separate Zach, the character,and DeVal, kadeen's husband.
So he calls Kadeen and he'stold this story before.
He's like can you please tellthis girl it's okay to kiss me
and she's like girl, you betterkiss him.
We need these checks to clearand you know I after that I was
like all right, it was stillweird.
(16:56):
It got easier over time becauseI had to learn how to stop
judging the character, as ifCrystal is the one kissing a
married man.
It's not Crystal.
This is Fatima and Zach, notCrystal and DeVal.
And once I was able to let thatgo and even stop judging her,
because a lot of actors have thetendency to put themselves in
the position of the character.
You're like that's, youwouldn't do that, but that's
(17:18):
okay.
Somebody out here is livingthis life, just play the
character.
And from that from me gettingcomfortable and not judging the
character comes so much judgmentfrom our audience and fans of
DeVal and Kadeen separately, youknow, because they had an
amazing fan base before DeVal,like you said, before he even
(17:40):
came on the show, and because wedo our job very well.
People like this is a littletoo real.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, like it is, yeah, no, like literally, like
it's uncomfortable sometimes forpeople to watch.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
But because we tapped into that and decided, hey, I'm
going to play this as if youare the person I'm really in
love with, because that's whatthe part we're playing, it
became very believable forpeople, even to the point where
Tyler was like I like this.
And then we got our own show.
You know what I'm saying.
If I had a half ass that roleor had not committed to it, I
(18:16):
wouldn't have my own show, youknow.
So it was really hard becausepeople were saying things based
off of my work you know what I'msaying and saying like, dang, I
really believe y'all like hatsoff to y'all for really like
committing to that part.
It was like, nah, like they wereliterally pouring their own
insecurities on a character.
But then it started to likecome at me in my own personal
(18:40):
integrity and character, youknow, and it was super hurtful
and DeVal and I talked about itand he was like I'm gonna like,
cause he would like DeVal, he'sjust has a big heart, he wants
to just shine light on everybodyand he was like I'm gonna like,
pull back on, like posting youand stuff, because you're always
(19:00):
gonna get the grunting of thisstick.
He was like nobody's gonna comeat Kadeen.
You know what I'm saying?
It's always gonna be about you.
He said nobody's gonna come atme and he was like because they
cannot get past, that's not yourwife.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
We went to New York.
Why is?
But why is society like that,Even in a real life situation,
right?
Why does the woman get the runinto the stick.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I don't know what that's about.
It's always, you know, I don'tknow, I don't understand, and we
are like the most fragile, likewe're so strong but like on the
inside, we're the ones that aresupposed to be protected and I
feel like most of the time we'renot and we have to deal with
those things on our own, like inour own time, isolated, where,
when nobody sees it, you know,and I would see those comments
(19:46):
at home, like sitting at home,and I'm like that's not who I am
.
Like this is my job Right.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Now what?
Are you in a relate?
I'm sorry, josh, you know, wereyou in a relationship?
I was gonna ask you, how doesthat?
And then I'm gonna pivot, I'mgonna let you.
Then I'm gonna let you, I'mgonna let you finish, you're
gonna let you finish, but likein a relationship, like where
have you been in a relationshipwhile you've had this show and,
if so, how does it impact?
Like your real liferelationship.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Yeah, you know, for the majority of me shooting
sisters and the team, I have notbeen in a relationship.
I just recently had one thisyear and he was very secure in
himself, you know, and hewouldn't watch those scenes, you
know, but he was like verysupportive of my career and
(20:36):
understood that's your job.
You know what I'm saying.
Like he wasn't insecure aboutthat at all.
But I will say that I wassingle for a long time because a
lot of men couldn't handle that.
They like I don't wanna see youon camera kissing another man.
I don't care if it is fake, Idon't care if, like, you're
having sex and you're causepeople don't understand.
Like it was to a point where Iwas like if I do date somebody,
(20:57):
I'm gonna.
I had to bring them to set sothey can actually see.
Oh okay, like I have a wholeyoga mat cut out in the shape of
a pad.
You know what a maxi pad lookslike.
I literally have a yoga mat cutout in the shape of that in
between my legs, so there's nosimulation at all.
And then he has a sock on andhe's completely taped down Like
(21:18):
he can't even if, like, his mindwent there.
He can't even like there's nophysical way that it can even
come up.
So like, and then I'm not on topof him you know what I'm saying
.
Like I may be on his stomach oron his thighs, but we're never
crossing that line and we haveintimacy coordinators that are
making sure like nothing'stouching.
Cause I'm very big on that.
I don't want, I don't care whoit is.
(21:39):
Like, I want to make sure that,like I'm protected, they're
protected because men can likethere's women that on set that
may take advantage of a man andthere's men that may take
advantage of a woman.
And you're in the act of actingand you feel something like
wait a minute now.
Like this is not what we'redoing.
You know, that can be veryuncomfortable.
So I'm just grateful that whenwe have intimacy coordinators
(22:01):
that protect us but we like putthere's so many different like
things that people don't see.
But the way that camera angleis just like wait a minute,
they're really doing it.
And like I remember the firsttime I had to like give head on
TV and Tyler was like call me,he's like Josh is like what I
(22:23):
had to give him on TV and I waslike I mean, don't make it look
like.
I said, am I going like underthe covers or something, cause I
don't want to.
You see my head.
Just you know he was like he'slike Chris, you know, I got you,
I'm not about to have youlooking crazy.
I said okay, so I didn't knowthat here's a little TV secret.
When we had to go, every sixthing that we have on the script
(22:45):
, we have a meeting with ourintimacy coordinator to
choreograph it.
So she was like so she's like,this is what you do when you
give him head on TV.
And I was like what she said?
You just do the alphabet withyour head.
So you let it go.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Ah, okay, oh, okay, in the direction.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
It makes it look like from the but you're not doing
anything.
Like you're like.
Yeah, you're like, this farfrom the person, like you're not
even touching them.
Okay, yeah, it's like, but it'sall at angles and the way they
capture it.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
How they capture it, Like it's nothing sexy about it.
I think that was my firstepisode that I've seen.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
It was a team when he did it.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I was like did he do it?
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Yeah, no, like he was .
No, he was like here.
He was nowhere near here.
It was crazy.
That was a very uncomfortablescene For me.
I was like Tyler, you bettershoot this right.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Josh what.
The floor is yours, sir ABCs.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
We're going to have more and when we come back,
relationships matter to podcast.
We'll see y'all in a minute.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
I need a break.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Welcome back to relationships matter, the
podcast.
So before we went to break mypartner over here, he had some
questions for Ms Crystal.
Sir, the floor is yours.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Well, because I know y'all going to get back into it.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I know, because I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
I just I love Crystal , but I think something is good
for the viewers right, just froma healing standpoint.
Can you speak on positiveprivacy in regards to your life?
That is so that is such a greatquestion, josh, because you
talked about how you wentthrough all of these different
things and you had to.
(24:37):
You know, I don't want to saylearn the hard way, because it's
just some things just happened.
And there was innocence, youknow, on your part, or maybe it
was innocence on somebody else'spart, who knows?
But I think it's important toshare with people how to
navigate in that space, not justwith your personal, but even
with friends or family.
Like, what does that look likebased off of the things that
(24:58):
you've been able to learn?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah, it's funny you asking that because the last
relationship I was in.
I've been practicing privacy inmy relationships since that
situation, and that was in 2000.
2010?
Yeah, 2010, through like 2015.
That's when I was reallylearning what privacy really was
(25:20):
in relationships and how tolook, because we live in such a
let's take pictures and put iton Instagram type of world where
I was like I'm not doing thatuntil I have a husband.
And I remember the guy wasdating and he was like I mean,
why are we taking pictures?
Like it's not you gonna post it?
And I was like so it let meknow that that was deep down the
(25:41):
side of his issue.
You know, even though you talkto your partner and say, hey,
this is how I feel aboutrelationships, I want to protect
this.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
That's unfortunate.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Yeah, I want to protect it and keep it safe,
because once people think theycan, they can take outside
judgment until it startshappening.
And then you start secondguessing everything, which you
in most times is not even true,like you know what you have in
the relationship with the person, but you allow these outside
thoughts and voices to come intoyour relationship and then it
(26:09):
ruins things.
And, like you said, I mean, Idid have to learn that the hard
way and even with like familyfriends, people asked me like
they said oh, I didn't know youeven had a brother and two
sisters.
I protect my family too, youknow, and it's like I'm not
hiding them you know, but theydidn't sign up for this.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Right.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
You know what I'm saying.
They didn't sign up for my life.
They didn't sign up foreverything to be in the public
eye.
And because I do give so muchand I love my fans and I want
them to feel the love that theygive me back, even though I
can't like physically talk toevery one of them individually,
I try to make sure that I've letthem all know that I appreciate
them and give as much as I canwithout giving my whole life,
(26:52):
because you feel like you'rejust, like I have nothing to
myself.
You know, so you have to pickand choose.
All right, these are myboundaries.
We talked about boundaries.
These are my boundaries.
Like this is where I draw theline my relationships, my family
and I'll share certain things.
I'm just not going to plasterthem all over the place, you
know, but some some people kindof take even friends will talk
if you don't post them or tagthem.
(27:13):
They take it as not supporting.
You know, when lots of timeyou're not even thinking about
it, like I have a million thingson my mind.
I've got calls and managerslike you got to do this and need
this deadlines.
You know that I'm trying.
I'm one person trying to do allthis stuff, but everybody's
living in a what about me?
World.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Let me ask you this Is there a difference between
being private and secret?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Absolutely.
It's a big difference and Itell you all the time like I'm
not hiding anything.
If you see me on public, likeif I was hiding I wouldn't go
nowhere, you know like I'd betrying to like duck and dodge
everybody.
But I go out, people see me out.
I'm not trying to hide it, Ishow affection, like I'm not
like the whole my hand.
We go in here, you go in thisdoor, I'm going to go out this
door.
(27:55):
Like that's secrecy, you know,to a whole another extent.
Or like not telling people thatyou're in a relationship.
I feel like that's being secret.
You can say, yes, I'm in arelationship, but they don't
have to know who it is.
You know.
Like that's just how I feel.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
But even if you do get married, does that mean that
you'll be a little bit moreopen, or will you still hold?
You know what I mean, because,for example, Charlemagne right,
this man will post every otherwoman but his wife.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I wouldn't know if I saw her walking down the street.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
But on the flip side, you know, he talks about his
wife all the time and even withhis kids, like it's just.
I think everybody to get thisperspective is just super
important, because some peoplewill be very judgmental and
they're like, well, you ain'tposting that, it must mean you
don't love her because orwhatever.
But I've seen it where.
I've seen people post and I'mlike bro, I know how you moving.
(28:53):
That's crazy Some people postfor the disclaimer, but I'm
gonna shut up.
Oh, that was good, Uh-uh Josh.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
That was good.
I was gonna get your take.
That was good, I was gonna getyour take, I was gonna take your
take.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
I was gonna take your take and he was like what are
your thoughts?
Yeah, but if I do get married,that doesn't mean I'm gonna like
immediately just start likeplastering.
I like the way Issa Rae did it,Like you didn't even know she
was in a relationship until shewas like in a wedding dress,
Like I'm married.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
I didn't know she was married.
Yes, yeah, by me, okay.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
And another example that I love.
I love how Carrie Washington isLike she does not post anything
about, but we know who she'smarried to.
Like we see them, when we seethem, but it's like and they're
both okay with that, you know.
But you have to find somebodythat's okay with that and hear
for the right reasons, becausesometimes I feel like when
people are worried about that,it makes me especially in the
(29:48):
position I'm in.
It makes me look like what areyou really here for?
Are you trying to hit for?
cloud, Like you know, like, youstart to look at the person
sideways because are you?
What's on my Instagram Like?
So we saw my Facebook Like.
Seriously, you know, and I'vebeen that girl where I'm like
why we can't like.
But now that I'm in a differentposition in my life and matured
and understand the importanceof sacredness and protecting
(30:12):
your people that you love,that's a part of it, because we
live in a vicious world and it'sa lot of Twitter and Facebook
and Instagram gangsters out herethat just hide behind a
computer and talk shit aboutpeople all day.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
So you're 40s?
Yes, we are in our 40s, so whatis your love here?
Okay, what is the difference inyour 40s that you didn't
experience?
What difference is that youdidn't experience in your 30s?
Speaker 3 (30:41):
Oh child, I can't stay up, can't stay up, I'll be
tired.
No, like, seriously, I couldnot hang like I used to.
Like I went out the other nightstrike is over now and we were
out to like two in the morningcelebrating and I'm still
struggling.
That was two days ago.
So that was like the immediateshift.
I was like oh wow.
But I remember I had this hugebirthday party that I threw
(31:04):
myself and everybody was likeChristy, you just married
yourself.
This was like a wedding.
And I was like, no, I just wanteverybody to have fun.
And it was just an amazingnight.
And but I woke up the nextmorning and it was an immediate
shift in my mind.
In my 30s, I remember, justallowing, I had this one guy in
particular that I dated andbecause it was easy, you know,
(31:28):
like he had a situation andwasn't married, but he had like
a high school sweetheart thatwasn't going anywhere, but I
could see when I wanted to getwhat I wanted and I was like,
okay, this is easy because I'mbusy, my career's taken off,
like I don't need to be tieddown.
So it worked.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
What was it that you wanted?
What was it that you wanted?
Freedom, okay.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Freedom and what I needed, what I needed, it Okay.
And you said something Okay.
But I had to realize, you know,sometimes I think also because
I wasn't getting what I wantedlike I'm a hopeless romantic at
heart and because I wasn'tgetting what I wanted, I started
to settle for what I'm likeOkay, this is okay.
(32:08):
And I can attest to being thetype of woman that started to
make myself believe that I wasokay with being by myself.
You know what I'm saying.
Because it wasn't coming, Iwould literally say it's okay,
I'll be like Oprah, I'm justgoing to get this money and find
me a statement and we going tobe good, or I just won't have
(32:28):
any children, I'll be okay, LikeI'm fine.
And that was me trying to likepsych myself out to be okay with
the circumstances and not beinglike All right, God, if this is
what you have for me, God, youknow what I really want.
I'm going to allow you to bringthis to me.
I started to literally likecontrol my mind and say I don't
want these things.
Okay, I'm cool with this guy.
You understand I'm doing whathe another kept checking them
(32:53):
ball players.
He was a ball player and look at.
God, look, I have been delivered.
Thank you, jesus, I've beendelivered.
But um, and it's funny, onpaper he was everything you know
, like vegan, had his moneyright, business and affairs in
order, no, kids, just had a dog.
You know it was like, oh, thisis great Beautiful home on the
(33:15):
South side, out the way, andlike even him like wasn't hiding
me, like we would have dates inthe city, like it wasn't like
and she just knew what it was,you know, never wanted to get
married and I was like All right, and I'm in my mind like I
don't know if I want to getmarried either.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
And.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
I was also thinking deep down inside I can make him
leave her like he ain'tcommitted to her yet, so like
she's just thank you, yes, thankyou delivered.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Thank you, because that's a real fun fact.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Yes, thank women thinking they can change.
And he was honest.
I think that's part of it too.
Like he's like it's somethingto be aligned with me in my face
, like I actually had likerespect for him.
So I'm like you're telling methe truth.
This is a girl that you justfeel loyal to because y'all came
out the mud together and youknow what I'm saying.
You feel a sense of loyalty toher, but you've been honest with
her too.
And I finally woke up one dayand I was just like I don't want
(34:06):
to do this anymore.
And y'all, literally like twodays after my birthday I'm good
friends with um Dami Wilkins andhe is OT.
He's like y'all, we got a biggame.
This is when Brani and Brycewere playing and he was like um,
we got a big game, y'all shouldcome.
I was like all right, cool.
So I'm like signing in at thetable, getting my bands and
stuff and like, literally, thisvoice like is like in my ear and
(34:27):
my body just was like oh, likewho is it?
And it was him.
I said devil, I know you ain'ttrying to try me.
Two days after my 40th, like wewalking into a new season, get
the behind me.
I was like we're not doing this.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
So, to that point, shifting gears when we get back,
I want to ask you about somegood mental and emotional health
practices, because I hear thegrowth in your, in your voice
and in your story.
When we get back, relationshipsmatter.
(35:02):
The podcast.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Welcome back to Relationships Matter, the
podcast.
So before we went to breakJoshua, you had a question for
Crystal.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Man for my folks that's on this journey, lord
knows, myself included, but thisconversation has been really
beautiful and just starting bytalking about younger you to, as
you continue to grow and evolveand where you are now, what are
some of the practices that youuse to have a healthier, you
(35:44):
know, emotional and mental space, like, what are you doing for
your wellness?
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yeah, for me.
This year I found the righttherapist.
I always tell people the storythe first time I realized I
needed therapy.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Can you say it one more time?
Because typically people say,yeah, I found my therapist, but
that's big that you said theright one.
Yeah, because I feel likethat's why, especially people
that look like us, that's a lotof the reason why people don't
go to therapy is that one sitdown that didn't go well and it
(36:18):
ruined it for everybody, youknow everything else, so I'll
let you go ahead.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Definitely I'm finding the right one.
And when I say the right one, Ialways encourage people to
something like dating, like findit, like talk to several
different therapists to seewhich one really fits you.
You don't just jump into, like,a relationship, you don't
settle down with one personwithout being like, okay, let me
.
There are a few people who belike I don't like that, I like
this, like that, okay, you'rethe one because you encompass
(36:43):
all these things.
So I had a therapist last yearthat just didn't we didn't jail,
you know and I realized Iwasn't being honest with her
because I just didn't feel thesafe space, you know.
So this year I found atherapist Shout out to my
manager DeNora.
She introduced me to Dr DelaynaZimmerman and, when I tell you,
(37:05):
completely changed my life,changed the way that I look at
myself.
She helped me, unpack thingsbecause as we get older, if we
haven't talked to someone, we'vedeveloped habits since
childhood that we carried onthrough our whole lives, and
especially in the blackcommunity, or particularly in
the black community, we've beentaught house business is house
(37:26):
business and whatever happens inthis house stays in this house
and sometimes it's not the bestsituations and you just have
suppressed that your entire life.
You picked up behaviors fromyour, from people that raised
you, not realizing why you arethe way you are.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
What's one of the hardest things you've had to
unpack.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
For me, the hardest thing was me even just reliving
my childhood.
I felt I opened up about it onmy Get To Know Me episode where
I talked about just how harsh itwas talked about contemplating
suicide.
And it wasn't until I did mypodcast that I even ever said it
(38:05):
out loud that there were timeswhere I would literally sit in
my floor as a teenager wantingto kill myself and what was
driving that?
Just the honestly.
It was just the environmentthat I was in and always feel
like happy, perfect.
And then I ended up being thisadult.
(38:26):
It wasn't until literally likelast year that I stopped
pursuing perfection, like Ibecame a control free because I
had to have control ofeverything, because everything
had to go like this.
Because it didn't go like this,you're going to like
everything's going to fall apartand I didn't realize I was
probably running so many peopleaway just from having like from
that little girl, neverreleasing that.
And it was finding a therapist,finding time, because I'm so
(38:51):
busy finding time to just bestill.
So I took on yoga and withinyoga I literally learned to
listen to my thoughts and italso made me appreciate every
breath, because if you're notbreathing, you can't move.
And as I'm making these movesand going through the flow, I
realized I'm like out of breathand I'm like it's hard in the
(39:13):
beginning and then it starts toget easier.
But it gets easier because youlearn how to breathe and you
learn how to listen to your bodyand it was pushing me, but it
was also pushing me mentally,you know.
So I do that for my wellness.
I take time to journal in themornings, pray.
Right now I'm reading the Bibleall the way through and that's
(39:35):
even helping me, because I usedto care a lot of guilt and shame
.
I think all of us have donethings that we're ashamed of,
and when you have a relationshipwith God, you don't forgive
yourself, even though God has.
You know what I'm saying and asI'm reading the Bible, I'm like
, oh, my goodness, the thing I'mlearning is that everything God
promised from Abraham to NoahJoshua, everything that he
(39:58):
promised these guys, no matterwhat they did having times they
fell off course or made mistakes, he kept his promise.
You know, and it let me know.
The whole message is that waslike God's never going to leave
you.
And in that moment and just ingoing through the Bible and
really studying it, I'm learningto give myself more grace, you
know, and also to see others theway I want God to see me,
(40:21):
because so many times we're likereally quick to cut people off
and judge people and be like no,I can't deal with you.
What if God did that to me?
You know what I'm saying.
Like I was like no, I'm donewith you because you made one
mistake or because you did thisand I don't agree with it.
So I start to look at peoplefor who they are, where they are
in their walk and in their lifeand in the season that they're
(40:41):
in, and be more mindful, becauseI've had my seasons.
I'm going to continue to havethem, you know.
So I think those two thingstherapy, yoga, journal well,
most of things therapy yoga,journaling and reading my Bible.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
How's the relationship with your parents?
Speaker 3 (40:59):
It's much better.
It's much better because when Iopened up about what I've been
saying, what I experienced in mychildhood, it definitely caused
a strain in my whole family andyou and I have discussed
offline about how, when youstart to open up about things
that you went through, it hurtsthe people that either did it to
(41:20):
you or it hurts the people thatare connected to those people
and it's like, well, we neverknew about this or why would you
bring that up.
And then you don't getaccountability and that hurts
like what.
People don't want to takeaccountability for their actions
.
But what I've learned is thatyour story is your story.
What you've been through iswhat you've been through, and
(41:42):
only you had to live that, soyou don't have to keep that to
yourself.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
I wanted to share something in regards to that,
because I have a book.
The book is actuallyRelationships Matter, but it's
the book and I had a booksigning in my hometown and my
dad and my mom.
They were married for a shorttime but my dad he stepped out,
he cheated and he had a childwith someone who was a friend of
(42:09):
my mom's and growing up thatwas like everybody knew in my
mind.
I mean almost to the pointwhere I felt like it's been so
many years ago, it's normal,like y'all know this.
And so I wrote about it in thebook because I talked about how
it shaped me as an adult notgrowing up, my dad raised me, I
(42:29):
went to live with him at the ageof 10, but just having that
experience and having knowledgeof that and I invited this lady
to the book signing because I,yes and my dad was there and I
grew up with my sister my sisterthat he had with her and I
guess while they were waitingfor me to come to the book
(42:50):
signing, they was reading thefirst few pages of the book and
I guess they saw what I spokeabout, that situation, and she
left and my dad said that mysister said to him why would she
invite my mom if she was goingto put that in the book?
I said, but that's that, that'swhat happened.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
We all know what happened.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
We all know what happened, y'all acting like that
didn't happen.
So I had like I still haven'tspoken to her.
So that's one of thoserelationships that I'm going to
have to, at a certain point, menhave that conversation.
I'm going to talk to my brother.
He said, well, it wasn't normalfor us and I'm saying it wasn't
cause to me it was.
(43:34):
You know what I'm saying, oreven just being transparent
about growing up and myrelationship with my mom and dad
, which I have a greatrelationship with both, but my
mom was young when she had me,even though she was married, she
was young and so she'll be likeoh my God, you said I was from
the street.
I told mama you we grew updifferently.
Yeah, she grew up in New Jersey,you know.
(43:55):
But then I'll say somethingnice.
She'll be like oh my God, youknow so that's all very
sensitive.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Yeah, you shine a light on imperfections and I
think a lot of us we hide behindthat.
You know and try to be perfectand we don't want people to know
those skeletons and I wantpeople to know, and so that
could definitely cause a wedgein the family.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
But I want to talk about your podcast, right, and
so keep it positive, sweetieRight.
And the premise is a safe spacefor women to love, heal and
grow.
Yes, right, what inspired youto start the podcast?
Speaker 2 (44:29):
She will answer that Right.
When we get back, relationshipsmatter.
The podcast.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Welcome back to relationships matter the podcast
.
So, crystal, talk to us aboutyour podcast.
Yeah, what inspired it?
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Honestly, it was a this is a funny story, so it was
a hater on Instagram.
I had a young lady comeorganize my closet and the young
lady said, instead of showingoff all your handbags and
clothes and shoes, maybe she gobuy some land or some property?
And I said, well, who's thetown on have all that?
(45:17):
I said what you need to see isthat I'm supporting another
young woman's business and notlooking at the things that have.
And I put hashtag keep itpositive, sweetie.
And my fans first drug herthrough the mud and then
everything after it was keep itpositive, sweetie.
Wow, and it was going to bejust a segment on the podcast,
but we ended up making it thename.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Wow, and then what about the premise?
A safe space for women who wantto love heal and grow the
premise.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
honestly, I wanted to create a safe space for women.
I did a sense of community sothat we have somewhere to go and
heal.
In the beginning I didn't knowif my voice mattered and after
that first episode I was likewhoa yeah like I didn't even
understand, like the communitythat had behind me and they made
(46:07):
me feel safe and in turn, weall feel safe and now we're
three seasons in healingtogether.
Wonderful, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
All right, josh go ahead.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Well, she knows what I'm looking like, this my first
question is and this ain't theone- but my first question is
have you created a safe spacefor you?
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Yes, I have yes.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
My second question is because the first time we got a
chance to meet, I asked youhave you forgiven yourself?
Now, being on the other side, Iwant to know have you
absolutely, without a doubt,forgiven others in your life?
Speaker 3 (46:54):
That is so good, Josh .
I'm getting there becausesometimes it's hard to forgive
and this is crazy because ourpastor just preached about it.
Sometimes you're not gonna getthe apology that you want, but
you've got to learn to forgiveyourself so that you can heal.
So I'm getting there.
(47:15):
I'm getting there, but I feellike if I don't hold any ill
will towards anyone, so in asense I'm on the forgiving path,
but I feel like there'd be moreof a sense of peace when I'm
fully forgiven and I'm not thereyet, Just still working on it,
(47:36):
I think, processing the lack ofaccountability, because
sometimes the little crystaljust wants an apology.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Is it more so that you want little crystal to get
that?
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Yeah, because that little girl and little boy never
leaves us.
We carry them with us forever.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Will you hold on to that?
Speaker 3 (48:02):
Yeah.
So, Until I feel peace.
I'm working on it though.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
We all are.
But I ask because I know that'sa very big step for you because
, you freely told me, you forgetyourself.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
And I picked up on that and that was one of the
things that was burning, becauseI'm like, okay, what about?
Speaker 3 (48:26):
the other people, so good yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
And then based on that will you be able to fully
be crystal in your relationship.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
I believe, where I am now, having the awareness of
who I am and learning a lot ofthings, because when you put the
mirror to yourself, you reallystart to see like, oh, this is
what everyone else has beenexperiencing all these years.
You're blind to how you reallyare until you start talking to a
therapist and realize, oh, oh,my gosh, that would annoy me too
(49:06):
.
I think now I can fully bemyself.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
And I have more understanding and empathy for
people as well.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
So, since you can fully be yourself, then look at
me and talk to Crystal.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Wow Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
And I want you to lay it out on the line, because on
one end you said that you can beyou, but then there's something
that's holding you.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
So if you can talk to Crystal, I would tell Crystal
you are amazing.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
You are not with what you've been through.
You have overcome so much.
You are strong, you are anamazing friend, you have a big
heart, you put others first, youlove God and God sees you.
And to always remember that youare enough, that's what I would
(50:12):
tell myself.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
Absolutely, and since you just did pray on it, but I
think that try to make whateverefforts you need to forgive
those people in your life, myfather, for example.
You know I never played about mydad growing up but he has
(50:38):
caused, you know, a lot of painin my life and a lot of hurt and
I had to realize right, becauseyou spoke about people that
lack accountability, and he isone of those people, and one of
the biggest things that I coulddo is literally just say I love
you.
It's cool.
I ain't even expecting nothingelse for you Because you're
(51:01):
going to be you, but that ain'tgoing to stop me from going and
doing what I need to do, and I'mgoing to thank you because what
you didn't do for me and whatyou didn't give me allowed me to
be a better father and a betterperson, because I wanted to
make sure that I was never goingto be like you, you know.
So I can give a millionexamples, but there's something
(51:26):
that's burning inside of me,because I know you're saying
what you're saying and I fullybelieve you, but I really want
to encourage you to really takethat step sooner rather than
later, because you're going toflourish even more so you
already got coverings andblessings and everything else
over your life.
(51:46):
You're doing amazing things,right, you're touching a lot of
people, but stepping away fromwhat you do and starting with
self is so important that youtake the time and really, really
, really look whomever thosepeople are in the eyes or write
it out or whatever that processlooks like for you and let that
(52:08):
go, because I feel that you knowwhat I'm saying.
When I saw you the first time,I said I know pain when I see it
, I know and I feel that.
But even though you're in adifferent space in your life, I
still feel that right and I prayfor you.
I really hope that you're ableto let that go, because that's
going to be big for you.
I really do.
You know what I'm saying.
(52:28):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
I never see that.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
This is such a subtle .
Speaker 2 (52:33):
Like she is so good she's fighting it though,
because last time we you knowshe was prepared to go, but
she's good though Her story.
I mean, this is beautifulThings that you share.
I just think it's so importantthat people understand how hard
this is.
Speaker 3 (52:51):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
And the funny part is , even as adults, that, whatever
age, that that thing thathappened, that's what you see.
That comes out right Inrelationships, in friendships,
all of those things, because itkeeps people at a distance and
that's how we protect ourselves.
But as we grow, you know, andthe things that we want, we have
(53:14):
to be able to take that stepright.
Whether it's relationship orbusiness or whatever, there's
always going to be that onething that's like holding us and
then it's like God, but Godgoing to keep giving you that
same test until you figure thatthing out Absolutely.
You know what I mean and I knowyour heart is so big Like I can
feel the love.
Like seriously, like you knowthe work that you're doing, the
(53:36):
person that you've become.
You know you're an example forwomen.
You're doing work to create thespaces for women.
I mean I've never seen thiswoman light up, the way that
she's lit up, but she was soexcited to meet you, and
rightfully so.
You know what I mean.
Like you're just a beautifulperson with everything that
you're doing, not because of thesuccesses, but spiritually.
(53:58):
I feel you right, mentally,emotionally.
Those are the things that areimportant.
You know what I'm saying and Ihope that people get to see that
part to your heart and anybodyfor that matter, because a lot
of times we judge people basedon what they do, their platforms
and all of that.
But for you, like you said,like this is my purpose.
I chased this dream, I'machieving it and I want to be
(54:20):
better and do better.
But it's important that peoplesee you and I'm not speaking to
like another man, but I hopeyour family sees you, because
right now they got blinders on.
I hope some of your friends, ifthey don't see you and
appreciate you, that they removethe blinders as well.
You know what I mean, becauseenough of us deal with that
foolishness, man.
But I do pray for you heavilybecause you know that's
(54:43):
beautiful and everything thatyou're doing, and I hope that
you overcome that big hurdle,because that's your biggest one,
at least in my opinion,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (54:55):
All right, guys, that's our time, god, I hate to
end it, thank you.
So I mean everybody knows whereto find your crystal.
But just for the sake of it alllet everybody know where they
can find you on social media.
Speaker 3 (55:08):
Yeah, as you can find me on Instagram at
lovecrystalline.
That's L-U-V crystalline, andkeep it positive.
Sweetie is on Instagram as well, and that's sweetie with an I-E
All right.
Speaker 1 (55:19):
See you guys next time.
Relationship Spend at thePocket.
I'm Chanel Scott, the queen of relationship talk.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I'm Josh Powell, two-time NBA champion.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I've journeyed from trauma to healing.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
From the NBA to family, I've learned what really
matters.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
We've come together to unlock the secrets of
successful relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
One conversation at a time.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
One conversation at a time.
Welcome to Relationships.
Man of the Podcast.
I am Chanel Scott.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
And I am Josh Powell.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And we have an amazing episode for you guys.
We have a very special guest,my special guest.
I'm going to take ownership ofthat, even though I had nothing
to do with it.
But we have Miss Crystal ReneeHazlett.
Welcome to Relationships Matter.
Thank you, thank you both, forhaving me.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Of course, this is like one of those bucket list
items for me, so you got toexcuse me.
Just look past me.
I'm going to have some fun.
I'm excited to be here.
We are about to have some fun.
So this episode was inspired byyour episode of dating in your
40s, right?
Is that the proper title?
That is yes, that is it.
But what I wanted.
I wanted to do a little spin onthat, right, because you talked
about dating in your 40s andwhat that experience was like.
(01:11):
But then we've dated in our 30s, we've dated in our 20s, and I
want to talk about thedifferences, like in terms of
boundaries.
What types of boundaries haveyou loosened up on?
What types of boundaries haveyou put in place from the age of
20 to now 40?
So let's talk about your 20s.
(01:32):
Oof Over against what we'redoing today.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
What was different when you were in your 20s?
Speaker 3 (01:42):
In my 20s I was still searching for who Crystal was.
You know, I'm from a small townand then I moved to DC yes, big
city.
So much more to do, a lot moredistractions, and I think in
that time I was a little moreloose, you know, because I was.
It's almost like letting me outthe cage, like finally I'm free
(02:02):
, you know, like mom and dad areway, far, far away and I can
have fun.
It was so much to do in DC.
I wasn't as guarded as I am now.
Ok, I've always been a woman offaith, raised in the church, so
they always say a child, evenwhen I was like the prodigal
daughter like you're going to goaway, but you always come back
(02:25):
to what your parents instilledin you.
And I hit a wall in DC and I waslike I got to find a church
home.
Like I was just going to work,going to work, going to clubs,
like just hanging with all thewrong people.
And I found a church home andactually the daughter of the
pastor of the church that I wentto.
We're still a really goodfriends to this day.
But that was the moment where Irealized I need to make some
(02:48):
changes.
You know, just heartbreak afterheartbreak and just wondering,
like why does this keephappening to me?
I was attracting the same typeof guy every single time, and
that started in college.
Like I was attracting the sametype of guy from college through
my 20s.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
What was that decision based on?
I'm sorry, I just because youwere talking about attracting
the same type of guy.
So what was that, you know,decision based on?
What were the qualities thatthese young men were having?
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Well, I dated my first millionaire in college.
So it was like when you'reexposed to that at such a very
young, vulnerable age, you'reconstantly chasing that you know
what I'm saying Somebody thatcan provide, somebody that can
take you on trips and buy youall these lavish gifts.
And then you start to thinklike this is what love is, this
is what relationships aresupposed to be like.
(03:38):
If you can't do this for me,then I want that like I need
this, and I continue to attractthat.
I continue to attract the guywho had all the money but wasn't
faithful, you know.
And you get to a point whereyou feel like and I think I mean
I can't speak for all women,but I feel like we've all been
in a position where we allowcertain things to happen as long
(04:00):
as the man did what we wanted,as long as you get me what I
want.
But that's a very immaturemindset and I can definitely say
I was like super immature atthat age.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I can identify with your story in the sense of,
first of all, six foot one.
In high school I was awkward.
But when I went to college, mylife changed overnight.
Right, and because I'm six footone, I'm attracting the
athletes.
And I got my heart broke by myfirst athlete.
He was a college ball player,but my mindset was I'm going to
(04:29):
get better than you.
So then I started on this pathof I'm going to do a
professional athlete and that'swhat it's going to be.
And if it's not that, then I'mnot going to do it and I need to
get better than you.
And I need to get better thanyou, and you better than you.
You want to top the next, youwant to top the next, right.
So, just going through thatpattern and not faithful, but in
my mind it was like you know,it became the norm for me.
(04:53):
You know what I'm saying?
Until I had to, like, take alook, going into the thirties
and saying, okay, do you want tostill continue to go down this
path?
Do you still want this to belike your journey?
Do you still want to continueto be treated in this way?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Yes, yeah.
So saying yeah, 30 is somethingsweet.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Yeah, Something switched so in your thirties.
What was different?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
in my thirties, I had a sense of self identity.
You know, I had moved toAtlanta when I was 26.
And I started finding mypurpose.
I, at that point, I knew what Iwanted, or you know what I'm
saying.
It changes, you know.
I think a lot of people feellike what you, whatever you said
in your mind in that moment, iswhat you're going to want
(05:36):
forever.
We're constantly evolving.
So what I was attracted to at30, I'm not attracted to.
I'm attracted to my forties.
You know, and I think it'simportant to allow yourself to
grow, give each version ofyourself grace.
You know, because sometimes wecan be so hard on ourselves for
where we are in the present, notknowing that we're just
learning as we go.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
So I thought about something, as you said, like
from thirties going into forties, but what did you bring from
your twenties into your thirties?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Oh, what did I bring from my twenties?
At that point, I think Ibrought in.
Well, I left a lot of things inmy twenties as far as being
more intentional about myfriends and my circle.
I was more intentional about whoI let in my space.
I became more guarded than Iwas in my twenties.
(06:25):
I was such a free spirit and Istill am to an extent but I'm so
much more guarded than I was inmy twenties.
I brought back my foundationwith God.
I made sure that was in theforefront in my thirties and
forward and in life.
There was moments where I mayhave not been going to church
(06:46):
every Sunday, or you know whatI'm saying, the things that we
practice now when we're superintentional about that walk, but
that was always at theforefront.
What else did I bring into mythirties?
I brought more knowledge.
You know knowledge from everyexperience.
I try to take everything andlearn from it, because a lot of
times we can go through thingsand in my 20s I was constantly
(07:08):
repeating the cycle, notlearning the lesson, just
thinking, okay, this, this, thisis going to be different.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, no, it's this you're doing the same thing.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
It's not going to change.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
What experiences did you have that made you so
guarded?
Like what was it?
You know, because you said Iwas a free spirit and so I
became more guarded.
Did something happen?
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Yeah, I dated a very hot still to this day I'm not
going to give you the name, butI mean it's public but top five
in the league NBA player stillto this day he is and people
completely missed.
I've never been in the lightlike that.
You know, like I've always beenlike just the girl.
(07:48):
I was working on my own things.
I was still working on music,working on being an actor, and
to see like how the Blas canliterally tear you down and not
know who you are or not evenlike know the truth about the
subject matter.
They're just like making upstuff.
And I was like dang, like I knewthen and that was the moment I
unfollowed all the blog sitesbecause I was on the receiving
(08:09):
end of it.
There was a point in my lifewhere I'd wake up every morning
see what was going on media.
There was like media takeoutand all those sites around.
I'm like what are they talkingabout today?
And me and my girls would talklike girl, you saw what just
happened.
When you wake up and you're inthe headlines and it's like that
is not even true.
It's the most hurtful thing.
And I think in that moment Ibegan to guard my relationships
(08:32):
like closer, and that's when Icame up with you know what I'm
going to nurture and take in.
Keep things private versus justletting everybody know what I'm
doing.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Outside of keeping things private.
What are some things that youlearned in that process, because
I think that's important towrite.
You may not live the type oflife that you live, but any type
of public embarrassment or yourbusiness the narrative being
told without anybody asking ofyour part of the story.
(09:06):
So I think this can help a lotof people.
But for you, what were some ofthe things that you had to
overcome?
Or maybe it was some peoplethat you was like, oh, that's
what you're all on, or whatever.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Because the crazy thing is, when you read those
things and some of the stuff,you're like, wait a minute, this
is like two, like certainthings.
You're like I know I sharedthis with a personal friend and
you're like you'd like somebody,like somebody somewhere went
back and said what I said andcompletely twisted it.
So it was like I rememberhaving this conversation.
(09:40):
But there's things that mayhappen in a relationship.
Say me and your relationship,and you're my best friend.
I may be like, girl, this iswhat we went through or this is
what we did today, and it mayhave been something that you
were doing with a big brand thatwas top secret.
But I'm just telling my friend,oh yeah, we had this big Nike
shoot.
And then it turns out that, ohyeah, she was running around
telling everybody about thisNike shoot.
There was a big.
(10:00):
You know what I'm saying?
I'm talking about things thatcould have cost this person
millions of dollars, and itwasn't even my no malicious
intentions I would y'all dotoday.
Oh girl, we had this big Nikeshoot.
And then it turns into a wholestory and I'm like that's not.
And then you're looking at mecrazy, like why'd you?
I was like, no, I was justtelling my friend what happened,
(10:21):
like not to be put in the blogs.
And then you start looking ateverybody around you crazy Like
who's you know what I'm sayingLeaking this stuff, and then you
stopped trusting people.
So for me, that was one thingthat I took from it is to hold
things close to your chest andtalk to people that you know
like can't by law, can't tellyour business, you know, until
(10:45):
you know, if it comes out, youknow who it was.
Because I was just thinkingeverybody's happy for me and
everybody's not happy for you.
They want to be where you are.
They want to be with the personyou're with and learn.
That's another thing I learned.
Everybody's not happy for you.
I learned that you have to alsobe careful of how people are
(11:09):
connected to them, treat youbecause it's all good and then
until they realize, oh, hereally likes this girl then,
everybody's like.
I don't like her no more.
So you got to, yeah.
So there was a lot of thosethings and everybody's thinking,
oh, you're a gold digger,you're this and this, and that.
It's crazy because everythingI'm doing now is what I was
(11:30):
pursuing then, like I was nevertrying to live off of anybody, I
was always a go getter tryingto get my own.
And now he's like dang, I'm sopretty Like you really did it.
I was always trying to do it,and then it happened, but people
put all these labels on you forwhatever reason, and it's like
I'm not that person.
It's really hurtful because Idon't have like a vicious bone
(11:52):
in my body and then for peopleto like put these labels on you
was like a very hurtful spaceand really just kind of started
staying to myself after that.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Even as I listened to you tell your story, I can hear
the preparation for what I see,as far as TV I see, but I hear
it then Right, and I thoughtabout that, like when he asked
that question, I was like I wasin preparation for it.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah, I heard that.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
So, with everything that you experienced, how do you
even do you have new friends oryou just stick with your day
ones?
How does that go?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
We're going to let her answer that that's good,
we'll get back Relationshipsmatter to podcasts Welcome back
to relationships matter.
The podcast.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
So we have miss crystal haslet and you guys know
her from the team and sisters,so I want to get back into my
questions.
So my first question I wasasking is how do you choose
friends today, or do you juststick with day ones?
What does that process looklike?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
You know what?
I have some amazing girlfriends.
I really do.
I have some day ones and I havewomen that I've met along the
way and right now I feel likethis is the safest group of
women.
We are all like minded Shoutout Pastor Darius Daniels.
He always says find soberminded friends and friends that
(13:22):
are going to get on the floorwith you Like it's your worst
moments.
And I can honestly say thatevery person, even my male
friends, everyone that's aroundme, I genuinely feel like
they're like here for me for theright reasons, because as you
continue to climb and your starcontinues to ascend, you do have
to be very careful about thepeople that you let around you.
You know, because everybody'snot doesn't have your best
(13:45):
interest at heart, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I noticed one of your friends.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Keanu Watson, she did .
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I have another show that was on Fox, so did
relationship talk and she andher husband was on my show and I
know she's a good friend ofyours.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
I just talked to her the other day.
I love Keanu Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So I want to pivot this conversation.
So before I knew of Sisters ofTeam, I was very familiar with
DeVal and Kadeem and I watchedthem.
They were social mediainfluencers before he was ever
on the show.
And so when I first watched theshow before I grew to be like
this big fan of yours.
I was like, how is that working?
Like I'm having a hard timedeciphering the difference.
(14:23):
I know that he is very you knowpublic with his relationship
and we got to know them onsocial media as a couple.
And then to see the show theshow was very intimate, yes,
Right, yeah.
How do you guys balance that?
And then I even look at some ofthe comments on his post.
Not so much now.
Yeah, They've calmed down a lot.
(14:45):
Yeah, it was bad, but beforepeople was like you, cheating on
your life man.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Yeah, how do you guys balance that?
I remember the first time I hada kissing scene with DeVal.
And it was like right when Tylerhad written our characters
together and I remember evenreading the script, I was like
why did he put me in Zachtogether?
Like it didn't.
Like it's so good though, yeah,it totally makes sense now, but
(15:10):
I didn't get it.
I was like you could have wrotesome fine Darcy, yeah, you know
I'm thinking of like whatcrystal won't.
I was like, okay, whatever.
So we started working together.
Covid hit quarantine, happened.
All the shows come to a halt.
We're in quarantine.
(15:31):
So he was still living inCalifornia.
We're FaceTiming, starting torun lines.
Because this is like my firstbig gig.
So I'm like I want to they callme Crystal Renee run it hazelit
, because as an actor, do youwant to run lines, which is
rehearsing?
So, like Crystal always wantsto run it.
You want to run it, you want torun it.
So we were running lines justtrying to get our chemistry
(15:53):
together and then we finally getthe call.
Hey, we're going to.
Tyler created this bubble for ashout out TP.
We were the first studio tocome back to work during the
quarantine because he built abubble where we had to stay on
campus.
Like super grateful for that,because so many people were
struggling during that time andhe gave us an outlet to be
creative and to continue to makea living.
(16:15):
But we had a kissing scene andyou would have thought I was on
the playground as a fifth graderkissing my first little crush
and like I was literally like Iwas 30, some years old, Like
I've definitely kissed peoplebefore, but it was something
about kissing the married manthat I just could not like.
(16:35):
Separate Zach, the character,and DeVal, kadeen's husband.
So he calls Kadeen and he'stold this story before.
He's like can you please tellthis girl it's okay to kiss me
and she's like girl, you betterkiss him.
We need these checks to clearand you know I after that I was
like all right, it was stillweird.
(16:56):
It got easier over time becauseI had to learn how to stop
judging the character, as ifCrystal is the one kissing a
married man.
It's not Crystal.
This is Fatima and Zach, notCrystal and DeVal.
And once I was able to let thatgo and even stop judging her,
because a lot of actors have thetendency to put themselves in
the position of the character.
You're like that's, youwouldn't do that, but that's
(17:18):
okay.
Somebody out here is livingthis life, just play the
character.
And from that from me gettingcomfortable and not judging the
character comes so much judgmentfrom our audience and fans of
DeVal and Kadeen separately, youknow, because they had an
amazing fan base before DeVal,like you said, before he even
(17:40):
came on the show, and because wedo our job very well.
People like this is a littletoo real.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, like it is, yeah, no, like literally, like
it's uncomfortable sometimes forpeople to watch.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
But because we tapped into that and decided, hey, I'm
going to play this as if youare the person I'm really in
love with, because that's whatthe part we're playing, it
became very believable forpeople, even to the point where
Tyler was like I like this.
And then we got our own show.
You know what I'm saying.
If I had a half ass that roleor had not committed to it, I
(18:16):
wouldn't have my own show, youknow.
So it was really hard becausepeople were saying things based
off of my work you know what I'msaying and saying like, dang, I
really believe y'all like hatsoff to y'all for really like
committing to that part.
It was like, nah, like they wereliterally pouring their own
insecurities on a character.
But then it started to likecome at me in my own personal
(18:40):
integrity and character, youknow, and it was super hurtful
and DeVal and I talked about itand he was like I'm gonna like,
cause he would like DeVal, he'sjust has a big heart, he wants
to just shine light on everybodyand he was like I'm gonna like,
pull back on, like posting youand stuff, because you're always
(19:00):
gonna get the grunting of thisstick.
He was like nobody's gonna comeat Kadeen.
You know what I'm saying?
It's always gonna be about you.
He said nobody's gonna come atme and he was like because they
cannot get past, that's not yourwife.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
We went to New York.
Why is?
But why is society like that,Even in a real life situation,
right?
Why does the woman get the runinto the stick.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I don't know what that's about.
It's always, you know, I don'tknow, I don't understand, and we
are like the most fragile, likewe're so strong but like on the
inside, we're the ones that aresupposed to be protected and I
feel like most of the time we'renot and we have to deal with
those things on our own, like inour own time, isolated, where,
when nobody sees it, you know,and I would see those comments
(19:46):
at home, like sitting at home,and I'm like that's not who I am
.
Like this is my job Right.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Now what?
Are you in a relate?
I'm sorry, josh, you know, wereyou in a relationship?
I was gonna ask you, how doesthat?
And then I'm gonna pivot, I'mgonna let you.
Then I'm gonna let you, I'mgonna let you finish, you're
gonna let you finish, but likein a relationship, like where
have you been in a relationshipwhile you've had this show and,
if so, how does it impact?
Like your real liferelationship.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Yeah, you know, for the majority of me shooting
sisters and the team, I have notbeen in a relationship.
I just recently had one thisyear and he was very secure in
himself, you know, and hewouldn't watch those scenes, you
know, but he was like verysupportive of my career and
(20:36):
understood that's your job.
You know what I'm saying.
Like he wasn't insecure aboutthat at all.
But I will say that I wassingle for a long time because a
lot of men couldn't handle that.
They like I don't wanna see youon camera kissing another man.
I don't care if it is fake, Idon't care if, like, you're
having sex and you're causepeople don't understand.
Like it was to a point where Iwas like if I do date somebody,
(20:57):
I'm gonna.
I had to bring them to set sothey can actually see.
Oh okay, like I have a wholeyoga mat cut out in the shape of
a pad.
You know what a maxi pad lookslike.
I literally have a yoga mat cutout in the shape of that in
between my legs, so there's nosimulation at all.
And then he has a sock on andhe's completely taped down Like
(21:18):
he can't even if, like, his mindwent there.
He can't even like there's nophysical way that it can even
come up.
So like, and then I'm not on topof him you know what I'm saying
.
Like I may be on his stomach oron his thighs, but we're never
crossing that line and we haveintimacy coordinators that are
making sure like nothing'stouching.
Cause I'm very big on that.
I don't want, I don't care whoit is.
(21:39):
Like, I want to make sure that,like I'm protected, they're
protected because men can likethere's women that on set that
may take advantage of a man andthere's men that may take
advantage of a woman.
And you're in the act of actingand you feel something like
wait a minute now.
Like this is not what we'redoing.
You know, that can be veryuncomfortable.
So I'm just grateful that whenwe have intimacy coordinators
(22:01):
that protect us but we like putthere's so many different like
things that people don't see.
But the way that camera angleis just like wait a minute,
they're really doing it.
And like I remember the firsttime I had to like give head on
TV and Tyler was like call me,he's like Josh is like what I
(22:23):
had to give him on TV and I waslike I mean, don't make it look
like.
I said, am I going like underthe covers or something, cause I
don't want to.
You see my head.
Just you know he was like he'slike Chris, you know, I got you,
I'm not about to have youlooking crazy.
I said okay, so I didn't knowthat here's a little TV secret.
When we had to go, every sixthing that we have on the script
(22:45):
, we have a meeting with ourintimacy coordinator to
choreograph it.
So she was like so she's like,this is what you do when you
give him head on TV.
And I was like what she said?
You just do the alphabet withyour head.
So you let it go.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Ah, okay, oh, okay, in the direction.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
It makes it look like from the but you're not doing
anything.
Like you're like.
Yeah, you're like, this farfrom the person, like you're not
even touching them.
Okay, yeah, it's like, but it'sall at angles and the way they
capture it.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
How they capture it, Like it's nothing sexy about it.
I think that was my firstepisode that I've seen.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
It was a team when he did it.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I was like did he do it?
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Yeah, no, like he was .
No, he was like here.
He was nowhere near here.
It was crazy.
That was a very uncomfortablescene For me.
I was like Tyler, you bettershoot this right.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Josh what.
The floor is yours, sir ABCs.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
We're going to have more and when we come back,
relationships matter to podcast.
We'll see y'all in a minute.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
I need a break.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Welcome back to relationships matter, the
podcast.
So before we went to break mypartner over here, he had some
questions for Ms Crystal.
Sir, the floor is yours.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Well, because I know y'all going to get back into it.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I know, because I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
I just I love Crystal , but I think something is good
for the viewers right, just froma healing standpoint.
Can you speak on positiveprivacy in regards to your life?
That is so that is such a greatquestion, josh, because you
talked about how you wentthrough all of these different
things and you had to.
(24:37):
You know, I don't want to saylearn the hard way, because it's
just some things just happened.
And there was innocence, youknow, on your part, or maybe it
was innocence on somebody else'spart, who knows?
But I think it's important toshare with people how to
navigate in that space, not justwith your personal, but even
with friends or family.
Like, what does that look likebased off of the things that
(24:58):
you've been able to learn?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah, it's funny you asking that because the last
relationship I was in.
I've been practicing privacy inmy relationships since that
situation, and that was in 2000.
2010?
Yeah, 2010, through like 2015.
That's when I was reallylearning what privacy really was
(25:20):
in relationships and how tolook, because we live in such a
let's take pictures and put iton Instagram type of world where
I was like I'm not doing thatuntil I have a husband.
And I remember the guy wasdating and he was like I mean,
why are we taking pictures?
Like it's not you gonna post it?
And I was like so it let meknow that that was deep down the
(25:41):
side of his issue.
You know, even though you talkto your partner and say, hey,
this is how I feel aboutrelationships, I want to protect
this.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
That's unfortunate.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Yeah, I want to protect it and keep it safe,
because once people think theycan, they can take outside
judgment until it startshappening.
And then you start secondguessing everything, which you
in most times is not even true,like you know what you have in
the relationship with the person, but you allow these outside
thoughts and voices to come intoyour relationship and then it
(26:09):
ruins things.
And, like you said, I mean, Idid have to learn that the hard
way and even with like familyfriends, people asked me like
they said oh, I didn't know youeven had a brother and two
sisters.
I protect my family too, youknow, and it's like I'm not
hiding them you know, but theydidn't sign up for this.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Right.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
You know what I'm saying.
They didn't sign up for my life.
They didn't sign up foreverything to be in the public
eye.
And because I do give so muchand I love my fans and I want
them to feel the love that theygive me back, even though I
can't like physically talk toevery one of them individually,
I try to make sure that I've letthem all know that I appreciate
them and give as much as I canwithout giving my whole life,
(26:52):
because you feel like you'rejust, like I have nothing to
myself.
You know, so you have to pickand choose.
All right, these are myboundaries.
We talked about boundaries.
These are my boundaries.
Like this is where I draw theline my relationships, my family
and I'll share certain things.
I'm just not going to plasterthem all over the place, you
know, but some some people kindof take even friends will talk
if you don't post them or tagthem.
(27:13):
They take it as not supporting.
You know, when lots of timeyou're not even thinking about
it, like I have a million thingson my mind.
I've got calls and managerslike you got to do this and need
this deadlines.
You know that I'm trying.
I'm one person trying to do allthis stuff, but everybody's
living in a what about me?
World.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Let me ask you this Is there a difference between
being private and secret?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Absolutely.
It's a big difference and Itell you all the time like I'm
not hiding anything.
If you see me on public, likeif I was hiding I wouldn't go
nowhere, you know like I'd betrying to like duck and dodge
everybody.
But I go out, people see me out.
I'm not trying to hide it, Ishow affection, like I'm not
like the whole my hand.
We go in here, you go in thisdoor, I'm going to go out this
door.
(27:55):
Like that's secrecy, you know,to a whole another extent.
Or like not telling people thatyou're in a relationship.
I feel like that's being secret.
You can say, yes, I'm in arelationship, but they don't
have to know who it is.
You know.
Like that's just how I feel.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
But even if you do get married, does that mean that
you'll be a little bit moreopen, or will you still hold?
You know what I mean, because,for example, Charlemagne right,
this man will post every otherwoman but his wife.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I wouldn't know if I saw her walking down the street.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
But on the flip side, you know, he talks about his
wife all the time and even withhis kids, like it's just.
I think everybody to get thisperspective is just super
important, because some peoplewill be very judgmental and
they're like, well, you ain'tposting that, it must mean you
don't love her because orwhatever.
But I've seen it where.
I've seen people post and I'mlike bro, I know how you moving.
(28:53):
That's crazy Some people postfor the disclaimer, but I'm
gonna shut up.
Oh, that was good, Uh-uh Josh.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
That was good.
I was gonna get your take.
That was good, I was gonna getyour take, I was gonna take your
take.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
I was gonna take your take and he was like what are
your thoughts?
Yeah, but if I do get married,that doesn't mean I'm gonna like
immediately just start likeplastering.
I like the way Issa Rae did it,Like you didn't even know she
was in a relationship until shewas like in a wedding dress,
Like I'm married.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
I didn't know she was married.
Yes, yeah, by me, okay.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
And another example that I love.
I love how Carrie Washington isLike she does not post anything
about, but we know who she'smarried to.
Like we see them, when we seethem, but it's like and they're
both okay with that, you know.
But you have to find somebodythat's okay with that and hear
for the right reasons, becausesometimes I feel like when
people are worried about that,it makes me especially in the
(29:48):
position I'm in.
It makes me look like what areyou really here for?
Are you trying to hit for?
cloud, Like you know, like, youstart to look at the person
sideways because are you?
What's on my Instagram Like?
So we saw my Facebook Like.
Seriously, you know, and I'vebeen that girl where I'm like
why we can't like.
But now that I'm in a differentposition in my life and matured
and understand the importanceof sacredness and protecting
(30:12):
your people that you love,that's a part of it, because we
live in a vicious world and it'sa lot of Twitter and Facebook
and Instagram gangsters out herethat just hide behind a
computer and talk shit aboutpeople all day.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
So you're 40s?
Yes, we are in our 40s, so whatis your love here?
Okay, what is the difference inyour 40s that you didn't
experience?
What difference is that youdidn't experience in your 30s?
Speaker 3 (30:41):
Oh child, I can't stay up, can't stay up, I'll be
tired.
No, like, seriously, I couldnot hang like I used to.
Like I went out the other nightstrike is over now and we were
out to like two in the morningcelebrating and I'm still
struggling.
That was two days ago.
So that was like the immediateshift.
I was like oh wow.
But I remember I had this hugebirthday party that I threw
(31:04):
myself and everybody was likeChristy, you just married
yourself.
This was like a wedding.
And I was like, no, I just wanteverybody to have fun.
And it was just an amazingnight.
And but I woke up the nextmorning and it was an immediate
shift in my mind.
In my 30s, I remember, justallowing, I had this one guy in
particular that I dated andbecause it was easy, you know,
(31:28):
like he had a situation andwasn't married, but he had like
a high school sweetheart thatwasn't going anywhere, but I
could see when I wanted to getwhat I wanted and I was like,
okay, this is easy because I'mbusy, my career's taken off,
like I don't need to be tieddown.
So it worked.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
What was it that you wanted?
What was it that you wanted?
Freedom, okay.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Freedom and what I needed, what I needed, it Okay.
And you said something Okay.
But I had to realize, you know,sometimes I think also because
I wasn't getting what I wantedlike I'm a hopeless romantic at
heart and because I wasn'tgetting what I wanted, I started
to settle for what I'm likeOkay, this is okay.
(32:08):
And I can attest to being thetype of woman that started to
make myself believe that I wasokay with being by myself.
You know what I'm saying.
Because it wasn't coming, Iwould literally say it's okay,
I'll be like Oprah, I'm justgoing to get this money and find
me a statement and we going tobe good, or I just won't have
(32:28):
any children, I'll be okay, LikeI'm fine.
And that was me trying to likepsych myself out to be okay with
the circumstances and not beinglike All right, God, if this is
what you have for me, God, youknow what I really want.
I'm going to allow you to bringthis to me.
I started to literally likecontrol my mind and say I don't
want these things.
Okay, I'm cool with this guy.
You understand I'm doing whathe another kept checking them
(32:53):
ball players.
He was a ball player and look at.
God, look, I have been delivered.
Thank you, jesus, I've beendelivered.
But um, and it's funny, onpaper he was everything you know
, like vegan, had his moneyright, business and affairs in
order, no, kids, just had a dog.
You know it was like, oh, thisis great Beautiful home on the
(33:15):
South side, out the way, andlike even him like wasn't hiding
me, like we would have dates inthe city, like it wasn't like
and she just knew what it was,you know, never wanted to get
married and I was like All right, and I'm in my mind like I
don't know if I want to getmarried either.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
And.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
I was also thinking deep down inside I can make him
leave her like he ain'tcommitted to her yet, so like
she's just thank you, yes, thankyou delivered.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Thank you, because that's a real fun fact.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Yes, thank women thinking they can change.
And he was honest.
I think that's part of it too.
Like he's like it's somethingto be aligned with me in my face
, like I actually had likerespect for him.
So I'm like you're telling methe truth.
This is a girl that you justfeel loyal to because y'all came
out the mud together and youknow what I'm saying.
You feel a sense of loyalty toher, but you've been honest with
her too.
And I finally woke up one dayand I was just like I don't want
(34:06):
to do this anymore.
And y'all, literally like twodays after my birthday I'm good
friends with um Dami Wilkins andhe is OT.
He's like y'all, we got a biggame.
This is when Brani and Brycewere playing and he was like um,
we got a big game, y'all shouldcome.
I was like all right, cool.
So I'm like signing in at thetable, getting my bands and
stuff and like, literally, thisvoice like is like in my ear and
(34:27):
my body just was like oh, likewho is it?
And it was him.
I said devil, I know you ain'ttrying to try me.
Two days after my 40th, like wewalking into a new season, get
the behind me.
I was like we're not doing this.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
So, to that point, shifting gears when we get back,
I want to ask you about somegood mental and emotional health
practices, because I hear thegrowth in your, in your voice
and in your story.
When we get back, relationshipsmatter.
(35:02):
The podcast.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Welcome back to Relationships Matter, the
podcast.
So before we went to breakJoshua, you had a question for
Crystal.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Man for my folks that's on this journey, lord
knows, myself included, but thisconversation has been really
beautiful and just starting bytalking about younger you to, as
you continue to grow and evolveand where you are now, what are
some of the practices that youuse to have a healthier, you
(35:44):
know, emotional and mental space, like, what are you doing for
your wellness?
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Yeah, for me.
This year I found the righttherapist.
I always tell people the storythe first time I realized I
needed therapy.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Can you say it one more time?
Because typically people say,yeah, I found my therapist, but
that's big that you said theright one.
Yeah, because I feel likethat's why, especially people
that look like us, that's a lotof the reason why people don't
go to therapy is that one sitdown that didn't go well and it
(36:18):
ruined it for everybody, youknow everything else, so I'll
let you go ahead.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Definitely I'm finding the right one.
And when I say the right one, Ialways encourage people to
something like dating, like findit, like talk to several
different therapists to seewhich one really fits you.
You don't just jump into, like,a relationship, you don't
settle down with one personwithout being like, okay, let me
.
There are a few people who belike I don't like that, I like
this, like that, okay, you'rethe one because you encompass
(36:43):
all these things.
So I had a therapist last yearthat just didn't we didn't jail,
you know and I realized Iwasn't being honest with her
because I just didn't feel thesafe space, you know.
So this year I found atherapist Shout out to my
manager DeNora.
She introduced me to Dr DelaynaZimmerman and, when I tell you,
(37:05):
completely changed my life,changed the way that I look at
myself.
She helped me, unpack thingsbecause as we get older, if we
haven't talked to someone, we'vedeveloped habits since
childhood that we carried onthrough our whole lives, and
especially in the blackcommunity, or particularly in
the black community, we've beentaught house business is house
(37:26):
business and whatever happens inthis house stays in this house
and sometimes it's not the bestsituations and you just have
suppressed that your entire life.
You picked up behaviors fromyour, from people that raised
you, not realizing why you arethe way you are.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
What's one of the hardest things you've had to
unpack.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
For me, the hardest thing was me even just reliving
my childhood.
I felt I opened up about it onmy Get To Know Me episode where
I talked about just how harsh itwas talked about contemplating
suicide.
And it wasn't until I did mypodcast that I even ever said it
(38:05):
out loud that there were timeswhere I would literally sit in
my floor as a teenager wantingto kill myself and what was
driving that?
Just the honestly.
It was just the environmentthat I was in and always feel
like happy, perfect.
And then I ended up being thisadult.
(38:26):
It wasn't until literally likelast year that I stopped
pursuing perfection, like Ibecame a control free because I
had to have control ofeverything, because everything
had to go like this.
Because it didn't go like this,you're going to like
everything's going to fall apartand I didn't realize I was
probably running so many peopleaway just from having like from
that little girl, neverreleasing that.
And it was finding a therapist,finding time, because I'm so
(38:51):
busy finding time to just bestill.
So I took on yoga and withinyoga I literally learned to
listen to my thoughts and italso made me appreciate every
breath, because if you're notbreathing, you can't move.
And as I'm making these movesand going through the flow, I
realized I'm like out of breathand I'm like it's hard in the
(39:13):
beginning and then it starts toget easier.
But it gets easier because youlearn how to breathe and you
learn how to listen to your bodyand it was pushing me, but it
was also pushing me mentally,you know.
So I do that for my wellness.
I take time to journal in themornings, pray.
Right now I'm reading the Bibleall the way through and that's
(39:35):
even helping me, because I usedto care a lot of guilt and shame
.
I think all of us have donethings that we're ashamed of,
and when you have a relationshipwith God, you don't forgive
yourself, even though God has.
You know what I'm saying and asI'm reading the Bible, I'm like
, oh, my goodness, the thing I'mlearning is that everything God
promised from Abraham to NoahJoshua, everything that he
(39:58):
promised these guys, no matterwhat they did having times they
fell off course or made mistakes, he kept his promise.
You know, and it let me know.
The whole message is that waslike God's never going to leave
you.
And in that moment and just ingoing through the Bible and
really studying it, I'm learningto give myself more grace, you
know, and also to see others theway I want God to see me,
(40:21):
because so many times we're likereally quick to cut people off
and judge people and be like no,I can't deal with you.
What if God did that to me?
You know what I'm saying.
Like I was like no, I'm donewith you because you made one
mistake or because you did thisand I don't agree with it.
So I start to look at peoplefor who they are, where they are
in their walk and in their lifeand in the season that they're
(40:41):
in, and be more mindful, becauseI've had my seasons.
I'm going to continue to havethem, you know.
So I think those two thingstherapy, yoga, journal well,
most of things therapy yoga,journaling and reading my Bible.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
How's the relationship with your parents?
Speaker 3 (40:59):
It's much better.
It's much better because when Iopened up about what I've been
saying, what I experienced in mychildhood, it definitely caused
a strain in my whole family andyou and I have discussed
offline about how, when youstart to open up about things
that you went through, it hurtsthe people that either did it to
(41:20):
you or it hurts the people thatare connected to those people
and it's like, well, we neverknew about this or why would you
bring that up.
And then you don't getaccountability and that hurts
like what.
People don't want to takeaccountability for their actions
.
But what I've learned is thatyour story is your story.
What you've been through iswhat you've been through, and
(41:42):
only you had to live that, soyou don't have to keep that to
yourself.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
I wanted to share something in regards to that,
because I have a book.
The book is actuallyRelationships Matter, but it's
the book and I had a booksigning in my hometown and my
dad and my mom.
They were married for a shorttime but my dad he stepped out,
he cheated and he had a childwith someone who was a friend of
(42:09):
my mom's and growing up thatwas like everybody knew in my
mind.
I mean almost to the pointwhere I felt like it's been so
many years ago, it's normal,like y'all know this.
And so I wrote about it in thebook because I talked about how
it shaped me as an adult notgrowing up, my dad raised me, I
(42:29):
went to live with him at the ageof 10, but just having that
experience and having knowledgeof that and I invited this lady
to the book signing because I,yes and my dad was there and I
grew up with my sister my sisterthat he had with her and I
guess while they were waitingfor me to come to the book
(42:50):
signing, they was reading thefirst few pages of the book and
I guess they saw what I spokeabout, that situation, and she
left and my dad said that mysister said to him why would she
invite my mom if she was goingto put that in the book?
I said, but that's that, that'swhat happened.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
We all know what happened.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
We all know what happened, y'all acting like that
didn't happen.
So I had like I still haven'tspoken to her.
So that's one of thoserelationships that I'm going to
have to, at a certain point, menhave that conversation.
I'm going to talk to my brother.
He said, well, it wasn't normalfor us and I'm saying it wasn't
cause to me it was.
(43:34):
You know what I'm saying, oreven just being transparent
about growing up and myrelationship with my mom and dad
, which I have a greatrelationship with both, but my
mom was young when she had me,even though she was married, she
was young and so she'll be likeoh my God, you said I was from
the street.
I told mama you we grew updifferently.
Yeah, she grew up in New Jersey,you know.
(43:55):
But then I'll say somethingnice.
She'll be like oh my God, youknow so that's all very
sensitive.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Yeah, you shine a light on imperfections and I
think a lot of us we hide behindthat.
You know and try to be perfectand we don't want people to know
those skeletons and I wantpeople to know, and so that
could definitely cause a wedgein the family.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
But I want to talk about your podcast, right, and
so keep it positive, sweetieRight.
And the premise is a safe spacefor women to love, heal and
grow.
Yes, right, what inspired youto start the podcast?
Speaker 2 (44:29):
She will answer that Right.
When we get back, relationshipsmatter.
The podcast.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Welcome back to relationships matter the podcast
.
So, crystal, talk to us aboutyour podcast.
Yeah, what inspired it?
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Honestly, it was a this is a funny story, so it was
a hater on Instagram.
I had a young lady comeorganize my closet and the young
lady said, instead of showingoff all your handbags and
clothes and shoes, maybe she gobuy some land or some property?
And I said, well, who's thetown on have all that?
(45:17):
I said what you need to see isthat I'm supporting another
young woman's business and notlooking at the things that have.
And I put hashtag keep itpositive, sweetie.
And my fans first drug herthrough the mud and then
everything after it was keep itpositive, sweetie.
Wow, and it was going to bejust a segment on the podcast,
but we ended up making it thename.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Wow, and then what about the premise?
A safe space for women who wantto love heal and grow the
premise.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
honestly, I wanted to create a safe space for women.
I did a sense of community sothat we have somewhere to go and
heal.
In the beginning I didn't knowif my voice mattered and after
that first episode I was likewhoa yeah like I didn't even
understand, like the communitythat had behind me and they made
(46:07):
me feel safe and in turn, weall feel safe and now we're
three seasons in healingtogether.
Wonderful, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
All right, josh go ahead.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Well, she knows what I'm looking like, this my first
question is and this ain't theone- but my first question is
have you created a safe spacefor you?
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Yes, I have yes.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
My second question is because the first time we got a
chance to meet, I asked youhave you forgiven yourself?
Now, being on the other side, Iwant to know have you
absolutely, without a doubt,forgiven others in your life?
Speaker 3 (46:54):
That is so good, Josh .
I'm getting there becausesometimes it's hard to forgive
and this is crazy because ourpastor just preached about it.
Sometimes you're not gonna getthe apology that you want, but
you've got to learn to forgiveyourself so that you can heal.
So I'm getting there.
(47:15):
I'm getting there, but I feellike if I don't hold any ill
will towards anyone, so in asense I'm on the forgiving path,
but I feel like there'd be moreof a sense of peace when I'm
fully forgiven and I'm not thereyet, Just still working on it,
(47:36):
I think, processing the lack ofaccountability, because
sometimes the little crystaljust wants an apology.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Is it more so that you want little crystal to get
that?
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Yeah, because that little girl and little boy never
leaves us.
We carry them with us forever.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
Will you hold on to that?
Speaker 3 (48:02):
Yeah.
So, Until I feel peace.
I'm working on it though.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
We all are.
But I ask because I know that'sa very big step for you because
, you freely told me, you forgetyourself.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
And I picked up on that and that was one of the
things that was burning, becauseI'm like, okay, what about?
Speaker 3 (48:26):
the other people, so good yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
And then based on that will you be able to fully
be crystal in your relationship.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
I believe, where I am now, having the awareness of
who I am and learning a lot ofthings, because when you put the
mirror to yourself, you reallystart to see like, oh, this is
what everyone else has beenexperiencing all these years.
You're blind to how you reallyare until you start talking to a
therapist and realize, oh, oh,my gosh, that would annoy me too
(49:06):
.
I think now I can fully bemyself.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
And I have more understanding and empathy for
people as well.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
So, since you can fully be yourself, then look at
me and talk to Crystal.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Wow Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
And I want you to lay it out on the line, because on
one end you said that you can beyou, but then there's something
that's holding you.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
So if you can talk to Crystal, I would tell Crystal
you are amazing.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
You are not with what you've been through.
You have overcome so much.
You are strong, you are anamazing friend, you have a big
heart, you put others first, youlove God and God sees you.
And to always remember that youare enough, that's what I would
(50:12):
tell myself.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
Absolutely, and since you just did pray on it, but I
think that try to make whateverefforts you need to forgive
those people in your life, myfather, for example.
You know I never played about mydad growing up but he has
(50:38):
caused, you know, a lot of painin my life and a lot of hurt and
I had to realize right, becauseyou spoke about people that
lack accountability, and he isone of those people, and one of
the biggest things that I coulddo is literally just say I love
you.
It's cool.
I ain't even expecting nothingelse for you Because you're
(51:01):
going to be you, but that ain'tgoing to stop me from going and
doing what I need to do, and I'mgoing to thank you because what
you didn't do for me and whatyou didn't give me allowed me to
be a better father and a betterperson, because I wanted to
make sure that I was never goingto be like you, you know.
So I can give a millionexamples, but there's something
(51:26):
that's burning inside of me,because I know you're saying
what you're saying and I fullybelieve you, but I really want
to encourage you to really takethat step sooner rather than
later, because you're going toflourish even more so you
already got coverings andblessings and everything else
over your life.
(51:46):
You're doing amazing things,right, you're touching a lot of
people, but stepping away fromwhat you do and starting with
self is so important that youtake the time and really, really
, really look whomever thosepeople are in the eyes or write
it out or whatever that processlooks like for you and let that
(52:08):
go, because I feel that you knowwhat I'm saying.
When I saw you the first time,I said I know pain when I see it
, I know and I feel that.
But even though you're in adifferent space in your life, I
still feel that right and I prayfor you.
I really hope that you're ableto let that go, because that's
going to be big for you.
I really do.
You know what I'm saying.
(52:28):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
I never see that.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
This is such a subtle .
Speaker 2 (52:33):
Like she is so good she's fighting it though,
because last time we you knowshe was prepared to go, but
she's good though Her story.
I mean, this is beautifulThings that you share.
I just think it's so importantthat people understand how hard
this is.
Speaker 3 (52:51):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
And the funny part is , even as adults, that, whatever
age, that that thing thathappened, that's what you see.
That comes out right Inrelationships, in friendships,
all of those things, because itkeeps people at a distance and
that's how we protect ourselves.
But as we grow, you know, andthe things that we want, we have
(53:14):
to be able to take that stepright.
Whether it's relationship orbusiness or whatever, there's
always going to be that onething that's like holding us and
then it's like God, but Godgoing to keep giving you that
same test until you figure thatthing out Absolutely.
You know what I mean and I knowyour heart is so big Like I can
feel the love.
Like seriously, like you knowthe work that you're doing, the
(53:36):
person that you've become.
You know you're an example forwomen.
You're doing work to create thespaces for women.
I mean I've never seen thiswoman light up, the way that
she's lit up, but she was soexcited to meet you, and
rightfully so.
You know what I mean.
Like you're just a beautifulperson with everything that
you're doing, not because of thesuccesses, but spiritually.
(53:58):
I feel you right, mentally,emotionally.
Those are the things that areimportant.
You know what I'm saying and Ihope that people get to see that
part to your heart and anybodyfor that matter, because a lot
of times we judge people basedon what they do, their platforms
and all of that.
But for you, like you said,like this is my purpose.
I chased this dream, I'machieving it and I want to be
(54:20):
better and do better.
But it's important that peoplesee you and I'm not speaking to
like another man, but I hopeyour family sees you, because
right now they got blinders on.
I hope some of your friends, ifthey don't see you and
appreciate you, that they removethe blinders as well.
You know what I mean, becauseenough of us deal with that
foolishness, man.
But I do pray for you heavilybecause you know that's
(54:43):
beautiful and everything thatyou're doing, and I hope that
you overcome that big hurdle,because that's your biggest one,
at least in my opinion,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (54:55):
All right, guys, that's our time, god, I hate to
end it, thank you.
So I mean everybody knows whereto find your crystal.
But just for the sake of it alllet everybody know where they
can find you on social media.
Speaker 3 (55:08):
Yeah, as you can find me on Instagram at
lovecrystalline.
That's L-U-V crystalline, andkeep it positive.
Sweetie is on Instagram as well, and that's sweetie with an I-E
All right.
Speaker 1 (55:19):
See you guys next time.
Relationship Spend at thePocket.
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