From Military Missions to Family Trials: A Journey of Resilience and Forgiveness

Become a Relative & send some love

What if the hardest battles you face are not on the battlefield but at home, within your own family? Walk with me through a narrative shaped by love, family values, and the unwavering call of duty. Raised by the guiding hands of my grandparents, I once dreamed of playing baseball for Norfolk State, only to have my path altered by the persistent encouragement of Marine Staff Sergeant Robinson. This pivotal choice led me to the Marine Corps, a decision forged in conversations with my parents, blending family legacy with personal ambition.

Experience the raw and unfiltered journey of transitioning to military life and the profound transformations that come with it. From the trials of boot camp at Parris Island to the camaraderie and heartache in Iraq, every chapter reveals a piece of my soul. The bonds formed, the lessons learned, and the emotional scars acquired in the heat of combat paint a vivid picture of resilience. Yet, upon returning home, the battle shifted to one of financial betrayal, a stark and painful reminder of vulnerability that left me grappling with anger and loss within my own family circle.

As life marched on, so did the challenges. From the unexpected end of my Marine Corps career to navigating the complexities of divorce and co-parenting, the journey taught me to prioritize personal peace, even amidst chaos. A turning point came with setting boundaries, embracing forgiveness, and finding new solace in podcasting. The support of loyal friends and my own growth paved the way to healing and self-discovery. Join me in exploring the intricate dance of maintaining relationships worth more than money, and the relentless pursuit of peace in a world that often tests the limits of our endurance.

Relationships Worth More Than Money by Tweezy Kennedy & Marcus Alland
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:14):
yeah, we back.
Happy new year.
Um, first and foremost, man,thank everybody that's been been
rocking with me and andrelationships worth more Than
Money podcast, from 2023, when Ifirst started it, to 2024 and
now 25.
Deuce Nicks but, yeah, man,this Air Force Army and I know

(00:52):
they might have went throughthis, but I know also a civilian
might have experienced thesesame things.
So I just want to start off offthe back.
I was raised off love.
Ok, johnny Cecil Kennedy,willie Esther Kennedy, my
grandparents on my dad's side,betty, sue Jordan, clyde Jordan,

(01:16):
on my mom's side, was alwaysraised off love.
God first and family.
Everything else that's whatevercomes with it when you build
your own family and things ofthat nature If you got hobbies,
jobs, whatever that you love,but them two God and family was
always prevalent and key to ourfamily.

(01:41):
But I hung more on my dad'sside of the family and I learned
a lot from my grandma, mygrandfather and my aunts and
uncles.
But I just want to start thisoff now by saying I was raised

(02:01):
off love.
Okay, that's how I know how tohandle things, but I'm just
going to get you the rundown onhow everything started with me
and why I'm starting this so youcan get the story from day one

(02:21):
of me in high school.
Of me in high school, uh, 2002to 2003,.
I was a senior at uh Osbornehigh school, seven mile East
side, um, if you know.
You know um, but my goal was togo play baseball at Norfolk

(02:41):
state.
I didn't get the chance to goto black colleges, black college
tours, like my brother did, Idon't know for what reason, I
don't know.
I didn't get to do a lot ofthings as the second child,
second baby, the boy from my mom.
My grades were great.

(03:04):
My grades were great, my gradeswere outstanding until the last
, like report card before Igraduated.
I was just caught senioritisreal quick.
But in that time around, like2003, I took the ASVAB and our
Army dude just kept hassling me.
He kept hassling me and Ididn't really like how he was

(03:27):
bothering me.
And much respect to the army, Ilove all the military branches,
so let's, let's start there.
But it was something about thearmy guy that just didn't sit
well with me and I rest in peaceto him because he ended up
passing away.
Just didn't sit well with meand I and rest in peace to him
Cause he ended up passing away.
Um, it's crazy.
Uh, he was actually the guythat got into it with proof um

(03:51):
from D12, if I'm not mistaken.
And um, he passed away um offon eight mile.
Um, but that's further.
That's, that's neither here northere.
Rest in peace to him.
But I was in one of my I thinkit was my co-op class.
It was a co-op, I think,because I had a 104, my senior

(04:14):
year, and my teacher.
It was a knock at the door andI couldn't really see because,
you know, our doors had thelittle slick glasses on the side
of each door.
So I couldn't really seebecause, you know, like our
doors had like the little slitglasses on the side of each door
, so I couldn't really tell whoit was.
But a guy asked to speak to melike yo, can I speak to Antoine
Kennedy?
And my teacher was like, yeah,go right ahead.

(04:36):
So I stepped outside.
It's a Marine, staff SergeantRobinson.
Never forget him.
Shout out to Staff SergeantRobinson, I forget him.
Shout out to Staff SergeantRobinson.
I'm pretty sure he retired as agunny or something higher, but
for sure Staff Sergeant Robinsonwas one of the coolest Marines
I ever met and he kept it cutand dry with me from day one.

(04:58):
So he was like, hey yo, what'sup?
Antoine, man, I know you're thecaptain on the baseball team, I
know you want to go to NorfolkState, but if nothing works out
for you, we would like to haveyou here at the Marine Corps in
the Marine Corps.
And I was like man, y'all thedudes that be fighting the
dragons.

(05:18):
He's like, man, that's just acommercial, he's like.
But we do get it in, but itain't no dragons.
He commercial, he's like, butwe do get it in, but it ain't no
dragons, he's like.
And it also depends on your job, your MOS.
And I was like, oh, okay, I waslike man, I'll take some
thought into it, you know.
Let me go back and talk to mymom, because I was always one of
the kids that I always tried tobring stuff up to my parents.

(05:39):
And previously, around 2001,2002, my dad always said you
either enroll or enlist.
And I'm like at the time Idon't understand, like, what do
you mean, enroll or enlist?
I can't do both.
I can't enroll in college andenlist in college.
What do you mean?
I never asked him that, but itdidn't make sense to me until

(06:02):
when a Marine recruiter came.
I'm like, oh, that's what hewas talking about.
You know your brain.
You know people always say malebrains mature slower than women
brains.
But yeah, I didn't catch on tothat.
So after I spoke with StaffSergeant Robinson, I came home,

(06:24):
talked to my mom Like mom, Ithink I want to look into the
Marines.
And she was looking at me likeboy know the F, you ain't Like
you can start cussing me out andstuff.
You ain't finna fight no whiteman's war.
And I'm like whoa, when didrace get into this?
Like I don't see no color, likewhat are you talking about?

(06:47):
But, mind you, her father, mygrandfather, clyde B Jordan.
Clyde Jordan was in the Navyand the Air Force and all his
kids were born wherever he wasstationed at in Texas, austin,
san Antonio.
You know what I'm saying.

(07:08):
Some of my aunts is from Texas,some of my aunts from Florida,
like wherever he was stationedat.
And he's from Pensacola.
My grandmother is fromPensacola, baker area, and it
didn't make sense to me.
And my grandfather on myfather's side was a World War II
veteran.
So I was kind of lost in thesauce.

(07:28):
I'm like why I was gettingcussed out.
So we I just go in my room, dowhatever I do when I I don't
know carried on the rest of myday of you know, after speaking
to my mom and she wasn'taccepting of it.
But in the back of my mind Iwas like yo, I'm joining.

(07:51):
So I started recruiting myhomies.
You can ask anybody.
You can ask Chris, chris Love,he in the Air Force right now.
You can ask Marcus Jackson, youcan ask Pierre, you can ask
Ruel, you can ask MarcusWinfield, you can ask Justin
Goffin, you can ask JustinJackson.
All the homies.

(08:12):
For real, I was really Miguel.
I was trying to recruit all ofus from the hood, from the eight
.
Like you know, we was from theeight.
So you know what I'm saying.
They like nah, bro, keith,keith High, rest in peace to
Keith High.
I was trying to recruit them.
You know what I'm saying.
They're like nah, bro, keithHigh, rest in peace to Keith
High.
I was trying to recruit them.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm like bro, let's go.
Like this joint is going to bedope if we all go, but it's a

(08:37):
few considered I ain't going tolie C-Love, c-love definitely
considered.
But him and Mark Jack, theywere going to do the police
force and they ended up doingthat.
And then I think somethinghappened and C-Love ended up
going to the Air Force and MarkJack ended up still fighting
through and getting to becominga police officer.

(09:00):
But for me, marcus Winfield bro,best friend and Justin Goffin,
we all was like yo, let's do it.
So you know, staff SergeantRobinson came.
I brought Staff SergeantRobinson to introduce him to
Justin and his mom she was onboard Took him over to Marcus'

(09:21):
mom and dad house.
They were on board.
So I'm like boom, I got my twopeople, I can get promoted If
you know.
You know you get two people inwith you.
You become a private firstclass PFC instead of a private
out the gate.
So you're getting paid a littlebit more.
You know what I'm saying outthe gate versus being a private.
So you got a little extrapromotion.

(09:43):
So I'm already thinking fast on, like you know, people who to
get.
And it was just like I justwanted to get my homies out the
hood, cause I knew me personallylike, um, the way that, the way
it was going, I ain't see usmaking it out.
So, um, both, both of them wason board.
My mom still wasn't on board.

(10:06):
So I told Staff SergeantRobinson hey, man, when I turn
18, I'm coming to sign thempapers.
So I kept my word.
You know, I just had my seniorsummer party, had fun, and as
soon as September 19th came,2003, I signed them papers and

(10:28):
know I'm hype, you know I'mready.
I'm like, hey, got my date, I'mleaving january.
We all leaving january 6th, Ibelieve, january 5th, january 6,
2004.
That I'm ready.
You know I'm saying'm saying wewas just prepping, prepping in
the pool function, in the poolman, just, you know, meeting new

(10:51):
people that was joining with usfrom the recruiting station on
Nine Mile.
It's not even there, no more,right by East Detroit, if you
know.
You know, but yeah, I'mprepping In my mind.
I already know I'm going to theMarines, ain't nothing.
Nobody can tell me.
So, yeah, we ready to goJanuary come.

(11:20):
Oh, I come back from taking thesigning my papers and stuff.
I tell my mom like mom, I'mjoining the Marines, I leave
January 2004.
She's like no, you not, youain't joining nothing.
I'm like I already signed thepapers.
She's like what, go to yourroom, you on punishment.

(11:41):
I'm like yo, punishment, I'm 18, yo, punishment, I'm 18.
What are you talking about?
She's like you live in my house, you on punishment.
So I called my brother up.
I said yo, bro, come get me.
Man, that's Dot Trip, that'swhat we call her mom.
Right, he picked me up.
I swindled my way out of beingon punishment because I just

(12:05):
stayed with him.
Mind you, my whole 2003 year Iwas pretty much on my own when
it came to like everything,everything Outside of like
pictures, senior pictures my mompaid for.

(12:29):
I was on my own, like fixing myfood and stuff like that,
working and so yeah.
So when I graduated, my mom Igot a job.
She started charging me rentand I'm just like man, this is
crazy.
I should have left.

(12:51):
Now.
What is going on?
Why am I getting charged rent?
And every time I got paid I hadto pay her a portion of it.
So I didn't like it, and so youknow, I just couldn't wait till
the day January 2004 came.

(13:16):
After January came, I left, wentto the Marine Corps.
Mind you, I got all my notesright here, so I'm just going
over it.
So I don't want y'all thinkingI'm just looking over.
What is he looking at over here?
Got my iPad over here, but yeah, so January 2004,.
Boom, I'm on a plane, neverflew a plane.

(13:38):
I'm going to Parris Island,south Carolina, becoming a
Marine Journalist, tried to geton a bus, started yelling at us
Three months with 100 otherindividuals who became brothers
and the sad part was I wassupposed to be a con wireman and

(14:02):
I was already ready to go forJanuary 6th.
So me and Marcus was wiremen andJustin, I believe, was a combat
engineer.
Our paperwork got messed up forthe wiremen.
So I said yo, staff Sergeant,what do I got to do to still
keep my date?
Because I ain't trying to getpushed back.
Pause, I ain't trying to getpushed back on the date.

(14:24):
He was like man.
The only way you can do that isif you go open contract.
So I said what's that?
He's like man.
You're like a free agent to theMarine Corps and wherever they
see fit they see you better at,they're going to put you into
that job so you can be any ofthe 300 and something jobs in
the Marine Corps.
I said, cool, bet, let me dothat.

(14:45):
He's like all right, sign here,sign there.
I end up leaving Me and Justinend up leaving.
Marcus left a week later.
So now we're not on the buddysystem like we was supposed to
be and I didn't get my PFCbecause Justin had signed up
before I did my PFC, becauseJustin had signed up before I

(15:07):
did so I only had a halfpromotion-like certificate that
they gave me, which didn't meannothing because I didn't become
a PFC until six months later.
So we get to boot camp, me andJustin, boom, me and Justin
thugging it out, swim call firstmonth, learning how to march,
learning to drill.
Second month we get to therifle range, rifle range come.

(15:35):
We actually training with womennow.
So now we like dang these women, like damn, that's what they
look like.
Of course, you know ourdrilling structures is putting
all the negative stuff in ourhead, like they're, they're
nasty, they don't wash up, andI'm sure the women feet, uh,

(15:56):
women, uh, drilling structuresdo the same thing.
But uh, my boy, justin, tried tobe slick in a child hall hall
one day and I don't know, Iguess because we was on a range
and we was pulling pits andstuff like that with the female
Marines, he decided to try toone-up and drop his number not

(16:17):
even his number, drop his bootcap address on a napkin when we
was leaving out the chow halland the women were coming in and
the female drill instructor,seeing he dropped some trash and
you know how drill instructorsare about cleanliness she picked
it up like hey, recruit, youdropped your trash.

(16:37):
And when she picked it up itlike opened.
She said oh this what we doing?
Man, my boy, justin, got smokedon that quarter deck.
I ain't never seen a quarterdeck steam like the windows was
steaming.
But later on that week, justinI'm sure he not going to be mad

(17:01):
at me for telling him this, butJustin, we was at the firing
line and every time you get offthe firing line you're supposed
to condition, you're supposed toshow clear.
Pretty much condition four showclear, pull the magazine out,
rack the M16 back, make sure youdon't have no round in the
chamber, and whatever round ifit pops out, put that round back

(17:23):
in your magazine, but make surethat your weapon on safe
ejection port cover closed.
All of that right Still in me,right?
But yeah, he walked off theline with a loaded rifle and
nobody cleared him.
So when I look back at it, thatwas the coach's fault.

(17:46):
You know what I'm saying.
But he ended up getting kickedout of our platoon for that and
so now I'm in boot camp bymyself, finishing up boot camp
for the last month and a half.
I graduate proud.
Staff Sergeant Shell.
Staff Sergeant Lauer.
Staff Sergeant McNeil.

(18:07):
Those are my drill instructors.
Senior drill instructor McNeilStaff Sergeant McNeil.
Staff Sergeant Lauer.
Staff Sergeant Shell.
It's crazy, crazy.
I ended up running into them inIraq in 2005.
So now, boom, we get to thegraduation.
Who's there?
Mom and dad.

(18:27):
Now, me and my dad didn't have agreat relationship my senior
year because we had to throwhands.
And the reason we had to throwhands is because as a child and

(18:51):
as a child, there was a lot ofdomestic abuse from my mom and
my dad against each other.
So I was at a boiling pointHigh school.
You know, of course, you knowyou're feeling yourself, but at
the same time I was just tiredof him, like you know, hitting
my mom and doing whatever hewanted to do, and we fought, we

(19:16):
fought.
I ended up getting my car takenaway because he had got me my
car.
My senior year, got myletterman check taken away
because he bought that too andwe ain't taught he ain't come to
my graduation.
So, uh, me being a biggerperson in boot camp, you know, I

(19:38):
wrote him, I wrote my dad justto let him know, like, like, hey
, you know what I mean, yourbaby boy doing his thing, and I

(20:00):
know we had our differences butI'm trying to push past that.
So me and my dad became bestfriends since since graduation
Cause he, he, wrote back and mymom, mind you, my mom is this
Marine mom Now.
She got all the stickers, shegot all the everything.
If you seen her car, she usedto drive a Grand Prix, a gold

(20:22):
Grand Prix, and she had MarineMom on every something.
Marine, this my son's a UnitedStates Marine, marine, marine,
Marine, marine, marine, marine.
And I'm looking like yo, youwasn't like that before I left.
You know what I mean.
So you know.

(20:44):
Now it's back to.
I'm back home.
Um, my mom uh, had moved mygrandfather in when, uh, when, I
was gone.
So, like my bed, ain't even mybed no more, so I can't even
sleep in my own bed.
Um, my brother room ain't even.

(21:06):
I don't even sleep in my ownbed, my brother room, I don't
even think the bed was in.
No, it wasn't in there becausehe took his bed when he moved
downtown.
So I'm at home, I'm enjoyinglife, I'm just happy man.
I'm seeing my cousins, me, book, ro Quez, k-ken, we all you
know the boys like, we all likehanging out.

(21:28):
I think we went to like abusiness gang.
I'm just happy to be home.
Then, you know, you go to MCT,which is Marine Combat Training,
for 30 days after that in NorthCarolina.
Then my MOS was 3531, motorTransport Operator.
So I went to Fort Lost in thewoods, fort Leonard Wood,
missouri, right after Igraduated MCT and from there I

(21:54):
got stationed in California withmy best friend, kadeem.
Mind you, me and Kadeem met atboot camp.
He was in lead series, I was infollow series and we've been
tight since then.
So we get to California, butthen that's when we split.
He goes to 33 area, campMargarita, I go to 21 area, camp

(22:16):
Del Mar.
Camp Del Mar is the beach Onceyou come through the front gate.
So I'm loving it.
I'm at third tracks.
Third tracks yeah, yes, I'mthrough the front gate.
So I'm loving it.
I'm at third tracks.
Third tracks, yeah, yes, I'menjoying life.
I'm on my own.
I'm 18.
I got a T-top Cutlass on 20s.
It's 2004.

(22:38):
I'm loving life.
I'm living life.
I'm learning how to be an adult.
I mean, we cleaning everyThursday.
Field day was always Thursdays,but I'm learning how to be an
adult.
I mean, we clean it everyThursday.
Field day was always Thursdays,but I'm doing my thing, I'm
having fun.
2005 come Well, october 2004,.
We got the call that, hey, firsttruck company is getting ready

(23:04):
to go to Iraq and they need afew more Marines from different
motor T units.
So I'm like, bet I'll go, meand Joseph, corporal Joseph,
shout out to Joseph, if youstill alive, man, I don't know,
I know you from Bakersfield,california.
I'm pretty sure you are, and Iknow you're Bakersfield

(23:25):
California, I'm pretty sure youare.
And I know you're a cop.
Now too.
Shout out to you, Me andCorporal Joseph, go and we
attach to truck company.
Guess who at truck company, thedean, best friend, my brother.
We back at it again.
So we at it, man, we training,we getting ready to go to Iraq.

(23:47):
Boom, now I know I'm super, I'mgood, but mind you, the few.
That helped me go to the MarineCorps was September 11th 2001.
I was in my global issues class, which is like social, it's a
social studies class for 11thgraders, and I thought my

(24:11):
teacher, ms Diabru, was watchinga movie and I walked in.
I'm like Ms Diabru, what's Ms Dthat's how I used to call her,
ms D what movie is this?
She's like, baby, this ain't nomovie.
I said what you mean.
She's like.
This is going on right now inNew York Like somebody hijacked
a plane and ran it betweentowers.

(24:32):
So, being that my grandparentswere veterans, I got a bunch of
family members, cousins, uncles,that was in any other service,
the branches of the service, andI think I was the first Marine,
if I'm not mistaken, but allthe other ones they were in, and

(24:54):
I took that to heart, eventhough I still wanted to go to
Norfolk State, even though Istill wanted to, you know,
pursue baseball, becausebaseball is my heart.
I love football too, but whenmy grandma passed my grandma on
my dad's side, I just lost thelove for it.

(25:17):
It used to like make me feel somuch great and good inside that
she would come to a game andshe would root me on, because we
all played Police AthleticLeague in Detroit Eastside
Raiders when we were growing upand I played for Osborne JV.

(25:37):
Then after that I just stopped,but baseball stayed with me.
I stayed with baseball.
I was on the swim team, all ofthat.
So, yeah, that drove me tobecome a Marine as well.
That was always on the back ofmy mind because I didn't like
how that happened.
So then we get to Iraq.

(25:58):
Get to Iraq man flying thereamazing.
To Iraq.
Get to Iraq man Flying thereAmazing.
Let me tell you we was on likea 777, 777, 1 to 747.
It was a 777.
This joint got two floors.
It got four seats on the right,I think it was like eight in

(26:21):
the middle, four on the left,bunch of TVs, we could watch
movies and stuff.
Like it was crazy.
So you know, we stopped inIreland.
You know I'm like wow, likethis is crazy.
We get to Kuwait and we had tofly C-130s to Iraq.

(26:42):
We in Iraq, we in the plane toC-130s to Iraq, we in Iraq, we
in the plane, the C-130, and wedoing combat roles.
And I'm like why we?
Why we, upside down and comingback around, they're like they
shooting at us and I'm like whoshooting at us?

(27:03):
You know it still ain't hittingme.
We land safely and we go to ourunit.
We hop in the trucks, we rip toour location, which was Ramadi.
We get to Ramadi, we're withthe truck company we was with
Was thatadi.

(27:23):
We were with the truck companywe was with.
Was that 1-5?
We was with 5th Marines.
Yeah, we was with 5th Marines,1-5, I believe.
Correct me if I'm wrong, butfor sure it was 1-5.
That's who we was with, 5thMarines, because the second time
I deployed was 1st Marines.
So yeah, we were 5th Marines,man the grunts.

(27:46):
So you know, we in the thick ofthings, we get there, we just
hearing like a bunch ofexplosions and I'm not
understanding where it's comingfrom.
Come to find out it was a burn.
Looked like a dirt hill andArmy artillery was on the other
side shooting into the citybecause they were dropping

(28:10):
mortars in our camp.
And next thing, you know, I seea big old mushroom cloud.
Like what is that?
I felt the ground trembling andI just hear a loud explosion,
boom.
I'm like oh, they got me.
No, they didn't get me, but itwas a IED Blew up, maybe, maybe,

(28:44):
I would say 500 meters outsideour camp gates, and it's still,
mind you.
No, it was about a couple milesaway and it shook the ground.
And then everybody looked ateach other and it shook the
ground.
And then everybody looked ateach other and one of the

(29:05):
Marines that we were replacing.
He was like welcome to Iraq.
I'm like, oh ooh.
So yeah, we in it, we in thethick of it, we in the thick of
it.
When I tell you Ramadi me,coming from Detroit, I thought I
seen it all.

(29:26):
Ramadi was crazy.
I can't count on my hands, mytoes, Kadeem's hands and toes
and a bunch of other Marines'hands and toes on how many
Marines we lost in total.
I've seen COs commandingofficers get blown up.

(29:52):
I've seen fellow Marines, lanceCorporals that were, you know,
infantrymen.
We had a basketball court.
I was on Hurricane Point.
Kadeem, I believe, was withBravo.
I was with Alpha Company,kadeem was with Bravo, and we
had some people from Charlie andthat was Charlie Company, I

(30:13):
think.
Co and Company First Sergeantgot blown up, coming out their
gate and we stayed across thestreet from Hurricane Point, I
mean from Snake Pit.
That was the name of Charlie.
Charlie was at Snake Pit.
We was at Hurricane Point.
Bravo was still on base on CampRamadi.

(30:33):
Then we had combat outposts allthroughout the city.
But the thing that I lovedabout it not love, but it made
us feel like home because allthe streets on the map was named
after college teams or states.
So of course, you had Wolverine, you had Michigan.

(30:55):
Michigan was the main streetthat came straight into
Hurricane Point and that SnakePit was on the side of too.
But you had Buckeye, you hadBadger, you had Hawkeye.
All these streets was namedafter Big Ten schools, sec
schools, and it made us feelcomfortable with learning the

(31:17):
areas.
But what I'm saying is, everyday we were in combat, when I
was with alpha company, um, Ican recall an ambush.
It was a simple hey, we're gonnago down michigan, we're gonna
go to the soup.
The soup was like themarketplace that all the arabic

(31:41):
people, the Iraqis, lived andthey sold fruit, vegetables,
goats, chickens, anything youcould think of.
It was like, for instance, likeI live, I'm out here in
Maryland, but I'm right by DC,like Eastern Market or you know
what I mean.
It was like that.
So it was hey, we're going todrive in, we're going to offload

(32:03):
the Marines.
Kennedy, which is me, I believeRoss, was with us.
We had four seven-tons, fourseven-tons, and the goal was we
drive in, we come up, we do aU-turn on Michigan, and it was
like two Hummers in front of usand two Hummers behind us, but

(32:28):
it was four, seven tons.
So they were like, hey, we'regoing to pull into the suit and
we're going to back out.
Now, mind you, the seven tonscouldn't fit in the suit and the
streets because they were sotight and they had, like, I
guess, like, like I don't knowwhat it was, like rugs or
something Like, yeah, like thesesheets hanging over and wires

(32:49):
were so low.
We started to put like these,these poles, these PVC pipes on
our seven tons so it won't getconnected to our trucks, right,
and we will let the wires goover and so it won't like get
stuck on our, our trucks.
And then now we didn't knockout their power and now we got
to pay for that.
You know what I mean.

(33:10):
So the first two trucks pulledin, um, which was me and I want
to say it was from Motor T wepulled in, and the other two
trucks, seven tons, pulled in.
So now it's four or seven tonsin the tight like marketplace

(33:35):
street and they were like yo,all right, the first two go
ahead and back out.
So the first seven ton, thefourth seven ton, in the rear,
backed out back onto Michigan.
They already had rear securityfrom that angle from that way,
because it was two Hummers backthere with Mark 19s and two 40s
on them.
So, matter of fact, it was Rossand me.

(33:57):
So we backed out.
We were the third and fourth7-ton.
We backed out and the other two7-tons, were still in the
street, like in the road, butthey were inside, they were
covered.
So we back out.
All I hear is like it sound likeI don't know if you remember
like them poppers from fireworkswhere you throw it on the

(34:19):
ground, the little white things,and be like pap, pap, pap, pap,
pap.
That's what it was soundinglike and I'm like yo, what the
hell?
Now all I hear on the on thecomms is yo, we, yo, yo, we get
ambushed, we get ambushed and welike yo, where, where?
I don't see where.
And all I hear is so I see hallshout out to corporal hall.

(34:46):
He was uh, a gunner and ahummer and he was right in front
of me when we backed out.
So he, he's uh shooting.
I see him shooting differentareas that we get ambushed from
all over.
We in the build it's buildings.
They are all the insurgents inthe buildings.
So I see one.
You know, I grabbed my, my uhm16, and started aiming.
I had loaded my rifle with abunch of tracers so I could show
them.
Hey, I got guys right here.

(35:08):
So I told Corporal Hart likeCorporal Hart, turn your turret
this way, follow my tracers.
So next thing you know I'mshooting at the sergeant.
He's shooting a Mark 19.
Blowing the whole like holesinto the building.
Right, while all of this isgoing on, I had a gunner too in

(35:29):
my car, in my truck, and I lookback I see I see this surgeon
like trying to creep up and likepretty much, if we would have
let him he would have crept upto the truck, open the door and
shot both of us.
But I'm like yo, yo, yo.
I'm hitting his leg, like yo,behind us, behind us, right here

(35:51):
, and I'm.
He turns around.
He turns the turret around.
He gets to shoot his saw.
He had a saw and it jams.
He like yo, he grabbed hispistol, it fallsams.
He's like yo, he grabbed hispistol, it falls.
And now, mind you, he'sstanding on it.
He's on it like a stand.
I'm in my truck, he's in thisstand right here.
His feet is right here.

(36:11):
I see the 9mm drop down.
I grab the 9mm, throw it backup to him.
He puts about five to sevenrounds into the guy.
He's down, we're all goingthrough it.
And while we still in the midstof it, you know what I mean we
still understanding the comms.
So they're like, hey, push back, push those two trucks back to

(36:34):
the government center.
So we pushed back to thegovernment center.
The other two guys got out.
That's just one story.
Nobody got hurt that time.
But every day it was chaos.
Marines work well in chaos.
When it's quiet, something'sabout to happen.

(36:57):
When it's quiet, something'sabout to happen.
So when you got kids, it's thesame thing.
When it's quiet, them kidsdoing something.
Hey, what y'all doing overthere?
You know what I'm saying.
That's how it is with us.
Like it was quiet, it was superquiet.

(37:17):
And what I remember, when I gotback to the government center I
was so hyped I'm like, yeah, wegot them, not knowing Days
later we lose some more Marinesand it became a constant thing

(37:39):
Seeing Marines and insurgents,brains over the car seat,
backseat from them, trying torun their car into our building,
which one car drove into our uh, combat outpost set off a
vehicle born IED, which is aimprovised explosive device.

(38:00):
So it was a vehicle-borneimprovised explosive device, the
tanker too.
So me, to this day I still haveanxiety when I drive next to
tank fuel trucks because that'swhat it was, it was a tanker.
To this day, I'm saying all ofthat to say this I had a lot of

(38:23):
trauma that first deployment andI didn't know it until I came
back.
I was very angry, I was veryanxious, but the whole time
there I was just happy that Istill had the dean with me and

(38:45):
the rest of the homies fromtruck company with us, but one
of them had to go back becausehe did get hit with an IED.
And one instance with me I wasriding with a sergeant and our
goal is, when we drive andalways stay on the concrete

(39:05):
roads, if you go on a dirt road,stay behind the same tracks as
the vehicle in front of you.
And I remember my sergeanttelling me to swerve, follow
that vehicle in front of you.
I'm like yo, sergeant, you sureLike we on a dirt road because
we had to go through a back way.
We were doing a mission.
And he was like, yeah, justfollow him, just follow him and

(39:26):
follow him.
And I literally swerved left,swerved right, but I didn't
swerve all the way right likethe vehicle in front of me did,
and I just swerved just a littlebit and literally just
corrected myself and followedthe vehicle in front of me.
And once I followed the vehiclein front of me, I hear a loud
explosion, boom, my ear ringing,and I'm I like just froze and

(39:52):
stopped, like the vehicle justrolling, I'm thinking I got hit.
Everybody's on the comm like yo, I'm hit, I'm hit, I'm hit, and
I'm like I'm hit, I'm hit, andI'm like Sergeant ain't hit Our
gunner, he saying he got hit,but the vehicle behind us got

(40:17):
hit because he went too far left, I mean too far right.
So, yeah, mind you, this wholetime I am checking back home,
you know, checking on family,this one, we had calling cards.
We didn't have the satellitephones or nothing like that.
So my dad was the powerattorney of my car, my mom was

(40:48):
the power attorney of my uh,finances, everything, and me not
knowing, because we navy fedwas just starting, online
banking usa was just starting,like online banking was just
starting.
In 2005, I gave my mom my whole, my whole wallet and the reason
why I made her my power ofattorney is because, for one, my

(41:09):
mom, both of my parents, gotdegrees in business, but my mom
had just got her master's degree, an MBA, in business
administration.
So I'm like, all right, cooladministration.
So I'm like all right, cool, tokeep them from arguing or
bickering about whatever, I'mgoing to give both of y'all some

(41:31):
kind of special attorney, right?
So I gave my dad a specialpower of attorney, I gave my mom
a power of attorney general,everything pretty much.
So I'm like, hey, ma, like howI'm doing, like you know how the
money looking?
She's like don't worry aboutnone of that.
Like Just focus on yourself andfocus on getting back here.
So I'm like all right, cool,how's everything?
You know what I mean.
You need anything.
She's like no, I'm straight,cool Pops, how'd I whip, whip,

(41:55):
good, you're good, you're goingto be straight storage, not
knowing.
I could have just put it intothe Marine Corps storage and I
wouldn't have had to pay, but mypops was paying every month on
my car storage for seven months.

(42:15):
Um, now, mind you, we haddispersion over there.
So anything that I need to grabcash or something I can grab
from dispersion.
And when we was over there, wewas getting paid pretty good,
especially for TFCs and LanceCorp.
We was getting paid good and ifyou was married.
You was really getting paid,but I wasn't.
So you know, deployment ended.

(42:36):
You know I'm ready to come backhome.
I'm hyped.
You know they do parades whenyou come back home.
So you know they got themotorcycles like a bunch of
Harleys, guiding us back on thebuses when we flew back in.
We stopped at Germany first,then on our way back to the
States.
You know, we get to Cali andboom, the Harleys driving us the

(43:01):
whole way in on the buses orwhatever we hype.
You know I'm hype.
I'm like yo, me and Kadeem.
I'm thinking like yo.
I already know what I'm aboutto do to the whip.
I'm about to throw some doughson it.
I'm about to throw foes on it.
You know what I'm saying.
But I get to the parade.
You know I'm trying to look formy family.
All I see is my dad and mysister.

(43:26):
I'm like Pops, where my mom at.
She's like man, I don't know.
She's been tripping lately.
I'm like that's strange.
But anyway, hey, let's have fun.
I'm back.
You know what I mean.
My little sister, I think shewas like Kaylin, was like if I
was 19,.
Kaylin was 14.
So she was in high school.

(43:46):
So I wanted to, you know, takeher to the mall, get her some
clothes.
You know what I'm saying.
Get her nice.
You know what I mean.
Get her set up.
I wanted to pull out like athousand.
So I went to Navy Federal and Isaid yo, let me get a thousand
out.
The teller looked at me Likeboy please.
I said look.

(44:07):
I said look, I just got backfrom Iraq, man, you know I'm
talking about Detroit.
Look, you know popping my.
You know what.
Like yo, let me get a thousandout.
Stop playing here.
Here go my access number.
I don't got my ID.
I don't got my cards.
Like my mom got my cards.
I don't got nothing.
Can I get a new car?
She's like yeah, we can get youa new car.

(44:28):
But she was like sir you?
She's like are you AntoineKennedy?
I said yes.
She's like do you stay at 14063Collingham, detroit, michigan,
48205?
I said yes.
She said that is your home ofresidence, right?
I said home of rec.
I said yes.
She said, sir, you have $100and something dollars in this

(44:53):
account, $200 and somethingdollars in this account, a total
of $424 something dollars.
I'm like yo, you tripping.
I know I got some racks up inthere, man, what are you talking
about?
Mind you, my dad and my sisterin the car, so they don't even
know what's going on.
So she was like hold on, sir,she's just scrolling, scrolling,
scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.

(45:14):
She said, sir, I do see a lotof withdrawals, like were you
withdrawn?
I said, ma'am, I don't have mycar, how am I going to withdraw
anything?
She said well, no, thewithdrawals are in Detroit.
I see a lot of withdrawals fromyour account every day,

(45:34):
multiple times a day, and that'swhen it hit me.
So I go back to the car, so Igo back to the car.
Everything I can think of fromthose seven months of deployment
, getting shot at, vehicleblowing up, and not to mention I

(45:58):
tipped over a truck from sleep,deprivation of driving for over
24 hours straight.
I'm thinking about all thesethings, I'm crying in the car.
My dad like yo, twan, what's up?
Like, what's going on?
And I'm like yo, she spent myfucking money.
And he was like what?
Like yo, what?
I'm cussing man, yo littlesister in the back.

(46:21):
I said no, fuck that, startcalling, calling her.
I said yo, you spend my fuckingmoney.
She said watch who you talkingto.
I'm your mama.
I said I don't give a fuck whoyou are.
I'm about to treat you like anigga on the street cause you

(46:44):
just treated me like a nigga onthe street.
I don't like you spend my moneylike I've been through a lot of
shit, like I don't have nothing.
I have nothing in my account andthat $400 that I had to take
out, that was to get my car outthe storage cause my dad didn't
pay the final month's rent, sothat $400 was gone.

(47:04):
So now I'm down to zero dollarsand I had nothing.
Zero.
I'm going off on my mom Crying,going off on my mom Crying,

(47:25):
going off on her.
Everything I got Gone.
I just got a cutlass T-topcutlass.
No gas, no clothes, no shoes,no food.
Good thing that when you are inthe military you get free food

(47:47):
if you're not married with yourmeal card.
So chow hall always.
You can always eat.
But the whole time in my mindI'm like yo, how could she do
this?
How could she do this?
So I called my grandma becauseif she spent my money I was like

(48:13):
I put two and two together.
I said she was like I do see alot of transactions.
The lady the teller.
She said I do see a lot oftransactions and there some of
them are at the casino, mgmCasino.
So I called my grandma.

(48:35):
I said Grandma.
I said you know my mom, spendmy money.
She go what.
I said, yeah, y' spent my money.
She goes what.
I said, yeah, y'all was goingto the casino a lot.
She said yeah.
I said yeah, she was using mymoney for y'all to go to the
casino.
And I said, grandma, how youlet your daughter do this to

(49:02):
your grandson?
She said, baby, that ain't gotnothing to do between me and you
, that's between you and her.
When my grandma said that, Ipiped down Trying to pop off on
my grandma.
But she was right, it hadnothing to do with my grandma,

(49:26):
me and my mom.
So now when you come home fromthe Marine Corps, you get at
least 30 days of R&R, meaningjust pretty much free vacation
to go anywhere and decompressfrom what you dealt with.
Um, and they also had me signedup for um, ptsd classes, trauma

(49:54):
classes, different classes.
They had the Marine Corps, allthe branches, I believe do, I
know for sure Marine Corps doesit.
So I had all these classessigned up for me when I got back
off my 30-day vacation but my30-day vacation.
Guess where I'm at?
I'm back home at my mama'shouse with no place to sleep,

(50:15):
because my grandfather lives inmy room.
Now there's no bed in mybrother's room and I just got a
couch with no money.
So now I'm back home with myhomies.
They're like yo, how was Iraq?
How was this?

(50:35):
You shoot anybody?
You know the typical civilianhomie questions.
You kill somebody, you know,and all of this.
They're asking me this.
I'm still traumatized, like I'mstill going through it.
So, yeah, I'm there, no money, Igo back home for those 30 days.

(51:05):
I remember going to my UncleKeef house it's a picture and I
wasn't happy.
And I know, auntie Paula, Iknow you didn't mean no harm by
it, but everybody knew.
Because my dad told my side ofthe family what happened.

(51:26):
My brother was crushed.
He stopped talking to her for awhile.
The messed up part is it's likeI had to drive her car the
whole 30 days.
I was home and I used to haveto pick her up from work and

(51:47):
take her to work, because shegave me her car to do whatever I
needed to do, but what I wasgoing to do with no money.
So, uh, I leave, fly back toCali.
I go to the classes.
Um, one of the classes I walkedout of because it was like one

(52:10):
of those classes where they belike.
I want you to look out thewindow and see whatever the
first thing you see.
I want you to visualize that.
Close your eyes and visualizethat and take it to a safe space
with you and da-da-da-da-da,guess what's outside the window
at this class?
A big blue trash can.

(52:32):
But now I'm heated, I walk outof the class.
I want to kill everything.
I want to kill everything.

(52:57):
I struggled with PTSD for a longtime.
Then I met Benita.
We was in the Marines together.
Basketball was my outlet onbase.
Of course we played othersports, but I knew for sure at
lunch I can play ball after work, 5 o'clock, we gonna get some
bump.
Any area, it didn't matter Iwas at 21 area, we gonna get

(53:20):
some bump.
Main side, any area, las Pogas,any area I knew I can go to and
get bumped.
So I stayed in Del Mar and Iplayed ball, me and Benita
hanging out, we cooling, wechilling.
We became friends and she couldplay ball.

(53:41):
She played for the Marine Corpswomen's basketball team, the
team for the women.
She was she, can she?
She was nice, she can shoot,but I used to like hook her to
the hole.
I was always a.
I was a point guard.
I didn't really have a jumpshot, but I'd take it to the
hole every day.
Easy on you and I was fast.
But yeah, we hanging out, 2005ends Still ain't got no money.

(54:13):
I'm just basically livingpaycheck to paycheck.
First and 15th in the military.
Seven months later after I left, I left home I get a letter
from my mom with a $4,000 checkon it in it.
With a letter, the $4,000 Ipretty much paid off my car with

(54:33):
my old school was only like itwas like $4,600, and I already
had paid some of it down everytime I got paid, my first and
15th.
I read the letter and theletter she pretty much said

(54:59):
there was no apology.
It was just like hey, how youdoing?
Da-da-da, da, da.
And here's a I hope you see thecheck that I put in here for
$4,000 or whatever, but thereason why I spent your money,
because I didn't think he wasgoing to make it back.

(55:27):
Anger Boiling, I want to killeverything.
I want to kill everything.
I couldn't believe she saidthat my own flesh and blood,

(55:52):
wrote me off.
Hmm, I called my dad, told himwhat she said, called my brother
, told him what she said.
Everybody crushed.

(56:16):
Since that day, may 2006, Istopped speaking to my mom,
wrote her off, said hey, shewrote me off, she thought I was
gonna be dead.
But the thing is is she spent$13,000 for my money, probably
like 10, cause I spent 3 forsure over there, but I made like

(56:36):
15.
It was something like I know Imade 15 over there, tax free,
but she spent all that money.
And my thing is, if shewould've spent the money on,
like, fixing up the house overthere tax-free, but she spent
all that money.
And my thing is, if she wouldhave spent the money on fixing
up the house, doing somethingaround the house to where I know
I got somewhere to come back to, or put my name on the house,

(56:56):
to where I can have the housewhen anything happened, I'd have
been fine.
I'd have been upset, but thewound would have been a little
bit less than what she said,because that's something that I
couldn't give back.
I was always told to keepnegative people out your life,

(57:16):
no matter who they are.
So that's what I did, becausethat was a negative virus that I
felt like would have put me ina different position I am now.
I wouldn't be here todaybecause I know I'd be locked up

(57:37):
for what I would have done.
2015 came, mind you, I'm I'm 11years in the Marine Corps.
I didn't do recruiting duty, Ididn't have the time.
I got back to.
I got stationed back to firstTSB.
I'm thinking I'm going to shoein to get promoted.

(58:01):
I get to TSB.
I'm thinking I'm going to shoein and get promoted.
I get to TSB.
They didn't even know I wassupposed to be there and they
was like man, that's anothersergeant, I think it was like 10
sergeants there and I was thesenior sergeant.
Only sergeant had been deployedtwice.

(58:23):
I had.
I had I had status, but Ididn't care about that because I
always cared about the Marinesand the well-being of the
Marines, um, but I thought I wasa shoo-in getting promoted
Before I left recruiting duty.
Um, our Sergeant Major gotrelieved.

(58:43):
He cared so much about theMarines, so much man, and he
made sure that we was preparedto go back to the fleet.
Because recruiting duty is likethe Wild Wild West you do
different things.
The orders ain't really ordersout there.
You know what I mean.
So Sergeant Major Parton gotrelieved.

(59:05):
To this day I still don't knowwhy they did that One of the
best sergeant majors I ever metin my life.
But this mass sergeant had,like a I never seen someone in
the same uniform as you hateanother Marine like I seen.

(59:27):
And when Sergeant Major gotrelieved, everybody's like
photos and everything.
It didn't matter, like theydidn't care.
All he cared about wasrecruiting because he was the RI
for the station.
He was the RI for the station.
I pretty much do my lastfarewell before I leave.

(59:49):
He got mad at me because Ididn't thank him.
I'm like man, why am I going tothank you?
You put me through hell forthese three years.
You know what I'm saying Onrecruiting duty in Jersey.
I'm not thanking nobody.
That put me through hell.
I just can't do it.
I get to TSB.
Nobody knew I was coming.
You know the board wasconvening and I'm asking

(01:00:11):
questions like hey, anybody knowanything?
The company Gunny didn't knownothing.
The staff sergeant, other staffsergeant didn't know nothing.
I'm just lost in the sauce withit and I'm asking all these
people.
And I didn't get selectedBecause I was in a below zone.
So it was time for me toreenlist In 2015,.

(01:00:34):
I put in my reenlistmentpackage.
My reenlistment package gotdenied.
I'm like what's going on?
They're like, well, you got a P.
I'm like how I get a P?
I was in a below zone.
They was like, oh, the zoneshifted during the board and I

(01:00:56):
was like, how, like, where's theMark Adman, where's anything
that says that it shifted?
I don't know nothing about itand how did I still get a P?
I had a successful tour onrecruiting duty and I was a
sergeant for eight years andthey had the stipulation that by
the 10-year mark you had to begone.

(01:01:17):
If you didn't pick up staffsergeant, you got to be gone.
I was already at 11 yearsbecause I had extended to do
recruiting and staff sergeant,you got to be gone.
I was already at 11 yearsbecause I had extended to do
recruiting.
And, yeah, it crushed me.
So now I'm back to that darkplace, that dark hole.
I just want to kill everything.
My mom reached out then.

(01:01:39):
I just spoke to her, that wasit.
But I didn't speak to her likeon a daily basis or nothing like
that.
It was just she was justchecking on me.
Everybody was calling in, youknow, shout out to Coco, shout
out to Lampson, shout out toTina Turnip, because they were
the ones there, my Marinesisters.

(01:02:00):
That was like with me the wholestep of the way, like I didn't
even go back to work.
I was crushed.
My whole life was the MarineCorps.
I didn't have a plan B.
I didn't have a plan C.
I'm married.
I got two kids.
Now you know what I mean.
Tootie was just born inDecember 2014.
So now I got to figure out howto be a husband and go back.

(01:02:27):
So yeah, 2015 happened.
I got forced out the MarineCorps.
They gave me $40,000 set, notknowing that I couldn't get my
disability until that $40,000ran out.
I would have known that Iprobably would have never took
it, but they gave me 80%disability out the gate, which I

(01:02:48):
should have been 100, I felt Imean all the shit I've been
through.
I drive down to Dallas tosurprise Quez.
He was graduating, the firstboy on the boy side of the
family to graduate college.
So I popped up on him 2015.

(01:03:09):
Him and his wife, brittany, andMoot, his mom, dinka, kathy, my
brother everybody showed up,popped up on him.
Dennis, tamika, tanishaeverybody popped up on him,
right?

(01:03:32):
So we having a time, dinka andMoot put me to the side and was
like, hey, you still don't talkto your mom.
Mind you, my whole family, onboth sides, the Kennedy and
Jordans, know each other verywell.
They grew up together.
They lived across the streetfrom each other, on Maxwell 57,
55.

(01:03:53):
Maxwell across the street wasmy mom and them.
That's how my dad met my mom,right?
Everybody knows each other.
So Dinka and Moot was like hey,you still don't talk to your mom
.
I said nah, what I have noreason to.
To me she's dead.
To me, she wrote me off.

(01:04:13):
I can't get, I can't, I can't.
If you mess up on certainthings, okay, cool, you
apologize, keep it moving, butyou write me off and still don't
apologize.
I can't, I can't do that, Ijust can't.
I can't even look your way.
And that's how I used to be.
I'd go in my grandma's house.
She'd be there.
I'd walk right past her.
They asked me.

(01:04:36):
They said can you at least tryfor us and the love that I have?
Again, I told you I'm off.
Love my family, I love all myfamily, right?
So they're my big cousins.
So if they asking me, all right, cool, I'll give it a try.
So I came home in 2015.

(01:04:57):
Me and my mom went out to eat atFamous Dave Never forget Famous
Dave.
We having a good time talking.
I let it all go because it wasmy big cousin asking me to do
something.
So I'm not going to play withit.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm not going to play aroundand just act like I'm faking it.
I'm actually having aconversation with her.

(01:05:18):
I'm looking at her.
I'm talking to her.
We talking about whatever,asking about the girls, all of
that.
I'm FaceTiming the girls whileshe you know what I mean she's
talking to them, all of that.
Then she was like let's go tothe MGM.
We go to the MGM, I'm walkingaround, she finds her slots that

(01:05:42):
she wants.
Boom, we're sittingGM.
I'm walking around, she findher slots that she want and boom
, we sitting there.
I'm trying to play the slots.
I'm not winning nothing.
I'm next to her and you know,I'm just watching her.
Now and boom, I'm having anepisode, because now I'm
reliving everything.
This is how you was spending mymoney, because now I'm reliving

(01:06:03):
everything.
This is how you were spendingmy money.
You were just hitting thatbutton over and over and over
and over again and I'm having anepisode, but I'm keeping it
together and she wins the money.
It was like a hundred andsomething dollars.
She give it to me and I cash itand we go about our day, we

(01:06:25):
having a mother-son relationshipagain.
I'm back in DC now.
I'm being a house husbandbecause I don't work, I'm out
the Marine Corps, I'm just doingwhat I can.
Benita was sick.
I had to make sure that she wasmedically covered before
anything.
I had to make sure that she wasmedically covered before
anything.
And I'm trying to get back intothat life because, mind you, me

(01:06:48):
and Benita wasn't even livingtogether for those three and a
half four years while I was onrecruiting duty.
We had two kids with that.
So you know what I mean.
I'm trying to just we trying tolearn each other again.
But I'm still being a househusband and taking care of the
kids, taking them to school,taking them to daycare, cooking,
all of that, doing whatever Ineed to do.

(01:07:09):
Right, she retires.
She sent me some money.
She sent my brother some money.
Apparently, she sent me moremoney than she sent my brother

(01:07:32):
and I you know, me and mybrother talk.
So I'm like, when she sent methis, she was like man, she only
sent me that.
I'm like I don't know what's upwith that.
And she was like hey, this issome of the money from my
retirement.
I'm trying to keep something.

(01:07:52):
I'm trying to keep them fromlooking into my accounts and
seeing if I got a lot of money.
I'm like what are you trying todo, though?
Why you just don't keep it inyour account?
And she's like no, this is fory'all here.
Take this.
If you need to spend it, dowhatever.
Just try to put money back inwhen you can.
I'm like all right, cool.
So this is the time my momstarted going on cruises and

(01:08:13):
vacations.
So every time she asking for400, 500, 600, send this, send
this, send this, send this.
So I'm sending it money ground,you know, apple Pay, and none
of that stuff ain't even out forreal yet.
So I'm just sending it, sendingit, going to the West Lane,
sending it, sending it.
And I'm like it got to thepoint where the money ran out.

(01:08:33):
So she texted me and saidwhere's the rest of my fucking
money at?
I'm like huh.
And she was like you betterhave my fucking money back in

(01:08:54):
there by October or I'm going tosue you.
I said I'm reading a textmessage.
I said I know you fucking lying.
I said is this the same?
I said is this sure this thesame woman that that took all my

(01:09:14):
money, spent it at a casinowith my grandma and then wrote
me seven months later and toldme the reason why she spent the
money cause she didn't think Iwas gonna make it out of our rat
.
You texted me this and stillain't apologized.
I said yo look, I got you one.

(01:09:35):
I got you.
Do me a solid.
I said don't you ever fuckingcall my phone, text my phone
ever again in my life?
And that was the last time Iheard from him.
So that's been like 10 plusyears.
It's 2025 now.

(01:09:59):
I'm big on my peace.
I can't let nothing get inbetween my peace.
I can't let nothing get inbetween my peace.
2019, I got divorced.
It ain't what I wanted to do.
Benita said it wasn't nothingshe wanted to do.
But I knew why she wasdivorcing me Because you know,

(01:10:24):
in VA, after 10 years, um, ify'all still married, your spouse
rates half of your pension andI ain't want her money.
But um, at the time we weregoing back and forth.
We went on the greatest termsbecause I had left, we separated

(01:10:45):
, I left and moved out.
But that day was weird becauseafter we got divorced we went to
lunch and she was like you know, I ain't want to do this, but I
couldn't be married to you inJuly by July, and it had been 10

(01:11:06):
years.
And I respect that.
You know what I mean.
My only thing is like I neverwanted to be that person to say
I made you go everywhere with mein the military and you didn't
have a career, so I made youknow I wanted to make sure that
she had a career and didn't havea career, so I made you know I

(01:11:27):
wanted to make sure that she hada career.
And she do have a career.
She still got a career.
Now I'm just trying to help her.
You know, get her not her GI,get her disability stuff.
But we're good, we co-parentingnow that's what it is.
But my peace is everything.
My kids is everything.

(01:11:54):
I'm not letting nobody get inmy way of my peace at all.
I can't.
I just can't.
I have my own place.
I'm here, I'm chilling.
I've lost friends.
I've gained friends, but thosefriends that I've lost, like I

(01:12:15):
can't let you back in.
I just can't.
I can't.
If my own flesh and blood do mehow she done me, I can only
imagine what you would do.
So when you lose thatfriendship with me, it's severed
, you can't get it back.
So, when it comes to my peace,I'm not allowing a family member

(01:12:39):
, I'm not allowing a friend ofthe family.
I'm not allowing a familymember.
I'm not allowing a friend ofthe family.
I'm not allowing my ownsiblings.
I'm not allowing anybodygetting in the way of my peace.
Now I joined the church.
I got baptized last yearOctober 22nd yeah, october 22nd.

(01:13:04):
Yeah, october 22nd.
I needed to find a relationship.
I needed to find myrelationship with God because I
was, I was spiraling.
I was spiraling and I knew Iwas going.
It wasn't going to be a crashout Like, but I was going do

(01:13:26):
some things to some people thatplayed with my piece.
I knew that wasn't the case andI knew that wasn't the route.
I was trying to go.
And also, I just needed it.
Man, I just felt likeeverything was coming down on me

(01:13:50):
.
This entrepreneur stuff is verytough.
Trying to make it out on yourown and everybody thinking you
doing so great, and you got itand you, you balling, and this,
this and this, and nine timesout of ten man, it's a struggle.
It's a struggle every time.

(01:14:10):
As an entrepreneur, I quit mygovernment job to pursue my
career doing music.
I found another love it'spotting, podcasting, talking and
it helps me Therapeutically Toget my feelings out and I feel
like when I do this, I'm already, I'm already good, I'm happy,

(01:14:37):
I'm straight and I still got mytherapist.
I go talk to my therapist everyTuesday.
My therapist definitely helpedme get through a lot of this.
But yeah, god man, I had totalk to Big G one time and let
him know like, hey, I need you,I need you.

(01:14:59):
But now apparently, my momhasn't been taking care of
herself quite some time and Idon't know how she I don't know
she ended up here in December.

(01:15:22):
That's all I know.
I know she was here sinceDecember.
That's all I know.
I know she was here sinceDecember.
And I had an aunt call me andtell me that hey, your mama had
a heart attack and she's in DC.
I said, okay, she's like oh, Iwas just telling you because you

(01:15:43):
know you're her son.
I'm like, okay, she's like oh,I was just telling you because
you know you're her son.
I'm like okay, what you want meto do.
She's like well, you knowthat's your mom.
I was just letting you know.
I don't know the situationbetween you and your mom, but I
was just letting you know.
Now, this is 2025.

(01:16:10):
I don't think I got boo-boo onmy forehead, but the fact that
my aunt even said that I feltlike she was enabling a
situation that I've been.
I forgave my mom.
I'm not even waiting on anapology, no more.
I just forgave her and I keptit moving.
That don't mean I got to bearound you.

(01:16:31):
You know what I mean and that'swhat I did.
I forgave her.
I've been forgave her.
But you know what I'm saying.
I just felt like my aunt sayingthat it was uncalled for for
one.
Two, I felt like she wasenabling an old situation,
gaslighting it right, trying tothrow the fuel on it to start

(01:16:51):
something up, and I think shewas looking for a reaction.
But again, my piece iseverything.
You're not about to get areaction out of me.
So I'm asking you what do youwant me to do?
And I asked her questions.
I'm like where's she at?
I don't know.
They said she's about tomedevac her.
I said where's she going,where's she at?
I don't know.

(01:17:12):
I'm just letting you know.
Okay, cool, boom, benita called.
I called Benita.
I said hey, you know my momhere.
She said, hey, you know my momhere.
She said, yeah, she been heresince December.
I said, oh, okay, which?
She had a relationship.

(01:17:32):
I never stopped her having arelationship with my mom for the
kids and everything.
I'm not petty like that, butyeah.
So she said she was supposed tocome see the girls but she was
feeling sick, so she went to thehospital.
She said she was going to comesee the girls but she was
feeling sick, so she went to thehospital.
She said she was going to getchecked out because she wasn't
feeling well.
So I'm like, oh, okay, I'm like, well, my aunt just said she
just had a heart attack.
She said what she said sheain't had no heart attack, maybe

(01:17:54):
pneumonia she might havepneumonia, but she ain't had no
heart attack.
So I'm like, hmm, all right, Igo, I go, I go one my next day,

(01:18:17):
matter of fact, that same day,I'm heading home.
I could have just went home,but it was something on my heart
.
My God was telling me to hey,hey, just go check, see what's
going on.
I did that.
I went.
I ended up being a little bittoo early.
I told Benita, hey, I'm here.
She's like all right, I don'tneed to come.

(01:18:37):
I just you know what I mean, Ijust I'm about to go to sleep.
So I said you know what I mean,I just I'm about to go to sleep
.
So I said cool, it's like eight, nine o'clock, she, she, she.
I'm waiting on her to get theremedevac from a helicopter.

(01:18:58):
I'm asking the hospital hey, isSharon there?
And they're like no, she's nothere yet.
She's like wait 30 minutes.
It shouldn't take no more than30 minutes Because, mind you,
it's only like three hospitalsin DC and like two close by in
the Maryland area PG County,bowie I mean not Bowie, but

(01:19:18):
Largo, and I think Doctors isthe only close one that can get
there.
She said they'll get herewithin 25 minutes.
Who Go back up 30 minutes?
Nope, she's still not here.
What's the patient name?
Told her the patient name.
Wait an hour, go back up.
I said look man.

(01:19:40):
I said look man, she's in 2NEroom 9.
She's in ICU.
The lady at the desk said oh, oh, oh.
She started moving aroundcalling people da da, da, da da.
She said okay, okay, okay, Ifinally got it.
She's at 4NE here, go yourbadge, get your badge so I take

(01:20:04):
a picture get a badge, gothrough this door, go all the
way down and go up to 4NE.
I get up to 4NE, I say yeah,I'm here to see Sharon.

(01:20:25):
They like who like?
Sharon Jordan?
They're like we don't havenobody on this floor with that
name.
I'm like yo, y'all just sent meup here from emergency.
What are you talking about?
They looked at my name.
I had a little sticker have myname 4NE, where I was supposed
to go, all of that.
So I'm like, yeah, she's not inthe system, she's not up here.

(01:20:47):
We don't have no patient uphere for that name.
So I said, okay, can you lookin your computer and tell me
where she's at?
She's here somewhere in here,this big hospital.
So they was like, yeah, you gotto go back down to the
emergency room to do that.
I.
So they was like, yeah, you gotto go back down to the
emergency room to do that.
I said you know what?
Okay, go back down to theemergency room.
I'm waiting in line.

(01:21:08):
The lady doing whatever,gossiping, talking to whoever in
the back and there's two otherpeople in front of me.
Mind you, I've been there forthree hours.
I said you know what, I'm goingto just go home.
I went home, I'm going to justgo home.
I went home.
Part of me wanted to cuss thelady out for playing with me.

(01:21:29):
But I said you know what?
That's bro?
Because the old Antoine, whenit went up there, the old
Antoine would have said to hellwith her.
The old Antoine would have beenlike I would have probably hung
up on my aunt, but I didn't.
I still speak to two of myaunts on that side.

(01:21:50):
So, yeah, I tell Benita whathappened.
Benita's still in communication.
She's keeping me updated.
So I call the next day becauseBenita's like hey, can you call
Because something ain't soundingright.
So I called the next daybecause Benita was like hey, can
you call Because somethingain't sounding right.
So I call.
They say she needs to be put ondialysis because she can't

(01:22:10):
produce her own urine.
So I said, ok, what's theprocedures to that?
They were like well, wenormally go through the neck, we
can go through the arm, we cango to the thigh, we can go
different places to help to putthe needle in for dialysis.
So I said, okay, cool, what'sthe likelihood of it being

(01:22:34):
long-term?
What's the likelihood of itbeing short-term?
Is she going to stay on it orwhat's going on?
The doctor said it just alldepends on her kidneys.
And I was like, okay, cool,I'll call back tomorrow.
Call back tomorrow.
Almost every day I call checkingthe status Again, bro, but I'm

(01:23:00):
not doing it for nobody else,I'm just doing it for me.
It ain't for nobody else.
I don't need the spectacle.
You know what.
I'm not doing it for nobodyelse, I'm just doing it for me.
It ain't for nobody else.
I don't need the spectacle.
You know what I'm saying.
So, mind you, she goes and telleverybody back home I'm coming
up there to see her and she'sbringing me a charger.
You know nothing about nocharger, didn't tell nobody.

(01:23:22):
I was bringing her a charger,but Nita was supposed to bring
her a charger.
So I guess she put it in herhead that I was going to get the
charger for her.
Nah, so again I've checked onher.
Then I get another call fromanother aunt and she's talking

(01:23:42):
to me very aggressive.
She said are you all right?
I said I'm fine, are you sure,yes, well, you know, you know
that's your mom and this, thisand this, and you know.
You know if you a man, a guy,you supposed to, you know you

(01:24:03):
should be carrying yourself adifferent way.
Hold up, don't do that.
So now I'm getting irritated,and it's one of my closest aunts
too.
I'm super irritated becauseit's like where is this coming
from?
You know my situation, you knowwhere I stand and nothing's

(01:24:27):
going to change, but in her eyesshe just thought she had to lay
.
When it comes to death, man,people start acting very weird,
very weird, start acting veryweird, very weird.
Prime example, when Quez passedaway, people started acting

(01:24:51):
very weird.
But yeah, she was trying to.
She's like you know, that'syour mom and I care about her.
You know she did a lot for megrowing up, da-da-da-da-da.
I said Auntie, that's okay,that's your relationship with
her.
My relationship ain't the sameand you can't make me feel some
way for you, like I'm my ownperson, I'm about to be 40 years

(01:25:16):
old, I'm straight, I'm good, Idon't need.
I don't need this, this lectureor this, this.
She was like well, you know,I'm just trying to.
I said auntie, I'm good.
She just kept going, kept going, kept going, finally get off

(01:25:37):
the phone.
Now I'm hot, I'm human, and shewas calling me While I was
playing the game With the homies, like you know what I'm saying.
So I'm on call of duty.
I can't even concentrate, can'tcommunicate with the homies.
They mad at me.
I'm trying to communicate tothem Saying it's dude in the

(01:25:57):
pods, and then I got my aunt Inmy ear talking nonsense.
Then I had to explain it to myboys and then I got my aunt in
my ear talking nonsense and Ihad to explain it to my boys.
Now one thing I will say D Paul, chris Pau, they know, they

(01:26:18):
know what's up, man, we talkevery day.
They know what's up and Iappreciate them for
understanding it.
But yeah, man, I wasn't lookingforward to that because, again,
I'm me.
Y'all handle death differently.

(01:26:38):
I don't.
Only time I handle death adifferent way is when somebody
wasn't supposed to leave thisearth on some mishaps that
happened in training to become acop.
My cousin Quiz, you know whatI'm saying, and I literally was

(01:27:01):
just talking to him.
I just seen him because Ivisited him before I went to the
boys trip in Houston.
I was in Dallas.
So with that I handled deathdifferently.
I've seen people die right infront of me.
I've seen a Marine.
Like I was saying earlier, hewould watch us play basketball

(01:27:25):
on Hurricane Point.
He never played.
He had these bifocals we callthem BCs birth control glasses
but this dude was a mean, he wasan infantry, he was a gunner.
You know what I'm saying?
A machine gunner.
The machine gunner.

(01:27:45):
I seen half his body down thestreet because the IED blew up
this big hole the size of mywhole room.
That's how big that hole was.
Because I was QRF, I had to goout there and secure the area
and look at that hole and theparts of the Hummer is not even

(01:28:10):
there.
They down the street in otherpeople's yards.
The top half of his body isdown the street.
So I handled death differently.
Yeah, I handled deathdifferently, and not saying that
my mom is gonna die, but if shedoes like I handle it different

(01:28:33):
that's between me and the manupstairs I handle it differently
, poise.
Um, I handle it differently,poise.
I believe I have a lot of that.

(01:28:53):
So I handle things waydifferently than everybody else.
You can't make me feel the wayyou want me to feel.
People Just want to let y'allknow that how I handle things is
how I handle things.
How you handle things is howyou handle things.
I don't want no sympathy.
I don't want no empathy.
I don't want it If it's genuine, I know it's genuine, but I

(01:29:20):
don't need the extra excessivecomments or anything.
It's genuine, but I don't needthe extra excessive comments or
anything.
That's going on right now.
I just don't, because I'm again.
My peace is everything.
I'm very calm.
Please don't rattle the snake,don't rattle the bear.
Please don't Don't do it,because you're not going to like

(01:29:44):
the outcome.
That switch hasn't been on in along time and I don't want to
turn it on.
I'm a changed man, but don'tget it twisted, but yeah, so I
felt like this pod.
I want to share a little bitmore in depth of like what I've

(01:30:06):
been dealing with in the last 20years of my life, because it
was 20 years ago this happenedand I've went through multiple
therapists.
My therapist now is great.
She understands, she's alwayslooking out for me, she's
helping me.
I had to go through therapistsbecause some of them were just

(01:30:32):
putting a check in the box, butthis, my therapist now, is great
.
She's sometimes all over theplace when it comes to like
scheduling and we miss eachother sometimes because I ain't
gonna lie, I fell asleep acouple times, sometimes all over
the place.
When it comes to scheduling, wemiss each other sometimes
because I ain't going to lie, Ifell asleep a couple times
during our session or I wassupposed to have a session and I
just fell asleep and I woke uplate.

(01:30:52):
But I'm not going to put it allon her, but she's great and I
appreciate her for even looking,finding other ways for me to
get my anger out or get my and Ididn't have no anger about my
mom's situation thing until myaunts decided to dive their self

(01:31:16):
into the situation and try tosteer the situation where it
don't need to be steered, steerthe situation where it don't
need to be steered.
So, yeah, again, thank y'all,man, thank y'all.
I just wanted to give y'all anin-depth of me.
This is me.
This is Tweez.
This is you.

(01:31:37):
Know this, tez.
Some people know me as Tez, butthis is me as Antoine.
I'm going to give it to you raw.
I'm going to give it to you raw.
I'm going to give it to youuncut.
I'm always going to speak thefacts.
There's no lie in that story atall.
But again, I appreciate y'allfor rocking with me.

(01:31:58):
It's January 13th, so I'm goingto have this out today, about
to put it out today, as soon asI get done, so I can edit and do
all of the stuff.
But I appreciate y'all, makesure y'all like, subscribe,
comment, share, share it toanybody that's in your family or
somebody that you know mighthave dealt with something like

(01:32:20):
this.
It don't have to be a mom, itcould be a father, whoever, but
share this story.
I that you know might havedealt with something like this.
It don't have to be a mom, itcould be a father, whoever, but
share this story.
I just want to speak on it andI'm trying to pull back a lot of
my cursive spirit.
Like Pastor Jinger say, thecussing, he's a cussing spirit,
he's got a cussing spirit.
I'm trying to pull back on thata lot.

(01:32:42):
So, yeah, I appreciate y'all,though for real, because this
was driving working this morningI was just like yo man, I got
to say something, I got to getit out, even though I put it in
my journal.
Every day I've been having anissue how I'm feeling.
I put it in my journal, I readmy daily bread Like I've
definitely done it, and beforewe get out of here, though, I

(01:33:07):
want to give y'all a gym,because I always do gym class.
Right, I always do gym class.
So here go one.
Be careful what you say out yourmouth, because your mouth is

(01:33:28):
like a weapon and what you spitout are the rounds, and when you
spit those rounds out at aperson, what you're saying, you
can't get those back.
So if it's something that's anegative connotation or anything
negative, evil, spiteful,whatever you say, anything bad,

(01:33:48):
you can't get that back.
You write that out and you sendit.
You can't get that back.
That's still ammunition thatyou're using to sin.
So be careful what you say topeople, because we forgive, but
we never forget, and like that.

(01:34:08):
This is Relationships WorthMore Than Money podcast.
I am Tweezy.
Yeah, it's been one.
Real Thank y'all, though I hadto get it out.
I had to get it out'all.
Though I had to get it out.
I had to get it out.
Man, I had to get it out, and Ihope y'all respect this.

(01:34:29):
Understand it again likecomment, share, subscribe,
purchase the merch.
Oh, how you like me?
Yeah, big K-dot muster.
Yeah, like that, I'm gone.
How you like me?
Yeah, big K-dot Busted.
Yeah, like that, I'm gone.