Avoid Snap Judgments

In circumstances that don't require snap decisions, consider three ways of tolerating stress in order to improve your judgment.

For your convenience, here's a non-affiliate link to the Malcom Gladwell book Blink that I mention.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
[ music].
Hi, this is Rob Sepich, andwelcome to Relaxing with Rob.
Are you subject to prejudice andbias and other quick judgments
that are often just plain wrong?

(00:22):
I know I am, and I work reallyhard not to be.
We talked before about how thestress response has a purpose in
our evolution, but that thesedays, it's actually needed only
a fraction of the time that itgets triggered.
Well, I think that our abilityto make snap judgments is
similar.

(00:43):
When you're walking across anintersection and you notice a
car that's not slowing down fortheir light that just turned
red, you need to make a fastdecision to jump out of the way.
Malcolm Gladwell does anexcellent job outlining people
who make great decisions justbeneath their level of
consciousness in his book,"Blink." He writes about a

(01:06):
firefighter who cleared his crewout of a kitchen that was on
fire just seconds before thefloor gave way.
And he couldn't explain why hedid this, but something just
didn't seem right.
And it turned out the fire wasfrom the basement, and his boots
were just a little warmer thannormal.

(01:26):
And that's likely the signal hewas operating from, but he
didn't consciously know it atthe time.
So these snap judgments can belifesaving.
University Police have oftentold students to trust their
instincts if they're in asituation that doesn't feel
safe.
It means it's probably not safe.

(01:49):
I think the issue is we continuemaking these snap judgments in
situations that don't reallycall for it, and we might not
even be aware of it.
For example, when we're anxiousand pressed for time, we seem to
latch onto the first impressionwe receive, and then we believe
it's correct.
In fact, we then look forevidence to confirm it.

(02:12):
And we find it--even if we'recreating it! Implicit bias and
confirmatory bias are quitereal.
This is a tricky subject becauseotherwise well-intended people
who pride themselves on beingfree from prejudice("I don't see
color") are still prejudiced.

(02:34):
In fact, experts say thesepeople are harder to work with
than those who admit theirprejudices but are open to
examining them.
When I would chair search&screen committees, we'd always
take time in the first meetingto talk about implicit bias.
And that's why our HR departmentwould redact applications so we

(02:55):
wouldn't know the names orgender identity or other
non-relevant details.
We're all subject to viewingothers prejudicially, even if
we're from an underrepresentedgroup ourself.
Here's a personal example.
In college, I got some extracredit points in a class for
volunteering in a senior center,but then I continued doing it

(03:18):
after the semester because Iliked it.
The job was talking with, butmostly listening to the
residents.
And I learned so much from thesevisits.
And since then I've always beencomfortable around older people.
But then very gradually,something bizarre happened: I
got older.

(03:40):
In fact, I always appreciatedwhen talking with my daughter
about a health challenge, she'dsay,"Well Dad, you've got to
understand, you're old-er." AndI'd say,"Thank you for the-er."
Anyway, I've got to admit thatI've become less comfortable
around older people.

(04:03):
In fact, I think I've becomesomewhat ageist for the first
time.
And I know why.
It's obvious to me that Iidentify more and more as one of
them.
Groucho Marx famously said thathe wouldn't want to belong to a
club that would have him as amember.
But by admitting my prejudice, Ican work through it.

(04:25):
And I am.
I'm moving back into theappreciation mode of what I can
learn from people who arefarther along on the path than
me.
In general, although I can sayit has challenges, they tell me
that"the water's fine." Collegestudents I'd help with test
anxiety would describe howthey'd gravitate toward the

(04:48):
first possible familiar answerin multiple choice exams, just
to get through the test as fastas possible.
And of course they were oftenwrong.
When they could learn tomindfully sit with the stress a
bit or reframe it as"energy,"they could find better answers,

(05:08):
like the always difficult optionof,"more than one of the above,
but not all of the above." Withrespect to confirmatory bias, we
like to be around people who aresimilar to us, and hear news
from sources that align with ourpolitical beliefs.
It's simply more comfortable.

(05:28):
But if you can tolerate a littleanxiety, it's enlightening what
we can learn about other people.
And we might discover that wedon't hold a monopoly on the
truth.
Finding common ground is mucheasier when we understand the
other side.

(05:49):
In a later episode, I'll sharemy all-time favorite
commencement address that wewould discuss in my class.
And I will freely admit myconfirmatory bias in selecting
it.
So as I hope you're gathering,I'm not acting like I'm above
any of this.
But if you'd like to experiment,here are three ideas on

(06:12):
tolerating anxiety to avoid snapjudgments.
First, think of a friend youdidn't really like the first
time you met them.
There was just something aboutthem that may have rubbed you
the wrong way.
But over time, your feelingschanged.
Maybe you saw them at a deeperlevel, or understood their

(06:35):
background, or you figured thatwhat you first noticed was kind
of a protective coating thatthey let dissolve once they
figured you were safe.
Isn't your life a little richerbecause you hung in there and
saw past your first impression?
And if so, why stop there?

(06:56):
The next time somebody you meetrubs you the wrong way, at least
consider that you're probablynot seeing their essence.
I love it when my firstimpressions are proved wrong
because it keeps me open-mindedfor what comes next.
Second, act like a politicalscientist or a cultural

(07:19):
anthropologist and as non-judgmentally as possible, expose
yourself to a news source with adifferent bias.
You might need to monitor yourpulse or your blood pressure
while you're doing this.
But it can be helpful tounderstand more about why some
people believe what theybelieve.

(07:40):
And third, and I think this isthe most powerful one, slow
down.
I think of a photography bookthat showed various nature
scenes from both fast and slowshutter speeds.
Like a waterfall at 1/800th of asecond shows individual

(08:00):
droplets, but at 1/2 a second,it's a pattern of movement.
So the same reality you'relooking at will seem completely
different from a mindfulperspective.
Maybe that critical remark froma family member that triggers
your anger could be seen as apattern of that person's fear,

(08:25):
and that insight on your partmight permit a much more helpful
or empathic response from you.
Thank you for listening, andwe'll talk again soon.
[ music].