Burnout doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it whispers through a spotless calendar, a packed to-do list, and the constant need to be “fine.”
Today we sit with two origin stories of awakening: Melanie stands before the ashes of her burned home and sees how people-pleasing had already scorched her spirit, while Sylvia faces a life-threatening diagnosis and chooses surrender over control.
What follows is a candid, faith-forward conversation about rebuilding from the inside out, where worth no longer hinges on performance and boundaries become daily acts of self-respect.
We explore the early signs of burnout that most of us normalize.
Melanie shares how she pivoted from business strategist to trauma-informed facilitator leading women’s circles, and how The Phoenix Path emerged as a guide for healing, rebuilding, and rising stronger.
Sylvia opens up about quieting the inner critic, talking gently to the anxious inner child, and using simple tools like the five-second rule to interrupt spirals of doubt. We unpack what it means to hold grief and joy at the same time, to curate influences after big life changes, and to choose peace that doesn’t depend on applause.
You’ll leave with clear markers to spot burnout early, practical ways to set boundaries without building walls, and a gentler way to talk to yourself when the old patterns knock.
If you’ve been living for other people’s expectations, this is a compass back to your own. Subscribe for more purpose-driven conversations, share this with someone who needs a spark to rise, and leave a review to tell us: what boundary will you honor this week?
To connect with Melanie visit her website at www.thephoenixpath.net
To download a free chapter of host Sylvia Worsham's bestselling book, In Faith, I Thrive: Finding Joy Through God's Masterplan, purchase any of her products, or book a call with her, visit her website at www.sylviaworsham.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
If you've ever struggled with fear, doubt, or
worry and wondering what yourtrue purpose was all about,
better then this podcast is foryou.
In this show, your host, SylviaWarsham, will interview elite
experts and ordinary people thathave created extraordinary
lives.
So here's your host, SylviaWarsham.
unknown (00:26):
I've still got a lot of fire left.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
Today is Melanie Roan.
She's coming out of Nova Scotia.
And when they sent me herCalendly application, if you
will, I read it and I thought,man, she's a soul sister.
She had been through the fire,and there's no doubt she has.
She has experienced burnout.
(00:53):
Who on this podcast listeninghas not experienced that?
When you start off in this firstact and you're living life based
on other people's expectationsand not based out of your own
light, out of your own soul'sdesires, but rather out of
fear-based belief systems.
We've all been there.
And when we start off on thatpath, initially it looks like
(01:16):
it's the greatest thing in theworld.
And then something happens.
And it stops us.
And that's what happened toMelanie.
But I don't want to give itaway.
So without further ado, Melanie,thank you so much for joining us
on Release Out Reveal Purpose.
Well, hi, Sylvia.
I'm so happy to be here.
And absolutely, I believe we aresoul sisters and soul spirits.
(01:37):
I'm kind of loving the fact thatyou're halfway around the world
and I'm in my little town inAustin, Texas, interviewing you.
And I just think it's so amazinghow people find each other and
connect.
And I I'm not amazed orsurprised anymore.
I know God is always perfect inhis timing because sometimes we
(02:03):
need each other to get throughthis next chapter that is
presented in our life.
If we're going through grief,like you and I were talking
about earlier, before we startedrecording, I've been in grief
and I have found that even ingrief, there can be joy and
there can be happiness andfulfillment within.
(02:32):
Oh, absolutely.
I think each and every one of usare holding something that that
may be sticking in our hearts.
Um, I'm I'm dealing with somesome grief of myself, uh, that
was from a loss of a child.
And it's it's amazing thatthere's so many beautiful things
(02:55):
and miracles that are happeningin the world, and there's still
this pain, and we need to beable to hold the the opposites,
as I was saying to you earlier.
Um and I love the fact that wecan hold those opposites, and
it's okay to smile when you'rein pain, and sometimes people
(03:16):
feel like they're not supposedto.
You know, I'm not supposed tofeel happy because I'm sad right
now, you know, or I'm notsupposed to feel grief because
it's a beautiful moment.
But if you've lost someonespecial and you're standing at a
wedding and you're missing thatperson, that's it's okay to feel
(03:38):
that moment of grief and let itpass through and still find joy
in the rest of the day.
I I'm so witty on that becausereally, as I was explaining to
you before, there is joy in thejourney.
I find that society, all thatnoise outside of us, is feeding
(04:03):
subconsciously these messagesthat joy is a destination, that
you're gonna get there and thenyou're gonna coast, and you're
never gonna have trials andtribulations.
And that's simply not true.
We have trials and tribulations,there's always joy in that
journey.
And what we can do is just staypresent in those moments that
(04:27):
you were talking about in thatwedding.
If it comes up, allow it,release it, release that doubt,
release that sadness, releasethat pain, and come back to your
present moment and really bethere for the bride and the
groom as you're standing in a ina wedding reception.
If the music starts and you wantto dance, you dance, no matter
(04:48):
what you face the day before.
Because these are the gifts ofjoy that we receive every single
day.
Those are the miracles that youwere talking about, but people
miss them because they're toobusy doing and not being
enjoyed.
Absolutely, absolutely.
I think we can spend so muchtime doing, doing, doing, doing,
(05:08):
and never any time just being.
And there is so much, there's somuch more to life when you're
when you're living from beingthan from having to prove and
earn and do all the time.
Yeah, and I know you have anamazing story of transformation
that speaks to this effect.
(05:29):
So, can you share with us howyou landed in this space that
you're now talking about burnoutand you're talking about
boundaries and self-respect?
Well, my moment came, right?
The day I was standing in whatused to be my home.
And it was just like twistedmetal and ashes.
There was a horrible fire, andthe fire took everything that I
(05:53):
thought was important, you know,everything that I thought
defined me.
But the truth came that my lifehad been burning down long
before that fire came because Iwas spending so much time
overgiving and people-pleasingand trying to be everything for
everyone, and I had nothingleft.
I had become so empty inside.
(06:15):
So as I sat there, I was like, Ididn't want to rebuild it the
way it was, it just didn't feelright.
It just stripped away everyillusion of control I had on my
life.
Um, and I had to face all thethings that I was avoiding.
Um and I think that was, I knowit sounds like a really harsh
(06:40):
story, but I I truly believethat God had given me like,
here's the nudge, here's theniggle, yes, you're you're
burning out, right?
Here's the two-life void.
Oh wait, Melanie needed the batthe Mac truck because she wasn't
listening.
And so um, even though I wasexhausted and scared and had no
(07:02):
idea what my life was gonna looklike, I was like, I am rising
out of this differently than Icame in.
And that's that's where thePhoenix path really began.
Oh my goodness.
The Mac truck, I'll have to usethat in a video because when we
when I said you and I were soulsisters, you were, I wasn't
(07:22):
kidding.
The Mac truck for me, you havethe fire, you know, burned down
your home and all thepossessions and everything that
you thought was important toyou.
And God was like, Oh, youdecided to take birth control
pills, let me use that choicefor my glory, of course, you
know, and I you're gonna get alittle bit of pain.
(07:44):
Here it comes, in the form ofpulmonary embolisms and budicare
syndrome, and now but carrysyndrome for those that don't
know, it's a beautiful name fora very deadly disease that is
like the clotting of the venacava and putting pressure on
liver, where you can go in acuteliver failure, and the death
rate of that is 80%, and that'swhat I faced in a hospital room.
(08:08):
So you're standing in front of ahouse that was burning down and
I was standing facing sixdoctors in my hospital room,
basically saying, Let me giveyou what you're facing.
You are 37 years old, you'redating the love of your life,
and and you have a little boy,and your mom's in the room, you
(08:31):
have pulmonary embolisms,they're everywhere in your
lungs.
We're surprised you're evenalive and walking.
You have this massive clot, andit's you have maybe a 20% chance
of surviving tonight, and you'lllikely have long-term
complications, right?
Because of the scarring in yourlungs.
(08:51):
So just kind of prepareyourself.
You may go into acute liverfailure, you see the three
doctors on your right, and I waslike, Yes, that's the transplant
team.
They're now in your case.
And I just sat there.
So, what do you do?
You know, I surrendered to Godbecause they weren't confident.
He's the the medical experts inthe biggest medical center in
(09:14):
Texas, which was um St.
Luke's Episcopal Hospital, andit's like where MD Anderson is
the big mega of medicine inTexas.
And they're not confident.
They're like, this girl's gonnadie.
But we're gonna do our best tosave her.
And so what do I do?
I say, okay, God, you you havemy attention.
(09:35):
Obviously, you needed myattention.
I'm all yours.
I've surrendered, you are incontrol.
It's it's your gig now.
And and that testimony isavailable on my website, on my
book, my free chapter is issomething that I give freely
because it is the moment thatshifted everything for me.
(10:03):
I was a highly successfulcorporate saleswoman.
I was top of my class, if youwill.
I was earning a really goodliving, but inside I was a shell
of a person.
And I wasn't happy.
I remember standing on stage andthinking, is this what happiness
(10:23):
is supposed to feel like?
You know, so when I say we're sosisters, oh yes, we are so
sisters because we have bothbeen through the fire and come
out stronger.
But it it's not always so easy,is it?
Like we see that and we think,okay, yeah, we're gonna start
moving in the right direction.
(10:43):
Was that it for you?
Or did you still go through somemajor hurdles to land where
you're at today?
Absolutely, absolutely.
I mean, it wasn't like I justgot up from the ashes and was
like, yay, I'm gonna restart mylife.
I sat there for a while, youknow.
And in the beginning, I thoughtburnout was just I needed more,
(11:04):
I needed better systems, Ineeded more discipline, you
know.
So even when everything wentquiet, um, and I realized how
much I was doing and not being,um, it really came down to I was
letting other people'sexpectations really rule how I
was running my my life.
And I still, you know, I'llstill go back and into those old
(11:29):
patterns.
Um, one of my mentors, she says,new level, old devil, because
you'll get to that next level,and then that same thing that
used to follow you comes back ina different way.
And you have to face it in adifferent way that you couldn't
have faced it before.
Um so it's funny, one of mygirlfriends says, it's not like
(11:51):
um she says, it's it's likecleaning out the refrigerator.
You're not gonna do it once andbe done.
It's gonna happen over and overand over again.
So it's okay if you fallbackwards and move forward
again.
So it's just figuring out whatyou actually need and shifting
into that.
That's when things change.
And when you said you sat therefor a while, how many years did
(12:13):
you sit in that?
Oh no, no, no, I I can't sit foryears to do anything.
Okay.
I'm always doing, right?
So um the fire happened almosttwo years ago to like next week.
So um I ran my first women'scircle.
(12:35):
I'd never run a women's circle.
I was a business strategistbefore.
I helped my my clients earnmillions, hundreds of millions
of dollars.
And that day with with the fire,I lost all my backups for all my
business stuff.
So I had a home office.
The backup company couldn'tbring back my backups, they were
like, it's all corrupt.
(12:55):
Like, what am I gonna do with mylife?
Um, so I sat in that for a fewfew months trying to make things
work and hobble things together.
And I was like, this is not Iwasn't happy before the fight.
Now I'm really not happy.
And um my my assistant, shesaid, Well, what do you want to
(13:16):
do?
And I sat with that for a bit.
And I'm like, I want to runwomen's circles.
She's like, What is that?
I'm like, I have no idea, butthat's what I'm gonna do.
So I went out and learned, Ilearned about women's circles, I
became a trauma-informedfacilitator.
Um, and that took me, that tookme almost a year.
My my first program, I ran it umalmost exactly a year to the day
(13:39):
of the fire.
So it took me about a year, andmy book um came out six months
after that.
SPEAKER_02 (13:46):
So what's the name of your book?
Decide my book.
SPEAKER_01 (13:49):
My book is called The Phoenix Path.
And it's a book, it's a woman'sguide to healing, rebuilding,
and rising stronger.
The Phoenix Path?
Yes.
Okay, and it's available, I'massuming, on Amazon, or where do
I get this?
Absolutely.
Amazon um has it uh around theworld as well as at the
(14:10):
phoenixpath.net.
Okay.
The phoenixpath.net.
Okay.
Well, that's good to knowbecause I'm definitely gonna
check it out after ourinterview.
Because I'm always one that'scurious to know about the guests
I bring on to release thatreview purpose.
And there's just so much depththat we can only cover in like
(14:33):
30 to 40 minutes.
And I want to know more aboutyou.
So I know that there are a lotof women who perhaps are in the
chapter that you and I were in,what tips would you give them?
Um I think the tip that I wouldlike to give you is that we
(14:57):
normalize a lot of the signs ofearly burnout.
And so if you're saying I'm finewhen you're not, or you're
feeling guilty for resting, oryou feel, you know, like you
shouldn't do things that bringyou joy, right?
You've got like that constantlow-grade exhaustion, that's the
beginning of burnout.
(15:19):
It's not just it, it's not justoh, I can't even think of the
right word, right?
It's survival mode.
If you're living in survivalmode, and on your way to
burnout, and so just step backand feel what's in your heart.
And if it says that you need torest, then you can rest and you
(15:41):
don't have to feel guilty aboutit.
You know what?
I'm not saying lie on the couchfor a week and binge watch TV,
but but it's okay to rest anddisconnect and and then come
back at things with with a clearheart.
SPEAKER_02 (15:58):
Do you find that when you do rest without the
noise of the outside world, thatthat inner voice speaks?
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Um and if your inner voice isspeaking to you and it is
critical, that is your ego.
That is not that is not thevoice of your higher self, it's
not the voice of God.
That is that is ego um trying tokeep you exactly where where you
(16:31):
were stuck.
And it's okay to let that go andbe kind and compassionate with
yourself.
And that was one that was hardfor me to learn.
Really?
Why?
Honestly, my inner voice wasvery, very harsh in the the
first, you know, 40 years of mylife, my inner voice was very
(16:52):
harsh.
And it wasn't until I startedmaking peace with all of the
grief and trauma and everythingthat was in my body that I could
let go of that harshness.
Um, and it's funny, that's thefirst chapter in my book, is all
on negative self-talk, becauseit's such a big piece for us as
women trying to carry everythingfor everyone else.
(17:15):
Um, we hear all those littlevoices gnattering in our heads.
It is, it's that inner criticthat uh Julia Cameron talks
about in the artist's way.
And you're right, you'reabsolutely right, that's your
ego.
Now, the ego is the self-imagefor those that are listening.
And if your self-image iscomprised of fear-based belief
(17:38):
systems, that's what's speakingto you.
That's what she means.
The programming, the modeling,the stuff that you haven't
healed, the unhealed wounds thatare informing you.
And so you must realize thatwhen it's doubt, that's not God.
God does not live in doubt.
God lives in joy and love andself-care and compassion and joy
(18:00):
and peace and gratitude.
And when you're in that space,that's where that inner voice,
that's your inner wisdom, that'syour soul speaking.
And I actually talk about thisin In Faith I Thrive, the book
that I was referencing in my myown book.
There's two identities thatbattle.
And and we feel it every day,the ego and the soul identity.
(18:23):
And that is like my own, my ownprocess of transformation that I
share in the book.
It's the five cycles oftransformation.
And it's when you hit change,change is is a very big thing,
and it's a very scary thing forpeople.
It's one of those fears thatthat I discovered when I was
interviewing people for thebook, men and women.
(18:43):
It's like, what is your greatestfear?
And they're like, fear ofchange, fear of the unknown.
It was like huge for them.
It was larger than fear of likepublic speaking or death or any,
I mean, like, fear of theunknown was just like, no, I
can't do that.
And so a lot of people wantcontrol.
And you were saying how in yourfirst chapter you're talking
about the negative self-talk,and I in my first chapter, I'm
(19:05):
talking about all the patternsof behavior that could possibly
come about at the moment oftrauma.
Because mine starts off with thetrauma I experienced as a
seven-year-old.
And one of the identities getsformed then, like the anxious
identity that followed me forover 40 years and still is.
I just discovered her.
(19:26):
Um, when I interviewed someoneuh recently on the podcast, and
I read her book, and there wassomething in her book that just
went, and I was like, oh, thatmakes sense.
That's my anxious seven-year-oldthat is constantly people
pleasing, trying to makeeverything right because
something happened between myfather and I.
And she shows up in conflictwith my husband all the time.
(19:49):
And she's the one that pursueshim, even though he's like, I'm
flooded, honey, I can't talkright now, and I need
reassurance and I need security.
It's that anxious little girl,she's seven.
And she just needs security.
She just needs to be spoken towith love by your present self
and say, hey, it's okay.
He's not going to abandon you.
(20:10):
You know, he just needs time tocool down.
And then you guys can talk.
It's okay.
But if you don't talk toyourself that way, if you're
constantly harshly criticizingyourself, you're going to stay
in that space a lot longer andnot actually have any revelation
whatsoever.
I found.
You know, and that's what keepsthat's what kept me stuck
(20:31):
forever.
Did that similar happen to you?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
So I did not grow up in thekindest environment.
And so I have inner child woundsthat need to be felt and cared
for.
So I can recognize now my innerteenager or my seven-year-old or
(20:55):
even my three-year-old who youknow wants to take the wheel.
And not let them take the wheelnow because before I didn't even
realize that their like innerchild was a thing.
It was just, you know, it wasjust, I was feeling all the
feels they weren't even real.
Yeah.
(21:16):
Yeah.
And you feel like this is youronly truth, and it's not.
It's the feeling part is what Ithink people hold on to too much
and real and think, oh, that'smy truth.
It depends because if theseidentities were formed long ago
when you were a little kid, whatit meant to you then and what it
(21:36):
means to you now is totallydifferent because you've grown.
And your mind has grown.
And you've grown out of theseidentities, but they're still
part of you.
And so it's it's it's uhaccepting that they're always
gonna be there.
It's kind of like um the moviewith uh Russell Crowe, where
he's that mathematician thatgets schizophrenia.
(21:57):
What's the name of it called?
Um, is that the beautiful mind?
The beautiful mind, where hesees the personalities walking,
he acknowledges them, but hechooses not to speak to them,
right?
So it's kind of similar to thatin that you see the
seven-year-old child and youassuage her fears and bring some
(22:21):
security and and sit yourteenage, in my case, bullied
self, who came up in conflict,all warrior-bound, like ready to
attack, because she had beenattacked so much for speaking
the truth that she shied awayfrom sharing the truth.
And my husband would always sayin conflict, like, why do you
shy away from truth?
Why don't you move, like, startwith truth and move from there?
(22:44):
And and I couldn't answer him, Icouldn't remember.
And then I read this girl,Alexis Lee's book, that that
podcast interview aired on 925of this year, and it was a
beautiful episode because Idon't think she realized how
much impact her book had meantto me.
(23:04):
And like you and I, she alsofaced that moment and everything
that life she had created, Godbasically told her, if you died
today, your life would have beena tragedy.
Because this is not basicallywho you were created to be.
And it came out of nowhere.
She was in Oregon and she waswalking in 2020.
(23:26):
And that, and interestinglyenough, she's on her way here to
see me tonight.
Like we're gonna see each othertonight, God willing.
And I'm gonna get to hug her andthank her for unlocking the last
piece of my puzzle that I waspraying for.
And this is this is how asindividuals we impact each
(23:49):
other's lives, and we are partof God's master plan.
And it's such a plan that is sovast in its how it helps others
that when we just solely focuson our little life, we don't see
that.
See, that's how God is like themaster of it all, because he
sees everything and everybody'swounds and and how everything
(24:12):
fits together and this big oldpuzzle that we're all living in.
And she didn't realize theimpact that book had had on
someone like me, and the impactit had on my family.
You know, and it's oh go ahead,it just gives us purpose, you
know, it just it affirms thatthat our gifts are meant to be
(24:38):
seen, are meant to be sharedwith the world, just like you're
sharing your gift with me today.
And with us listening.
It's funny that you say thatbecause sometimes we need a
reminder.
We need a reminder, and I I amso grateful because I think I
needed your reminder today, youknow, because there have been so
(25:01):
many books that have you knowreally impacted me.
And I just can't wait to circlewith more amazing authors all
the time and and get to knowkind of like what we're doing.
Like I just I love this piece somuch, and I shy away from it a
(25:23):
little bit at the same time.
Why do you shy away from it?
I think there's probably still alittle piece of you know,
there's there's a piece I needto unlock.
There's a visibility issue, um,so that I know that I struggle
with.
And I'm like, no, I'm going todo it anyway.
Like I've been on stages with athousand people, and at the same
(25:43):
time, I'm like, am I goodenough?
Do you like me?
You know, I want to make surethat everybody likes me, even
though I know I don't needeveryone to like me, and I don't
need to prove myself.
Um, there's still like thatlittle piece that you know wants
to to feel that I know what itis.
(26:04):
It's the it's the overachieverin me, right?
I want to tie my worth to myperformance.
Oh yeah.
And that has been like my MOsince I was a little girl.
SPEAKER_03 (26:14):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
So, right?
That's how we get that firstone.
Well, that's how we gainsignificance initially, right?
Absolutely.
So we all crave that.
We all crave to be seen andunderstood.
That's totally normal, it's sonatural.
However, the significance comesfrom the deeds, like the faith
(26:40):
in the deeds that we have andhow we impact others with those
deeds, right?
The significance comes from Him,from God.
It doesn't come from theapplause of others, although it
feels good.
It feels good, but the thing isit's not real because if you
(27:00):
remove that piece, what are youleft with?
Well, exactly, and that's why itcomes from within.
The significance comes fromwithin.
It doesn't come from the size ofyour paycheck.
I was there at one point.
Oh, I love the fact that Iearned six figures at Pfizer.
I was independent, I was thisfiery.
(27:22):
They used to call me the greatwhite at Pfizer because I would
come out of nowhere and attack,and and nobody knew what was
coming, you know.
I mean, I was I and I rolled inthat for a while.
But when I look back at my lifenow, I wouldn't give up my life
now, like today.
(27:44):
I just wouldn't, I wouldn't goback to that.
And I and I spoke to a formercolleague of mine advisor
yesterday, and she said, Oh, Imoved my job.
And I just thought to myself, Ilove my job now, and I love
empowering others, and I lovespeaking about him and speaking
about my faith as hard as it'sbeen, because when you step into
(28:05):
your purpose fully, like whereyou start leveling up, spiritual
warfare is gonna happen.
He's gonna attack.
And and it someone was tellingme recently, you must be doing
something right for him toattack you so much.
That's it exactly.
(28:26):
That's it exactly, you know.
Um there is there has to be asense of inner peace that you
have no matter what is going onin your world.
And I am so blessed that now Ihave that where I didn't two
years ago, I didn't have that.
And it's amazing to see I'mtotally different.
(28:50):
Like if you saw pictures of me,you wouldn't think that I was
the same person.
And it's amazing, it's amazing,and I think part of it is asking
yours yourself the question whatif I let this go and it all
falls apart?
You know, what if?
Yeah, what if you know it'salready probably falling apart.
Just you know, you're justtrying to hold all the little
(29:11):
pieces together.
You don't need to, right?
We can let go of all of thatfear and and move forward.
And the people who love us willbring us up, right?
As well as as well as you know,our our soul's purpose.
It will show up in our worldwhen we're finally willing to
(29:34):
let go of that, as I said, egobefore.
So we we let go of all of thecritical things and the roles
that you know started from whenwe were kids, it just becomes
this amazing life that I'mexcited to live.
And I want every single womanlistening to be excited to live
(29:55):
her life and become who she'smeant to become.
Yes, me too.
I want them to just step intothat light and not be afraid.
You know, don't let fear put youin the in a cage like they like
like it put Melanie and I.
And and it and it can it canstill have that potential if you
(30:16):
allow it.
Like you said, those thoughtswill come now.
Interestingly enough, this week,and I'm gonna share it here on
the podcast.
Mel Robbins, we all know who MelRobbins is, she's a phenomenal
woman.
She wrote the five-second rule.
Have you heard of that?
Oh, yes.
Okay, why not implement that,Melanie?
When those thoughts come, whydon't you do the five-second
(30:37):
rule and reframe those thoughtsimmediately?
Like just have a plan of actionso that you just step into the
action that you need to do.
Because we know, and I think Melknows too, that when that inner
voice, that wise inner voice istelling us, it's because that's
(30:58):
what we're meant to do.
The doubt comes from our pastprogramming, our ego identity,
and Satan.
Satan doesn't want us to stepinto that power because stepping
into that power means that weare moving the kingdom of God
forward, and he does not wantthat.
He wants to separate us from ourgreatness, our relationship with
(31:20):
oneself, with ourselves, withthat inner voice, with that
inner purpose.
He wants to cause division,kill, steal, and destroy our
joy.
And and we've got to staypresent to that idea that we
cannot allow our minds to get usout of our purpose.
(31:47):
That's it exactly.
And I think a big part of thatis setting boundaries.
Okay, setting boundaries umwithin ourselves.
Like I needed to set boundarieswith myself, almost more so than
I needed to set boundaries withother people uh when I started
out.
Because I was so used to beingthat I would say yes to
(32:09):
everything, and there was notime or energy left for me.
So by by setting boundaries tosay, no, I need this, then I'm
able to actually spend time inin love and in peace and in joy,
which I wouldn't get if I wassaying yes to doing the five
(32:31):
million things that are outoutside of me.
I think it comes back to beingand doing, but really having and
not putting up walls aroundyourself, you know, because you
don't want to build walls withother people, but having having
boundaries enough to say, thisis what I need, and it's okay, I
(32:51):
I will let people in, I can letlove in, but I can also keep
keep what needs to be out.
You know what I learned from myfriend yesterday, and it and it
speaks to what you justdiscussed early.
She stayed off of social mediacompletely after her divorce
(33:11):
because she didn't want to bearound the influences of these
people that could have come backto him and said, Oh, this is
what she's doing with her life,blah, blah, blah.
And I find that so interestingbecause a lot of people don't
realize how when you keepcertain influences around you,
it keeps you there stuck.
You know, that's that boundarywhere you just kind of lovingly
(33:34):
put those boundaries.
And yeah, you lose some people,but think about it.
Do you really want to keep thosepeople that are gonna be back
and forth between you and yourex?
You probably don't, because itit just serves you poison over
and over and over and overagain, like toxicity,
(33:54):
negativity.
That that will influence uh howyou live your life, how how you
project onto others.
It does affect your innercircle, your inner world, your
spouses, your children.
And we always want to show up tothe best of our abilities, like
the best of our skill set,because our kids are always
(34:15):
watching, they're always lookingat us as a model.
And you and I understand thatprobably at a much deeper level
because of the mistakes that ourparents probably made with us
subconsciously, they didn't knowany better.
SPEAKER_02 (34:34):
Here's the thing that that I think most people
miss is that whole concept ofignorance is bliss.
That is very, very true.
SPEAKER_01 (34:45):
The people are ignorant sometimes in the way
they're showing up in the worldbecause it's easier to be that
way.
It's a lot harder to work onourselves.
Now, initially, it seems like alot of work, but in the
refinement process, there's somuch joy because you the
(35:06):
revelation that the stuff thathe reveals to you as you're
going through that refinementpiece is what people don't
realize about the change and thebeauty and the opportunity that
change provides is how you youthe aha moments.
I won't ever forget the ahamoments I received sitting with
(35:30):
my pain, writing my first book,but getting that huge aha moment
of I finally seeing myself theway that God saw me.
My own definition of self-loveis that to love myself and see
myself the way he sees and lovesme.
Because the way he speaks to meis very gently and loving me.
(35:52):
I'm the one that talks to myselfin a very harsh tone like you.
Oh, I did.
I don't do it anymore because Irealized that my kids were
picking up on it, and theythemselves were reflecting their
their own little mirror to us.
We're like, yay, we taught themthat.
And so why are we upset at themfor that?
No, that means I've got tochange that in me.
(36:15):
It starts with you, it startswith the person in the mirror.
Absolutely, and as you raise up,you raise everybody else around
you up.
So I've noticed I've noticedthis very much with my son, but
I've also noticed it with myhusband.
It's amazing as I, you know,become fully embodied, how how
(36:38):
they are stepping up and moreinto the divine masculine.
And it is so amazing to watchand see them grow as people as
well.
Yeah, it's it's awesome.
It's awesome.
Thank you for all my goodness,for all your wisdom.
You have shared so much in thein the short time we've been
(36:59):
together.
Any last words of encouragementyou want to leave the listeners
with?
Um, if you are feeling likethings are really hard, like
you're under all that weight ofresponsibility, I just want to
tell you that you're not broken.
You're just tired of caring somuch.
And just take a breath.
(37:21):
And that's how it starts.
Just take one breath, put yourhands on your heart, and just
say, I'm still here and justlisten.
Listen to what your heart has tosay to you.
You just need one spark ofwillingness to start to rise.
SPEAKER_02 (37:39):
Oh my god, so good.
I almost want to just end itthere, but I always sign off the
same way to the listeners ofreleased out.
SPEAKER_01 (37:48):
Remember, Matthew 5.14 to be the light, be the
light like Melanie has been thelight today.
Rise from those ashes, don't letchange bully you into staying
where you're at.
But rise, rise to the level ofyour inner light.
Have a beautiful and blessed dayand week.
(38:11):
Love y'all.
Bye now.
SPEAKER_00 (38:17):
So that's it for today's episode of Release
Doubt, Reveal Purpose.
Head on over to iTunes orwherever you listen and
subscribe to the show.
One lucky listener every singleweek who posts a review on
iTunes.
We'll win a chance the grandprize drawing back to win a
$25,000 private VIP day withSylvia Worsham herself.
(38:40):
Be sure to head on over torelease out reveal
purposepodcast.com and pick up afree copy of Sylvia's gift and
join us on the next episode.
If you've ever struggled with fear, doubt, or
worry and wondering what yourtrue purpose was all about,
better then this podcast is foryou.
In this show, your host, SylviaWarsham, will interview elite
experts and ordinary people thathave created extraordinary
lives.
So here's your host, SylviaWarsham.
unknown (00:26):
I've still got a lot of fire left.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
Today is Melanie Roan.
She's coming out of Nova Scotia.
And when they sent me herCalendly application, if you
will, I read it and I thought,man, she's a soul sister.
She had been through the fire,and there's no doubt she has.
She has experienced burnout.
(00:53):
Who on this podcast listeninghas not experienced that?
When you start off in this firstact and you're living life based
on other people's expectationsand not based out of your own
light, out of your own soul'sdesires, but rather out of
fear-based belief systems.
We've all been there.
And when we start off on thatpath, initially it looks like
(01:16):
it's the greatest thing in theworld.
And then something happens.
And it stops us.
And that's what happened toMelanie.
But I don't want to give itaway.
So without further ado, Melanie,thank you so much for joining us
on Release Out Reveal Purpose.
Well, hi, Sylvia.
I'm so happy to be here.
And absolutely, I believe we aresoul sisters and soul spirits.
(01:37):
I'm kind of loving the fact thatyou're halfway around the world
and I'm in my little town inAustin, Texas, interviewing you.
And I just think it's so amazinghow people find each other and
connect.
And I I'm not amazed orsurprised anymore.
I know God is always perfect inhis timing because sometimes we
(02:03):
need each other to get throughthis next chapter that is
presented in our life.
If we're going through grief,like you and I were talking
about earlier, before we startedrecording, I've been in grief
and I have found that even ingrief, there can be joy and
there can be happiness andfulfillment within.
(02:32):
Oh, absolutely.
I think each and every one of usare holding something that that
may be sticking in our hearts.
Um, I'm I'm dealing with somesome grief of myself, uh, that
was from a loss of a child.
And it's it's amazing thatthere's so many beautiful things
(02:55):
and miracles that are happeningin the world, and there's still
this pain, and we need to beable to hold the the opposites,
as I was saying to you earlier.
Um and I love the fact that wecan hold those opposites, and
it's okay to smile when you'rein pain, and sometimes people
(03:16):
feel like they're not supposedto.
You know, I'm not supposed tofeel happy because I'm sad right
now, you know, or I'm notsupposed to feel grief because
it's a beautiful moment.
But if you've lost someonespecial and you're standing at a
wedding and you're missing thatperson, that's it's okay to feel
(03:38):
that moment of grief and let itpass through and still find joy
in the rest of the day.
I I'm so witty on that becausereally, as I was explaining to
you before, there is joy in thejourney.
I find that society, all thatnoise outside of us, is feeding
(04:03):
subconsciously these messagesthat joy is a destination, that
you're gonna get there and thenyou're gonna coast, and you're
never gonna have trials andtribulations.
And that's simply not true.
We have trials and tribulations,there's always joy in that
journey.
And what we can do is just staypresent in those moments that
(04:27):
you were talking about in thatwedding.
If it comes up, allow it,release it, release that doubt,
release that sadness, releasethat pain, and come back to your
present moment and really bethere for the bride and the
groom as you're standing in a ina wedding reception.
If the music starts and you wantto dance, you dance, no matter
(04:48):
what you face the day before.
Because these are the gifts ofjoy that we receive every single
day.
Those are the miracles that youwere talking about, but people
miss them because they're toobusy doing and not being
enjoyed.
Absolutely, absolutely.
I think we can spend so muchtime doing, doing, doing, doing,
(05:08):
and never any time just being.
And there is so much, there's somuch more to life when you're
when you're living from beingthan from having to prove and
earn and do all the time.
Yeah, and I know you have anamazing story of transformation
that speaks to this effect.
(05:29):
So, can you share with us howyou landed in this space that
you're now talking about burnoutand you're talking about
boundaries and self-respect?
Well, my moment came, right?
The day I was standing in whatused to be my home.
And it was just like twistedmetal and ashes.
There was a horrible fire, andthe fire took everything that I
(05:53):
thought was important, you know,everything that I thought
defined me.
But the truth came that my lifehad been burning down long
before that fire came because Iwas spending so much time
overgiving and people-pleasingand trying to be everything for
everyone, and I had nothingleft.
I had become so empty inside.
(06:15):
So as I sat there, I was like, Ididn't want to rebuild it the
way it was, it just didn't feelright.
It just stripped away everyillusion of control I had on my
life.
Um, and I had to face all thethings that I was avoiding.
Um and I think that was, I knowit sounds like a really harsh
(06:40):
story, but I I truly believethat God had given me like,
here's the nudge, here's theniggle, yes, you're you're
burning out, right?
Here's the two-life void.
Oh wait, Melanie needed the batthe Mac truck because she wasn't
listening.
And so um, even though I wasexhausted and scared and had no
(07:02):
idea what my life was gonna looklike, I was like, I am rising
out of this differently than Icame in.
And that's that's where thePhoenix path really began.
Oh my goodness.
The Mac truck, I'll have to usethat in a video because when we
when I said you and I were soulsisters, you were, I wasn't
(07:22):
kidding.
The Mac truck for me, you havethe fire, you know, burned down
your home and all thepossessions and everything that
you thought was important toyou.
And God was like, Oh, youdecided to take birth control
pills, let me use that choicefor my glory, of course, you
know, and I you're gonna get alittle bit of pain.
(07:44):
Here it comes, in the form ofpulmonary embolisms and budicare
syndrome, and now but carrysyndrome for those that don't
know, it's a beautiful name fora very deadly disease that is
like the clotting of the venacava and putting pressure on
liver, where you can go in acuteliver failure, and the death
rate of that is 80%, and that'swhat I faced in a hospital room.
(08:08):
So you're standing in front of ahouse that was burning down and
I was standing facing sixdoctors in my hospital room,
basically saying, Let me giveyou what you're facing.
You are 37 years old, you'redating the love of your life,
and and you have a little boy,and your mom's in the room, you
(08:31):
have pulmonary embolisms,they're everywhere in your
lungs.
We're surprised you're evenalive and walking.
You have this massive clot, andit's you have maybe a 20% chance
of surviving tonight, and you'lllikely have long-term
complications, right?
Because of the scarring in yourlungs.
(08:51):
So just kind of prepareyourself.
You may go into acute liverfailure, you see the three
doctors on your right, and I waslike, Yes, that's the transplant
team.
They're now in your case.
And I just sat there.
So, what do you do?
You know, I surrendered to Godbecause they weren't confident.
He's the the medical experts inthe biggest medical center in
(09:14):
Texas, which was um St.
Luke's Episcopal Hospital, andit's like where MD Anderson is
the big mega of medicine inTexas.
And they're not confident.
They're like, this girl's gonnadie.
But we're gonna do our best tosave her.
And so what do I do?
I say, okay, God, you you havemy attention.
(09:35):
Obviously, you needed myattention.
I'm all yours.
I've surrendered, you are incontrol.
It's it's your gig now.
And and that testimony isavailable on my website, on my
book, my free chapter is issomething that I give freely
because it is the moment thatshifted everything for me.
(10:03):
I was a highly successfulcorporate saleswoman.
I was top of my class, if youwill.
I was earning a really goodliving, but inside I was a shell
of a person.
And I wasn't happy.
I remember standing on stage andthinking, is this what happiness
(10:23):
is supposed to feel like?
You know, so when I say we're sosisters, oh yes, we are so
sisters because we have bothbeen through the fire and come
out stronger.
But it it's not always so easy,is it?
Like we see that and we think,okay, yeah, we're gonna start
moving in the right direction.
(10:43):
Was that it for you?
Or did you still go through somemajor hurdles to land where
you're at today?
Absolutely, absolutely.
I mean, it wasn't like I justgot up from the ashes and was
like, yay, I'm gonna restart mylife.
I sat there for a while, youknow.
And in the beginning, I thoughtburnout was just I needed more,
(11:04):
I needed better systems, Ineeded more discipline, you
know.
So even when everything wentquiet, um, and I realized how
much I was doing and not being,um, it really came down to I was
letting other people'sexpectations really rule how I
was running my my life.
And I still, you know, I'llstill go back and into those old
(11:29):
patterns.
Um, one of my mentors, she says,new level, old devil, because
you'll get to that next level,and then that same thing that
used to follow you comes back ina different way.
And you have to face it in adifferent way that you couldn't
have faced it before.
Um so it's funny, one of mygirlfriends says, it's not like
(11:51):
um she says, it's it's likecleaning out the refrigerator.
You're not gonna do it once andbe done.
It's gonna happen over and overand over again.
So it's okay if you fallbackwards and move forward
again.
So it's just figuring out whatyou actually need and shifting
into that.
That's when things change.
And when you said you sat therefor a while, how many years did
(12:13):
you sit in that?
Oh no, no, no, I I can't sit foryears to do anything.
Okay.
I'm always doing, right?
So um the fire happened almosttwo years ago to like next week.
So um I ran my first women'scircle.
(12:35):
I'd never run a women's circle.
I was a business strategistbefore.
I helped my my clients earnmillions, hundreds of millions
of dollars.
And that day with with the fire,I lost all my backups for all my
business stuff.
So I had a home office.
The backup company couldn'tbring back my backups, they were
like, it's all corrupt.
(12:55):
Like, what am I gonna do with mylife?
Um, so I sat in that for a fewfew months trying to make things
work and hobble things together.
And I was like, this is not Iwasn't happy before the fight.
Now I'm really not happy.
And um my my assistant, shesaid, Well, what do you want to
(13:16):
do?
And I sat with that for a bit.
And I'm like, I want to runwomen's circles.
She's like, What is that?
I'm like, I have no idea, butthat's what I'm gonna do.
So I went out and learned, Ilearned about women's circles, I
became a trauma-informedfacilitator.
Um, and that took me, that tookme almost a year.
My my first program, I ran it umalmost exactly a year to the day
(13:39):
of the fire.
So it took me about a year, andmy book um came out six months
after that.
SPEAKER_02 (13:46):
So what's the name of your book?
Decide my book.
SPEAKER_01 (13:49):
My book is called The Phoenix Path.
And it's a book, it's a woman'sguide to healing, rebuilding,
and rising stronger.
The Phoenix Path?
Yes.
Okay, and it's available, I'massuming, on Amazon, or where do
I get this?
Absolutely.
Amazon um has it uh around theworld as well as at the
(14:10):
phoenixpath.net.
Okay.
The phoenixpath.net.
Okay.
Well, that's good to knowbecause I'm definitely gonna
check it out after ourinterview.
Because I'm always one that'scurious to know about the guests
I bring on to release thatreview purpose.
And there's just so much depththat we can only cover in like
(14:33):
30 to 40 minutes.
And I want to know more aboutyou.
So I know that there are a lotof women who perhaps are in the
chapter that you and I were in,what tips would you give them?
Um I think the tip that I wouldlike to give you is that we
(14:57):
normalize a lot of the signs ofearly burnout.
And so if you're saying I'm finewhen you're not, or you're
feeling guilty for resting, oryou feel, you know, like you
shouldn't do things that bringyou joy, right?
You've got like that constantlow-grade exhaustion, that's the
beginning of burnout.
(15:19):
It's not just it, it's not justoh, I can't even think of the
right word, right?
It's survival mode.
If you're living in survivalmode, and on your way to
burnout, and so just step backand feel what's in your heart.
And if it says that you need torest, then you can rest and you
(15:41):
don't have to feel guilty aboutit.
You know what?
I'm not saying lie on the couchfor a week and binge watch TV,
but but it's okay to rest anddisconnect and and then come
back at things with with a clearheart.
SPEAKER_02 (15:58):
Do you find that when you do rest without the
noise of the outside world, thatthat inner voice speaks?
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Um and if your inner voice isspeaking to you and it is
critical, that is your ego.
That is not that is not thevoice of your higher self, it's
not the voice of God.
That is that is ego um trying tokeep you exactly where where you
(16:31):
were stuck.
And it's okay to let that go andbe kind and compassionate with
yourself.
And that was one that was hardfor me to learn.
Really?
Why?
Honestly, my inner voice wasvery, very harsh in the the
first, you know, 40 years of mylife, my inner voice was very
(16:52):
harsh.
And it wasn't until I startedmaking peace with all of the
grief and trauma and everythingthat was in my body that I could
let go of that harshness.
Um, and it's funny, that's thefirst chapter in my book, is all
on negative self-talk, becauseit's such a big piece for us as
women trying to carry everythingfor everyone else.
(17:15):
Um, we hear all those littlevoices gnattering in our heads.
It is, it's that inner criticthat uh Julia Cameron talks
about in the artist's way.
And you're right, you'reabsolutely right, that's your
ego.
Now, the ego is the self-imagefor those that are listening.
And if your self-image iscomprised of fear-based belief
(17:38):
systems, that's what's speakingto you.
That's what she means.
The programming, the modeling,the stuff that you haven't
healed, the unhealed wounds thatare informing you.
And so you must realize thatwhen it's doubt, that's not God.
God does not live in doubt.
God lives in joy and love andself-care and compassion and joy
(18:00):
and peace and gratitude.
And when you're in that space,that's where that inner voice,
that's your inner wisdom, that'syour soul speaking.
And I actually talk about thisin In Faith I Thrive, the book
that I was referencing in my myown book.
There's two identities thatbattle.
And and we feel it every day,the ego and the soul identity.
(18:23):
And that is like my own, my ownprocess of transformation that I
share in the book.
It's the five cycles oftransformation.
And it's when you hit change,change is is a very big thing,
and it's a very scary thing forpeople.
It's one of those fears thatthat I discovered when I was
interviewing people for thebook, men and women.
(18:43):
It's like, what is your greatestfear?
And they're like, fear ofchange, fear of the unknown.
It was like huge for them.
It was larger than fear of likepublic speaking or death or any,
I mean, like, fear of theunknown was just like, no, I
can't do that.
And so a lot of people wantcontrol.
And you were saying how in yourfirst chapter you're talking
about the negative self-talk,and I in my first chapter, I'm
(19:05):
talking about all the patternsof behavior that could possibly
come about at the moment oftrauma.
Because mine starts off with thetrauma I experienced as a
seven-year-old.
And one of the identities getsformed then, like the anxious
identity that followed me forover 40 years and still is.
I just discovered her.
(19:26):
Um, when I interviewed someoneuh recently on the podcast, and
I read her book, and there wassomething in her book that just
went, and I was like, oh, thatmakes sense.
That's my anxious seven-year-oldthat is constantly people
pleasing, trying to makeeverything right because
something happened between myfather and I.
And she shows up in conflictwith my husband all the time.
(19:49):
And she's the one that pursueshim, even though he's like, I'm
flooded, honey, I can't talkright now, and I need
reassurance and I need security.
It's that anxious little girl,she's seven.
And she just needs security.
She just needs to be spoken towith love by your present self
and say, hey, it's okay.
He's not going to abandon you.
(20:10):
You know, he just needs time tocool down.
And then you guys can talk.
It's okay.
But if you don't talk toyourself that way, if you're
constantly harshly criticizingyourself, you're going to stay
in that space a lot longer andnot actually have any revelation
whatsoever.
I found.
You know, and that's what keepsthat's what kept me stuck
(20:31):
forever.
Did that similar happen to you?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
So I did not grow up in thekindest environment.
And so I have inner child woundsthat need to be felt and cared
for.
So I can recognize now my innerteenager or my seven-year-old or
(20:55):
even my three-year-old who youknow wants to take the wheel.
And not let them take the wheelnow because before I didn't even
realize that their like innerchild was a thing.
It was just, you know, it wasjust, I was feeling all the
feels they weren't even real.
Yeah.
(21:16):
Yeah.
And you feel like this is youronly truth, and it's not.
It's the feeling part is what Ithink people hold on to too much
and real and think, oh, that'smy truth.
It depends because if theseidentities were formed long ago
when you were a little kid, whatit meant to you then and what it
(21:36):
means to you now is totallydifferent because you've grown.
And your mind has grown.
And you've grown out of theseidentities, but they're still
part of you.
And so it's it's it's uhaccepting that they're always
gonna be there.
It's kind of like um the moviewith uh Russell Crowe, where
he's that mathematician thatgets schizophrenia.
(21:57):
What's the name of it called?
Um, is that the beautiful mind?
The beautiful mind, where hesees the personalities walking,
he acknowledges them, but hechooses not to speak to them,
right?
So it's kind of similar to thatin that you see the
seven-year-old child and youassuage her fears and bring some
(22:21):
security and and sit yourteenage, in my case, bullied
self, who came up in conflict,all warrior-bound, like ready to
attack, because she had beenattacked so much for speaking
the truth that she shied awayfrom sharing the truth.
And my husband would always sayin conflict, like, why do you
shy away from truth?
Why don't you move, like, startwith truth and move from there?
(22:44):
And and I couldn't answer him, Icouldn't remember.
And then I read this girl,Alexis Lee's book, that that
podcast interview aired on 925of this year, and it was a
beautiful episode because Idon't think she realized how
much impact her book had meantto me.
(23:04):
And like you and I, she alsofaced that moment and everything
that life she had created, Godbasically told her, if you died
today, your life would have beena tragedy.
Because this is not basicallywho you were created to be.
And it came out of nowhere.
She was in Oregon and she waswalking in 2020.
(23:26):
And that, and interestinglyenough, she's on her way here to
see me tonight.
Like we're gonna see each othertonight, God willing.
And I'm gonna get to hug her andthank her for unlocking the last
piece of my puzzle that I waspraying for.
And this is this is how asindividuals we impact each
(23:49):
other's lives, and we are partof God's master plan.
And it's such a plan that is sovast in its how it helps others
that when we just solely focuson our little life, we don't see
that.
See, that's how God is like themaster of it all, because he
sees everything and everybody'swounds and and how everything
(24:12):
fits together and this big oldpuzzle that we're all living in.
And she didn't realize theimpact that book had had on
someone like me, and the impactit had on my family.
You know, and it's oh go ahead,it just gives us purpose, you
know, it just it affirms thatthat our gifts are meant to be
(24:38):
seen, are meant to be sharedwith the world, just like you're
sharing your gift with me today.
And with us listening.
It's funny that you say thatbecause sometimes we need a
reminder.
We need a reminder, and I I amso grateful because I think I
needed your reminder today, youknow, because there have been so
(25:01):
many books that have you knowreally impacted me.
And I just can't wait to circlewith more amazing authors all
the time and and get to knowkind of like what we're doing.
Like I just I love this piece somuch, and I shy away from it a
(25:23):
little bit at the same time.
Why do you shy away from it?
I think there's probably still alittle piece of you know,
there's there's a piece I needto unlock.
There's a visibility issue, um,so that I know that I struggle
with.
And I'm like, no, I'm going todo it anyway.
Like I've been on stages with athousand people, and at the same
(25:43):
time, I'm like, am I goodenough?
Do you like me?
You know, I want to make surethat everybody likes me, even
though I know I don't needeveryone to like me, and I don't
need to prove myself.
Um, there's still like thatlittle piece that you know wants
to to feel that I know what itis.
(26:04):
It's the it's the overachieverin me, right?
I want to tie my worth to myperformance.
Oh yeah.
And that has been like my MOsince I was a little girl.
SPEAKER_03 (26:14):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
So, right?
That's how we get that firstone.
Well, that's how we gainsignificance initially, right?
Absolutely.
So we all crave that.
We all crave to be seen andunderstood.
That's totally normal, it's sonatural.
However, the significance comesfrom the deeds, like the faith
(26:40):
in the deeds that we have andhow we impact others with those
deeds, right?
The significance comes from Him,from God.
It doesn't come from theapplause of others, although it
feels good.
It feels good, but the thing isit's not real because if you
(27:00):
remove that piece, what are youleft with?
Well, exactly, and that's why itcomes from within.
The significance comes fromwithin.
It doesn't come from the size ofyour paycheck.
I was there at one point.
Oh, I love the fact that Iearned six figures at Pfizer.
I was independent, I was thisfiery.
(27:22):
They used to call me the greatwhite at Pfizer because I would
come out of nowhere and attack,and and nobody knew what was
coming, you know.
I mean, I was I and I rolled inthat for a while.
But when I look back at my lifenow, I wouldn't give up my life
now, like today.
(27:44):
I just wouldn't, I wouldn't goback to that.
And I and I spoke to a formercolleague of mine advisor
yesterday, and she said, Oh, Imoved my job.
And I just thought to myself, Ilove my job now, and I love
empowering others, and I lovespeaking about him and speaking
about my faith as hard as it'sbeen, because when you step into
(28:05):
your purpose fully, like whereyou start leveling up, spiritual
warfare is gonna happen.
He's gonna attack.
And and it someone was tellingme recently, you must be doing
something right for him toattack you so much.
That's it exactly.
(28:26):
That's it exactly, you know.
Um there is there has to be asense of inner peace that you
have no matter what is going onin your world.
And I am so blessed that now Ihave that where I didn't two
years ago, I didn't have that.
And it's amazing to see I'mtotally different.
(28:50):
Like if you saw pictures of me,you wouldn't think that I was
the same person.
And it's amazing, it's amazing,and I think part of it is asking
yours yourself the question whatif I let this go and it all
falls apart?
You know, what if?
Yeah, what if you know it'salready probably falling apart.
Just you know, you're justtrying to hold all the little
(29:11):
pieces together.
You don't need to, right?
We can let go of all of thatfear and and move forward.
And the people who love us willbring us up, right?
As well as as well as you know,our our soul's purpose.
It will show up in our worldwhen we're finally willing to
(29:34):
let go of that, as I said, egobefore.
So we we let go of all of thecritical things and the roles
that you know started from whenwe were kids, it just becomes
this amazing life that I'mexcited to live.
And I want every single womanlistening to be excited to live
(29:55):
her life and become who she'smeant to become.
Yes, me too.
I want them to just step intothat light and not be afraid.
You know, don't let fear put youin the in a cage like they like
like it put Melanie and I.
And and it and it can it canstill have that potential if you
(30:16):
allow it.
Like you said, those thoughtswill come now.
Interestingly enough, this week,and I'm gonna share it here on
the podcast.
Mel Robbins, we all know who MelRobbins is, she's a phenomenal
woman.
She wrote the five-second rule.
Have you heard of that?
Oh, yes.
Okay, why not implement that,Melanie?
When those thoughts come, whydon't you do the five-second
(30:37):
rule and reframe those thoughtsimmediately?
Like just have a plan of actionso that you just step into the
action that you need to do.
Because we know, and I think Melknows too, that when that inner
voice, that wise inner voice istelling us, it's because that's
(30:58):
what we're meant to do.
The doubt comes from our pastprogramming, our ego identity,
and Satan.
Satan doesn't want us to stepinto that power because stepping
into that power means that weare moving the kingdom of God
forward, and he does not wantthat.
He wants to separate us from ourgreatness, our relationship with
(31:20):
oneself, with ourselves, withthat inner voice, with that
inner purpose.
He wants to cause division,kill, steal, and destroy our
joy.
And and we've got to staypresent to that idea that we
cannot allow our minds to get usout of our purpose.
(31:47):
That's it exactly.
And I think a big part of thatis setting boundaries.
Okay, setting boundaries umwithin ourselves.
Like I needed to set boundarieswith myself, almost more so than
I needed to set boundaries withother people uh when I started
out.
Because I was so used to beingthat I would say yes to
(32:09):
everything, and there was notime or energy left for me.
So by by setting boundaries tosay, no, I need this, then I'm
able to actually spend time inin love and in peace and in joy,
which I wouldn't get if I wassaying yes to doing the five
(32:31):
million things that are outoutside of me.
I think it comes back to beingand doing, but really having and
not putting up walls aroundyourself, you know, because you
don't want to build walls withother people, but having having
boundaries enough to say, thisis what I need, and it's okay, I
(32:51):
I will let people in, I can letlove in, but I can also keep
keep what needs to be out.
You know what I learned from myfriend yesterday, and it and it
speaks to what you justdiscussed early.
She stayed off of social mediacompletely after her divorce
(33:11):
because she didn't want to bearound the influences of these
people that could have come backto him and said, Oh, this is
what she's doing with her life,blah, blah, blah.
And I find that so interestingbecause a lot of people don't
realize how when you keepcertain influences around you,
it keeps you there stuck.
You know, that's that boundarywhere you just kind of lovingly
(33:34):
put those boundaries.
And yeah, you lose some people,but think about it.
Do you really want to keep thosepeople that are gonna be back
and forth between you and yourex?
You probably don't, because itit just serves you poison over
and over and over and overagain, like toxicity,
(33:54):
negativity.
That that will influence uh howyou live your life, how how you
project onto others.
It does affect your innercircle, your inner world, your
spouses, your children.
And we always want to show up tothe best of our abilities, like
the best of our skill set,because our kids are always
(34:15):
watching, they're always lookingat us as a model.
And you and I understand thatprobably at a much deeper level
because of the mistakes that ourparents probably made with us
subconsciously, they didn't knowany better.
SPEAKER_02 (34:34):
Here's the thing that that I think most people
miss is that whole concept ofignorance is bliss.
That is very, very true.
SPEAKER_01 (34:45):
The people are ignorant sometimes in the way
they're showing up in the worldbecause it's easier to be that
way.
It's a lot harder to work onourselves.
Now, initially, it seems like alot of work, but in the
refinement process, there's somuch joy because you the
(35:06):
revelation that the stuff thathe reveals to you as you're
going through that refinementpiece is what people don't
realize about the change and thebeauty and the opportunity that
change provides is how you youthe aha moments.
I won't ever forget the ahamoments I received sitting with
(35:30):
my pain, writing my first book,but getting that huge aha moment
of I finally seeing myself theway that God saw me.
My own definition of self-loveis that to love myself and see
myself the way he sees and lovesme.
Because the way he speaks to meis very gently and loving me.
(35:52):
I'm the one that talks to myselfin a very harsh tone like you.
Oh, I did.
I don't do it anymore because Irealized that my kids were
picking up on it, and theythemselves were reflecting their
their own little mirror to us.
We're like, yay, we taught themthat.
And so why are we upset at themfor that?
No, that means I've got tochange that in me.
(36:15):
It starts with you, it startswith the person in the mirror.
Absolutely, and as you raise up,you raise everybody else around
you up.
So I've noticed I've noticedthis very much with my son, but
I've also noticed it with myhusband.
It's amazing as I, you know,become fully embodied, how how
(36:38):
they are stepping up and moreinto the divine masculine.
And it is so amazing to watchand see them grow as people as
well.
Yeah, it's it's awesome.
It's awesome.
Thank you for all my goodness,for all your wisdom.
You have shared so much in thein the short time we've been
(36:59):
together.
Any last words of encouragementyou want to leave the listeners
with?
Um, if you are feeling likethings are really hard, like
you're under all that weight ofresponsibility, I just want to
tell you that you're not broken.
You're just tired of caring somuch.
And just take a breath.
(37:21):
And that's how it starts.
Just take one breath, put yourhands on your heart, and just
say, I'm still here and justlisten.
Listen to what your heart has tosay to you.
You just need one spark ofwillingness to start to rise.
SPEAKER_02 (37:39):
Oh my god, so good.
I almost want to just end itthere, but I always sign off the
same way to the listeners ofreleased out.
SPEAKER_01 (37:48):
Remember, Matthew 5.14 to be the light, be the
light like Melanie has been thelight today.
Rise from those ashes, don't letchange bully you into staying
where you're at.
But rise, rise to the level ofyour inner light.
Have a beautiful and blessed dayand week.
(38:11):
Love y'all.
Bye now.
SPEAKER_00 (38:17):
So that's it for today's episode of Release
Doubt, Reveal Purpose.
Head on over to iTunes orwherever you listen and
subscribe to the show.
One lucky listener every singleweek who posts a review on
iTunes.
We'll win a chance the grandprize drawing back to win a
$25,000 private VIP day withSylvia Worsham herself.
(38:40):
Be sure to head on over torelease out reveal
purposepodcast.com and pick up afree copy of Sylvia's gift and
join us on the next episode.
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