What if everything you’ve been taught about fear, love, and even spirituality is too small for who you really are? Today, we sit down with Christian de la Huerta to trace a raw, hopeful path from paralyzing shyness and self-hatred to self-love, purpose, and relationships that actually work. His story spans cultural pressure, misreadings of religion, and the long shadow of depression—and lands in a place of clarity, courage, and grounded joy.
Our conversation reframes spirituality versus dogma. We explore how mistranslated texts have fueled exclusion, why breath is a universal doorway to the sacred, and how a namaste ethic—honoring the divine in each other—raises the bar on morality beyond rule-following to do no harm and live with reverence.
Along the way, Christian introduces his books on empowerment and conscious relationships, with clear guidance on avoiding common traps like settling, ignoring red flags, and expecting a partner to make you happy.
If you’re ready to trade anxiety for agency, confusion for conscious love, and smallness for a more authentic self, this one’s for you. Listen, reflect, and take one bold step beyond your comfort zone today. If the episode moved you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
To connect with Christian or purchase his latest book, Conscious Love: Transforming Our Relationship to Relationships visit his website: www.soulfulpower.com
To download a free chapter of host Sylvia Worsham's bestselling book, In Faith, I Thrive: Finding Joy Through God's Masterplan, purchase any of her products, or book a call with her, visit her website at www.sylviaworsham.com
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
If you've ever struggled with fear, doubt, or
worry, and wondering what yourtrue purpose was all about, then
this podcast is for you.
In this show, your host, SylviaWorston, will interview elite
experts and ordinary people thathave created extraordinary
lives.
(00:22):
So here's your host, SylviaWorston.
SPEAKER_01 (00:29):
Hey my priest, it's Sylvia Worstham.
Welcome to the Restop ReviewPrepast.
And today is Christian Deletta.
And he has an amazing story oftransformation this channel.
That's a lovely day.
Christian, thank you so much forjoining us today on this
channel.
SPEAKER_05 (00:45):
Hey Sylvia.
So happy to be here.
Thanks so much for having me.
SPEAKER_01 (00:50):
It's awesome.
The first goal round there wassome flexibility issues, and I
always am open to that becauseif it's got to rule to have the
enemy, it's gonna happen.
So it doesn't matter whether ithappens then or it happens now.
There is a purpose to things inlife.
So tell me, Christian, where areyou at?
SPEAKER_05 (01:12):
Right now I'm in South Florida at a friend's
place that he kind of rented onAirbnb in Florida.
My family's in Miami, uh, but Istay up here when I'm down here.
I've been nomadic for the last,wait, three, four years since
the pandemic.
SPEAKER_01 (01:30):
You know, I find that a lot of people are
nowadays because you can takeyour work wherever you go,
especially the kind of work youdo.
And so it doesn't matter whereyou're at, as long as you're
present and you're doing theseinterviews and you're sharing
your wisdom.
SPEAKER_05 (01:48):
Exactly.
I mean, that's that's what freedme up is I used to do, and I and
I'm starting to do them again,live events, um, you know,
workshops, retreats.
Uh, but the pandemic, right, itcouldn't.
So then I realized I'm doingmost of my work now online.
I can be anywhere.
Yeah.
I just need good Wi-Fi.
SPEAKER_01 (02:09):
Yeah, that's all the meaning.
And I was really like hopingthat my Wi-Fi was gonna work
properly this morning.
I was over at a neighbor's housejust recently um like an hour
ago, actually, because my Wi-Fiwas failing and my husband then
texted me, hey, the Wi-Fi isback on.
So then I walked over the twohouses down to meet with you
(02:33):
right now.
So I find when it's good, man,it's gonna happen whether we're
in alignment or not.
SPEAKER_05 (02:40):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
So I mean an amazing story of transformation,
Christian.
Can you share with us how youlanded in the spot you're in
currently?
SPEAKER_05 (02:51):
Wow, I mean, that's a long story.
SPEAKER_01 (02:53):
Um We have time.
SPEAKER_05 (02:56):
The highlights.
I was born in Cuba, uh, so livedunder communism for the first 10
years of my life.
Came to the US with my family,went to high school and college
here.
Um, you know, what what I thinkthe the the aspect of my
transformation that would behelpful for your audience is
(03:17):
that I I was so painfully shy asa teenager.
Like painfully.
I was okay one-on-one.
But if you added a third human,forget it.
I clammed up.
And yet I knew that I havealways had a sense of mission, a
sense of purpose.
Um and so I knew that if I wasgonna fulfill that purpose, that
(03:38):
I had to get over that fear.
Because that I knew that wasgonna entail speaking in public,
and forget that.
That wasn't even a possibility.
Uh so through a series of ofchoices and experiences that I
set myself up for, I was able totransmute that that fear, that
(03:59):
self-doubt, that self-hatredinto self-confidence.
And uh if I know that if thatcan happen in me, that can
happen in anybody.
SPEAKER_03 (04:12):
That's awesome.
Because you know, there's a lotof kids out there that are very
shy.
SPEAKER_01 (04:19):
I know mine claims to be shy.
I don't I don't believe that fora second.
My 10-year-old saying, I'm shy,my you used to not be.
I would do these videos duringthe pandemic times and you would
appear in the video.
And now she started to reappearin my podcast interviews.
She will walk behind me at timesand and showcase like a little
(04:42):
note.
So I find that when you put yourmind to it, when you have an
intention set up, I am going toconquer these fears.
I find that it happens moreoften than not.
What do you think are thechallenges that people face when
(05:04):
they can't get out of their ownheads?
SPEAKER_05 (05:07):
Oh my god, it's it's I don't believe in hell, like
technically.
Um I think hell is a state ofmind, just a state of
consciousness that that we placeourselves into.
I don't believe in a punitiveGod.
But this life like inside of ourheads can be heaven or it can be
(05:29):
hell.
Um and I think the the thesource of the problem is that we
don't really understand who weare.
Like we don't really understandwhat makes us do the things we
do.
And and the tragic part of it isthat many of us try to run away
from those questions, from thedeep existential questions.
(05:52):
Who are we?
You know, who are we?
What are we doing here?
What's this life about?
Why do we do the things we do?
Um, why do we get find ourselvesstuck in certain patterns of
relationships that sometimesfeels like it's the same boring
movie, only with a differentdifferent lead, you know, a
different co-lead, but the samepatterns, the same crap, the
same argument.
(06:12):
So to me, there's no way aroundthat.
If you want to be free, if youwant to really discover who we
are, like we gotta go with it.
We have to be willing to dothat, and as opposed to what a
lot of people do, which isself-medicate, run away from.
And self-medicate, whether it'sfood or substances or or drugs
or work or gaming in thecomputer, whatever it is, all
(06:36):
the activities that we do tokeep us from looking within.
And and to go back to that fearquestion, because I I think that
is so relevant too.
And this is this is before evenknowing what we're talking
about, which is how to transcendfear.
Um it's kind of what I did.
But but here's a really quickmodel.
(06:57):
It's from a book by SusanJeffers, Seth Jeffers, titled
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
So imagine this concentriccircle.
This inner circle represents ourcomfort zone.
This is where we're comfortablenow, being in the world, being
with other humans, just being soevery time we take a little
(07:19):
step, a tiny little step, or itcould be a huge leap.
But we establish ourselvesbeyond that comfort zone at the
next circle, at the next level.
And imagine if we did that, likeonce a week, we did something
that had a stretch that has hasyou know makes us stretch beyond
our comfort zone.
(07:39):
Whether that's saying yes andgoing on a coffee date with
somebody, or whether it's sayingyes and taking on a project at
work that we don't feel quiteready for, or we say yes to an
invitation to speak in publicwhen that terrifies us.
Each time we do that, we'reexpanding that comfort zone and
(08:00):
it doesn't uh retract.
Like we're settling ourselves inthose expanded comfort zones.
SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
I actually love that visual that you provided.
Something I used to use a lot inmy talks was the law of the
rubber band, because it talksabout the same thing.
And if you think of a rubberband, you think of your if you
were to take uh a rubber bandand stretch it from your chin
(08:27):
out to as further that you cantake it, the chin represents the
comfort zone, and the furthestpoint is your capacity zone.
And in between is the tensionyou're creating.
So it's the goals you're settingup to create a little bit of
tension, not a whole lot,because if you create too much
(08:48):
tension for people that arecreating new habits, it will the
deception of the subconsciousmind will kick in and it'll help
help quit their their capacityzone kind of like goal-reaching
capacity, right?
So we always tell people it'syou want to create a little bit
(09:09):
of tension, you want to increaseyour heart rate a little bit,
but not so much so that it'sgonna stop your heart.
SPEAKER_05 (09:18):
Yeah, you can pop that rubber rubber band and
bring it back, right?
SPEAKER_01 (09:22):
Into the comfort zone.
That would be bad.
But you do want to create alittle bit of tension.
And so the goals that you'resetting up in your life, or the
habits, if you will, to get outof that fear zone is so that you
can start visualizing, you know,that big bold life that you want
(09:42):
and that you desire.
But to do that, you have to giveyour mind kind of like a GPS
system.
It's gotta have a guiding, aguidance to it, and the goals
are the guidance to it.
And it's it's it's kind ofmoving slowly to that capacity
zone.
And the more you do it, the moreyou're empowered to do it.
(10:05):
And by the time you turn around,you've already created the
identity of someone that's outof their comfort zone and
completely immersed in theircapacity zone.
And then from that point on,then you do it again.
It's like, okay, well, now I'mhere.
Where do I want to level up to?
So those kids that love videogames, I always tell them this
way it's like life is like avideo game.
(10:26):
You're constantly leveling up.
And you're developing skillsthat you practice to make them
permanent to be able to level upto the next level.
That's all we're doing in life,really.
SPEAKER_05 (10:40):
I like that.
I like that visual.
SPEAKER_01 (10:42):
And so, you know, for kids that get overwhelmed,
because nowadays I see kids getoverwhelmed very quickly.
They want things now, they don'twant to work at it.
They don't, it's like ourcultures are very, very
different.
I don't know if you'veexperienced that, Christian, or
not.
SPEAKER_05 (10:59):
Yeah, no, I agree with you.
I think, I mean, our wholesociety has trained us to be
that, right?
They want that immediategratification.
Um, and I think the the computergaming industry even reinforces
that even more.
Like that you're always goingfor that extra bell or star or
fireworks.
(11:19):
Um and you know, life doesn'treally work that way.
Life requires work and requirespresence and requires that
ability to to go within and toif you want to be really
successful at it, I think youhave to go within and you have
to, like we were talking aboutearlier, ask yourself, face
(11:40):
yourself, not run away fromyourself.
SPEAKER_03 (11:44):
Yes, and you said you talked about self-hatred.
SPEAKER_01 (11:49):
Can you touch a little bit more on that?
Because there are quite a fewpeople out there that probably
are in this space that don'tknow quite how to get out of
there.
Can you shed some light on that?
SPEAKER_05 (12:04):
Sure.
Um, I mean I can start bytelling you that my adolescence
was one long depression withsuicidal fantasies.
Um and it was an effort to tryto fit in a in a culture in a
religion that didn't have roomfor me.
(12:24):
So I grew up Catholic, and Iknow you did as well.
And and yet from an ear an earlyage, even before I did anything
about it, I knew that I was gay.
And so there was part of me thathad this really genuine desire
to to be spiritual, to to knowGod, to even to serve God.
I I thought I I thought I wasgonna be uh a priest when I was
(12:47):
in high school.
Um and then there was this otherpart of me that was deep, dark,
secret that nobody knew about.
Um and that you know, I thoughtI was told that I was gonna burn
burn in hell for eternity.
And you know being young, likeyoung and asking a priest once,
how long how long is eternityexactly?
(13:10):
And he used, you know, I'm Cubanborn, so we could you know he
used an um an island metaphor.
He said, Well, imagine you'regonna go to the beach and you
bring a thimble with you, andyou use that thimble to start
taking water out of the ocean.
That's eternity.
Which of course terrified me.
SPEAKER_03 (13:29):
Of course.
That you know, that makes mesad.
SPEAKER_01 (13:35):
And I'll tell you why, because I left the Catholic
uh religion when I divorced,because they didn't accept
divorce back in those years.
SPEAKER_04 (13:45):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (13:46):
Now it's shifted.
You you see the shifts a lot,it's become a lot more modern in
our old.
I don't know if you're stillCatholic, but I've left it.
And when I married my secondhusband, he was late
Pentecostal, and I was like, No,I'm not doing that.
And he and he said, Well, I'mgonna be Catholic, and I said,
Well, I don't want to do thateither.
(14:07):
And he said, Well, what do youwant to do?
And I said, Well, what about anon-denominational Christian?
Right?
And the church we landed at herein Austin, I love their motto,
no perfect people allowed.
And I love that because we'renot perfect, we're nowhere near
perfect.
And they've actually touched ongay people in the church.
(14:31):
Our senior pastor, the seniorfounding pastor John Burke, who
became a New York Timesbest-selling author with his
book, Just Imagine or ImagineHeaven, based on near-death
experiences.
Very good book, by the way.
Wow.
But going back to what he saidin one of the sermons was
homosexuality, um, that theBible scripture actually meant
(14:56):
pedophilia as being theabomination and not
homosexuality, but that thetranslation from Greek, because
a lot of the text was in Greek,they or ancient texts, people
misinterpreted, miscommunicatedthat.
So for a long time, theycommunicated that as being
homosexuality, when in reality,that's not what they're talking
(15:19):
about.
And so there's a lot ofacceptance.
We teach in our home, we teachour kids acceptance, not
tolerance.
To me, tolerance is a negativeword, and it's like, well, you
you know, you have to do it thisway.
No.
Acceptance is people are allowedin our home to love whomever
(15:40):
they want.
And I had a gay cousin uhgrowing up, and I remember he
his family doesn't know he'sgay.
In fact, they deny it, eventhough we all know he's gay.
And when he came to see me uhabout 30 years ago, he uh he was
in my home and I and I said,Hey, you're always welcome in my
(16:04):
home with your partner.
And he just bursts out cryingbecause he just he had never
felt accepted by any of us, andhe felt accepted by me and by my
mother.
How beautiful is that?
You know, and my mom, she'sturning 85 this year, you know,
and is one of the most acceptingpeople out there, and she
(16:26):
doesn't, and she hails from theMexican side and Catholic, which
a lot of people initially say soclose-minded, not all of us are
like that.
That's true, you know, not allof us are like that, and and I
think you'd find that now moreand more there's a lot more
acceptance of it, and I'mgrateful for that because
(16:48):
there's just I just can'timagine that people would choose
to put themselves in a positionto be, you know, like how you
were feeling that self-hatred.
Who would willingly do that tothemselves?
You know, and it doesn't makesense, it's not logical.
And so I always tell my mychildren, like one time we were
(17:09):
walking at the mall, and mylittle girl, she was little, she
was like five, and she said,Mom, um, why are those two men
with the baby?
And I said, Oh, they're acouple, honey, just very
natural.
SPEAKER_04 (17:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:20):
And and it's like, oh, isn't it supposed to be a
man and a woman?
I said, you know, it could bethe man and a woman, it could be
a man and a man, it could be awoman and a woman.
As long as that child has lovein their life, it doesn't
matter.
unknown (17:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:34):
You know, in our in our home.
SPEAKER_05 (17:36):
So that's beautiful of what you're the values that
you're teaching your daughter.
And and and I think it's reallyimportant to do to the
differentiation you're making,the nuance between tolerance and
and real acceptance.
Yeah.
And I want to go back to what towhat you were referencing, you
know, the Bible.
Because there are only sixtexts.
(17:56):
Like six mentions that refer toor are said to refer to, that
are used to condemn.
You know, LGBTQ people.
And and homosexuality inparticular.
But the thing about those thosetexts is that they have been
translated, retranslated,mistranslated, misinterpreted.
(18:19):
Like there's one of those thatwhere the sin was supposed to be
just being unwelcome tostrangers, unkindness to
strangers, and yet it wasmistranslated, um, and then and
then used to persecute uh gaypeople.
Uh so and and you know, it'slike I I know what you're saying
(18:41):
about the the how the church ischanging.
And and you know, even the newPope and this the last one give
me a little bit of hope.
Personally, you know, wherewhere it's women are not even
considered equal, where womenare not allowed to be priests.
(19:02):
Um and I know that in theultimate sense they are
considered equal, but in theday-to-day, it's like, come on.
Um and you know, I just I'm notgonna sit around and white
personally.
SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
No, no, and the thing there's a huge difference,
Christian, I think, in religionand faith.
There's there's an enormousdifference.
Most people use itinterchangeably, you know, and I
always correct my husbandbecause he, well, you're
religious.
I said, no, sir, I'm not.
I'm actually faith-based.
And the reason why I say that isfaith to me is relationship with
(19:39):
God.
Like straight relationship.
I don't need to go through apriest to talk to him.
If I want to talk to him today,I I choose to do that today, you
know.
Um I also find that a lot ofpeople today, in fact, I had a
good friend of mine ask me, theydon't even, there's no
(20:02):
relationship or connection withyour inner self.
You don't even know whether yourego is speaking to you or your
soul.
I had a friend that asked me, Idon't even know how to discern
between when God is prompting meto do something and when it's my
mind telling me something.
And so I always tell her, I waslike, you know, when it's doubt
(20:22):
and fear and scarcity, that'syour mind.
That's the programming that youhave fed it over time.
That's the modeling you receive,that's the environment that you
find yourself in, all thesubliminal messages.
You have to be aware of what'swhat you're allowing to
influence you.
Who is you're allowing to speakinto you?
(20:44):
Are they bringing you light?
Are they bringing you darkness?
Are they taking your light?
Things like that.
It all impacts.
The mind has no filter, the thesubconscious part of the mind.
So it's just gonna takeeverything in and form belief
systems, whether they're real ornot.
SPEAKER_03 (21:03):
Truth or not.
SPEAKER_05 (21:04):
Yes.
Yeah, I agree.
I think I think the mind is whatkeeps us from God.
And I'm more like in thespiritual, not religious
category.
I honor all traditions, I alsochallenge them all.
Um, you know, I think I think ofreligion and spirituality as
(21:25):
like if you can see an exquisiteswimming pool, perfect
temperature, refreshing,beautifully landscaped, with a
bunch of diving boardssurrounding it.
To me, those are the religions,right?
That to the degree that theyhelp us dive into that, you
know, whatever you want to callthat, um, then they're doing
(21:47):
their job.
But to the degree that they'rethey're getting into what I call
the theological pissing contest,you know, my God is bigger than
yours, and and that they'recausing guilt and s and fear and
and separation between people,then I beg to differ.
You know, then then that's thepart that I challenge.
Um and and you know, one of thethings that I've I'm so grateful
(22:11):
that I was able to navigate thatquestion of who am I, and and
and realize that we all areinherently spiritual because
that's our nature.
And it's just as ludicrous totry to reject part of who we are
as human, like our sexuality,like I tried to do, and I know m
(22:31):
countless other people have doneas well, or our spirituality,
which which understandably a lotof people who have been uh burnt
and hurt by religion also triedto do.
But to me, it's just part of whowe are.
It's like it's it's I lovedShardan, you know, theologian
Toyar the Shardan, his quotethat we are spirits having a
(22:54):
physical experience for one timeor many times, depending on your
system of belief.
Um, and and to me that's what myspiritual um expression is more
into.
SPEAKER_01 (23:09):
Okay, so can you dive a little bit deeper into
that because I know people usethe word spirituality and they
mean faith, and vice versa.
So can you distinguish betweenthe two then?
SPEAKER_05 (23:22):
Yeah, I don't I don't use the word faith often.
I mean I I I read it a lot, youknow, it's faith-based.
Um to me, to me that I don'tbelieve in abominations, but if
I were to believe in anabomination, to me that's the
externalization of the sacred.
You know, where we have placedanything that's that's we
(23:45):
consider sacred or holy, weplace it way away from us.
How much further could we haveplaced heaven?
And where the hell is heavenanyway?
Right, where to me, I butspirituality if you look at the
Latin root of it, it's isspidade, which from that root we
get both respiration andinspiration, expiration.
(24:09):
So to me, that's what spirit is,you know.
Like if you if we're gonnaconnect it to holy text, you
know, God breathed life intothat.
That's the spirit.
To me, religion, though thatword still comes from also comes
from a Latin, religare, whichmeans to bind, to rebind.
Um which understandably I youunderstand that it probably
(24:30):
means rebinding to the to the tothe sacred, but it still feels a
little I don't know, restrictivein my sense, in in my
perceptions.
Where spirituality feels a lotmore open, a lot more flowing,
um, a lot more inclusive.
It's you know, it's the breath,the breath of life.
The breath is our most loyal,our most faithful companion in
(24:54):
this journey of embodiment.
And if we look through if welook at the different religious
traditions in the world, in themajority of them, almost all of
them, and even some secularlanguages, one word can mean
breath or spirit.
SPEAKER_03 (25:09):
Um so it's the same for you.
SPEAKER_05 (25:11):
The breath is spirit.
unknown (25:13):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (25:14):
I find it interesting, yeah.
Don't tell me that God iseverywhere except for right
here.
And in particular, it's God iseverywhere except for the
genitals and the bedroom.
But that's a differentconversation.
SPEAKER_01 (25:33):
Here's the here's the thing.
I you know what's coming to mindas you're talking is Napoleon
Hill.
SPEAKER_03 (25:39):
There was a uh the thinking grew rich.
SPEAKER_01 (25:45):
I did a very extensive study on it because as
part of the John Maxwell team,as one of the coaches, they kind
of have us go through some ofthese studies to really
understand.
And Napoleon talked a lot abouthow God shows up.
You know, God is a spirit insideof us and he comes in through
thoughts.
(26:05):
The thought that is, in my case,a persistent thought that just
comes out of nowhere, thatdoesn't kind of align to what my
doubt is telling me to do.
Um that's how he shows up forme.
And he talked about sexualitythere, not quite in the context
that we're talking in, but hedid say, you know, the oneness
(26:28):
piece is the sexuality piecethat scripture talks about in
marriage as well.
It's this oneness with spirit,oneness with one with ourselves.
And and it's the same likeconcept throughout uh scripture.
The more we become one with him,the more we're in alignment in
(26:49):
our thoughts, in our hearts, inour heart space.
So I find that I can see bothfaith and spirituality kind of
flowing more with each otherthan religion.
Religion is to me man-made, andit's something that Christ
Himself didn't uh feel attunedto when he was here on earth.
(27:10):
He actually rejected thePharisees.
That's what most people forget.
I find that so interestingbecause he would do things that
were rebellious in those years.
He included women in hisministry, which back in those
years was unheard of.
Like if now the Catholics don'tsee the women as equal images
(27:31):
then, how that would have comeacross to them that here's this
person claiming to be you knowGod Himself and the Son of God,
and and he's including women inhis ministry.
SPEAKER_05 (27:43):
And he's getting considered property, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (27:47):
Um and their people, the women in his ministry were
actually helping manage thefinances and in some cases
providing the finances for hisministry.
I find that so interesting.
I also find it interesting thathe sat with who he claimed, or
what people claimed to be theoutcasts of society in those
(28:08):
years.
Tax collectors, thieves, youknow, adulterers, the lepers,
the lepers, you know, and so Ialways had a post not too long
ago that said, I wonder whatJesus would what his opinion
would be about um people thatexclude others based on their
(28:31):
sexuality.
I wonder what his opinion wouldbe, considering how he showed up
in his ministry.
And then I kind of went throughthe whole process that I'm
discussing with you now sayinghe actually the Pharisees were,
I mean, they're the ones thatcondemned him, right?
The ones that brought him to getexecuted, pretty much, the ones
that were promoting itprimarily.
(28:53):
And so you see religion and himnot really going side to side.
So I always find thatinteresting.
And then I figure it's like hewas more about relationship with
people, and he was about love,he was about love and
connection.
SPEAKER_05 (29:12):
That's it.
It is it, as simple as that, andyou know, it's it's interesting
because the the reason he buckedheads with the Pharisees was
because they were so preoccupiedabout dogma and doing things the
way they were supposed to do.
The law.
This is the law, this is theonly way.
This is you know, these are mythings.
Too many Christians do that now.
(29:34):
Unfortunately, yes.
Unfortunately.
SPEAKER_01 (29:47):
I agree, I agree, and and it I always say, you
know, the mission that he has meon, aside from this podcast,
was.
They get my life cheap.
You know something people arereally pissed off at you.
(30:09):
Don't find them and bring themback to me.
SPEAKER_05 (30:10):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (30:11):
And share the love that I have for them.
Share who I my character.
Like, don't let people talk badabout me.
Don't let them use my name andjust create these things that
are not true.
Because when you look atscripture, when you actually
read it, and even in the OldTestament, which scares most
(30:33):
people to death.
I knew it scared me too when Iread Job and you had me reading
Job.
I'm like, please don't put methrough this test.
I don't think I'm up for it.
But I could see his character,how faithful he was to people,
how many times he forgave them,how many chances he gave people.
When you see that over and overand over again in his word, you
(30:56):
can't help but think he is aloving God.
He is someone that wants thebest for you.
Um He wants you to have more joythan you could ever fathom.
You know, because the the ideasthat we have in our mind of what
we think joy is gonna be are sofar in our first act.
(31:17):
I know for me it was all aboutthe achievement.
The more I achieved, accordingto me, as a 20-year-old, the
more I the happier I would be.
And when I got to the pinnacleof my success at Pfizer, and I'm
standing in front of 300 of mypeers, and I'm the number one
saleswoman at Pfizer in thecountry.
I'm like, is this it?
(31:38):
Is this what happiness is about?
Right?
And then and then somethingalmost always happens.
Something shifts our view, ourlens.
In my case, I received aboutthree medical miracles in 72
hours, things that I should havenever survived, and yet I did.
(32:00):
And then I had a very strong umencounter with um Christ in the
ICE.
And it was undeniable.
The love that I felt was a loveI have never felt on this earth.
It is so accepting, it is sonurturing.
(32:22):
I felt like I was being cradledby him and he and he and a peace
washed over me, a peace that isnot of this earth, that only he
can provide.
When I when you have experienceslike that and you and you live
your life in connection withhim, like I have, it's really
(32:43):
hard for me to say there is noGod, there is no oneness, there
is no higher level ofconsciousness because I have
experienced it.
SPEAKER_05 (32:52):
Beautiful.
You know what is that and youthink about it so beautifully
from personal experience, likesomebody who knows.
This is not something you youread in a book.
SPEAKER_04 (33:01):
No.
SPEAKER_05 (33:02):
Um and that's what makes it so authentic and so
powerful.
If I can go back for a minuteand just clarify that I'm not
advocating amorality or a lackof morality, like I am
profoundly moral and I have adeep sense of what's right and
what's wrong.
It's something that I've had towork out for myself.
Right?
Because if if I wasn't gonna goby texts that were written
(33:25):
thousands of years ago andtranslated too many times at a
time when women were not evenhuman, that were property, like
then what am I gonna go by?
What?
But you know, how will how am Igonna determine what's what's
right and what's wrong?
And you know, it was years ofsearching and figuring it out.
But and and I write about it inthis last book, in which I write
(33:46):
about conscious relationshipsand conscious love and and what
it means to to to haverelationships consciously.
And I have a whole section onsexuality and spirituality in
which I get into morality.
And and so to me, I have likedifferent faces of it.
I'm not gonna get into all of itnow.
To me, the the deepest, to thehighest sense of morality is
(34:08):
what I call a namaste um stateof mind, right?
Namaste, as you know fromHinduism, it's it's the sacred
in me, uh, the love in me, theGod in me, whatever words, the
beauty in me that sees andacknowledges and bows to that in
you.
So if we were if we were to livefrom there, right, how could I
(34:31):
possibly steal from you or orkill you, or or rape you, or
invade your country?
Um So to me, like it it's it'sthe highest way that we can be
that that it precludes doingharm.
The most basic way is do noharm, right?
That's that's the most basicmorality.
(34:51):
Do no harm.
And I honor, that's one of thefew rules that I live by.
Uh but then I started finefine-tuning the different levels
of morality and navigating, howwe navigate and figure out for
us for ourselves what's rightand what's wrong.
And that's what I landed on,right?
Namaste.
I can see that in you, how can Ido harm to you?
(35:15):
Um, and because ultimately weare an expression of that.
If we're gonna go with God iseverywhere, God is omnipresent,
then it's in me and it's in you.
SPEAKER_01 (35:26):
Yeah, and from that outflow, because his love is so
immense, there's like no, it'sboundless.
And so when we receive thatlove, it's the overflow of that
love that comes out of us and toothers.
You know, it's that it's a giftthat we've received and that we
also give unto others.
I I find that really powerful,that concept that you were
(35:50):
discussing.
What is the name of your book?
SPEAKER_05 (35:53):
This last book is called Um Conscious Love,
Transforming our Relationship toRelationships.
Right, so transforming how weapproach relationships, how we
think about them, how we holdthem.
And in it, I I come up with 10or name 10 challenges.
So some of the ways, some of thereasons that we get into trouble
(36:15):
with relationships.
Like, for example, like how weapproach them.
If we're approachingrelationships with the
unrealistic expectation that youare gonna make me happy, forget
it.
Hang it up.
There isn't anybody out therewho's gonna make us happy, and
it's not their job to beginwith, putting that pressure on
(36:38):
somebody else and putting thatpressure on the relationship,
right?
It's not gonna have um a goodending.
So talk about settling and thereasons why we settle um for
less than what we know, right?
We over we overlook the yellowflags and the red flags because
we're afraid of being alone.
Yeah.
Um or or we settle because wedon't we don't value ourselves
(37:02):
enough.
Um and you know, those thoseassumptions or those
misunderstandings, those beliefsthat we took on, that we picked
up along the way, right?
That there's that I'm not goodenough, or I'm too much, uh,
that there's something wrongwith me.
Beliefs like relationshipsalways end up in divorce and
(37:25):
pain and betrayal.
Right?
This is stuff that maybe we wepicked up from our parents, we
picked up from the culture,we've seen it in the movies a
bunch of times.
But if that's how we'reapproaching it, with that
expectation, it's not gonnahappen.
Right, and so we end up settlingfor less.
Um, and also we confuse, right?
(37:47):
This is another one of thechallenges.
We confuse the feeling of love,the emotion of love with the act
of loving.
And just kind of paraphrasingScott Peck, you know, from The
Road Less Traveled, who giftedus this definition of love
because he he you know, weconfuse that emotion again.
(38:09):
And you know, we think that loveis is those feelings in the
honeymoon where the other personcan do no wrong and we see them
through rose-colored glasses.
Honeymoon is is I think it's abiological trick of nature,
right, to ensure the survival ofthe species.
Because at some point, right, inthe in that in that initial
(38:30):
phase, like the ego boundarieshave collapsed, and we feel at
one with.
Before I knew practices likemeditation or breathwork breath
work, the only time I felt thatdeep connection, I felt at one
with somebody else was makinglove.
Um and so you know that's how weescape that individual separate
(38:51):
sense of self, the little egomind, the little ego self.
Um and the way that he defineslove is like love is not the
feeling, right?
And we can't go by the honeymoonbecause at some point that
person's gonna do the the theit's gonna put the toilet paper
the wrong way, and everybodyshould know this is the correct
(39:13):
way.
Um or they're gonna squeeze thetoothpaste, the toothpaste tube
from the wrong end, and thenboom, then that's it.
Ego boundaries come back up, andthen they can do nothing right,
and then we go looking forgreener pastors looking for the
where did the love go?
Right?
We go looking for the one.
But that sense of love is isbased on a misunderstanding of
(39:34):
what love is because we'reconfusing that infatuation, that
that period of of they can do nowrong with the the act of
loving.
And he says that it's when thehoneymoon ends that the work of
real loving begins.
And he sounds yeah, yes, totallyagree with that.
(39:56):
Totally, totally.
My experience too.
And he talks about how love isnot the feeling, but it's when
we place ourselves outside ofour comfort zone.
So, again, going back to thatcomfort zone, when we place
ourselves, when we have tostretch outside of that comfort
zone for the sake of thespiritual growth of another
(40:16):
being.
Like, huh?
That's different.
That's a different way oflooking at it.
It's like, what a profound wayof looking at love.
SPEAKER_01 (40:25):
It is, it kind of reminds me of the phases that
the mind goes through whenyou're making changes.
It's like anything in life whenyou start off new with someone
with that excitement phase.
And it's it's everybody goesthrough that.
And then about, I don't know, ayear or whatever, in
(40:46):
relationships, because it's alittle bit different in
relationships.
But you're then initially on,you start seeing the flags, but
you ignore them because you'restill caught up in that in that
haze, you know, like no, I Ireally want this.
It's this big thing that youreally, really want.
And so you don't pay attentionto these things, and then you
(41:07):
get married, right?
Because you think it's the nextstep.
And then, like you said, thenthe pursuit from the guys is
over, like in the male-femaleroles, and then the women are
like throwing the women, andthen that ends.
Um, and it's like everyday life,right?
The ego identity kicks in fairlyquickly, and it starts telling
(41:31):
you, why did you marry thisdude?
or why did you marry thisperson?
Um and then, like you said, theycan do nothing right.
You fall into these patterns ofbeing, because that's who you
authentically are.
Until you heal those parts, Ithink you're gonna continue
bringing them intorelationships.
And I have no doubt that yourbook probably addresses some of
(41:54):
these things for sure, right?
Because we have to firstunderstand ourselves before we
can step into a relationshipcompletely.
SPEAKER_05 (42:02):
Phase one.
SPEAKER_01 (42:04):
Phase one is is understanding who we are, and
having some self-love, becauseholy moly, does that play a role
in how we show up?
When you don't love yourself, itshows up in your relationships.
SPEAKER_05 (42:19):
Oh my god.
How can we expect for anybodyelse to love us if we're not
loving ourselves?
How can we respect for anybodyto to respect us, to honor us if
we're not honoring andrespecting ourselves?
It's crazy.
It's not it cannot happen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go ahead, you were started tosay something.
SPEAKER_03 (42:38):
No, no, no.
I actually want you to finish.
SPEAKER_05 (42:41):
Yeah, so so what you pointed to, the ego mind is is
is important because there's alot of confusion about that.
There's a lot ofmisunderstanding.
And in my earlier book, which isabout power and empowerment,
it's called Awakening the Soulof Power, and it's for
everybody, but a particularmessage for women, because I am
(43:01):
convinced that the empowermentof women is the single most
important thing that needs tohappen in the world.
Not to idealize women or putthem on a pedestal or to give
women more crap to clean up inthis world of ours, is because
as a world, we've been runningso off balance between the
masculine and the feminineenergies that course through
(43:22):
everybody and everything.
Right?
No matter what kind of bodyyou're in, you're gonna those
energies are gonna be flowingthrough us because they flow
through the entire cosmos.
And and so in and part of thereason that we have a co well so
anyway, so I spent the the wholeprobably first quarter fifth of
(43:43):
the book talking about the egoand what how it works.
Uh, because if you want yourrelationships to have a chance
of working, if you want to havea sense of purpose, empowerment,
if you want to know why you dothe things you do, you gotta
understand the ego.
And we don't have time to getinto it all here, but but here's
a a a great visual.
(44:04):
If you put a baseball in thecenter of a stadium, that's the
ego.
That's that sense of separateidentity that's as Christian,
that's Sylvia.
Um who we are is actually thestadium, the freaking stadium.
And we've allowed this tiny,tiny, tiny part of who we are to
think that it is all who we are,and to make really important
(44:26):
consequential choices from itssmall, limited, and always
fear-based perspective.
So part of what I do in myretreats, in my coaching, in my
breath work sessions, in my bookis help people disidentify with
a baseball and re-identify witha stadium.
SPEAKER_03 (44:48):
I love that.
I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (44:50):
And if people wanted to work with you, Christian,
where could they reach you?
SPEAKER_05 (44:54):
Probably the best place is my website.
Um, and then they can access mysocial media from there.
It's soulfulpower.com.
S-O-U-L-F-U-L Power, P-O-W-E-R,dot com.
SPEAKER_03 (45:08):
And do you feel like you're in your purpose now, in
your divine purpose?
SPEAKER_01 (45:13):
Oh my god.
Or do you think this isseasonal?
SPEAKER_05 (45:16):
No, no, I I know I'm in my purpose.
There's no question.
And and I've always for me, Iknow we were talking about
earlier um before we startedrecording that purpose, you
know, it's not a linear thingyou were saying, but it's
sometimes it takes, you know,meandering till we figure it
out.
For me, it's I've always known.
(45:36):
I've translated it differently.
You know, like I thoughtinitially that purpose was meant
that I was gonna be a priest.
Then I come out of thepsychotherapy world.
My dad was a psychiatrist.
I studied psychology, so Ithought I was gonna be a
clinical psychologist.
Um, and then realized that bothof those entities didn't have
enough room for me, for all ofme.
(45:57):
At the time, at least, clinicalpsychology completely ignored
the spiritual, didn't look at itat all, and to me, that's part
of being human.
We ignore that.
Um, and so I found my own way.
Well, this I started uh lookingat traditions from the east,
incorporating it some of mypsychology studies with um
(46:20):
eastern traditions.
You know, I was raised Catholic,so there's all and and have a
connection with that Christ.
So always um, you know, weavethat into as well and refer to
that.
But I don't belong to any oneparticular tradition these days.
SPEAKER_03 (46:41):
I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (46:42):
I love that you're free-flowing and that that you
accept your there's anacceptance of of spirit and
higher level consciousness.
And you've written a book onthis conscious relationships,
which I believe really needs tobe promoted.
So let me know when it doesrelease or release already.
(47:03):
I'll let you know.
So how can we we purchase it onyour website then?
SPEAKER_05 (47:09):
You can get it on the website, it's available on
Amazon, or you can order it ifyou want to support your local
bookstore, you can order itthere.
SPEAKER_01 (47:16):
Okay.
I'd rather support the authordirectly, so because I'm an
author myself and I understandwhat that's like.
SPEAKER_05 (47:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (47:23):
And so and how much work we put into um to the
books.
SPEAKER_05 (47:28):
Oh, I know.
And I saw on your website yougot like four or five books.
Wow, congrats, congrats.
SPEAKER_01 (47:34):
Um it's just it's a lot.
It's a lot of work and it's alot of dedication, and but it's
it's still worth it because yourstory matters.
It could be the reason whysomebody doesn't take their
life.
They can say, hey, I love I lovea story and I feel like I have
purpose and I'm gonna go for it.
SPEAKER_04 (47:54):
Agreed.
SPEAKER_01 (47:55):
Um or I don't have a good relationship with God and I
want one.
And so I'm gonna go for it.
I'm gonna just tune inward andkind of see if my journey
resonates with yours in any way,right?
So I really appreciate your timetoday, Christian.
It was such an authentic andreal and raw conversation that I
(48:15):
know my listeners that releasethat reveal purpose will just
love.
I've loved interviewing you.
I loved having you on the show.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
Any last words before we signoff?
SPEAKER_05 (48:29):
Well, just kind of weaving in both both books, the
messages from both books is thatwe all have within us the the
right um to have a sense ofempowerment and the and the
tools and the skills to have asense of personal power, um, and
to have relationships thatactually have a chance of
(48:51):
working.
It just requires going withinand removing what's gotten in
the way of them, right?
All the conditioning that wewere talking about earlier, all
the BS.
SPEAKER_04 (49:00):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (49:00):
Um, all the the mistakes and the
misunderstandings and thelimited definitions of of love
and the mistaken definitions ofwhat relationships are meant to
be.
Um, and we can figure this outfor ourselves.
And yeah, I'm not gonna lie toyou, it takes work.
It takes going within andfiguring out, right?
What is so worth it?
(49:20):
So worth it.
So worth it.
SPEAKER_01 (49:27):
Nobody wants to live in darkness, everybody wants to
live in joy and in light.
And for the listeners of releasedoubt, reveal purpose, remember
Matthew 5.14, be the light.
Have a wonderful week,everybody.
SPEAKER_03 (49:39):
Stay safe.
Love you all.
Bye now.
SPEAKER_00 (49:47):
So that's it for today's episode of Release
Doubt, Reveal Purpose.
Head on over to iTunes orwherever you listen and
subscribe to the show.
One lucky listener every singleweek who posts a review on
iTunes.
We'll win a chance the grandprize drawing to win a
twenty-five thousand dollarprivate VIP day with Sylvia
(50:08):
Worsham herself.
Be sure to head on over torelease out reveal purpose
podcast.com and pick up a freecopy of Sylvia's gift and join
us on the next episode.
If you've ever struggled with fear, doubt, or
worry, and wondering what yourtrue purpose was all about, then
this podcast is for you.
In this show, your host, SylviaWorston, will interview elite
experts and ordinary people thathave created extraordinary
lives.
(00:22):
So here's your host, SylviaWorston.
SPEAKER_01 (00:29):
Hey my priest, it's Sylvia Worstham.
Welcome to the Restop ReviewPrepast.
And today is Christian Deletta.
And he has an amazing story oftransformation this channel.
That's a lovely day.
Christian, thank you so much forjoining us today on this
channel.
SPEAKER_05 (00:45):
Hey Sylvia.
So happy to be here.
Thanks so much for having me.
SPEAKER_01 (00:50):
It's awesome.
The first goal round there wassome flexibility issues, and I
always am open to that becauseif it's got to rule to have the
enemy, it's gonna happen.
So it doesn't matter whether ithappens then or it happens now.
There is a purpose to things inlife.
So tell me, Christian, where areyou at?
SPEAKER_05 (01:12):
Right now I'm in South Florida at a friend's
place that he kind of rented onAirbnb in Florida.
My family's in Miami, uh, but Istay up here when I'm down here.
I've been nomadic for the last,wait, three, four years since
the pandemic.
SPEAKER_01 (01:30):
You know, I find that a lot of people are
nowadays because you can takeyour work wherever you go,
especially the kind of work youdo.
And so it doesn't matter whereyou're at, as long as you're
present and you're doing theseinterviews and you're sharing
your wisdom.
SPEAKER_05 (01:48):
Exactly.
I mean, that's that's what freedme up is I used to do, and I and
I'm starting to do them again,live events, um, you know,
workshops, retreats.
Uh, but the pandemic, right, itcouldn't.
So then I realized I'm doingmost of my work now online.
I can be anywhere.
Yeah.
I just need good Wi-Fi.
SPEAKER_01 (02:09):
Yeah, that's all the meaning.
And I was really like hopingthat my Wi-Fi was gonna work
properly this morning.
I was over at a neighbor's housejust recently um like an hour
ago, actually, because my Wi-Fiwas failing and my husband then
texted me, hey, the Wi-Fi isback on.
So then I walked over the twohouses down to meet with you
(02:33):
right now.
So I find when it's good, man,it's gonna happen whether we're
in alignment or not.
SPEAKER_05 (02:40):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
So I mean an amazing story of transformation,
Christian.
Can you share with us how youlanded in the spot you're in
currently?
SPEAKER_05 (02:51):
Wow, I mean, that's a long story.
SPEAKER_01 (02:53):
Um We have time.
SPEAKER_05 (02:56):
The highlights.
I was born in Cuba, uh, so livedunder communism for the first 10
years of my life.
Came to the US with my family,went to high school and college
here.
Um, you know, what what I thinkthe the the aspect of my
transformation that would behelpful for your audience is
(03:17):
that I I was so painfully shy asa teenager.
Like painfully.
I was okay one-on-one.
But if you added a third human,forget it.
I clammed up.
And yet I knew that I havealways had a sense of mission, a
sense of purpose.
Um and so I knew that if I wasgonna fulfill that purpose, that
(03:38):
I had to get over that fear.
Because that I knew that wasgonna entail speaking in public,
and forget that.
That wasn't even a possibility.
Uh so through a series of ofchoices and experiences that I
set myself up for, I was able totransmute that that fear, that
(03:59):
self-doubt, that self-hatredinto self-confidence.
And uh if I know that if thatcan happen in me, that can
happen in anybody.
SPEAKER_03 (04:12):
That's awesome.
Because you know, there's a lotof kids out there that are very
shy.
SPEAKER_01 (04:19):
I know mine claims to be shy.
I don't I don't believe that fora second.
My 10-year-old saying, I'm shy,my you used to not be.
I would do these videos duringthe pandemic times and you would
appear in the video.
And now she started to reappearin my podcast interviews.
She will walk behind me at timesand and showcase like a little
(04:42):
note.
So I find that when you put yourmind to it, when you have an
intention set up, I am going toconquer these fears.
I find that it happens moreoften than not.
What do you think are thechallenges that people face when
(05:04):
they can't get out of their ownheads?
SPEAKER_05 (05:07):
Oh my god, it's it's I don't believe in hell, like
technically.
Um I think hell is a state ofmind, just a state of
consciousness that that we placeourselves into.
I don't believe in a punitiveGod.
But this life like inside of ourheads can be heaven or it can be
(05:29):
hell.
Um and I think the the thesource of the problem is that we
don't really understand who weare.
Like we don't really understandwhat makes us do the things we
do.
And and the tragic part of it isthat many of us try to run away
from those questions, from thedeep existential questions.
(05:52):
Who are we?
You know, who are we?
What are we doing here?
What's this life about?
Why do we do the things we do?
Um, why do we get find ourselvesstuck in certain patterns of
relationships that sometimesfeels like it's the same boring
movie, only with a differentdifferent lead, you know, a
different co-lead, but the samepatterns, the same crap, the
same argument.
(06:12):
So to me, there's no way aroundthat.
If you want to be free, if youwant to really discover who we
are, like we gotta go with it.
We have to be willing to dothat, and as opposed to what a
lot of people do, which isself-medicate, run away from.
And self-medicate, whether it'sfood or substances or or drugs
or work or gaming in thecomputer, whatever it is, all
(06:36):
the activities that we do tokeep us from looking within.
And and to go back to that fearquestion, because I I think that
is so relevant too.
And this is this is before evenknowing what we're talking
about, which is how to transcendfear.
Um it's kind of what I did.
But but here's a really quickmodel.
(06:57):
It's from a book by SusanJeffers, Seth Jeffers, titled
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
So imagine this concentriccircle.
This inner circle represents ourcomfort zone.
This is where we're comfortablenow, being in the world, being
with other humans, just being soevery time we take a little
(07:19):
step, a tiny little step, or itcould be a huge leap.
But we establish ourselvesbeyond that comfort zone at the
next circle, at the next level.
And imagine if we did that, likeonce a week, we did something
that had a stretch that has hasyou know makes us stretch beyond
our comfort zone.
(07:39):
Whether that's saying yes andgoing on a coffee date with
somebody, or whether it's sayingyes and taking on a project at
work that we don't feel quiteready for, or we say yes to an
invitation to speak in publicwhen that terrifies us.
Each time we do that, we'reexpanding that comfort zone and
(08:00):
it doesn't uh retract.
Like we're settling ourselves inthose expanded comfort zones.
SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
I actually love that visual that you provided.
Something I used to use a lot inmy talks was the law of the
rubber band, because it talksabout the same thing.
And if you think of a rubberband, you think of your if you
were to take uh a rubber bandand stretch it from your chin
(08:27):
out to as further that you cantake it, the chin represents the
comfort zone, and the furthestpoint is your capacity zone.
And in between is the tensionyou're creating.
So it's the goals you're settingup to create a little bit of
tension, not a whole lot,because if you create too much
(08:48):
tension for people that arecreating new habits, it will the
deception of the subconsciousmind will kick in and it'll help
help quit their their capacityzone kind of like goal-reaching
capacity, right?
So we always tell people it'syou want to create a little bit
(09:09):
of tension, you want to increaseyour heart rate a little bit,
but not so much so that it'sgonna stop your heart.
SPEAKER_05 (09:18):
Yeah, you can pop that rubber rubber band and
bring it back, right?
SPEAKER_01 (09:22):
Into the comfort zone.
That would be bad.
But you do want to create alittle bit of tension.
And so the goals that you'resetting up in your life, or the
habits, if you will, to get outof that fear zone is so that you
can start visualizing, you know,that big bold life that you want
(09:42):
and that you desire.
But to do that, you have to giveyour mind kind of like a GPS
system.
It's gotta have a guiding, aguidance to it, and the goals
are the guidance to it.
And it's it's it's kind ofmoving slowly to that capacity
zone.
And the more you do it, the moreyou're empowered to do it.
(10:05):
And by the time you turn around,you've already created the
identity of someone that's outof their comfort zone and
completely immersed in theircapacity zone.
And then from that point on,then you do it again.
It's like, okay, well, now I'mhere.
Where do I want to level up to?
So those kids that love videogames, I always tell them this
way it's like life is like avideo game.
(10:26):
You're constantly leveling up.
And you're developing skillsthat you practice to make them
permanent to be able to level upto the next level.
That's all we're doing in life,really.
SPEAKER_05 (10:40):
I like that.
I like that visual.
SPEAKER_01 (10:42):
And so, you know, for kids that get overwhelmed,
because nowadays I see kids getoverwhelmed very quickly.
They want things now, they don'twant to work at it.
They don't, it's like ourcultures are very, very
different.
I don't know if you'veexperienced that, Christian, or
not.
SPEAKER_05 (10:59):
Yeah, no, I agree with you.
I think, I mean, our wholesociety has trained us to be
that, right?
They want that immediategratification.
Um, and I think the the computergaming industry even reinforces
that even more.
Like that you're always goingfor that extra bell or star or
fireworks.
(11:19):
Um and you know, life doesn'treally work that way.
Life requires work and requirespresence and requires that
ability to to go within and toif you want to be really
successful at it, I think youhave to go within and you have
to, like we were talking aboutearlier, ask yourself, face
(11:40):
yourself, not run away fromyourself.
SPEAKER_03 (11:44):
Yes, and you said you talked about self-hatred.
SPEAKER_01 (11:49):
Can you touch a little bit more on that?
Because there are quite a fewpeople out there that probably
are in this space that don'tknow quite how to get out of
there.
Can you shed some light on that?
SPEAKER_05 (12:04):
Sure.
Um, I mean I can start bytelling you that my adolescence
was one long depression withsuicidal fantasies.
Um and it was an effort to tryto fit in a in a culture in a
religion that didn't have roomfor me.
(12:24):
So I grew up Catholic, and Iknow you did as well.
And and yet from an ear an earlyage, even before I did anything
about it, I knew that I was gay.
And so there was part of me thathad this really genuine desire
to to be spiritual, to to knowGod, to even to serve God.
I I thought I I thought I wasgonna be uh a priest when I was
(12:47):
in high school.
Um and then there was this otherpart of me that was deep, dark,
secret that nobody knew about.
Um and that you know, I thoughtI was told that I was gonna burn
burn in hell for eternity.
And you know being young, likeyoung and asking a priest once,
how long how long is eternityexactly?
(13:10):
And he used, you know, I'm Cubanborn, so we could you know he
used an um an island metaphor.
He said, Well, imagine you'regonna go to the beach and you
bring a thimble with you, andyou use that thimble to start
taking water out of the ocean.
That's eternity.
Which of course terrified me.
SPEAKER_03 (13:29):
Of course.
That you know, that makes mesad.
SPEAKER_01 (13:35):
And I'll tell you why, because I left the Catholic
uh religion when I divorced,because they didn't accept
divorce back in those years.
SPEAKER_04 (13:45):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (13:46):
Now it's shifted.
You you see the shifts a lot,it's become a lot more modern in
our old.
I don't know if you're stillCatholic, but I've left it.
And when I married my secondhusband, he was late
Pentecostal, and I was like, No,I'm not doing that.
And he and he said, Well, I'mgonna be Catholic, and I said,
Well, I don't want to do thateither.
(14:07):
And he said, Well, what do youwant to do?
And I said, Well, what about anon-denominational Christian?
Right?
And the church we landed at herein Austin, I love their motto,
no perfect people allowed.
And I love that because we'renot perfect, we're nowhere near
perfect.
And they've actually touched ongay people in the church.
(14:31):
Our senior pastor, the seniorfounding pastor John Burke, who
became a New York Timesbest-selling author with his
book, Just Imagine or ImagineHeaven, based on near-death
experiences.
Very good book, by the way.
Wow.
But going back to what he saidin one of the sermons was
homosexuality, um, that theBible scripture actually meant
(14:56):
pedophilia as being theabomination and not
homosexuality, but that thetranslation from Greek, because
a lot of the text was in Greek,they or ancient texts, people
misinterpreted, miscommunicatedthat.
So for a long time, theycommunicated that as being
homosexuality, when in reality,that's not what they're talking
(15:19):
about.
And so there's a lot ofacceptance.
We teach in our home, we teachour kids acceptance, not
tolerance.
To me, tolerance is a negativeword, and it's like, well, you
you know, you have to do it thisway.
No.
Acceptance is people are allowedin our home to love whomever
(15:40):
they want.
And I had a gay cousin uhgrowing up, and I remember he
his family doesn't know he'sgay.
In fact, they deny it, eventhough we all know he's gay.
And when he came to see me uhabout 30 years ago, he uh he was
in my home and I and I said,Hey, you're always welcome in my
(16:04):
home with your partner.
And he just bursts out cryingbecause he just he had never
felt accepted by any of us, andhe felt accepted by me and by my
mother.
How beautiful is that?
You know, and my mom, she'sturning 85 this year, you know,
and is one of the most acceptingpeople out there, and she
(16:26):
doesn't, and she hails from theMexican side and Catholic, which
a lot of people initially say soclose-minded, not all of us are
like that.
That's true, you know, not allof us are like that, and and I
think you'd find that now moreand more there's a lot more
acceptance of it, and I'mgrateful for that because
(16:48):
there's just I just can'timagine that people would choose
to put themselves in a positionto be, you know, like how you
were feeling that self-hatred.
Who would willingly do that tothemselves?
You know, and it doesn't makesense, it's not logical.
And so I always tell my mychildren, like one time we were
(17:09):
walking at the mall, and mylittle girl, she was little, she
was like five, and she said,Mom, um, why are those two men
with the baby?
And I said, Oh, they're acouple, honey, just very
natural.
SPEAKER_04 (17:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:20):
And and it's like, oh, isn't it supposed to be a
man and a woman?
I said, you know, it could bethe man and a woman, it could be
a man and a man, it could be awoman and a woman.
As long as that child has lovein their life, it doesn't
matter.
unknown (17:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:34):
You know, in our in our home.
SPEAKER_05 (17:36):
So that's beautiful of what you're the values that
you're teaching your daughter.
And and and I think it's reallyimportant to do to the
differentiation you're making,the nuance between tolerance and
and real acceptance.
Yeah.
And I want to go back to what towhat you were referencing, you
know, the Bible.
Because there are only sixtexts.
(17:56):
Like six mentions that refer toor are said to refer to, that
are used to condemn.
You know, LGBTQ people.
And and homosexuality inparticular.
But the thing about those thosetexts is that they have been
translated, retranslated,mistranslated, misinterpreted.
(18:19):
Like there's one of those thatwhere the sin was supposed to be
just being unwelcome tostrangers, unkindness to
strangers, and yet it wasmistranslated, um, and then and
then used to persecute uh gaypeople.
Uh so and and you know, it'slike I I know what you're saying
(18:41):
about the the how the church ischanging.
And and you know, even the newPope and this the last one give
me a little bit of hope.
Personally, you know, wherewhere it's women are not even
considered equal, where womenare not allowed to be priests.
(19:02):
Um and I know that in theultimate sense they are
considered equal, but in theday-to-day, it's like, come on.
Um and you know, I just I'm notgonna sit around and white
personally.
SPEAKER_01 (19:16):
No, no, and the thing there's a huge difference,
Christian, I think, in religionand faith.
There's there's an enormousdifference.
Most people use itinterchangeably, you know, and I
always correct my husbandbecause he, well, you're
religious.
I said, no, sir, I'm not.
I'm actually faith-based.
And the reason why I say that isfaith to me is relationship with
(19:39):
God.
Like straight relationship.
I don't need to go through apriest to talk to him.
If I want to talk to him today,I I choose to do that today, you
know.
Um I also find that a lot ofpeople today, in fact, I had a
good friend of mine ask me, theydon't even, there's no
(20:02):
relationship or connection withyour inner self.
You don't even know whether yourego is speaking to you or your
soul.
I had a friend that asked me, Idon't even know how to discern
between when God is prompting meto do something and when it's my
mind telling me something.
And so I always tell her, I waslike, you know, when it's doubt
(20:22):
and fear and scarcity, that'syour mind.
That's the programming that youhave fed it over time.
That's the modeling you receive,that's the environment that you
find yourself in, all thesubliminal messages.
You have to be aware of what'swhat you're allowing to
influence you.
Who is you're allowing to speakinto you?
(20:44):
Are they bringing you light?
Are they bringing you darkness?
Are they taking your light?
Things like that.
It all impacts.
The mind has no filter, the thesubconscious part of the mind.
So it's just gonna takeeverything in and form belief
systems, whether they're real ornot.
SPEAKER_03 (21:03):
Truth or not.
SPEAKER_05 (21:04):
Yes.
Yeah, I agree.
I think I think the mind is whatkeeps us from God.
And I'm more like in thespiritual, not religious
category.
I honor all traditions, I alsochallenge them all.
Um, you know, I think I think ofreligion and spirituality as
(21:25):
like if you can see an exquisiteswimming pool, perfect
temperature, refreshing,beautifully landscaped, with a
bunch of diving boardssurrounding it.
To me, those are the religions,right?
That to the degree that theyhelp us dive into that, you
know, whatever you want to callthat, um, then they're doing
(21:47):
their job.
But to the degree that they'rethey're getting into what I call
the theological pissing contest,you know, my God is bigger than
yours, and and that they'recausing guilt and s and fear and
and separation between people,then I beg to differ.
You know, then then that's thepart that I challenge.
Um and and you know, one of thethings that I've I'm so grateful
(22:11):
that I was able to navigate thatquestion of who am I, and and
and realize that we all areinherently spiritual because
that's our nature.
And it's just as ludicrous totry to reject part of who we are
as human, like our sexuality,like I tried to do, and I know m
(22:31):
countless other people have doneas well, or our spirituality,
which which understandably a lotof people who have been uh burnt
and hurt by religion also triedto do.
But to me, it's just part of whowe are.
It's like it's it's I lovedShardan, you know, theologian
Toyar the Shardan, his quotethat we are spirits having a
(22:54):
physical experience for one timeor many times, depending on your
system of belief.
Um, and and to me that's what myspiritual um expression is more
into.
SPEAKER_01 (23:09):
Okay, so can you dive a little bit deeper into
that because I know people usethe word spirituality and they
mean faith, and vice versa.
So can you distinguish betweenthe two then?
SPEAKER_05 (23:22):
Yeah, I don't I don't use the word faith often.
I mean I I I read it a lot, youknow, it's faith-based.
Um to me, to me that I don'tbelieve in abominations, but if
I were to believe in anabomination, to me that's the
externalization of the sacred.
You know, where we have placedanything that's that's we
(23:45):
consider sacred or holy, weplace it way away from us.
How much further could we haveplaced heaven?
And where the hell is heavenanyway?
Right, where to me, I butspirituality if you look at the
Latin root of it, it's isspidade, which from that root we
get both respiration andinspiration, expiration.
(24:09):
So to me, that's what spirit is,you know.
Like if you if we're gonnaconnect it to holy text, you
know, God breathed life intothat.
That's the spirit.
To me, religion, though thatword still comes from also comes
from a Latin, religare, whichmeans to bind, to rebind.
Um which understandably I youunderstand that it probably
(24:30):
means rebinding to the to the tothe sacred, but it still feels a
little I don't know, restrictivein my sense, in in my
perceptions.
Where spirituality feels a lotmore open, a lot more flowing,
um, a lot more inclusive.
It's you know, it's the breath,the breath of life.
The breath is our most loyal,our most faithful companion in
(24:54):
this journey of embodiment.
And if we look through if welook at the different religious
traditions in the world, in themajority of them, almost all of
them, and even some secularlanguages, one word can mean
breath or spirit.
SPEAKER_03 (25:09):
Um so it's the same for you.
SPEAKER_05 (25:11):
The breath is spirit.
unknown (25:13):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (25:14):
I find it interesting, yeah.
Don't tell me that God iseverywhere except for right
here.
And in particular, it's God iseverywhere except for the
genitals and the bedroom.
But that's a differentconversation.
SPEAKER_01 (25:33):
Here's the here's the thing.
I you know what's coming to mindas you're talking is Napoleon
Hill.
SPEAKER_03 (25:39):
There was a uh the thinking grew rich.
SPEAKER_01 (25:45):
I did a very extensive study on it because as
part of the John Maxwell team,as one of the coaches, they kind
of have us go through some ofthese studies to really
understand.
And Napoleon talked a lot abouthow God shows up.
You know, God is a spirit insideof us and he comes in through
thoughts.
(26:05):
The thought that is, in my case,a persistent thought that just
comes out of nowhere, thatdoesn't kind of align to what my
doubt is telling me to do.
Um that's how he shows up forme.
And he talked about sexualitythere, not quite in the context
that we're talking in, but hedid say, you know, the oneness
(26:28):
piece is the sexuality piecethat scripture talks about in
marriage as well.
It's this oneness with spirit,oneness with one with ourselves.
And and it's the same likeconcept throughout uh scripture.
The more we become one with him,the more we're in alignment in
(26:49):
our thoughts, in our hearts, inour heart space.
So I find that I can see bothfaith and spirituality kind of
flowing more with each otherthan religion.
Religion is to me man-made, andit's something that Christ
Himself didn't uh feel attunedto when he was here on earth.
(27:10):
He actually rejected thePharisees.
That's what most people forget.
I find that so interestingbecause he would do things that
were rebellious in those years.
He included women in hisministry, which back in those
years was unheard of.
Like if now the Catholics don'tsee the women as equal images
(27:31):
then, how that would have comeacross to them that here's this
person claiming to be you knowGod Himself and the Son of God,
and and he's including women inhis ministry.
SPEAKER_05 (27:43):
And he's getting considered property, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (27:47):
Um and their people, the women in his ministry were
actually helping manage thefinances and in some cases
providing the finances for hisministry.
I find that so interesting.
I also find it interesting thathe sat with who he claimed, or
what people claimed to be theoutcasts of society in those
(28:08):
years.
Tax collectors, thieves, youknow, adulterers, the lepers,
the lepers, you know, and so Ialways had a post not too long
ago that said, I wonder whatJesus would what his opinion
would be about um people thatexclude others based on their
(28:31):
sexuality.
I wonder what his opinion wouldbe, considering how he showed up
in his ministry.
And then I kind of went throughthe whole process that I'm
discussing with you now sayinghe actually the Pharisees were,
I mean, they're the ones thatcondemned him, right?
The ones that brought him to getexecuted, pretty much, the ones
that were promoting itprimarily.
(28:53):
And so you see religion and himnot really going side to side.
So I always find thatinteresting.
And then I figure it's like hewas more about relationship with
people, and he was about love,he was about love and
connection.
SPEAKER_05 (29:12):
That's it.
It is it, as simple as that, andyou know, it's it's interesting
because the the reason he buckedheads with the Pharisees was
because they were so preoccupiedabout dogma and doing things the
way they were supposed to do.
The law.
This is the law, this is theonly way.
This is you know, these are mythings.
Too many Christians do that now.
(29:34):
Unfortunately, yes.
Unfortunately.
SPEAKER_01 (29:47):
I agree, I agree, and and it I always say, you
know, the mission that he has meon, aside from this podcast,
was.
They get my life cheap.
You know something people arereally pissed off at you.
(30:09):
Don't find them and bring themback to me.
SPEAKER_05 (30:10):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (30:11):
And share the love that I have for them.
Share who I my character.
Like, don't let people talk badabout me.
Don't let them use my name andjust create these things that
are not true.
Because when you look atscripture, when you actually
read it, and even in the OldTestament, which scares most
(30:33):
people to death.
I knew it scared me too when Iread Job and you had me reading
Job.
I'm like, please don't put methrough this test.
I don't think I'm up for it.
But I could see his character,how faithful he was to people,
how many times he forgave them,how many chances he gave people.
When you see that over and overand over again in his word, you
(30:56):
can't help but think he is aloving God.
He is someone that wants thebest for you.
Um He wants you to have more joythan you could ever fathom.
You know, because the the ideasthat we have in our mind of what
we think joy is gonna be are sofar in our first act.
(31:17):
I know for me it was all aboutthe achievement.
The more I achieved, accordingto me, as a 20-year-old, the
more I the happier I would be.
And when I got to the pinnacleof my success at Pfizer, and I'm
standing in front of 300 of mypeers, and I'm the number one
saleswoman at Pfizer in thecountry.
I'm like, is this it?
(31:38):
Is this what happiness is about?
Right?
And then and then somethingalmost always happens.
Something shifts our view, ourlens.
In my case, I received aboutthree medical miracles in 72
hours, things that I should havenever survived, and yet I did.
(32:00):
And then I had a very strong umencounter with um Christ in the
ICE.
And it was undeniable.
The love that I felt was a loveI have never felt on this earth.
It is so accepting, it is sonurturing.
(32:22):
I felt like I was being cradledby him and he and he and a peace
washed over me, a peace that isnot of this earth, that only he
can provide.
When I when you have experienceslike that and you and you live
your life in connection withhim, like I have, it's really
(32:43):
hard for me to say there is noGod, there is no oneness, there
is no higher level ofconsciousness because I have
experienced it.
SPEAKER_05 (32:52):
Beautiful.
You know what is that and youthink about it so beautifully
from personal experience, likesomebody who knows.
This is not something you youread in a book.
SPEAKER_04 (33:01):
No.
SPEAKER_05 (33:02):
Um and that's what makes it so authentic and so
powerful.
If I can go back for a minuteand just clarify that I'm not
advocating amorality or a lackof morality, like I am
profoundly moral and I have adeep sense of what's right and
what's wrong.
It's something that I've had towork out for myself.
Right?
Because if if I wasn't gonna goby texts that were written
(33:25):
thousands of years ago andtranslated too many times at a
time when women were not evenhuman, that were property, like
then what am I gonna go by?
What?
But you know, how will how am Igonna determine what's what's
right and what's wrong?
And you know, it was years ofsearching and figuring it out.
But and and I write about it inthis last book, in which I write
(33:46):
about conscious relationshipsand conscious love and and what
it means to to to haverelationships consciously.
And I have a whole section onsexuality and spirituality in
which I get into morality.
And and so to me, I have likedifferent faces of it.
I'm not gonna get into all of itnow.
To me, the the deepest, to thehighest sense of morality is
(34:08):
what I call a namaste um stateof mind, right?
Namaste, as you know fromHinduism, it's it's the sacred
in me, uh, the love in me, theGod in me, whatever words, the
beauty in me that sees andacknowledges and bows to that in
you.
So if we were if we were to livefrom there, right, how could I
(34:31):
possibly steal from you or orkill you, or or rape you, or
invade your country?
Um So to me, like it it's it'sthe highest way that we can be
that that it precludes doingharm.
The most basic way is do noharm, right?
That's that's the most basicmorality.
(34:51):
Do no harm.
And I honor, that's one of thefew rules that I live by.
Uh but then I started finefine-tuning the different levels
of morality and navigating, howwe navigate and figure out for
us for ourselves what's rightand what's wrong.
And that's what I landed on,right?
Namaste.
I can see that in you, how can Ido harm to you?
(35:15):
Um, and because ultimately weare an expression of that.
If we're gonna go with God iseverywhere, God is omnipresent,
then it's in me and it's in you.
SPEAKER_01 (35:26):
Yeah, and from that outflow, because his love is so
immense, there's like no, it'sboundless.
And so when we receive thatlove, it's the overflow of that
love that comes out of us and toothers.
You know, it's that it's a giftthat we've received and that we
also give unto others.
I I find that really powerful,that concept that you were
(35:50):
discussing.
What is the name of your book?
SPEAKER_05 (35:53):
This last book is called Um Conscious Love,
Transforming our Relationship toRelationships.
Right, so transforming how weapproach relationships, how we
think about them, how we holdthem.
And in it, I I come up with 10or name 10 challenges.
So some of the ways, some of thereasons that we get into trouble
(36:15):
with relationships.
Like, for example, like how weapproach them.
If we're approachingrelationships with the
unrealistic expectation that youare gonna make me happy, forget
it.
Hang it up.
There isn't anybody out therewho's gonna make us happy, and
it's not their job to beginwith, putting that pressure on
(36:38):
somebody else and putting thatpressure on the relationship,
right?
It's not gonna have um a goodending.
So talk about settling and thereasons why we settle um for
less than what we know, right?
We over we overlook the yellowflags and the red flags because
we're afraid of being alone.
Yeah.
Um or or we settle because wedon't we don't value ourselves
(37:02):
enough.
Um and you know, those thoseassumptions or those
misunderstandings, those beliefsthat we took on, that we picked
up along the way, right?
That there's that I'm not goodenough, or I'm too much, uh,
that there's something wrongwith me.
Beliefs like relationshipsalways end up in divorce and
(37:25):
pain and betrayal.
Right?
This is stuff that maybe we wepicked up from our parents, we
picked up from the culture,we've seen it in the movies a
bunch of times.
But if that's how we'reapproaching it, with that
expectation, it's not gonnahappen.
Right, and so we end up settlingfor less.
Um, and also we confuse, right?
(37:47):
This is another one of thechallenges.
We confuse the feeling of love,the emotion of love with the act
of loving.
And just kind of paraphrasingScott Peck, you know, from The
Road Less Traveled, who giftedus this definition of love
because he he you know, weconfuse that emotion again.
(38:09):
And you know, we think that loveis is those feelings in the
honeymoon where the other personcan do no wrong and we see them
through rose-colored glasses.
Honeymoon is is I think it's abiological trick of nature,
right, to ensure the survival ofthe species.
Because at some point, right, inthe in that in that initial
(38:30):
phase, like the ego boundarieshave collapsed, and we feel at
one with.
Before I knew practices likemeditation or breathwork breath
work, the only time I felt thatdeep connection, I felt at one
with somebody else was makinglove.
Um and so you know that's how weescape that individual separate
(38:51):
sense of self, the little egomind, the little ego self.
Um and the way that he defineslove is like love is not the
feeling, right?
And we can't go by the honeymoonbecause at some point that
person's gonna do the the theit's gonna put the toilet paper
the wrong way, and everybodyshould know this is the correct
(39:13):
way.
Um or they're gonna squeeze thetoothpaste, the toothpaste tube
from the wrong end, and thenboom, then that's it.
Ego boundaries come back up, andthen they can do nothing right,
and then we go looking forgreener pastors looking for the
where did the love go?
Right?
We go looking for the one.
But that sense of love is isbased on a misunderstanding of
(39:34):
what love is because we'reconfusing that infatuation, that
that period of of they can do nowrong with the the act of
loving.
And he says that it's when thehoneymoon ends that the work of
real loving begins.
And he sounds yeah, yes, totallyagree with that.
(39:56):
Totally, totally.
My experience too.
And he talks about how love isnot the feeling, but it's when
we place ourselves outside ofour comfort zone.
So, again, going back to thatcomfort zone, when we place
ourselves, when we have tostretch outside of that comfort
zone for the sake of thespiritual growth of another
(40:16):
being.
Like, huh?
That's different.
That's a different way oflooking at it.
It's like, what a profound wayof looking at love.
SPEAKER_01 (40:25):
It is, it kind of reminds me of the phases that
the mind goes through whenyou're making changes.
It's like anything in life whenyou start off new with someone
with that excitement phase.
And it's it's everybody goesthrough that.
And then about, I don't know, ayear or whatever, in
(40:46):
relationships, because it's alittle bit different in
relationships.
But you're then initially on,you start seeing the flags, but
you ignore them because you'restill caught up in that in that
haze, you know, like no, I Ireally want this.
It's this big thing that youreally, really want.
And so you don't pay attentionto these things, and then you
(41:07):
get married, right?
Because you think it's the nextstep.
And then, like you said, thenthe pursuit from the guys is
over, like in the male-femaleroles, and then the women are
like throwing the women, andthen that ends.
Um, and it's like everyday life,right?
The ego identity kicks in fairlyquickly, and it starts telling
(41:31):
you, why did you marry thisdude?
or why did you marry thisperson?
Um and then, like you said, theycan do nothing right.
You fall into these patterns ofbeing, because that's who you
authentically are.
Until you heal those parts, Ithink you're gonna continue
bringing them intorelationships.
And I have no doubt that yourbook probably addresses some of
(41:54):
these things for sure, right?
Because we have to firstunderstand ourselves before we
can step into a relationshipcompletely.
SPEAKER_05 (42:02):
Phase one.
SPEAKER_01 (42:04):
Phase one is is understanding who we are, and
having some self-love, becauseholy moly, does that play a role
in how we show up?
When you don't love yourself, itshows up in your relationships.
SPEAKER_05 (42:19):
Oh my god.
How can we expect for anybodyelse to love us if we're not
loving ourselves?
How can we respect for anybodyto to respect us, to honor us if
we're not honoring andrespecting ourselves?
It's crazy.
It's not it cannot happen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go ahead, you were started tosay something.
SPEAKER_03 (42:38):
No, no, no.
I actually want you to finish.
SPEAKER_05 (42:41):
Yeah, so so what you pointed to, the ego mind is is
is important because there's alot of confusion about that.
There's a lot ofmisunderstanding.
And in my earlier book, which isabout power and empowerment,
it's called Awakening the Soulof Power, and it's for
everybody, but a particularmessage for women, because I am
(43:01):
convinced that the empowermentof women is the single most
important thing that needs tohappen in the world.
Not to idealize women or putthem on a pedestal or to give
women more crap to clean up inthis world of ours, is because
as a world, we've been runningso off balance between the
masculine and the feminineenergies that course through
(43:22):
everybody and everything.
Right?
No matter what kind of bodyyou're in, you're gonna those
energies are gonna be flowingthrough us because they flow
through the entire cosmos.
And and so in and part of thereason that we have a co well so
anyway, so I spent the the wholeprobably first quarter fifth of
(43:43):
the book talking about the egoand what how it works.
Uh, because if you want yourrelationships to have a chance
of working, if you want to havea sense of purpose, empowerment,
if you want to know why you dothe things you do, you gotta
understand the ego.
And we don't have time to getinto it all here, but but here's
a a a great visual.
(44:04):
If you put a baseball in thecenter of a stadium, that's the
ego.
That's that sense of separateidentity that's as Christian,
that's Sylvia.
Um who we are is actually thestadium, the freaking stadium.
And we've allowed this tiny,tiny, tiny part of who we are to
think that it is all who we are,and to make really important
(44:26):
consequential choices from itssmall, limited, and always
fear-based perspective.
So part of what I do in myretreats, in my coaching, in my
breath work sessions, in my bookis help people disidentify with
a baseball and re-identify witha stadium.
SPEAKER_03 (44:48):
I love that.
I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (44:50):
And if people wanted to work with you, Christian,
where could they reach you?
SPEAKER_05 (44:54):
Probably the best place is my website.
Um, and then they can access mysocial media from there.
It's soulfulpower.com.
S-O-U-L-F-U-L Power, P-O-W-E-R,dot com.
SPEAKER_03 (45:08):
And do you feel like you're in your purpose now, in
your divine purpose?
SPEAKER_01 (45:13):
Oh my god.
Or do you think this isseasonal?
SPEAKER_05 (45:16):
No, no, I I know I'm in my purpose.
There's no question.
And and I've always for me, Iknow we were talking about
earlier um before we startedrecording that purpose, you
know, it's not a linear thingyou were saying, but it's
sometimes it takes, you know,meandering till we figure it
out.
For me, it's I've always known.
(45:36):
I've translated it differently.
You know, like I thoughtinitially that purpose was meant
that I was gonna be a priest.
Then I come out of thepsychotherapy world.
My dad was a psychiatrist.
I studied psychology, so Ithought I was gonna be a
clinical psychologist.
Um, and then realized that bothof those entities didn't have
enough room for me, for all ofme.
(45:57):
At the time, at least, clinicalpsychology completely ignored
the spiritual, didn't look at itat all, and to me, that's part
of being human.
We ignore that.
Um, and so I found my own way.
Well, this I started uh lookingat traditions from the east,
incorporating it some of mypsychology studies with um
(46:20):
eastern traditions.
You know, I was raised Catholic,so there's all and and have a
connection with that Christ.
So always um, you know, weavethat into as well and refer to
that.
But I don't belong to any oneparticular tradition these days.
SPEAKER_03 (46:41):
I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (46:42):
I love that you're free-flowing and that that you
accept your there's anacceptance of of spirit and
higher level consciousness.
And you've written a book onthis conscious relationships,
which I believe really needs tobe promoted.
So let me know when it doesrelease or release already.
(47:03):
I'll let you know.
So how can we we purchase it onyour website then?
SPEAKER_05 (47:09):
You can get it on the website, it's available on
Amazon, or you can order it ifyou want to support your local
bookstore, you can order itthere.
SPEAKER_01 (47:16):
Okay.
I'd rather support the authordirectly, so because I'm an
author myself and I understandwhat that's like.
SPEAKER_05 (47:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (47:23):
And so and how much work we put into um to the
books.
SPEAKER_05 (47:28):
Oh, I know.
And I saw on your website yougot like four or five books.
Wow, congrats, congrats.
SPEAKER_01 (47:34):
Um it's just it's a lot.
It's a lot of work and it's alot of dedication, and but it's
it's still worth it because yourstory matters.
It could be the reason whysomebody doesn't take their
life.
They can say, hey, I love I lovea story and I feel like I have
purpose and I'm gonna go for it.
SPEAKER_04 (47:54):
Agreed.
SPEAKER_01 (47:55):
Um or I don't have a good relationship with God and I
want one.
And so I'm gonna go for it.
I'm gonna just tune inward andkind of see if my journey
resonates with yours in any way,right?
So I really appreciate your timetoday, Christian.
It was such an authentic andreal and raw conversation that I
(48:15):
know my listeners that releasethat reveal purpose will just
love.
I've loved interviewing you.
I loved having you on the show.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
Any last words before we signoff?
SPEAKER_05 (48:29):
Well, just kind of weaving in both both books, the
messages from both books is thatwe all have within us the the
right um to have a sense ofempowerment and the and the
tools and the skills to have asense of personal power, um, and
to have relationships thatactually have a chance of
(48:51):
working.
It just requires going withinand removing what's gotten in
the way of them, right?
All the conditioning that wewere talking about earlier, all
the BS.
SPEAKER_04 (49:00):
Yes.
SPEAKER_05 (49:00):
Um, all the the mistakes and the
misunderstandings and thelimited definitions of of love
and the mistaken definitions ofwhat relationships are meant to
be.
Um, and we can figure this outfor ourselves.
And yeah, I'm not gonna lie toyou, it takes work.
It takes going within andfiguring out, right?
What is so worth it?
(49:20):
So worth it.
So worth it.
SPEAKER_01 (49:27):
Nobody wants to live in darkness, everybody wants to
live in joy and in light.
And for the listeners of releasedoubt, reveal purpose, remember
Matthew 5.14, be the light.
Have a wonderful week,everybody.
SPEAKER_03 (49:39):
Stay safe.
Love you all.
Bye now.
SPEAKER_00 (49:47):
So that's it for today's episode of Release
Doubt, Reveal Purpose.
Head on over to iTunes orwherever you listen and
subscribe to the show.
One lucky listener every singleweek who posts a review on
iTunes.
We'll win a chance the grandprize drawing to win a
twenty-five thousand dollarprivate VIP day with Sylvia
(50:08):
Worsham herself.
Be sure to head on over torelease out reveal purpose
podcast.com and pick up a freecopy of Sylvia's gift and join
us on the next episode.
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