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August 4, 2025 56 mins
Top of Mind:  I start this episode by addressing the recent report from Baptist News Global regarding former guest Dr. Laura E. Anderson, a well-known therapist and coach in the religious trauma world, detailing ethical board sanctioning and other complaints by her associates. Main Interview (Adam joins at 6:45): Licensed therapist and Place We Find Ourselves podcast host Adam Young joins me to explore how our childhood stories quite literally shape our brains—and why telling those stories accurately matters more than we might think. We dig into Adam's narrative and body-focused therapeutic approach, which complements my own cognitive work by emphasizing how our neural networks wire together through early relational experiences with primary caregivers. We discuss why truth-telling orients us with reality in ways that reduce shame and self-contempt, explore the neuroscience behind why we can't simply suppress difficult emotions (spoiler: your amygdala has other plans), and examine how attachment patterns from ages 2-3 continue influencing our adult relationships through fight-flight-freeze responses.  Adam introduces the concept of "blessing our younger selves" as distinct from the popular notion of "reparenting," drawing on Internal Family Systems theory to help us understand the different parts within us that need attention.  Take it Offline:  Take this conversation beyond the solo podcast experience into real community with friends and ask each other: "Where do you find yourself most laboring under accusation?" He explains that all of us live with self-contempt and feel accusation about various aspects of our lives throughout our days — our parenting, our relationships, our habits, our compulsions, who we are and how we show up in the world. This vulnerable but powerful question can help bring kindness into areas that are exhausting and are often suffered in silence and alone.  Adam's Website | ⁠Adamyoungcounseling.com⁠ Adam's Book | ⁠Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything⁠ Related Episodes: Episode #197 - "Un-Shaming Each Part of Ourselves" with Molly LaCroixEpisode #333 - "The Science of Social Connection" with Julia Hotz Episode #337 - "The 'Middle Path' in Politics & Purity Culture" with Dr. Camden Morgante ___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/ Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/ Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.com YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98 Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/ Artwork by sprungle.co/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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