June 14, 2024 • 32 mins
In this episode, Moneke Fields and Dianne Acuna Andree discuss the power of pausing in daily life and its transformative effects on personal and professional well-being. They explore burnout recovery, the impact on team dynamics, and share practical tools and listener stories on managing stress.
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(00:00):
We we do this job so that we can have a lifethat we can pay our bills and have a home.
And that can and I was like, it was such amental shift for me.
Mhmm.
In the way that I grew up versus, you know, theway that I now choose to live my life is that
my family is 1st.
Because, another friend of mine, he once said,work will never love you back, Diane.
(00:21):
It'll never love you back.
And I was like, cool.
You know,
are you ready to unlock your full potential andachieve your personal, professional, and
financial goals?
Simply simple.
The podcast dedicated to helping you do justthat.
I'm Monique Fields, and I believe that with theright strategies anyone achieve remarkable
(00:42):
results.
Whether you're a seasoned leader or juststarting a business.
This podcast is your guide to achieve yourgoals with simplicity and efficiency.
Let's embark on this journey together and makesuccess simple.
Alright, everybody.
Monique Fields here again, and I'm excited tointroduce you to a wonderful guest on the
(01:05):
remarkably simple show today.
Diana Acuna Andrey is an accomplished and verywell educated dynamic and energetic speaker and
trainer who brings more than 25 years of mentalhealth experience to the stage.
Diane is known as the burnout preventionspecialist, Her passion for this work comes
from having been on the brink of burnoutherself and learning the tricks and tips to
(01:29):
rekindle her passion.
Diane is on a mission to help individuals andorganizations to vanish burnout and make the
most of this one life.
Now, Diane, thank you so much for joining ustoday.
Thank you for having me.
I would love for you to just get us startedwith what's going to be a fantastic
conversation, just sharing a little bit of yourbackground and experience and what it is that
(01:52):
you're working on.
Sure.
Thank you.
So I, actually retired from education.
That was my first chapter.
And I was almost a statistic in education whereI almost left in the 1st 6 years.
And the reason was that I was in the mentalhealth field.
I was a school counselor, and I didn't reallylearn in graduate school, like, how to take
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care of myself?
How to how how does the caregiver take care ofthemselves?
And so I found myself on the brink of burnout.
Now, I mean, true story.
If if I had left at that moment, I still feellike I would have done a lot of good.
I had put 3 sexual perpetrators in jail by thattime.
I You know, there were a lot of good thingsthat happened.
But I really found myself on the brink ofburnout And this was a career that chose me.
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I didn't choose the career.
I actually decided in high school that I wasgonna become a and that's because my experience
with my counselor was awful.
And I didn't even know what a school counselorshould do, but I knew that no kids should leave
and room within adults in the educational arenaand feel the way that I did.
(03:04):
Feel like I had not been given voice feel likeI had had barriers put up for me.
So this was a really important mission for me.
And so define myself on the brink of burnoutwas devastating.
And, I mean, I went so far, Monique, as topursue another degree.
I actually went to massage therapy school, andit was during that journey that I learned about
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taking care of myself and and not me just goingand getting a mani pedi.
It's wonderful.
I I'm all for it, but how to truly take care ofmy own well-being that actually helped me to
reignite my passion.
And then since then, I've just been learningmore tips and tricks, through different
vacations and opportunities that I hadthroughout my career.
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And then I started talking to people, and Irealized that And and there is some comfort,
and I wasn't the only one, but we are gonnalose some really good people across multiple
fields if we don't stop this epidemic, andthat's really what it's become.
I think this is obviously what you speakingresonate so much and perhaps you remember from
(04:09):
our sort of pre discussion that I too have, along background in education and absolutely
experienced a combination of things, one ofwhich was burnout that ultimately, you know,
prompted me to start to look at what is it thatI could do to take care of my So I love that
you took your personal experience with thisand, sort of jumped into the work of teaching
(04:33):
these tips and tricks to others.
Now you said you almost left education after 6years.
Tell me a little bit what happened, after youstarted to explore massage and personal
well-being.
Right.
So, I started to learn how to really take careof myself how to, separate my work and my life.
(04:55):
And I realized that my work had become my life.
And I remembered, a wonderful coworker I hadwhen when I first graduated undergrad, I moved
to New Orleans.
Which is sort of like moving to a foreigncountry.
It's there's things that happen there that justdon't happen anywhere else.
But, there were no camera phones, so we'll justleave it at So, but, no, in all honesty, my
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coworkers, I grew up in New York, and and itwas always move, move, move, hustle, hustle,
hustle, hustle.
Do the next thing.
And I had a coworker there who's who said tome, you know, Diane, she said, you grew up in
New York, where if it was due tomorrow, itshould have been in 2 weeks ago.
She said, you're in New Orleans now.
And, you know, she's and I just came back tome.
And she said, you know, if it's due today, youmight get it in 2 weeks.
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You know?
So it was about and it wasn't really about thatbecause we were always on time, but the thing
was it was about slowing down our pace.
Right?
Not everything is a fire.
And so what happens is that, you know, we talkabout, oh, I'm stressed.
But you know what?
The reality, stress is good.
Yes.
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I did just say that stress is good.
Stress is what puts us in fight or fight.
That's what actually helps us in, criticalsituations.
But the problem is we get ourselves in a modewhere everything's a fire.
And so our brain can't shut down, and that'swhen we go from just stress to the brink of
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burnout, right, because it's this chronicstress that we're we're we're experiencing.
And the reality is that that chronic stress hassome serious health implications.
And I also found that in myself.
I was never, like, sick, but, like, I had weirdthings happening.
Like, just and and I realized now it was justmy body trying to signal me that, hey.
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You're in chronic stress, sister, you need totake it down a notch, but I didn't.
And the reality is if we don't attend to thesignals our body is giving us, our body will
shut us down, whether for a day, a week, amonth, a real illness, because your body can't
you know, fire at that level all the time.
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So what I've learned to do is, stop and say,okay.
Is this really, a a critical situation?
See, we're very fortunate.
Our bodies and our brains are amazing.
And we have a 5 second delay between perceptionand action.
Mhmm.
Now through practice, through you know, a amindful practice or a meditation, whatever you
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wanna call it, you can learn to expand that sothat you don't automatically respond.
Because when we do that, we we keep ourselvesin that fight or flight.
So you have this 5 second delay that you canactually link them.
Right?
You wanna you wanna build the muscle betweenyou know, response, you know, or, between
perception and reaction.
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And it is a gift that we have.
And if you can learn to do that, and learn tocheck out what's going on in your body, you can
take yourself down.
And then there's very specific, like, shortactivities that you can do to, you know, help
you to calm down.
We just need to calm down.
Yes.
So, this is so relevant because as you said,across multiple industries.
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There are, and and it doesn't even have to bein some of the, like, first responder
categories.
And in so many places, we find ourselvesoverworking, very, you know, driven very
passionate, but losing sight of our wholewell-being, not just the career part of our
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life, but, Sometimes individuals relationshipscan be sacrificed, and those things undermine
over time with sort which sort of, reinforcethat stress that you talk about, this sort of
chronic condition that can go very quicklyfrom, oh, I'm stressed, or it's stressful right
now.
To being in a constant state of overwhelm thatfeels like I don't have any options here, and I
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want to quit.
And I have worked with and spoken to peoplewho, as you describe, completely shut down,
which is the opposite of what they want to do,I think this compelling desire to contribute
and make a difference and accomplish andachieve our goals is what drives us that
somehow we we we tell ourselves if I just keeppushing, you know, I'll get there.
(09:21):
I'll get over the hump.
And I think to some degree, it is true, but towhat you've just described, it takes very
intentional practice.
Yes.
And it's I always throw this plug in here.
It happens on just about every show.
It's really simple, the practice that re that'srequired to create that space that you're
talking about, and to be able to expand it,that we we sort of naturally have 5 seconds,
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and the purpose of this intentional regular andvery simple practice is to help us build in the
additional time that we need when things gettough or perhaps when we're having, you know,
multiple demands or whatever is the space thatwe need.
So I love that you share Sort of naturally someof the things that you've discovered to help
navigate those times when quite frankly it isstressful.
(10:06):
It's not your imagination.
There are stressful things going on.
So, what are some of the challenges, I guess,or common pitfalls that you're seeing right now
with the people that you work with that they'rereally struggling with?
That are bringing them to this place ofburnout.
So the biggest thing, and you already mentionedit, is people say I don't have time.
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Time.
Time is time is finite.
Right?
There's 24 hours in a day.
We all, I mean, you know, we all get the sameamount of time.
But some people are utilizing it better thanothers.
And I'm not saying anyone's wasting timebecause you also touched on this.
We get so overwhelmed that we shut down.
Yes.
And when we shut down, that's when we lose proproductivity.
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But the reality is if we take care of ourselvesin little bits and bytes, We actually have more
to give.
You know, there's, you probably remember thatbook because it was so big in education is, is
about filling your bucket.
Mhmm.
You know?
But the reality is we will we all get depleted.
We do.
But, we go.
And like I said earlier, I have nothing againstmany patties actually really a big fan, the
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facial, bring it on, give me a spot day.
But that puts drops in our bucket.
Right?
And then what happens is we put a few drops in.
We're like, okay.
And next thing we know spill it all.
And now we're at a deficit again.
And so what we need to learn to do is firstfill our own bucket, right, it's sort of like
they talk about on the plane.
Put your oxygen mask on first before you helpothers.
You have to fill your own bucket, and you can'tcount on external, things to do that, you have
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to do it.
And then what happens is if you stay full, thenyou can give from the overflow and you actually
have more to give.
So you're more efficient in your work.
You're more present with people.
And the and the reality is burnout is mostlywhen you look in the literature, it's mostly
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tied to the workplace.
But the reality is there's nothing that doesn'tget affected by it.
Right?
Because if I'm part of that work, I havenothing to to give to the people at home.
For me, one of the one of the things I realizedin some of the changes that I've made over time
is that, you know, at one point, I was in aschool district where I was in charge of the
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mental well-being of, like, a 190,000 kids.
But the one that I had by birth at that time, Ionly had one at home, and before my bonus kids.
I'm like, the one that I'm most responsible forwas getting the least of me.
And I thought, this isn't okay.
This is not okay.
I've got to do something different.
So the I will say that too.
Like, just because early in my career, Ilearned the tips and tricks.
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Was I perfect at utilizing all the time?
No.
But at least I started to catch the warningsigns.
And I'm like, woah.
Gotta pump the brakes here.
Right?
And it it goes back to that coworker of mine.
She once said, you know, you grew up in thatyou live to work.
She goes, here, we work to live.
Right?
We we do this job so that we can have a lifethat we can pay our bills and have a home and
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That kind of and I was like, it was such amental shift for me in the way that I grew up
versus, you know, the way that I now choose tolive my life is that my family is 1st.
Because, another friend of mine, he once said,work will never love you back, Diane.
It'll never love you back.
And I was like, cool.
You know?
(13:25):
A powerful phrase.
Right?
Yeah.
I mean and I was like, okay.
I I've gotta keep this in check.
So, you know, you really have to, decide whatis a priority because if everything's a
priority, nothing's a priority.
And so your health and your family, right, andfor a lot of people, their faith those are the
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those should be your top 3.
Whatever whatever your spirituality is, it forsome people that's going to church or temple or
mosque, other people, it's going to be and andcommune in the woods and and and height.
Whatever it is for you, you need to keep thepriorities the priority.
Because the other things will fail and fall.
So, you know, you wanna make sure that whileyou're being effective work.
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And, and the way you really do that is bytaking time to fill your own bucket so you have
this time to give.
The other day, I posted, my husband's like,come on.
We just need to go and take a sunset cruise.
We're very blessed to have a sailboat.
He's been sailing for 40 years.
And I was like, Like, I had this to do and Iand I went, and I I was like and I came home
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and I was productive.
And while I was there, I was able to becreative.
Right?
And I was able to think about things and sortof thing.
Things just came to such clarity.
Now, for me, that's that's the water.
I grew up near the water, and the water islike, where I get my heartbeat, preferably a
notion, but I'll take a lake because that'swhat I have access to.
You know?
So you have to figure out what it is for youthat is going to fill that bucket so that you
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can get from the overflow.
Because if we're depleted, we're useless.
And and don't again, as I said earlier, it'snot just at work.
It affects every aspect of your life.
So, this brings up for me two ideas.
Excuse me.
One of the biggest ones, one of the biggestmistakes that I remember making is, being in
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school leadership thinking that quick fixeswould work.
And I absolutely had a face because I'm notreally a hair makeup and nails person.
Where I thought, you know, wow, things havebeen really stressful.
Let me just go get a massage.
Let me, you know, do something to treat myself.
You know, go shopping.
And there everybody has a different type oftherapy.
(15:43):
But what I found over time is that those thingshad a lessening degree of effect, you know, at
at some point, it just didn't matter.
I didn't need anybody to rub my feet or myhands.
I'd, you know, it it was not gonna be relaxingor have any noticeable, impact, you know,
(16:04):
beyond beyond the Moneke.
And so I think back to what we were talkingabout with regular practice, regular exercise,
whatever it is that is grounding us, spendingtime to be in quiet reflection.
One of the practices that I do daily is towrite out my gratitude.
That's something that I need to do every singleday to keep the things that are the priorities
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in perspective.
Because I think as you said, it's one thing topour your heart out, but it really does need to
be full.
When you pour your heart out and your heart ishalf empty, it has a tremendous effect like you
said on you and everything around you.
But when you're giving from this full place,completely well resourced in all of the areas
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of view.
What you give has, I would call it like anexponential potential to impact those around
you and maintain the things that are yourpriorities.
So I love that you highlight, this.
The second thing that stood out to me that Ialso remember that I struggled with in my
early, administration days.
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And for sure, when I transitioned fromassistant principal, to principle that sort of
leap from assistant extraordinaire to CEO ofeverything with no VPs that condition.
I think it's so important and I talk about thisa lot that We can be very much on autopilot and
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not intentionally, giving awareness to whatwe're thinking and patterns that we're
developing.
One of my favorite things to encourage peopleto do is to just notice how they're thinking
and responding internally to what's going onBecause very often, we're telling ourselves
lies.
We're making up stories that are not true aboutour circumstances.
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Or excuses.
Mhmm.
Right.
And very often, we're, you know, we're decidingon a conclusion when many other options could
be true, and this I think exacerbates thestress that we feel and sort of accelerates or,
you know, makes deeper this path that we'retaking toward perhaps overwhelm and burnout.
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So I I I definitely appreciate what you justdescribed about just learning to take this time
and, be in these moments and for sure, fillingour bucket.
It seems, you know, like an overplayed idea,but it can't be understated important this is.
So knowing that people have some of thesecommon challenges, what are the ways that you
are finding that, are most successful in termsof helping the people that you support to
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incorporate practices like the ones we've beendiscussing into their daily personal life and
their work life.
So the first thing I'll say and and this goesback to, like, what are the the challenges
people have?
And, again, I said time, But when I I need tobe clear that it while I would love to see
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everybody exercise for 30 to 45 minutes a day.
Well, I would love to see people, have a 20, 30minute mindfulness practice, right?
And that is that is sort of like the theskewed, version of what really you need to do
because everyone says, oh, well, I I can't sitstill.
For 20 minutes.
I can't and I can't bend my legs like that,well, you know, and sit in a yoy position.
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You don't actually have to.
Right?
You just need to start And, you know, so, I wasworking with one young lady, and she's like,
but my mind just wanders.
And I said, then you're doing it.
She's like, what?
I'm like, the fact that you noticed that yourmind wanders is part of the practice.
See, there's this this image that my mind isgonna be fully clear, and I'm gonna be in this
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zen place.
You can get to this zen place, but it doesn'tmean your mind's fully clear.
What you're looking to do is learn to, forexample, sit and, like, I say ground yourself
in a simple way to ground yourself, whether athome, or at work.
I actually used to do this in my car before Ileft my parking spot, you know, before I got on
the road, because I had, I had a rough commute.
(20:11):
And I need it to be fully present because, youknow, I didn't want to have an accident.
I mean, Atlanta highways are dangerous.
So And people are angry.
People are angry on the road.
So I need it to be calm.
So you could just sit, and you could do thisright now, Monique.
And you can keep your eyes open.
You can do close.
Please, people, if you're ever driving, don'tclose the eyes because you actually can still
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do this open, but be aware of one thing.
For example, if I'm driving, I can say,alright.
I just need to be conscious of my hands on thewheel.
What does it feel like?
Is there sun coming through the, windshield?
Is that warming my hands?
Is the steering wheel warm?
Is it smooth?
Is it bumpy?
And I can kind of, like, you know, just do thatand be there in that sense.
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You sitting in your seat right there, I willwalk people through a short little practice
where I say, okay.
Feel your seat and and feel your bottom in theseat.
Have your feet on the floor.
Where is your back touching?
You could touch the arms of the thing.
You could touch table?
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Is, again, is it cool?
Is it warm?
Is it smooth?
Is it and just bringing yourself into thepresent moment.
And that's why on my website, I have, my famous30 second reset.
Because if you can just focus yourself for 30second It is amazing how you can, like and I
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suggest that people do this before they go intoan important meeting.
Actually, I shared these practices with mysister, and she does it with her team.
She's like, guys, we've all just been running,and they're all virtual.
So she's like, we're running meeting to meetLet's just take up take take 30 seconds here,
and she'll walk them through 1.
And it is amazing.
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And she said the first time she did it, she'sshe, I just, she invited them to do it.
She like, you don't have to, or you could justsit quietly if you don't wanna participate.
She said her chat was lighting up.
Her email lit up.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for giving me a moment.
You know?
So it's it can be that simple.
It can be, and this is another one of thosebetween that 5 seconds.
(22:21):
There there's probably somebody in yourworkplace could be at your home.
I live with teenagers where they can they can,you know, kinda spark you up.
Right?
So you can just stop and grab your water.
Right?
But don't just take a sip.
Really feel like the water is full.
It's going, into my mouth.
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I feel it across my tongue.
I feel it going down my throat.
I feel it going down.
I'm gonna let it settle.
That can buy you 10, 20, 30 seconds before yourespond.
Because sometimes we say things that we don'tmean.
You know, it's, you know, like, we can't takeback the rock after it's thrown.
We can't take back the hurtful word.
Mhmm.
So pause.
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Just a simple pause is what you need to do andjust get back in the present.
I love the the practicality of this because youyou help with, distinguishing this, simple
practice for a beginner and a more advancedperson.
Right?
Like, when you've had enough practice, I'm sureyou experienced this, but when you said to
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ground yourself, I practiced while I while Ilistened, and I chose my heartbeat.
It's my favorite thing to focus on because I'mjust thrilled that I can feel it.
I can remember when I was never conscious ofanything on the inside of me.
But this, you know, practice, like, what is itthat you would teach someone?
Because I've worked with people who have justbeen so busy that they cannot control their
(23:51):
breath yet.
It is going to be work.
And what you've just described is giving anindividual something that's very accessible so
that they can grow this intentional practice.
The other thing that I think is so powerfulhere is to your point, Time is finite, but I
love the concept of wantum effect.
(24:12):
And you can look up on the internet or whereverit is that you find your good definitions.
And Quanda has multiple definitions, but Ithink that we definitely underestimate the
potential of time in the sense that weimmediately assume that you need a lot of it.
Right.
The concept of a quantum or quanta is thetiniest quantity of something that has
(24:35):
potential for the greatest impact.
And I agree with you both 5 seconds.
And 30 seconds, which we miss all day long,have the potential to entirely change a meeting
a day or, an interaction with a loved one whenyou have been stressed.
So this is such a powerful, example, and I'mexcited that people who listen to this will,
(24:58):
you know, just get to take away that nugget forsure.
Tell me this.
Where would people follow you to find more?
You've mentioned your website and some of thework that you do.
How can we get a little bit more of what Dianeoffers?
Yeah.
So my website is Diane Acuna acuna, and becauseI can't put the till day.
So diane acuna.com, dia nneacuna.com.
(25:22):
And on there, there's a resources tab that hasthese 32nd resets.
You can follow me on LinkedIn, on LinkedIn, andthat's Diana Cunha Andre.
And, of course, on Instagram, I do a lot ofinspirational stuff, and that's dye Andre, d I
a n d r e e, 7, diandre 7.
And, I'm always trying to post inspirationalthings and help people just to see, the the
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wonderful in the ordinary, right, becausethat's how we just make you know, the monotony
into into magical moments.
And so, try I try to I try to live the exampleAnd every day, I give myself grace if I don't,
and we move on and we start again.
And that's the beautiful thing is we can alwaysjust reset, refocus, reboot, Let's do this.
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And make magical moments.
I love everything that is about creationbecause we are along with underestimating time,
we underestimate our creative ability to impactwhat's going on with the world around us.
And as we've been talking about today, so muchof that where the large part of that starts
with what's happening inside of us and theawareness and the noticing that we give to the
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state that we are in.
So this brings me to my 2 favorite finalquestions.
So we're getting a little bit more chatting outof us.
The first one is that I have this belief.
I heard a question recently.
It absolutely had an exponential impact interms of my own life and practice.
And I'm curious what your answer to thisquestion would be for our audience.
(26:55):
So we've spoken in a way that relates to allsorts of people.
Right?
Like professionals, whatever industry you'reworking in, I think this conversation has been
so relevant So I'm gonna ask this question inthe purest form, but what is the one thing that
you believe that anyone can do?
That after they do this thing, everything elsein their life is going to be easy and perhaps
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things that are easier and perhaps things intheir life that would be considered stressful.
Not so much.
What's your suggestion for that?
That is a great question.
And for me, it's the power of pause, likeconsciously pausing, and whether that is to
(27:41):
take a breath or make a moment.
You know, I tell people if you if you again,they'll say, I don't have time.
I wanna say put your phone down.
But, just just pausing.
And that could be as simple as slipping offyour shoes and letting your feet touch the
(28:01):
ground to bring you back down to the present.
The power of pause before we speak before wejump into an activity, it gives us a moment.
It just says, I care about myself.
I care about my well-being.
I'm gonna pause for just a second so I canbring my best self to whatever arena, home
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work, you know, being out with friends,whatever it is, power of loss.
I love that you use the word power with thatbecause as you were speaking and, you know,
explaining the concept so many differentdirections raised in my mind about power that
this affords an individual.
There's so much potential there because if youare pausing for just a moment when you said it
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says to me I care about myself.
Perhaps it means I care about how I show up.
I care about what I contribute to thesituation.
Many of us have very high, you know, values andexpectations for ourselves.
And if we are reactive all the time, we mightbe giving the situation what it is asking for
instead of what we require.
(29:05):
And this power of pause is gonna create a spacewhere you know, we get a moment to contemplate
how do we want to be in this Moneke.
Right?
And and and tell ourselves that that's whatwe're going to bring.
So I think there are so many other benefitsthat you could get from the power of pause.
Just that one has me excited.
And it wants me, brings me to my next questionand my final question, which is about
(29:28):
transformation because you and I share theexperience that we've been I've been burned out
I don't I don't like to say I was on the brinkof burnout, and then I fell over.
I was completely burned out, and have come backfrom that.
But I I wonder if it's your own story or ifthere is another that you've witnessed that
might make this concept and what we've talkedabout today memorable for the listeners that
(29:52):
you know of where just taking this time topause or perhaps having this intentional,
practice that we've discussed has really helpedan individual.
I would love to hear a favorite story oftransformation that you know.
You know, I I think, oh, I can so I I was luckyenough to be able to bring this into the
(30:15):
workplace.
I've had the opportunity to do that in in mylast school.
And there's nothing more satisfying than havingsomebody to shoot you a quick, well, she
actually, you know, dmed me and said, I wantyou to know that I was able to pause.
And in that pause, I not only was able to thinkabout my own response, She said, but I didn't
(30:40):
even realize that I was diffusing the pressurethat was building in our team meeting because
she was the team lead.
And so by her pausing, Everybody paused.
And she said, I am so proud of myself.
She said, because she said, normally, what hadwhatever had transpired, she said, it would
have just set me off.
And she said, and I didn't let it spark aflame.
(31:03):
And that's actually one of the the tools thatwe use is that if you You know, you can see
smoke.
And what happens when you, fan the smoke?
It goes the fire.
It grows the fire.
And if I continue to feed the fire, it's goingto become, an out of control blaze.
So she said, I recognize the smoke.
(31:24):
And she said, and instead of of fanning it, shesaid, I paused.
And she said, but it not only helped me, but ithelped the team.
And I was able to redirect us.
So I'll take the call in.
Yeah.
All day long, and it's funny because when I I'mequating the pause to just, like, diffusing
some of that energy.
It's the same thing with a fire and a candle.
(31:45):
Like, what happens if you don't give it air?
Right.
It it naturally dissipates.
And you're in a better position if you didn'tneed a fire at that moment.
I remember, one of the things that I used to,actually learned it from a person, the
principal that I had been a system principalwith, but I taught it to my staff.
It's like, listen.
(32:06):
Sometimes you need a break.
All I need you to do is call me and say I needa coke.
Just say I need a coke.
I don't drink coke.
That's not the point.
Just take a moment.
It happens.
It's human.
Making the space safe for pause, right?
Like, that you don't have to immediately react.
I love that the person that you talked aboutnormalize that for her team.
(32:27):
What beautiful modeling.
And as you said, diffusion of attention, that'ssuch an excellent example.
Both a simple and very powerful practice.
Diana, this Diane, this has been such afantastic conversation so enlightening and
inspiring.
And I know for sure I'll be following you, andI hope that all of the the listeners today will
(32:47):
be doing the same.
Thank you so much for joining me.
Thank you so much for having me.
We we do this job so that we can have a lifethat we can pay our bills and have a home.
And that can and I was like, it was such amental shift for me.
Mhmm.
In the way that I grew up versus, you know, theway that I now choose to live my life is that
my family is 1st.
Because, another friend of mine, he once said,work will never love you back, Diane.
(00:21):
It'll never love you back.
And I was like, cool.
You know,
are you ready to unlock your full potential andachieve your personal, professional, and
financial goals?
Simply simple.
The podcast dedicated to helping you do justthat.
I'm Monique Fields, and I believe that with theright strategies anyone achieve remarkable
(00:42):
results.
Whether you're a seasoned leader or juststarting a business.
This podcast is your guide to achieve yourgoals with simplicity and efficiency.
Let's embark on this journey together and makesuccess simple.
Alright, everybody.
Monique Fields here again, and I'm excited tointroduce you to a wonderful guest on the
(01:05):
remarkably simple show today.
Diana Acuna Andrey is an accomplished and verywell educated dynamic and energetic speaker and
trainer who brings more than 25 years of mentalhealth experience to the stage.
Diane is known as the burnout preventionspecialist, Her passion for this work comes
from having been on the brink of burnoutherself and learning the tricks and tips to
(01:29):
rekindle her passion.
Diane is on a mission to help individuals andorganizations to vanish burnout and make the
most of this one life.
Now, Diane, thank you so much for joining ustoday.
Thank you for having me.
I would love for you to just get us startedwith what's going to be a fantastic
conversation, just sharing a little bit of yourbackground and experience and what it is that
(01:52):
you're working on.
Sure.
Thank you.
So I, actually retired from education.
That was my first chapter.
And I was almost a statistic in education whereI almost left in the 1st 6 years.
And the reason was that I was in the mentalhealth field.
I was a school counselor, and I didn't reallylearn in graduate school, like, how to take
(02:17):
care of myself?
How to how how does the caregiver take care ofthemselves?
And so I found myself on the brink of burnout.
Now, I mean, true story.
If if I had left at that moment, I still feellike I would have done a lot of good.
I had put 3 sexual perpetrators in jail by thattime.
I You know, there were a lot of good thingsthat happened.
But I really found myself on the brink ofburnout And this was a career that chose me.
(02:43):
I didn't choose the career.
I actually decided in high school that I wasgonna become a and that's because my experience
with my counselor was awful.
And I didn't even know what a school counselorshould do, but I knew that no kids should leave
and room within adults in the educational arenaand feel the way that I did.
(03:04):
Feel like I had not been given voice feel likeI had had barriers put up for me.
So this was a really important mission for me.
And so define myself on the brink of burnoutwas devastating.
And, I mean, I went so far, Monique, as topursue another degree.
I actually went to massage therapy school, andit was during that journey that I learned about
(03:24):
taking care of myself and and not me just goingand getting a mani pedi.
It's wonderful.
I I'm all for it, but how to truly take care ofmy own well-being that actually helped me to
reignite my passion.
And then since then, I've just been learningmore tips and tricks, through different
vacations and opportunities that I hadthroughout my career.
(03:46):
And then I started talking to people, and Irealized that And and there is some comfort,
and I wasn't the only one, but we are gonnalose some really good people across multiple
fields if we don't stop this epidemic, andthat's really what it's become.
I think this is obviously what you speakingresonate so much and perhaps you remember from
(04:09):
our sort of pre discussion that I too have, along background in education and absolutely
experienced a combination of things, one ofwhich was burnout that ultimately, you know,
prompted me to start to look at what is it thatI could do to take care of my So I love that
you took your personal experience with thisand, sort of jumped into the work of teaching
(04:33):
these tips and tricks to others.
Now you said you almost left education after 6years.
Tell me a little bit what happened, after youstarted to explore massage and personal
well-being.
Right.
So, I started to learn how to really take careof myself how to, separate my work and my life.
(04:55):
And I realized that my work had become my life.
And I remembered, a wonderful coworker I hadwhen when I first graduated undergrad, I moved
to New Orleans.
Which is sort of like moving to a foreigncountry.
It's there's things that happen there that justdon't happen anywhere else.
But, there were no camera phones, so we'll justleave it at So, but, no, in all honesty, my
(05:18):
coworkers, I grew up in New York, and and itwas always move, move, move, hustle, hustle,
hustle, hustle.
Do the next thing.
And I had a coworker there who's who said tome, you know, Diane, she said, you grew up in
New York, where if it was due tomorrow, itshould have been in 2 weeks ago.
She said, you're in New Orleans now.
And, you know, she's and I just came back tome.
And she said, you know, if it's due today, youmight get it in 2 weeks.
(05:41):
You know?
So it was about and it wasn't really about thatbecause we were always on time, but the thing
was it was about slowing down our pace.
Right?
Not everything is a fire.
And so what happens is that, you know, we talkabout, oh, I'm stressed.
But you know what?
The reality, stress is good.
Yes.
(06:01):
I did just say that stress is good.
Stress is what puts us in fight or fight.
That's what actually helps us in, criticalsituations.
But the problem is we get ourselves in a modewhere everything's a fire.
And so our brain can't shut down, and that'swhen we go from just stress to the brink of
(06:23):
burnout, right, because it's this chronicstress that we're we're we're experiencing.
And the reality is that that chronic stress hassome serious health implications.
And I also found that in myself.
I was never, like, sick, but, like, I had weirdthings happening.
Like, just and and I realized now it was justmy body trying to signal me that, hey.
(06:44):
You're in chronic stress, sister, you need totake it down a notch, but I didn't.
And the reality is if we don't attend to thesignals our body is giving us, our body will
shut us down, whether for a day, a week, amonth, a real illness, because your body can't
you know, fire at that level all the time.
(07:05):
So what I've learned to do is, stop and say,okay.
Is this really, a a critical situation?
See, we're very fortunate.
Our bodies and our brains are amazing.
And we have a 5 second delay between perceptionand action.
Mhmm.
Now through practice, through you know, a amindful practice or a meditation, whatever you
(07:30):
wanna call it, you can learn to expand that sothat you don't automatically respond.
Because when we do that, we we keep ourselvesin that fight or flight.
So you have this 5 second delay that you canactually link them.
Right?
You wanna you wanna build the muscle betweenyou know, response, you know, or, between
perception and reaction.
(07:51):
And it is a gift that we have.
And if you can learn to do that, and learn tocheck out what's going on in your body, you can
take yourself down.
And then there's very specific, like, shortactivities that you can do to, you know, help
you to calm down.
We just need to calm down.
Yes.
So, this is so relevant because as you said,across multiple industries.
(08:14):
There are, and and it doesn't even have to bein some of the, like, first responder
categories.
And in so many places, we find ourselvesoverworking, very, you know, driven very
passionate, but losing sight of our wholewell-being, not just the career part of our
(08:34):
life, but, Sometimes individuals relationshipscan be sacrificed, and those things undermine
over time with sort which sort of, reinforcethat stress that you talk about, this sort of
chronic condition that can go very quicklyfrom, oh, I'm stressed, or it's stressful right
now.
To being in a constant state of overwhelm thatfeels like I don't have any options here, and I
(08:59):
want to quit.
And I have worked with and spoken to peoplewho, as you describe, completely shut down,
which is the opposite of what they want to do,I think this compelling desire to contribute
and make a difference and accomplish andachieve our goals is what drives us that
somehow we we we tell ourselves if I just keeppushing, you know, I'll get there.
(09:21):
I'll get over the hump.
And I think to some degree, it is true, but towhat you've just described, it takes very
intentional practice.
Yes.
And it's I always throw this plug in here.
It happens on just about every show.
It's really simple, the practice that re that'srequired to create that space that you're
talking about, and to be able to expand it,that we we sort of naturally have 5 seconds,
(09:45):
and the purpose of this intentional regular andvery simple practice is to help us build in the
additional time that we need when things gettough or perhaps when we're having, you know,
multiple demands or whatever is the space thatwe need.
So I love that you share Sort of naturally someof the things that you've discovered to help
navigate those times when quite frankly it isstressful.
(10:06):
It's not your imagination.
There are stressful things going on.
So, what are some of the challenges, I guess,or common pitfalls that you're seeing right now
with the people that you work with that they'rereally struggling with?
That are bringing them to this place ofburnout.
So the biggest thing, and you already mentionedit, is people say I don't have time.
(10:29):
Time.
Time is time is finite.
Right?
There's 24 hours in a day.
We all, I mean, you know, we all get the sameamount of time.
But some people are utilizing it better thanothers.
And I'm not saying anyone's wasting timebecause you also touched on this.
We get so overwhelmed that we shut down.
Yes.
And when we shut down, that's when we lose proproductivity.
(10:49):
But the reality is if we take care of ourselvesin little bits and bytes, We actually have more
to give.
You know, there's, you probably remember thatbook because it was so big in education is, is
about filling your bucket.
Mhmm.
You know?
But the reality is we will we all get depleted.
We do.
But, we go.
And like I said earlier, I have nothing againstmany patties actually really a big fan, the
(11:12):
facial, bring it on, give me a spot day.
But that puts drops in our bucket.
Right?
And then what happens is we put a few drops in.
We're like, okay.
And next thing we know spill it all.
And now we're at a deficit again.
And so what we need to learn to do is firstfill our own bucket, right, it's sort of like
they talk about on the plane.
Put your oxygen mask on first before you helpothers.
You have to fill your own bucket, and you can'tcount on external, things to do that, you have
(11:39):
to do it.
And then what happens is if you stay full, thenyou can give from the overflow and you actually
have more to give.
So you're more efficient in your work.
You're more present with people.
And the and the reality is burnout is mostlywhen you look in the literature, it's mostly
(11:59):
tied to the workplace.
But the reality is there's nothing that doesn'tget affected by it.
Right?
Because if I'm part of that work, I havenothing to to give to the people at home.
For me, one of the one of the things I realizedin some of the changes that I've made over time
is that, you know, at one point, I was in aschool district where I was in charge of the
(12:20):
mental well-being of, like, a 190,000 kids.
But the one that I had by birth at that time, Ionly had one at home, and before my bonus kids.
I'm like, the one that I'm most responsible forwas getting the least of me.
And I thought, this isn't okay.
This is not okay.
I've got to do something different.
So the I will say that too.
Like, just because early in my career, Ilearned the tips and tricks.
(12:43):
Was I perfect at utilizing all the time?
No.
But at least I started to catch the warningsigns.
And I'm like, woah.
Gotta pump the brakes here.
Right?
And it it goes back to that coworker of mine.
She once said, you know, you grew up in thatyou live to work.
She goes, here, we work to live.
Right?
We we do this job so that we can have a lifethat we can pay our bills and have a home and
(13:05):
That kind of and I was like, it was such amental shift for me in the way that I grew up
versus, you know, the way that I now choose tolive my life is that my family is 1st.
Because, another friend of mine, he once said,work will never love you back, Diane.
It'll never love you back.
And I was like, cool.
You know?
(13:25):
A powerful phrase.
Right?
Yeah.
I mean and I was like, okay.
I I've gotta keep this in check.
So, you know, you really have to, decide whatis a priority because if everything's a
priority, nothing's a priority.
And so your health and your family, right, andfor a lot of people, their faith those are the
(13:47):
those should be your top 3.
Whatever whatever your spirituality is, it forsome people that's going to church or temple or
mosque, other people, it's going to be and andcommune in the woods and and and height.
Whatever it is for you, you need to keep thepriorities the priority.
Because the other things will fail and fall.
So, you know, you wanna make sure that whileyou're being effective work.
(14:11):
And, and the way you really do that is bytaking time to fill your own bucket so you have
this time to give.
The other day, I posted, my husband's like,come on.
We just need to go and take a sunset cruise.
We're very blessed to have a sailboat.
He's been sailing for 40 years.
And I was like, Like, I had this to do and Iand I went, and I I was like and I came home
(14:33):
and I was productive.
And while I was there, I was able to becreative.
Right?
And I was able to think about things and sortof thing.
Things just came to such clarity.
Now, for me, that's that's the water.
I grew up near the water, and the water islike, where I get my heartbeat, preferably a
notion, but I'll take a lake because that'swhat I have access to.
You know?
So you have to figure out what it is for youthat is going to fill that bucket so that you
(14:58):
can get from the overflow.
Because if we're depleted, we're useless.
And and don't again, as I said earlier, it'snot just at work.
It affects every aspect of your life.
So, this brings up for me two ideas.
Excuse me.
One of the biggest ones, one of the biggestmistakes that I remember making is, being in
(15:22):
school leadership thinking that quick fixeswould work.
And I absolutely had a face because I'm notreally a hair makeup and nails person.
Where I thought, you know, wow, things havebeen really stressful.
Let me just go get a massage.
Let me, you know, do something to treat myself.
You know, go shopping.
And there everybody has a different type oftherapy.
(15:43):
But what I found over time is that those thingshad a lessening degree of effect, you know, at
at some point, it just didn't matter.
I didn't need anybody to rub my feet or myhands.
I'd, you know, it it was not gonna be relaxingor have any noticeable, impact, you know,
(16:04):
beyond beyond the Moneke.
And so I think back to what we were talkingabout with regular practice, regular exercise,
whatever it is that is grounding us, spendingtime to be in quiet reflection.
One of the practices that I do daily is towrite out my gratitude.
That's something that I need to do every singleday to keep the things that are the priorities
(16:28):
in perspective.
Because I think as you said, it's one thing topour your heart out, but it really does need to
be full.
When you pour your heart out and your heart ishalf empty, it has a tremendous effect like you
said on you and everything around you.
But when you're giving from this full place,completely well resourced in all of the areas
(16:51):
of view.
What you give has, I would call it like anexponential potential to impact those around
you and maintain the things that are yourpriorities.
So I love that you highlight, this.
The second thing that stood out to me that Ialso remember that I struggled with in my
early, administration days.
(17:12):
And for sure, when I transitioned fromassistant principal, to principle that sort of
leap from assistant extraordinaire to CEO ofeverything with no VPs that condition.
I think it's so important and I talk about thisa lot that We can be very much on autopilot and
(17:34):
not intentionally, giving awareness to whatwe're thinking and patterns that we're
developing.
One of my favorite things to encourage peopleto do is to just notice how they're thinking
and responding internally to what's going onBecause very often, we're telling ourselves
lies.
We're making up stories that are not true aboutour circumstances.
(17:55):
Or excuses.
Mhmm.
Right.
And very often, we're, you know, we're decidingon a conclusion when many other options could
be true, and this I think exacerbates thestress that we feel and sort of accelerates or,
you know, makes deeper this path that we'retaking toward perhaps overwhelm and burnout.
(18:19):
So I I I definitely appreciate what you justdescribed about just learning to take this time
and, be in these moments and for sure, fillingour bucket.
It seems, you know, like an overplayed idea,but it can't be understated important this is.
So knowing that people have some of thesecommon challenges, what are the ways that you
are finding that, are most successful in termsof helping the people that you support to
(18:44):
incorporate practices like the ones we've beendiscussing into their daily personal life and
their work life.
So the first thing I'll say and and this goesback to, like, what are the the challenges
people have?
And, again, I said time, But when I I need tobe clear that it while I would love to see
(19:04):
everybody exercise for 30 to 45 minutes a day.
Well, I would love to see people, have a 20, 30minute mindfulness practice, right?
And that is that is sort of like the theskewed, version of what really you need to do
because everyone says, oh, well, I I can't sitstill.
For 20 minutes.
I can't and I can't bend my legs like that,well, you know, and sit in a yoy position.
(19:28):
You don't actually have to.
Right?
You just need to start And, you know, so, I wasworking with one young lady, and she's like,
but my mind just wanders.
And I said, then you're doing it.
She's like, what?
I'm like, the fact that you noticed that yourmind wanders is part of the practice.
See, there's this this image that my mind isgonna be fully clear, and I'm gonna be in this
(19:50):
zen place.
You can get to this zen place, but it doesn'tmean your mind's fully clear.
What you're looking to do is learn to, forexample, sit and, like, I say ground yourself
in a simple way to ground yourself, whether athome, or at work.
I actually used to do this in my car before Ileft my parking spot, you know, before I got on
the road, because I had, I had a rough commute.
(20:11):
And I need it to be fully present because, youknow, I didn't want to have an accident.
I mean, Atlanta highways are dangerous.
So And people are angry.
People are angry on the road.
So I need it to be calm.
So you could just sit, and you could do thisright now, Monique.
And you can keep your eyes open.
You can do close.
Please, people, if you're ever driving, don'tclose the eyes because you actually can still
(20:32):
do this open, but be aware of one thing.
For example, if I'm driving, I can say,alright.
I just need to be conscious of my hands on thewheel.
What does it feel like?
Is there sun coming through the, windshield?
Is that warming my hands?
Is the steering wheel warm?
Is it smooth?
Is it bumpy?
And I can kind of, like, you know, just do thatand be there in that sense.
(20:55):
You sitting in your seat right there, I willwalk people through a short little practice
where I say, okay.
Feel your seat and and feel your bottom in theseat.
Have your feet on the floor.
Where is your back touching?
You could touch the arms of the thing.
You could touch table?
(21:16):
Is, again, is it cool?
Is it warm?
Is it smooth?
Is it and just bringing yourself into thepresent moment.
And that's why on my website, I have, my famous30 second reset.
Because if you can just focus yourself for 30second It is amazing how you can, like and I
(21:38):
suggest that people do this before they go intoan important meeting.
Actually, I shared these practices with mysister, and she does it with her team.
She's like, guys, we've all just been running,and they're all virtual.
So she's like, we're running meeting to meetLet's just take up take take 30 seconds here,
and she'll walk them through 1.
And it is amazing.
(21:58):
And she said the first time she did it, she'sshe, I just, she invited them to do it.
She like, you don't have to, or you could justsit quietly if you don't wanna participate.
She said her chat was lighting up.
Her email lit up.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for giving me a moment.
You know?
So it's it can be that simple.
It can be, and this is another one of thosebetween that 5 seconds.
(22:21):
There there's probably somebody in yourworkplace could be at your home.
I live with teenagers where they can they can,you know, kinda spark you up.
Right?
So you can just stop and grab your water.
Right?
But don't just take a sip.
Really feel like the water is full.
It's going, into my mouth.
(22:42):
I feel it across my tongue.
I feel it going down my throat.
I feel it going down.
I'm gonna let it settle.
That can buy you 10, 20, 30 seconds before yourespond.
Because sometimes we say things that we don'tmean.
You know, it's, you know, like, we can't takeback the rock after it's thrown.
We can't take back the hurtful word.
Mhmm.
So pause.
(23:04):
Just a simple pause is what you need to do andjust get back in the present.
I love the the practicality of this because youyou help with, distinguishing this, simple
practice for a beginner and a more advancedperson.
Right?
Like, when you've had enough practice, I'm sureyou experienced this, but when you said to
(23:27):
ground yourself, I practiced while I while Ilistened, and I chose my heartbeat.
It's my favorite thing to focus on because I'mjust thrilled that I can feel it.
I can remember when I was never conscious ofanything on the inside of me.
But this, you know, practice, like, what is itthat you would teach someone?
Because I've worked with people who have justbeen so busy that they cannot control their
(23:51):
breath yet.
It is going to be work.
And what you've just described is giving anindividual something that's very accessible so
that they can grow this intentional practice.
The other thing that I think is so powerfulhere is to your point, Time is finite, but I
love the concept of wantum effect.
(24:12):
And you can look up on the internet or whereverit is that you find your good definitions.
And Quanda has multiple definitions, but Ithink that we definitely underestimate the
potential of time in the sense that weimmediately assume that you need a lot of it.
Right.
The concept of a quantum or quanta is thetiniest quantity of something that has
(24:35):
potential for the greatest impact.
And I agree with you both 5 seconds.
And 30 seconds, which we miss all day long,have the potential to entirely change a meeting
a day or, an interaction with a loved one whenyou have been stressed.
So this is such a powerful, example, and I'mexcited that people who listen to this will,
(24:58):
you know, just get to take away that nugget forsure.
Tell me this.
Where would people follow you to find more?
You've mentioned your website and some of thework that you do.
How can we get a little bit more of what Dianeoffers?
Yeah.
So my website is Diane Acuna acuna, and becauseI can't put the till day.
So diane acuna.com, dia nneacuna.com.
(25:22):
And on there, there's a resources tab that hasthese 32nd resets.
You can follow me on LinkedIn, on LinkedIn, andthat's Diana Cunha Andre.
And, of course, on Instagram, I do a lot ofinspirational stuff, and that's dye Andre, d I
a n d r e e, 7, diandre 7.
And, I'm always trying to post inspirationalthings and help people just to see, the the
(25:48):
wonderful in the ordinary, right, becausethat's how we just make you know, the monotony
into into magical moments.
And so, try I try to I try to live the exampleAnd every day, I give myself grace if I don't,
and we move on and we start again.
And that's the beautiful thing is we can alwaysjust reset, refocus, reboot, Let's do this.
(26:11):
And make magical moments.
I love everything that is about creationbecause we are along with underestimating time,
we underestimate our creative ability to impactwhat's going on with the world around us.
And as we've been talking about today, so muchof that where the large part of that starts
with what's happening inside of us and theawareness and the noticing that we give to the
(26:33):
state that we are in.
So this brings me to my 2 favorite finalquestions.
So we're getting a little bit more chatting outof us.
The first one is that I have this belief.
I heard a question recently.
It absolutely had an exponential impact interms of my own life and practice.
And I'm curious what your answer to thisquestion would be for our audience.
(26:55):
So we've spoken in a way that relates to allsorts of people.
Right?
Like professionals, whatever industry you'reworking in, I think this conversation has been
so relevant So I'm gonna ask this question inthe purest form, but what is the one thing that
you believe that anyone can do?
That after they do this thing, everything elsein their life is going to be easy and perhaps
(27:19):
things that are easier and perhaps things intheir life that would be considered stressful.
Not so much.
What's your suggestion for that?
That is a great question.
And for me, it's the power of pause, likeconsciously pausing, and whether that is to
(27:41):
take a breath or make a moment.
You know, I tell people if you if you again,they'll say, I don't have time.
I wanna say put your phone down.
But, just just pausing.
And that could be as simple as slipping offyour shoes and letting your feet touch the
(28:01):
ground to bring you back down to the present.
The power of pause before we speak before wejump into an activity, it gives us a moment.
It just says, I care about myself.
I care about my well-being.
I'm gonna pause for just a second so I canbring my best self to whatever arena, home
(28:22):
work, you know, being out with friends,whatever it is, power of loss.
I love that you use the word power with thatbecause as you were speaking and, you know,
explaining the concept so many differentdirections raised in my mind about power that
this affords an individual.
There's so much potential there because if youare pausing for just a moment when you said it
(28:44):
says to me I care about myself.
Perhaps it means I care about how I show up.
I care about what I contribute to thesituation.
Many of us have very high, you know, values andexpectations for ourselves.
And if we are reactive all the time, we mightbe giving the situation what it is asking for
instead of what we require.
(29:05):
And this power of pause is gonna create a spacewhere you know, we get a moment to contemplate
how do we want to be in this Moneke.
Right?
And and and tell ourselves that that's whatwe're going to bring.
So I think there are so many other benefitsthat you could get from the power of pause.
Just that one has me excited.
And it wants me, brings me to my next questionand my final question, which is about
(29:28):
transformation because you and I share theexperience that we've been I've been burned out
I don't I don't like to say I was on the brinkof burnout, and then I fell over.
I was completely burned out, and have come backfrom that.
But I I wonder if it's your own story or ifthere is another that you've witnessed that
might make this concept and what we've talkedabout today memorable for the listeners that
(29:52):
you know of where just taking this time topause or perhaps having this intentional,
practice that we've discussed has really helpedan individual.
I would love to hear a favorite story oftransformation that you know.
You know, I I think, oh, I can so I I was luckyenough to be able to bring this into the
(30:15):
workplace.
I've had the opportunity to do that in in mylast school.
And there's nothing more satisfying than havingsomebody to shoot you a quick, well, she
actually, you know, dmed me and said, I wantyou to know that I was able to pause.
And in that pause, I not only was able to thinkabout my own response, She said, but I didn't
(30:40):
even realize that I was diffusing the pressurethat was building in our team meeting because
she was the team lead.
And so by her pausing, Everybody paused.
And she said, I am so proud of myself.
She said, because she said, normally, what hadwhatever had transpired, she said, it would
have just set me off.
And she said, and I didn't let it spark aflame.
(31:03):
And that's actually one of the the tools thatwe use is that if you You know, you can see
smoke.
And what happens when you, fan the smoke?
It goes the fire.
It grows the fire.
And if I continue to feed the fire, it's goingto become, an out of control blaze.
So she said, I recognize the smoke.
(31:24):
And she said, and instead of of fanning it, shesaid, I paused.
And she said, but it not only helped me, but ithelped the team.
And I was able to redirect us.
So I'll take the call in.
Yeah.
All day long, and it's funny because when I I'mequating the pause to just, like, diffusing
some of that energy.
It's the same thing with a fire and a candle.
(31:45):
Like, what happens if you don't give it air?
Right.
It it naturally dissipates.
And you're in a better position if you didn'tneed a fire at that moment.
I remember, one of the things that I used to,actually learned it from a person, the
principal that I had been a system principalwith, but I taught it to my staff.
It's like, listen.
(32:06):
Sometimes you need a break.
All I need you to do is call me and say I needa coke.
Just say I need a coke.
I don't drink coke.
That's not the point.
Just take a moment.
It happens.
It's human.
Making the space safe for pause, right?
Like, that you don't have to immediately react.
I love that the person that you talked aboutnormalize that for her team.
(32:27):
What beautiful modeling.
And as you said, diffusion of attention, that'ssuch an excellent example.
Both a simple and very powerful practice.
Diana, this Diane, this has been such afantastic conversation so enlightening and
inspiring.
And I know for sure I'll be following you, andI hope that all of the the listeners today will
(32:47):
be doing the same.
Thank you so much for joining me.
Thank you so much for having me.
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