June 28, 2024 • 30 mins
Moneke Fields and Caren Cooper discuss self-love, transitioning from corporate life to entrepreneurship, and tackling self-discipline and self-doubt. They explore overcoming limiting beliefs, addressing self-sabotage, and strategies for overcoming fear, emphasizing awareness and personal responsibility.
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(00:00):
1.
Oh my gosh.
Because they're only gonna do 1.
Right?
They're gonna try out the 1.
The first thing that came to mind, to be honestwith you, you love yourself and give yourself
some grace.
Don't cheat yourself.
Don't be angry.
I might can't be wrong to lose me.
I can't believe I'm doing this again.
You know, that type of thing.
We tend to get angry at ourselves for doing thesame thing or shaming, and I should be don't
(00:24):
shit on yourself.
It's like, you know, in other way of sayingLike, I see
this blah
blah blah.
You know, it's love yourself.
And I know in the moment it may it may not seemlike you can, but even if you just give you
yourself a hug, you know, give yourself greats,and give me and pat yourself on the back for
noticing the fact that you're feeling the waythat you're healing.
(00:45):
Because you're that's huge.
So honestly, when you're feeling that way, Iwould say just honestly give you self paced and
love yourself.
Just say, you know what?
It's okay.
I'm okay.
Are you ready to unlock your full potential andachieve your personal, professional, and
financial goals?
Uply simple.
The podcast dedicated to helping you do justthat.
(01:07):
I'm Monique Fields, and I believe that with theright strategies anyone achieve remarkable
results.
Whether you're a seasoned leader or juststarting a business, this podcast is your guide
to achieving your goal with simplicity andefficiency.
Let's embark on this journey together and makesuccess simple.
(01:29):
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to yet another episode of remarkablysimple I am Monique Fields, and I'm excited to
introduce you today to my guest, Karen Cooper.
She's a former corporate America employeeturned entrepreneur.
Karen is a trauma informed mindset coach.
(01:50):
She in she's incredibly passionate abouthelping entrepreneurs break free from crippling
imposter syndrome and self doubt.
Having been there herself, she knows howchallenging it is to be on the never ending
hamster wheel and not generating the resultsyou want.
Through her signature program, unscrewyourself, you will break free from the chains
(02:12):
of self doubt and self sabotage to reconnect toyour unique best.
Dare, I say badass as she did.
That's a quote, self Karen is also a mom of 2adult children.
She is unabashed in her love for disco andCourtney jokes.
Karen, thanks so much for being with me today.
(02:32):
Welcome to the show.
Thank you for having me.
It is such a pleasure to get to talk to you.
So for the sake of our audience, let's justcatch everybody up on your background and tell
us a little bit more detail about how you leftcorporate to become an entrepreneur who is
helping people unscrew themselves.
(02:55):
It was in a straight line.
I'll tell you that for sure.
Absolutely.
You know, I I, you know, I'm come from the U GoTo School.
You get a job.
And, you know, and that's what I did, and Iworked in the advertising industry.
For many, many years.
And, once I had my children, I was very much ondefense about being a working mom.
(03:15):
Long story short, I started to help him on thisjourney 9 years ago, through a company called
Isogenics, and I was doing that as a sidehustle.
For quite a number of years.
And then in the summer of 2019, I'd gotten afreelance position, at NBC, and that freelance
(03:38):
position went through March of 2020.
The project was dying in January of 2020.
So when the when we all know what happened inMarch of 2020, the pandemic hit.
So when I knew in January, my contract wasn'tgonna be extended, so the pandemic hit, NBC
kept me, so I decided not to pursue another jobopportunity and explore, you know, network
(03:59):
marketing on a full time basis.
While doing that, I came straight folk straightto me.
I was like, oh my god.
Wait a minute.
I have to be disciplined, and I have to dothings on my own, you know, when you're working
for corporate, you know, you, you know, youhave that mentality, the house of mentality,
and, you know, you have someone to answer to.
As the entrepreneur you have yourself.
(04:23):
So it was an interesting dichotomy for me, Andit soon became very abundantly clear that I was
standing in my own way, that I was not having aclue what I was doing, even though I had
systems in place, of which to tell me to do.
And so I saw it, and I knew I was the problem,by frankly.
And so I saw it help and help actually came inthe form of Tracy Lit, on an isogenics training
(04:46):
ball.
And so she's my mentor, so I was I'm a studentof the work that I teach.
I took her mindset courses, and that's how Iended up here.
Well, so I love the the vulnerability thatyou've opened this this call up with because
I've been there myself, and I think There arepeople in self leadership and perhaps formal
leadership positions all over the place whohave similar experience to what you describe.
(05:13):
At some point, you have to reckon with, is theproblem really outside of me, or am I the
problem?
And, it sounds like you just ownedresponsibility for that.
Was it an immediate shift, or did you gothrough some sort of process where, you know,
you had to come to terms with the fact that youreally needed to to work on you?
(05:34):
It's I don't it wasn't necessarily a process.
It was I had gotten to a rock bottom of sorts.
Mhmm.
So to speak.
Like, that's what it was.
Like, I just literally couldn't take any moreof doing what I was doing.
And I just knew.
And then it wasn't it was just like I sat and Ilooked, and I was like, you know what?
I had the systems in place.
Like, I had trainings that I had all of thatgiven to me.
(05:58):
So it wasn't like I needed to see that, and Iwasn't doing the work.
Mhmm.
You know what I mean?
So could I blame other people?
Yeah.
But, you know, being in personal development,part of what I was doing with that was already
in constant personal development, I understoodthat it wasn't outside.
(06:19):
Mhmm.
I I understood it wasn't exciting.
We understood that it was me.
So I had to face the fact that it was me andjust own up to the fact that it was me, and
understand that once I admitted that it was me,like, once you admit you have a problem, right?
Mhmm.
And then I could at least seek help and get andmove forward.
So what I love about what you just shared isthat I think that this is 1 of the simple
(06:40):
things that happens when an individual is justat the cusp of really bringing their work and
their, results to the next level.
And it's like having an enough is enoughmoment.
With yourself.
I've heard 1 leader that I deeply respect, youknow, just say at some point, it's like
realizing that you no longer want or choose tohold
(07:03):
on to the identity of your less successfulself.
And so
you just say I'm done.
I am done with this way, and I'm going to dowhatever it takes to own this other way.
So, the other thing that I think is soimportant in what you just shared is this sort
of shift from a focus like a victim.
(07:25):
And to your point, perhaps there people atfault or responsible outside of yourself, but
none of that blame would put you in a positionof control and empowerment for what it was that
you personally wanted to accomplish.
So you owed responsibility for your work anddecided you were gonna do it.
Would love for you to tell us a little bitabout what that work was.
(07:46):
What was the the work that you learned fromTracy Lit to, you know, make that mindset
shift?
Number 1 is to take radical personalresponsibility for your actions.
Number 2, I learned that I had limitingbeliefs.
That was the big thing.
You talked that you just mentioned identity.
(08:06):
That's really what it was.
My identity was tied to my living beliefs.
So I wasn't enough, and I wasn't worthy.
And so because I was feeling less than I wasthen producing less than.
Mhmm.
So what Tracy's work taught me and what I teachnow is the same thing.
Where did that come from?
(08:28):
So where did my naughty nuffness and notworthiness come from?
The root cause of that.
So we get down to the root cause of it.
We understand what had happened.
And it could be, you know, like, in my case, itwas my mom went back to work when I was 9.
I was a large key kid, and I felt likeabandoned.
And, like, you know what I mean?
And, like, other people are always better thanme kind of a thing.
So it wasn't like this big traumatic event, butit was still a trauma that I made a meaning out
(08:52):
of, and I decided that I was less than.
So we get to the root cause of it, and then weunderstand it.
And then we form new new beliefs, and weconnect to our bodies.
We do some inner child healing, and then mewire every program and become a new identity.
You're becoming your it's literally an identityevolution process, transformation.
(09:12):
So you become so I became a new version of me.
Yeah.
And I know that now having been in corporate,you work with people who still are in
corporate, and I'm imagining many of the verydriven goal oriented and focused people that
you're working with aren't exactly looking forinner child work and, you know, digging back
(09:36):
into the past.
So Talk to me about some of the things thatyour clients are struggling with when they come
to you.
And, you're able to kinda guide them throughthis process of shifting their their their
identity and their their mindset?
They're coming to me a lot of self-service.
The self doubt the self self, you know, I'm notenough.
(09:57):
I'm not worthy.
I think people are gonna find me out.
They're sabotaging themselves in the way ofprocrastination or being busy and, you know,
pretending to do work, but not really doingwork.
So that's how they're coming to me.
And they're just, like, I you know, similar towhat I was, they're just not they're just at a
point where, like, they can't keep going theway they're going.
They're frustrated.
(10:18):
And I hear what you mean now about the formerimage that you created about like a rock
bottom.
Perhaps they're, you know, fearing being calledout at work for not meeting, you know,
expectations or quotas, whatever is the case.
And so they're looking for perhaps somesolutions to try to uncover what really is
going on.
(10:38):
I have had the experience with some differentthings that where as I say it in the front of
my mind, I want something and I'm saying I wantthat something.
But when it comes down to really doing it, it'slike, where is this procrastination coming
from?
What is this avoidance?
And to your point, it's like, you know, there'ssomething there, but perhaps it's just not
(11:02):
really obvious, unless you get really good at,digging digging down through that.
So That makes me curious about what are thethings that you teach or show your clients to
do that help them get around some of thischallenge that they're having and start making
the, you know, the, not only the shifts, butstart to take the actions and, you know,
(11:25):
produce what they really want in their work.
A few a few number 1 with resistance.
So I actually did a post today about selfsabotage and what it was done and ways to do
with the waste to overcome it.
But, in terms of that, it was, you know,resistance and fear.
(11:46):
What happens is it resistance and is masslessfear.
So that'll show up when you move the needle insome way, shape, or form because our body isn't
designed in lines of designed to keep us safe.
So anytime you go left when you always wentright, it's like, thinks you're in danger.
So I take part of what I teach is, how toacknowledge the resistance and how to, be aware
(12:09):
be aware of it, acknowledge it, and then wemove past it by taking action.
So that's 1 way.
How to look at fear from a differentperspective?
We have 6 different ways to to shift yourperspective with fear, and 1 of them is dancing
with it, like, literally, like, or justwelcoming it, hey, fair, hair resistance.
What's going on?
Nice to see you.
I knew you I'm moving.
(12:29):
I'm doing something different.
Yay.
Come sit.
I'm okay.
It's safe.
Another big 1 is nervous system regulation.
Huge.
Is nervous system.
Right?
It's 1 of the first things we cover is nervoussystem regulation, and how do you regulate your
nervous system?
There's a million different ways that I teach.
My personal favorites are breath work, Google
(12:51):
breath work.
I do alternate natural
breathing, and dancing.
It it helps regulate your nervous system.
And also, how do you wanna feel?
So another thing I teach, and these are alldifferent modules, that I teach is is, is is,
how do you wanna feel on a daily basis?
(13:12):
Because a lot of a lot of personal developmentis, like, but it's not, like, inner.
So we connect to you.
Part of a lot of ways to connect to your bodybecause that's important because you have to
create safety, and that's doing the nervoussystem regulation, but it's also, you know, how
do you wanna feel on a daily basis?
Right?
I wanna feel abundant.
I wanna feel open it.
(13:33):
I wanna feel freedom because when you feelgood, you're vibing high, and then you're
generally create, you know, attract that way.
So those are a few of the things that I do.
Yeah.
So the first thing, just to kind of go dig backinto that that I love that you share is
something that I can remember, sharing in someteams that I led.
(13:55):
It's like expect the fear.
Right?
Know that it's coming.
Hold the hand of it.
Put it in your hand.
Fear is on this side.
Yep.
But perhaps that bravery is in the other hand,or that goal, that aspiration, your courage,
whatever is the other thing that you're drivingtoward, that you're carrying that with you.
And, I like that, you know, it's sort of likebeing kind to it and acknowledging this safety
(14:22):
that your, you know, your your brain and sortof your patterns who you have been to this
point maybe isn't a 100% on board with this newidentity that you're you're driving toward and
it would prefer What you call safe and I liketo think of as familiar.
Right?
Like, when we're trying to figure out, well, soI've set this goal and I've determined that I
(14:43):
wanna take this action, what's really holdingme back, And perhaps sometimes it's just really
healthy to stop for a second and acknowledgethat this is this is out of character.
We're doing something a little bit different,but it's okay.
I see you.
Right?
I see you, former self or, you know, howeveryou wanna frame that, giving it just enough
attention, and, creating a space for you toacknowledge that resistance that you you name.
(15:08):
What was that?
And I love that you teach people strategies tomove through that because it's 1 thing to
acknowledge that there's fear and resistance,but it's another thing to work through it.
And so encouraging people to practice thebreathing, and say that neurological system
(15:28):
regulation,
nervous nervous system regulation.
Nervous system regulation.
But this point about vibration, right, like,when you are in the state that you choose and
the 1, like, I don't know if people realizethis, but you can decide what state you want to
be in to create, what you want to create, anddo what you need to do to be in that state.
(15:49):
And if it's jumping jacks, then do the jumpingjacks.
If it's breathing, then do the breathing.
But I love that you're like guiding peoplethrough This awareness that you get to choose
how you want to feel.
You can't control what happens.
You can't control what's going on around you,but you absolutely can choose.
Your state of being.
I
think this is this is powerful.
(16:10):
So, that sounds fantastic.
And I wonder if you have any examples of eitheryour own personal transformation.
I know you stopped working in corporate, but itsounds like you have overcome the challenge of
really showing up leading yourself andaccomplishing what you intend for your work And
(16:32):
maybe you've worked with some clients where youcould just describe for us what their
transition look like after they learn some ofthese practices.
In my personal transformation?
Discipline.
Is a word that comes to mind.
Because,
1 of
the things I'm still working through is, youknow, not having an 8 hour a day, because
(16:55):
there's an entrepreneur you don't have to 8hour a day.
But also, is is is not doing and doing anddoing and doing and doing and doing and doing
is a little bit more being and, you know, beinga more relaxed state during during the day.
But discipline was a was a big 1 andresponsibility, and and intentionality of what
(17:15):
I'm doing and what I'm doing were my bigthings.
And also for me, my I'm a recoveringcodependent and police earning control break.
So when I was, you know, so that manifestedinto being afraid to take a day off, or being
afraid of how I'm gonna be found out, you know,it's a self doubt.
Like, I was talking to you talked aboutearlier.
(17:36):
So that manifested in that, you know, in myjob.
So having done the work now, I've been able toset boundaries.
I'm able to say no and have a meeting andcomplete sentence.
Those types of things are are huge.
And, you know, I have clients at the moment,where, their current reality isn't necessarily
(17:59):
so great financially, you know, and theirmindset is just and because they're
financially, you know, financially on sound,you know, it's this rabbit hole, so to speak,
of feeling that way.
And, you know, it's a becoming her process, theprocess.
So it's really visualizing your higher self andbeing in that higher self feeling, and and, you
(18:24):
know, what if it, you know, I have, you know,if it were already mine, what would I be
thinking and feeling?
And so, I also teach a perspective exerciseabout a glass elevator going up, and my client
the other day, said to me, you know, when Ichecked in on her, she's like, a specific
client.
She's number 1, we're halfway through, andshe's way better in the needle in terms of
(18:49):
feeling safe and nervousness to regulation andnot concentrating on our current reality, but
also I said, you know, how's it going?
You know, what's going on?
Do you need any help?
And she's like, you know, this is what's beengoing on in my life, but I've been dreaming the
glass elevator aside than what's been helpingme immensely.
So it's, you know, being able to use the toolsin the toolbox when life happens, and so know,
(19:11):
so I've had people like that where they're, youknow, tools my client this morning, I was,
like, also checking in.
And I was, like, she's like, I was angry.
I said, but you understood that you were angry.
The acknowledgement of actually knowing thatyou're feeling a certain way also.
You know what I'm saying?
And I was like, well, did this.
And she was like, no.
I didn't.
I was like, okay.
She was like, no.
That's great.
Thank you.
Because sometimes, you know, we forget in themoment what to do.
(19:33):
So these people are like, you know, are moreaware and able to then make when, you know, you
can make when you're not aware, you don't makechanges when you're aware.
You can't change if you don't know this.
So they're making changes and on their way tobecoming universal results.
Well, what I love about the examples that yougive is that you're working with people who are
(19:53):
currently in their same context.
So I'm going to just project a little bit here.
Perhaps the person who's in, a
tough situation financially is seekingemployment where she might, you
know, be better
compensated for the job that she does.
And right now, she's grappling with thosechallenges, but, the same thing about the
(20:15):
person who is in an environment perhaps whereMaybe they've got a tough dynamic with people
that they work with at work and they feeltriggered quite often because, there are lot of
people talking about toxic work cultures andthings.
And so, you've just given us 2 really greatexamples and a couple of strategies Now, you
didn't outline the glass elevator piece, but inthat first example, you gave a really simple
(20:40):
and applicable strategy that an individualwho's currently experiencing stress, like you
currently are having, challenges in your It'sreally easy to talk about all the growth and,
you know, progress you made after.
It's the going through part that I think can bereally discouraging when you're at the
beginning of a dark road.
And for everyone, it doesn't seem feasible toleave the work that they're doing.
(21:06):
And I love that you just highlights someimportant pieces that I think people should
rewind if they didn't grab those strategies andsome takeaways and find a practice in there.
That you could actually implement right nowand, see if that doesn't get you a little bit
more strength.
To kind of keep working through until you getto the next thing.
(21:27):
And if I may just add something else.
Sure.
Like, we tend to make meaning out of things.
Yes.
So nothing means anything until we make itmeans something.
Absolutely.
And I think, 1 of my favorite things to do.
It comes out in quite a lot of theseconversations when I'm talking with coaches
and, you know, people who are supporting otherpeople to do their work.
(21:48):
Very much the stories we tell ourselves is theway that I, you know, frame that that, my my
favorite question for this is what else couldbe true?
This is what I think.
This is the assumption I've made.
This is, you know, the belief that I hold.
But what else could be true?
And you just recently said that sometimes anindividual is right now.
(22:13):
Experience something different.
But you're encouraging them to look forward totheir higher self or their future self or
perhaps just the way that they want to show up.
Sometimes I ask people, how do you wish you hadresponded?
And what is it going to take for you to accessthat?
(22:33):
Right?
Like, to your point, we'll make a a connectionright here.
When you decide how you want to act, Then thebackward next thing that you can ask yourself
is, how do I need to feel to ask to act thatway?
Exactly.
And if I need to feel a certain thing to act inthe way that I really want to act so that I get
(22:54):
the results that I want, then what do I need tothink to feel that way.
And this is where we start to really, influencethe stories we tell ourselves because what we
think is optional.
We sometimes need to do work to realize that,but we get to choose what we think.
And I think as you referenced just a momentago, that this is the work that we do.
(23:16):
This is the work that we do because, you know,when we're in the middle of a stressful
situation, very often the first sort of kneejerk reaction and thought that we have seems
true.
It is not always easy to immediately shift thatto, a thought that perhaps would serve us
(23:37):
better, help us be more productive, you know,keep our focus from the parts of our situation
that we can't control and put our energy on,you know, things that we have an ability to
influence like our self and our actions.
But I think this is a very empowering state ofmind and practice I love, this exercise, and it
(23:59):
sounds like for individuals who want to do orperhaps are right at the edge of this
realization and awareness that there's they aresomewhat out of control and they wanna work on
their part.
That this would be really valuable learning.
So 1 of the questions that I have for you is ifpeople wanted to find you Ask you some
(24:21):
questions, reach out.
Where would you encourage them to go to findout, you know, and get connected with Karen
Cooper?
I'm on social, and all on all of my socialmedias is my calendar link.
So, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn.
I'm there.
I post.
I do dance parties on Fridays fun fact.
(24:43):
Fantastic.
So, so, you know, connect with me on socialmedia, and message me where you found me.
So this way, I know, you know, to because if Idon't know you, maybe I won't accept you, no
offense.
And and, you know, and then book a call withme.
You know, I tell people all the time, you know,book a it's free.
It's just a chat.
(25:03):
It's not a sales folder.
So, you know, if we work well together, ifyou're interested, we can, you know, then go
from there.
But, you know, that's where I live most of thetime is on my social list.
So I'm guessing on social, you're easy to find.
You're Karen.
Guys, she's Karen with ACCAREN, Karen Cooper.
Is that right?
Super easy to find.
So, here, let me just ask you this 1 question.
(25:26):
I love to ask people this as we get ready to,wrap up what I think has been a really great
and very applicable conversation.
What would you say is the 1 thing that youwould advise someone perhaps working in
corporate or experiencing overwhelm or selfsabotage or procrastination, just not getting
(25:49):
the results that they wanna see in their work.
What would you advise someone experiencing thatto do.
The 1 simple thing that they can do that willget them, just just a bit of relief or perhaps
more more of what it is that they wish washappening for them in their work.
Oh, it's the only 1.
I can only answer with 1.
(26:09):
1.
Oh my gosh.
Because they're only gonna do 1.
Right?
They're gonna try out the 1.
The first thing that came to mind, to be honestwith you Sure.
Love yourself and give yourself some grace.
Don't cheat yourself.
Don't be angry.
I'm not I can't be wrong to lose me.
I can't believe I'm doing this again.
You know, that type of thing.
We tend to get angry at ourselves for doing thesame thing or shaming, and I should be don't
(26:34):
should on yourself.
It's like, you know, in other way of saying it,I
love that phrase.
All of, you know, it's love yourself.
And I know in the moment it may it may not seemlike you can, but even if you just give you
yourself a hug, you know, give yourself great,and give me and pat yourself on the back for
noticing the fact that you're feeling the waythat you're feeling.
(26:55):
Because you're that's huge.
So honestly, when you're feeling that way, Iwould say just honestly give you self paced and
love yourself.
Just say, you know what?
It's okay.
I'm okay.
It's okay.
I love to make.
I love what you I love this.
I can think about so many conversations whereI'm starting a coaching relationship and I'm
(27:17):
setting ground rules.
And that is that we're going to becompassionate as we develop awareness.
Right.
1 of the favorite things that I like to talkwith people about and I I shouldn't say
favorite.
It's probably not a favorite, but it is reallyuseful to consider what happens when people are
criticized when they are put down when they areshamed, it usually is the opposite of what is
(27:42):
intended.
It it causes like a shutdown.
It it's it halts progress.
It does the opposite of what we think it would.
If if we're down on ourselves, you know, and wefeel regret about you know, perhaps choices
that we've made and we spend our time, as yousaid, should, shoulding all over ourselves.
(28:04):
It doesn't generally yield the result that allof a sudden we get more productive, more action
taking, and accomplish more.
So I think that this advice that you've givenabout being gracious, loving, and accepting to
ourselves where we see that we have room forgrowth is very important because that is
probably a better position than shamed, letdown, and disappointed in terms of being able
(28:27):
to move forward.
So I love that as a piece of very actionableadvice.
And then, you know, I'll just tag on here andperhaps follow Karen's example.
If you realize that you've got some struggles,then reach out for help because there are
literally, experts or people who've done just alittle more than you everywhere.
And, this just brought to mind while wesometimes are down on ourselves and thinking
(28:52):
that, other people are down on us.
We use what we think other people think of usas an excuse to criticize ourselves.
Right?
But I just heard something really great andvery uplifting from a very successful
individual, and it is this.
No 1 who is actually growing, improving, makinga positive contribution in the world, is ever
(29:17):
going to criticize you for trying to do thesame.
The people who are criticizing and, you know,cancelling and doing all the things that
they're doing to the people around the worldare very often.
The folks who aren't being productive andcontributing and positive and engaging in this
human imperfect work of growing.
(29:38):
So you know, I don't know if that's encouragingto someone, but love yourself is really, really
good advice and have grace for yourself isgreat advice too.
I really appreciate you having this quick chatwith me.
I think that we've, shared some veryinteresting tips that individuals in corporate
who might be experiencing challenges orwhatever work it is that they do in life, would
(30:04):
be able to apply and reach out to follow.
So, Karen, thank you so much for yourengagement during this chat and, for being on
the show with me today.
So much for having me.
This was amazing.
1.
Oh my gosh.
Because they're only gonna do 1.
Right?
They're gonna try out the 1.
The first thing that came to mind, to be honestwith you, you love yourself and give yourself
some grace.
Don't cheat yourself.
Don't be angry.
I might can't be wrong to lose me.
I can't believe I'm doing this again.
You know, that type of thing.
We tend to get angry at ourselves for doing thesame thing or shaming, and I should be don't
(00:24):
shit on yourself.
It's like, you know, in other way of sayingLike, I see
this blah
blah blah.
You know, it's love yourself.
And I know in the moment it may it may not seemlike you can, but even if you just give you
yourself a hug, you know, give yourself greats,and give me and pat yourself on the back for
noticing the fact that you're feeling the waythat you're healing.
(00:45):
Because you're that's huge.
So honestly, when you're feeling that way, Iwould say just honestly give you self paced and
love yourself.
Just say, you know what?
It's okay.
I'm okay.
Are you ready to unlock your full potential andachieve your personal, professional, and
financial goals?
Uply simple.
The podcast dedicated to helping you do justthat.
(01:07):
I'm Monique Fields, and I believe that with theright strategies anyone achieve remarkable
results.
Whether you're a seasoned leader or juststarting a business, this podcast is your guide
to achieving your goal with simplicity andefficiency.
Let's embark on this journey together and makesuccess simple.
(01:29):
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to yet another episode of remarkablysimple I am Monique Fields, and I'm excited to
introduce you today to my guest, Karen Cooper.
She's a former corporate America employeeturned entrepreneur.
Karen is a trauma informed mindset coach.
(01:50):
She in she's incredibly passionate abouthelping entrepreneurs break free from crippling
imposter syndrome and self doubt.
Having been there herself, she knows howchallenging it is to be on the never ending
hamster wheel and not generating the resultsyou want.
Through her signature program, unscrewyourself, you will break free from the chains
(02:12):
of self doubt and self sabotage to reconnect toyour unique best.
Dare, I say badass as she did.
That's a quote, self Karen is also a mom of 2adult children.
She is unabashed in her love for disco andCourtney jokes.
Karen, thanks so much for being with me today.
(02:32):
Welcome to the show.
Thank you for having me.
It is such a pleasure to get to talk to you.
So for the sake of our audience, let's justcatch everybody up on your background and tell
us a little bit more detail about how you leftcorporate to become an entrepreneur who is
helping people unscrew themselves.
(02:55):
It was in a straight line.
I'll tell you that for sure.
Absolutely.
You know, I I, you know, I'm come from the U GoTo School.
You get a job.
And, you know, and that's what I did, and Iworked in the advertising industry.
For many, many years.
And, once I had my children, I was very much ondefense about being a working mom.
(03:15):
Long story short, I started to help him on thisjourney 9 years ago, through a company called
Isogenics, and I was doing that as a sidehustle.
For quite a number of years.
And then in the summer of 2019, I'd gotten afreelance position, at NBC, and that freelance
(03:38):
position went through March of 2020.
The project was dying in January of 2020.
So when the when we all know what happened inMarch of 2020, the pandemic hit.
So when I knew in January, my contract wasn'tgonna be extended, so the pandemic hit, NBC
kept me, so I decided not to pursue another jobopportunity and explore, you know, network
(03:59):
marketing on a full time basis.
While doing that, I came straight folk straightto me.
I was like, oh my god.
Wait a minute.
I have to be disciplined, and I have to dothings on my own, you know, when you're working
for corporate, you know, you, you know, youhave that mentality, the house of mentality,
and, you know, you have someone to answer to.
As the entrepreneur you have yourself.
(04:23):
So it was an interesting dichotomy for me, Andit soon became very abundantly clear that I was
standing in my own way, that I was not having aclue what I was doing, even though I had
systems in place, of which to tell me to do.
And so I saw it, and I knew I was the problem,by frankly.
And so I saw it help and help actually came inthe form of Tracy Lit, on an isogenics training
(04:46):
ball.
And so she's my mentor, so I was I'm a studentof the work that I teach.
I took her mindset courses, and that's how Iended up here.
Well, so I love the the vulnerability thatyou've opened this this call up with because
I've been there myself, and I think There arepeople in self leadership and perhaps formal
leadership positions all over the place whohave similar experience to what you describe.
(05:13):
At some point, you have to reckon with, is theproblem really outside of me, or am I the
problem?
And, it sounds like you just ownedresponsibility for that.
Was it an immediate shift, or did you gothrough some sort of process where, you know,
you had to come to terms with the fact that youreally needed to to work on you?
(05:34):
It's I don't it wasn't necessarily a process.
It was I had gotten to a rock bottom of sorts.
Mhmm.
So to speak.
Like, that's what it was.
Like, I just literally couldn't take any moreof doing what I was doing.
And I just knew.
And then it wasn't it was just like I sat and Ilooked, and I was like, you know what?
I had the systems in place.
Like, I had trainings that I had all of thatgiven to me.
(05:58):
So it wasn't like I needed to see that, and Iwasn't doing the work.
Mhmm.
You know what I mean?
So could I blame other people?
Yeah.
But, you know, being in personal development,part of what I was doing with that was already
in constant personal development, I understoodthat it wasn't outside.
(06:19):
Mhmm.
I I understood it wasn't exciting.
We understood that it was me.
So I had to face the fact that it was me andjust own up to the fact that it was me, and
understand that once I admitted that it was me,like, once you admit you have a problem, right?
Mhmm.
And then I could at least seek help and get andmove forward.
So what I love about what you just shared isthat I think that this is 1 of the simple
(06:40):
things that happens when an individual is justat the cusp of really bringing their work and
their, results to the next level.
And it's like having an enough is enoughmoment.
With yourself.
I've heard 1 leader that I deeply respect, youknow, just say at some point, it's like
realizing that you no longer want or choose tohold
(07:03):
on to the identity of your less successfulself.
And so
you just say I'm done.
I am done with this way, and I'm going to dowhatever it takes to own this other way.
So, the other thing that I think is soimportant in what you just shared is this sort
of shift from a focus like a victim.
(07:25):
And to your point, perhaps there people atfault or responsible outside of yourself, but
none of that blame would put you in a positionof control and empowerment for what it was that
you personally wanted to accomplish.
So you owed responsibility for your work anddecided you were gonna do it.
Would love for you to tell us a little bitabout what that work was.
(07:46):
What was the the work that you learned fromTracy Lit to, you know, make that mindset
shift?
Number 1 is to take radical personalresponsibility for your actions.
Number 2, I learned that I had limitingbeliefs.
That was the big thing.
You talked that you just mentioned identity.
(08:06):
That's really what it was.
My identity was tied to my living beliefs.
So I wasn't enough, and I wasn't worthy.
And so because I was feeling less than I wasthen producing less than.
Mhmm.
So what Tracy's work taught me and what I teachnow is the same thing.
Where did that come from?
(08:28):
So where did my naughty nuffness and notworthiness come from?
The root cause of that.
So we get down to the root cause of it.
We understand what had happened.
And it could be, you know, like, in my case, itwas my mom went back to work when I was 9.
I was a large key kid, and I felt likeabandoned.
And, like, you know what I mean?
And, like, other people are always better thanme kind of a thing.
So it wasn't like this big traumatic event, butit was still a trauma that I made a meaning out
(08:52):
of, and I decided that I was less than.
So we get to the root cause of it, and then weunderstand it.
And then we form new new beliefs, and weconnect to our bodies.
We do some inner child healing, and then mewire every program and become a new identity.
You're becoming your it's literally an identityevolution process, transformation.
(09:12):
So you become so I became a new version of me.
Yeah.
And I know that now having been in corporate,you work with people who still are in
corporate, and I'm imagining many of the verydriven goal oriented and focused people that
you're working with aren't exactly looking forinner child work and, you know, digging back
(09:36):
into the past.
So Talk to me about some of the things thatyour clients are struggling with when they come
to you.
And, you're able to kinda guide them throughthis process of shifting their their their
identity and their their mindset?
They're coming to me a lot of self-service.
The self doubt the self self, you know, I'm notenough.
(09:57):
I'm not worthy.
I think people are gonna find me out.
They're sabotaging themselves in the way ofprocrastination or being busy and, you know,
pretending to do work, but not really doingwork.
So that's how they're coming to me.
And they're just, like, I you know, similar towhat I was, they're just not they're just at a
point where, like, they can't keep going theway they're going.
They're frustrated.
(10:18):
And I hear what you mean now about the formerimage that you created about like a rock
bottom.
Perhaps they're, you know, fearing being calledout at work for not meeting, you know,
expectations or quotas, whatever is the case.
And so they're looking for perhaps somesolutions to try to uncover what really is
going on.
(10:38):
I have had the experience with some differentthings that where as I say it in the front of
my mind, I want something and I'm saying I wantthat something.
But when it comes down to really doing it, it'slike, where is this procrastination coming
from?
What is this avoidance?
And to your point, it's like, you know, there'ssomething there, but perhaps it's just not
(11:02):
really obvious, unless you get really good at,digging digging down through that.
So That makes me curious about what are thethings that you teach or show your clients to
do that help them get around some of thischallenge that they're having and start making
the, you know, the, not only the shifts, butstart to take the actions and, you know,
(11:25):
produce what they really want in their work.
A few a few number 1 with resistance.
So I actually did a post today about selfsabotage and what it was done and ways to do
with the waste to overcome it.
But, in terms of that, it was, you know,resistance and fear.
(11:46):
What happens is it resistance and is masslessfear.
So that'll show up when you move the needle insome way, shape, or form because our body isn't
designed in lines of designed to keep us safe.
So anytime you go left when you always wentright, it's like, thinks you're in danger.
So I take part of what I teach is, how toacknowledge the resistance and how to, be aware
(12:09):
be aware of it, acknowledge it, and then wemove past it by taking action.
So that's 1 way.
How to look at fear from a differentperspective?
We have 6 different ways to to shift yourperspective with fear, and 1 of them is dancing
with it, like, literally, like, or justwelcoming it, hey, fair, hair resistance.
What's going on?
Nice to see you.
I knew you I'm moving.
(12:29):
I'm doing something different.
Yay.
Come sit.
I'm okay.
It's safe.
Another big 1 is nervous system regulation.
Huge.
Is nervous system.
Right?
It's 1 of the first things we cover is nervoussystem regulation, and how do you regulate your
nervous system?
There's a million different ways that I teach.
My personal favorites are breath work, Google
(12:51):
breath work.
I do alternate natural
breathing, and dancing.
It it helps regulate your nervous system.
And also, how do you wanna feel?
So another thing I teach, and these are alldifferent modules, that I teach is is, is is,
how do you wanna feel on a daily basis?
(13:12):
Because a lot of a lot of personal developmentis, like, but it's not, like, inner.
So we connect to you.
Part of a lot of ways to connect to your bodybecause that's important because you have to
create safety, and that's doing the nervoussystem regulation, but it's also, you know, how
do you wanna feel on a daily basis?
Right?
I wanna feel abundant.
I wanna feel open it.
(13:33):
I wanna feel freedom because when you feelgood, you're vibing high, and then you're
generally create, you know, attract that way.
So those are a few of the things that I do.
Yeah.
So the first thing, just to kind of go dig backinto that that I love that you share is
something that I can remember, sharing in someteams that I led.
(13:55):
It's like expect the fear.
Right?
Know that it's coming.
Hold the hand of it.
Put it in your hand.
Fear is on this side.
Yep.
But perhaps that bravery is in the other hand,or that goal, that aspiration, your courage,
whatever is the other thing that you're drivingtoward, that you're carrying that with you.
And, I like that, you know, it's sort of likebeing kind to it and acknowledging this safety
(14:22):
that your, you know, your your brain and sortof your patterns who you have been to this
point maybe isn't a 100% on board with this newidentity that you're you're driving toward and
it would prefer What you call safe and I liketo think of as familiar.
Right?
Like, when we're trying to figure out, well, soI've set this goal and I've determined that I
(14:43):
wanna take this action, what's really holdingme back, And perhaps sometimes it's just really
healthy to stop for a second and acknowledgethat this is this is out of character.
We're doing something a little bit different,but it's okay.
I see you.
Right?
I see you, former self or, you know, howeveryou wanna frame that, giving it just enough
attention, and, creating a space for you toacknowledge that resistance that you you name.
(15:08):
What was that?
And I love that you teach people strategies tomove through that because it's 1 thing to
acknowledge that there's fear and resistance,but it's another thing to work through it.
And so encouraging people to practice thebreathing, and say that neurological system
(15:28):
regulation,
nervous nervous system regulation.
Nervous system regulation.
But this point about vibration, right, like,when you are in the state that you choose and
the 1, like, I don't know if people realizethis, but you can decide what state you want to
be in to create, what you want to create, anddo what you need to do to be in that state.
(15:49):
And if it's jumping jacks, then do the jumpingjacks.
If it's breathing, then do the breathing.
But I love that you're like guiding peoplethrough This awareness that you get to choose
how you want to feel.
You can't control what happens.
You can't control what's going on around you,but you absolutely can choose.
Your state of being.
I
think this is this is powerful.
(16:10):
So, that sounds fantastic.
And I wonder if you have any examples of eitheryour own personal transformation.
I know you stopped working in corporate, but itsounds like you have overcome the challenge of
really showing up leading yourself andaccomplishing what you intend for your work And
(16:32):
maybe you've worked with some clients where youcould just describe for us what their
transition look like after they learn some ofthese practices.
In my personal transformation?
Discipline.
Is a word that comes to mind.
Because,
1 of
the things I'm still working through is, youknow, not having an 8 hour a day, because
(16:55):
there's an entrepreneur you don't have to 8hour a day.
But also, is is is not doing and doing anddoing and doing and doing and doing and doing
is a little bit more being and, you know, beinga more relaxed state during during the day.
But discipline was a was a big 1 andresponsibility, and and intentionality of what
(17:15):
I'm doing and what I'm doing were my bigthings.
And also for me, my I'm a recoveringcodependent and police earning control break.
So when I was, you know, so that manifestedinto being afraid to take a day off, or being
afraid of how I'm gonna be found out, you know,it's a self doubt.
Like, I was talking to you talked aboutearlier.
(17:36):
So that manifested in that, you know, in myjob.
So having done the work now, I've been able toset boundaries.
I'm able to say no and have a meeting andcomplete sentence.
Those types of things are are huge.
And, you know, I have clients at the moment,where, their current reality isn't necessarily
(17:59):
so great financially, you know, and theirmindset is just and because they're
financially, you know, financially on sound,you know, it's this rabbit hole, so to speak,
of feeling that way.
And, you know, it's a becoming her process, theprocess.
So it's really visualizing your higher self andbeing in that higher self feeling, and and, you
(18:24):
know, what if it, you know, I have, you know,if it were already mine, what would I be
thinking and feeling?
And so, I also teach a perspective exerciseabout a glass elevator going up, and my client
the other day, said to me, you know, when Ichecked in on her, she's like, a specific
client.
She's number 1, we're halfway through, andshe's way better in the needle in terms of
(18:49):
feeling safe and nervousness to regulation andnot concentrating on our current reality, but
also I said, you know, how's it going?
You know, what's going on?
Do you need any help?
And she's like, you know, this is what's beengoing on in my life, but I've been dreaming the
glass elevator aside than what's been helpingme immensely.
So it's, you know, being able to use the toolsin the toolbox when life happens, and so know,
(19:11):
so I've had people like that where they're, youknow, tools my client this morning, I was,
like, also checking in.
And I was, like, she's like, I was angry.
I said, but you understood that you were angry.
The acknowledgement of actually knowing thatyou're feeling a certain way also.
You know what I'm saying?
And I was like, well, did this.
And she was like, no.
I didn't.
I was like, okay.
She was like, no.
That's great.
Thank you.
Because sometimes, you know, we forget in themoment what to do.
(19:33):
So these people are like, you know, are moreaware and able to then make when, you know, you
can make when you're not aware, you don't makechanges when you're aware.
You can't change if you don't know this.
So they're making changes and on their way tobecoming universal results.
Well, what I love about the examples that yougive is that you're working with people who are
(19:53):
currently in their same context.
So I'm going to just project a little bit here.
Perhaps the person who's in, a
tough situation financially is seekingemployment where she might, you
know, be better
compensated for the job that she does.
And right now, she's grappling with thosechallenges, but, the same thing about the
(20:15):
person who is in an environment perhaps whereMaybe they've got a tough dynamic with people
that they work with at work and they feeltriggered quite often because, there are lot of
people talking about toxic work cultures andthings.
And so, you've just given us 2 really greatexamples and a couple of strategies Now, you
didn't outline the glass elevator piece, but inthat first example, you gave a really simple
(20:40):
and applicable strategy that an individualwho's currently experiencing stress, like you
currently are having, challenges in your It'sreally easy to talk about all the growth and,
you know, progress you made after.
It's the going through part that I think can bereally discouraging when you're at the
beginning of a dark road.
And for everyone, it doesn't seem feasible toleave the work that they're doing.
(21:06):
And I love that you just highlights someimportant pieces that I think people should
rewind if they didn't grab those strategies andsome takeaways and find a practice in there.
That you could actually implement right nowand, see if that doesn't get you a little bit
more strength.
To kind of keep working through until you getto the next thing.
(21:27):
And if I may just add something else.
Sure.
Like, we tend to make meaning out of things.
Yes.
So nothing means anything until we make itmeans something.
Absolutely.
And I think, 1 of my favorite things to do.
It comes out in quite a lot of theseconversations when I'm talking with coaches
and, you know, people who are supporting otherpeople to do their work.
(21:48):
Very much the stories we tell ourselves is theway that I, you know, frame that that, my my
favorite question for this is what else couldbe true?
This is what I think.
This is the assumption I've made.
This is, you know, the belief that I hold.
But what else could be true?
And you just recently said that sometimes anindividual is right now.
(22:13):
Experience something different.
But you're encouraging them to look forward totheir higher self or their future self or
perhaps just the way that they want to show up.
Sometimes I ask people, how do you wish you hadresponded?
And what is it going to take for you to accessthat?
(22:33):
Right?
Like, to your point, we'll make a a connectionright here.
When you decide how you want to act, Then thebackward next thing that you can ask yourself
is, how do I need to feel to ask to act thatway?
Exactly.
And if I need to feel a certain thing to act inthe way that I really want to act so that I get
(22:54):
the results that I want, then what do I need tothink to feel that way.
And this is where we start to really, influencethe stories we tell ourselves because what we
think is optional.
We sometimes need to do work to realize that,but we get to choose what we think.
And I think as you referenced just a momentago, that this is the work that we do.
(23:16):
This is the work that we do because, you know,when we're in the middle of a stressful
situation, very often the first sort of kneejerk reaction and thought that we have seems
true.
It is not always easy to immediately shift thatto, a thought that perhaps would serve us
(23:37):
better, help us be more productive, you know,keep our focus from the parts of our situation
that we can't control and put our energy on,you know, things that we have an ability to
influence like our self and our actions.
But I think this is a very empowering state ofmind and practice I love, this exercise, and it
(23:59):
sounds like for individuals who want to do orperhaps are right at the edge of this
realization and awareness that there's they aresomewhat out of control and they wanna work on
their part.
That this would be really valuable learning.
So 1 of the questions that I have for you is ifpeople wanted to find you Ask you some
(24:21):
questions, reach out.
Where would you encourage them to go to findout, you know, and get connected with Karen
Cooper?
I'm on social, and all on all of my socialmedias is my calendar link.
So, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn.
I'm there.
I post.
I do dance parties on Fridays fun fact.
(24:43):
Fantastic.
So, so, you know, connect with me on socialmedia, and message me where you found me.
So this way, I know, you know, to because if Idon't know you, maybe I won't accept you, no
offense.
And and, you know, and then book a call withme.
You know, I tell people all the time, you know,book a it's free.
It's just a chat.
(25:03):
It's not a sales folder.
So, you know, if we work well together, ifyou're interested, we can, you know, then go
from there.
But, you know, that's where I live most of thetime is on my social list.
So I'm guessing on social, you're easy to find.
You're Karen.
Guys, she's Karen with ACCAREN, Karen Cooper.
Is that right?
Super easy to find.
So, here, let me just ask you this 1 question.
(25:26):
I love to ask people this as we get ready to,wrap up what I think has been a really great
and very applicable conversation.
What would you say is the 1 thing that youwould advise someone perhaps working in
corporate or experiencing overwhelm or selfsabotage or procrastination, just not getting
(25:49):
the results that they wanna see in their work.
What would you advise someone experiencing thatto do.
The 1 simple thing that they can do that willget them, just just a bit of relief or perhaps
more more of what it is that they wish washappening for them in their work.
Oh, it's the only 1.
I can only answer with 1.
(26:09):
1.
Oh my gosh.
Because they're only gonna do 1.
Right?
They're gonna try out the 1.
The first thing that came to mind, to be honestwith you Sure.
Love yourself and give yourself some grace.
Don't cheat yourself.
Don't be angry.
I'm not I can't be wrong to lose me.
I can't believe I'm doing this again.
You know, that type of thing.
We tend to get angry at ourselves for doing thesame thing or shaming, and I should be don't
(26:34):
should on yourself.
It's like, you know, in other way of saying it,I
love that phrase.
All of, you know, it's love yourself.
And I know in the moment it may it may not seemlike you can, but even if you just give you
yourself a hug, you know, give yourself great,and give me and pat yourself on the back for
noticing the fact that you're feeling the waythat you're feeling.
(26:55):
Because you're that's huge.
So honestly, when you're feeling that way, Iwould say just honestly give you self paced and
love yourself.
Just say, you know what?
It's okay.
I'm okay.
It's okay.
I love to make.
I love what you I love this.
I can think about so many conversations whereI'm starting a coaching relationship and I'm
(27:17):
setting ground rules.
And that is that we're going to becompassionate as we develop awareness.
Right.
1 of the favorite things that I like to talkwith people about and I I shouldn't say
favorite.
It's probably not a favorite, but it is reallyuseful to consider what happens when people are
criticized when they are put down when they areshamed, it usually is the opposite of what is
(27:42):
intended.
It it causes like a shutdown.
It it's it halts progress.
It does the opposite of what we think it would.
If if we're down on ourselves, you know, and wefeel regret about you know, perhaps choices
that we've made and we spend our time, as yousaid, should, shoulding all over ourselves.
(28:04):
It doesn't generally yield the result that allof a sudden we get more productive, more action
taking, and accomplish more.
So I think that this advice that you've givenabout being gracious, loving, and accepting to
ourselves where we see that we have room forgrowth is very important because that is
probably a better position than shamed, letdown, and disappointed in terms of being able
(28:27):
to move forward.
So I love that as a piece of very actionableadvice.
And then, you know, I'll just tag on here andperhaps follow Karen's example.
If you realize that you've got some struggles,then reach out for help because there are
literally, experts or people who've done just alittle more than you everywhere.
And, this just brought to mind while wesometimes are down on ourselves and thinking
(28:52):
that, other people are down on us.
We use what we think other people think of usas an excuse to criticize ourselves.
Right?
But I just heard something really great andvery uplifting from a very successful
individual, and it is this.
No 1 who is actually growing, improving, makinga positive contribution in the world, is ever
(29:17):
going to criticize you for trying to do thesame.
The people who are criticizing and, you know,cancelling and doing all the things that
they're doing to the people around the worldare very often.
The folks who aren't being productive andcontributing and positive and engaging in this
human imperfect work of growing.
(29:38):
So you know, I don't know if that's encouragingto someone, but love yourself is really, really
good advice and have grace for yourself isgreat advice too.
I really appreciate you having this quick chatwith me.
I think that we've, shared some veryinteresting tips that individuals in corporate
who might be experiencing challenges orwhatever work it is that they do in life, would
(30:04):
be able to apply and reach out to follow.
So, Karen, thank you so much for yourengagement during this chat and, for being on
the show with me today.
So much for having me.
This was amazing.
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