May 29, 2024 • 28 mins
In this episode, Moneke Fields talks with Blanka Falk about balancing motherhood with a career. They discuss teaching methods for new moms, the importance of gratitude, and reconnecting with one's inner self. They also explore the role of intentionality in motherhood, the power of intuition, and maintaining self-care amidst challenges.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Are you ready to unlock your full Markablysimple.
The podcast dedicated to helping you do justthat.
I'm Monique Fields, and I believe that with theright strategies, anyone can achieve remarkable
results.
Whether you're a seasoned leader or juststarting a business.
(00:20):
This podcast is your guide to achieving yourgoals with and efficiency.
Let's embark on this journey together and makesuccess.
Hello, everyone.
It's Monique Fields here again.
And I would like to welcome you back to Thisepisode of remarkably simple and introduced to
(00:43):
you our latest guest, Blanca Folic, who is theauthor of help.
I've become a mother, which is available onAmazon.
She is a mental trainer for mothers.
And, we're gonna have a great conversation withher today.
So hi, Blanca.
Welcome.
Hello.
(01:03):
Thank you for inviting me on your podcast.
I'm so happy to be here, and welcome everyonewho's listening.
So Great to be with you, Monique.
Yeah.
So to get our conversation started, I wouldlove for you to share with us.
I've just let everybody know about the bookthat you've written and very briefly mentioned
the type of work that you do.
(01:25):
But, I'm curious about your background thatbrought you to the place that now you are
helping people with their mindset and, youknow, personal insights.
Tell us a little bit about how you got to behere.
Yes.
Right.
Well, I'm a mother of 4 children.
They are now between nine and eighteen yearsold, so I went with them through all
(01:49):
situations.
And actually, I tried a lot in the beginning.
And just to figure out which is the best way togo for me and with them because each child is
different, and, I always try to keep themindividual.
So I've tried different things with one baby.
(02:10):
It was okay to carry all the time.
Another baby didn't want it.
So this is just a short example.
There are so many other situations that I justexperienced, and I thought it's a great way to
actually give this to young mothers or womenwho are pregnant and, to teach them the inner
(02:33):
being because if you give birth to a child,physically you become a mother, but from the
inside, you have to develop And there are somany women who are just feeling overwhelmed
with their first baby because they didn'texpect the inner development which just shows
up and you can't stop it, you can't say, okay.
(02:55):
I haven't known this.
Please get the baby back.
So we have to go through this, and I know thatthere are so many struggles in this in these
times.
Yes, and I just like to give them a helpinghand to go through this.
To place their thoughts in the right positionand to really guide them from the inner being.
(03:15):
So it sounds like your own experience ofwalking through this journey of raising your
children And all of the the varieties of, youknow, personalities and preferences that they
have has brought you this sensitivity tosupport people who feel perhaps overwhelmed or
(03:35):
unsure about their choices and what they'redoing as parents when they are having their
first children.
I think that's so fascinating.
And it makes me think about my own experiencefor sure.
I can relate to what you just referenced aboutthe inner work that we need to do to develop
when we are feeling overwhelmed with all ofthese new external responsibilities, these
(03:59):
physical things that we have.
So I love that perspective.
I wonder if you could relate any instance ofchallenge or setback that, prompted you to,
learn the strategies that you ultimately weresuccessful within your parenting and that you
each other people.
I imagine you look at them now as more likestepping stoned or, you know, points of
(04:23):
personal growth.
So What favorite example do you have about thischallenge for an opportunity?
It the first one is really that I had to let mycareer go.
And this was one of the biggest challenges forme to say, okay, I was a tax consultant.
(04:43):
So and I thought I can work remote.
I can work at home whilst having my baby andeverything is fine.
But I was thrown into life that this is not myway.
I always got an inflammation as soon as I wasthinking about my profession.
First, I didn't I didn't relate to this.
(05:03):
I thought, okay, I got an inflammation.
It happens.
But I didn't realize that there is a connectionbetween my thoughts thinking about my
profession and going into education andattending seminars or anything like this just
to keep up to date with a loss that always comeup.
And, I thought, okay.
(05:24):
It doesn't have to do anything with each other,but then my husband actually said, have you
have you noticed this?
Always, if you try to go back, you always gotan inflammation and it gets it really became
worse.
And then I thought, okay.
How can I how can I solve this?
And the only way I was, of course, you can onlymake this together.
(05:48):
It's a decision that you have to make, but youhave to be in a team, you know, with your
husband or your partner or so that you reallyagree with those with this situation to say,
okay, stay at home.
I will go for work.
I will bring the money in, and you just stay athome with a baby.
(06:09):
And It was a challenge, really, because thereis always coming this, but I wanted to I had so
many exams done and put so much effort to cometo this point and now I shouldn't I shouldn't
work anymore This was really, but, you know, Icouldn't help.
(06:31):
It was my body was telling me different, so Ihad to let go.
And this was the first real big challenge thatI had, but I made it.
And, actually, to be committed as a mother, Ithought I would lose something, but actually I
gained so much more.
I wouldn't have this if I was just in my jobbecause the development of my person is so huge
(07:00):
that I thought, well, I would have missed if Iwas just keeping my job and doing nothing else.
So This is just, I think, before testing.
This is such a relatable example.
I'm thinking again about so many of us who haveprofessional aspirations and visions of
(07:21):
changing the world with our work or making animpact, very often feeling at first, like, we
can do it all and, you know, conquer all of thechallenges out there.
And some of us find a way to do that, but Ithink In the example that you share, your body
was telling you this is not your path and thatyou needed to relax and let go to trust that it
(07:44):
was going to be okay.
I've experienced this interestingly enoughtoward the end of my career after 24 years of
education, and starting to notice the lack ofquality time that I was having with my children
in, I guess, all of the years are criticalyears.
But as they started heading into their teenyears, I didn't want to be surrendering their
(08:06):
development to the internet, babysitters, orwhomever it would be that was looking after
them after I was working with, you know, such afury pace.
So I can relate directly to what it means tolisten to those messages either whether they're
coming from your family or from your body.
To make good decisions for yourself.
(08:26):
I think that's so ultimately empowering.
I don't know if you agree when you're able todo that release and letting go and accepting
that this was the right thing for you to do.
I mean, how did you feel after that, or how didthings change?
Yes, really.
It was a release.
Well, for me, it was a release, but I can tellyou my environment couldn't couldn't relate to
(08:49):
this.
They were telling, hey.
Why are you staying at home?
Why don't why don't you go back?
Why don't you you can do just a little.
And when I told them, no, actually, I can't.
Perhaps there are women outside who can, butit's not my way So and just looking backwards
because in this situation, you don't know whereyour path is leading you.
(09:12):
But looking backwards, now I can tell you,okay.
I had to do this because I had to go throughthese experiences in a different way so that
I'm now able to to teach others to guide themand to be there because if I hadn't done hadn't
done this in full, there was would be alwayssomething missing.
(09:34):
And so, yes, it was actually not a struggle forme in the inside, but to really to to know
where I'm at and in which position andsituation I'm at and really to let everyone
outside and not to you know, I haven't I Idon't regret anything.
(09:57):
So people can't understand this here, but Idon't care about this, actually.
So I'm strong enough to say, okay, it's yours.
It's not my life.
I think this is a beautiful example of thedevelopment that you're talking about that
really is an example of, inner work.
Because it takes a tremendous amount ofpersonal fortitude, self validation, strength,
(10:21):
to be able to make the decision that is rightfor you, And as you said, very respectfully,
including your partner with your family's bestinterests in mind, but blocking out the opinion
and the perspective of other people.
In the way that they are living their life andthey're sort of projecting on you what what is
best for yours.
And I love that to your point about when youfirst have the child, you don't necessarily
(10:46):
anticipate all of the decisions and, you know,crossroads that you're going to come to in your
own personal development and as a parent.
You don't see it all, but you reference one ofmy favorite, quotes about and I just has
mentioned this in another conversation.
It's funny with a different individual.
(11:07):
Steve Jobs is attributed to saying, that youcan only connect the the dots looking backward.
Right?
Once you have arrived at the place, to yourpoint, you don't know where the path is leading
you, but you're trusting and you're movingforward.
And when you get to whatever place it is thatyou're in the future and you look back, it
makes sense.
The things are lined up.
And so now you're in this beautiful place.
(11:28):
Where you are helping other people at thebeginning of their journey of becoming a mother
and doing this inner development And thatbrings me to ask the question.
What is it that you teach them to do?
What do you help them learn?
Yes.
Firstly, if you give birth to a child, birth toa baby, you really feel exhausted.
(11:53):
So you have to raise your energy, actually, toraise it so that you can it's always a self
care too because it's not only the projectionon the baby, which is important, no way to ask,
but always keep yourself in mind that you caneat and drinking up, drinking is so important.
(12:18):
And I can remember I was drinking.
I think 3 or 4 liters a day, but I wasbreastfeeding.
This was my passion.
And,
they always told me, hey, don't forget thewater.
So if you breastfeed, just place a water bottlejust next to you that after breastfeeding, you
just drink 2.
And, just there are so many little steps thatyou can take to raise your energy really to to
(12:47):
give your time give yourself time to sleep.
So there is another trick to say sleep if thebaby sleeps.
So you will never get a lack of sleep, but weare always so focused on our rhythm.
We have to wake up at 7 o'clock or whatever andgo to bed at 10 o'clock or whatever.
(13:10):
And, oh, the baby doesn't fit into this.
No.
So you have to, yes, you have to adjust yourrhythm to the baby.
But actually, you will you won't lose anythingbecause what gain is really the strength, the
the strength, and the the bonding process withyour baby, and it's It's always connected like
(13:34):
a team.
It goes it gives you something, and you you canget something, and you can give something.
And this is always in a flow.
And if you can accept this, it would just bringyou the energy, and you will be grateful for
everything.
I I like to tell everyone be grateful for whatyou have, and sometimes you forget to to say
(13:57):
thank you, but it's a nice way just in themorning or if you just start feeding your baby
to look at your baby and be grateful.
Because this is so this is so precious to tobring this soul on earth.
So And it's only having a baby.
(14:18):
You know?
Yes.
There's so much more insight.
You know, the principle or the premise of thisshow is that six is remarkably simple.
And it's not easy work to change your rhythm,to accept a new process, to not be in control,
So to speak, but to go with the flow, the newone that's being created between you and the
(14:38):
baby, but I think this is another example ofthe development, and I love what you advise
about being sure that your frequency is high,that you're energized and hydrated, well
rested, and this transcendent principle ofgratitude.
This is applicable for new mothers.
It's individuals who are stepping into newroles so many people can benefit from the
(15:01):
practice of opening your eyes.
And it doesn't need to be anything fabulous,but what do you see What is present with you
that you are grateful for?
It is such an amazing energy booster andelevator.
So I love that you share that as one of theprinciples that you teach new or soon to be
moms because I can imagine that's just, a veryempowering way to go through the journey of
(15:27):
motherhood, especially in the sometimeschallenging early years.
Yeah.
That's really fantastic.
So you work with a lot of people who are new intheir journey or early some frustration, but I
wonder what are some challenges that you seecommon challenges that new mothers or early
(15:49):
parenting mothers are experiencing.
And, how do you help them get on the righttrack?
Perhaps especially the individuals who didn'tget to start adopting these mindsets before the
baby came so that maybe they felt prepared.
How do you help, or what do you tell people todo to navigate some of the challenges?
As I think one of the biggest challenges isreally that we that our new I would call this
(16:13):
the new society, the upcoming mothers, theyoung mothers, who are, I would say, are kind
of disconnected to nature because of ourinformation area, information time, everyone is
gathering from the outside and is not listeningto the inside anymore, but given giving birth
(16:37):
to a child as an inside job too.
So you have to Fields your and your Fields,actually.
What do you want in this situation?
So it's important, really, to come back toyourself and to practice some time just to to
be with yourself.
And even if it's just 10 minutes a day, you canstart with this.
(17:01):
It's totally okay, but start to be quiet, startto to look inside of you, what's coming up,
what emotions come up, perhaps you are you youare not patient to to become for 10 minutes.
So if you can't do this, go back to 5 minutes.
(17:21):
But at least take a time to start so that youcan get in contact with yourself again.
It's nature.
It's nothing new, you know, and you can't readit well.
You can read it in books, but actually, this isthe point you really have to practice Exactly.
You have to do it.
So it's nice that you have read this in a bookand you know it, but it doesn't help you.
(17:46):
So really, take the time, take your timer, andput it on 5 minutes, and just do it.
I love this encouraging people to slow down andMaybe you think about it like the control on a
valve to just slow the input a little bit,right, so that they have a better space and
(18:09):
opportunity to connect with and feelthemselves.
I, very often work with clients and encouragethem the same practice that I do which is
taking time to be aware.
Like you said, what's coming up?
What's coming up for you?
Instead of functioning all the time onautopilot, We look up and we don't know how we
got home or when we did this or that, but to bepresent with yourself so that you're aware of
(18:33):
what you're thinking, I think, just gives yousuch a beautiful position so that you're not at
the effect of everything that's going on andmuch more intentional.
I also heard you say that you like to encouragepeople to to think about how do they want to
be.
Right?
Like, what do you if if you slept, if you stopthe flow on that valve just a little bit, It's
(18:54):
a lot easier to maintain who you are and whatyou want because you're spending intentional
time every day, connecting or at least thinkingabout How do I want to be as a mother?
How do I I value this time with my child andthe, you know, habits and practices that I'm
now developing?
And, man, this gives me so many beautifulmemories of what I don't believe I necessarily
(19:18):
had taught wisdom for when I was a young motherand my children were just born.
But so much of what you say about just creatingthis space to slow down, so much wisdom came
from my intuition.
You know, perhaps it was inherited or somethingthat I observed from, you know, my younger
years seeing children cared for.
(19:39):
When I look back at things that I did, I havevery few regrets about the choices that I made
as a mother because my children and I were thecenter of those decisions.
And we had the very connected experience.
When you talked about breastfeeding, that wassomething that was so important to me.
And I am so grateful for it, right, that it wasa beautiful time of connection, but also
(20:05):
nourishment, so many different elements there.
And so I think that's just such beautifuladvice to help individuals navigate these
decisions about what they're gonna prioritize.
And do in their early parenting days.
So thank you for that suggestion.
I think that this conversation is so rich andinteresting, and clearly we could go on and on.
(20:25):
I have a few other questions for you.
But before we get carried away and forget, Iwould love to share with people.
Where they could find you to learn more aboutthe teaching that you do and ways that you can
help new or young mothers in their, theirjourney.
Yeah.
Okay.
You can find me in on, yeah, a few social mediaplatforms like LinkedIn, there it is my full
(20:50):
name Blanca side, and you can find me on theInstagram.
It's a little difficult because it's a Germanaccount, so it's the name of my book.
That's the German title.
Have I become a mother?
And, on Facebook, you can also find me withBlanca Filed, with my full May.
(21:11):
So, yeah, and, I think that's
We will make sure that everyone is able toclick those links easily attached to this post,
and that'll help them with the German title.
But you and I discussed that your book is alsoavailable on Amazon and English.
That's correct.
No.
Not not in English so far.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Yeah.
(21:31):
I think it's it obviously is a topic that Ithink would be beneficial widely, but I love
that members of the German community are havingan opportunity to experience this now.
And you've demonstrated that you have atremendous wealth of wisdom and ability to help
people in English So I hope that they will lookyou up and follow to learn more.
So thinking about this topic of motherhood andthe journey of, you know, who we just being the
(21:55):
most intentional and impactful mothers that wedesire to be.
What's one thing that you believe all motherscan do?
That makes everything else about this job ofmotherhood either easier or really not
necessary to be stressed or worried about inyour experience.
Yes.
My experience is really follow your intuition.
(22:17):
It's it's so easy to say and so hard to dobecause again, a lot of people just are
disconnected from their being, but this is soWe are given this, actually.
So everyone has it, and especially mothersbecause they prepared to give birth.
(22:44):
So they have got everything.
I don't have to to buy anything or learnanything or just to to get into your own
intuition because each way is different, and weare all individuals.
So what might be good for me might not be goodfor you.
You have to figure this out with yourintuition.
(23:04):
How what does what feels good for you?
And, it's, again, it's easy to say, but I knowthat There might be mothers who say, oh, I have
no problem with my intuition.
That's wonderful.
I say, go.
But there might be others who say, Oh, I don'tknow.
(23:27):
I have to learn first.
No.
Don't learn with your head.
Don't learn with your brain, but learn withyour heart.
So that's the point to really get connectedwith your heart.
Yeah.
I'm glad you mentioned that about the thepeople who might feel that they struggle with
being in touch with their intuition.
And I think earlier, you mentioned howimportant it is for mothers to have practices
(23:50):
like drinking regular, you know, amounts ofwater and making sure that they're well
nourished.
I think it definitely goes without saying thatwe can get out of touch and detached from
ourselves and from from god, our source, thatit's so important to make sure that you are in
your best state really taking care of yourself.
(24:12):
And I think this refers back to what you saidabout the inner work that we each get to do
which is what allows us to be connected withour intuition and, really making all of our
decisions and living our life from the bestpossible place.
Do you have a favorite story or personalexperience about a shift or transformation that
(24:35):
you have seen happen with a mother who is youknow, embarking on this journey perhaps with
all of the expectation and distraction that wehave, but finding that place of calm so that
she could really be the strong mother that shedesires to be.
Well, yes.
There is a one.
There's one who comes in my mind.
(24:56):
She was not a young well, she her her youngestgirl was one year old, and I think she had 2
boys also.
They were older.
Mhmm.
And, she was, yes, she was leaving her husband,which which was just a toxic relationship, and
she was struggling so hard in this situationand thought she couldn't get out of this.
(25:19):
And almost felt a little depressed, butactually with encouraging to get into her
power, really, that she's able to go throughthis.
And it doesn't help if you are in arelationship that's toxic.
So actually you get the power back.
(25:43):
And you just have to become aware of what iswhat are you capable of now?
And, she was so glad, so happy after this.
And she said, oh, I have my dream job now, andI can Actually, she was a teacher and she said,
(26:03):
oh, I I had got a mission here.
She she came from Kenya.
And, I like to empower other women here and,just to, yes, to take their education and to
build them up into the computers andeverything.
So digital world for the woman there who liverural, and she got wonderful job.
(26:30):
And she said, I'm so glad that I didn't losemyself in this situation, actually, to fall
down and not knowing what to do now and justfeeling alone and, carried those 3 children.
Well, actually, it's so sad, but the the oldestboy was thinking I had to save my mom now
(26:53):
because she's in a struggle.
So he felt that he should protector, but he isa boy.
So this is so I think this was such a bigshift, and he was so happy of this when he saw
his his mother just raising.
So this was so
(27:14):
I love this.
You talked about, you know, being able to lookat the circumstances around you, I get so much
out of the example that you just Number 1, thatperhaps it's never too late.
Whether your child is unborn, just born 1 year,early elementary, whatever, that you always
(27:35):
have the space to to borrow your words, getyour power back, right?
And to thrive from that position.
And I love the way you framed the story at theend that she was rising.
So beautiful.
And I think this is absolutely what we wish foreveryone around us.
It's the reason for this podcast, just that wegive people just enough to help them elevate
(27:58):
the position that they're in and experiencesomething new from that vantage point.
They can look around and decide what's So Ireally appreciate you creating this space for
us to do just that, to share a little bit ofinformation that individuals could take and try
and absolutely follow and connect with you tolearn more.
So thank you so much for being on remarkablysimple today, Blanca.
(28:21):
It has been a pleasure.
Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure for me to be here with you andto be invited and to share a little of my
stories.
Thank you.
Alright.
So until we get to connect again next time.
Are you ready to unlock your full Markablysimple.
The podcast dedicated to helping you do justthat.
I'm Monique Fields, and I believe that with theright strategies, anyone can achieve remarkable
results.
Whether you're a seasoned leader or juststarting a business.
(00:20):
This podcast is your guide to achieving yourgoals with and efficiency.
Let's embark on this journey together and makesuccess.
Hello, everyone.
It's Monique Fields here again.
And I would like to welcome you back to Thisepisode of remarkably simple and introduced to
(00:43):
you our latest guest, Blanca Folic, who is theauthor of help.
I've become a mother, which is available onAmazon.
She is a mental trainer for mothers.
And, we're gonna have a great conversation withher today.
So hi, Blanca.
Welcome.
Hello.
(01:03):
Thank you for inviting me on your podcast.
I'm so happy to be here, and welcome everyonewho's listening.
So Great to be with you, Monique.
Yeah.
So to get our conversation started, I wouldlove for you to share with us.
I've just let everybody know about the bookthat you've written and very briefly mentioned
the type of work that you do.
(01:25):
But, I'm curious about your background thatbrought you to the place that now you are
helping people with their mindset and, youknow, personal insights.
Tell us a little bit about how you got to behere.
Yes.
Right.
Well, I'm a mother of 4 children.
They are now between nine and eighteen yearsold, so I went with them through all
(01:49):
situations.
And actually, I tried a lot in the beginning.
And just to figure out which is the best way togo for me and with them because each child is
different, and, I always try to keep themindividual.
So I've tried different things with one baby.
(02:10):
It was okay to carry all the time.
Another baby didn't want it.
So this is just a short example.
There are so many other situations that I justexperienced, and I thought it's a great way to
actually give this to young mothers or womenwho are pregnant and, to teach them the inner
(02:33):
being because if you give birth to a child,physically you become a mother, but from the
inside, you have to develop And there are somany women who are just feeling overwhelmed
with their first baby because they didn'texpect the inner development which just shows
up and you can't stop it, you can't say, okay.
(02:55):
I haven't known this.
Please get the baby back.
So we have to go through this, and I know thatthere are so many struggles in this in these
times.
Yes, and I just like to give them a helpinghand to go through this.
To place their thoughts in the right positionand to really guide them from the inner being.
(03:15):
So it sounds like your own experience ofwalking through this journey of raising your
children And all of the the varieties of, youknow, personalities and preferences that they
have has brought you this sensitivity tosupport people who feel perhaps overwhelmed or
(03:35):
unsure about their choices and what they'redoing as parents when they are having their
first children.
I think that's so fascinating.
And it makes me think about my own experiencefor sure.
I can relate to what you just referenced aboutthe inner work that we need to do to develop
when we are feeling overwhelmed with all ofthese new external responsibilities, these
(03:59):
physical things that we have.
So I love that perspective.
I wonder if you could relate any instance ofchallenge or setback that, prompted you to,
learn the strategies that you ultimately weresuccessful within your parenting and that you
each other people.
I imagine you look at them now as more likestepping stoned or, you know, points of
(04:23):
personal growth.
So What favorite example do you have about thischallenge for an opportunity?
It the first one is really that I had to let mycareer go.
And this was one of the biggest challenges forme to say, okay, I was a tax consultant.
(04:43):
So and I thought I can work remote.
I can work at home whilst having my baby andeverything is fine.
But I was thrown into life that this is not myway.
I always got an inflammation as soon as I wasthinking about my profession.
First, I didn't I didn't relate to this.
(05:03):
I thought, okay, I got an inflammation.
It happens.
But I didn't realize that there is a connectionbetween my thoughts thinking about my
profession and going into education andattending seminars or anything like this just
to keep up to date with a loss that always comeup.
And, I thought, okay.
(05:24):
It doesn't have to do anything with each other,but then my husband actually said, have you
have you noticed this?
Always, if you try to go back, you always gotan inflammation and it gets it really became
worse.
And then I thought, okay.
How can I how can I solve this?
And the only way I was, of course, you can onlymake this together.
(05:48):
It's a decision that you have to make, but youhave to be in a team, you know, with your
husband or your partner or so that you reallyagree with those with this situation to say,
okay, stay at home.
I will go for work.
I will bring the money in, and you just stay athome with a baby.
(06:09):
And It was a challenge, really, because thereis always coming this, but I wanted to I had so
many exams done and put so much effort to cometo this point and now I shouldn't I shouldn't
work anymore This was really, but, you know, Icouldn't help.
(06:31):
It was my body was telling me different, so Ihad to let go.
And this was the first real big challenge thatI had, but I made it.
And, actually, to be committed as a mother, Ithought I would lose something, but actually I
gained so much more.
I wouldn't have this if I was just in my jobbecause the development of my person is so huge
(07:00):
that I thought, well, I would have missed if Iwas just keeping my job and doing nothing else.
So This is just, I think, before testing.
This is such a relatable example.
I'm thinking again about so many of us who haveprofessional aspirations and visions of
(07:21):
changing the world with our work or making animpact, very often feeling at first, like, we
can do it all and, you know, conquer all of thechallenges out there.
And some of us find a way to do that, but Ithink In the example that you share, your body
was telling you this is not your path and thatyou needed to relax and let go to trust that it
(07:44):
was going to be okay.
I've experienced this interestingly enoughtoward the end of my career after 24 years of
education, and starting to notice the lack ofquality time that I was having with my children
in, I guess, all of the years are criticalyears.
But as they started heading into their teenyears, I didn't want to be surrendering their
(08:06):
development to the internet, babysitters, orwhomever it would be that was looking after
them after I was working with, you know, such afury pace.
So I can relate directly to what it means tolisten to those messages either whether they're
coming from your family or from your body.
To make good decisions for yourself.
(08:26):
I think that's so ultimately empowering.
I don't know if you agree when you're able todo that release and letting go and accepting
that this was the right thing for you to do.
I mean, how did you feel after that, or how didthings change?
Yes, really.
It was a release.
Well, for me, it was a release, but I can tellyou my environment couldn't couldn't relate to
(08:49):
this.
They were telling, hey.
Why are you staying at home?
Why don't why don't you go back?
Why don't you you can do just a little.
And when I told them, no, actually, I can't.
Perhaps there are women outside who can, butit's not my way So and just looking backwards
because in this situation, you don't know whereyour path is leading you.
(09:12):
But looking backwards, now I can tell you,okay.
I had to do this because I had to go throughthese experiences in a different way so that
I'm now able to to teach others to guide themand to be there because if I hadn't done hadn't
done this in full, there was would be alwayssomething missing.
(09:34):
And so, yes, it was actually not a struggle forme in the inside, but to really to to know
where I'm at and in which position andsituation I'm at and really to let everyone
outside and not to you know, I haven't I Idon't regret anything.
(09:57):
So people can't understand this here, but Idon't care about this, actually.
So I'm strong enough to say, okay, it's yours.
It's not my life.
I think this is a beautiful example of thedevelopment that you're talking about that
really is an example of, inner work.
Because it takes a tremendous amount ofpersonal fortitude, self validation, strength,
(10:21):
to be able to make the decision that is rightfor you, And as you said, very respectfully,
including your partner with your family's bestinterests in mind, but blocking out the opinion
and the perspective of other people.
In the way that they are living their life andthey're sort of projecting on you what what is
best for yours.
And I love that to your point about when youfirst have the child, you don't necessarily
(10:46):
anticipate all of the decisions and, you know,crossroads that you're going to come to in your
own personal development and as a parent.
You don't see it all, but you reference one ofmy favorite, quotes about and I just has
mentioned this in another conversation.
It's funny with a different individual.
(11:07):
Steve Jobs is attributed to saying, that youcan only connect the the dots looking backward.
Right?
Once you have arrived at the place, to yourpoint, you don't know where the path is leading
you, but you're trusting and you're movingforward.
And when you get to whatever place it is thatyou're in the future and you look back, it
makes sense.
The things are lined up.
And so now you're in this beautiful place.
(11:28):
Where you are helping other people at thebeginning of their journey of becoming a mother
and doing this inner development And thatbrings me to ask the question.
What is it that you teach them to do?
What do you help them learn?
Yes.
Firstly, if you give birth to a child, birth toa baby, you really feel exhausted.
(11:53):
So you have to raise your energy, actually, toraise it so that you can it's always a self
care too because it's not only the projectionon the baby, which is important, no way to ask,
but always keep yourself in mind that you caneat and drinking up, drinking is so important.
(12:18):
And I can remember I was drinking.
I think 3 or 4 liters a day, but I wasbreastfeeding.
This was my passion.
And,
they always told me, hey, don't forget thewater.
So if you breastfeed, just place a water bottlejust next to you that after breastfeeding, you
just drink 2.
And, just there are so many little steps thatyou can take to raise your energy really to to
(12:47):
give your time give yourself time to sleep.
So there is another trick to say sleep if thebaby sleeps.
So you will never get a lack of sleep, but weare always so focused on our rhythm.
We have to wake up at 7 o'clock or whatever andgo to bed at 10 o'clock or whatever.
(13:10):
And, oh, the baby doesn't fit into this.
No.
So you have to, yes, you have to adjust yourrhythm to the baby.
But actually, you will you won't lose anythingbecause what gain is really the strength, the
the strength, and the the bonding process withyour baby, and it's It's always connected like
(13:34):
a team.
It goes it gives you something, and you you canget something, and you can give something.
And this is always in a flow.
And if you can accept this, it would just bringyou the energy, and you will be grateful for
everything.
I I like to tell everyone be grateful for whatyou have, and sometimes you forget to to say
(13:57):
thank you, but it's a nice way just in themorning or if you just start feeding your baby
to look at your baby and be grateful.
Because this is so this is so precious to tobring this soul on earth.
So And it's only having a baby.
(14:18):
You know?
Yes.
There's so much more insight.
You know, the principle or the premise of thisshow is that six is remarkably simple.
And it's not easy work to change your rhythm,to accept a new process, to not be in control,
So to speak, but to go with the flow, the newone that's being created between you and the
(14:38):
baby, but I think this is another example ofthe development, and I love what you advise
about being sure that your frequency is high,that you're energized and hydrated, well
rested, and this transcendent principle ofgratitude.
This is applicable for new mothers.
It's individuals who are stepping into newroles so many people can benefit from the
(15:01):
practice of opening your eyes.
And it doesn't need to be anything fabulous,but what do you see What is present with you
that you are grateful for?
It is such an amazing energy booster andelevator.
So I love that you share that as one of theprinciples that you teach new or soon to be
moms because I can imagine that's just, a veryempowering way to go through the journey of
(15:27):
motherhood, especially in the sometimeschallenging early years.
Yeah.
That's really fantastic.
So you work with a lot of people who are new intheir journey or early some frustration, but I
wonder what are some challenges that you seecommon challenges that new mothers or early
(15:49):
parenting mothers are experiencing.
And, how do you help them get on the righttrack?
Perhaps especially the individuals who didn'tget to start adopting these mindsets before the
baby came so that maybe they felt prepared.
How do you help, or what do you tell people todo to navigate some of the challenges?
As I think one of the biggest challenges isreally that we that our new I would call this
(16:13):
the new society, the upcoming mothers, theyoung mothers, who are, I would say, are kind
of disconnected to nature because of ourinformation area, information time, everyone is
gathering from the outside and is not listeningto the inside anymore, but given giving birth
(16:37):
to a child as an inside job too.
So you have to Fields your and your Fields,actually.
What do you want in this situation?
So it's important, really, to come back toyourself and to practice some time just to to
be with yourself.
And even if it's just 10 minutes a day, you canstart with this.
(17:01):
It's totally okay, but start to be quiet, startto to look inside of you, what's coming up,
what emotions come up, perhaps you are you youare not patient to to become for 10 minutes.
So if you can't do this, go back to 5 minutes.
(17:21):
But at least take a time to start so that youcan get in contact with yourself again.
It's nature.
It's nothing new, you know, and you can't readit well.
You can read it in books, but actually, this isthe point you really have to practice Exactly.
You have to do it.
So it's nice that you have read this in a bookand you know it, but it doesn't help you.
(17:46):
So really, take the time, take your timer, andput it on 5 minutes, and just do it.
I love this encouraging people to slow down andMaybe you think about it like the control on a
valve to just slow the input a little bit,right, so that they have a better space and
(18:09):
opportunity to connect with and feelthemselves.
I, very often work with clients and encouragethem the same practice that I do which is
taking time to be aware.
Like you said, what's coming up?
What's coming up for you?
Instead of functioning all the time onautopilot, We look up and we don't know how we
got home or when we did this or that, but to bepresent with yourself so that you're aware of
(18:33):
what you're thinking, I think, just gives yousuch a beautiful position so that you're not at
the effect of everything that's going on andmuch more intentional.
I also heard you say that you like to encouragepeople to to think about how do they want to
be.
Right?
Like, what do you if if you slept, if you stopthe flow on that valve just a little bit, It's
(18:54):
a lot easier to maintain who you are and whatyou want because you're spending intentional
time every day, connecting or at least thinkingabout How do I want to be as a mother?
How do I I value this time with my child andthe, you know, habits and practices that I'm
now developing?
And, man, this gives me so many beautifulmemories of what I don't believe I necessarily
(19:18):
had taught wisdom for when I was a young motherand my children were just born.
But so much of what you say about just creatingthis space to slow down, so much wisdom came
from my intuition.
You know, perhaps it was inherited or somethingthat I observed from, you know, my younger
years seeing children cared for.
(19:39):
When I look back at things that I did, I havevery few regrets about the choices that I made
as a mother because my children and I were thecenter of those decisions.
And we had the very connected experience.
When you talked about breastfeeding, that wassomething that was so important to me.
And I am so grateful for it, right, that it wasa beautiful time of connection, but also
(20:05):
nourishment, so many different elements there.
And so I think that's just such beautifuladvice to help individuals navigate these
decisions about what they're gonna prioritize.
And do in their early parenting days.
So thank you for that suggestion.
I think that this conversation is so rich andinteresting, and clearly we could go on and on.
(20:25):
I have a few other questions for you.
But before we get carried away and forget, Iwould love to share with people.
Where they could find you to learn more aboutthe teaching that you do and ways that you can
help new or young mothers in their, theirjourney.
Yeah.
Okay.
You can find me in on, yeah, a few social mediaplatforms like LinkedIn, there it is my full
(20:50):
name Blanca side, and you can find me on theInstagram.
It's a little difficult because it's a Germanaccount, so it's the name of my book.
That's the German title.
Have I become a mother?
And, on Facebook, you can also find me withBlanca Filed, with my full May.
(21:11):
So, yeah, and, I think that's
We will make sure that everyone is able toclick those links easily attached to this post,
and that'll help them with the German title.
But you and I discussed that your book is alsoavailable on Amazon and English.
That's correct.
No.
Not not in English so far.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Yeah.
(21:31):
I think it's it obviously is a topic that Ithink would be beneficial widely, but I love
that members of the German community are havingan opportunity to experience this now.
And you've demonstrated that you have atremendous wealth of wisdom and ability to help
people in English So I hope that they will lookyou up and follow to learn more.
So thinking about this topic of motherhood andthe journey of, you know, who we just being the
(21:55):
most intentional and impactful mothers that wedesire to be.
What's one thing that you believe all motherscan do?
That makes everything else about this job ofmotherhood either easier or really not
necessary to be stressed or worried about inyour experience.
Yes.
My experience is really follow your intuition.
(22:17):
It's it's so easy to say and so hard to dobecause again, a lot of people just are
disconnected from their being, but this is soWe are given this, actually.
So everyone has it, and especially mothersbecause they prepared to give birth.
(22:44):
So they have got everything.
I don't have to to buy anything or learnanything or just to to get into your own
intuition because each way is different, and weare all individuals.
So what might be good for me might not be goodfor you.
You have to figure this out with yourintuition.
(23:04):
How what does what feels good for you?
And, it's, again, it's easy to say, but I knowthat There might be mothers who say, oh, I have
no problem with my intuition.
That's wonderful.
I say, go.
But there might be others who say, Oh, I don'tknow.
(23:27):
I have to learn first.
No.
Don't learn with your head.
Don't learn with your brain, but learn withyour heart.
So that's the point to really get connectedwith your heart.
Yeah.
I'm glad you mentioned that about the thepeople who might feel that they struggle with
being in touch with their intuition.
And I think earlier, you mentioned howimportant it is for mothers to have practices
(23:50):
like drinking regular, you know, amounts ofwater and making sure that they're well
nourished.
I think it definitely goes without saying thatwe can get out of touch and detached from
ourselves and from from god, our source, thatit's so important to make sure that you are in
your best state really taking care of yourself.
(24:12):
And I think this refers back to what you saidabout the inner work that we each get to do
which is what allows us to be connected withour intuition and, really making all of our
decisions and living our life from the bestpossible place.
Do you have a favorite story or personalexperience about a shift or transformation that
(24:35):
you have seen happen with a mother who is youknow, embarking on this journey perhaps with
all of the expectation and distraction that wehave, but finding that place of calm so that
she could really be the strong mother that shedesires to be.
Well, yes.
There is a one.
There's one who comes in my mind.
(24:56):
She was not a young well, she her her youngestgirl was one year old, and I think she had 2
boys also.
They were older.
Mhmm.
And, she was, yes, she was leaving her husband,which which was just a toxic relationship, and
she was struggling so hard in this situationand thought she couldn't get out of this.
(25:19):
And almost felt a little depressed, butactually with encouraging to get into her
power, really, that she's able to go throughthis.
And it doesn't help if you are in arelationship that's toxic.
So actually you get the power back.
(25:43):
And you just have to become aware of what iswhat are you capable of now?
And, she was so glad, so happy after this.
And she said, oh, I have my dream job now, andI can Actually, she was a teacher and she said,
(26:03):
oh, I I had got a mission here.
She she came from Kenya.
And, I like to empower other women here and,just to, yes, to take their education and to
build them up into the computers andeverything.
So digital world for the woman there who liverural, and she got wonderful job.
(26:30):
And she said, I'm so glad that I didn't losemyself in this situation, actually, to fall
down and not knowing what to do now and justfeeling alone and, carried those 3 children.
Well, actually, it's so sad, but the the oldestboy was thinking I had to save my mom now
(26:53):
because she's in a struggle.
So he felt that he should protector, but he isa boy.
So this is so I think this was such a bigshift, and he was so happy of this when he saw
his his mother just raising.
So this was so
(27:14):
I love this.
You talked about, you know, being able to lookat the circumstances around you, I get so much
out of the example that you just Number 1, thatperhaps it's never too late.
Whether your child is unborn, just born 1 year,early elementary, whatever, that you always
(27:35):
have the space to to borrow your words, getyour power back, right?
And to thrive from that position.
And I love the way you framed the story at theend that she was rising.
So beautiful.
And I think this is absolutely what we wish foreveryone around us.
It's the reason for this podcast, just that wegive people just enough to help them elevate
(27:58):
the position that they're in and experiencesomething new from that vantage point.
They can look around and decide what's So Ireally appreciate you creating this space for
us to do just that, to share a little bit ofinformation that individuals could take and try
and absolutely follow and connect with you tolearn more.
So thank you so much for being on remarkablysimple today, Blanca.
(28:21):
It has been a pleasure.
Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure for me to be here with you andto be invited and to share a little of my
stories.
Thank you.
Alright.
So until we get to connect again next time.
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides.  Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer  Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.