Jasmine's Mom loved her, but so often was not the mother that Jasmine needed, especially when her brother Duncan died in a car accident. Jasmine concludes her story by sharing some of the darkest times of her life, but the story does not end there, because God came in and brought light to dispel the darkness. God turned everything upside down and created a beautifully restored relationship between Jasmine and her mom Christy, who is now also an amazing grandmother to little Hendrix!
(Be sure to listen to part 1 of Jasmine's story before diving into this one, we hope you love the entire 2-part story!)
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Episode Transcript
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Phil Shuler (00:00):
HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the
Safe House Ministries podcast,where we share stories of the
power of God to change livesthrough Safe House Ministries.
Safe House Ministries is basedout of Columbus, Georgia, and we
are a ministry that exists tolove and serve people who have
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I'm your host, Phil Shuler, theDirector of Development for Safe
(00:22):
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(00:43):
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And 68 percent of individualswho stay at least one night with
(01:04):
us End up finding work andmoving into their own home.
Thank you for being with ustoday and listening to our
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We hope you enjoy this week'sepisode.
When I looked in my grandma'scar, saw the seat go to walk
back across the storage yard.
This was right after BJ made hisbig commotion.
And as I'm walking across, mygranddad is trying to come drive
(01:28):
across the storage yard becausehe heard all the commotion and
he thought he was in neutral orpark whatever, and he was really
in drive.
So he went from park to driveand he hit me.
So I flew on top of the car.
Wow.
And he landed in a storage unitunder a moving truck?
Yeah he as in my granddad.
(01:50):
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
So we both went to the er andthis was right in the middle of,
me moving to Macon.
And BJ was, he was just backingout, creating a drama scene and
Yeah, pretty much.
Wow.
So then it was a battle becauseit did hurt me.
I had a sic nerve, so I couldn'twalk for two weeks and my mom
(02:13):
had to come to Macon and help mewith Hendrix because he was just
a baby.
So why were you moving to Macon?
What made you move?
What caused you to move toMacon?
Better opportunity work-wise or,yes.
Did you have family out there ormy aunt lives there and my uncle
has a hood cleaning business.
Where he goes to restaurants andcleans hoods.
(02:33):
Yeah.
And BJ was gonna run that forhim.
Wow.
BJ needed a good career path.
Yeah.
And we were trying to help himwith that.
And we were trying to just giveHendricks a better future.
Yeah.
That was the whole point inmoving.
And there was more jobopportunity there for me.
So that was what the plan was.
But that fell through when hedecided that he didn't want to
(02:56):
go.
So of course I went because Iwanted a better opportunity and
I wanted to give my child thebest life.
So you and BJ were pretty muchdone at that point?
For the most part.
We stills, we still, we were onthe outs, should I say, because
at that time I did not know whyhe made a commotion.
Oh, okay.
(03:16):
So you didn't know he was, Ididn't put all the pieces
together.
I didn't have time.
You just knew he didn't want togo.
And really the commotion wasjust to get himself out of it.
And that's fine.
Wow.
Maybe that was God doingsomething for me that I wasn't
gonna do for myself.
'cause I'm not a quitter, like Isaid, I'm gonna put my all in
and in it and fight for it.
Yeah.
(03:37):
Until there's no fight left.
So I moved to Macon.
We were there just a couplemonths and that's when Duncan
happened.
Okay.
Take a pause and tell me aboutyour grandparents and the.
The part that they played inyour life, were they a big part
of your life?
Were they, my mom's mom wasreally a big part of my life.
(03:57):
And we always went to mygrandparents on holidays and
some just Sundays.
My mom said that they alwayswent when she was really young.
Yeah.
And we did that quite often.
I had a great relationship withmy grandparents the ones that
owned the donut shop.
Yeah.
I believe my mom talked aboutthat.
And they were, your grandparentshad a really good marriage and
(04:18):
just They did.
Yeah.
Kinda a good example that Yeah.
And maybe that's also too why, Iguess I wanted that, that
lifelong partner and afriendship on fire.
'cause that's what real love is,wow.
Yeah.
And you saw that in yourgrandparents?
Oh, most definitely.
Now, as they got older, I thinkmy granddad got on my grandma's
(04:40):
nerves and she got on his nervesprobably.
But that's just'cause they wereolder and they'd been together
so long and hey, you're gettingon my nerves right now, but I
still love you.
That kind of thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They were definitely a big partof my life.
I remember staying the night onenight with my grandma Evelyn,
and we were making bananapudding and we didn't have the
(05:00):
right ingredients.
So we went to Walmart at themiddle of the night and we, I
ran in by myself'cause I was oldenough and got what we needed
and we went back home and madeit.
Wow.
And I remember leaving a notefrom my granddad and she called
him Tom, we'll be back Tom.
We went to Walmart.
Love you.
Something like that.
(05:21):
I had great memories.
And my grandma, Wanda, shealways picked me up from school
when I was in elementary becausemy mom worked.
Yeah.
And she always would pull up inher little green neon and she
worked at Carter's barbecue andshe always brought me a club so
I ate a club for snack.
Awesome.
Wow.
I have great memories with mygrandparents.
(05:41):
Yeah.
So they were like a positivestability.
Most definitely.
Especially when, I guess in thearea of relationships with when
you, because you saw your momjust have so many failed
relationships, but yourgrandparents were right.
I'd never seen my grandma or mygranddad with anyone else.
Now my mom's mom, that's alittle bit different, which my
(06:02):
mom talked about that when shedid her podcast her segment on
the podcast.
Yeah.
And maybe that's why my mom, shealso kinda maybe that's what she
saw, growing up.
And then her dad wasn't reallyaround, so maybe, she also, a
part of her just wanted, to beloved.
And then she had two kids andshe probably thought like, how I
(06:23):
think, but except for I justdon't act on it.
Yeah.
She probably wanted that familyfor us.
Yeah.
And I want that too, but I wantit for the right reasons.
Yeah.
I want someone, I want you wantto, I want God to send the right
person.
You don't wanna jump into it.
Exactly.
You want to make sure it'sright.
And right from the start,really.
(06:45):
Exactly.
Yeah.
So that's very important to me.
So when you went to Macon withHendricks, did Christie go with
you?
Or was it just you andHendricks?
No, she stayed there.
Okay.
So you and Hendricks are livingwith your aunt.
I guess started working withyour uncle.
I don't know exactly where mymom was staying at that time.
I wanna say that maybe her andJoe split up and I think maybe
she may have been staying withone of her really old friends.
(07:08):
Greg.
And then she also may have, Ithink she stayed with my grandma
Wanda, because she was she wassickly.
Yeah.
So she would go over there andhelp her.
Now, at this point in your life,like you loved your mom, but
were you guys, were you you Iguess we're a little, I think
she was doing her own thing.
And she was working at thatrestaurant and I was a new mom
(07:31):
and I was pregnant.
And I guess we, we just didn'tspend as much time together.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I don't really know why.
I can't really, I can't likepinpoint it.
Yeah.
I know that, I know that wespent time together, but it's
all, that's like a blur.
Yeah.
I don't really know why though.
(07:52):
So then then the whole worldfell apart.
Yeah, it did.
My mom got the call about mybrother and my grandma.
Me and Hendricks's dad were inan altercation.
I just hung up the phone withhim.
It was pretty late in the night.
I believe it was a Sunday.
(08:12):
Yes.
And my grandma Wanda called andshe was like, I need to speak to
Mimi.
I need to speak to Mimi, whichis my mom's sister, which is her
daughter.
And I was like, what's wrong?
What's wrong?
She wouldn't tell me.
And then I gave my phone to myaunt and I never figured out
what was wrong.
I just knew that I had to go toLia.
(08:33):
And I knew that my, I think I,it's really hard to say, but I
wanna say I knew that my brotherwas in an accident maybe.
I don't really know because allthat it's like my body went and
my body and my mind went throughautopilot.
Like airplane mode.
Yeah.
Do not disturb.
Everything's a really big blur.
(08:53):
But I do know recall, likegetting in the car with my aunt
and Hendricks and going to Lia.
We were going way over the speedlimit and I remember getting
there and the way that you comeinto Vidalia, there's two ways
you can come in.
The road that we always take isby the high school where the
railroad tracks are.
And all the way there I prayedfor my brother to, just keep
(09:18):
breathing.
So yeah, I guess I could saythat I thought that he was,
okay.
Or he was gonna be okay.
And when we come up to thatlittle split, you go straight or
you veer off to the right.
I saw all these lights at therailroad tracks and I knew then
that my brother was not okay.
I don't know how I knew that,but I knew that I could feel it
(09:38):
in my heart.
I could feel it in my stomach.
And I remember getting toTiffany's house and she's not
blood family, but she is familytoday.
It's my best friend, Ashley'solder sister and Ashley's been
my best friend since I wasthree.
So she is my best friend.
30 years.
Wow.
This is a very long time.
(10:00):
Long story short, we get to herhouse.
And I remember opening the doorand I remember having a Mountain
Dew, I think, in my hand.
And after that, I don'tremember.
Wow.
I think maybe Ashley told methat my brother was not okay.
Or maybe my mom, I don't reallyknow.
I remember falling out in theyard and feeling very not okay
(10:22):
after that.
I don't know who got Hendricksout the car.
I don't know anything.
Then I think I remember callingHendricks's dad and maybe he met
me to get Hendricks because Ineeded him to, I'm not sure.
But it all, that's really a bluruntil Duncan's funeral.
(10:43):
And the only thing I remember isthat I went to it and that I
brought Hendricks with mebecause I'm not really sure.
I just, he, BJ just wasn'treally there for me.
Yeah.
And of course my mom couldn'tbe, so all that happened.
That's hard.
So you were really having todeal with that on your own.
(11:06):
Yeah, and I guess I reallydidn't deal with it honestly.
That's why I go to therapytoday.
Because I haven't dealt with alot of things I didn't deal with
not really having my mom, not inthat time period, because my mom
didn't have herself, God heldher up in my opinion.
He kept her, here with us.
(11:26):
And I guess I just didn'tproperly grieve my brother.
I didn't, because I was a newmom.
A week after Duncan passed away,I pretty much became a full
blown single mom.
That's when everything reallywas official.
That's when I found outeverything about Hendricks's
dad.
And then me and my mom decidedthat's a lot all at once.
(11:47):
Yeah, it is.
Then me and my mom decided tomove in together.
We lived in the same apartmentcomplex that we lived in, that I
talked about.
Yeah.
And we lived right next door tothe apartment that me and my mom
and my brother lived in.
Wow.
Yeah.
And we lived there and she justdrank.
She drank every day.
It started out, just drinking inthe afternoons, which was not
(12:10):
completely abnormal to mebecause she did that.
Yeah.
Throughout my life when shewould come home from work, oh,
I'm just gonna drink a glass ofwine, or I'll just drink, a six
pack of ponies, which is littlebitty Bud Light bottles.
And I just didn't think anythingby it.
Then it became earlier andearlier, and then other things
happened.
(12:32):
She was not aware and that wasvery concerning.
So I didn't grieve because I wasdealing with a lot.
I was so worried about my momand I really didn't know how to
grieve.
And I feel like that my mom,because she was drinking most of
the time it was her son.
(12:54):
It was her son, and she lost himand it was that was it.
But in my mind, I'm like, we'rein the same boat.
We just got two different pairof shoes on.
Yeah.
He was my best friend.
He was my brother.
He was my lifelong best friendbut I couldn't compare my pain
to her pain is how I looked atit.
Yeah.
'cause I couldn't, because if Ilost Hendricks today, Mr.
(13:17):
Fear, I don't know how we wouldbe having a conversation right
now, so I didn't judge her.
I just was worried about her.
So worried about my mom.
I was, and I just didn't wannalose her.
And then when things got worseand she was in a relationship,
and then I felt like there wassome other things that maybe she
experimented with, then I reallythought, oh my God, I have to
(13:40):
protect Hendricks.
That can't be here, that can'tbe around him.
Yeah.
And I just pushed her away.
And I don't know if that was theright thing to do or the wrong
thing to do, because I was solost myself.
But I didn't turn to anything.
But I didn't turn to anything.
I didn't even turn to God.
My faith today is stronger thanit was then.
(14:04):
Yeah.
And I, I don't, I feel if I didturn to God, would he have
helped me, helped my mom sooneror, you know what, I have so
many what ifs, but I do knowthat everything that happened
super fast, but it felt likeforever and I felt like I was
always waiting for that call.
(14:25):
That something happened to yourmom.
To my mom.
Because we, I told her that shehad to go, I was like, you can't
stay here.
So many things had happened.
She had took my debit card and,then I started having to hide
things, like how much money Ihad.
And then it was like, so muchwas happening.
(14:46):
Yeah.
And I remember us getting into adisagreement one time and I left
and then I came home and therewas dishes broke everywhere.
And just things like that.
And I was like, okay.
Yeah.
That's when I was like, okay,you definitely you have to go.
Wow.
That cannot be around Hendricks.
Yeah.
And how old was Hendricks aboutat that time?
(15:06):
Not even a year.
Oh, okay.
A little over a year.
Yeah, a little over a year.
Over a year.
But because I wanna say likebefore I, I get ahead of myself
so backtracked before we evenmoved into the apartment, I
would say, because all thattakes time.
Like we got money from theinsurance and everything when
(15:28):
everything happened with Duncan.
But we were staying with Greg.
And I remember like Hendricks'sfirst birthday party, my mom
wasn't there.
She was up the night beforedrinking and she was somewhere
days before that.
And I don't know if she had itexperimented with something
(15:48):
outside of alcohol, but all Iknow is that when it was time to
go to Hendricks's birthdayparty, his first birthday party,
she was sweeping the kitchen andit was time to go to his first
birthday party and she didn'tcome.
And I came back and the partywas over with and she was so
upset that the bar that theparty was over with, she was
getting out the shower.
(16:09):
And I was like, the party's beenover with.
It was, I was so frustratedbecause it was like I couldn't
get her to just.
It was almost like I wanted justto be like, get a grip.
But it's like how can you saythat?
Yeah.
Because there's no way.
But it was like, I need you, iswhat I mean by that.
(16:30):
I need you here, even though mybrother is gone.
I need you, Hendricks need you.
He's your only grand baby.
Not that I need her to take careof me, but I need her.
And you need her as a part ofyour life.
Yeah.
That's my mom.
Yeah.
And just like going back to,childhood she's always been a
great mom, so it was completelydifferent for all those things
(16:51):
to be taking place.
And I just wanted my mom, I justwanted my mom back and I just
felt like the alcohol took thataway.
She was not the same person.
Wow.
And so you had to just push herout and she went into the
darkness and you just tried tomove on as best you could, can
a, avoid it, pretend like itwasn't there, except for when
(17:13):
she would call and she'd bereally upset, and then I would
get upset and I would say thingsthat I didn't mean because it
was like so many people wouldsay things that were taking
place and I don't even know ifthey were true or not.
They would tell you things aboutyour mom and about what was
going on.
Yeah.
Like they would call me, I sawyour mom here, I saw your mom
(17:35):
there.
I saw her do this.
And maybe some of those thingswere true.
'cause she, we do talk aboutthese things today.
Yeah.
And she's honest with me.
And, but that became like, itwas consuming.
So I had, I didn't sleep like itwas just me and Hendrix, just me
and him because we had our ownplace by this point.
(17:56):
I didn't wanna live with my auntand I just feel like I just went
through the motions every day.
Yeah.
But I, like I said a while back,I have health problems, so I
struggle and then I'm mentallystruggling.
'cause, I'm waiting for thatcall.
(18:17):
And then I'm a single mom andit's just my baby and me.
It was me and Hendricks from theage of one until five just me
and him.
Wow.
So that's, how'd you supportyourself through that time?
I worked at the college there.
I worked at middle Co, middleGeorgia College.
(18:37):
I was a chef there.
Oh.
And.
That was awesome.
I loved my job there.
I met some really awesome peoplethere.
One of my really close bestfriends today, she was my
executive chef.
Her name is Lana and we're stillfriends today.
Yeah.
And I got, and she was thatperson that was my outlet.
(18:59):
Like I got to go to her aboutlike my mom, like when people
would call and say things and,make me worry more about my mom.
'cause I didn't talk to her allthe time.
We didn't talk very often.
She would only call me randomly.
And usually it was really late.
And I don't know if it was whenshe was upset or if she was
intoxicated, because I can't seeher in person.
(19:20):
Yeah.
I can only hear her and she wasthat person for me.
Like I could let it all out.
And she was the one that told methat, I need to start doing
therapy.
So I started doing vul VultureVirtual Oh yeah.
Therapy.
Okay.
And that helped a little bit,but when my therapist resigned,
they didn't put me with anothertherapist.
(19:41):
So I only got to take care of alittle bit of, like therapy for
grieving and what I was goingthrough.
And then I didn't start therapyagain until just a couple weeks
ago.
And that's years later.
Wow.
'cause I've lived here foralmost two years.
Yeah.
Over two years.
The end of last month was twoyears.
(20:02):
Okay.
So really I feel like I've justtook care of Hendricks Yeah.
And focused on him andeverything else I just ignored.
Wow.
I just pretended like it wasn'tthere.
It was there in my head, but onthe outside.
Yeah.
So I just held it all in.
So when did when did you startto get to a better place just
(20:23):
for yourself and your own life?
Was it before your mom got herlife together or was it was your
mom getting her life together?
Something that helped you to Iwould say when my mom called me
and she came to Macon, Iremember her, my cousin went and
got her, brought her like wemet, something like that.
(20:44):
She ended up going to RiversEdge and I think she went to a
treatment place that was like aprivately place, so it wasn't
really the right place for her.
And so then she went back toRiver Edge and that's when she
got into House of Time.
And that's like running that,just short without putting a
bunch of details.
(21:05):
And when she got to House ofTime, that's when I started
focusing a little bit more onmyself.
Okay.
And that's because I knew my Soyou, you started to worry less
about what was gonna happen toher?
Yeah.
I knew that my mom was okay.
You felt like she was.
And that's a big part of what Istruggled with, is the fact
(21:26):
that, of losing my brother andthinking that I would lose my
mom.
Yeah.
And my grandma, she passed awayin the, in this timing period.
I had a dream that mygrandmother would pass away on
my brother's birthday and shedid.
Wow.
And I told my aunt that, I don'tknow if that was some, I don't
(21:47):
know the correct way to say thator how I even really feel about
it, but I know that I had adream about it.
And I told my aunt that, and shedid, she passed away on my
brother's birthday.
And I guess all these emotions,like when I knew my mom was
safe, I knew that it's like Isaw the light at the end of the
tunnel.
You could start to begin to dealwith things that were just Yeah.
(22:11):
Hidden in your heart and yourmind.
And I just talked to her, likeeverything was normal because
she was more herself.
'cause there was nothing mindaltering.
She wasn't losing her mindbecause of, even if she wasn't
drinking, being homeless orstaying places that are not
really safe, that right therewill drive you crazy.
(22:33):
I was talking to Miss Cynthia onthe way here and I was like,
there's no way that I could behomeless.
Not even any kind of substancethat just being homeless alone
would drive me in pain.
It would drive me like, I don'tknow how I could survive it.
Yeah.
Not knowing where you're gonnasleep, what's gonna happen next?
(22:54):
Is somebody gonna take the lastbit of your food, the last
bottle of water, anything.
My mom experienced all thosethings and that, that breaks my
heart, that all that time that Ididn't have a relationship with
her.
Those are the types of thingsthat she had to go through, and
that does break my heart becauseit's I, I look back and I'm
(23:16):
like, could I have done more?
But I didn't even know where tostart.
It's I just, that's like when Isaid, like when I just would be
like, it's like I just wanted tobe like, can it just all go
away?
Yeah.
Not so you're trying to holdyour own life together.
Yeah.
You have no idea how to Yeah.
Help your mom.
I didn't.
I didn't, I just wanted, Iwanted my brother to be back and
(23:38):
I wanted my mom to be okay.
That's how I felt abouteverything that, all that, all
those years of our life.
And it's like now, life today isgreat, except for that my
brother lives within us.
I know that he is my guardianangel, and I know that he must
have whispered something in mybrother's, in my son's ear,
(24:00):
because my son acts just likehim.
Hey, give them a hard time downthere or something.
Because he acts so much likehim.
He even looks like him.
And I just know that I'mthankful for life today, but
looking back, that was a longroad.
Yeah.
Wow.
(24:21):
I'm thankful to have my mom.
It it's sobering to me, justhits me that even though you
weren't the one that was in thedrinking and the addiction and
the drugs and the homelessnessit, it just affected you so
much.
It just hit you so hard withthe, it mentally just kinda, it
just made me not, it made meshut down.
(24:45):
It made me not deal withanything.
And that's not healthy.
Yeah.
It's like you can't pretendthings like that don't exist
when they Right there.
Yeah.
But you didn't know what to doand just became very consuming.
Yeah.
Tell me about your relationshipwith the Lord and how that.
(25:06):
Began and came to flourish.
And where you are now with him?
I've always had a relationshipwith God.
I've always been a part ofchurch.
Even when my mom worked at nightI used to be a part of a youth
group and I was even part of thedrama team.
Yeah.
We had on a little trip and wecompeted against all these other
(25:27):
churches that wow.
Had a drama team.
So I've always been a part ofchurch and if my mom couldn't
take us, the band, we had ayouth van.
Our youth pastor would come andget us, like from my house.
Some Saturdays he would come andget us and take us to McDonald's
for breakfast.
I was always in the center ofchurch.
(25:47):
Yeah.
And that happened from a youngage.
I used to go with my grandma andmy granddad he was my step
granddad, but that's what I knewas my granddad.
Yeah.
That's my mom's stepdad.
So that was, that was childhood.
I mean up to probably middleschool, pretty much, we didn't
go to church as often, but whenmy mom married Chris, we were
(26:10):
members at a really big churchthere and we went every Sunday.
It started out as him just beinglike the patrol person that let
everybody in and out in thefirst service, and then we would
go to second service and hewould join us.
Yeah.
So we always, it was always apart of my life.
I would say.
Maybe college, not so much.
Of course I prayed, I say thesame prayer I've always said all
(26:32):
my life even with my mom.
And of course I add, more thingsto it now that I'm older.
But I've always been involved inchurch but you don't have to go
to church, in my opinion, tohave relationship with God.
But I would feel like I'vealways had faith and knew there
was a God.
It definitely fell very far off,away, whatever word to describe
(26:58):
it, when everything happenedwith my brother.
Yeah.
I did not turn to God.
I questioned God.
I wanted to know why, and then Iwanted to know so many different
things.
I wanted to know, why did my momlose her?
Only other child, she wentthrough so many hospital stays
with me thinking she was gonnalose me, because there was a
(27:20):
doctors that would come in andliterally all of them would
scratch their head and be like,I don't know what else to do.
My mom experiencing that withme.
And then a couple years later,literally it just happening like
that.
So I just did not understand andI I didn't pray as often.
(27:41):
The only time I really did is toprotect Hendricks and to please
not take my mom.
And then I moved here.
And what brought you here toColumbus?
My mom.
Okay.
When she started doing better?
Yeah.
I always wanted to be close tomy mom.
She's my best friend.
(28:02):
She's always been my bestfriend.
And when I knew that she, my momwas back, my real, like the
person that's on the inside wasback on the outside.
I wanted to be close to her.
Yeah.
And nothing could come betweenus.
And even more so today, becauseour relationship is so much
stronger, just like myrelationship with God is so much
(28:25):
stronger because without God, wewould not be sitting here right
now.
Without God, I would not have mymom.
And without God, I would nothave my son.
And I know that.
I know that.
And even more so without God, Iwouldn't be sitting here yeah.
Because of people don't make itfrom listeria.
(28:48):
If you ever are interested, lookit up, look some things up about
it.
And then a lot of people thatare told that they can't have
kids, don't have kids, and a lotof people in any type of
addiction don't make it out butmy mom did.
Yeah.
And she's better than I've everseen.
She's one amazing woman.
(29:11):
She is, I hope, and I tell herthis all the time.
She says, you are.
You already are.
But I hope one day I'm at leasthalf the woman she is today.
Wow.
Because my mom's relationshipwith God is inspiring for me.
That's awesome.
And she, we talked about it.
She said, when I got to thehouse of time, it was like I was
(29:33):
a newborn in faith with Godagain she said, and now I'm like
a toddler.
And I was like I'm like anewborn all over again.
And it made sense.
Yeah.
Like that logic made sensebecause sometimes people do fall
back in faith when things happenin life.
Does it make it right?
No.
No.
That's not what I'm saying.
(29:53):
But it happens.
Yeah.
But what is even better is whenhe walks with you, even through
all that, he holds your hand andthen he lets your hand go and
just walks behind you.
When you get back to that fullfaith, like I know God has got
me every single day and I knowthat he has my mom every single
(30:16):
day.
It's so beautiful.
It's just, it's amazing.
It is very beautiful and Iusually am at church every
Sunday and if I'm not, because Idon't feel that great because
mornings are pretty rough for mebecause of my health.
Because I suffer from thedigestive issues and then I have
severe vitamin deficiencies.
(30:36):
So mornings I feel pretty weak.
But if I don't make it tochurch, then I try really hard
to watch it on Facebook.
'cause I love my church.
Yeah.
And we got bounded there fromone of my mom's friends in AA
and he's like family.
Wow.
And really, honestly, everybodyhere in Columbus that I have
(30:57):
become to know that is a part ofmy mom's recovery.
That's her family.
And they're my family too.
They are awesome.
That's so awesome.
What church do you guys go to?
We go to cityscape.
Great church, A super fastgrowing church.
I love it.
Wow.
Yeah.
I love it.
I love everything about it.
(31:18):
Pastor Jonathan, he is amazing.
I don't know how he preaches theword that the way that he does
it is literally like, God justwrites it down on a piece of
paper for him and he's this iswhat you give to them today.
That's awesome.
And the children's ministrythere.
It's cityscape kids.
(31:39):
They're amazing.
My kids love my kids.
My son loves it and he loves itthere with all the kids.
They did a Christmas musical.
That was the first one he everdid.
Yeah.
That was beautiful.
They were all dressed up likeangels.
Wow.
And it looked so beautiful.
Wow.
You have a, an amazing story andthank you so much for sharing it
(32:03):
for just the hardships and thedarkness and the difficulty and
the light at the end and thebeauty and the transformation
that God has done and just he'sgot great plans for your future
and for Hendricks's future.
I'm excited to, to see whatGod's gonna do.
I definitely would say so.
I, if I could give any advice toanybody that is a child of
(32:27):
someone that is inactiveaddiction.
Or recovery?
I would say just be patient andkeep your faith yeah.
'cause there is light at the endof the tunnel.
Wow.
That's good advice.
Not always easy.
No, most definitely not.
cause it is a struggle.
(32:48):
It is.
But it can happen.
Yeah.
And that's because of God.
He makes a way.
Yeah.
Any other last thoughts or wordsof advice or things that you'd
like to share?
I don't really I don't think soI don't think so do you have any
other questions for me?
So now just I would imagine thatyou have hope whereas maybe
(33:12):
before you didn't have that andjust the I guess so.
I used to watch this, I don'tknow if this is the right like
analogy that I'm looking for.
I.
I used to watch this movie, hopeFloats.
It's one of my favorite movies.
It's a love story, but at theend of the movie, I remember the
(33:32):
mom telling the daughter,beginnings are scary.
Endings are some kind, sometimessad, but it's the middle that
counts the most and I feel likeI'm in the middle right now.
Yeah.
And, but it's like I, I alreadywent through the beginning and
the end and my middle came now.
(33:53):
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it's like the beginningof everything like that happened
was most definitely scary.
And then I guess the ending ofeverything, like with my brother
and all that, and now this is mymiddle because it's like my mom
(34:13):
does that.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like my mom today, like it's ormaybe it was the, we're going
back to the middle, should Isay?
I don't know how to explain it,but it's today things are just
so different, even on a bad day.
It's like you found so manythings Yeah.
In your life to be grateful for.
It's I think it's a greatanalogy because it makes me
(34:36):
think of how similar it was.
You could think of Jesus Yeah.
The rough beginnings that hehad.
Yeah.
And then the middle of his lifeand the ministry and the end,
like he died at the end.
Yeah.
But that wasn't the end.
'cause he rose back to life.
And so that's it's like he wentback to the middle.
And it's, and now it's the bestever.
(35:00):
Wow.
That's a good, exactly what yousaid.
It made sense in my head and itcame out and then it was like, I
don't want everybody listeningto be like, wait a minute, what?
But in my mind I'm just like,the beginning of all that was so
scary.
The unknown, because I didn'tknow going to Vidalia about my
(35:20):
brother and all that.
And then it's like the end oflosing, that was the end.
Like how you say, Jesus died.
And unfortunately my brother,he, I don't like to say that,
but he died.
And I guess like the middle partis now for me because I had my
mom and I really didn't think I,that I would ever have what I
(35:44):
have today.
That life would be as great asit is today.
Yeah.
That is what we celebrate.
With Easter coming up in what, aweek and a half?
I know.
The new life, the resurrection,the, yeah, the rebirth that
comes because Jesus rose some ofthe dead.
I think this is the first Easterthat I'm like really excited
(36:06):
for.
And it's because Easter's alwaysbeen really hard for me because
Easter was the last holidaysspent with my brother.
And Hendricks was just a baby.
And I guess all the otherEasters in between, I didn't
have my mom and then the firstone that we were here, it was a
(36:27):
good Easter, but I guess like myrelationship with God today
wasn't it wasn't like that Yeah.
Last Easter.
Yeah.
So it's I like how you justexplained all that.
I'm like, wow, that's exactlyhow I look at all of this.
And I'm thankful that God, roseagain and that, we have this
(36:52):
life today and that this here onearth is just temporary.
Yeah.
And that we're gonna.
We're gonna rise with him.
Yeah.
If we get to where we're going.
Yeah.
There is there is a greatereternity than we can even
imagine.
Yeah.
And I like Earth but I can'twait till we get to that day.
I agree with you.
(37:13):
He'll as long and we're gonnaget to know everybody, right?
Yeah.
From what it says.
Yeah.
It'll be wonderful.
Somehow, some way we're gonnaknow, like who each person is.
If I never see you again, I'llsee you then.
Yes.
Yeah.
Because of Jesus.
Yeah.
And I wanna take a second tosay, if there's anybody
listening to this podcastepisode that has never trusted
Jesus as their savior, I wannaencourage you to think about
(37:35):
that and to explore what theBible has to say about how much
God loves us and how Jesus gavehis life and how he rose again,
so that we can be free, we canbe free from the bondage of sin
and it's such a wonderful thing.
It is unexplainable, therelationship with Jesus and the
(37:55):
relationship that he offers usto have with the Lord.
There's nothing like it.
If you're lost, if you'rehopeless, if you're struggling
and you don't know what to doturn to Jesus.
reach out to us here at SafeHouse.
The beautiful.
Transformation that Jesus hasbrought in Christy's life and in
(38:16):
Jasmine's life that can be yoursif you just accept it in Jesus
jasmine, anything else you wantto add before I close the
center?
Word of prayer?
No, I just wanna thank you foryour time and thank you for
everybody out there listening.
Awesome.
Let's pray.
Father, thank you for yourgrace.
(38:36):
Thank you for your mercy.
Thank you for Jasmine.
Thank you that you love her andthat you are there for her.
Always thank you for Christy andfor what you've done to just
give her such a vibrant,wonderful, new life and for how
she is such a wonderful part ofJasmine's life again and
(38:59):
hendricks's life, Lord.
Wow.
I think about what you haveplanned for Hendricks, and I
just pray your blessing uponhim.
I pray your presence in hislife.
I pray your protection over himand your face to shine upon him.
We love you and thank you foryour goodness.
In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen.
Amen.
We look forward to being with you again next week
(39:20):
as we share another testimonyabout the power and the goodness
of God to change lives throughSafe House Ministries.
if you are someone listening tothis podcast that loves to hear
these stories of the greatthings that God is doing in
changing people's lives for thebetter, and if you would like to
be a part of that work, pleasereach out to us You can reach us
(39:41):
at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus,Georgia, 31,904.
You can call us at seven oh sixthree two two.
3 7, 7 3, or you can email us atinfo@safehouse-ministries.com.
Microphone (Samson Q2U Mi (39:57):
Thank you so much for being with us
this week for the renew restoreand rejoice podcast of safe
house ministries, we pray thatGod will bless you this week.
And we look forward to havingyou back with us again next week
for a new episode.
HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the
Safe House Ministries podcast,where we share stories of the
power of God to change livesthrough Safe House Ministries.
Safe House Ministries is basedout of Columbus, Georgia, and we
are a ministry that exists tolove and serve people who have
been affected by addiction,homelessness, and incarceration.
I'm your host, Phil Shuler, theDirector of Development for Safe
(00:22):
House Ministries here inColumbus, Georgia.
Safe House serves over 1, 100people each month as they
transition back into ourcommunity.
Safe House provides an abundanceof services including 213 beds
for homeless individuals andfamilies, case management for
obtaining job skills and longterm employment.
Over 300 hot meals every day,free clothing, and so much more.
(00:43):
One of the most incredibleservices that Safe House
provides is our free 9 12 monthintensive outpatient substance
abuse program, which is statelicensed, CARF accredited, and
has no wait list.
Almost 100 percent ofindividuals staying in our
shelters who follow our threephase program become fully
employed within a few months.
And 68 percent of individualswho stay at least one night with
(01:04):
us End up finding work andmoving into their own home.
Thank you for being with ustoday and listening to our
podcast.
We hope you enjoy this week'sepisode.
When I looked in my grandma'scar, saw the seat go to walk
back across the storage yard.
This was right after BJ made hisbig commotion.
And as I'm walking across, mygranddad is trying to come drive
(01:28):
across the storage yard becausehe heard all the commotion and
he thought he was in neutral orpark whatever, and he was really
in drive.
So he went from park to driveand he hit me.
So I flew on top of the car.
Wow.
And he landed in a storage unitunder a moving truck?
Yeah he as in my granddad.
(01:50):
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
So we both went to the er andthis was right in the middle of,
me moving to Macon.
And BJ was, he was just backingout, creating a drama scene and
Yeah, pretty much.
Wow.
So then it was a battle becauseit did hurt me.
I had a sic nerve, so I couldn'twalk for two weeks and my mom
(02:13):
had to come to Macon and help mewith Hendrix because he was just
a baby.
So why were you moving to Macon?
What made you move?
What caused you to move toMacon?
Better opportunity work-wise or,yes.
Did you have family out there ormy aunt lives there and my uncle
has a hood cleaning business.
Where he goes to restaurants andcleans hoods.
(02:33):
Yeah.
And BJ was gonna run that forhim.
Wow.
BJ needed a good career path.
Yeah.
And we were trying to help himwith that.
And we were trying to just giveHendricks a better future.
Yeah.
That was the whole point inmoving.
And there was more jobopportunity there for me.
So that was what the plan was.
But that fell through when hedecided that he didn't want to
(02:56):
go.
So of course I went because Iwanted a better opportunity and
I wanted to give my child thebest life.
So you and BJ were pretty muchdone at that point?
For the most part.
We stills, we still, we were onthe outs, should I say, because
at that time I did not know whyhe made a commotion.
Oh, okay.
(03:16):
So you didn't know he was, Ididn't put all the pieces
together.
I didn't have time.
You just knew he didn't want togo.
And really the commotion wasjust to get himself out of it.
And that's fine.
Wow.
Maybe that was God doingsomething for me that I wasn't
gonna do for myself.
'cause I'm not a quitter, like Isaid, I'm gonna put my all in
and in it and fight for it.
Yeah.
(03:37):
Until there's no fight left.
So I moved to Macon.
We were there just a couplemonths and that's when Duncan
happened.
Okay.
Take a pause and tell me aboutyour grandparents and the.
The part that they played inyour life, were they a big part
of your life?
Were they, my mom's mom wasreally a big part of my life.
(03:57):
And we always went to mygrandparents on holidays and
some just Sundays.
My mom said that they alwayswent when she was really young.
Yeah.
And we did that quite often.
I had a great relationship withmy grandparents the ones that
owned the donut shop.
Yeah.
I believe my mom talked aboutthat.
And they were, your grandparentshad a really good marriage and
(04:18):
just They did.
Yeah.
Kinda a good example that Yeah.
And maybe that's also too why, Iguess I wanted that, that
lifelong partner and afriendship on fire.
'cause that's what real love is,wow.
Yeah.
And you saw that in yourgrandparents?
Oh, most definitely.
Now, as they got older, I thinkmy granddad got on my grandma's
(04:40):
nerves and she got on his nervesprobably.
But that's just'cause they wereolder and they'd been together
so long and hey, you're gettingon my nerves right now, but I
still love you.
That kind of thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They were definitely a big partof my life.
I remember staying the night onenight with my grandma Evelyn,
and we were making bananapudding and we didn't have the
(05:00):
right ingredients.
So we went to Walmart at themiddle of the night and we, I
ran in by myself'cause I was oldenough and got what we needed
and we went back home and madeit.
Wow.
And I remember leaving a notefrom my granddad and she called
him Tom, we'll be back Tom.
We went to Walmart.
Love you.
Something like that.
(05:21):
I had great memories.
And my grandma, Wanda, shealways picked me up from school
when I was in elementary becausemy mom worked.
Yeah.
And she always would pull up inher little green neon and she
worked at Carter's barbecue andshe always brought me a club so
I ate a club for snack.
Awesome.
Wow.
I have great memories with mygrandparents.
(05:41):
Yeah.
So they were like a positivestability.
Most definitely.
Especially when, I guess in thearea of relationships with when
you, because you saw your momjust have so many failed
relationships, but yourgrandparents were right.
I'd never seen my grandma or mygranddad with anyone else.
Now my mom's mom, that's alittle bit different, which my
(06:02):
mom talked about that when shedid her podcast her segment on
the podcast.
Yeah.
And maybe that's why my mom, shealso kinda maybe that's what she
saw, growing up.
And then her dad wasn't reallyaround, so maybe, she also, a
part of her just wanted, to beloved.
And then she had two kids andshe probably thought like, how I
(06:23):
think, but except for I justdon't act on it.
Yeah.
She probably wanted that familyfor us.
Yeah.
And I want that too, but I wantit for the right reasons.
Yeah.
I want someone, I want you wantto, I want God to send the right
person.
You don't wanna jump into it.
Exactly.
You want to make sure it'sright.
And right from the start,really.
(06:45):
Exactly.
Yeah.
So that's very important to me.
So when you went to Macon withHendricks, did Christie go with
you?
Or was it just you andHendricks?
No, she stayed there.
Okay.
So you and Hendricks are livingwith your aunt.
I guess started working withyour uncle.
I don't know exactly where mymom was staying at that time.
I wanna say that maybe her andJoe split up and I think maybe
she may have been staying withone of her really old friends.
(07:08):
Greg.
And then she also may have, Ithink she stayed with my grandma
Wanda, because she was she wassickly.
Yeah.
So she would go over there andhelp her.
Now, at this point in your life,like you loved your mom, but
were you guys, were you you Iguess we're a little, I think
she was doing her own thing.
And she was working at thatrestaurant and I was a new mom
(07:31):
and I was pregnant.
And I guess we, we just didn'tspend as much time together.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I don't really know why.
I can't really, I can't likepinpoint it.
Yeah.
I know that, I know that wespent time together, but it's
all, that's like a blur.
Yeah.
I don't really know why though.
(07:52):
So then then the whole worldfell apart.
Yeah, it did.
My mom got the call about mybrother and my grandma.
Me and Hendricks's dad were inan altercation.
I just hung up the phone withhim.
It was pretty late in the night.
I believe it was a Sunday.
(08:12):
Yes.
And my grandma Wanda called andshe was like, I need to speak to
Mimi.
I need to speak to Mimi, whichis my mom's sister, which is her
daughter.
And I was like, what's wrong?
What's wrong?
She wouldn't tell me.
And then I gave my phone to myaunt and I never figured out
what was wrong.
I just knew that I had to go toLia.
(08:33):
And I knew that my, I think I,it's really hard to say, but I
wanna say I knew that my brotherwas in an accident maybe.
I don't really know because allthat it's like my body went and
my body and my mind went throughautopilot.
Like airplane mode.
Yeah.
Do not disturb.
Everything's a really big blur.
(08:53):
But I do know recall, likegetting in the car with my aunt
and Hendricks and going to Lia.
We were going way over the speedlimit and I remember getting
there and the way that you comeinto Vidalia, there's two ways
you can come in.
The road that we always take isby the high school where the
railroad tracks are.
And all the way there I prayedfor my brother to, just keep
(09:18):
breathing.
So yeah, I guess I could saythat I thought that he was,
okay.
Or he was gonna be okay.
And when we come up to thatlittle split, you go straight or
you veer off to the right.
I saw all these lights at therailroad tracks and I knew then
that my brother was not okay.
I don't know how I knew that,but I knew that I could feel it
(09:38):
in my heart.
I could feel it in my stomach.
And I remember getting toTiffany's house and she's not
blood family, but she is familytoday.
It's my best friend, Ashley'solder sister and Ashley's been
my best friend since I wasthree.
So she is my best friend.
30 years.
Wow.
This is a very long time.
(10:00):
Long story short, we get to herhouse.
And I remember opening the doorand I remember having a Mountain
Dew, I think, in my hand.
And after that, I don'tremember.
Wow.
I think maybe Ashley told methat my brother was not okay.
Or maybe my mom, I don't reallyknow.
I remember falling out in theyard and feeling very not okay
(10:22):
after that.
I don't know who got Hendricksout the car.
I don't know anything.
Then I think I remember callingHendricks's dad and maybe he met
me to get Hendricks because Ineeded him to, I'm not sure.
But it all, that's really a bluruntil Duncan's funeral.
(10:43):
And the only thing I remember isthat I went to it and that I
brought Hendricks with mebecause I'm not really sure.
I just, he, BJ just wasn'treally there for me.
Yeah.
And of course my mom couldn'tbe, so all that happened.
That's hard.
So you were really having todeal with that on your own.
(11:06):
Yeah, and I guess I reallydidn't deal with it honestly.
That's why I go to therapytoday.
Because I haven't dealt with alot of things I didn't deal with
not really having my mom, not inthat time period, because my mom
didn't have herself, God heldher up in my opinion.
He kept her, here with us.
(11:26):
And I guess I just didn'tproperly grieve my brother.
I didn't, because I was a newmom.
A week after Duncan passed away,I pretty much became a full
blown single mom.
That's when everything reallywas official.
That's when I found outeverything about Hendricks's
dad.
And then me and my mom decidedthat's a lot all at once.
(11:47):
Yeah, it is.
Then me and my mom decided tomove in together.
We lived in the same apartmentcomplex that we lived in, that I
talked about.
Yeah.
And we lived right next door tothe apartment that me and my mom
and my brother lived in.
Wow.
Yeah.
And we lived there and she justdrank.
She drank every day.
It started out, just drinking inthe afternoons, which was not
(12:10):
completely abnormal to mebecause she did that.
Yeah.
Throughout my life when shewould come home from work, oh,
I'm just gonna drink a glass ofwine, or I'll just drink, a six
pack of ponies, which is littlebitty Bud Light bottles.
And I just didn't think anythingby it.
Then it became earlier andearlier, and then other things
happened.
(12:32):
She was not aware and that wasvery concerning.
So I didn't grieve because I wasdealing with a lot.
I was so worried about my momand I really didn't know how to
grieve.
And I feel like that my mom,because she was drinking most of
the time it was her son.
(12:54):
It was her son, and she lost himand it was that was it.
But in my mind, I'm like, we'rein the same boat.
We just got two different pairof shoes on.
Yeah.
He was my best friend.
He was my brother.
He was my lifelong best friendbut I couldn't compare my pain
to her pain is how I looked atit.
Yeah.
'cause I couldn't, because if Ilost Hendricks today, Mr.
(13:17):
Fear, I don't know how we wouldbe having a conversation right
now, so I didn't judge her.
I just was worried about her.
So worried about my mom.
I was, and I just didn't wannalose her.
And then when things got worseand she was in a relationship,
and then I felt like there wassome other things that maybe she
experimented with, then I reallythought, oh my God, I have to
(13:40):
protect Hendricks.
That can't be here, that can'tbe around him.
Yeah.
And I just pushed her away.
And I don't know if that was theright thing to do or the wrong
thing to do, because I was solost myself.
But I didn't turn to anything.
But I didn't turn to anything.
I didn't even turn to God.
My faith today is stronger thanit was then.
(14:04):
Yeah.
And I, I don't, I feel if I didturn to God, would he have
helped me, helped my mom sooneror, you know what, I have so
many what ifs, but I do knowthat everything that happened
super fast, but it felt likeforever and I felt like I was
always waiting for that call.
(14:25):
That something happened to yourmom.
To my mom.
Because we, I told her that shehad to go, I was like, you can't
stay here.
So many things had happened.
She had took my debit card and,then I started having to hide
things, like how much money Ihad.
And then it was like, so muchwas happening.
(14:46):
Yeah.
And I remember us getting into adisagreement one time and I left
and then I came home and therewas dishes broke everywhere.
And just things like that.
And I was like, okay.
Yeah.
That's when I was like, okay,you definitely you have to go.
Wow.
That cannot be around Hendricks.
Yeah.
And how old was Hendricks aboutat that time?
(15:06):
Not even a year.
Oh, okay.
A little over a year.
Yeah, a little over a year.
Over a year.
But because I wanna say likebefore I, I get ahead of myself
so backtracked before we evenmoved into the apartment, I
would say, because all thattakes time.
Like we got money from theinsurance and everything when
(15:28):
everything happened with Duncan.
But we were staying with Greg.
And I remember like Hendricks'sfirst birthday party, my mom
wasn't there.
She was up the night beforedrinking and she was somewhere
days before that.
And I don't know if she had itexperimented with something
(15:48):
outside of alcohol, but all Iknow is that when it was time to
go to Hendricks's birthdayparty, his first birthday party,
she was sweeping the kitchen andit was time to go to his first
birthday party and she didn'tcome.
And I came back and the partywas over with and she was so
upset that the bar that theparty was over with, she was
getting out the shower.
(16:09):
And I was like, the party's beenover with.
It was, I was so frustratedbecause it was like I couldn't
get her to just.
It was almost like I wanted justto be like, get a grip.
But it's like how can you saythat?
Yeah.
Because there's no way.
But it was like, I need you, iswhat I mean by that.
(16:30):
I need you here, even though mybrother is gone.
I need you, Hendricks need you.
He's your only grand baby.
Not that I need her to take careof me, but I need her.
And you need her as a part ofyour life.
Yeah.
That's my mom.
Yeah.
And just like going back to,childhood she's always been a
great mom, so it was completelydifferent for all those things
(16:51):
to be taking place.
And I just wanted my mom, I justwanted my mom back and I just
felt like the alcohol took thataway.
She was not the same person.
Wow.
And so you had to just push herout and she went into the
darkness and you just tried tomove on as best you could, can
a, avoid it, pretend like itwasn't there, except for when
(17:13):
she would call and she'd bereally upset, and then I would
get upset and I would say thingsthat I didn't mean because it
was like so many people wouldsay things that were taking
place and I don't even know ifthey were true or not.
They would tell you things aboutyour mom and about what was
going on.
Yeah.
Like they would call me, I sawyour mom here, I saw your mom
(17:35):
there.
I saw her do this.
And maybe some of those thingswere true.
'cause she, we do talk aboutthese things today.
Yeah.
And she's honest with me.
And, but that became like, itwas consuming.
So I had, I didn't sleep like itwas just me and Hendrix, just me
and him because we had our ownplace by this point.
(17:56):
I didn't wanna live with my auntand I just feel like I just went
through the motions every day.
Yeah.
But I, like I said a while back,I have health problems, so I
struggle and then I'm mentallystruggling.
'cause, I'm waiting for thatcall.
(18:17):
And then I'm a single mom andit's just my baby and me.
It was me and Hendricks from theage of one until five just me
and him.
Wow.
So that's, how'd you supportyourself through that time?
I worked at the college there.
I worked at middle Co, middleGeorgia College.
(18:37):
I was a chef there.
Oh.
And.
That was awesome.
I loved my job there.
I met some really awesome peoplethere.
One of my really close bestfriends today, she was my
executive chef.
Her name is Lana and we're stillfriends today.
Yeah.
And I got, and she was thatperson that was my outlet.
(18:59):
Like I got to go to her aboutlike my mom, like when people
would call and say things and,make me worry more about my mom.
'cause I didn't talk to her allthe time.
We didn't talk very often.
She would only call me randomly.
And usually it was really late.
And I don't know if it was whenshe was upset or if she was
intoxicated, because I can't seeher in person.
(19:20):
Yeah.
I can only hear her and she wasthat person for me.
Like I could let it all out.
And she was the one that told methat, I need to start doing
therapy.
So I started doing vul VultureVirtual Oh yeah.
Therapy.
Okay.
And that helped a little bit,but when my therapist resigned,
they didn't put me with anothertherapist.
(19:41):
So I only got to take care of alittle bit of, like therapy for
grieving and what I was goingthrough.
And then I didn't start therapyagain until just a couple weeks
ago.
And that's years later.
Wow.
'cause I've lived here foralmost two years.
Yeah.
Over two years.
The end of last month was twoyears.
(20:02):
Okay.
So really I feel like I've justtook care of Hendricks Yeah.
And focused on him andeverything else I just ignored.
Wow.
I just pretended like it wasn'tthere.
It was there in my head, but onthe outside.
Yeah.
So I just held it all in.
So when did when did you startto get to a better place just
(20:23):
for yourself and your own life?
Was it before your mom got herlife together or was it was your
mom getting her life together?
Something that helped you to Iwould say when my mom called me
and she came to Macon, Iremember her, my cousin went and
got her, brought her like wemet, something like that.
(20:44):
She ended up going to RiversEdge and I think she went to a
treatment place that was like aprivately place, so it wasn't
really the right place for her.
And so then she went back toRiver Edge and that's when she
got into House of Time.
And that's like running that,just short without putting a
bunch of details.
(21:05):
And when she got to House ofTime, that's when I started
focusing a little bit more onmyself.
Okay.
And that's because I knew my Soyou, you started to worry less
about what was gonna happen toher?
Yeah.
I knew that my mom was okay.
You felt like she was.
And that's a big part of what Istruggled with, is the fact
(21:26):
that, of losing my brother andthinking that I would lose my
mom.
Yeah.
And my grandma, she passed awayin the, in this timing period.
I had a dream that mygrandmother would pass away on
my brother's birthday and shedid.
Wow.
And I told my aunt that, I don'tknow if that was some, I don't
(21:47):
know the correct way to say thator how I even really feel about
it, but I know that I had adream about it.
And I told my aunt that, and shedid, she passed away on my
brother's birthday.
And I guess all these emotions,like when I knew my mom was
safe, I knew that it's like Isaw the light at the end of the
tunnel.
You could start to begin to dealwith things that were just Yeah.
(22:11):
Hidden in your heart and yourmind.
And I just talked to her, likeeverything was normal because
she was more herself.
'cause there was nothing mindaltering.
She wasn't losing her mindbecause of, even if she wasn't
drinking, being homeless orstaying places that are not
really safe, that right therewill drive you crazy.
(22:33):
I was talking to Miss Cynthia onthe way here and I was like,
there's no way that I could behomeless.
Not even any kind of substancethat just being homeless alone
would drive me in pain.
It would drive me like, I don'tknow how I could survive it.
Yeah.
Not knowing where you're gonnasleep, what's gonna happen next?
(22:54):
Is somebody gonna take the lastbit of your food, the last
bottle of water, anything.
My mom experienced all thosethings and that, that breaks my
heart, that all that time that Ididn't have a relationship with
her.
Those are the types of thingsthat she had to go through, and
that does break my heart becauseit's I, I look back and I'm
(23:16):
like, could I have done more?
But I didn't even know where tostart.
It's I just, that's like when Isaid, like when I just would be
like, it's like I just wanted tobe like, can it just all go
away?
Yeah.
Not so you're trying to holdyour own life together.
Yeah.
You have no idea how to Yeah.
Help your mom.
I didn't.
I didn't, I just wanted, Iwanted my brother to be back and
(23:38):
I wanted my mom to be okay.
That's how I felt abouteverything that, all that, all
those years of our life.
And it's like now, life today isgreat, except for that my
brother lives within us.
I know that he is my guardianangel, and I know that he must
have whispered something in mybrother's, in my son's ear,
(24:00):
because my son acts just likehim.
Hey, give them a hard time downthere or something.
Because he acts so much likehim.
He even looks like him.
And I just know that I'mthankful for life today, but
looking back, that was a longroad.
Yeah.
Wow.
(24:21):
I'm thankful to have my mom.
It it's sobering to me, justhits me that even though you
weren't the one that was in thedrinking and the addiction and
the drugs and the homelessnessit, it just affected you so
much.
It just hit you so hard withthe, it mentally just kinda, it
just made me not, it made meshut down.
(24:45):
It made me not deal withanything.
And that's not healthy.
Yeah.
It's like you can't pretendthings like that don't exist
when they Right there.
Yeah.
But you didn't know what to doand just became very consuming.
Yeah.
Tell me about your relationshipwith the Lord and how that.
(25:06):
Began and came to flourish.
And where you are now with him?
I've always had a relationshipwith God.
I've always been a part ofchurch.
Even when my mom worked at nightI used to be a part of a youth
group and I was even part of thedrama team.
Yeah.
We had on a little trip and wecompeted against all these other
(25:27):
churches that wow.
Had a drama team.
So I've always been a part ofchurch and if my mom couldn't
take us, the band, we had ayouth van.
Our youth pastor would come andget us, like from my house.
Some Saturdays he would come andget us and take us to McDonald's
for breakfast.
I was always in the center ofchurch.
(25:47):
Yeah.
And that happened from a youngage.
I used to go with my grandma andmy granddad he was my step
granddad, but that's what I knewas my granddad.
Yeah.
That's my mom's stepdad.
So that was, that was childhood.
I mean up to probably middleschool, pretty much, we didn't
go to church as often, but whenmy mom married Chris, we were
(26:10):
members at a really big churchthere and we went every Sunday.
It started out as him just beinglike the patrol person that let
everybody in and out in thefirst service, and then we would
go to second service and hewould join us.
Yeah.
So we always, it was always apart of my life.
I would say.
Maybe college, not so much.
Of course I prayed, I say thesame prayer I've always said all
(26:32):
my life even with my mom.
And of course I add, more thingsto it now that I'm older.
But I've always been involved inchurch but you don't have to go
to church, in my opinion, tohave relationship with God.
But I would feel like I'vealways had faith and knew there
was a God.
It definitely fell very far off,away, whatever word to describe
(26:58):
it, when everything happenedwith my brother.
Yeah.
I did not turn to God.
I questioned God.
I wanted to know why, and then Iwanted to know so many different
things.
I wanted to know, why did my momlose her?
Only other child, she wentthrough so many hospital stays
with me thinking she was gonnalose me, because there was a
(27:20):
doctors that would come in andliterally all of them would
scratch their head and be like,I don't know what else to do.
My mom experiencing that withme.
And then a couple years later,literally it just happening like
that.
So I just did not understand andI I didn't pray as often.
(27:41):
The only time I really did is toprotect Hendricks and to please
not take my mom.
And then I moved here.
And what brought you here toColumbus?
My mom.
Okay.
When she started doing better?
Yeah.
I always wanted to be close tomy mom.
She's my best friend.
(28:02):
She's always been my bestfriend.
And when I knew that she, my momwas back, my real, like the
person that's on the inside wasback on the outside.
I wanted to be close to her.
Yeah.
And nothing could come betweenus.
And even more so today, becauseour relationship is so much
stronger, just like myrelationship with God is so much
(28:25):
stronger because without God, wewould not be sitting here right
now.
Without God, I would not have mymom.
And without God, I would nothave my son.
And I know that.
I know that.
And even more so without God, Iwouldn't be sitting here yeah.
Because of people don't make itfrom listeria.
(28:48):
If you ever are interested, lookit up, look some things up about
it.
And then a lot of people thatare told that they can't have
kids, don't have kids, and a lotof people in any type of
addiction don't make it out butmy mom did.
Yeah.
And she's better than I've everseen.
She's one amazing woman.
(29:11):
She is, I hope, and I tell herthis all the time.
She says, you are.
You already are.
But I hope one day I'm at leasthalf the woman she is today.
Wow.
Because my mom's relationshipwith God is inspiring for me.
That's awesome.
And she, we talked about it.
She said, when I got to thehouse of time, it was like I was
(29:33):
a newborn in faith with Godagain she said, and now I'm like
a toddler.
And I was like I'm like anewborn all over again.
And it made sense.
Yeah.
Like that logic made sensebecause sometimes people do fall
back in faith when things happenin life.
Does it make it right?
No.
No.
That's not what I'm saying.
(29:53):
But it happens.
Yeah.
But what is even better is whenhe walks with you, even through
all that, he holds your hand andthen he lets your hand go and
just walks behind you.
When you get back to that fullfaith, like I know God has got
me every single day and I knowthat he has my mom every single
(30:16):
day.
It's so beautiful.
It's just, it's amazing.
It is very beautiful and Iusually am at church every
Sunday and if I'm not, because Idon't feel that great because
mornings are pretty rough for mebecause of my health.
Because I suffer from thedigestive issues and then I have
severe vitamin deficiencies.
(30:36):
So mornings I feel pretty weak.
But if I don't make it tochurch, then I try really hard
to watch it on Facebook.
'cause I love my church.
Yeah.
And we got bounded there fromone of my mom's friends in AA
and he's like family.
Wow.
And really, honestly, everybodyhere in Columbus that I have
(30:57):
become to know that is a part ofmy mom's recovery.
That's her family.
And they're my family too.
They are awesome.
That's so awesome.
What church do you guys go to?
We go to cityscape.
Great church, A super fastgrowing church.
I love it.
Wow.
Yeah.
I love it.
I love everything about it.
(31:18):
Pastor Jonathan, he is amazing.
I don't know how he preaches theword that the way that he does
it is literally like, God justwrites it down on a piece of
paper for him and he's this iswhat you give to them today.
That's awesome.
And the children's ministrythere.
It's cityscape kids.
(31:39):
They're amazing.
My kids love my kids.
My son loves it and he loves itthere with all the kids.
They did a Christmas musical.
That was the first one he everdid.
Yeah.
That was beautiful.
They were all dressed up likeangels.
Wow.
And it looked so beautiful.
Wow.
You have a, an amazing story andthank you so much for sharing it
(32:03):
for just the hardships and thedarkness and the difficulty and
the light at the end and thebeauty and the transformation
that God has done and just he'sgot great plans for your future
and for Hendricks's future.
I'm excited to, to see whatGod's gonna do.
I definitely would say so.
I, if I could give any advice toanybody that is a child of
(32:27):
someone that is inactiveaddiction.
Or recovery?
I would say just be patient andkeep your faith yeah.
'cause there is light at the endof the tunnel.
Wow.
That's good advice.
Not always easy.
No, most definitely not.
cause it is a struggle.
(32:48):
It is.
But it can happen.
Yeah.
And that's because of God.
He makes a way.
Yeah.
Any other last thoughts or wordsof advice or things that you'd
like to share?
I don't really I don't think soI don't think so do you have any
other questions for me?
So now just I would imagine thatyou have hope whereas maybe
(33:12):
before you didn't have that andjust the I guess so.
I used to watch this, I don'tknow if this is the right like
analogy that I'm looking for.
I.
I used to watch this movie, hopeFloats.
It's one of my favorite movies.
It's a love story, but at theend of the movie, I remember the
(33:32):
mom telling the daughter,beginnings are scary.
Endings are some kind, sometimessad, but it's the middle that
counts the most and I feel likeI'm in the middle right now.
Yeah.
And, but it's like I, I alreadywent through the beginning and
the end and my middle came now.
(33:53):
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it's like the beginningof everything like that happened
was most definitely scary.
And then I guess the ending ofeverything, like with my brother
and all that, and now this is mymiddle because it's like my mom
(34:13):
does that.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like my mom today, like it's ormaybe it was the, we're going
back to the middle, should Isay?
I don't know how to explain it,but it's today things are just
so different, even on a bad day.
It's like you found so manythings Yeah.
In your life to be grateful for.
It's I think it's a greatanalogy because it makes me
(34:36):
think of how similar it was.
You could think of Jesus Yeah.
The rough beginnings that hehad.
Yeah.
And then the middle of his lifeand the ministry and the end,
like he died at the end.
Yeah.
But that wasn't the end.
'cause he rose back to life.
And so that's it's like he wentback to the middle.
And it's, and now it's the bestever.
(35:00):
Wow.
That's a good, exactly what yousaid.
It made sense in my head and itcame out and then it was like, I
don't want everybody listeningto be like, wait a minute, what?
But in my mind I'm just like,the beginning of all that was so
scary.
The unknown, because I didn'tknow going to Vidalia about my
(35:20):
brother and all that.
And then it's like the end oflosing, that was the end.
Like how you say, Jesus died.
And unfortunately my brother,he, I don't like to say that,
but he died.
And I guess like the middle partis now for me because I had my
mom and I really didn't think I,that I would ever have what I
(35:44):
have today.
That life would be as great asit is today.
Yeah.
That is what we celebrate.
With Easter coming up in what, aweek and a half?
I know.
The new life, the resurrection,the, yeah, the rebirth that
comes because Jesus rose some ofthe dead.
I think this is the first Easterthat I'm like really excited
(36:06):
for.
And it's because Easter's alwaysbeen really hard for me because
Easter was the last holidaysspent with my brother.
And Hendricks was just a baby.
And I guess all the otherEasters in between, I didn't
have my mom and then the firstone that we were here, it was a
(36:27):
good Easter, but I guess like myrelationship with God today
wasn't it wasn't like that Yeah.
Last Easter.
Yeah.
So it's I like how you justexplained all that.
I'm like, wow, that's exactlyhow I look at all of this.
And I'm thankful that God, roseagain and that, we have this
(36:52):
life today and that this here onearth is just temporary.
Yeah.
And that we're gonna.
We're gonna rise with him.
Yeah.
If we get to where we're going.
Yeah.
There is there is a greatereternity than we can even
imagine.
Yeah.
And I like Earth but I can'twait till we get to that day.
I agree with you.
(37:13):
He'll as long and we're gonnaget to know everybody, right?
Yeah.
From what it says.
Yeah.
It'll be wonderful.
Somehow, some way we're gonnaknow, like who each person is.
If I never see you again, I'llsee you then.
Yes.
Yeah.
Because of Jesus.
Yeah.
And I wanna take a second tosay, if there's anybody
listening to this podcastepisode that has never trusted
Jesus as their savior, I wannaencourage you to think about
(37:35):
that and to explore what theBible has to say about how much
God loves us and how Jesus gavehis life and how he rose again,
so that we can be free, we canbe free from the bondage of sin
and it's such a wonderful thing.
It is unexplainable, therelationship with Jesus and the
(37:55):
relationship that he offers usto have with the Lord.
There's nothing like it.
If you're lost, if you'rehopeless, if you're struggling
and you don't know what to doturn to Jesus.
reach out to us here at SafeHouse.
The beautiful.
Transformation that Jesus hasbrought in Christy's life and in
(38:16):
Jasmine's life that can be yoursif you just accept it in Jesus
jasmine, anything else you wantto add before I close the
center?
Word of prayer?
No, I just wanna thank you foryour time and thank you for
everybody out there listening.
Awesome.
Let's pray.
Father, thank you for yourgrace.
(38:36):
Thank you for your mercy.
Thank you for Jasmine.
Thank you that you love her andthat you are there for her.
Always thank you for Christy andfor what you've done to just
give her such a vibrant,wonderful, new life and for how
she is such a wonderful part ofJasmine's life again and
(38:59):
hendricks's life, Lord.
Wow.
I think about what you haveplanned for Hendricks, and I
just pray your blessing uponhim.
I pray your presence in hislife.
I pray your protection over himand your face to shine upon him.
We love you and thank you foryour goodness.
In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen.
Amen.
We look forward to being with you again next week
(39:20):
as we share another testimonyabout the power and the goodness
of God to change lives throughSafe House Ministries.
if you are someone listening tothis podcast that loves to hear
these stories of the greatthings that God is doing in
changing people's lives for thebetter, and if you would like to
be a part of that work, pleasereach out to us You can reach us
(39:41):
at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus,Georgia, 31,904.
You can call us at seven oh sixthree two two.
3 7, 7 3, or you can email us atinfo@safehouse-ministries.com.
Microphone (Samson Q2U Mi (39:57):
Thank you so much for being with us
this week for the renew restoreand rejoice podcast of safe
house ministries, we pray thatGod will bless you this week.
And we look forward to havingyou back with us again next week
for a new episode.
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