Divorce and then Down the Rabbit Hole: Keir Sutton's Story (Part 1)

Keir is soft spoken, but he's had a hard story.  His life fell apart after a simple decision one Friday night to buy a six pack of beer...

Episode Transcript

Phil (00:00):
it started with alcohol, then back to marijuana and then,
you know, other, other drugs aswell.
Wow.
Associates.
People that, you know, that Inormally wouldn't have hung out
with.
Uh uh, which ended up leading tome losing my place.
Going from your home, your placeof residence?
My friend to friend until thatran out.
Therefore about a year I wasliterally homeless, That went

(00:22):
on, um, Lost Hope.
And then did you lose connectionwith your kids at that point?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Again, they'd passed me walkingon the road.
I knew it was them'cause it wasthe cars that I got'em, and it
was pretty embarrassing.
Ugh.
You know, it was prettyembarrassing.
they usually didn't.
Stop or anything, they just,they ignored going, knew it was
me, and they kept going.
I'd see'em look in the rear viewmirror and Wow.

(00:43):
And just keep going.
Several times I'd reach out to'em, the phone stopped.
They, you know, they stopanswering phones.
I mean, you know, uh, that'swhat happens.
Yeah.
And I guess that would tend todrive you deeper into the drugs
and the alcohol and it would,you know, uh, so you lose hope
and then you lose your sense ofdirection and, uh, purpose then
leaves.
Yeah.

(01:03):
And that's a, it's just areally, that's a really godawful
feeling, you know, when thathappens.

Phil Shuler (01:09):
HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the
Safe House Ministries podcast,where we share stories of the
power of God to change livesthrough Safe House Ministries.
Safe House Ministries is basedout of Columbus, Georgia, and we
are a ministry that exists tolove and serve people who have
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I'm your host, Phil Shuler, theDirector of Development for Safe

(01:31):
House Ministries here inColumbus, Georgia.
Safe House serves over 1, 100people each month as they
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Over 300 hot meals every day,free clothing, and so much more.

(01:52):
One of the most incredibleservices that Safe House
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Almost 100 percent ofindividuals staying in our
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And 68 percent of individualswho stay at least one night with

(02:13):
us End up finding work andmoving into their own home.
Thank you for being with ustoday and listening to our
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We hope you enjoy this week'sepisode.

Phil (02:21):
Hello and welcome to the Safe House Ministries, renew
Restore, rejoice podcast.
Today I have somebody that Ihave, just recently met Keir
Sutton.
And, already he's made a reallypositive impression on me and I
am excited to hear his story.
Keir.
Thank you for being here.

none (02:39):
Well, thank you for having me.
I certainly do appreciate it.
It's a wonderful day.
Uh, Stephanie.

Phil (02:44):
Speaks very highly of you.
Well, she's a great person.
I've known her a little whilesince I've been in Columbus,
maybe about three years.
Okay.
Awesome.
Does a lot of really, reallygood work over at the Safe
House.
And, uh, she does know all forthe good, all for the good and
all for the people.
She's a character too.
She, she's full of personality.
She's a country character.
She's full of life.
And she is?

(03:04):
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
She's awesome.
Yeah, she's, I know her brotherreal well.
Uh, that's how her and I met.
So awesome.
Mm-hmm.
Keir, kicking us off, if you hadto pick one word that might best
describe you, what would thatword be?
Redeemed.
Completely.
That is an amazing word.
And how do you mean when you,what do you mean when you say
that?
It's, uh, you know, um, I'm 55so I'm, I'm in my fourth quarter

(03:28):
and, uh, you know, I, someonesaid to me, uh, a while back my
sister, you know, you want bethe, uh, the Peter.
And your story.
And that's what I've strived todo with the help of God.
And quite a few other peoplethat have been in my corner and
on my side we're pulling it off.
Uh, yeah, I would say redeemed.
Awesome.
I can't think of enough wordsthat go along that branch off

(03:50):
with that one that coulddescribe me at the time in my
life right now, where I'm attoday, where my feet are.
I love it.
Awesome.
Uh, I don't know much of yourstory, but Stephanie says it's a
pretty amazing story.
start from the beginning, youknow, grow, where'd you grow up
and what was home life likegrowing up?
Well, um, I was born in Miami,Florida.
My mom and dad, uh, have bothpassed, but, uh, Kenneth and

(04:12):
Janie Sutton, uh, I've got, uh,a bunch of older brothers and
the oldest is a sister.
Uh, how many total?
There's five of us.
Fantastic.
There's five of us.
And, uh, I'm the youngest ofcourse.
Ah, so, uh, we, uh, we traveledquite a bit.
Uh, like I said, we were born inmy, I was born in my, we were
all born in Miami, but, uh, myfather, he had a traveling sales

(04:34):
job, worked for a company calledRos in Purina.
So we moved to the Carolinas allover Florida and then to the
Carolinas, both north and south.
Moved over to, uh, Denver,Colorado in the late 70, mid
seventies, uh, 76, 77.
Yeah.
And then from there, uh, I thinkit was the, the month that Mount
St.

(04:54):
Helen's erupted.
We, uh, we moved to Houston,Texas.
So, um, growing up in Houstonwas a little different.
That was quite a, quite a cityto grow up in.
We were inner city.
I.
Lot of different people, lot ofdifferent nationalities met, a
bunch of different schools.
Never went to one school morethan a year.
Wow, you really did try.

(05:15):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it shift around a lot.
But And so, uh, for the mostpart, it, all of that was done
traveling in a car.
So we gotta see a lot of thecountryside.
Moved to Mobile, Alabama, backto Houston, Phoenix, Arizona.
Yeah.
From Phoenix, back to Houston.
To Atlanta.
Uh, so it was quite a feattraveling all over the place,
getting to see it out of the,out of the car.

(05:37):
A lot of different places.
Um, I'd say Kentucky wasprobably the coolest, waking up
and, uh, seeing the cloudslaying on the blue grass.
All right.
It was really pretty.
The Rockies were really neatgrowing up, learning to ski
there.
Wow.
So it sounds like a pretty goodchildhood.
I mean, I'm sure there werechallenges with, there were kind
of not being able to.
Maintain roots and I guessfriends even.

(05:58):
Right.
You kinda had to constantlysaying bye, but then again,
meeting new people.
Yeah.
You know?
So, uh, probably helped, helpedto shape your personality.
It certainly did.
It certainly did.
I got, got into sales early on,uh, which is what my father did,
uh, worked for the HoustonChronicle, the Arizona Republic.
Okay.
So, so good.
Like you were pretty solid,pretty, no crazy trouble as a

(06:20):
kid.
Um, in my teens, yes.
So growing up as a teenager, youknow, I, uh, experimented with
different things.
Got a little bit of trouble.
Okay.
You know, like, uh, substances,drugs and things.
Alcohol marijuana.
Yeah.
Stuff like that.
Uh, it wasn't until later on,maybe in my early twenties that
I, you know, the alcohol, youknow, DUIs getting pulled over,

(06:40):
public intoxication, stuff likethat started getting worse.
It it, and it did.
Yeah.
It, it certainly did.
Um.
I'm not gonna do that stuffagain.
Never gonna happen again.
But it did.
Yeah.
You know, for the most part, uh,yeah.
So many of us get stuck inthose, those cycles of bad
choices, which lead to badconsequences and then telling

(07:01):
ourselves, I hate this.
I'm not doing this.
You know, you know, it just sinin general a lot, times's, it's
a vicious cycle that you do getcaught up in things of this
world, yeah.
Um, a caral mine has a hard timeaccepting that stuff as it is,
and then being able to makecorrect decisions on it, yeah.
A lot of people's decisions arebased on fear, yeah.

(07:22):
For different reasons.
So were you, uh, single in yourtwenties then, or, uh, sure.
Uh, I was single in sales, uh,just navigating, so yeah, I, I
went from, uh, working for thenewspapers Houston Chronicle,
the Arizona Republic.
To selling cars um, wow.
Chev Chevrolets for about 17, 18years.

(07:43):
Yeah.
I got into a, so I, so I had myfirst marriage at 27.
Okay.
And, uh, that lasted quite awhile.
We were married, uh, together 17years, married, uh, 13.
Wow.
Had two children.
Abby and Kara.
They're my daughters, bothredheaded girls.
Awesome.
Kara's, uh, she's gonna be 21,uh, Monday, uh, Abby's 24, and

(08:05):
she's giving me my firstgranddaughter.
Yay.
Congratulations on that.
Well, thank, I appreciate Howold is the granddaughter?
The granddaughter's, uh, may,she was a year in May.
Fantastic.
Sure.
Uh, I saw her just they gave mea surprise visit the other
morning.
They, uh, texted, they were ontheir way back from Fort Walton
Beach and, uh, decided to stophere in Columbus to see me for a
few hours.
Awesome.
So we went down to the, um, uh,river walk and had some lunch

(08:27):
and visited for quite a while.
So that was really a surprise.
That was great for me.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I was really excited.
That's really awesome.
It was a good, uh, good Sundayto Ms.
Church over it, but it was, youknow, a good cause.
Wow.
Uh, the youngest daughter, uh,Kara, uh, she does real well,
you know, finish school and all,and, uh, she works about 3D.
She does, she has about threedifferent things she does for a

(08:47):
living, uh, that she reallyenjoys to do so well.
Good.
Yeah, so I'm really proud ofher.
So that, that seven 17 yearstogether, 13 years being
married.
Mm-hmm.
and you said it was pretty good,at least maybe for a while.
Yeah.
Were you did the alcohol.
Become a challenge trying to,well, it didn't, and, and I
actually got sober for like 15years.
Wow.

(09:07):
You know, altogether.
Okay.
Through that divorce and, uh,it, it just didn't, it just
didn't work out.
Yeah.
Uh, the marriage, it justdidn't, it didn't.
And, uh, the girls, uh, and I,you know, we kept our
relationship and all but, uh, alittle later on mid forties I
would have gotten back intoalcohol and drugs.
Yeah.
But that was right after asecond marriage.

(09:30):
Oh, wow.
So I had a little boy, his nameis Cross, he's 14 now.
His mother and I, uh, we bothmet in some recovery and then
that, um, was Did you meet whileyou were still married before?
No.
So you had No.
Okay.
So this was.
You had gotten divorced andthat's when you started to get
clean and I I was still clean.
Okay.
Okay.

(09:51):
But you had just been going overtime to the recovery programs?
That's right.
Okay.
That's right.
Gotcha.
Again, with his mother and Ihad, it just didn't work out.
Okay.
She's from Athens.
I was, I'm from northeastGeorgia.
Yeah.
So for the most part, uh, afterthat second marriage, I had lost
my mom, my dad, I relapsed.
Oh.
And, uh, alcohol.

(10:12):
Wow.
So the, the heartache andemotional trauma of the marriage
breaking up and you lost both ofyour parents around it?
No, my, my, my father first, helived with me.
Wow.
Uh, knew that was gonna happen.
And then.
About eight months later, my momtook her life.
And how, how much of a totaltimeframe between the marriage,
divorce, and then the, yourparents died?

(10:32):
Like, was that a two yearperiod?
Did all of that happen Four yearperiod when all of that happened
and that was, that was just toomuch.
So from 2009, my first divorceuntil 2016, I was still sober.
Okay.
There was a second marriage, momand dad passed.
And then, you know, one day Ijust, I I, I made a clear deci,
I, I stopped and got a six packof beer, do you remember that

(10:53):
moment?
I, I do.
I like, it was yesterday.
I, what sounds Nothing happened.
Uh, went home and in fact, Ididn't even finish that six pack
of beer, but that very nextFriday I did the same thing.
That night I got a DUI.
Wow.
So take a second.
And is there anything that youcan remember about that moment
that.
You might be able to share thatcould help maybe be a, a word of

(11:14):
caution to someone else.
Like it, this was somethinggoing on in your heart, in your
mind that maybe was a, lookingback, was a danger signal that
maybe it something that alsocould have helped you not make
that choice to buy that sixpack, that first six pack.
Yeah.
So over the course of those fewyears there, divorce mom and
dad, and a lot of other thingsgoing on with the children, not

(11:38):
being under the same roof.
A lot was building up inside ofme.
And I didn't speak about it, Ididn't talk to anybody.
I didn't confide in anybody.
You know, I acted out in waysthat I shouldn't have.
And, uh, you know, I, I thinkthat was a big, that was a big
part.
Yeah.
I, I didn't share with anybody.
I didn't, I didn't getcounseling, I didn't confide, I

(11:59):
didn't pray.
I didn't go.
I didn't go to church at thattime, you know, I mean, none of
that stuff you just felt like itwas available to me.
Yeah.
You're just handling everythingon your own, keeping it inside.
And then it kind of, so, um,came to a, I guess maybe a, a
point where it was just too muchand you're like like what's a
thought that went in your head?
You know what, I've got a lotgoing on.
Lemme just get a six pack.
This couldn't hurt.
Yeah.
This couldn't hurt.

(12:20):
Things are bad enough, thisain't gonna make it any worse.
Sure.
Wow.
Was a short escape.
One week later did the samething, although nothing happened
that first time.
The very next week I went samestore.
I got the same six pack and gota DUI that night.
And from that point I had adownward spiral that was
actually really, reallyhorrific.

(12:40):
Wow.
I lost a lot, you know, thesecond DUI, I couldn't work at
the dealership no more, so youimmediately lost, lost your job
at the dealership after that?
Yeah.
The second DUI you said?
I'm sorry.
The second week, that first DUI,right?
That first, yeah.
Right.
So a long time Keirer.
And it led to, did that send youspiraling loss of the job?
It did.
Drinking more and it, it, itreally didn't, and I'm in a
small town.

(13:00):
Everybody knew my name.
Where were you at this point?
Uh, Northeast Georgia.
Okay.
Royston.
Hartwell.
Okay.
Lake Hartwell area.
Wow.
So, so everybody could see thebeginning of the spiral, right.
My daughters would call and say,dad, you're in the paper.
You're in the paper.
Yeah, in the paper.
Like criminal, like, well,anytime that happens, A DUI or

(13:23):
it's, um, I think it's calledThe Bad and the Busted, so Oh,
wow.
Yeah.
In small towns they publicizeit.
Yeah.
Wow.
So you really.
Embarrassment.
Chances of getting any otherjobs of Right.
Embarrassment, shame, guilt,humiliation, all that kicked in.
Ugh.
You know, and, and, you know,uh, I just kept on, things got
worse.
I started doing other things,uh, other substances.

(13:45):
Wow.
So the alcohol led to drugs andlike hard substances?
Yes, sir.
Or it started with alcohol, thenback to marijuana and then, you
know, other, other drugs aswell.
Wow.
Associates.
People that, you know, that Inormally wouldn't have hung out
with.
Uh uh, which ended up leading tome losing my place.
Going from your home, your placeof residence?

(14:07):
My friend to friend until thatran out.
Therefore about a year I wasliterally homeless, just living.
Where'd you sleep?
Like just on a bench or?
I, I've slept on a bench.
I've had a tent in the woods.
Yeah.
Just like the people you seehere.
Yeah.
Walking around.
That went on for a little over ayear.
Wow.
I mean, my daughters would passme in.
The cars still addicted to whatsubstances at that point?

(14:30):
Uh, methamphetamines.
Wow.
Yeah.
How did you make money?
Or did you make money?
Like how did you, because youwould have to have at least some
money, I guess, to even buy thedrugs.
Sure.
And, and for the most part, uh,it wasn't anything illegal.
I was in sales for quite a whileand knew enough people in the
car business to where I could,what they call curb cars for
different people sell theirvehicles.

(14:51):
Yeah.
And they'd, they'd pay me, youknow, so you would find just
someone in the public that wouldsell their cars to, uh, or
somebody that I already.
You know that to sell their carto the dealership, uh, or to an
individual.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
So you would just kind of brokerdeals.
That's right.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Help people sell their cars andhelp others find cars.
Mm-hmm.
That's correct.
That went on, um, Lost Hope.

(15:13):
And then did you lose connectionwith your kids at that point?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Again, they'd passed me walkingon the road.
I knew it was them'cause it wasthe cars that I got'em, and it
was pretty embarrassing.
Ugh.
You know, it was prettyembarrassing.
Did you find yourself trying tolike hide and, uh, no.
No, I didn't do any of that.
There is a lot of isolation inaddiction.
Yeah.
But as far as, uh, going fromone place to the next, yeah.

(15:35):
I mean, I wasn't hiding.
Yeah.
But like when you saw your kids,did you Yeah.
Well, uh, they usually didn't.
Stop or anything, they just,they ignored going, knew it was
me, and they kept going.
I'd see'em look in the rear viewmirror and Wow.
And just keep going.
Several times I'd reach out to'em, the phone stopped.
They, you know, they stopanswering phones.
I mean, you know, uh, that'swhat happens.
Yeah.
And I guess that would tend todrive you deeper into the drugs

(15:59):
and the alcohol and it would,you know, uh, so you lose hope
and then you lose your sense ofdirection and, uh, purpose then
leaves.
Yeah.
And that's a, it's just areally, that's a really godawful
feeling, you know, when thathappens.
Yeah.
God has a way to make a way, youknow?
So it was about a year of over ayear being home, a little over a

(16:20):
year, just living in a tent on abench, wherever you could just
couch to couch scrounging food,wherever you could find it.
That's right.
Eating when I could, you know.
So, um, did, so you never doveinto any other serious kind of
criminal things?
No.
Okay.
No, I didn't Selling or anythinglike that?
No.
No.
I didn't.
Just broke into car deals to payfor your personal habit.

(16:42):
Wow.
That went on for a little over ayear and, uh, I had a friend of
mine, she was tired of me comingby her house, so she got me a
motel room one night with thisother guy, and, uh, it was
rather late at night.
I'd taken a shower, got outtathe shower, and I knew in my
heart something was either gonnahappen something I had a real
doomed feeling.

(17:02):
And that is the end of part oneof Care's Story.
He has such an amazing story andyou'll find that his recovery
and restoration is equallyamazing.
So come back next week and hearthe continuation of care story.
Thanks so much for being with usthis week.
God bless you.

06-21-23 SAFEHOUSE-CH2 (17:23):
We look forward to being with you again
next week as we share anothertestimony about the power and
the goodness of God to changelives through Safe House
Ministries.
if you are someone listening tothis podcast that loves to hear
these stories of the greatthings that God is doing in
changing people's lives for thebetter, and if you would like to
be a part of that work, pleasereach out to us You can reach us

(17:46):
at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus,Georgia, 31,904.
You can call us at seven oh sixthree two two.
3 7, 7 3, or you can email us [e-mail].

Microphone (Samson Q2U Mi (18:01):
Thank you so much for being with us
this week for the renew restoreand rejoice podcast of safe
house ministries, we pray thatGod will bless you this week.
And we look forward to havingyou back with us again next week
for a new episode.