Jasmine shares what life was like growing up with a Mom who was an addict. One of the craziest times of her life was when she was 17 and working in a bar and her mom would embarrass her by coming to the same bar and getting totally wasted. Jasmine has a perspective that is so helpful for understanding what so many people live with growing up, a perspective that should help those who have had a more advantageous upbringing learn how important it is to show compassion instead of condemnation for others who are often simply doing the best they can do with the cards they've been dealt.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Did that begin to put a riftbetween you guys?
Yes it did, because throughoutmy life I was always really
close to my mom.
Like super close.
And I guess it just started, Istarted building up walls
because it was like it wasn't amother daughter relationship
anymore.
(00:21):
It was, but it wasn't, and thenit made me feel like I, If I
brought it up the next day, itwas it was a problem, but it was
something that needed to betalked about.
Yeah.
Because it affected me.
Yeah.
But if it was talked about it, Ihad to pick and I felt like I
had to pick and choose what Iwould say, so I wouldn't upset
(00:43):
her and really, I don't thinkthat it was so much that I would
upset her.
I think she would just getdefensive because it really hurt
her feelings, probably.
Because I know that deep down mymom loved us, and tho those
actions and the words that weresaid wasn't really her.
I know that it was because shewas under the influence.
Phil Shuler (01:05):
HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the
Safe House Ministries podcast,where we share stories of the
power of God to change livesthrough Safe House Ministries.
Safe House Ministries is basedout of Columbus, Georgia, and we
are a ministry that exists tolove and serve people who have
been affected by addiction,homelessness, and incarceration.
I'm your host, Phil Shuler, theDirector of Development for Safe
(01:27):
House Ministries here inColumbus, Georgia.
Safe House serves over 1, 100people each month as they
transition back into ourcommunity.
Safe House provides an abundanceof services including 213 beds
for homeless individuals andfamilies, case management for
obtaining job skills and longterm employment.
Over 300 hot meals every day,free clothing, and so much more.
(01:48):
One of the most incredibleservices that Safe House
provides is our free 9 12 monthintensive outpatient substance
abuse program, which is statelicensed, CARF accredited, and
has no wait list.
Almost 100 percent ofindividuals staying in our
shelters who follow our threephase program become fully
employed within a few months.
And 68 percent of individualswho stay at least one night with
(02:09):
us End up finding work andmoving into their own home.
Thank you for being with ustoday and listening to our
podcast.
We hope you enjoy this week'sepisode.
hello and welcome to our podcastepisode this morning.
This morning we've got a specialtreat, something that's a little
different than the usual podcastformat.
Most of the time, theinterviewees that I have that
(02:30):
come on share their amazingstories of how they themselves
went through addiction andhomelessness and just tragedy
and darkness, and how the Lordgot a hold of them and turned
their life around.
But today I have someone,Jasmine, who grew up with a mom
that went through darkness andaddiction, and Jasmine is here
(02:55):
to share how that affected herand what that did in her life,
and to give us a perspectivethat I think will help in so
many ways.
Jasmine, thanks for being here.
Thank you.
I'm super excited.
When I think about things that Iwent through throughout my life,
it is emotional, so I'm gonnaprepare myself for that.
(03:16):
It's okay.
Yeah.
It's okay to be emotional.
I'm grateful that you are hereand willing to share some things
that I know will be a greatencouragement and a help to a
lot of people.
I hope so.
I really do.
The reality is that there are somany people that are living with
(03:38):
a loved one who is in addictionor in homelessness.
And it's a rough place to be.
I look at it in so manydifferent perspectives today,
and I really have always had avery open heart to anyone.
I've never judged anybody.
I was that person in school.
Wow.
Friends with everybody.
(03:59):
Yeah.
It didn't matter, if you worethe same brand as, this person
or that person.
But one thing for sure, I feelas far as someone in addiction
or even, recovering today, theydon't just wake up one day and
say, Hey, I, I wanna do this.
I wanna be homeless.
I wanna be strung out on, these.
(04:20):
Types of drugs that I mean arein this world today or be an
alcoholic.
Something happens I feel, intheir life to make them like
become to that point.
I don't think they just wake upand they're like, Hey, this is
how I wanna live my life.
Yeah, you're yeah, you're right.
And a lot of people don't, likewhen you're riding down,
especially here in Columbus, Isee so many people homeless.
(04:44):
I feel people stereotype them,they don't wanna work, they're
bums, blah, blah blah.
But what about their story?
Yeah.
You're so right.
It's, you're so right.
There's a story behind, there isevery person that stands on
these corners.
There is.
And I am glad that God does nottreat us the way that we treat
(05:05):
so many other people agreed thathe loves us, he accepts us.
And if we only could realize allthe things that are just
offensive to God that are in ourlives and he still loves us.
Yeah, he does.
So you are the daughter ofChristie Connell, right?
Yes sir.
And now do you have somesiblings as well?
Some other siblings?
(05:26):
I have a younger brother.
Okay.
His name is Duncan.
He is my guardian angel.
And he watches over us today.
But my mom was a single mom tome and my brother Duncan.
And, honestly, we had a greatlife as children.
Yeah.
We really did.
My mom loved us.
So what was it like just young,the young years, like maybe as
(05:49):
early as you can remember?
I guess my mom was superwoman.
Yeah.
To me.
Yeah.
I mean she was a single mom.
I didn't really know my dad.
So my mom was my mom and my dad.
She got Mother's Day andFather's Day cards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I never could pick one.
And I don't know if I, if itwas, I really couldn't pick one
(06:10):
or if I was in competition withmy brother, nah, I'm just
kidding.
But really we couldn't pick one.
Mine were always verysentimental and his were always
goofy.
Yeah.
Because that was ourpersonalities.
That fits your personalities.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So as a child, she did any andeverything with us.
I remember going on trips withmy mom at a young age.
(06:33):
My mom taken, there were sevenhead of kids, all to white
waters, and it flooded.
The bottom fell out, and wedidn't get to go.
Guess what?
She rented a motel.
We slept in our bathing suitsand we went into Whitewaters the
next day.
Wow.
Seven kids.
Just my mom.
It was me, my brother, my twocousins.
(06:54):
They were like brothers andsisters.
And it was one of her friends.
And I think it was even one ofmy friends or my, maybe my
brother's friends.
But that was what life was like.
We did everything together.
We were never not with my mom.
And even when she did thingswhen we were young, when I
thought as a child going out andsocially drinking with her
(07:17):
friends, we were always with myaunt.
She didn't just throw us off onanybody and everybody.
Yeah.
We were always safe and takencare of.
And my brother spent a lot oftime with his dad's mother,
which was his nana and his papa.
But I always went to my aunt'shouse.
Yeah.
Okay.
And she was like a second mom.
And I have a best friend, Ashleyspent a lot of time with her
(07:40):
'cause she's been my best friendsince I was three, so we were
close.
Yeah.
But mom, she worked and my momwent to school.
But she did take jobs that werelike, I mean she worked in some
office jobs, but she did bartendand I feel like that was when I
got older.
I did start to notice, that mymom drank more than your
(08:05):
average.
Yeah.
She was drinking all the wayfrom when you were born, just
the early years.
Yeah.
But of course, but you didn'treally know any different, like
you didn't No, and nothing, itnever happened.
And if it did, I didn't knowabout it, so it didn't affect
me.
Yeah.
And that's, I guess that's okayfor that.
She protect us, so I never gotaffected until I got older.
(08:27):
As you started to get older, asyou started to maybe, be old
enough to be aware of why is momgone or why is, what's what, I
don't know, maybe pre-teen, teenyears what was that experience
like and how did that affectyou?
I would say I think when Ireally started noticing it, I
was maybe 15.
(08:48):
Okay.
Is like when it really I noticedit, but when it started
affecting me.
Yeah.
And I would say that it, it wasconcerning because I loved my
mom and I didn't, I feel like Ididn't.
It didn't fit her, the mom thatI grew up with.
(09:08):
Yeah.
The image that, that you had ofyour mom that I saw.
Exactly.
You started to see things that,that didn't really match up to
what you Exactly.
That image.
Yeah, because I never saw thosesides of her.
And some things were said to mebecause I was older and she was
intoxicated of course thosethings hurt my feelings and then
it made me feel like is thatreally how you feel about me?
(09:30):
But I guess anything mindaltering to me honestly isn't
the truth.
cause you're not in your rightmind.
Yeah.
And I just would just push itdown.
I didn't really try to focus onit.
So those the conversations, thethings that she would begin to
say they were hurtful, but youjust push them down and dismiss
(09:52):
them and Yeah, I just try.
Yeah.
Okay.
Which is not healthy though,because you're, you're not
supposed to just pretend likethings Yeah.
You want to ignore them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where were you guys living atthe time?
We lived in Augusta, I wouldthink.
I think that's, and then weliked, my mom liked to move a
lot.
(10:12):
Yeah.
Now where were you in your earlyyears?
Like Vidalia?
Okay, and Okay, Lia.
We moved one time when I wasyoung, when my mom was going
through a divorce.
We moved to Dublin and I was inschool there for just a couple
weeks.
And I was in class one day.
(10:33):
I was actually about to take atest and I was being called to
be signed out and my mom said wewere moving back to Lia in
Dublin's only about 45 minutesaway.
That was like out of the blue,out of nowhere.
I didn't know we were moving.
You just get pulled outta schooland Wow.
That's, but I think that was,that marriage didn't work
because of, they both werealcoholics, I believe, I mean
(10:58):
from the outside looking in.
And I think there was thingsthat taken, took place, but we
didn't see them because weweren't there.
Yeah.
Okay.
And went ba we moved back toVidalia and we weren't there
until, we didn't move againuntil sixth grade.
Macon.
Okay.
(11:18):
Now your mom had seriousdifferent relationships over the
years, right?
She did.
Was, how did that affect you thechanges in those things?
And then I don't know if wereyou ever attached or began to be
pretty close to any of those menthat were in your mom's life
that maybe were a father figureto you?
There was one in particular pergentleman, his name was Nick.
(11:42):
He was very he did not havekids, but he was a pretty
awesome guy and he was good tomy mom and he was great to us.
And I believe there was evenlike, conversations and I even
said I would want him to adoptme.
Wow.
Wow.
How old were you around then?
I was in fifth grade.
Wow.
he genuinely cared about us andhe genuinely cared about my mom.
(12:06):
That's awesome.
I know that.
I just feel like that there pastjust didn't meet in the middle.
Yeah.
My mom didn't have it, hadalready had two kids and he
didn't have any kids.
So I feel and I guess thatwasn't God's plan, yeah.
So she ended up as leaving himand you guys kinda left and they
went there separate ways and hewas in school I believe he is an
(12:30):
attorney today.
Okay.
He was in I think he was taking,what's the really big test that
you take?
The was it the bar or the lsat?
LSAT maybe?
I believe so.
And I think once he got a reallygood job, he moved and I think
he lives in North Carolina now.
Okay.
He still checks on us every nowand then, but of course he's
married and he has his own kids,so I respect that because I
(12:53):
don't think his wife would betoo thrilled if I was like, Hey,
we miss you.
But just general conversationevery now and then.
Yeah.
How long were your mom and Nicktogether?
I don't remember to be exact,but I know I, I know that it was
I wanna say a really long time Iwanna say I was in like seventh
(13:18):
grade.
Wow.
Maybe even eighth.
I remember, and I don't know ifthey, I don't know if they were
still like, we didn't live withhim, but they were still like
socially and I don't know if youconsidered that together.
I don't know.
'cause I was young.
So you guys lived with him for along while?
He moved in with us, yeah.
(13:40):
Okay.
So how did that affect you whenthey split and you guys just
moved on?
It hurt.
Yeah.
Yeah, it did.
And as you ask about my momhaving multiple relationships
um, and how that affected me.
I have very high standardstoday.
(14:00):
I'm a single mom and I thinkthat is because I know what I
deserve and I know what my sondeserves, and I'm just not gonna
settle.
I'm not gonna have that multiplerelationships and I don't want
my child to feel some of thethings that I felt.
Yeah.
And yeah, at a young age, Idon't want him to be confused
(14:23):
or, because Hendricks's dad isnot really in his life on a
daily basis.
And I wouldn't want him to belike, so is this guy gonna stay?
My dad?
Didn't, you know that?
Those type of feelings.
Yeah.
And I just tried to, give him, Iguess love from mother and
(14:44):
father's side, like how my momdid.
Yeah.
When she wasn't in arelationship.
How old is Hendricks?
He is seven.
Wow.
Awesome.
He's a awesome kid.
And he acts so so much like mybrother.
And I do have some healthproblems.
I didn't think I was gonna beable to have kids and I think
God gave me Hendrix because heknew what was ahead.
(15:07):
I don't think that it was God'splan to take my brother.
I don't think that's how thatworks, but thinking that I
wasn't gonna have kids.
And then my son was seven and ahalf months when my brother
passed away.
Wow.
And I just feel like that he waslike, you need him, you need
(15:28):
this kid in your life.
Because my brother was my bestfriend and my mom being a single
mom and working and going toschool, I cared for my brother.
Yeah.
You're like a mom to him.
Not I You just took care of him.
I just, I cared for him.
Yeah.
And I remember like getting upand getting him ready, some
(15:49):
mornings for school and stuff,making sure that he looked nice
and because that's how momdressed us.
Yeah.
And I guess I just, I look at itin so many different ways today,
but I definitely think that Godgave me Hendrix for a reason.
Wow.
What a blessing.
Most definitely.
Yeah.
(16:10):
you were affected a lot by themultiple relationships and the
moving and the, then as yousaid, as you, you got to be a
teenager and you became a littlebit more aware just the way that
your mom talked and how hurtfulshe was with her words.
continue through those teenageyears and just how things
affected you.
I was a senior in high school.
This is just a episode.
(16:31):
I was a senior in high schooland I worked at champ Sports and
I also worked at a club.
I was 17.
I don't know why I worked at aclub.
Me 33 today, looking back, I'mlike, wow.
But anyway, I did and my momwould hang out there at the
club.
Yeah.
And she was my mom and she wouldget intoxicated.
(16:54):
And, my friends and people Iwork with, I.
That did affect me and it wasembarrassing.
And then it hurt my feelingstoo, because it was like, you're
my mom.
Like I never did.
Like I could always call my mom,like for example, 21st birthday,
everybody says, that's when youget to drink legally.
(17:15):
And I was able to call my momand come and get me, but then
years before that, I'm having todrive my mom home from my job.
Wow.
You get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And I remember one time hergetting really upset with me.
I think she lost her cigarettes.
And she wanted me to take herand it was like super late, like
(17:36):
three or four in the morning.
She wanted me to take her to gether cigarettes and I just knew
that they were somewhere in thecar.
Or maybe she did, but I didn'twanna go.
And it become like a bigdisagreement because I wouldn't
take her to get cigarettes.
And it was just because she wasintoxicated and she couldn't
find them.
But it became something biggerthan it should have.
(17:57):
Yeah.
And the words and the actionsthat were taking place, it hurt.
Yeah.
Did that begin to put a riftbetween you guys?
Yes it did, because throughoutmy life I was always really
close to my mom.
Like super close.
And I guess it just started, Istarted building up walls
(18:20):
because it was like it wasn't amother daughter relationship
anymore.
It was, but it wasn't, and thenit made me feel like I, If I
brought it up the next day, itwas it was a problem, but it was
something that needed to betalked about.
Yeah.
Because it affected me.
Yeah.
But if it was talked about it, Ihad to pick and I felt like I
(18:42):
had to pick and choose what Iwould say, so I wouldn't upset
her and really, I don't thinkthat it was so much that I would
upset her.
I think she would just getdefensive because it really hurt
her feelings, probably.
Because I know that deep down mymom loved us, and tho those
actions and the words that weresaid wasn't really her.
(19:06):
I know that it was because shewas under the influence.
Yeah.
And she had progressively gottenworse with her drinking.
And after my brother, mostdefinitely.
Yes, sir.
How old were you when Duncanpassed away?
I was 27.
Okay.
So that's a little bit laterdown in the story.
But you're as an older teenager.
(19:28):
Did your mom realize that whatwas going on?
Did it register to her howdeeply she was beginning to hurt
you?
And I think so.
The risk that was developing,but it wasn't discussed.
Yeah.
I believe that it was, and shewould apologize, but still it
wasn't the same as an apologytoday, yeah.
(19:49):
Yeah.
Because we're all human and weall say things and we might not
say, it might come off a certainway you apologize about it.
And the apology that I get todayand the apology that I got then
is definitely different.
Yeah.
And I feel like that is verysincere today.
Yeah.
Whereas before it was justtrying to, I still feel like
(20:11):
that there was a little bit ofan a, a but, or an well but
excuse words.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That came after the apology.
Yeah.
And I know that she would also,I know that in the inside she
probably beat herself up aboutit because I know that she loved
us.
Yeah, I do know that.
Yeah.
(20:31):
Can I ask you, how do you feellike it affected you not really
having a stable father in yourlife?
Like, how do you feel thataffected you?
Maybe in the.
The decisions you begin to makeas a teenager or the path that
maybe you just began to take inyour own life I think that, I'm
trying to think how to explainit.
(20:53):
Yeah, it hurt and I did notreally date until I was, I guess
talk on the phone, meet as groupfriends at the movies, but I
don't consider that arelationship, yeah.
I was just in middle school.
Yeah.
My first like real relationship,I was 17 and I feel like that a
(21:17):
part of me just wanted that, ifI did date someone that I wanted
the forever.
Yeah.
Because I had never had that andI never saw that and I still
today, I mean I've only had fourreal relationships and that
includes my son's dad and that'sbecause I am very, I'm in it.
(21:38):
I'm determined and I'mcompassionate.
I'm gonna do everything I can tomake something work until
there's nothing left to give.
Yeah.
And I think, I guess that'sbecause I've always wanted that,
and I, and then now that I havea child I want that for him.
(21:59):
Yeah.
I've never experienced that,except for that.
I've always had my mom exceptfor the time period that I
didn't have her.
And that's because she didn'thave herself at that time
period.
And that's because she didn'thave her only other child.
Yeah.
As you graduated high schoolwhat was life like for you then
after high school?
(22:20):
Did you go to college?
What was the I did I went toculinary school.
I went to the art institute inAtlanta.
I lived with my mom and thegentleman that she was dating at
the time, and he was not themost healthiest person for her,
but I did not know that until Imoved in with them, because I
(22:40):
didn't live with my mom.
Right outta high school.
Not long after I graduated Imoved out.
We had gotten to a disagreementand, I decided that I would just
leave.
'cause I thought I was grown.
Yeah.
Looking back I wish I wouldn'thave done that.
But Where did you go?
I went to across the apartmentcomplex to my friend's house.
(23:01):
Alright.
Yeah.
Not very smart.
But yeah to culinary school andthings were not the healthiest
though between my mom and thatgentleman.
And I went, I think I went to myaunt's or I went to my hometown
to visit and I got a call and itwas from Jones County Jailhouse.
(23:25):
And it was my mom.
'cause they had gotten into aaltercation and apparently the
officer took his side.
Apparently they were friends.
And my mom got arrested, so Ihad to go bail my mom out I
overdrew my checking account.
Wow.
So I could bail my mom out.
And they didn't date anymoreafter that.
(23:46):
And I tried to commute fromMacon.
We moved in with my mom's sisterfrom Macon to Dunwoody in
Atlanta.
And my first class was like, Ithink at 8 7 45 8 in the
morning.
I went to school all day andthen I would drive home and then
I would attempt to do homeworkor study and then get the sleep
(24:09):
that I could get and then get upand do it again.
Wow.
Didn't last very long.
'cause it's a hard schedule.
Yeah.
And I was in the middle of asemester, so I didn't, I was
young, I didn't really know anyoptions, so I withdrew and I
didn't finish and get theculinary degree.
(24:31):
That was a dream of mine.
It was.
That's my dream has always beento have something of my own, a
restaurant, a food truck.
Yeah.
It's my happy place when I'm inthe kitchen.
Nothing else exists.
So that was a big setback forme.
(24:51):
I did go to college again.
I went to East Georgia in Sotonand that was just a business
management kind of thing?
Yeah.
Associate's degree or bachelor'sdegree.
I was going, I didn't finishwith either one of them.
I took a medical withdrawal atEast Georgia and that was when I
(25:12):
was 23.
That's when my health decided.
It's a decline.
Oh, I got listeria.
What is that?
It's a foodborne illness.
I went through five hospitalstays about a year and a half in
and out.
They couldn't figure out whatwas wrong.
Wow.
They thought that I hadmeningitis, but they thought
(25:33):
they were saying that it wasviral meningitis.
But they would put me onantibiotics and I would get
better.
If it's viral, antibioticswouldn't have made it better.
So it was in and out.
And then the big blue be recallhappened and I ate that every
day.
I was a vegetarian, so I atethis sherbert with everything.
(25:55):
Granola.
I made smoothies with it.
I consumed it, and I would getadmitted in the hospital and I
would come home and eat it againbecause it is like you ever feel
bad and you eat ice cream?
Oh, yeah.
It makes your tummy feel betterkind of thing.
So I always felt bad because Iwas sick and I would eat this
sherbert because I thought thatit made me feel better.
(26:16):
But it really didn't.
Wow.
So now I deal with health, prohealth problems today.
So that's a lingering theeffects of it, I guess they
finally figured out what it was.
So there was no positive test.
It only stays in your blood forso long.
A year and a half later, ofcourse it's not gonna be there.
And my mom even went over andbeyond and took the last tub of
(26:39):
Sherbert to the healthdepartment and everything.
Like she tried to have ittested.
That's why I said that my momwas a good mom.
Yeah, because through that timeperiod, my mom was also
struggling with Graves disease,but in the mix of all that, when
we would come home, she did turnto alcohol because she was
stressed.
That's where it started.
(26:59):
She didn't know how to handlethings right.
It was just, she was a stressdrinker.
And I think that's why it tooksuch a downhill with my brother,
so just trying to numb it.
Yeah.
Stressed out.
She probably even hurt for metoo, just like I hurt for her,
but I didn't really grieve mybrother properly.
(27:20):
So you finally got stable, withyour health?
Yeah, I guess you could saythat.
I think more I just dealt withit and survived.
Yeah.
And then you were just, you andyour mom were living together
and did you started working?
I did.
I believe I believed I worked athardware pizza.
I was a chef there.
I was a head chef.
And that's where me and my son'sdad started dating.
(27:42):
I.
Does he also work there?
He did.
He was the executive chef and Iwas the head chef.
Okay.
And we both worked there.
We had mutual friends, so wealready knew each other before
we dated.
And I did live with my mom.
And then I moved into amother-in-law suite by myself.
And she lived with Michael,which was the guy that she dated
(28:03):
and they were in a relationshipfor a while when I was sick and
everything like that.
Yeah.
They were in a relationship, sothey had their own home.
And I lived in the mother-in-lawsuite.
Okay.
And so you were pretty seriouswith the executive chef
eventually.
Yes, sir.
We were together probably overfour year.
Four and a half years.
(28:24):
Yeah.
Okay.
And you're just, or did you evermove in together with him?
Or did you stay with yourmother-in-law suite?
He moved in.
He moved in with me along withmy mom.
It was only one bedroom becauseher, when her and Michael were
not on good terms, she wouldcome and stay with me.
Okay.
Because he was the alcoholic aswell, I believe.
Wow.
(28:44):
So then it was the three of youthere in the mother-in-law
suite?
Yep.
In the small one bedroom.
Yes.
Yes.
How'd that go?
That was eventful.
Oh yeah.
What, how I guess just there wasno personal space and BJ would
go stay with his mom in MountVernon, which is like 15
minutes.
Every now and then it would justbe me and my mom or I would go
(29:08):
stay with him in Mount Vernonand then my mom would just be
there hanging out with my pup.
Yeah.
But it was, I mean it wasdefinitely different.
In that time period I got in acar accident and broke my arm
and my leg.
Wow.
Yeah.
I have an awesome scar fromthat.
I was in a wheelchair and my momand Michael got back on good
(29:31):
terms, so she went back andeverybody kinda rotated taking
care of me'cause I couldn't getup and walk at the time period,
even though I thought that Icould.
Wow.
Now as you experienced a lot ofthose hardships in your own
life, did you ever begin to justget a little bit too far into
the world of drinking or anykind of addictions like that
(29:54):
yourself?
Or was that, did it never reallyaffect you the same way as it
affected your mom?
I have experimented withmarijuana.
It was never something that Ihad to have something that I
could pick up, put down.
Yeah.
I considered that like a socialthing.
I guess as people say sociallydrinking never really been a big
(30:15):
drinker.
I think I can probably count onboth hands how many times I've
been like really intoxicated.
Maybe even one to be honest.
Just never, maybe I'm not,didn't care for it because I saw
it a lot.
Yeah.
So that, that, so I didn't carefor it.
And even, smoking marijuana wasreally I guess a college thing
socially, but that wasn'tsomething that I ever became
(30:38):
addicted to.
I think the only thing that Iever really, I guess you could
say addicted to is I, as crazyas it sounds, I picked up
smoking black and Milds after mybrother passed away.
Okay.
And that's really disgustingwow.
And those are kind of cigarette?
It's a cigar.
Okay.
And that lasted about, I thinksix months.
(31:00):
And I was like, this isdisgusting.
Then you had enough of that andI didn't want it anymore.
Then that's when vapes came outand I started smoking a vape and
I have not smoked a vape.
I don't even know, I haven'tcounted.
I haven't been smoking a vape inquite some time now.
Good.
It's been over a month.
Awesome.
And I started out with chewingnicotine gum and because I
(31:24):
thought, I don't wanna make mybody go through withdrawals.
I've never been addicted.
Yeah.
Addicted to anything.
But there's no way that Icouldn't have been addicted to
nicotine because I've had it fora while now.
Yeah.
Like years, because I had a vapeand prior to that I smoked black
and mild.
But I gave my mom my last pieceof nicotine gum yesterday
because I've had it for fivedays and never chewed it.
(31:47):
So I was like, I don't think Ineed anymore gum.
That's awesome.
So I have no kinda addiction.
Wow.
So how did things change whenHendricks came along?
So Hendricks was right at eightmonths when my brother passed
away.
And you were with your mom and Ilived in Macon.
Okay.
And my mom lived in Delion and Idon't really know, like No.
(32:14):
You were, was Hendrick's fatherwith you in Macon?
We were supposed to move theretogether, but he backed out.
Okay.
At the storage yard when we weresupposed to be moving.
That's a long story.
And you were pregnant at thetime?
No, Hendricks was just a couplemonths old.
Okay.
And, I moved to Macon by myself.
My mom, I believe, was datingRob.
(32:36):
He owned like an Italianrestaurant in Vidalia.
I don't really know a lot hapjust like things happened, but I
can not really put it alltogether.
Yeah.
So what what was the story aboutHendrick's dad and what happened
that he didn't, you guys weregonna go to Macon and he didn't
want to go, he wasn't faithful.
Oh, yeah, he wasn't faithful.
(32:58):
Of course I didn't know that atthe time.
I just thought, I really don'tknow why I, what I thought at
the time.
So much happened at the storageyard.
I went, I, my granddadaccidentally hit me with a car,
his car, long story short, wow.
There was a big commotionbecause BJ backed out of Mo
going to Macon.
(33:19):
So he wanted his things out ofthe storage unit.
And Hendricks was in like thecradle, like car seat.
So my grandma had the biggerseat that you move into after
that, which he was gonna bemoving into soon.
So I walked across the storageyard to look in her car to see
if that was in there.
And I walked behind mygranddad's car.
(33:41):
When I looked in my grandma'scar, saw the seat go to walk
back across the storage yard.
This was right after BJ made hisbig commotion.
And as I'm walking across, mygranddad is trying to come drive
across the storage yard becausehe heard all the commotion and
he thought he was in neutral orpark whatever, and he was really
(34:05):
in drive.
So he went from park to driveand he hit me.
So I flew on top of the car.
Wow.
And he landed in a storage unitunder a moving truck?
Yeah he as in my granddad.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
So we both went to the er andthis was right in the middle of,
me moving to Macon.
(34:25):
And BJ was, he was just backingout, creating a drama scene and
Yeah, pretty much.
Wow.
So then it was a battle becauseit did hurt me.
I had a sic nerve, so I couldn'twalk for two weeks and my mom
had to come to Macon and help mewith Hendrix because he was just
a baby.
(34:46):
we'll pick back up next week andJasmine will continue her story,
which gets a little worse beforeit gets better.
Things get a little morestrained between her and her
mother.
particularly after the time whenher brother died, her mother
just went off the deep end.
And you can hear more about thatif you go back and listen to
(35:07):
Christie Connell's podcast whereshe stares shares her story.
But next week, uh, we'll dive alittle bit more into, uh, what
happens towards the end of thedarkness and then.
Just the amazing transformationthat God does and the way that
He beautifully brings back andrestores the relationship
(35:28):
between mother and daughter tobe greater and stronger than it
even ever was before.
And it's a wonderful thing.
You really will enjoy it.
Next week, Jasmine will share alittle bit more about Her
thoughts and perspectives andsome wisdom on what it's like
dealing with a parent who has anaddiction, and you'll be able to
really have a betterunderstanding of what so many
(35:50):
people are dealing with that wejust never consider or realize.
She'll also share some wisdomthat will be a great blessing to
you and give us many things toreally think about and learn
from.
So I look forward to being backwith you again next week.
God bless you We will see youthen.
We look forward to being with you again next week
as we share another testimonyabout the power and the goodness
(36:10):
of God to change lives throughSafe House Ministries.
if you are someone listening tothis podcast that loves to hear
these stories of the greatthings that God is doing in
changing people's lives for thebetter, and if you would like to
be a part of that work, pleasereach out to us You can reach us
at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus,Georgia, 31,904.
(36:33):
You can call us at seven oh sixthree two two.
3 7, 7 3, or you can email us atinfo@safehouse-ministries.com.
Microphone (Samson Q2U Mi (36:44):
Thank you so much for being with us
this week for the renew restoreand rejoice podcast of safe
house ministries, we pray thatGod will bless you this week.
And we look forward to havingyou back with us again next week
for a new episode.
Did that begin to put a riftbetween you guys?
Yes it did, because throughoutmy life I was always really
close to my mom.
Like super close.
And I guess it just started, Istarted building up walls
because it was like it wasn't amother daughter relationship
anymore.
(00:21):
It was, but it wasn't, and thenit made me feel like I, If I
brought it up the next day, itwas it was a problem, but it was
something that needed to betalked about.
Yeah.
Because it affected me.
Yeah.
But if it was talked about it, Ihad to pick and I felt like I
had to pick and choose what Iwould say, so I wouldn't upset
(00:43):
her and really, I don't thinkthat it was so much that I would
upset her.
I think she would just getdefensive because it really hurt
her feelings, probably.
Because I know that deep down mymom loved us, and tho those
actions and the words that weresaid wasn't really her.
I know that it was because shewas under the influence.
Phil Shuler (01:05):
HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the
Safe House Ministries podcast,where we share stories of the
power of God to change livesthrough Safe House Ministries.
Safe House Ministries is basedout of Columbus, Georgia, and we
are a ministry that exists tolove and serve people who have
been affected by addiction,homelessness, and incarceration.
I'm your host, Phil Shuler, theDirector of Development for Safe
(01:27):
House Ministries here inColumbus, Georgia.
Safe House serves over 1, 100people each month as they
transition back into ourcommunity.
Safe House provides an abundanceof services including 213 beds
for homeless individuals andfamilies, case management for
obtaining job skills and longterm employment.
Over 300 hot meals every day,free clothing, and so much more.
(01:48):
One of the most incredibleservices that Safe House
provides is our free 9 12 monthintensive outpatient substance
abuse program, which is statelicensed, CARF accredited, and
has no wait list.
Almost 100 percent ofindividuals staying in our
shelters who follow our threephase program become fully
employed within a few months.
And 68 percent of individualswho stay at least one night with
(02:09):
us End up finding work andmoving into their own home.
Thank you for being with ustoday and listening to our
podcast.
We hope you enjoy this week'sepisode.
hello and welcome to our podcastepisode this morning.
This morning we've got a specialtreat, something that's a little
different than the usual podcastformat.
Most of the time, theinterviewees that I have that
(02:30):
come on share their amazingstories of how they themselves
went through addiction andhomelessness and just tragedy
and darkness, and how the Lordgot a hold of them and turned
their life around.
But today I have someone,Jasmine, who grew up with a mom
that went through darkness andaddiction, and Jasmine is here
(02:55):
to share how that affected herand what that did in her life,
and to give us a perspectivethat I think will help in so
many ways.
Jasmine, thanks for being here.
Thank you.
I'm super excited.
When I think about things that Iwent through throughout my life,
it is emotional, so I'm gonnaprepare myself for that.
(03:16):
It's okay.
Yeah.
It's okay to be emotional.
I'm grateful that you are hereand willing to share some things
that I know will be a greatencouragement and a help to a
lot of people.
I hope so.
I really do.
The reality is that there are somany people that are living with
(03:38):
a loved one who is in addictionor in homelessness.
And it's a rough place to be.
I look at it in so manydifferent perspectives today,
and I really have always had avery open heart to anyone.
I've never judged anybody.
I was that person in school.
Wow.
Friends with everybody.
(03:59):
Yeah.
It didn't matter, if you worethe same brand as, this person
or that person.
But one thing for sure, I feelas far as someone in addiction
or even, recovering today, theydon't just wake up one day and
say, Hey, I, I wanna do this.
I wanna be homeless.
I wanna be strung out on, these.
(04:20):
Types of drugs that I mean arein this world today or be an
alcoholic.
Something happens I feel, intheir life to make them like
become to that point.
I don't think they just wake upand they're like, Hey, this is
how I wanna live my life.
Yeah, you're yeah, you're right.
And a lot of people don't, likewhen you're riding down,
especially here in Columbus, Isee so many people homeless.
(04:44):
I feel people stereotype them,they don't wanna work, they're
bums, blah, blah blah.
But what about their story?
Yeah.
You're so right.
It's, you're so right.
There's a story behind, there isevery person that stands on
these corners.
There is.
And I am glad that God does nottreat us the way that we treat
(05:05):
so many other people agreed thathe loves us, he accepts us.
And if we only could realize allthe things that are just
offensive to God that are in ourlives and he still loves us.
Yeah, he does.
So you are the daughter ofChristie Connell, right?
Yes sir.
And now do you have somesiblings as well?
Some other siblings?
(05:26):
I have a younger brother.
Okay.
His name is Duncan.
He is my guardian angel.
And he watches over us today.
But my mom was a single mom tome and my brother Duncan.
And, honestly, we had a greatlife as children.
Yeah.
We really did.
My mom loved us.
So what was it like just young,the young years, like maybe as
(05:49):
early as you can remember?
I guess my mom was superwoman.
Yeah.
To me.
Yeah.
I mean she was a single mom.
I didn't really know my dad.
So my mom was my mom and my dad.
She got Mother's Day andFather's Day cards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I never could pick one.
And I don't know if I, if itwas, I really couldn't pick one
(06:10):
or if I was in competition withmy brother, nah, I'm just
kidding.
But really we couldn't pick one.
Mine were always verysentimental and his were always
goofy.
Yeah.
Because that was ourpersonalities.
That fits your personalities.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So as a child, she did any andeverything with us.
I remember going on trips withmy mom at a young age.
(06:33):
My mom taken, there were sevenhead of kids, all to white
waters, and it flooded.
The bottom fell out, and wedidn't get to go.
Guess what?
She rented a motel.
We slept in our bathing suitsand we went into Whitewaters the
next day.
Wow.
Seven kids.
Just my mom.
It was me, my brother, my twocousins.
(06:54):
They were like brothers andsisters.
And it was one of her friends.
And I think it was even one ofmy friends or my, maybe my
brother's friends.
But that was what life was like.
We did everything together.
We were never not with my mom.
And even when she did thingswhen we were young, when I
thought as a child going out andsocially drinking with her
(07:17):
friends, we were always with myaunt.
She didn't just throw us off onanybody and everybody.
Yeah.
We were always safe and takencare of.
And my brother spent a lot oftime with his dad's mother,
which was his nana and his papa.
But I always went to my aunt'shouse.
Yeah.
Okay.
And she was like a second mom.
And I have a best friend, Ashleyspent a lot of time with her
(07:40):
'cause she's been my best friendsince I was three, so we were
close.
Yeah.
But mom, she worked and my momwent to school.
But she did take jobs that werelike, I mean she worked in some
office jobs, but she did bartendand I feel like that was when I
got older.
I did start to notice, that mymom drank more than your
(08:05):
average.
Yeah.
She was drinking all the wayfrom when you were born, just
the early years.
Yeah.
But of course, but you didn'treally know any different, like
you didn't No, and nothing, itnever happened.
And if it did, I didn't knowabout it, so it didn't affect
me.
Yeah.
And that's, I guess that's okayfor that.
She protect us, so I never gotaffected until I got older.
(08:27):
As you started to get older, asyou started to maybe, be old
enough to be aware of why is momgone or why is, what's what, I
don't know, maybe pre-teen, teenyears what was that experience
like and how did that affectyou?
I would say I think when Ireally started noticing it, I
was maybe 15.
(08:48):
Okay.
Is like when it really I noticedit, but when it started
affecting me.
Yeah.
And I would say that it, it wasconcerning because I loved my
mom and I didn't, I feel like Ididn't.
It didn't fit her, the mom thatI grew up with.
(09:08):
Yeah.
The image that, that you had ofyour mom that I saw.
Exactly.
You started to see things that,that didn't really match up to
what you Exactly.
That image.
Yeah, because I never saw thosesides of her.
And some things were said to mebecause I was older and she was
intoxicated of course thosethings hurt my feelings and then
it made me feel like is thatreally how you feel about me?
(09:30):
But I guess anything mindaltering to me honestly isn't
the truth.
cause you're not in your rightmind.
Yeah.
And I just would just push itdown.
I didn't really try to focus onit.
So those the conversations, thethings that she would begin to
say they were hurtful, but youjust push them down and dismiss
(09:52):
them and Yeah, I just try.
Yeah.
Okay.
Which is not healthy though,because you're, you're not
supposed to just pretend likethings Yeah.
You want to ignore them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where were you guys living atthe time?
We lived in Augusta, I wouldthink.
I think that's, and then weliked, my mom liked to move a
lot.
(10:12):
Yeah.
Now where were you in your earlyyears?
Like Vidalia?
Okay, and Okay, Lia.
We moved one time when I wasyoung, when my mom was going
through a divorce.
We moved to Dublin and I was inschool there for just a couple
weeks.
And I was in class one day.
(10:33):
I was actually about to take atest and I was being called to
be signed out and my mom said wewere moving back to Lia in
Dublin's only about 45 minutesaway.
That was like out of the blue,out of nowhere.
I didn't know we were moving.
You just get pulled outta schooland Wow.
That's, but I think that was,that marriage didn't work
because of, they both werealcoholics, I believe, I mean
(10:58):
from the outside looking in.
And I think there was thingsthat taken, took place, but we
didn't see them because weweren't there.
Yeah.
Okay.
And went ba we moved back toVidalia and we weren't there
until, we didn't move againuntil sixth grade.
Macon.
Okay.
(11:18):
Now your mom had seriousdifferent relationships over the
years, right?
She did.
Was, how did that affect you thechanges in those things?
And then I don't know if wereyou ever attached or began to be
pretty close to any of those menthat were in your mom's life
that maybe were a father figureto you?
There was one in particular pergentleman, his name was Nick.
(11:42):
He was very he did not havekids, but he was a pretty
awesome guy and he was good tomy mom and he was great to us.
And I believe there was evenlike, conversations and I even
said I would want him to adoptme.
Wow.
Wow.
How old were you around then?
I was in fifth grade.
Wow.
he genuinely cared about us andhe genuinely cared about my mom.
(12:06):
That's awesome.
I know that.
I just feel like that there pastjust didn't meet in the middle.
Yeah.
My mom didn't have it, hadalready had two kids and he
didn't have any kids.
So I feel and I guess thatwasn't God's plan, yeah.
So she ended up as leaving himand you guys kinda left and they
went there separate ways and hewas in school I believe he is an
(12:30):
attorney today.
Okay.
He was in I think he was taking,what's the really big test that
you take?
The was it the bar or the lsat?
LSAT maybe?
I believe so.
And I think once he got a reallygood job, he moved and I think
he lives in North Carolina now.
Okay.
He still checks on us every nowand then, but of course he's
married and he has his own kids,so I respect that because I
(12:53):
don't think his wife would betoo thrilled if I was like, Hey,
we miss you.
But just general conversationevery now and then.
Yeah.
How long were your mom and Nicktogether?
I don't remember to be exact,but I know I, I know that it was
I wanna say a really long time Iwanna say I was in like seventh
(13:18):
grade.
Wow.
Maybe even eighth.
I remember, and I don't know ifthey, I don't know if they were
still like, we didn't live withhim, but they were still like
socially and I don't know if youconsidered that together.
I don't know.
'cause I was young.
So you guys lived with him for along while?
He moved in with us, yeah.
(13:40):
Okay.
So how did that affect you whenthey split and you guys just
moved on?
It hurt.
Yeah.
Yeah, it did.
And as you ask about my momhaving multiple relationships
um, and how that affected me.
I have very high standardstoday.
(14:00):
I'm a single mom and I thinkthat is because I know what I
deserve and I know what my sondeserves, and I'm just not gonna
settle.
I'm not gonna have that multiplerelationships and I don't want
my child to feel some of thethings that I felt.
Yeah.
And yeah, at a young age, Idon't want him to be confused
(14:23):
or, because Hendricks's dad isnot really in his life on a
daily basis.
And I wouldn't want him to belike, so is this guy gonna stay?
My dad?
Didn't, you know that?
Those type of feelings.
Yeah.
And I just tried to, give him, Iguess love from mother and
(14:44):
father's side, like how my momdid.
Yeah.
When she wasn't in arelationship.
How old is Hendricks?
He is seven.
Wow.
Awesome.
He's a awesome kid.
And he acts so so much like mybrother.
And I do have some healthproblems.
I didn't think I was gonna beable to have kids and I think
God gave me Hendrix because heknew what was ahead.
(15:07):
I don't think that it was God'splan to take my brother.
I don't think that's how thatworks, but thinking that I
wasn't gonna have kids.
And then my son was seven and ahalf months when my brother
passed away.
Wow.
And I just feel like that he waslike, you need him, you need
(15:28):
this kid in your life.
Because my brother was my bestfriend and my mom being a single
mom and working and going toschool, I cared for my brother.
Yeah.
You're like a mom to him.
Not I You just took care of him.
I just, I cared for him.
Yeah.
And I remember like getting upand getting him ready, some
(15:49):
mornings for school and stuff,making sure that he looked nice
and because that's how momdressed us.
Yeah.
And I guess I just, I look at itin so many different ways today,
but I definitely think that Godgave me Hendrix for a reason.
Wow.
What a blessing.
Most definitely.
Yeah.
(16:10):
you were affected a lot by themultiple relationships and the
moving and the, then as yousaid, as you, you got to be a
teenager and you became a littlebit more aware just the way that
your mom talked and how hurtfulshe was with her words.
continue through those teenageyears and just how things
affected you.
I was a senior in high school.
This is just a episode.
(16:31):
I was a senior in high schooland I worked at champ Sports and
I also worked at a club.
I was 17.
I don't know why I worked at aclub.
Me 33 today, looking back, I'mlike, wow.
But anyway, I did and my momwould hang out there at the
club.
Yeah.
And she was my mom and she wouldget intoxicated.
(16:54):
And, my friends and people Iwork with, I.
That did affect me and it wasembarrassing.
And then it hurt my feelingstoo, because it was like, you're
my mom.
Like I never did.
Like I could always call my mom,like for example, 21st birthday,
everybody says, that's when youget to drink legally.
(17:15):
And I was able to call my momand come and get me, but then
years before that, I'm having todrive my mom home from my job.
Wow.
You get what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And I remember one time hergetting really upset with me.
I think she lost her cigarettes.
And she wanted me to take herand it was like super late, like
(17:36):
three or four in the morning.
She wanted me to take her to gether cigarettes and I just knew
that they were somewhere in thecar.
Or maybe she did, but I didn'twanna go.
And it become like a bigdisagreement because I wouldn't
take her to get cigarettes.
And it was just because she wasintoxicated and she couldn't
find them.
But it became something biggerthan it should have.
(17:57):
Yeah.
And the words and the actionsthat were taking place, it hurt.
Yeah.
Did that begin to put a riftbetween you guys?
Yes it did, because throughoutmy life I was always really
close to my mom.
Like super close.
And I guess it just started, Istarted building up walls
(18:20):
because it was like it wasn't amother daughter relationship
anymore.
It was, but it wasn't, and thenit made me feel like I, If I
brought it up the next day, itwas it was a problem, but it was
something that needed to betalked about.
Yeah.
Because it affected me.
Yeah.
But if it was talked about it, Ihad to pick and I felt like I
(18:42):
had to pick and choose what Iwould say, so I wouldn't upset
her and really, I don't thinkthat it was so much that I would
upset her.
I think she would just getdefensive because it really hurt
her feelings, probably.
Because I know that deep down mymom loved us, and tho those
actions and the words that weresaid wasn't really her.
(19:06):
I know that it was because shewas under the influence.
Yeah.
And she had progressively gottenworse with her drinking.
And after my brother, mostdefinitely.
Yes, sir.
How old were you when Duncanpassed away?
I was 27.
Okay.
So that's a little bit laterdown in the story.
But you're as an older teenager.
(19:28):
Did your mom realize that whatwas going on?
Did it register to her howdeeply she was beginning to hurt
you?
And I think so.
The risk that was developing,but it wasn't discussed.
Yeah.
I believe that it was, and shewould apologize, but still it
wasn't the same as an apologytoday, yeah.
(19:49):
Yeah.
Because we're all human and weall say things and we might not
say, it might come off a certainway you apologize about it.
And the apology that I get todayand the apology that I got then
is definitely different.
Yeah.
And I feel like that is verysincere today.
Yeah.
Whereas before it was justtrying to, I still feel like
(20:11):
that there was a little bit ofan a, a but, or an well but
excuse words.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That came after the apology.
Yeah.
And I know that she would also,I know that in the inside she
probably beat herself up aboutit because I know that she loved
us.
Yeah, I do know that.
Yeah.
(20:31):
Can I ask you, how do you feellike it affected you not really
having a stable father in yourlife?
Like, how do you feel thataffected you?
Maybe in the.
The decisions you begin to makeas a teenager or the path that
maybe you just began to take inyour own life I think that, I'm
trying to think how to explainit.
(20:53):
Yeah, it hurt and I did notreally date until I was, I guess
talk on the phone, meet as groupfriends at the movies, but I
don't consider that arelationship, yeah.
I was just in middle school.
Yeah.
My first like real relationship,I was 17 and I feel like that a
(21:17):
part of me just wanted that, ifI did date someone that I wanted
the forever.
Yeah.
Because I had never had that andI never saw that and I still
today, I mean I've only had fourreal relationships and that
includes my son's dad and that'sbecause I am very, I'm in it.
(21:38):
I'm determined and I'mcompassionate.
I'm gonna do everything I can tomake something work until
there's nothing left to give.
Yeah.
And I think, I guess that'sbecause I've always wanted that,
and I, and then now that I havea child I want that for him.
(21:59):
Yeah.
I've never experienced that,except for that.
I've always had my mom exceptfor the time period that I
didn't have her.
And that's because she didn'thave herself at that time
period.
And that's because she didn'thave her only other child.
Yeah.
As you graduated high schoolwhat was life like for you then
after high school?
(22:20):
Did you go to college?
What was the I did I went toculinary school.
I went to the art institute inAtlanta.
I lived with my mom and thegentleman that she was dating at
the time, and he was not themost healthiest person for her,
but I did not know that until Imoved in with them, because I
(22:40):
didn't live with my mom.
Right outta high school.
Not long after I graduated Imoved out.
We had gotten to a disagreementand, I decided that I would just
leave.
'cause I thought I was grown.
Yeah.
Looking back I wish I wouldn'thave done that.
But Where did you go?
I went to across the apartmentcomplex to my friend's house.
(23:01):
Alright.
Yeah.
Not very smart.
But yeah to culinary school andthings were not the healthiest
though between my mom and thatgentleman.
And I went, I think I went to myaunt's or I went to my hometown
to visit and I got a call and itwas from Jones County Jailhouse.
(23:25):
And it was my mom.
'cause they had gotten into aaltercation and apparently the
officer took his side.
Apparently they were friends.
And my mom got arrested, so Ihad to go bail my mom out I
overdrew my checking account.
Wow.
So I could bail my mom out.
And they didn't date anymoreafter that.
(23:46):
And I tried to commute fromMacon.
We moved in with my mom's sisterfrom Macon to Dunwoody in
Atlanta.
And my first class was like, Ithink at 8 7 45 8 in the
morning.
I went to school all day andthen I would drive home and then
I would attempt to do homeworkor study and then get the sleep
(24:09):
that I could get and then get upand do it again.
Wow.
Didn't last very long.
'cause it's a hard schedule.
Yeah.
And I was in the middle of asemester, so I didn't, I was
young, I didn't really know anyoptions, so I withdrew and I
didn't finish and get theculinary degree.
(24:31):
That was a dream of mine.
It was.
That's my dream has always beento have something of my own, a
restaurant, a food truck.
Yeah.
It's my happy place when I'm inthe kitchen.
Nothing else exists.
So that was a big setback forme.
(24:51):
I did go to college again.
I went to East Georgia in Sotonand that was just a business
management kind of thing?
Yeah.
Associate's degree or bachelor'sdegree.
I was going, I didn't finishwith either one of them.
I took a medical withdrawal atEast Georgia and that was when I
(25:12):
was 23.
That's when my health decided.
It's a decline.
Oh, I got listeria.
What is that?
It's a foodborne illness.
I went through five hospitalstays about a year and a half in
and out.
They couldn't figure out whatwas wrong.
Wow.
They thought that I hadmeningitis, but they thought
(25:33):
they were saying that it wasviral meningitis.
But they would put me onantibiotics and I would get
better.
If it's viral, antibioticswouldn't have made it better.
So it was in and out.
And then the big blue be recallhappened and I ate that every
day.
I was a vegetarian, so I atethis sherbert with everything.
(25:55):
Granola.
I made smoothies with it.
I consumed it, and I would getadmitted in the hospital and I
would come home and eat it againbecause it is like you ever feel
bad and you eat ice cream?
Oh, yeah.
It makes your tummy feel betterkind of thing.
So I always felt bad because Iwas sick and I would eat this
sherbert because I thought thatit made me feel better.
(26:16):
But it really didn't.
Wow.
So now I deal with health, prohealth problems today.
So that's a lingering theeffects of it, I guess they
finally figured out what it was.
So there was no positive test.
It only stays in your blood forso long.
A year and a half later, ofcourse it's not gonna be there.
And my mom even went over andbeyond and took the last tub of
(26:39):
Sherbert to the healthdepartment and everything.
Like she tried to have ittested.
That's why I said that my momwas a good mom.
Yeah, because through that timeperiod, my mom was also
struggling with Graves disease,but in the mix of all that, when
we would come home, she did turnto alcohol because she was
stressed.
That's where it started.
(26:59):
She didn't know how to handlethings right.
It was just, she was a stressdrinker.
And I think that's why it tooksuch a downhill with my brother,
so just trying to numb it.
Yeah.
Stressed out.
She probably even hurt for metoo, just like I hurt for her,
but I didn't really grieve mybrother properly.
(27:20):
So you finally got stable, withyour health?
Yeah, I guess you could saythat.
I think more I just dealt withit and survived.
Yeah.
And then you were just, you andyour mom were living together
and did you started working?
I did.
I believe I believed I worked athardware pizza.
I was a chef there.
I was a head chef.
And that's where me and my son'sdad started dating.
(27:42):
I.
Does he also work there?
He did.
He was the executive chef and Iwas the head chef.
Okay.
And we both worked there.
We had mutual friends, so wealready knew each other before
we dated.
And I did live with my mom.
And then I moved into amother-in-law suite by myself.
And she lived with Michael,which was the guy that she dated
(28:03):
and they were in a relationshipfor a while when I was sick and
everything like that.
Yeah.
They were in a relationship, sothey had their own home.
And I lived in the mother-in-lawsuite.
Okay.
And so you were pretty seriouswith the executive chef
eventually.
Yes, sir.
We were together probably overfour year.
Four and a half years.
(28:24):
Yeah.
Okay.
And you're just, or did you evermove in together with him?
Or did you stay with yourmother-in-law suite?
He moved in.
He moved in with me along withmy mom.
It was only one bedroom becauseher, when her and Michael were
not on good terms, she wouldcome and stay with me.
Okay.
Because he was the alcoholic aswell, I believe.
Wow.
(28:44):
So then it was the three of youthere in the mother-in-law
suite?
Yep.
In the small one bedroom.
Yes.
Yes.
How'd that go?
That was eventful.
Oh yeah.
What, how I guess just there wasno personal space and BJ would
go stay with his mom in MountVernon, which is like 15
minutes.
Every now and then it would justbe me and my mom or I would go
(29:08):
stay with him in Mount Vernonand then my mom would just be
there hanging out with my pup.
Yeah.
But it was, I mean it wasdefinitely different.
In that time period I got in acar accident and broke my arm
and my leg.
Wow.
Yeah.
I have an awesome scar fromthat.
I was in a wheelchair and my momand Michael got back on good
(29:31):
terms, so she went back andeverybody kinda rotated taking
care of me'cause I couldn't getup and walk at the time period,
even though I thought that Icould.
Wow.
Now as you experienced a lot ofthose hardships in your own
life, did you ever begin to justget a little bit too far into
the world of drinking or anykind of addictions like that
(29:54):
yourself?
Or was that, did it never reallyaffect you the same way as it
affected your mom?
I have experimented withmarijuana.
It was never something that Ihad to have something that I
could pick up, put down.
Yeah.
I considered that like a socialthing.
I guess as people say sociallydrinking never really been a big
(30:15):
drinker.
I think I can probably count onboth hands how many times I've
been like really intoxicated.
Maybe even one to be honest.
Just never, maybe I'm not,didn't care for it because I saw
it a lot.
Yeah.
So that, that, so I didn't carefor it.
And even, smoking marijuana wasreally I guess a college thing
socially, but that wasn'tsomething that I ever became
(30:38):
addicted to.
I think the only thing that Iever really, I guess you could
say addicted to is I, as crazyas it sounds, I picked up
smoking black and Milds after mybrother passed away.
Okay.
And that's really disgustingwow.
And those are kind of cigarette?
It's a cigar.
Okay.
And that lasted about, I thinksix months.
(31:00):
And I was like, this isdisgusting.
Then you had enough of that andI didn't want it anymore.
Then that's when vapes came outand I started smoking a vape and
I have not smoked a vape.
I don't even know, I haven'tcounted.
I haven't been smoking a vape inquite some time now.
Good.
It's been over a month.
Awesome.
And I started out with chewingnicotine gum and because I
(31:24):
thought, I don't wanna make mybody go through withdrawals.
I've never been addicted.
Yeah.
Addicted to anything.
But there's no way that Icouldn't have been addicted to
nicotine because I've had it fora while now.
Yeah.
Like years, because I had a vapeand prior to that I smoked black
and mild.
But I gave my mom my last pieceof nicotine gum yesterday
because I've had it for fivedays and never chewed it.
(31:47):
So I was like, I don't think Ineed anymore gum.
That's awesome.
So I have no kinda addiction.
Wow.
So how did things change whenHendricks came along?
So Hendricks was right at eightmonths when my brother passed
away.
And you were with your mom and Ilived in Macon.
Okay.
And my mom lived in Delion and Idon't really know, like No.
(32:14):
You were, was Hendrick's fatherwith you in Macon?
We were supposed to move theretogether, but he backed out.
Okay.
At the storage yard when we weresupposed to be moving.
That's a long story.
And you were pregnant at thetime?
No, Hendricks was just a couplemonths old.
Okay.
And, I moved to Macon by myself.
My mom, I believe, was datingRob.
(32:36):
He owned like an Italianrestaurant in Vidalia.
I don't really know a lot hapjust like things happened, but I
can not really put it alltogether.
Yeah.
So what what was the story aboutHendrick's dad and what happened
that he didn't, you guys weregonna go to Macon and he didn't
want to go, he wasn't faithful.
Oh, yeah, he wasn't faithful.
(32:58):
Of course I didn't know that atthe time.
I just thought, I really don'tknow why I, what I thought at
the time.
So much happened at the storageyard.
I went, I, my granddadaccidentally hit me with a car,
his car, long story short, wow.
There was a big commotionbecause BJ backed out of Mo
going to Macon.
(33:19):
So he wanted his things out ofthe storage unit.
And Hendricks was in like thecradle, like car seat.
So my grandma had the biggerseat that you move into after
that, which he was gonna bemoving into soon.
So I walked across the storageyard to look in her car to see
if that was in there.
And I walked behind mygranddad's car.
(33:41):
When I looked in my grandma'scar, saw the seat go to walk
back across the storage yard.
This was right after BJ made hisbig commotion.
And as I'm walking across, mygranddad is trying to come drive
across the storage yard becausehe heard all the commotion and
he thought he was in neutral orpark whatever, and he was really
(34:05):
in drive.
So he went from park to driveand he hit me.
So I flew on top of the car.
Wow.
And he landed in a storage unitunder a moving truck?
Yeah he as in my granddad.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
So we both went to the er andthis was right in the middle of,
me moving to Macon.
(34:25):
And BJ was, he was just backingout, creating a drama scene and
Yeah, pretty much.
Wow.
So then it was a battle becauseit did hurt me.
I had a sic nerve, so I couldn'twalk for two weeks and my mom
had to come to Macon and help mewith Hendrix because he was just
a baby.
(34:46):
we'll pick back up next week andJasmine will continue her story,
which gets a little worse beforeit gets better.
Things get a little morestrained between her and her
mother.
particularly after the time whenher brother died, her mother
just went off the deep end.
And you can hear more about thatif you go back and listen to
(35:07):
Christie Connell's podcast whereshe stares shares her story.
But next week, uh, we'll dive alittle bit more into, uh, what
happens towards the end of thedarkness and then.
Just the amazing transformationthat God does and the way that
He beautifully brings back andrestores the relationship
(35:28):
between mother and daughter tobe greater and stronger than it
even ever was before.
And it's a wonderful thing.
You really will enjoy it.
Next week, Jasmine will share alittle bit more about Her
thoughts and perspectives andsome wisdom on what it's like
dealing with a parent who has anaddiction, and you'll be able to
really have a betterunderstanding of what so many
(35:50):
people are dealing with that wejust never consider or realize.
She'll also share some wisdomthat will be a great blessing to
you and give us many things toreally think about and learn
from.
So I look forward to being backwith you again next week.
God bless you We will see youthen.
We look forward to being with you again next week
as we share another testimonyabout the power and the goodness
(36:10):
of God to change lives throughSafe House Ministries.
if you are someone listening tothis podcast that loves to hear
these stories of the greatthings that God is doing in
changing people's lives for thebetter, and if you would like to
be a part of that work, pleasereach out to us You can reach us
at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus,Georgia, 31,904.
(36:33):
You can call us at seven oh sixthree two two.
3 7, 7 3, or you can email us atinfo@safehouse-ministries.com.
Microphone (Samson Q2U Mi (36:44):
Thank you so much for being with us
this week for the renew restoreand rejoice podcast of safe
house ministries, we pray thatGod will bless you this week.
And we look forward to havingyou back with us again next week
for a new episode.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.