Shannon shares it all, she opens up about being raped at age 14 and about the trajectory of tragedy her life took from that point on. She shares about multiple abusive and failed relationships, severe drug addiction, and how she came to the place where she felt that suicide was the answer. But God had other plans for Shannon!!!!!
Shannon exposes so many of the lies our Enemy (Satan) uses to lead us into darkness and try to trap us there forever. Too many of us follow those lies on a path that leads only to heartache and sorrow. Listen to Shannon's story and take courage to reject the lies and seek out the truth God wants us to know instead.
This episode takes you through Shannon's life all the way up till she was released from jail in 2011 and meets "the devil in blue jeans".
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shannon (00:00):
I was begging God to let me die.
Phil (00:01):
Wow.
Shannon (00:02):
Begging him to let me die because the life I was
living was just, I couldn't doit no more.
And so death was my only wayout.
Wow.
Matter of fact, I was plottingmy death but God her intervened.
Phil Shuler (00:16):
HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the
Safe House Ministries podcast,where we share stories of the
power of God to change livesthrough Safe House Ministries.
Safe House Ministries is basedout of Columbus, Georgia, and we
are a ministry that exists tolove and serve people who have
been affected by addiction,homelessness, and incarceration.
I'm your host, Phil Shuler, theDirector of Development for Safe
(00:38):
House Ministries here inColumbus, Georgia.
Safe House serves over 1, 100people each month as they
transition back into ourcommunity.
Safe House provides an abundanceof services including 213 beds
for homeless individuals andfamilies, case management for
obtaining job skills and longterm employment.
Over 300 hot meals every day,free clothing, and so much more.
(00:59):
One of the most incredibleservices that Safe House
provides is our free 9 12 monthintensive outpatient substance
abuse program, which is statelicensed, CARF accredited, and
has no wait list.
Almost 100 percent ofindividuals staying in our
shelters who follow our threephase program become fully
employed within a few months.
And 68 percent of individualswho stay at least one night with
(01:20):
us End up finding work andmoving into their own home.
Thank you for being with ustoday and listening to our
podcast.
We hope you enjoy this week'sepisode.
Phil (01:29):
Hello and welcome to the Safe House Ministries podcast
for today.
I'm very excited to have Shannonwith me this morning.
Shannon, what is your last nameagain?
Clark.
Clark Shannon Clark.
Yes.
Shannon again was someonerecommended to me by one of my
colleagues and I hear that shehas really an incredible
testimony a lot of crazy thingsin her past, but amazing things
(01:50):
that the Lord has done to bringher to where she is today.
So Shannon, I'm so glad to haveyou this morning.
I'm
Shannon (01:56):
so glad to be here.
Phil (01:57):
Yeah.
Shannon, I would love to ask youthe same question I ask
everybody else when we getstarted.
If there was one word that wouldbest describe you, what would
that word be?
Shannon (02:08):
Overcomer.
Phil (02:10):
That's a great word.
So what do you mean when you saythat?
Shannon (02:13):
Came, I saw I conquered.
Phil (02:15):
Yeah.
You sound like Julius Caesar.
Are you familiar with thatquote?
Yes.
Of Julius Caesar?
Shannon (02:19):
Yes.
But, through heartache andtrials rock bottom.
Phil (02:24):
Yeah.
Shannon (02:25):
To be able to pull yourself up, I'm gonna get
emotional.
To really hit your rock bottom,that death is your last option.
I was begging God to let me die.
Phil (02:35):
Wow.
Shannon (02:36):
Begging him to let me die because the life I was
living was just, I couldn't doit no more.
And so death was my only wayout.
Wow.
Matter of fact, I was plottingmy death but God her intervened.
Wow.
It starts out where, we grow upnot choosing our future or the
life that we're living.
We have so much expectations forwhere we wanna go in life.
(02:58):
Getting married, having kids,having a beautiful life.
I did succeed in that, butthroughout my whole life,
there's been trauma or addictionor inadequacy from getting in
relationships and, having badrelationships.
Phil (03:16):
Yeah.
Shannon (03:17):
People beating on you.
Phil (03:18):
Wow.
Overcomer is a great word.
Yes.
Are you familiar with the songby Mandisa Overcomer?
Shannon (03:24):
I'm not sure.
I'm sure I've heard it.
Phil (03:26):
Good song.
You should look it up.
Yeah, I will.
Definitely.
But we know that through Jesus,we are overcomers.
Shannon (03:32):
Yes.
Phil (03:33):
So much
Shannon (03:33):
more than an overcomer.
Phil (03:34):
Amen.
Shannon, just take us back tothe beginning, like, where did
you grow up and what was yourhome life like as a child?
Shannon (03:44):
I, between my mother and father, I had the same
parents, same siblingsaltogether, didn't have a broken
home or anything like that, butthere was brokenness in the
home.
Oh, things weren't alwaysperfect, the struggles, the
tension, the stress, you got amother and a father and you're
raising four children thatsometimes aren't always the best
(04:06):
children.
Phil (04:07):
Where'd you fall in the mix?
Older, younger?
I'm
Shannon (04:09):
the baby of four.
Phil (04:10):
Okay.
Shannon (04:10):
Okay.
I come four years later after mymiddle sister.
But I had a good childhood.
I was a happy child.
I don't remember lackinganything as far as, I don't
remember going hungry oranything like that, or their
struggles.
But we were a product ofalcoholism and drug addiction.
Not immediate family, butthrough aunts and uncles,
(04:32):
grandparents.
So it was subjected to a lot ofdysfunction.
Phil (04:37):
So you hanging out with that extended family, you saw a
lot of alcohol, drug addiction,just a lot of dark things that
you were exposed to.
Shannon (04:47):
Yes.
Things that I thought was normallife, you know what I'm saying?
I thought that's just normal.
That's how people act or that'sjust the things they do because
it becomes acceptable in societythat's a lifestyle.
Phil (05:00):
Wow.
Shannon (05:00):
And then when you're not, you're not raised any
better.
I know in my immediate family,no drinking, no drugs or
anything like that.
We don't choose what we do.
It just happens.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't come out saying, oh, Iwant to grow up and be an
addict.
But that's exactly whathappened.
Phil (05:18):
Yeah.
We not
Shannon (05:19):
always,
Phil (05:20):
we begin to take steps in a certain direction and we just
continue that path and it leadsus where we never would've
imagined.
Shannon (05:26):
Yes.
Yes.
To a road of destruction bymaking poor choices in
relationships.
Phil (05:31):
So you had a stable family.
Yes.
You said there was brokennessinside your home, and now you,
some of that I assume was theaunts and uncles and that, but
was there brokenness, like inyour immediate family, like with
your siblings and your parents?
Shannon (05:46):
Yes.
Like my mother, being brought upa product of alcoholism and pill
popping.
Not with her herself, but withher parents.
Phil (05:55):
Yeah.
Shannon (05:56):
So we adapt and we adjust and we might not have the
right behavior as far asaddressing things correctly, you
know what I'm saying?
But your parents do the bestthey can in the situation at
hand.
And I don't pass judgment onthat.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I thank God for the struggles.
I thank God for the victory.
Phil (06:14):
Yeah.
Shannon (06:15):
Things are what they are.
They come from beginning of timewith Adam and Eve.
Phil (06:19):
Yeah.
Shannon (06:20):
It is what it is.
Sin
Phil (06:21):
is messed up.
A lot of things.
Shannon (06:23):
A lot of things.
Yeah.
But how we choose to address itis Yeah.
Totally different.
Phil (06:27):
Were you guys brought up in church or not really?
Shannon (06:31):
Yes, my mother got saved.
She was saved when I was a yearold.
Wow.
And had been living her life forChrist ever since.
Wow.
She'll be 75.
She'll be 80 in July, two daysafter I've turned 55.
Phil (06:44):
Yeah.
Shannon (06:44):
But brought up in church.
But even in church there wassome legalism that had come into
play.
I call it turn to burn.
Hell, fire brimstone.
You're going to hell for everylittle thing you do.
Phil (06:56):
Yeah.
Shannon (06:58):
And I say that and it sounds so bad.
It's so cliche, but it's not.
The foundation was there, theteaching was there, the
knowledge was there.
Had I known who God truly was,that forgiven God, that loving
God he's not that vengeful God,come as you are, he cleans you
(07:19):
up.
But I always thought no matterwhat I did, I was going to hell.
Phil (07:25):
Wow.
My
Shannon (07:25):
whole life being brought up and I was raised in
church.
But I see things differentlynow.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
But I think my views withthinking, oh, it's too hard
being a Christian.
I can't live like this.
It's like I spent every minuteof the day.
Did I do something wrong?
Did I chew me, get wrong?
Did I say something wrong?
Did I, for fear of going to hellmy whole childhood?
Phil (07:46):
Wow.
Shannon (07:47):
I thought I was gonna go to hell.
Phil (07:48):
And what city did you grow up in?
Shannon (07:49):
In Columbus, Georgia.
Phil (07:50):
Okay.
Shannon (07:51):
Born and raised here.
Matter of fact, I, living withmy mom at this current moment,
just staying with her, helpingher out.
I'm at the Grace House majorityof the time, but I go over there
and I'm helping her.
But it's the only house I'veever known.
I was born while at that house,wow.
Phil (08:06):
Now I assume you're probably, are you at a different
church now than what you werewhen you growing up?
Shannon (08:10):
I
Phil (08:10):
go to Evangel Church.
Really?
I just talked to the pastorthere this morning.
Shannon (08:15):
I love evangel, you talking about some faith-filled
saints that have held me so highwith prayer.
Wow.
The past six years.
That's the only way I've made itthrough.
I love that with being uplifted.
They're a big supporter of thesafe housing place.
They are.
Phil (08:32):
The, and I am continuing to learn more and more about the
far reaching impact of EvangelChurch in our community.
And I love it.
I just learned that Crosspointis a church plant from Evangel
Temple many years ago.
Shannon (08:46):
Yes.
Yes.
They're, that's awesome.
They're amazing.
They, the time that theydedicate to helping ladies and
helping just people, individual,you know what I'm saying?
The growth, the spiritual aspectof it.
They came and did a function, aMother's Day luncheon this past
Saturday over there and did likea tea party and the hats and for
(09:08):
those ladies, and it wasbeautiful.
Oh my gosh.
It was so amazing.
And I'm thinking, wow, you knowthe love, yeah.
The love of Christ.
And you see the love of Christin these ladies that come.
But Cascade Hills also came andplanted a garden yeah.
Friday night.
Awesome.
And did a Bible study, and Ibelieve a couple of'em came to
(09:29):
Christ.
That's awesome.
Stood up and made that bold,sense of faith that Wow.
And that's what it's about.
Phil (09:37):
Praise the Lord.
Shannon (09:37):
Do you love the Lord enough to stand up and say, Hey,
I choose you.
Phil (09:41):
Yeah.
That's so awesome.
At SafeHouse Ministries we loveand we help anybody Yes.
With no conditions.
Like we don't, you don't have todo any certain things.
You don't have to go todevotions, you don't have to go
to church services.
We just love you anyways.
We want you to get to knowJesus.
We want you to be saved, butwe'll love you and help you
(10:02):
regardless.
Yes.
Just like Jesus.
Yes.
Jesus healed and loved and just,everybody that he was around,
whether they received his truthor not, he hoped they would.
And I think it's, NeilRichardson has a quote that he
says sometimes that safe HouseMinistries doesn't exist to make
(10:22):
people's trip to hell morecomfortable.
So we want to help them in thisworld, but we realize that if
they get all the help and have agood life in this world, but
fail to receive Jesus, to beable to enter into the kingdom
eternally, it doesn't do himreally much of any good.
Shannon (10:40):
And the way I say it, one of my favorite phrases, I
said, God wants persistence, notperfection.
He does continuous growth.
Generous growth.
He.
He does the perfecting.
Yeah.
It's not us that do the perfect,that we do the perfecting, but
he does the perfecting, come asyou are.
(11:01):
Where we mess up so much is wethink that we have to be this
perfect model individual toenter into the house of the
Lord.
And that's not
Phil (11:09):
it's only Jesus.
Shannon (11:11):
Only Jesus.
Phil (11:11):
It's, yeah.
It's oh, praise the Lord too.
We don't realize it like wethink sometimes.
We think we can just earn ourway there, maybe by doing good
works and getting better and Iheard a preacher explain it so
well the other day.
He said, it's two ISISterrorists that are just on a
mission of evil to to, to domurder and harm.
(11:35):
And, but they're sittingsomewhere hiding out in a
mission and their two buddiesand one of'em forgot their lunch
and one brought their lunch andhe is oh man, here, let me share
my lunch with you and help youout.
Which is a good work, a kindwork, but it's worthless in the
midst of their total evilagenda.
And that's like us, like we arewretched sinners regardless.
(11:56):
And even all the little goodthings that we think we do
that's, like Isaiah said,they're filthy racks.
It's meaningless.
Wow.
So you grew up here in Columbus.
Went to a church that sadlyemphasized too much of the
legalism and condemnation and.
Forgot to emphasize the graceand love of Jesus.
Exactly.
(12:17):
So where did things start goingwrong for you, like your teenage
years?
Like how, just continue thestory on
Shannon (12:24):
it started hanging out and not having respect or love
for myself.
Okay.
Being raped at 14.
Wow.
That's,
Phil (12:34):
wow.
I'm so sorry.
That is
Shannon (12:36):
Wow.
And for the longest time Ithought I, it was my fault, you
know what I'm saying?
But the, as I grew no means no.
Phil (12:45):
Yeah.
Were you were at a someone'shouse or with a
Shannon (12:48):
friend?
And I think some drama went onwith at home, and I left and in
rage of anger,
Phil (12:56):
running away or running away from
Shannon (12:57):
the house, just was leaving, the situation.
But I remember going off with itthat one of my best friends she
was with her boyfriend and herolder brother and there was some
drinking involved and everythingelse.
And so you get a little bitincoherent.
And next thing situation arisesto where.
It's done and over, you knowwhat I'm saying?
Yeah.
But I thought had I not beendrinking, it wouldn't have been
(13:19):
my fault.
But still, I know now no meansno.
Yeah.
But I don't let that traumadefine God has a way of
intervening.
And I will say the person thatdone it now was sitting in
prison on a life sentence formurder.
Phil (13:35):
Wow.
Shannon (13:36):
Just seeing that in the media,
Phil (13:37):
they continued on in a path of darkness.
Shannon (13:39):
Yes.
Yes.
A path of darkness.
Wow.
Phil (13:42):
How did that impact you?
And from there, did you start tojust
Shannon (13:46):
drift away?
Yeah.
Yes.
I drifted away.
I ended up as years passed, nothaving respect for myself and I
get involved with this guy thathe was, the meanest thing wasn't
in the beginning, the firstthree months he, oh, I thought
he truly loved me.
But he beat ended, startedhitting on me, beat on me, like
(14:08):
I was a grown man.
Wow.
Phil (14:11):
How old were you at that point?
Shannon (14:12):
I was probably 16.
Wow.
Probably 16.
So had you
Phil (14:16):
totally left home at that point?
No, I was still at home.
Okay.
Shannon (14:20):
We tend to block things out.
I remember he'd bring me homeand I'd be so beat up on black
eyes.
Just what did your,
Phil (14:27):
how'd your parents respond to that?
Shannon (14:30):
What's so crazy, and I hate to even say this, but my
mother, but I don't remember, Imust have blocked it out, but
apparently he brought me homeone too many times.
She had chased him down with hiscar, with her car just to make a
point, you know what I'm saying?
And I think ended up traptrapping him at somebody's
house.
(14:50):
I don't recall it.
'cause we put on blinders, weblocked things out.
But even though your parents arealways going to fight for you or
come to your rescue but I didn'tsee things that way.
He had me in such a bondage thatit took my mother take me to
Atlanta and drop me off at myaunt's so I could get away from
(15:14):
him.
I had a nervous breakdown.
Wow.
Phil (15:16):
what do you think just drew you into that relationship?
Shannon (15:19):
kept me in the relationship.
Phil (15:21):
Yeah.
What and what drew you into it?
Shannon (15:23):
because the devil is so cunning with his tactics, the,
yeah.
The, what's the word I'm tryingto say?
The charisma aspect of it.
Yeah.
Here you have this guy and he'spaying you this attention and
it's great for three months.
And the wooing and the, just thefinesse of a relationship, the
(15:48):
enticement to get you drawn in.
And like I said, the first threemonths was great.
And then after that the controlof it he would dictate
everything in my life, push meaway from my family, push me
away from my cousins, push meaway.
But I couldn't have any friends,it was all about him.
Where are you at constantly.
And then if I spoke up or I'ddone something, that's when he
(16:10):
started hitting on me.
He was just, I don't know,broken himself.
But I see that now he come froma broken home.
He come from an alcoholicfather.
And he was the same charcharacteristics as his father,
but he, but I don't hold any.
(16:33):
Hatred toward that.
I don't, things are what theyare.
My views on life are just sodifferent now.
Yeah.
But I did get away from him.
Phil (16:43):
With your aunt in Atlanta?
Shannon (16:45):
With my aunt in Atlanta.
You were how
Phil (16:46):
old at that time?
Shannon (16:47):
Oh, probably 17.
Okay.
Like I said, my mother, she wasadamant and she was getting me
out of that relationship, butduring that relationship he had
beaten me up so bad, got mepregnant, I knew, didn't know
what to do, you know what I'msaying?
Phil (17:04):
So you're pregnant 17 at your aunt's house?
Shannon (17:08):
Yes.
Pregnant, 17, this before I wentto my aunt's.
Okay.
I ended up, he beat me up so badand left me for dead.
I was hemorrhaging.
Oh wow.
And it was a matter of, we triedto have the baby or it killing
the baby, killing me, killing usboth and all that.
But and I chose, to let them goahead and take the baby.
I was so messed up.
(17:29):
Wow.
And I lived with that guilt andshame.
That's where I think a lot of myheartache come from.
I lived with that guilt andshame that what if things
would've been different?
Had I had that child.
Phil (17:46):
How far along in the pregnancy were you?
Shannon (17:48):
I was probably about three, four months.
Okay.
But I was young.
I was so like, so messed upreally internally.
Yeah.
It was really doctor'srecommendation, that they
thought what was best and then Imade a choice.
Yeah.
I think if I had of been closerwith God, maybe I would've made
(18:08):
different decisions, but Ican't, decisions or decisions
are passed, grow and I learnfrom that decision, that choice.
Yeah.
Phil (18:16):
It's you're are talking about something that is a huge
situation, issue, culturalbattle in our society today.
Shannon (18:24):
Yes, very much
Phil (18:25):
and the, the good news is that baby's in heaven.
Shannon (18:27):
Yes.
Phil (18:28):
And so I have a child in heaven as well, but there are so
many young girls, teenage girls,that organizations like Planned
Parenthood or just trying tocoerce and get doctors to
persuade them to just.
To terminate, just get rid ofthese babies.
To terminate, just terminate.
And kill the babies.
And you don't need to raise thisbaby.
It's too much.
(18:48):
And, but they don't realize.
And I think you have expressedhow that affects you.
Shannon (18:55):
Yes.
Phil (18:56):
When it just it, it affects you deeply.
It's hard.
Shannon (19:00):
And I do, and I believe that was the beginning of just
not knowing my self worth Yeah.
My value.
I think I've held that grief forso long and I think that
trickled on and made the choicesthat I made, made it just
compounded everything.
(19:20):
Yes.
Yes.
Definitely.
Wow.
Because I dealt with that.
I didn't deal with that for solong.
That we stuff it.
Yeah.
We have a lot of people that arestuffers.
We stuff everything.
Instead of voicing everythingnow I voice everything.
I'm an open book and I will notstuff anything ever again.
If it bothers me, I'll bring itto surface.
I bet I pray about it before Ido.
(19:41):
Yeah.
There's a right way and a wrongway to handle and address
situations.
And I have to ask the HolySpirit really to guide me and
everything that I do.
Yeah.
'Cause I never wanna walk in theflesh.
I always wanna walk so obedientand so close to God that.
I know my path is straight.
I know that there's no doubt inmy mind that I'm on the right
(20:04):
road, yeah.
He didn't say it would be easy,that never road is not easy, but
it's so rewarding in the end.
Yeah.
But yeah.
Dealing with him, that situationand growing out of that, and I
got through that.
And then about 1920 I met myhusband.
Phil (20:27):
Yeah.
Shannon (20:28):
Yes.
Now
Phil (20:29):
you, did you graduate high school?
I graduated high school.
Okay.
Shannon (20:32):
With my class, it was by the grace of God.
'Cause I was still involved withhim at the beginning of my
school year.
Phil (20:37):
That bad relationship.
Shannon (20:38):
Yes.
I was still involved in that badrelationship.
Even when
Phil (20:40):
you went to Atlanta, was there still a connection?
Shannon (20:43):
No.
Phil (20:43):
Okay.
So that was, it was totally donethen.
Shannon (20:45):
Yes.
Totally done.
I just yeah, the mental aspect,but it took that my mother
taking me and leaving me to getme out of this area.
Yeah, separation.
Sometimes you have to depart andseparate from one another.
And that's what it took.
Phil (21:00):
And were you drinking or anything at that point?
Shannon (21:02):
Drinking drugging all of that.
Still smoking pot cocaine just
Phil (21:08):
at 17.
It just As a teenager?
Shannon (21:10):
Yes, as a teenager, and the party life.
But it wasn't, it wasrecreational.
It wasn't the deep bondage then.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You know how teenagers do andthey just party recreational.
And it was that it wasn't allthe time or anything, but the
relationship addiction initself.
Phil (21:30):
Now, which relationship?
That the bad relationship.
Okay.
Shannon (21:33):
I'm an addict, but my problem is I was a love seeker.
I think that was my firstaddiction to a relationship or
to a man or to somebody needingme.
To me, that was my firstaddiction.
I did dope to cope for sexualimmorality or not having the
(21:53):
proper love.
So I started incorporating thedrug aspect into my life because
I wasn't getting fulfilled inthat need and that love.
Yeah.
Or having somebody to care.
But yes, I did graduate highschool.
I worked, and I stayed sober,probably recreational parties
(22:13):
and everything.
But as a couple of years passed,like I said, I did meet my
husband.
Phil (22:18):
How'd you guys meet?
Shannon (22:19):
I actually met him when I was dating a guy that was Wow.
Not so good.
He was a friends friend of his,family.
Yeah.
Real good friends with my theguy that was very abusive.
My husband was friends with hissister.
Okay.
So years had passed and we justrun about you.
I you were still
Phil (22:35):
in Atlanta in this I was back in Columbus.
You had come to Columbus?
Yes.
Shannon (22:38):
I had come back to Columbus.
And my husband's best friend wasactually dating my cousin.
That's how I got into arelationship Okay.
With my husband.
And it was a good marriage.
Yeah, it was a good marriage.
I was with him almost 20 years.
Phil (22:52):
Wow.
Shannon (22:53):
But things weren't always great, he chose to work a
lot.
He was never home, so therefore,here I go, needing that love or
needing that compassion orneeding somebody to woo me.
Yeah.
It just wasn't there like itneeded to be.
Work was more important.
I felt like work was moreimportant to him
Phil (23:14):
Yeah.
Shannon (23:15):
Than the family,
Phil (23:16):
did you go outside and seek that with other men then
while you were married?
Shannon (23:19):
I did because he wasn't home.
I did wrong.
You know what I'm saying?
He was never there.
But yes, I did go seek that withother men
Phil (23:27):
throughout the whole time.
Shannon (23:29):
The first seven years of our marriage was great.
We had our daughter about fouryears later.
When I was 25.
I was getting ready to turn 26and had beautiful baby girl, but
he was still working all thetime.
He was not there all the time.
And I just lonely.
(23:49):
And so you start searching forsomebody to fulfill that need.
And it wasn't trying to have arelationship with one person
besides him.
It was, I was just trying tohave fulfillment besides him.
I needed somebody to just fill avoid.
Was it wrong?
And I knew it was wrong.
(24:12):
But me doing that, here comesthe guilt and the shame and the
drugs because I couldn't copewith why am I acting this way?
Why am I doing these things?
Why am I sleeping around on myhusband?
So I started doing dope, so Iwouldn't feel nothing.
Phil (24:30):
Wow.
As a way to just escape theguilt.
Yes.
Shannon (24:32):
To escape the guilt.
And, not a little drugs, I'mtalking about full throttle.
Wasn't paying my house payment,wasn't paying rent, wasn't
paying anything.
I lost my house, my car.
But my husband still stood by meand I would stayed sober and
this is probably after sevenyears and then I stayed sober
probably about six more years.
(24:53):
And my family trying to doright, begging God to take the
taste of dope outta my mouthwhen it should have been begging
God to take that taste of arelationship or a man outta my
mouth, so here I go, stay soberanother six years and just fast
forward, was your
Phil (25:08):
husband ever involved with the drugs or he,
Shannon (25:13):
in the beginning, yes.
Up until, I want to say maybefor the first 10 years we
recreational smoke pot, donethis, that, the other, yeah.
Phil (25:24):
But he never got into the cocaine or
Shannon (25:27):
he did a little bit recreational?
Yes.
Phil (25:29):
Okay.
Shannon (25:30):
Now I ended up getting arrested in 2000, no, in 1999.
I was married in 92, wasarrested in 1999.
Okay.
This was your first arrest fir Iwas arrested when I was younger,
but that was dismissed.
Hanging out with the wrongpeople at the wrong time.
Yeah.
(25:50):
They charged me, but they endedup dismissing that case'cause I
had no knowledge of what wenton.
The drug charges and how, myfirst arrest was 1999.
My daughter was three years old.
I was on cocaine so bad sellingit.
Oh wow.
Selling it.
I remember, a lot of guilt too.
(26:12):
I remember up on night sleep allday here I have a 2-year-old, a
3-year-old, and to forget tofeed my child and wake up.
And your daughter is gettinginto your stuff.
You don't know if she's beeninto the cocaine.
You don't know if she's whatshe's into.
I wasn't a being a good motherbecause I was broken.
(26:35):
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I did the best I could.
At the situation at hand, Iremember going on drug runs and
I'd leave her with just anyoneto make a drug run.
It took me a long time before Icould ever even say that.
And I forget, forgot to feed mydaughter, or I would leave her
with anybody or all four a fix,and that's what it was.
(26:58):
All four are high.
All four.
I call it people pleaing.
I sold dope.
It was like, oh, look, Shannon,here's the one that, she's got
it all.
She's got the dope, she's gotthe money, she's got the, it's
an illusion.
It's a bad illusion.
But that, so I was arrested.
Somebody set me up.
In 1999, and I stayed soberprobably seven years after that.
Phil (27:24):
Wow.
That was a shock and maybe awake up call of some type.
Shannon (27:28):
It was but I was still, I started sleeping around again
and not handling things right.
Then here comes back the drugsagain.
'cause the guilt, the shame.
Ugh.
Then I was arrested in 2007,stayed sober.
My husband still stuck by me.
(27:49):
He was a good man.
He was a good man.
He really, he is a good man, butI still wasn't getting something
that I needed from him, and Ididn't know how, when I should
have rested in, finding God'slove instead of an individual's
love.
Yeah.
And then in 2010 was my finalbreaking straw.
Phil (28:10):
Wow.
You just in quick passingdropped a huge piece of wisdom.
That.
You're just seeking fulfillmentand love.
Fulfillment.
Yes.
And acceptance.
And, but you're looking for ahuman to give you that.
Shannon (28:25):
And that's never going to happen.
I don't care if it's yourhusband or a loved one or a
mother or father.
There's nothing but the grace ofGod and the love that he gives
that can totally fulfilleverything in you beyond
recognition.
Wow.
I was looking, seeking for it inpeople.
Phil (28:46):
So you, your second arrest was when?
Shannon (28:48):
My first arrest was 1999.
My second arrest was 2007, mythird arrest 2010.
Phil (28:55):
Wow.
Shannon (28:56):
2010.
No, matter of fact, 2010 wasn'tan arrest.
I remember sitting, I wasstarted back on dope from 2007
to 2010.
Started back on dope, but Iremember sitting on the bed with
a gun in my hand fixing and blowmy brains out.
Phil (29:13):
Wow.
Shannon (29:15):
And God let me see myself laying off the bed and my
daughter walking in and findingme.
Phil (29:22):
And that shook you.
And you're like, I can't dothat.
Shannon (29:24):
I made a call to my friend and I said, I'm strung
out.
I'm on dope.
I don't know what else to do.
I called 9 1 1 and that's wheremy husband was working at the
time for the EMS.
Phil (29:37):
Really?
Shannon (29:38):
But he was not on shift that duty.
I think he was working somewhereelse but his friends and the
humiliation.
But they never treated me withdisrespect or anything.
They come and picked me up and Isaid, I want to die.
I want to die.
But I went into rehab then andI'm glad I went to the Bradley
Center'cause my mental debil, mymental capacity was just, it was
(30:02):
shot.
But when I went to the BradleyCenter, and I'm glad I was there
because that's when my husbandsaid, it's over.
I'm done.
And I knew he meant it, but Iwent into a rehab down in
Florida and I stayed good therefor the timeframe that I was
(30:23):
there, but never truly findingwhat's broken.
So when I come out, that was2010, I come out and just speed
up with where everything totallytook a turn for the worst.
When I come out, it was 2011 andI met the devil in blue jeans.
And that's the end of part oneof Shannon's incredible story.
(30:48):
So many things to ponder andthink about.
One thing I wanna point out andjust ask you to really consider,
Shannon talked about theunderlying root addiction that
she had that led to all theother addictions just as a way
of trying to escape and to mask,and that was her root addiction
(31:09):
of seeking companionship, love,fulfillment from men.
And There are many other peopleout there I know, maybe some
that are listening to thispodcast who are struggling with
that, who are struggling with anaddiction, a need to be, wanted
to be loved, to be touched, tobe fulfilled, and they're trying
(31:32):
to fill a void with a man.
Or maybe it's a man trying tofill a void with women.
And it will never happen.
And then the guilt sets in.
Then other addictions come intoplay, the drugs and other things
to try to mask the pain and thedisappointment and the heartache
and the sorrow, and it justspirals and gets worse and worse
(31:55):
and worse.
Shannon said at the end of thispodcast episode that she met the
devil in BlueJean, and next weekshe'll explain exactly why she
made that statement.
You do not want to miss nextweek.
It's gonna be really, reallygood.
It.
Shannon will continue her storyand she will also tell you about
(32:17):
the turn about what God did, howGod intervened, and the miracle
of transformation that tookplace when God finally stepped
in and got a hold of her heart.
So we will be back next week andwe look forward to being with
you then.
God bless you.
Phil Shuler (32:33):
We look forward to being with you again next week
as we share another testimonyabout the power and the goodness
of God to change lives throughSafe House Ministries.
if you are someone listening tothis podcast that loves to hear
these stories of the greatthings that God is doing in
changing people's lives for thebetter, and if you would like to
be a part of that work, pleasereach out to us You can reach us
(32:56):
at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus,Georgia, 31,904.
You can call us at seven oh sixthree two two.
3 7, 7 3, or you can email us atinfo@safehouse-ministries.com.
Microphone (Samson Q2U Mi (33:11):
Thank you so much for being with us
this week for the renew restoreand rejoice podcast of safe
house ministries, we pray thatGod will bless you this week.
And we look forward to havingyou back with us again next week
for a new episode.
I was begging God to let me die.
Phil (00:01):
Wow.
Shannon (00:02):
Begging him to let me die because the life I was
living was just, I couldn't doit no more.
And so death was my only wayout.
Wow.
Matter of fact, I was plottingmy death but God her intervened.
Phil Shuler (00:16):
HellO, and welcome to Renew, Restore, Rejoice, the
Safe House Ministries podcast,where we share stories of the
power of God to change livesthrough Safe House Ministries.
Safe House Ministries is basedout of Columbus, Georgia, and we
are a ministry that exists tolove and serve people who have
been affected by addiction,homelessness, and incarceration.
I'm your host, Phil Shuler, theDirector of Development for Safe
(00:38):
House Ministries here inColumbus, Georgia.
Safe House serves over 1, 100people each month as they
transition back into ourcommunity.
Safe House provides an abundanceof services including 213 beds
for homeless individuals andfamilies, case management for
obtaining job skills and longterm employment.
Over 300 hot meals every day,free clothing, and so much more.
(00:59):
One of the most incredibleservices that Safe House
provides is our free 9 12 monthintensive outpatient substance
abuse program, which is statelicensed, CARF accredited, and
has no wait list.
Almost 100 percent ofindividuals staying in our
shelters who follow our threephase program become fully
employed within a few months.
And 68 percent of individualswho stay at least one night with
(01:20):
us End up finding work andmoving into their own home.
Thank you for being with ustoday and listening to our
podcast.
We hope you enjoy this week'sepisode.
Phil (01:29):
Hello and welcome to the Safe House Ministries podcast
for today.
I'm very excited to have Shannonwith me this morning.
Shannon, what is your last nameagain?
Clark.
Clark Shannon Clark.
Yes.
Shannon again was someonerecommended to me by one of my
colleagues and I hear that shehas really an incredible
testimony a lot of crazy thingsin her past, but amazing things
(01:50):
that the Lord has done to bringher to where she is today.
So Shannon, I'm so glad to haveyou this morning.
I'm
Shannon (01:56):
so glad to be here.
Phil (01:57):
Yeah.
Shannon, I would love to ask youthe same question I ask
everybody else when we getstarted.
If there was one word that wouldbest describe you, what would
that word be?
Shannon (02:08):
Overcomer.
Phil (02:10):
That's a great word.
So what do you mean when you saythat?
Shannon (02:13):
Came, I saw I conquered.
Phil (02:15):
Yeah.
You sound like Julius Caesar.
Are you familiar with thatquote?
Yes.
Of Julius Caesar?
Shannon (02:19):
Yes.
But, through heartache andtrials rock bottom.
Phil (02:24):
Yeah.
Shannon (02:25):
To be able to pull yourself up, I'm gonna get
emotional.
To really hit your rock bottom,that death is your last option.
I was begging God to let me die.
Phil (02:35):
Wow.
Shannon (02:36):
Begging him to let me die because the life I was
living was just, I couldn't doit no more.
And so death was my only wayout.
Wow.
Matter of fact, I was plottingmy death but God her intervened.
Wow.
It starts out where, we grow upnot choosing our future or the
life that we're living.
We have so much expectations forwhere we wanna go in life.
(02:58):
Getting married, having kids,having a beautiful life.
I did succeed in that, butthroughout my whole life,
there's been trauma or addictionor inadequacy from getting in
relationships and, having badrelationships.
Phil (03:16):
Yeah.
Shannon (03:17):
People beating on you.
Phil (03:18):
Wow.
Overcomer is a great word.
Yes.
Are you familiar with the songby Mandisa Overcomer?
Shannon (03:24):
I'm not sure.
I'm sure I've heard it.
Phil (03:26):
Good song.
You should look it up.
Yeah, I will.
Definitely.
But we know that through Jesus,we are overcomers.
Shannon (03:32):
Yes.
Phil (03:33):
So much
Shannon (03:33):
more than an overcomer.
Phil (03:34):
Amen.
Shannon, just take us back tothe beginning, like, where did
you grow up and what was yourhome life like as a child?
Shannon (03:44):
I, between my mother and father, I had the same
parents, same siblingsaltogether, didn't have a broken
home or anything like that, butthere was brokenness in the
home.
Oh, things weren't alwaysperfect, the struggles, the
tension, the stress, you got amother and a father and you're
raising four children thatsometimes aren't always the best
(04:06):
children.
Phil (04:07):
Where'd you fall in the mix?
Older, younger?
I'm
Shannon (04:09):
the baby of four.
Phil (04:10):
Okay.
Shannon (04:10):
Okay.
I come four years later after mymiddle sister.
But I had a good childhood.
I was a happy child.
I don't remember lackinganything as far as, I don't
remember going hungry oranything like that, or their
struggles.
But we were a product ofalcoholism and drug addiction.
Not immediate family, butthrough aunts and uncles,
(04:32):
grandparents.
So it was subjected to a lot ofdysfunction.
Phil (04:37):
So you hanging out with that extended family, you saw a
lot of alcohol, drug addiction,just a lot of dark things that
you were exposed to.
Shannon (04:47):
Yes.
Things that I thought was normallife, you know what I'm saying?
I thought that's just normal.
That's how people act or that'sjust the things they do because
it becomes acceptable in societythat's a lifestyle.
Phil (05:00):
Wow.
Shannon (05:00):
And then when you're not, you're not raised any
better.
I know in my immediate family,no drinking, no drugs or
anything like that.
We don't choose what we do.
It just happens.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't come out saying, oh, Iwant to grow up and be an
addict.
But that's exactly whathappened.
Phil (05:18):
Yeah.
We not
Shannon (05:19):
always,
Phil (05:20):
we begin to take steps in a certain direction and we just
continue that path and it leadsus where we never would've
imagined.
Shannon (05:26):
Yes.
Yes.
To a road of destruction bymaking poor choices in
relationships.
Phil (05:31):
So you had a stable family.
Yes.
You said there was brokennessinside your home, and now you,
some of that I assume was theaunts and uncles and that, but
was there brokenness, like inyour immediate family, like with
your siblings and your parents?
Shannon (05:46):
Yes.
Like my mother, being brought upa product of alcoholism and pill
popping.
Not with her herself, but withher parents.
Phil (05:55):
Yeah.
Shannon (05:56):
So we adapt and we adjust and we might not have the
right behavior as far asaddressing things correctly, you
know what I'm saying?
But your parents do the bestthey can in the situation at
hand.
And I don't pass judgment onthat.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I thank God for the struggles.
I thank God for the victory.
Phil (06:14):
Yeah.
Shannon (06:15):
Things are what they are.
They come from beginning of timewith Adam and Eve.
Phil (06:19):
Yeah.
Shannon (06:20):
It is what it is.
Sin
Phil (06:21):
is messed up.
A lot of things.
Shannon (06:23):
A lot of things.
Yeah.
But how we choose to address itis Yeah.
Totally different.
Phil (06:27):
Were you guys brought up in church or not really?
Shannon (06:31):
Yes, my mother got saved.
She was saved when I was a yearold.
Wow.
And had been living her life forChrist ever since.
Wow.
She'll be 75.
She'll be 80 in July, two daysafter I've turned 55.
Phil (06:44):
Yeah.
Shannon (06:44):
But brought up in church.
But even in church there wassome legalism that had come into
play.
I call it turn to burn.
Hell, fire brimstone.
You're going to hell for everylittle thing you do.
Phil (06:56):
Yeah.
Shannon (06:58):
And I say that and it sounds so bad.
It's so cliche, but it's not.
The foundation was there, theteaching was there, the
knowledge was there.
Had I known who God truly was,that forgiven God, that loving
God he's not that vengeful God,come as you are, he cleans you
(07:19):
up.
But I always thought no matterwhat I did, I was going to hell.
Phil (07:25):
Wow.
My
Shannon (07:25):
whole life being brought up and I was raised in
church.
But I see things differentlynow.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
But I think my views withthinking, oh, it's too hard
being a Christian.
I can't live like this.
It's like I spent every minuteof the day.
Did I do something wrong?
Did I chew me, get wrong?
Did I say something wrong?
Did I, for fear of going to hellmy whole childhood?
Phil (07:46):
Wow.
Shannon (07:47):
I thought I was gonna go to hell.
Phil (07:48):
And what city did you grow up in?
Shannon (07:49):
In Columbus, Georgia.
Phil (07:50):
Okay.
Shannon (07:51):
Born and raised here.
Matter of fact, I, living withmy mom at this current moment,
just staying with her, helpingher out.
I'm at the Grace House majorityof the time, but I go over there
and I'm helping her.
But it's the only house I'veever known.
I was born while at that house,wow.
Phil (08:06):
Now I assume you're probably, are you at a different
church now than what you werewhen you growing up?
Shannon (08:10):
I
Phil (08:10):
go to Evangel Church.
Really?
I just talked to the pastorthere this morning.
Shannon (08:15):
I love evangel, you talking about some faith-filled
saints that have held me so highwith prayer.
Wow.
The past six years.
That's the only way I've made itthrough.
I love that with being uplifted.
They're a big supporter of thesafe housing place.
They are.
Phil (08:32):
The, and I am continuing to learn more and more about the
far reaching impact of EvangelChurch in our community.
And I love it.
I just learned that Crosspointis a church plant from Evangel
Temple many years ago.
Shannon (08:46):
Yes.
Yes.
They're, that's awesome.
They're amazing.
They, the time that theydedicate to helping ladies and
helping just people, individual,you know what I'm saying?
The growth, the spiritual aspectof it.
They came and did a function, aMother's Day luncheon this past
Saturday over there and did likea tea party and the hats and for
(09:08):
those ladies, and it wasbeautiful.
Oh my gosh.
It was so amazing.
And I'm thinking, wow, you knowthe love, yeah.
The love of Christ.
And you see the love of Christin these ladies that come.
But Cascade Hills also came andplanted a garden yeah.
Friday night.
Awesome.
And did a Bible study, and Ibelieve a couple of'em came to
(09:29):
Christ.
That's awesome.
Stood up and made that bold,sense of faith that Wow.
And that's what it's about.
Phil (09:37):
Praise the Lord.
Shannon (09:37):
Do you love the Lord enough to stand up and say, Hey,
I choose you.
Phil (09:41):
Yeah.
That's so awesome.
At SafeHouse Ministries we loveand we help anybody Yes.
With no conditions.
Like we don't, you don't have todo any certain things.
You don't have to go todevotions, you don't have to go
to church services.
We just love you anyways.
We want you to get to knowJesus.
We want you to be saved, butwe'll love you and help you
(10:02):
regardless.
Yes.
Just like Jesus.
Yes.
Jesus healed and loved and just,everybody that he was around,
whether they received his truthor not, he hoped they would.
And I think it's, NeilRichardson has a quote that he
says sometimes that safe HouseMinistries doesn't exist to make
(10:22):
people's trip to hell morecomfortable.
So we want to help them in thisworld, but we realize that if
they get all the help and have agood life in this world, but
fail to receive Jesus, to beable to enter into the kingdom
eternally, it doesn't do himreally much of any good.
Shannon (10:40):
And the way I say it, one of my favorite phrases, I
said, God wants persistence, notperfection.
He does continuous growth.
Generous growth.
He.
He does the perfecting.
Yeah.
It's not us that do the perfect,that we do the perfecting, but
he does the perfecting, come asyou are.
(11:01):
Where we mess up so much is wethink that we have to be this
perfect model individual toenter into the house of the
Lord.
And that's not
Phil (11:09):
it's only Jesus.
Shannon (11:11):
Only Jesus.
Phil (11:11):
It's, yeah.
It's oh, praise the Lord too.
We don't realize it like wethink sometimes.
We think we can just earn ourway there, maybe by doing good
works and getting better and Iheard a preacher explain it so
well the other day.
He said, it's two ISISterrorists that are just on a
mission of evil to to, to domurder and harm.
(11:35):
And, but they're sittingsomewhere hiding out in a
mission and their two buddiesand one of'em forgot their lunch
and one brought their lunch andhe is oh man, here, let me share
my lunch with you and help youout.
Which is a good work, a kindwork, but it's worthless in the
midst of their total evilagenda.
And that's like us, like we arewretched sinners regardless.
(11:56):
And even all the little goodthings that we think we do
that's, like Isaiah said,they're filthy racks.
It's meaningless.
Wow.
So you grew up here in Columbus.
Went to a church that sadlyemphasized too much of the
legalism and condemnation and.
Forgot to emphasize the graceand love of Jesus.
Exactly.
(12:17):
So where did things start goingwrong for you, like your teenage
years?
Like how, just continue thestory on
Shannon (12:24):
it started hanging out and not having respect or love
for myself.
Okay.
Being raped at 14.
Wow.
That's,
Phil (12:34):
wow.
I'm so sorry.
That is
Shannon (12:36):
Wow.
And for the longest time Ithought I, it was my fault, you
know what I'm saying?
But the, as I grew no means no.
Phil (12:45):
Yeah.
Were you were at a someone'shouse or with a
Shannon (12:48):
friend?
And I think some drama went onwith at home, and I left and in
rage of anger,
Phil (12:56):
running away or running away from
Shannon (12:57):
the house, just was leaving, the situation.
But I remember going off with itthat one of my best friends she
was with her boyfriend and herolder brother and there was some
drinking involved and everythingelse.
And so you get a little bitincoherent.
And next thing situation arisesto where.
It's done and over, you knowwhat I'm saying?
Yeah.
But I thought had I not beendrinking, it wouldn't have been
(13:19):
my fault.
But still, I know now no meansno.
Yeah.
But I don't let that traumadefine God has a way of
intervening.
And I will say the person thatdone it now was sitting in
prison on a life sentence formurder.
Phil (13:35):
Wow.
Shannon (13:36):
Just seeing that in the media,
Phil (13:37):
they continued on in a path of darkness.
Shannon (13:39):
Yes.
Yes.
A path of darkness.
Wow.
Phil (13:42):
How did that impact you?
And from there, did you start tojust
Shannon (13:46):
drift away?
Yeah.
Yes.
I drifted away.
I ended up as years passed, nothaving respect for myself and I
get involved with this guy thathe was, the meanest thing wasn't
in the beginning, the firstthree months he, oh, I thought
he truly loved me.
But he beat ended, startedhitting on me, beat on me, like
(14:08):
I was a grown man.
Wow.
Phil (14:11):
How old were you at that point?
Shannon (14:12):
I was probably 16.
Wow.
Probably 16.
So had you
Phil (14:16):
totally left home at that point?
No, I was still at home.
Okay.
Shannon (14:20):
We tend to block things out.
I remember he'd bring me homeand I'd be so beat up on black
eyes.
Just what did your,
Phil (14:27):
how'd your parents respond to that?
Shannon (14:30):
What's so crazy, and I hate to even say this, but my
mother, but I don't remember, Imust have blocked it out, but
apparently he brought me homeone too many times.
She had chased him down with hiscar, with her car just to make a
point, you know what I'm saying?
And I think ended up traptrapping him at somebody's
house.
(14:50):
I don't recall it.
'cause we put on blinders, weblocked things out.
But even though your parents arealways going to fight for you or
come to your rescue but I didn'tsee things that way.
He had me in such a bondage thatit took my mother take me to
Atlanta and drop me off at myaunt's so I could get away from
(15:14):
him.
I had a nervous breakdown.
Wow.
Phil (15:16):
what do you think just drew you into that relationship?
Shannon (15:19):
kept me in the relationship.
Phil (15:21):
Yeah.
What and what drew you into it?
Shannon (15:23):
because the devil is so cunning with his tactics, the,
yeah.
The, what's the word I'm tryingto say?
The charisma aspect of it.
Yeah.
Here you have this guy and he'spaying you this attention and
it's great for three months.
And the wooing and the, just thefinesse of a relationship, the
(15:48):
enticement to get you drawn in.
And like I said, the first threemonths was great.
And then after that the controlof it he would dictate
everything in my life, push meaway from my family, push me
away from my cousins, push meaway.
But I couldn't have any friends,it was all about him.
Where are you at constantly.
And then if I spoke up or I'ddone something, that's when he
(16:10):
started hitting on me.
He was just, I don't know,broken himself.
But I see that now he come froma broken home.
He come from an alcoholicfather.
And he was the same charcharacteristics as his father,
but he, but I don't hold any.
(16:33):
Hatred toward that.
I don't, things are what theyare.
My views on life are just sodifferent now.
Yeah.
But I did get away from him.
Phil (16:43):
With your aunt in Atlanta?
Shannon (16:45):
With my aunt in Atlanta.
You were how
Phil (16:46):
old at that time?
Shannon (16:47):
Oh, probably 17.
Okay.
Like I said, my mother, she wasadamant and she was getting me
out of that relationship, butduring that relationship he had
beaten me up so bad, got mepregnant, I knew, didn't know
what to do, you know what I'msaying?
Phil (17:04):
So you're pregnant 17 at your aunt's house?
Shannon (17:08):
Yes.
Pregnant, 17, this before I wentto my aunt's.
Okay.
I ended up, he beat me up so badand left me for dead.
I was hemorrhaging.
Oh wow.
And it was a matter of, we triedto have the baby or it killing
the baby, killing me, killing usboth and all that.
But and I chose, to let them goahead and take the baby.
I was so messed up.
(17:29):
Wow.
And I lived with that guilt andshame.
That's where I think a lot of myheartache come from.
I lived with that guilt andshame that what if things
would've been different?
Had I had that child.
Phil (17:46):
How far along in the pregnancy were you?
Shannon (17:48):
I was probably about three, four months.
Okay.
But I was young.
I was so like, so messed upreally internally.
Yeah.
It was really doctor'srecommendation, that they
thought what was best and then Imade a choice.
Yeah.
I think if I had of been closerwith God, maybe I would've made
(18:08):
different decisions, but Ican't, decisions or decisions
are passed, grow and I learnfrom that decision, that choice.
Yeah.
Phil (18:16):
It's you're are talking about something that is a huge
situation, issue, culturalbattle in our society today.
Shannon (18:24):
Yes, very much
Phil (18:25):
and the, the good news is that baby's in heaven.
Shannon (18:27):
Yes.
Phil (18:28):
And so I have a child in heaven as well, but there are so
many young girls, teenage girls,that organizations like Planned
Parenthood or just trying tocoerce and get doctors to
persuade them to just.
To terminate, just get rid ofthese babies.
To terminate, just terminate.
And kill the babies.
And you don't need to raise thisbaby.
It's too much.
(18:48):
And, but they don't realize.
And I think you have expressedhow that affects you.
Shannon (18:55):
Yes.
Phil (18:56):
When it just it, it affects you deeply.
It's hard.
Shannon (19:00):
And I do, and I believe that was the beginning of just
not knowing my self worth Yeah.
My value.
I think I've held that grief forso long and I think that
trickled on and made the choicesthat I made, made it just
compounded everything.
(19:20):
Yes.
Yes.
Definitely.
Wow.
Because I dealt with that.
I didn't deal with that for solong.
That we stuff it.
Yeah.
We have a lot of people that arestuffers.
We stuff everything.
Instead of voicing everythingnow I voice everything.
I'm an open book and I will notstuff anything ever again.
If it bothers me, I'll bring itto surface.
I bet I pray about it before Ido.
(19:41):
Yeah.
There's a right way and a wrongway to handle and address
situations.
And I have to ask the HolySpirit really to guide me and
everything that I do.
Yeah.
'Cause I never wanna walk in theflesh.
I always wanna walk so obedientand so close to God that.
I know my path is straight.
I know that there's no doubt inmy mind that I'm on the right
(20:04):
road, yeah.
He didn't say it would be easy,that never road is not easy, but
it's so rewarding in the end.
Yeah.
But yeah.
Dealing with him, that situationand growing out of that, and I
got through that.
And then about 1920 I met myhusband.
Phil (20:27):
Yeah.
Shannon (20:28):
Yes.
Now
Phil (20:29):
you, did you graduate high school?
I graduated high school.
Okay.
Shannon (20:32):
With my class, it was by the grace of God.
'Cause I was still involved withhim at the beginning of my
school year.
Phil (20:37):
That bad relationship.
Shannon (20:38):
Yes.
I was still involved in that badrelationship.
Even when
Phil (20:40):
you went to Atlanta, was there still a connection?
Shannon (20:43):
No.
Phil (20:43):
Okay.
So that was, it was totally donethen.
Shannon (20:45):
Yes.
Totally done.
I just yeah, the mental aspect,but it took that my mother
taking me and leaving me to getme out of this area.
Yeah, separation.
Sometimes you have to depart andseparate from one another.
And that's what it took.
Phil (21:00):
And were you drinking or anything at that point?
Shannon (21:02):
Drinking drugging all of that.
Still smoking pot cocaine just
Phil (21:08):
at 17.
It just As a teenager?
Shannon (21:10):
Yes, as a teenager, and the party life.
But it wasn't, it wasrecreational.
It wasn't the deep bondage then.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You know how teenagers do andthey just party recreational.
And it was that it wasn't allthe time or anything, but the
relationship addiction initself.
Phil (21:30):
Now, which relationship?
That the bad relationship.
Okay.
Shannon (21:33):
I'm an addict, but my problem is I was a love seeker.
I think that was my firstaddiction to a relationship or
to a man or to somebody needingme.
To me, that was my firstaddiction.
I did dope to cope for sexualimmorality or not having the
(21:53):
proper love.
So I started incorporating thedrug aspect into my life because
I wasn't getting fulfilled inthat need and that love.
Yeah.
Or having somebody to care.
But yes, I did graduate highschool.
I worked, and I stayed sober,probably recreational parties
(22:13):
and everything.
But as a couple of years passed,like I said, I did meet my
husband.
Phil (22:18):
How'd you guys meet?
Shannon (22:19):
I actually met him when I was dating a guy that was Wow.
Not so good.
He was a friends friend of his,family.
Yeah.
Real good friends with my theguy that was very abusive.
My husband was friends with hissister.
Okay.
So years had passed and we justrun about you.
I you were still
Phil (22:35):
in Atlanta in this I was back in Columbus.
You had come to Columbus?
Yes.
Shannon (22:38):
I had come back to Columbus.
And my husband's best friend wasactually dating my cousin.
That's how I got into arelationship Okay.
With my husband.
And it was a good marriage.
Yeah, it was a good marriage.
I was with him almost 20 years.
Phil (22:52):
Wow.
Shannon (22:53):
But things weren't always great, he chose to work a
lot.
He was never home, so therefore,here I go, needing that love or
needing that compassion orneeding somebody to woo me.
Yeah.
It just wasn't there like itneeded to be.
Work was more important.
I felt like work was moreimportant to him
Phil (23:14):
Yeah.
Shannon (23:15):
Than the family,
Phil (23:16):
did you go outside and seek that with other men then
while you were married?
Shannon (23:19):
I did because he wasn't home.
I did wrong.
You know what I'm saying?
He was never there.
But yes, I did go seek that withother men
Phil (23:27):
throughout the whole time.
Shannon (23:29):
The first seven years of our marriage was great.
We had our daughter about fouryears later.
When I was 25.
I was getting ready to turn 26and had beautiful baby girl, but
he was still working all thetime.
He was not there all the time.
And I just lonely.
(23:49):
And so you start searching forsomebody to fulfill that need.
And it wasn't trying to have arelationship with one person
besides him.
It was, I was just trying tohave fulfillment besides him.
I needed somebody to just fill avoid.
Was it wrong?
And I knew it was wrong.
(24:12):
But me doing that, here comesthe guilt and the shame and the
drugs because I couldn't copewith why am I acting this way?
Why am I doing these things?
Why am I sleeping around on myhusband?
So I started doing dope, so Iwouldn't feel nothing.
Phil (24:30):
Wow.
As a way to just escape theguilt.
Yes.
Shannon (24:32):
To escape the guilt.
And, not a little drugs, I'mtalking about full throttle.
Wasn't paying my house payment,wasn't paying rent, wasn't
paying anything.
I lost my house, my car.
But my husband still stood by meand I would stayed sober and
this is probably after sevenyears and then I stayed sober
probably about six more years.
(24:53):
And my family trying to doright, begging God to take the
taste of dope outta my mouthwhen it should have been begging
God to take that taste of arelationship or a man outta my
mouth, so here I go, stay soberanother six years and just fast
forward, was your
Phil (25:08):
husband ever involved with the drugs or he,
Shannon (25:13):
in the beginning, yes.
Up until, I want to say maybefor the first 10 years we
recreational smoke pot, donethis, that, the other, yeah.
Phil (25:24):
But he never got into the cocaine or
Shannon (25:27):
he did a little bit recreational?
Yes.
Phil (25:29):
Okay.
Shannon (25:30):
Now I ended up getting arrested in 2000, no, in 1999.
I was married in 92, wasarrested in 1999.
Okay.
This was your first arrest fir Iwas arrested when I was younger,
but that was dismissed.
Hanging out with the wrongpeople at the wrong time.
Yeah.
(25:50):
They charged me, but they endedup dismissing that case'cause I
had no knowledge of what wenton.
The drug charges and how, myfirst arrest was 1999.
My daughter was three years old.
I was on cocaine so bad sellingit.
Oh wow.
Selling it.
I remember, a lot of guilt too.
(26:12):
I remember up on night sleep allday here I have a 2-year-old, a
3-year-old, and to forget tofeed my child and wake up.
And your daughter is gettinginto your stuff.
You don't know if she's beeninto the cocaine.
You don't know if she's whatshe's into.
I wasn't a being a good motherbecause I was broken.
(26:35):
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I did the best I could.
At the situation at hand, Iremember going on drug runs and
I'd leave her with just anyoneto make a drug run.
It took me a long time before Icould ever even say that.
And I forget, forgot to feed mydaughter, or I would leave her
with anybody or all four a fix,and that's what it was.
(26:58):
All four are high.
All four.
I call it people pleaing.
I sold dope.
It was like, oh, look, Shannon,here's the one that, she's got
it all.
She's got the dope, she's gotthe money, she's got the, it's
an illusion.
It's a bad illusion.
But that, so I was arrested.
Somebody set me up.
In 1999, and I stayed soberprobably seven years after that.
Phil (27:24):
Wow.
That was a shock and maybe awake up call of some type.
Shannon (27:28):
It was but I was still, I started sleeping around again
and not handling things right.
Then here comes back the drugsagain.
'cause the guilt, the shame.
Ugh.
Then I was arrested in 2007,stayed sober.
My husband still stuck by me.
(27:49):
He was a good man.
He was a good man.
He really, he is a good man, butI still wasn't getting something
that I needed from him, and Ididn't know how, when I should
have rested in, finding God'slove instead of an individual's
love.
Yeah.
And then in 2010 was my finalbreaking straw.
Phil (28:10):
Wow.
You just in quick passingdropped a huge piece of wisdom.
That.
You're just seeking fulfillmentand love.
Fulfillment.
Yes.
And acceptance.
And, but you're looking for ahuman to give you that.
Shannon (28:25):
And that's never going to happen.
I don't care if it's yourhusband or a loved one or a
mother or father.
There's nothing but the grace ofGod and the love that he gives
that can totally fulfilleverything in you beyond
recognition.
Wow.
I was looking, seeking for it inpeople.
Phil (28:46):
So you, your second arrest was when?
Shannon (28:48):
My first arrest was 1999.
My second arrest was 2007, mythird arrest 2010.
Phil (28:55):
Wow.
Shannon (28:56):
2010.
No, matter of fact, 2010 wasn'tan arrest.
I remember sitting, I wasstarted back on dope from 2007
to 2010.
Started back on dope, but Iremember sitting on the bed with
a gun in my hand fixing and blowmy brains out.
Phil (29:13):
Wow.
Shannon (29:15):
And God let me see myself laying off the bed and my
daughter walking in and findingme.
Phil (29:22):
And that shook you.
And you're like, I can't dothat.
Shannon (29:24):
I made a call to my friend and I said, I'm strung
out.
I'm on dope.
I don't know what else to do.
I called 9 1 1 and that's wheremy husband was working at the
time for the EMS.
Phil (29:37):
Really?
Shannon (29:38):
But he was not on shift that duty.
I think he was working somewhereelse but his friends and the
humiliation.
But they never treated me withdisrespect or anything.
They come and picked me up and Isaid, I want to die.
I want to die.
But I went into rehab then andI'm glad I went to the Bradley
Center'cause my mental debil, mymental capacity was just, it was
(30:02):
shot.
But when I went to the BradleyCenter, and I'm glad I was there
because that's when my husbandsaid, it's over.
I'm done.
And I knew he meant it, but Iwent into a rehab down in
Florida and I stayed good therefor the timeframe that I was
(30:23):
there, but never truly findingwhat's broken.
So when I come out, that was2010, I come out and just speed
up with where everything totallytook a turn for the worst.
When I come out, it was 2011 andI met the devil in blue jeans.
And that's the end of part oneof Shannon's incredible story.
(30:48):
So many things to ponder andthink about.
One thing I wanna point out andjust ask you to really consider,
Shannon talked about theunderlying root addiction that
she had that led to all theother addictions just as a way
of trying to escape and to mask,and that was her root addiction
(31:09):
of seeking companionship, love,fulfillment from men.
And There are many other peopleout there I know, maybe some
that are listening to thispodcast who are struggling with
that, who are struggling with anaddiction, a need to be, wanted
to be loved, to be touched, tobe fulfilled, and they're trying
(31:32):
to fill a void with a man.
Or maybe it's a man trying tofill a void with women.
And it will never happen.
And then the guilt sets in.
Then other addictions come intoplay, the drugs and other things
to try to mask the pain and thedisappointment and the heartache
and the sorrow, and it justspirals and gets worse and worse
(31:55):
and worse.
Shannon said at the end of thispodcast episode that she met the
devil in BlueJean, and next weekshe'll explain exactly why she
made that statement.
You do not want to miss nextweek.
It's gonna be really, reallygood.
It.
Shannon will continue her storyand she will also tell you about
(32:17):
the turn about what God did, howGod intervened, and the miracle
of transformation that tookplace when God finally stepped
in and got a hold of her heart.
So we will be back next week andwe look forward to being with
you then.
God bless you.
Phil Shuler (32:33):
We look forward to being with you again next week
as we share another testimonyabout the power and the goodness
of God to change lives throughSafe House Ministries.
if you are someone listening tothis podcast that loves to hear
these stories of the greatthings that God is doing in
changing people's lives for thebetter, and if you would like to
be a part of that work, pleasereach out to us You can reach us
(32:56):
at 2101 Hamilton Road, Columbus,Georgia, 31,904.
You can call us at seven oh sixthree two two.
3 7, 7 3, or you can email us atinfo@safehouse-ministries.com.
Microphone (Samson Q2U Mi (33:11):
Thank you so much for being with us
this week for the renew restoreand rejoice podcast of safe
house ministries, we pray thatGod will bless you this week.
And we look forward to havingyou back with us again next week
for a new episode.
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