July 15, 2025 • 39 mins
When was the last time you truly listened to your body's wisdom instead of your conditioned "shoulds"? Megan Lambert, author of "Eros: The Journey Home" and creator of the Los Gatos Mama's Circle, offers a compelling perspective on reconnecting with our intuition and desires.
"Guilt is the moment when your desire runs contrary to your conditioning," Megan shares, articulating why so many women—especially mothers—struggle to trust their inner knowing. From early childhood, we're taught to follow rules and put others first, creating a disconnect between our authentic selves and our learned behaviors.
But what if our desires aren't selfish indulgences but sacred guidance? Megan reframes Eros not simply as romantic love but as "the feminine embodied soul, creative life force" that brings color to our existence. This life force speaks not through logical pros and cons lists, but through our bodies—our gut, heart, and pelvis—and learning to listen requires reconnecting with ourselves below the neck.
Through her Mama's Circle gatherings, Megan creates spaces where women can share without judgment, be witnessed in their stories, and remember parts of themselves they thought were lost. Using the beautiful metaphor of redwood trees that appear separate above ground but remain connected through their roots, she illuminates how women can support each other while maintaining their unique identities.
Whether you're a mother by birth, adoption, or through nurturing projects, communities, or creative works, Megan's wisdom offers a path back to yourself. Follow her on Instagram @MeganDLambert or explore her book to discover practices that might help you reconnect with your own intuition, desire, and the full spectrum of your being.
What forgotten parts of yourself are waiting for an invitation to emerge? When might you create space to listen to your body's quieter voice?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tonya J. Long (00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome to NorCal Narratives
, broadcasting on KPCR 92.9.
Pirate Cat Radio, your space tomeet the people and the ideas
shaping our community and beyond.
I'm Tonya Long and today wehave a very special guest whose
story and work speak directly tothe heart of what it means to
(00:22):
live fully and love deeply.
So Megan Lambert is an author,she's a coach, she's a speaker
and she is the creator of theLos Gatos Mama's Circle.
That happens this Thursdayevening five o'clock in Los
Gatos.
We'll talk a lot more aboutthat.
Can't wait to roll up oursleeves and dig in with Megan.
(00:44):
She's the author of thebest-selling book Eros, the
Journey Home.
Also, she has a pretty deeppodcast called Eros Mama.
So a lot of her focus is onmotherhood love and we're going
to dig into that definition ofEros and her being a passionate
advocate for creating spaceswhere women, and especially
(01:06):
mamas, can explore their stories.
So, Megan, welcome to the show.
It is such a pleasure to haveyou here.
Megan Lambert (01:15):
Thank you.
It is such a pleasure to behere.
Thank you for inviting me.
Tonya J. Long (01:19):
I'm thrilled.
You have a background.
You've lived multiple lives andyou're not an older adult, you,
but you were a consultant, andthen you were then completely
different.
You were a retreat leader inBali.
I've mentioned yourbest-selling author.
Now you have two children underthe age of five, if I recall.
(01:41):
So what was the?
Thread that connected all thoseresets for you.
Megan Lambert (01:48):
Yeah, it's interesting.
I think sometimes, when I'm inthe moment, I'm just following
the pulse of aliveness or desireand I'm like I don't know what.
The thread is right.
Tonya J. Long (01:57):
It's just, it can seem random but then when I
look back I'm like oh, it'sthere right, and so for me, a
couple of threads have emerged.
Megan Lambert (02:06):
One is relationship.
I've always been fascinated bythe study of relationship and
connection and what bringspeople together and how do we
stay together.
I joke, my parents weredivorced when I was little and
it's part trauma, part curiosity, but I studied that in in
university.
In all of my personal life Iwas studying relationship men,
(02:28):
women, dynamics, masculine,feminine and at the same time
I've been curious about thisthreat of leadership.
So what kind of models ofleadership do we need as the
world is rapidly changing?
I love it and those were my twotracks in college.
Didn't know how to make aliving on the relationship one,
so I went for the leadership one, became a leadership consultant
to Fortune 500 companies andworked with teams and leaders,
(02:51):
and they were part of the bigquestions I wanted to ask.
It's like why are you here?
Tonya J. Long (03:09):
Amazing.
Megan Lambert (03:10):
How do we come together, what's the world that
we want to build together andwhat's each of our unique roles
in building that world?
And I found the companies I wasworking with.
They didn't necessarily want togo there.
They wanted to figure outstrategy and profitability, and
(03:30):
so I left the corporate world,started my own life coaching
business and then moved to Balibecause that's the hub of eat,
pray, love, personaltransformation, deep dives,
reset.
Yeah.
Then I lived in Bali for sevenyears, met my husband.
He was also doing masculine,masculine feminine work, leading
yoga teacher trainings, andthen we started working together
as well, doing women's retreats, men's retreat, couples retreat
.
That's such, all of that yeah,keep going yeah.
(03:56):
So I would say we did a realdeep dive in bali on personal
transformation and then for me,I'm at another reset coming back
.
We're coming back to cal, santaCruz, and a lot of my curiosity
is like how do you take theinner transformation and create
outer change in the systems andstructures?
Tonya J. Long (04:13):
we live in.
Megan Lambert (04:14):
And particularly around the climate crisis.
That's the emerging part of methat's coming through.
Tonya J. Long (04:20):
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you.
What a big to go fromconsulting with these corporate
environments to jump to Bali todo the work that you did there.
What was the point where youknew that you had to make the
shift?
Was there a catalyst for that?
Megan Lambert (04:38):
Yeah, I think so much of my personal growth
journey has been like tuning inreally deeply to my body and my
intuition and noticing where isthe pulse of aliveness Like,
where is the desire?
I call it Eros, but it's thatthe life?
force moving through and Ibelieve that is our sacred
guidance.
So at the time I was livingjust north of San Francisco.
(05:01):
I had quit my consulting job, Iwas living on a retreat when
we're helping with corporatetraining, still in a different
way, and it just I felt likeitchy in my skin, Like maybe
you've had that feeling like asnake that's about to like shed
and everything to feel quiteright.
I felt itchy so I sat and Imeditated every morning and I
said all right, God spirituniverse intuition, where are
(05:25):
you calling me?
And every time I did that, I sawan image of Bali in my mind.
Tonya J. Long (05:31):
I've never been to Bali.
I was going to ask if you'dever been.
I don't know anyone that livesin.
Megan Lambert (05:34):
Bali.
So no, no, I just saw what Iimagined Bali looked like and I
got goosebumps and I got tearsin my eyes and I felt the full
body chills of wow, there'ssomething really deep here and
really true, and so I trust it,even when it doesn't make sense.
I trust it, and that's so.
Much of my work is helpingwomen trust the impulse, even
(05:55):
when it doesn't make logicalsense.
Tonya J. Long (05:56):
Yeah, I love that you felt the call and you
listened to the call and youlisten to the call and a lot of
us, I think, that have moreyears on our calendars hear lots
of calls and don't heed them.
We don't follow our intuition.
Why do you think women, andmaybe especially mothers, why do
(06:20):
they struggle to trust theirintuition and even their desires
?
Why do they struggle to trusttheir intuition and even their
desires.
Megan Lambert (06:27):
That's a good question.
I think there's a number oflayers.
One is cultural conditioning.
You think about from the timewhen little girls were taught to
do what your parents saidfollow the rules, follow
authority over listening to whatis naturally our desire that's
rising Stand in line, Don't runon the playground, even if you
(06:47):
want to.
And so it starts from thisyoung age of listen to others do
what you should do, what's?
expected rather than what youwant to do.
And then, as we get older,there's just layers and layers,
and I think, especially formothers, there's an extra layer
of be selfless, be generous.
Now you have these children.
You need to devote yourselfwholly to this child.
(07:09):
And so I think desire alwaysfeels selfish for women.
Right, doing something foryourself, I think, for women
across the board, will feelselfish.
But for mothers, I thinkthere's this extra layer Don't
abandon your kids, they need you.
So I think moms in particularstruggle with a lot of guilt.
Tonya J. Long (07:24):
And in those conversations, absolutely Don't
abandon your kids.
They need you.
So I think moms in particularstruggle with a lot of guilt.
In those conversations,absolutely, and guilt Guilt is a
good word.
Megan Lambert (07:31):
Yeah, Guilt, I think is that moment when your
desire runs contrary to yourconditioning.
Tonya J. Long (07:38):
Oh, say that again.
Guilt is the moment when yourdesire runs contrary to your
conditioning, that's powerful,your conditioning yeah, it
really is, because what I seewith many women that I'm in
community with is that guilt ofthe expectations put on them
(07:59):
compared to what is pulling them.
And they face tough choices andoften the intuition has to get
more and more fervent.
What is pulling them has to beunignorable.
Is that a word I think I justmade it up?
Megan Lambert (08:19):
Yeah, no, I love that Unignorable Now.
I think that's one other aspectabout why it's hard for women
to follow their intuition.
It's because a lot of women aredisconnected from their bodies.
Yes, so when you're in yourmind is making pros, cons this
sheds expectations You're there,huh, that's not the language of
(08:41):
intuition, right You're up here.
Your intuition is down here.
You can't see me, but I'mtouching my body and it's in
your gut, it's in your heart,it's in your pelvis and if
you're disconnected from yourbody, it's hard to hear that
quiet.
And it is quiet, quieter voiceof your intuition.
Tonya J. Long (08:58):
I don't have children, but I might have to
come Thursday night just tounderstand.
I'd love to see you Thursdaynight, just to understand.
I love to see you Thursdaynight Getting in touch with your
intuition and learning to hearthat voice, allowing yourself to
know that's a calling.
I think it's something that, atleast for me, I've had to be in
practice about because itwasn't natural, because there
(09:19):
were always the list in my headand the competing
responsibilities for time, and Ithink for us to learn to hear
those calls and follow ourintuition is powerful, for us to
live our best lives.
Megan Lambert (09:38):
I think it's the path to living life that feels
most like yourself.
Tonya J. Long (09:41):
It's interesting to me.
You wrote a book that's been abestseller, Eros oh shoot, I've
got to hear my Eros the JourneyHome, the Journey.
Home.
But you wrote that beforechildren and in fact, as I
recall, you published it a monthbefore your first child was
born.
So talk about a passion and acalling right was born.
(10:08):
So talk about a passion and acalling right To have done that
at a time when many women whowere a month before their first
child are just trying to get thecrib together, right, and you
published a book, your firstbook.
What drove you to publish thebook at such a close time as so
many other priorities werehappening in your life?
What made the book compellingto do then?
Megan Lambert (10:34):
Yeah, I will say, I never made a crib, I don't
even.
We barely had a nursery.
That's awesome yeah, newbornbabies.
They need so little.
But I think what drove me to itis I could feel my life was at a
precipice.
Oh yeah, Like I.
In a month I was going to birththis baby, I was going to
become a mom.
Everything that I knew wasabout to change and at the same
(10:57):
time, I had all this learningand wisdom and experience from
my maiden years that I wanted tohave a chance to document, to
share, to kind of capsulate thatthing, and that felt really
important and I knew that, okay,I'm going to learn so much more
through the journey intomotherhood, but there is there's
(11:18):
important wisdom so far that Iwant to capture.
Tonya J. Long (11:20):
If I can say it my way, you valued what you had
done and the things you hadlearned, and you knew that
having a child would shift yourpriorities yet again.
Right, and you were compelledto get all that beautiful
information out of your head andout of your heart and into
(11:41):
something shareable with others.
So that is beautiful.
And I also knew thank you.
Megan Lambert (11:47):
I also knew the book was based on a group
program I had been running thatI was going to go offline and
dive into motherhood for a while.
Tonya J. Long (11:55):
And so I wanted my teaching to still be able to
impact and help women, evenwhile I wouldn't be directly
teaching for a little while,yeah, even while I wouldn't be
directly teaching for a littlewhile, yeah, you've used the
term eros both with your bookand with your podcast and, I
suspect, in a lot of yourtrainings that you've
constructed and delivered, and Ithink that your sense of that
(12:16):
word is deeper.
It's not just about eroticismor romantic love that I just
have this intuition of my ownthat you see it as something
much more deep about the self.
But can you help share with us,for other people who may have
that limited definition that Imight have had coming into this
(12:37):
conversation, what does Erosmean for you as it relates to
your practice, that others mightget a more expanded definition?
Megan Lambert (12:49):
Yeah, great question, I know.
And people often hear eros andthink okay, so the erotic, so
sexuality, what's the big deal?
Right, sexuality?
And I think it's because welook at sexuality like it's a
cherry on top, kind of a sidedish.
Yes To the main course of life.
Tonya J. Long (13:05):
It is lunchtime, so we're thinking about food.
Megan Lambert (13:08):
Right.
Tonya J. Long (13:09):
I'm a little hungry.
Megan Lambert (13:11):
The erotic is the side dish to this main course,
but the way I see it is,actually we're born from the
erotic right.
That is the fundamental lifeforce moving through us yes.
(13:35):
Is to connect, to create, tobirth new realities or humans or
creation.
Yes, us that guides us, that isdeeply rooted in the body and
in our sensations and in ourpleasure, but is so much bigger
than just a thing on the side.
Right, yeah, I think it'sfeminine wisdom, I call it the
(13:56):
feminine soul in a lot of places, like I think the feminine
embodied soul, creative lifeforce, might be my expanded
definition of eros, and likeit's one of those things that's
hard to put words on, but youknow when it's there.
Yes, you can just see a woman ifshe's like really connected to
her eros, like she's lit up in,like her faith gloves.
And her life has this kind ofmagical quality for someone
(14:20):
that's not connected If they'reshut down or they're doing what
they should, or they'redisconnected from their family A
muted, gray and white tone toour reality.
So eros is the thing thatbrings the color.
Tonya J. Long (14:32):
I love it.
Now you talk about feminineenergy, but something that I
think is interesting and lovelyyou are very pro-husband.
You are very pro-husband.
You've said remarkable thingsabout him online, and so many
men that I speak with are,frankly, a little intimidated by
(14:54):
the thoughts of the femininedivine, by conversations that
they think women are going offinto a coffee shop together to
talk about feminine energy andthey're like, oh, it's
overpowering, it's a littleintimidating for them.
Yet your public persona is verymuch about the power of you and
your husband together, and thenit it's beautiful to see that
(15:19):
modeled for others.
Megan Lambert (15:20):
so you speak about the balance between
masculine and feminine energy.
Tonya J. Long (15:26):
What role does that energy play in
relationships, and especiallyintimate relationships?
As kids come in, as childrencome into the picture, to
interrupt that space and Ishouldn't say interrupt, but I
don't have children, so I see itas you know interrupt,
interrupt can be a right wordOkay thank you, I thought that's
probably not positive, but it'sa disruption.
Megan Lambert (15:50):
Our children are born from the erotic, but can
also really interrupt it.
Yes, absolutely so that's it, Ithink, zooming out, like if you
look at nature, you need themasculine, the feminine aspect
of a flower to make a fruit tome.
Tonya J. Long (16:05):
Okay, it's great example.
Yes, yeah, right now.
Megan Lambert (16:09):
Oh, the flower and just her feminine aspect is
so powerful.
It's without either of us orneither.
We can't move forward andcreate, and I think that's true
inside of ourselves, like Ithink we all have masculine,
feminine energy inside of usregardless of our gender or a
gender, but then you can alsohave it between people like I
think the way my husband and Iteach this to couples is like
(16:33):
masculine, feminine energy is aspectrum on a scale of a piano,
right, you can have like veryfeminine note, very masculine
note and to be a whole, healthyhuman, you got to be able to
play the whole spectrum, right.
If you want to be a greatpianist, you want to use every I
love it, right.
But then when you come intointimate union, if you want the
moment to feel erotic, it reallyhelps.
(16:55):
If one person's playing one endof the keyboard and the other's
playing the other, right,you've got the polarity of
someone in the more masculineenergy, someone's more feminine.
And it doesn't mean woman hasto be feminine, men has to be
masculine.
You can switch.
But it really does help if youare in very different energies
because opposites are just yes,yeah, yeah, very different
(17:17):
energies because opposites arejust yeah, yeah.
So my husband and I teachpolarity because this is
actually skill.
It's an energetic skill to beagile and move between masculine
and feminine, so that you canfeel that spark of chemistry
when you want to.
And it's not a thing that justfor a lot of people, chemistry
just happens to them.
(17:37):
Right you feel it the firstdate, you feel it when you fall
in love, but then a couple ofyears go down and you're like,
oh, who are you?
Yeah, but it can be a skillthat you two can cultivate.
Tonya J. Long (17:53):
I can't wait to meet your husband, I'm sure, and
to see the two of you.
Is he part of the session onThursday or?
No, he'll be with the kids.
Maybe we'll stop by and say hi,it's your time.
Megan Lambert (18:06):
But he's on babysitting duty while I'm doing
mom and circle, I think there'ssomething powerful about those
two energies working welltogether.
Tonya J. Long (18:13):
And you're right, when you were talking visually,
I was seeing a piano duet withtwo people playing both.
There are some amazing historymoments where two people have
gotten so much music out of oneinstrument, and so I'm really,
I'm really seeing what you'retalking about in terms of the
(18:34):
way you have framed things withhim, because I think, I think it
does take work and skill toyour point to understand how to
blend both elements into both ofyour lives yeah, absolutely,
and I for me.
Megan Lambert (18:51):
It's funny, sam Proz, and I think there's so
many gifts of men that we haveneglected and I think a lot of
men feel that they do rightthere's been a real right, a lot
.
Of criticism of men because wehaven't had balanced masculine
covenant.
I've been very toxic,masculinity dominated, and I
think a lot of men feelpersonally criticized.
(19:12):
But there's so much beauty inmen.
I love men, the generosity oftheir heart that they want to
serve that they are.
They're so practical in the waythat their minds think they're
so strong.
Yeah, and a lot of my love ofmen actually has come from
Alison Armstrong.
You haven't read any of herwork.
(19:32):
It changed my life completely.
Tonya J. Long (19:34):
Tell me more.
What's her thesis that sheoperates from?
Megan Lambert (19:39):
She started researching men oh, I think 40
years ago and she thought oh,men are pretty simple, this
won't take me long, yeah, and Icould see the simple thing In
some ways that we talk aboutwhen women have private coffee.
Tonya J. Long (19:52):
men are very simple.
Some of their needs are veryclear, simple.
Megan Lambert (20:00):
That's true, but she found.
But she's still researching, 40years later, and she's
realizing that, wow, there's alot to men and a lot of beauty
and gifts that we haven't beenable to see and, as women, we
haven't been able to nurture andlike I think, our job as women
is to really reflect, to reflectour own genius.
But when it comes topartnership, it's like you know
(20:22):
to look at our partner and belike I really see what's
brilliant about you and Iappreciate it and I love it and
I appreciate that she's done theresearch on it.
Tonya J. Long (20:32):
I'm an author, you're an author, and I think
what we give to people is a giftof thought.
Everyone can't think everything, and when we research, like
Allison has, and we presentideas and concepts, it helps
other people grow.
So it really is something thatyou give back into the world to
(20:56):
help them see things differently.
And she's committed to thatwork and that's pretty
remarkable, and so have you.
So, yeah, yeah, absolutely so.
The work that you're doing.
You've been doing theseretreats in Bali.
You've written a book, you'vegot a podcast with tons of
episodes, a lot of great content, and you coach people.
(21:17):
But right now you're workingtoward a free workshop in Los
Gatos on Thursday night calledthe Mama Circle.
It sounds like so much fun.
What inspired you to pull thattogether?
It's clear where you are inlife.
You've got two children, abeautiful marriage.
That together.
(21:37):
It's clear where you are inlife.
You've got two children, abeautiful marriage.
Megan Lambert (21:43):
But what do you hope women will walk away with
by coming to join you onThursday night?
Good question.
Yeah, I did a mama circle acouple weeks ago and I got this
message from a woman In Bali orin Santa Cruz?
No, in Santa Cruz.
Very good, I'm also doing themin Santa Cruz.
Tonya J. Long (21:55):
I was not aware you had already done one, so
that's cool.
Great, yeah, I have a few on.
Megan Lambert (22:01):
There's one tomorrow actually in Santa Cruz
and one next week.
But she said I feel so muchlighter.
She said I came in feeling 10.
Of course I'm kind of burdenedby the weight of motherhood and
the responsibility and I leftand she shared really
beautifully and opened up abouther story.
I feel so much lighter and moreconnected to the community and
I am so looking forward toseeing these women again.
(22:23):
And I just thought, yeah, thatis why I've created these,
because I think all women haveso many beautiful stories inside
of them that need to bewitnessed and seen, and they
need connection and community.
I don't know a single mama thatfeels like her community bucket
is totally full.
(22:44):
I feel like there's so many ofus that are like, yeah, I'd love
more community, I'd love moreconnection, and so that's why I
started these circles is becauseI want women to feel seen,
witnessed, honored, celebratedin their stories, all those
things and to connect with otherwomen, and I want it too.
I'm new to the area and I can'twait to get to know more mamas
here and more women.
Tonya J. Long (23:07):
I think one of the things this goes back to our
discussion on the word eros.
I think it might be a littleintimidating for some people,
simply because they don't knowwhat's going to happen.
They don't really know.
So if you were saying, comevisit with me, come join my
tribe, what is this circle?
What can someone who drops inon thursday expect?
Megan Lambert (23:32):
great question.
You can expect a warm,welcoming environment is that I
have friendly people.
Yeah, great food.
We're gonna have some snacks aswell on thursday, and the way I
structure it is we check in, wesay, how are you feeling, right
?
And then each woman has threeminutes to share and I time that
(23:53):
, and so you can share abouthighs, lows, struggles, whatever
.
No advice, there's plenty ofadvice out there.
There's not a space for that,it's just a space to be seen and
supported.
And then after that I open upfor micro-coaching.
So if there's one mama thatreally has a thought she wants
some coaching around, I'll workwith her for about 10 minutes
(24:13):
and then the other women canjump in and add any reflections
or celebrate anything beautifulthat they saw in that woman's
share, and that's totallyvoluntary.
Yeah, of course, nobody has tobe coached, but it is so
powerful because what the womenwill see is like their story is
reflected in her story.
Yeah, and there's so manyoverlaps and parallels, so I
(24:35):
love that little deep dive.
And then we close up and we talkabout what we got from the
circle and what we're movinginto the week with the power in
that circle is everyone feelingseen?
For me.
Tonya J. Long (24:48):
what I see and what you've described is, you
know, when we stand as thesepillars of strength alone, it's
easy to believe that you're theonly one who is managing these
things.
But being in that kind ofcircle, such an appropriate name
(25:09):
, you're able to see that otherpeople are wrestling with the
same life issues, the same chaos, the same desires to build more
and not feeling so alone whenyou see it in other people is
(25:31):
powerful.
Megan Lambert (25:32):
That would share.
Yeah, I think about a redwoodcircle.
Oh right, those trees grow in acircle and you think of it's
individual trees, right, yeah,they're not under the ground,
they're all connected.
They're holding each other upand sharing nutrients, and I
think that's the analogy forthis moment circle right Under
the ground.
All connected, sharingnutrients.
I love it, cathedral treeexample.
Tonya J. Long (25:54):
They are amazing, they are.
I sat in one and meditatedabout six or seven months ago a
couple hours north of Bodega Bay, and it was just a remarkable.
All my friends were offclimbing the mountain.
I was like I'm fine, I'm herewhen y'all come halfway back
down, pick me up on this.
It was a fire road that I foundthe tree on, but that tree is a
(26:14):
beautiful metaphor.
It's a real physical thing thatoccurs in nature when sequoias
burn out and then they droptheir cones and then they build
they, basically they grow up ina circle and at some point they
get damaged by fire or whatever.
I think that's typically whatcreates the trees falling in
(26:36):
place like they do and creatingthis crown that you can sit in.
I climbed like 12 feet up andit was beautiful.
Yeah, but talking about howthey are one organism and women
not women, sorry, wrong way theyare one organism.
They are all connected at thefoundations, the herd.
It's a powerful thing forpeople to recognize.
Megan Lambert (27:00):
Right, I love it Right.
I think a lot of people cansometimes feel like a solitary
tree out there trying to raisetheir family or do their
business.
But to come back to feelingthat underground connection
between us, I think it's lifechanging.
Tonya J. Long (27:15):
I imagine that, whether it's your private
coaching or your group-basedleadership that you do, I
imagine that you've had someremarkable experiences where
people have had major either ahamoments or moving responses.
So I'm curious what are some ofthe things that people tend to
(27:39):
come away with after they'vespent time with you and others?
Megan Lambert (27:45):
Yeah, that's a great question.
I think one of my favoritethings and see, my job's not
here to give advice, of course.
Tonya J. Long (27:51):
Right, you're a true coach because you know that
.
Yeah.
Megan Lambert (27:55):
Thank you.
Sometimes I like giving advice,but my deeper role is to help
women remember themselves.
Oh, to help women rememberthemselves.
Tonya J. Long (28:04):
I've interrupted you, but that's really important
to help women rememberthemselves.
Megan Lambert (28:09):
That's beautiful, keep going right and to
remember their own wisdom and Ihad a coaching session the other
day and she's a mama and she'sworn out.
She had her first baby and shejust had felt so dry and
disconnected from her sensualityand I guided her through some
different exercises to getconnected and she said I feel
like for the first time sincehaving this baby a year and a
(28:31):
half ago, I've remembered who Iwas before mother, like I feel
like that kind of sexy, carefree, maiden side of me that I
really thought had been lost.
She hadn't been lost.
She had been waiting for yourinvitation Right and for the
right container to emerge.
That's just one example, butthat's what I love helping women
(28:52):
reconnect in is like lost partsof themselves and let's bring
it on home so that you haveaccess to all these pieces of
you 100% Beautiful.
Tonya J. Long (29:02):
I love it.
I'm sure there are people whowill hear this on KPCR 92.9, los
Gatos.
I'm sure there are people thatwill hear this and wish they
could go on Thursday night butcan't make it.
So if there are people outthere who want to start that
journey, do you have?
(29:22):
We just said you didn't giveadvice, but do you have any
advice?
that's just the word I have onwhat is a practice that they
could start now in their livesto enrich where they want to go,
and then find your next mamacircle to join that is such a
(29:43):
good question and a big onebecause it's so individual it is
it is, it's.
Megan Lambert (29:48):
I would definitely say, pick out my book
too, because you can look at, Ihave arrows the journey home or
arrows moment.
But if you're looking at arrowsthe journey home, I would say,
just open the book and skimthrough the chapters and look at
which one is really speaking tome right am I feeling
emotionally stuck.
Okay, here's a practice.
Do I want to reconnect with mydesire?
Here's a practice.
Do I want to reconnect with mypartner?
(30:09):
Here's a practice.
Tonya J. Long (30:10):
So I would have them look at the book and then
almost read it like this menuwhere they can choose their own
practice off the menu that'sgreat advice, and I'm gonna say
this you're not trying to sellyour book because people like
you and me I'm just doing thisfor everybody else people that
write books that aren't likeBrene Brown we admire Brene
(30:33):
Brown, but you and I aren'tBrene Brown.
What we wrote is a gift toothers to, as we talked about
earlier, get those thoughts thatyou've developed and curated
through experience onto paper.
So, yeah, I've had people say,oh, you're trying to sell your
book and it's no, not really.
I've never made a, I've notmade a profit on my book.
Megan Lambert (30:55):
It's not a big money maker.
Tonya J. Long (30:56):
No, not at all, but it is a calling card for
what's important to us, whatmatters to us in leadership and
in life, and it's us sharingwith the world something really
material.
So I think it's great that yourexample of if I can't get to
Thursday night, what could I doto get started.
There's a whole repository ofideas and suggestions in your
(31:19):
book.
So, for $21.99 or whatever, Idon't remember from, I looked
and it's on Amazon and we'll putit in the show notes, both of
them.
But it's a really great way tohave something tangible,
physical.
That's what I love about booksthat people can go to and say I
choose, and I like the way yousaid it's a menu, I'll choose
(31:41):
this with that, and that.
Those are the things that areimportant to me now, absolutely.
Megan Lambert (31:48):
I don't know whoever's listening.
This what you're really needingor wanting, or crazy but
there's a whole menu ofmeditation and movement
exercises things to try andthings that I know from the
comments on your both your bookand your podcast.
Tonya J. Long (32:03):
People get personally attached to the
things that you share andthey've complemented that wisdom
and what that wisdom has donein their lives, so you have
remarkable feedback on whatyou've offered to the world.
Megan Lambert (32:19):
Thank you.
Tonya J. Long (32:19):
So I think it'll be remarkable for people to have
something like that.
That's a tool for them to use.
Megan Lambert (32:26):
I hope if you spell it.
When I publish a book, it'slike sending out this love
letter to the world.
I hope it gets in the hands ofthe women who would benefit.
Tonya J. Long (32:34):
It has, and you know that already right From the
reviews.
So I love it.
So, for the women who are ableto come on Thursday night, I'll
just say, because I've got itwritten here Thursday night in
Los Gatos, from 5 to 6.30 at LeTellier, and that's at 59 North
(32:57):
Santa Cruz in Suite B, you canRSVP.
If there's still space, you canRSVP to Shirley Julian.
Shirley Julian, that's ShirleyS-H-I-R-L-E-YJulian J-U-L-I-A-N
at LatelierLosGatoscom and wewill put this in the show notes.
(33:18):
That's L-A-T-E-L-I-E-R.
Losgatos, l-o-s-g-a-t-o-scom,and if you RSVP by email to'm,
there's.
I don't think it's filled yet,but I'm assuming.
So I'm assuming, aren't you?
Surely that event on thursdaywhat, what's your big hope
(33:41):
happens on thursday night withthe women who are able to join
you for conversation.
Megan Lambert (33:49):
I hope that we first of all have a lot of fun,
a lot of laughter, a lot of joyI feel like that's going to
happen, I've been said so andthat your heart cracks open,
that you leave feeling a littlemore connected to your heart, a
little more connected to yoursensuality, your body and trust
in yourself.
Yeah, and maybe with a few newfriends.
Tonya J. Long (34:14):
That's beautiful, all of it.
I'm letting it sink in becauseI might just have to show up as
the only woman there without achild.
Megan Lambert (34:22):
You know what I would love for you to show up
because also I'm sure you'remothering all kinds of things
this podcast, your book, yourcommunity.
You are also a mother.
Tonya J. Long (34:34):
I am blessed, I get cards and I get flowers
every and I get calls and textsevery Mother's Day, and so I,
from different people, and Ihave some people that are really
close in my life and that theysee that in me and how I hold
community with others, and Ithink it's an important
(34:55):
distinction there are more andmore women who are electing to
not have children, who or justhaven't been in a position where
it made sense to have children.
But I think that maternalaspect has a lot of different,
that spectrum that you mentioned.
I think that spectrum is reallyimportant for all of us,
(35:19):
absolutely, we have ways tocontribute.
Megan Lambert (35:23):
Huge ways to contribute and mother different
aspects of the world.
Yeah.
Tonya J. Long (35:28):
And I guess this is a rant for me.
We'll see if it goes into thefinal what's left but uh, I
think that people limitthemselves and they shouldn't.
They limit themselves bydefinitions.
Oh, I don't have children, I'mnot a mother, and you stepped
immediately into oh, but you domother some things that I see.
(35:50):
I think people shouldn't adhereso stringently to common
definitions when they feelsomething calling them Right,
yeah.
And so I appreciate that you seethose things and it's just a
much more inclusive world thansome people.
Some people choose to see likethe boundaries, other people
(36:15):
choose to see the intersectionswell and I would.
Megan Lambert (36:19):
I think it's.
I think you have beautifulmothering energy and lots of
amazing projects, and I thinkthere's so many different ways
to mother for all of us rightyou could be a stepmother, you
could be an adoptive mother, youcould be a, a favorite auntie
to her friends absolutely youcould have a book baby yes, and
I think these are all amazingexpressions of the maternal
(36:41):
instinct of and of the divinefeminine right.
Tonya J. Long (36:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it.
This has been so much fun.
How do people follow you, watchyou in the healthy way?
What's the way that they canengage with your content?
We've talked about the book.
We'll put that in the shownotes.
How else do you think are thebest ways?
I didn't realize you'd donealready a couple of these mama
(37:07):
circles, so how can people watchfor that and get involved?
Megan Lambert (37:14):
Probably the best way would be on my Instagram.
Perfect, so it's at Megan DLambert.
Yes, m-e-g-a-n-d-l-a-m-b-e-r-t.
Beautiful.
That's probably the best way.
That's the most current one.
I also have a website if youwant to do some deep dives into
the archives which is justwwwmegandlambertcom Good,
(37:40):
Beautiful and the podcast.
Tonya J. Long (37:40):
You had a lot of episodes.
I think there's a lot of this.
Information doesn't necessarilyage.
It's not information that'sonly relevant in real time.
So I would also encouragepeople to take a look at some
really targeted discussionsyou've had over the years as a
way to hear more of this, moreof your wisdom, your experience.
So we'll put all those contactpoints in the show notes for
(38:03):
this so that people can get tothat for you.
Good yeah, Thank you.
Megan Lambert (38:08):
Yeah, good, wonderful.
Thank you so much for having meit's been such a pleasure to
talk for you.
Good, oh, thank you.
Yeah, good, wonderful.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's been such a pleasure totalk to you and, yeah, I've
really loved our conversation.
Tonya J. Long (38:16):
So thank you.
You are remarkable and I can'twait to see you at some point.
Maybe Thursday night would benice.
And this has been great and thishas been Megan Lambert, mama's
Circle founder, author, speakerand a woman of wisdom putting
wonderful things out into theworld.
(38:36):
We've been here on 92.9 FM LosGatos for NorCal Narratives.
I'm Tonya Long signing off withMegan Lambert, and we hope that
today has been valuable for youas you draw wisdom and
encouragement to move into yourhighest and best calling.
(38:58):
Thanks everyone, Megan, thankyou, thank you, thank you.
Hello everyone and welcome to NorCal Narratives
, broadcasting on KPCR 92.9.
Pirate Cat Radio, your space tomeet the people and the ideas
shaping our community and beyond.
I'm Tonya Long and today wehave a very special guest whose
story and work speak directly tothe heart of what it means to
(00:22):
live fully and love deeply.
So Megan Lambert is an author,she's a coach, she's a speaker
and she is the creator of theLos Gatos Mama's Circle.
That happens this Thursdayevening five o'clock in Los
Gatos.
We'll talk a lot more aboutthat.
Can't wait to roll up oursleeves and dig in with Megan.
(00:44):
She's the author of thebest-selling book Eros, the
Journey Home.
Also, she has a pretty deeppodcast called Eros Mama.
So a lot of her focus is onmotherhood love and we're going
to dig into that definition ofEros and her being a passionate
advocate for creating spaceswhere women, and especially
(01:06):
mamas, can explore their stories.
So, Megan, welcome to the show.
It is such a pleasure to haveyou here.
Megan Lambert (01:15):
Thank you.
It is such a pleasure to behere.
Thank you for inviting me.
Tonya J. Long (01:19):
I'm thrilled.
You have a background.
You've lived multiple lives andyou're not an older adult, you,
but you were a consultant, andthen you were then completely
different.
You were a retreat leader inBali.
I've mentioned yourbest-selling author.
Now you have two children underthe age of five, if I recall.
(01:41):
So what was the?
Thread that connected all thoseresets for you.
Megan Lambert (01:48):
Yeah, it's interesting.
I think sometimes, when I'm inthe moment, I'm just following
the pulse of aliveness or desireand I'm like I don't know what.
The thread is right.
Tonya J. Long (01:57):
It's just, it can seem random but then when I
look back I'm like oh, it'sthere right, and so for me, a
couple of threads have emerged.
Megan Lambert (02:06):
One is relationship.
I've always been fascinated bythe study of relationship and
connection and what bringspeople together and how do we
stay together.
I joke, my parents weredivorced when I was little and
it's part trauma, part curiosity, but I studied that in in
university.
In all of my personal life Iwas studying relationship men,
(02:28):
women, dynamics, masculine,feminine and at the same time
I've been curious about thisthreat of leadership.
So what kind of models ofleadership do we need as the
world is rapidly changing?
I love it and those were my twotracks in college.
Didn't know how to make aliving on the relationship one,
so I went for the leadership one, became a leadership consultant
to Fortune 500 companies andworked with teams and leaders,
(02:51):
and they were part of the bigquestions I wanted to ask.
It's like why are you here?
Tonya J. Long (03:09):
Amazing.
Megan Lambert (03:10):
How do we come together, what's the world that
we want to build together andwhat's each of our unique roles
in building that world?
And I found the companies I wasworking with.
They didn't necessarily want togo there.
They wanted to figure outstrategy and profitability, and
(03:30):
so I left the corporate world,started my own life coaching
business and then moved to Balibecause that's the hub of eat,
pray, love, personaltransformation, deep dives,
reset.
Yeah.
Then I lived in Bali for sevenyears, met my husband.
He was also doing masculine,masculine feminine work, leading
yoga teacher trainings, andthen we started working together
as well, doing women's retreats, men's retreat, couples retreat
.
That's such, all of that yeah,keep going yeah.
(03:56):
So I would say we did a realdeep dive in bali on personal
transformation and then for me,I'm at another reset coming back
.
We're coming back to cal, santaCruz, and a lot of my curiosity
is like how do you take theinner transformation and create
outer change in the systems andstructures?
Tonya J. Long (04:13):
we live in.
Megan Lambert (04:14):
And particularly around the climate crisis.
That's the emerging part of methat's coming through.
Tonya J. Long (04:20):
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you.
What a big to go fromconsulting with these corporate
environments to jump to Bali todo the work that you did there.
What was the point where youknew that you had to make the
shift?
Was there a catalyst for that?
Megan Lambert (04:38):
Yeah, I think so much of my personal growth
journey has been like tuning inreally deeply to my body and my
intuition and noticing where isthe pulse of aliveness Like,
where is the desire?
I call it Eros, but it's thatthe life?
force moving through and Ibelieve that is our sacred
guidance.
So at the time I was livingjust north of San Francisco.
(05:01):
I had quit my consulting job, Iwas living on a retreat when
we're helping with corporatetraining, still in a different
way, and it just I felt likeitchy in my skin, Like maybe
you've had that feeling like asnake that's about to like shed
and everything to feel quiteright.
I felt itchy so I sat and Imeditated every morning and I
said all right, God spirituniverse intuition, where are
(05:25):
you calling me?
And every time I did that, I sawan image of Bali in my mind.
Tonya J. Long (05:31):
I've never been to Bali.
I was going to ask if you'dever been.
I don't know anyone that livesin.
Megan Lambert (05:34):
Bali.
So no, no, I just saw what Iimagined Bali looked like and I
got goosebumps and I got tearsin my eyes and I felt the full
body chills of wow, there'ssomething really deep here and
really true, and so I trust it,even when it doesn't make sense.
I trust it, and that's so.
Much of my work is helpingwomen trust the impulse, even
(05:55):
when it doesn't make logicalsense.
Tonya J. Long (05:56):
Yeah, I love that you felt the call and you
listened to the call and youlisten to the call and a lot of
us, I think, that have moreyears on our calendars hear lots
of calls and don't heed them.
We don't follow our intuition.
Why do you think women, andmaybe especially mothers, why do
(06:20):
they struggle to trust theirintuition and even their desires
?
Why do they struggle to trusttheir intuition and even their
desires.
Megan Lambert (06:27):
That's a good question.
I think there's a number oflayers.
One is cultural conditioning.
You think about from the timewhen little girls were taught to
do what your parents saidfollow the rules, follow
authority over listening to whatis naturally our desire that's
rising Stand in line, Don't runon the playground, even if you
(06:47):
want to.
And so it starts from thisyoung age of listen to others do
what you should do, what's?
expected rather than what youwant to do.
And then, as we get older,there's just layers and layers,
and I think, especially formothers, there's an extra layer
of be selfless, be generous.
Now you have these children.
You need to devote yourselfwholly to this child.
(07:09):
And so I think desire alwaysfeels selfish for women.
Right, doing something foryourself, I think, for women
across the board, will feelselfish.
But for mothers, I thinkthere's this extra layer Don't
abandon your kids, they need you.
So I think moms in particularstruggle with a lot of guilt.
Tonya J. Long (07:24):
And in those conversations, absolutely Don't
abandon your kids.
They need you.
So I think moms in particularstruggle with a lot of guilt.
In those conversations,absolutely, and guilt Guilt is a
good word.
Megan Lambert (07:31):
Yeah, Guilt, I think is that moment when your
desire runs contrary to yourconditioning.
Tonya J. Long (07:38):
Oh, say that again.
Guilt is the moment when yourdesire runs contrary to your
conditioning, that's powerful,your conditioning yeah, it
really is, because what I seewith many women that I'm in
community with is that guilt ofthe expectations put on them
(07:59):
compared to what is pulling them.
And they face tough choices andoften the intuition has to get
more and more fervent.
What is pulling them has to beunignorable.
Is that a word I think I justmade it up?
Megan Lambert (08:19):
Yeah, no, I love that Unignorable Now.
I think that's one other aspectabout why it's hard for women
to follow their intuition.
It's because a lot of women aredisconnected from their bodies.
Yes, so when you're in yourmind is making pros, cons this
sheds expectations You're there,huh, that's not the language of
(08:41):
intuition, right You're up here.
Your intuition is down here.
You can't see me, but I'mtouching my body and it's in
your gut, it's in your heart,it's in your pelvis and if
you're disconnected from yourbody, it's hard to hear that
quiet.
And it is quiet, quieter voiceof your intuition.
Tonya J. Long (08:58):
I don't have children, but I might have to
come Thursday night just tounderstand.
I'd love to see you Thursdaynight, just to understand.
I love to see you Thursdaynight Getting in touch with your
intuition and learning to hearthat voice, allowing yourself to
know that's a calling.
I think it's something that, atleast for me, I've had to be in
practice about because itwasn't natural, because there
(09:19):
were always the list in my headand the competing
responsibilities for time, and Ithink for us to learn to hear
those calls and follow ourintuition is powerful, for us to
live our best lives.
Megan Lambert (09:38):
I think it's the path to living life that feels
most like yourself.
Tonya J. Long (09:41):
It's interesting to me.
You wrote a book that's been abestseller, Eros oh shoot, I've
got to hear my Eros the JourneyHome, the Journey.
Home.
But you wrote that beforechildren and in fact, as I
recall, you published it a monthbefore your first child was
born.
So talk about a passion and acalling right was born.
(10:08):
So talk about a passion and acalling right To have done that
at a time when many women whowere a month before their first
child are just trying to get thecrib together, right, and you
published a book, your firstbook.
What drove you to publish thebook at such a close time as so
many other priorities werehappening in your life?
What made the book compellingto do then?
Megan Lambert (10:34):
Yeah, I will say, I never made a crib, I don't
even.
We barely had a nursery.
That's awesome yeah, newbornbabies.
They need so little.
But I think what drove me to itis I could feel my life was at a
precipice.
Oh yeah, Like I.
In a month I was going to birththis baby, I was going to
become a mom.
Everything that I knew wasabout to change and at the same
(10:57):
time, I had all this learningand wisdom and experience from
my maiden years that I wanted tohave a chance to document, to
share, to kind of capsulate thatthing, and that felt really
important and I knew that, okay,I'm going to learn so much more
through the journey intomotherhood, but there is there's
(11:18):
important wisdom so far that Iwant to capture.
Tonya J. Long (11:20):
If I can say it my way, you valued what you had
done and the things you hadlearned, and you knew that
having a child would shift yourpriorities yet again.
Right, and you were compelledto get all that beautiful
information out of your head andout of your heart and into
(11:41):
something shareable with others.
So that is beautiful.
And I also knew thank you.
Megan Lambert (11:47):
I also knew the book was based on a group
program I had been running thatI was going to go offline and
dive into motherhood for a while.
Tonya J. Long (11:55):
And so I wanted my teaching to still be able to
impact and help women, evenwhile I wouldn't be directly
teaching for a little while,yeah, even while I wouldn't be
directly teaching for a littlewhile, yeah, you've used the
term eros both with your bookand with your podcast and, I
suspect, in a lot of yourtrainings that you've
constructed and delivered, and Ithink that your sense of that
(12:16):
word is deeper.
It's not just about eroticismor romantic love that I just
have this intuition of my ownthat you see it as something
much more deep about the self.
But can you help share with us,for other people who may have
that limited definition that Imight have had coming into this
(12:37):
conversation, what does Erosmean for you as it relates to
your practice, that others mightget a more expanded definition?
Megan Lambert (12:49):
Yeah, great question, I know.
And people often hear eros andthink okay, so the erotic, so
sexuality, what's the big deal?
Right, sexuality?
And I think it's because welook at sexuality like it's a
cherry on top, kind of a sidedish.
Yes To the main course of life.
Tonya J. Long (13:05):
It is lunchtime, so we're thinking about food.
Megan Lambert (13:08):
Right.
Tonya J. Long (13:09):
I'm a little hungry.
Megan Lambert (13:11):
The erotic is the side dish to this main course,
but the way I see it is,actually we're born from the
erotic right.
That is the fundamental lifeforce moving through us yes.
(13:35):
Is to connect, to create, tobirth new realities or humans or
creation.
Yes, us that guides us, that isdeeply rooted in the body and
in our sensations and in ourpleasure, but is so much bigger
than just a thing on the side.
Right, yeah, I think it'sfeminine wisdom, I call it the
(13:56):
feminine soul in a lot of places, like I think the feminine
embodied soul, creative lifeforce, might be my expanded
definition of eros, and likeit's one of those things that's
hard to put words on, but youknow when it's there.
Yes, you can just see a woman ifshe's like really connected to
her eros, like she's lit up in,like her faith gloves.
And her life has this kind ofmagical quality for someone
(14:20):
that's not connected If they'reshut down or they're doing what
they should, or they'redisconnected from their family A
muted, gray and white tone toour reality.
So eros is the thing thatbrings the color.
Tonya J. Long (14:32):
I love it.
Now you talk about feminineenergy, but something that I
think is interesting and lovelyyou are very pro-husband.
You are very pro-husband.
You've said remarkable thingsabout him online, and so many
men that I speak with are,frankly, a little intimidated by
(14:54):
the thoughts of the femininedivine, by conversations that
they think women are going offinto a coffee shop together to
talk about feminine energy andthey're like, oh, it's
overpowering, it's a littleintimidating for them.
Yet your public persona is verymuch about the power of you and
your husband together, and thenit it's beautiful to see that
(15:19):
modeled for others.
Megan Lambert (15:20):
so you speak about the balance between
masculine and feminine energy.
Tonya J. Long (15:26):
What role does that energy play in
relationships, and especiallyintimate relationships?
As kids come in, as childrencome into the picture, to
interrupt that space and Ishouldn't say interrupt, but I
don't have children, so I see itas you know interrupt,
interrupt can be a right wordOkay thank you, I thought that's
probably not positive, but it'sa disruption.
Megan Lambert (15:50):
Our children are born from the erotic, but can
also really interrupt it.
Yes, absolutely so that's it, Ithink, zooming out, like if you
look at nature, you need themasculine, the feminine aspect
of a flower to make a fruit tome.
Tonya J. Long (16:05):
Okay, it's great example.
Yes, yeah, right now.
Megan Lambert (16:09):
Oh, the flower and just her feminine aspect is
so powerful.
It's without either of us orneither.
We can't move forward andcreate, and I think that's true
inside of ourselves, like Ithink we all have masculine,
feminine energy inside of usregardless of our gender or a
gender, but then you can alsohave it between people like I
think the way my husband and Iteach this to couples is like
(16:33):
masculine, feminine energy is aspectrum on a scale of a piano,
right, you can have like veryfeminine note, very masculine
note and to be a whole, healthyhuman, you got to be able to
play the whole spectrum, right.
If you want to be a greatpianist, you want to use every I
love it, right.
But then when you come intointimate union, if you want the
moment to feel erotic, it reallyhelps.
(16:55):
If one person's playing one endof the keyboard and the other's
playing the other, right,you've got the polarity of
someone in the more masculineenergy, someone's more feminine.
And it doesn't mean woman hasto be feminine, men has to be
masculine.
You can switch.
But it really does help if youare in very different energies
because opposites are just yes,yeah, yeah, very different
(17:17):
energies because opposites arejust yeah, yeah.
So my husband and I teachpolarity because this is
actually skill.
It's an energetic skill to beagile and move between masculine
and feminine, so that you canfeel that spark of chemistry
when you want to.
And it's not a thing that justfor a lot of people, chemistry
just happens to them.
(17:37):
Right you feel it the firstdate, you feel it when you fall
in love, but then a couple ofyears go down and you're like,
oh, who are you?
Yeah, but it can be a skillthat you two can cultivate.
Tonya J. Long (17:53):
I can't wait to meet your husband, I'm sure, and
to see the two of you.
Is he part of the session onThursday or?
No, he'll be with the kids.
Maybe we'll stop by and say hi,it's your time.
Megan Lambert (18:06):
But he's on babysitting duty while I'm doing
mom and circle, I think there'ssomething powerful about those
two energies working welltogether.
Tonya J. Long (18:13):
And you're right, when you were talking visually,
I was seeing a piano duet withtwo people playing both.
There are some amazing historymoments where two people have
gotten so much music out of oneinstrument, and so I'm really,
I'm really seeing what you'retalking about in terms of the
(18:34):
way you have framed things withhim, because I think, I think it
does take work and skill toyour point to understand how to
blend both elements into both ofyour lives yeah, absolutely,
and I for me.
Megan Lambert (18:51):
It's funny, sam Proz, and I think there's so
many gifts of men that we haveneglected and I think a lot of
men feel that they do rightthere's been a real right, a lot
.
Of criticism of men because wehaven't had balanced masculine
covenant.
I've been very toxic,masculinity dominated, and I
think a lot of men feelpersonally criticized.
(19:12):
But there's so much beauty inmen.
I love men, the generosity oftheir heart that they want to
serve that they are.
They're so practical in the waythat their minds think they're
so strong.
Yeah, and a lot of my love ofmen actually has come from
Alison Armstrong.
You haven't read any of herwork.
(19:32):
It changed my life completely.
Tonya J. Long (19:34):
Tell me more.
What's her thesis that sheoperates from?
Megan Lambert (19:39):
She started researching men oh, I think 40
years ago and she thought oh,men are pretty simple, this
won't take me long, yeah, and Icould see the simple thing In
some ways that we talk aboutwhen women have private coffee.
Tonya J. Long (19:52):
men are very simple.
Some of their needs are veryclear, simple.
Megan Lambert (20:00):
That's true, but she found.
But she's still researching, 40years later, and she's
realizing that, wow, there's alot to men and a lot of beauty
and gifts that we haven't beenable to see and, as women, we
haven't been able to nurture andlike I think, our job as women
is to really reflect, to reflectour own genius.
But when it comes topartnership, it's like you know
(20:22):
to look at our partner and belike I really see what's
brilliant about you and Iappreciate it and I love it and
I appreciate that she's done theresearch on it.
Tonya J. Long (20:32):
I'm an author, you're an author, and I think
what we give to people is a giftof thought.
Everyone can't think everything, and when we research, like
Allison has, and we presentideas and concepts, it helps
other people grow.
So it really is something thatyou give back into the world to
(20:56):
help them see things differently.
And she's committed to thatwork and that's pretty
remarkable, and so have you.
So, yeah, yeah, absolutely so.
The work that you're doing.
You've been doing theseretreats in Bali.
You've written a book, you'vegot a podcast with tons of
episodes, a lot of great content, and you coach people.
(21:17):
But right now you're workingtoward a free workshop in Los
Gatos on Thursday night calledthe Mama Circle.
It sounds like so much fun.
What inspired you to pull thattogether?
It's clear where you are inlife.
You've got two children, abeautiful marriage.
That together.
(21:37):
It's clear where you are inlife.
You've got two children, abeautiful marriage.
Megan Lambert (21:43):
But what do you hope women will walk away with
by coming to join you onThursday night?
Good question.
Yeah, I did a mama circle acouple weeks ago and I got this
message from a woman In Bali orin Santa Cruz?
No, in Santa Cruz.
Very good, I'm also doing themin Santa Cruz.
Tonya J. Long (21:55):
I was not aware you had already done one, so
that's cool.
Great, yeah, I have a few on.
Megan Lambert (22:01):
There's one tomorrow actually in Santa Cruz
and one next week.
But she said I feel so muchlighter.
She said I came in feeling 10.
Of course I'm kind of burdenedby the weight of motherhood and
the responsibility and I leftand she shared really
beautifully and opened up abouther story.
I feel so much lighter and moreconnected to the community and
I am so looking forward toseeing these women again.
(22:23):
And I just thought, yeah, thatis why I've created these,
because I think all women haveso many beautiful stories inside
of them that need to bewitnessed and seen, and they
need connection and community.
I don't know a single mama thatfeels like her community bucket
is totally full.
(22:44):
I feel like there's so many ofus that are like, yeah, I'd love
more community, I'd love moreconnection, and so that's why I
started these circles is becauseI want women to feel seen,
witnessed, honored, celebratedin their stories, all those
things and to connect with otherwomen, and I want it too.
I'm new to the area and I can'twait to get to know more mamas
here and more women.
Tonya J. Long (23:07):
I think one of the things this goes back to our
discussion on the word eros.
I think it might be a littleintimidating for some people,
simply because they don't knowwhat's going to happen.
They don't really know.
So if you were saying, comevisit with me, come join my
tribe, what is this circle?
What can someone who drops inon thursday expect?
Megan Lambert (23:32):
great question.
You can expect a warm,welcoming environment is that I
have friendly people.
Yeah, great food.
We're gonna have some snacks aswell on thursday, and the way I
structure it is we check in, wesay, how are you feeling, right
?
And then each woman has threeminutes to share and I time that
(23:53):
, and so you can share abouthighs, lows, struggles, whatever
.
No advice, there's plenty ofadvice out there.
There's not a space for that,it's just a space to be seen and
supported.
And then after that I open upfor micro-coaching.
So if there's one mama thatreally has a thought she wants
some coaching around, I'll workwith her for about 10 minutes
(24:13):
and then the other women canjump in and add any reflections
or celebrate anything beautifulthat they saw in that woman's
share, and that's totallyvoluntary.
Yeah, of course, nobody has tobe coached, but it is so
powerful because what the womenwill see is like their story is
reflected in her story.
Yeah, and there's so manyoverlaps and parallels, so I
(24:35):
love that little deep dive.
And then we close up and we talkabout what we got from the
circle and what we're movinginto the week with the power in
that circle is everyone feelingseen?
For me.
Tonya J. Long (24:48):
what I see and what you've described is, you
know, when we stand as thesepillars of strength alone, it's
easy to believe that you're theonly one who is managing these
things.
But being in that kind ofcircle, such an appropriate name
(25:09):
, you're able to see that otherpeople are wrestling with the
same life issues, the same chaos, the same desires to build more
and not feeling so alone whenyou see it in other people is
(25:31):
powerful.
Megan Lambert (25:32):
That would share.
Yeah, I think about a redwoodcircle.
Oh right, those trees grow in acircle and you think of it's
individual trees, right, yeah,they're not under the ground,
they're all connected.
They're holding each other upand sharing nutrients, and I
think that's the analogy forthis moment circle right Under
the ground.
All connected, sharingnutrients.
I love it, cathedral treeexample.
Tonya J. Long (25:54):
They are amazing, they are.
I sat in one and meditatedabout six or seven months ago a
couple hours north of Bodega Bay, and it was just a remarkable.
All my friends were offclimbing the mountain.
I was like I'm fine, I'm herewhen y'all come halfway back
down, pick me up on this.
It was a fire road that I foundthe tree on, but that tree is a
(26:14):
beautiful metaphor.
It's a real physical thing thatoccurs in nature when sequoias
burn out and then they droptheir cones and then they build
they, basically they grow up ina circle and at some point they
get damaged by fire or whatever.
I think that's typically whatcreates the trees falling in
(26:36):
place like they do and creatingthis crown that you can sit in.
I climbed like 12 feet up andit was beautiful.
Yeah, but talking about howthey are one organism and women
not women, sorry, wrong way theyare one organism.
They are all connected at thefoundations, the herd.
It's a powerful thing forpeople to recognize.
Megan Lambert (27:00):
Right, I love it Right.
I think a lot of people cansometimes feel like a solitary
tree out there trying to raisetheir family or do their
business.
But to come back to feelingthat underground connection
between us, I think it's lifechanging.
Tonya J. Long (27:15):
I imagine that, whether it's your private
coaching or your group-basedleadership that you do, I
imagine that you've had someremarkable experiences where
people have had major either ahamoments or moving responses.
So I'm curious what are some ofthe things that people tend to
(27:39):
come away with after they'vespent time with you and others?
Megan Lambert (27:45):
Yeah, that's a great question.
I think one of my favoritethings and see, my job's not
here to give advice, of course.
Tonya J. Long (27:51):
Right, you're a true coach because you know that
.
Yeah.
Megan Lambert (27:55):
Thank you.
Sometimes I like giving advice,but my deeper role is to help
women remember themselves.
Oh, to help women rememberthemselves.
Tonya J. Long (28:04):
I've interrupted you, but that's really important
to help women rememberthemselves.
Megan Lambert (28:09):
That's beautiful, keep going right and to
remember their own wisdom and Ihad a coaching session the other
day and she's a mama and she'sworn out.
She had her first baby and shejust had felt so dry and
disconnected from her sensualityand I guided her through some
different exercises to getconnected and she said I feel
like for the first time sincehaving this baby a year and a
(28:31):
half ago, I've remembered who Iwas before mother, like I feel
like that kind of sexy, carefree, maiden side of me that I
really thought had been lost.
She hadn't been lost.
She had been waiting for yourinvitation Right and for the
right container to emerge.
That's just one example, butthat's what I love helping women
(28:52):
reconnect in is like lost partsof themselves and let's bring
it on home so that you haveaccess to all these pieces of
you 100% Beautiful.
Tonya J. Long (29:02):
I love it.
I'm sure there are people whowill hear this on KPCR 92.9, los
Gatos.
I'm sure there are people thatwill hear this and wish they
could go on Thursday night butcan't make it.
So if there are people outthere who want to start that
journey, do you have?
(29:22):
We just said you didn't giveadvice, but do you have any
advice?
that's just the word I have onwhat is a practice that they
could start now in their livesto enrich where they want to go,
and then find your next mamacircle to join that is such a
(29:43):
good question and a big onebecause it's so individual it is
it is, it's.
Megan Lambert (29:48):
I would definitely say, pick out my book
too, because you can look at, Ihave arrows the journey home or
arrows moment.
But if you're looking at arrowsthe journey home, I would say,
just open the book and skimthrough the chapters and look at
which one is really speaking tome right am I feeling
emotionally stuck.
Okay, here's a practice.
Do I want to reconnect with mydesire?
Here's a practice.
Do I want to reconnect with mypartner?
(30:09):
Here's a practice.
Tonya J. Long (30:10):
So I would have them look at the book and then
almost read it like this menuwhere they can choose their own
practice off the menu that'sgreat advice, and I'm gonna say
this you're not trying to sellyour book because people like
you and me I'm just doing thisfor everybody else people that
write books that aren't likeBrene Brown we admire Brene
(30:33):
Brown, but you and I aren'tBrene Brown.
What we wrote is a gift toothers to, as we talked about
earlier, get those thoughts thatyou've developed and curated
through experience onto paper.
So, yeah, I've had people say,oh, you're trying to sell your
book and it's no, not really.
I've never made a, I've notmade a profit on my book.
Megan Lambert (30:55):
It's not a big money maker.
Tonya J. Long (30:56):
No, not at all, but it is a calling card for
what's important to us, whatmatters to us in leadership and
in life, and it's us sharingwith the world something really
material.
So I think it's great that yourexample of if I can't get to
Thursday night, what could I doto get started.
There's a whole repository ofideas and suggestions in your
(31:19):
book.
So, for $21.99 or whatever, Idon't remember from, I looked
and it's on Amazon and we'll putit in the show notes, both of
them.
But it's a really great way tohave something tangible,
physical.
That's what I love about booksthat people can go to and say I
choose, and I like the way yousaid it's a menu, I'll choose
(31:41):
this with that, and that.
Those are the things that areimportant to me now, absolutely.
Megan Lambert (31:48):
I don't know whoever's listening.
This what you're really needingor wanting, or crazy but
there's a whole menu ofmeditation and movement
exercises things to try andthings that I know from the
comments on your both your bookand your podcast.
Tonya J. Long (32:03):
People get personally attached to the
things that you share andthey've complemented that wisdom
and what that wisdom has donein their lives, so you have
remarkable feedback on whatyou've offered to the world.
Megan Lambert (32:19):
Thank you.
Tonya J. Long (32:19):
So I think it'll be remarkable for people to have
something like that.
That's a tool for them to use.
Megan Lambert (32:26):
I hope if you spell it.
When I publish a book, it'slike sending out this love
letter to the world.
I hope it gets in the hands ofthe women who would benefit.
Tonya J. Long (32:34):
It has, and you know that already right From the
reviews.
So I love it.
So, for the women who are ableto come on Thursday night, I'll
just say, because I've got itwritten here Thursday night in
Los Gatos, from 5 to 6.30 at LeTellier, and that's at 59 North
(32:57):
Santa Cruz in Suite B, you canRSVP.
If there's still space, you canRSVP to Shirley Julian.
Shirley Julian, that's ShirleyS-H-I-R-L-E-YJulian J-U-L-I-A-N
at LatelierLosGatoscom and wewill put this in the show notes.
(33:18):
That's L-A-T-E-L-I-E-R.
Losgatos, l-o-s-g-a-t-o-scom,and if you RSVP by email to'm,
there's.
I don't think it's filled yet,but I'm assuming.
So I'm assuming, aren't you?
Surely that event on thursdaywhat, what's your big hope
(33:41):
happens on thursday night withthe women who are able to join
you for conversation.
Megan Lambert (33:49):
I hope that we first of all have a lot of fun,
a lot of laughter, a lot of joyI feel like that's going to
happen, I've been said so andthat your heart cracks open,
that you leave feeling a littlemore connected to your heart, a
little more connected to yoursensuality, your body and trust
in yourself.
Yeah, and maybe with a few newfriends.
Tonya J. Long (34:14):
That's beautiful, all of it.
I'm letting it sink in becauseI might just have to show up as
the only woman there without achild.
Megan Lambert (34:22):
You know what I would love for you to show up
because also I'm sure you'remothering all kinds of things
this podcast, your book, yourcommunity.
You are also a mother.
Tonya J. Long (34:34):
I am blessed, I get cards and I get flowers
every and I get calls and textsevery Mother's Day, and so I,
from different people, and Ihave some people that are really
close in my life and that theysee that in me and how I hold
community with others, and Ithink it's an important
(34:55):
distinction there are more andmore women who are electing to
not have children, who or justhaven't been in a position where
it made sense to have children.
But I think that maternalaspect has a lot of different,
that spectrum that you mentioned.
I think that spectrum is reallyimportant for all of us,
(35:19):
absolutely, we have ways tocontribute.
Megan Lambert (35:23):
Huge ways to contribute and mother different
aspects of the world.
Yeah.
Tonya J. Long (35:28):
And I guess this is a rant for me.
We'll see if it goes into thefinal what's left but uh, I
think that people limitthemselves and they shouldn't.
They limit themselves bydefinitions.
Oh, I don't have children, I'mnot a mother, and you stepped
immediately into oh, but you domother some things that I see.
(35:50):
I think people shouldn't adhereso stringently to common
definitions when they feelsomething calling them Right,
yeah.
And so I appreciate that you seethose things and it's just a
much more inclusive world thansome people.
Some people choose to see likethe boundaries, other people
(36:15):
choose to see the intersectionswell and I would.
Megan Lambert (36:19):
I think it's.
I think you have beautifulmothering energy and lots of
amazing projects, and I thinkthere's so many different ways
to mother for all of us rightyou could be a stepmother, you
could be an adoptive mother, youcould be a, a favorite auntie
to her friends absolutely youcould have a book baby yes, and
I think these are all amazingexpressions of the maternal
(36:41):
instinct of and of the divinefeminine right.
Tonya J. Long (36:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it.
This has been so much fun.
How do people follow you, watchyou in the healthy way?
What's the way that they canengage with your content?
We've talked about the book.
We'll put that in the shownotes.
How else do you think are thebest ways?
I didn't realize you'd donealready a couple of these mama
(37:07):
circles, so how can people watchfor that and get involved?
Megan Lambert (37:14):
Probably the best way would be on my Instagram.
Perfect, so it's at Megan DLambert.
Yes, m-e-g-a-n-d-l-a-m-b-e-r-t.
Beautiful.
That's probably the best way.
That's the most current one.
I also have a website if youwant to do some deep dives into
the archives which is justwwwmegandlambertcom Good,
(37:40):
Beautiful and the podcast.
Tonya J. Long (37:40):
You had a lot of episodes.
I think there's a lot of this.
Information doesn't necessarilyage.
It's not information that'sonly relevant in real time.
So I would also encouragepeople to take a look at some
really targeted discussionsyou've had over the years as a
way to hear more of this, moreof your wisdom, your experience.
So we'll put all those contactpoints in the show notes for
(38:03):
this so that people can get tothat for you.
Good yeah, Thank you.
Megan Lambert (38:08):
Yeah, good, wonderful.
Thank you so much for having meit's been such a pleasure to
talk for you.
Good, oh, thank you.
Yeah, good, wonderful.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's been such a pleasure totalk to you and, yeah, I've
really loved our conversation.
Tonya J. Long (38:16):
So thank you.
You are remarkable and I can'twait to see you at some point.
Maybe Thursday night would benice.
And this has been great and thishas been Megan Lambert, mama's
Circle founder, author, speakerand a woman of wisdom putting
wonderful things out into theworld.
(38:36):
We've been here on 92.9 FM LosGatos for NorCal Narratives.
I'm Tonya Long signing off withMegan Lambert, and we hope that
today has been valuable for youas you draw wisdom and
encouragement to move into yourhighest and best calling.
(38:58):
Thanks everyone, Megan, thankyou, thank you, thank you.
Host
Tonya J. Long
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