Reset Yourself 22 Podcast (Episode 174) "The Saint, The Sinner, The Imposter & YOU?"

This Evolution will be televised! Hello! My name is Jimmy Gonzalez and I am a Hypnotherapist, Energy Healer, Past Life Regressionist, Sound Healer, Mindset Coach, and a wonderful listener! WHY? Well, because I love people! I love story telling but I really enjoy listening to YOU! Not just about what is wrong with YOU but primarily what is right with YOU! These are the things that make us amazing, and these are the stories we should focus on! I started this show to inspire YOU! To make YOU think and to remind YOU that YOU are pretty BAD ASS! Well, YOU are! I produce, record all of my shows and I hope YOU like my show! If YOU do, please let me know what YOU think! If you don’t like my show! Please let me know! I love criticism!!! It is how I learn to better myself. :) If you do like my podcast I came across this service as a way for people to show their appreciation for my time. It is called Buy me a coffee! It is just as it sounds. If you would like to show thanks by listening to my podcast, I ask that you buy me a COFFEE! The link will take you to a site where you can do just that. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/noemahh Thank you for your support and please share my mission of inspiring you! If you would like to listen to my meditations, please visit: Mind’s Eye Meditations    / @mindseyemeditation   Subliminal Sessions    • Subliminal Sessions   Check out my first book! (Kindle version) Paperback is in the works for later this summer. You can download it right it now for under $5!!!! "The Reset Yourself Workbook"

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Please note this show contains adult language and themes and
is intended for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Daily, Beloved, we all gathered here today to get through
this thing called like.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
You are listening to the Reset Yourself? What You Podcast?

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Me?

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Your host, Jimmy Dunzalis, Hello, how are you? I hope
you are well? This is my co producer Henry. As
he's gone, he does his work and leaves Welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
As she said to the Reset Yourself twenty two podcast,
Episode one, one hundred and seventy four. Today's topic, actually
today's title is the Saint, the Sinner, the impostor, and You.
In this weekly podcast, I focus on sparking your inner
confidence and igniting your belief in yourself. I'm your host,

(01:38):
and I'm always very thrilled to share my thoughts and research.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
With you.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
As we go along together on this journey, we can nurture,
hopefully a mindset that empowers us to reach our fullest potential.
I write a record every episode to challenge our thinking,
because as I'm I'm thinking, and to encourage us to
reflect and hopefully inspire what I feel is actionable steps

(02:11):
towards our personal growth, whether you're facing a career transition,
seeking to overcome challenges, or simply striving for greater fulfillment
in our lives. This podcast has been the goal to
resource now for hundreds of people, which for that I
thank you and practical insights.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
My inspiration to do the.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Show is to teach people to focus more on what
they can accomplish so they do the things they need
to do when they need to do them, so that
ultimately they get the things they want when they want
to have them.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
And this episode is always, always, always, always dedicated to you.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Tell me what you want and I will show you
how to get it. The question is are you willing
to get off your ass and do the work. So,
as I said Saint Sinner, and you the human, who
are you? I do not mean who are you based
on the facade that you may have pieced together since

(03:18):
grammar school, high school, or from you know, group of friends,
peer pressure, remember that, and or a place the person
you've be come from place to place in your life
or state to state.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
As we move from place to place, we change.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Some people change everything, not just their shave, their beards,
or their hair color, but they change their names. They
changed their complete lives, so they changed their careers. I
watch a lot of murder, television, dateline and stuff like that.
So yes, it's amazing how not because just the stuff
like that, but how people will just pick pack their
bags up, moved to a different state. We did that,

(03:56):
We didn't change anything, but people will do that and
just to just to step out of their life, which
actually a part of that.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
There was.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
A life coach that I saw about a month ago,
two months ago that his belief is that if your
life is stale and it's just nothing's changing, sometimes the
best thing you can do, much better than changing your mindset,
is to change your physical location, like literally walk away

(04:30):
from your job, pack your shit up, and move to
as far away as possible, and do not be afraid
to think outside the.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Box and to challenge yourself. You'd be surprised.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
I did some research on this topic, and a lot
of people do it. They just get to the point
that after divorce, after just having bad job after bad job,
or just luck just what they feel is just shitty,
shitty luck, they finally just go, you know what, I'm
just going to start over, start fresh, And they just

(05:06):
packed their stuff up and just start looking in indeed
in other places for jobs and start someplace completely different
and it works for them. And as many say, they
burn their bridges, which is funny because a lot of
people say you should never burn your bridges. I'm a
strong believer that sometimes it's okay because while that bridge

(05:27):
is there, your subconscious mind is thinking there's.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Always a way home, there's always a way back, and
when you burn your bridge, you are forced to make it.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
That is why I believe the people that have actually
done the best in your lives are the ones that
were truly challenged, the ones that actually had everything handed
to them. They never appreciated it and they never really
earned it. It was handed to you.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
So for those of us that.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Have go on through life with challenge after challenge constantly,
I applaud you because at the moment you may you know,
like you know, just this sucks, but you don't realize
when all is said and done, you come out a
stronger warrior, a stronger soldier in life. You are so

(06:20):
much more prepared for everything.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
I have met people.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Older that have really done nothing with their lives. They
have just slid by, and now they are an adult
and they don't have the capacity to do anything, and
to me, because I was always the opposite, it terrifies
me thinking that if push came to shove, I was

(06:46):
by myself, I wouldn't know how to do the most
basic things in life. I would need to be surrounded
by people to have them do everything. And again this
isn't judging, it's just the cards that we are drawn.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
To me.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
It goes back to karma and our past lives and
the things that we have brought from other lives to
this life, and now.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
We have to deal with it, learn from it. It's
not easy, but you know.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
When you're challenged, you take on this survival habit of
fitting here and there and more often what you believe
in and who you are and who you.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Really are, which is what this is really about.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
It is during sessions with clients like I said I
just mentioned in later years, the older clients that are
now truly banged up and quite dented. Their armor is
banged up and dented, but they find themselves like a vampire,
no longer seeing a reflection in the mirror. They've been
on autopilot for so many years, just trying.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
To get by, pay my bills, pay my taxes that
they never just they aren't able to just sit, be
still and truly smell the roses. A lot of people
say they do, And I ask you, do you think
about it?

Speaker 2 (08:15):
Do you can you go somewhere, drive somewhere that you've
never been before. So let's say you're driving down the
street and there's a park on your right that you've
never been to before, and you go you park, you
get out, and you go find the bench and you
sit there for one hour, which is nothing, but and

(08:39):
you know what you're gonna do for that one hour.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
Nothing. You immediately when you sit there, first you're gonna do.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Is you're gonna tap into your conscious mind. So you're
gonna think of like, wow, look at the trees, look
at the birds, to those children.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Oh this bench is nice, Oh wow, this is cool.
Oh wow.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
Okay, But before you know it, your thinkings are get
deeper and you start to think about your day, your plans.
Then it gets deeper, how do you feel, what your
goals are? And then it gets to the point that
it's just like, why am I here not just in
this park? And you start analyzing your decisions, your choices

(09:21):
in life. You really start breaking down and dissecting, which,
to me, that's what meditation is. That's why a lot
of people surprisingly can't do meditation, because meditation is basically
unplugging yourself from the outside world and thinking, whereas a

(09:41):
lot of people think meditation is like just doing the
hum and quieting your mind completely realistically, it's just my
opinion from doing it now over twenty years is now
that's why people say when I do it, my mind races,
and it's like, yes, exactly, that's the idea.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Your mind will race.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
So what you do is you start breaking down these races,
these these lanes of thought, like, okay, so what's important,
what's not? What do I have to handle today, What
don't I have to handle today? What can I put
back in the file for another week, another month, another year?
What do I have to accomplish in a week, a month,
and a year. And that's what happens when you're trying
to figure out who you are and who is that

(10:23):
person in the mirror.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
Is it the saint, the center.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Or the impostor think about that imposter syndrome. Yeah, we
will get into that. A bird just flu and landed
like round the corner of the window. When was the
last time that you took one minute?

Speaker 1 (10:43):
One minute? Notice? I said an hour.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Now I'm going down to one minute, sixty seconds to
look at yourself, to.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Your reflection in the mirror.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Now, brush your hair and brush your teeth while you're
looking at yourself quickly to make sure there's no toothpaste
ripping off your mouth. I'm talking about like, just stay there,
look at your face, look at your lips, your eyes,
the color of your eyes, any any little spots, blemishes,

(11:15):
the wrinkles as you beautifully age. I have such an
issue with people that do plastic surgery. It's just like,
to me, you are desecrating your body. We get old,
it's normal.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
To me. I mean to me, that's the ultimate scent.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
Like you know, God, Universe, Goddess, whatever you'd like to say,
gave you this, this temple, and you're gonna shirt creating
something that you're not, a facade that you're not because.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
God forbid other people judge me. Who fucking cares?

Speaker 2 (11:54):
What do other people think of me?

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Again?

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Who fucking cares? All that matters is what you think
about yourself sixty seconds. Think about that one minute. When
was the last time you could take one minute to
stand in front of a mirror, and I've had people
do it during meditation and they just start crying.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
They can't handle it. It's just too much for them.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
You're looking at think about it, and every time you
look at yourself in the mirror, you're looking at an
older version of you, and you start asking yourself, how
long have I come? How much baggage do I have
stacked up in that closet behind me? Of skeletons, the sins,
the shame, the many.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Mistakes that you you yes, you, I'm talking to you
that you have created.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Do you now allow yourself to have become this new,
beaten and battered version of you that now you share
it on Facebook that I have made mistakes? If the
version of you as a much younger you, Yeah, if
a version of you walked into the room right now
today wherever you are, if the younger version of you

(13:09):
right now that door opens up and comes in, what
would they think.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Standing in front of you?

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Maybe before this version of you is a version of
you that happened way before anything made in your life
changed you. We've all had those moments in our lives
that we were like on this path. Everything is good,
and then all of a sudden, a divorce, a big failure,

(13:44):
drop out of school, and then life changes for us
again the dent and the things. What would that young
person say to the present, to you, we all have
these big moments that have happened to us. Maybe some

(14:05):
deceit like I said, or breakup, a divorce, anything, but
we you know, I ask you go back to a
moment when you did something really really bad in your life,
when life.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Pulled that rug out from under you.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
Maybe in your mind when you Usually when we're young,
we think we're on the perfect path, the path that
we assumed we would be on when we were a kid.
You had it all laid out. This is exactly how
my life is going to be. This is exactly how
it's going to happen. That moment that began the change
of having to survive. And now you find yourself trying

(14:46):
to just get by, and like I said, many of
us can deal with it. So we just switch over
to autopilot and just focus on Monday through Friday, getting
my job, getting my paycheck, coming home, making sure dinner
is ready throughout the week. The weekn comes, hopefully I
can go out, do something, see something, go somewhere. Monday

(15:06):
happens again, Monday happens again.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
Monday happens again to me. The January podcast that I
did was yesterday, feels like it? Where in May?

Speaker 2 (15:23):
January, February, March, April, May, five months? What have you
done since January?

Speaker 1 (15:33):
First? What have you accomplished?

Speaker 2 (15:41):
Or do you allow that moment that began to change you?
Like I said, control you become you and force you
to stop and stop living and you just gave up?

Speaker 1 (15:55):
I mean maybe you didn't.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
In life has been perfect for you? And if it has,
this podcast isn't for you? And if so, if you
do have a perfect life, I applaud you, and I stay.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Stay focused, and keep going.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Maybe you can share this episode with someone else that
may have had an imperfect life, find themselves confused between
being a saint, a sinner and an impostor. But if

(16:36):
you have found yourself detached, confused, no longer really knowing
who you are anymore? As many of us do, I ask,
before all this happened, who were you?

Speaker 1 (16:45):
Really? Think about it?

Speaker 2 (16:47):
This question deceptively simple, you can feel impossible to answer.
Who were you before everything happens? Before your heart was broken,
before you lost your job, before you just decided you
weren't happy.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
This is in the life. I wanted what happened? When
did I go off this path?

Speaker 2 (17:11):
And how did I get on the path?

Speaker 1 (17:13):
I am now? How did I even get on this path?

Speaker 2 (17:17):
You're like way on it now you're looking back like
that was how did I get here? Like I said before?
You know, most of our lives, uh, we were guided
by rolls, expectations and images that we have constructed, projections
shaped by culture, trauma, upbringing, and a deep need.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
To be accepted and loved. Over time, this.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
Constructed self becomes so embedded in our identities that we
begin to mistake the facade for truth, and we start
to believe this ship that we are perfect. I am
a perfect perfect Everything is perfect great, every everything is perfect.
And somewhere beneath this polished, perfect surface, the real self

(18:06):
waits patiently, whispering reminders of its existences in moments of stillness, discomfort,
and unexplainable yearning. Getting to know the real you requires
peeling back the layers like an onion, the saint that
you tried to be, the sinner that you hide, and

(18:29):
that complex ever evolving human navigating life's many chaos, as
it also means confronting the impostor, the mask that we
wear so convincingly that sometimes you forget.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
It's just a mask.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Then you meet new people in your life, think about it,
and the person they are getting to know is the
person that you created. That happens often, and then all
of a sudden, two, three, four or five years into
the relationship, you just, for some reason take the mask off,
and now that person does the whole who are you?

Speaker 1 (19:11):
You changed? It's like, no, I am who I have
always been. I have never changed. Oh impostor syndrome.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
I have wrestled with the syndrome, this impostor of who
I see in the mirror and who I really think
I am. But just then I am unsure of Impostor
syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals persistently doubt their

(19:45):
accomplishments and abilities, fearing an fearing that they will be
exposed as a fraud despite.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Evidence of their success.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
You are very successful, but yet you question your success
and you're like, maybe the whole world will figure out
that I'm not a success, but you are. It's characterized
by self doubt, feels of inadequacy, and the belief that
others perceive me as more competent than I truly am.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Maybe I'm living a lie. Am I the mask that
I am wearing? Or is the mask truly just me?

Speaker 2 (20:27):
I mean, I have gone through many chapters in my
life that I know based on what those around me
have told me, that I'm really good at something. I'm
a natural at something. I've become a master of my
art of many different things. I've worn many different hats.
But yet for some reason, people around me believed more

(20:48):
in me than I believed in me. Ain't that crazy?
Every day and in every way, I do the work
I look at the man in my mirror and I question,
I challenge. Like I said, I do the work of
being self aware and focusing and getting to know who
that person is that I'm looking at. Who I am

(21:09):
now at fifty five years of age, compared to the
fifty year old that I was, the thirty year old,
the teenager, and that little boy that I just wanted
to be a superhero and save the world.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
Sounds like such an easy path.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
I just want to save the world, and I want
the world to save it with me. But a lot
of people in the world don't want saving. They don't
have the cogs, the ability to even understand what's going
on in their lives. They're not willing to just go
deep and really think shit through. This journey is not

(21:48):
for the faint of heart, but it is essential for
only when you meet yourself, when only only when you
meet yourself fully, the messy, brilliant, broken and beautiful you,
can you begin to live with authenticity and depth. How

(22:08):
about going through life wanting to be the one without sin,
not being accepted, but not being accepting of any of
my mistakes, and quickly pointing fingers at others. I think
that's fascinating when people are so quick to judge and
point with that person, this person, with that person over there,

(22:29):
You and you and you, Who the fuck are you
to point fingers on anybody else?

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Those with glass houses should never throw rocks when it
comes to that. We all have glasshouses, and who are
you to cast the first stone at anyone?

Speaker 2 (22:50):
We strive to be a saint, chasing purity, but in
an extremely flawed world. Many of us strive to be great, good,
want to be kind, generous, moral, and right. But the
impulse towards sainthood is often rooted in a genuine desire
to do well by others and by ourselves. We emulate

(23:12):
saints in religion, heroes in fiction, or role models in society.
This saint within us seeks peace, righteousness, and higher purpose.
But the pursuit of sainthood.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
Just becomes a performance. We may suppress our.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Anger, deny our needs, and wear politeness like armor. We
become people pleasers, moral perfectionists, and emotional avoidance. We confuse
goodness with self erasure. The saint Lee's self is important.
It's the part of us that dreams of transcendence, that

(23:58):
believes in hope and compassion. But it must be tempered
with realism. Without acknowledging our darkest, darker parts, our saintliness
becomes hollow, a virtual signaling echo without a deep chord center.

(24:18):
To get to know the real you, the saints must
come down from the pedestal and become human again, flawed, striving, learning,
and willing to embrace all of life's many, many complexities.
But then we have the sinner that you know that

(24:40):
not so perfect human. Are you more saint, more sinner?
Maybe in the middle, What do you are saints or
ciner the sinner owning the shadows that I have mentioned
shadow work in the past many episodes. Every person holds
a shadow. The shadow is not a fl law. It

(25:00):
is an essential part of human the human psyche. The
sinner is the part of us that envies, judges, sabotages,
and hungers for more, you know, greed, greed, it's the
part that makes mistakes, sometimes deliberately. What Yeah, sometimes deliberately,

(25:24):
that's that's a thing. A lot of times subconsciously, we're
choosing to make mistakes for whatever reason, because we want
more drama in our life, or because when we were kids,
if we did bad things, mom and dad came in
and beat us, but they still showed us attention.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Think about that.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
It's attention. Some kids just want to be held, even
if it's being held when being beaten. I just spoke
to someone about someone else who he stated that his
mother beat him all the time, and that when he
found himself acting okay and his mother wouldn't beat him,

(26:08):
she just kind of like pushed him aside and focused
on the other crappy kids or on life. So the
only time she truly showed emotion, not trying to say
which type of emotion, But emotion was when she would
go and you hit him with a slipper, and then
after the fact she would cry while she was doing this,

(26:28):
and then after the fact she would hug him and
be like, I'm so sorry, oh my god, I just
have so much I'm juggling. She was a single mom,
the weight of the world, many children. So he got
to the point that he would find himself doing stupid shit,
getting into trouble so that mom would come home, show

(26:50):
him emotion, show him attention for that moment, put him
on a pedestal even though she's beating him. And I
know many of you right now are going, what it's attention.
It's some type of attention. A lot of people do
bad shit because they still receive attention.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
A lot of serial killers or shooters. If you read
their stories. I love reading their stories.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
A lot of them will say their thought was that
they were a nobody.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
Now nobody.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
They're just the average Joe works, the average job, has
the average relationships.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Boring, boring, boring.

Speaker 2 (27:29):
All of a sudden, they look up to people. You know,
you watch movies of Hitler speaking, you watch serial killers.
I mean you put on cable, the Roku channel, and
there's all these documentaries on all these serial killers or
just you know, murderers or cult leaders, and they begin
to like look up to them, and people are like,

(27:50):
oh my god, but they're crazy and they killed me, right,
But it's a form of attention. So now they see
themselves wanting to be famous. There have been many shooters
that have said it because they wanted.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
To be infamous, which if you don't know, look it up.
There's a difference between famous and infamous.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
The sinners, like I said, just this part of us
that just always envies judges, sabotages and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Sometimes deliberately we do this. We often bury this self
deep in shame, hoping that we ignore it long enough
that it will go away.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
Like I'll be a piece of shit for today and
you know by tomorrow it will be gone. Until I
realized that I killed someone and now I'm going to
jail for the rest of my life, which, as I said,
I watch a lot of court TV, murder TV, and
it's always the look on their face almost as if
when you hear guilty, it's as if they look like, what.

Speaker 1 (28:53):
Like, yeah, you killed someone? I mean, you killed somebody. Sorry,
you broke the law. You break the law, you go
to jail, you get some form of punishment.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
But in their mind they were on this roller coaster
ride of wanting to be infamous. And there they are
and oh my god. And they get to the court
and there is the media and paparazzi and pictures and
oh my god, and look at that this guy who
lived in a one room apartment in the middle of nowhere,
nobody knew who existed, and now all of a sudden,
he's on every television station.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
The news is following him. Manson has been dead for
quite some time. Now, think about it.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
I find somebody who doesn't know who Charles Manson is.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
It's attention. It's still attention.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
You're not just a person you show to your boss,
your partner, or your Instagram and Facebook followers. You're also
the person who has thought terrible things. You have made
wrong choices, heard others lie, desired what you shouldn't, and
many of you have acted out on fear or rage.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
You're still human.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
Embracing the sinner does not mean glorifying. You're not glorifying cruelty,
your harm. It means being honest with yourself. When we
admit to our imperfections, we break the chains.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Of shame and we move towards growth.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
What we realize that sin, in its essence is not
a label of condemnation, but it's a teacher of truth.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Think about that, it's a teacher of truth. The sinner
within you.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
Holds stories worth listening to. It is often through our
darkest moments that we discover our strength, our humility, and
our resilience. Getting to know yourself means walking into the
shadows and lighting a candle. Instead of pretending that the
darkness isn't there, the darkness is there. You have done

(31:03):
some fucked up shit. Try to hide it, try to
deny it. That's great, try to like push it away
forever if it works for you, which doesn't for many,
even though lot of people say, yeah, it work, No
it doesn't because it comes out every so often, every
so often that closet in the back, a bone shoots out.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
But let us let us okay, so let us let's visit.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Let's talk about the balanced mindset between the saints and
the center that does live within you. That you know
that human being that you are, this human self is tender, confused, strong, weak, joyous, anger, creative,
and scared. It is the part of you that is

(31:49):
not here to be perfect or damned, but just to
experience life, Just to experience life, to fall in love,
to grieve, to laugh, sometimes uncontrollably until the milk shoots
out your nose, to make coffee on a sleepy morning,

(32:10):
To hold someone's hand or to hold a cat, To
start over after a failure, again and again and again.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
To doubt everything, to believe again.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
The human you is neither a moral archetype nor a
cautionary tale. You are a living paradox, a walking question mark,
capable of both harm and healing, selfishness and sacrifice. So
many of us forget this truth because we've been taught

(32:46):
to be either one or the other, good or bad,
worthy or unworthy, light or dark. But life doesn't operate
in such binary terms as many believe. The real you
is born from both and not either or. When you
stop trying to be perfect or punished and instead allow.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yourself to be just.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
Human, you reclaim your wholeness from saint to sinner, to
the human to self created impostor what a tangled web
we create when we lose ourselves in the opinions and
beliefs of those around us. We lose ourselves in our facade.

(33:37):
I think a lot of people, actually, I know a
lot of people have said that during the whole COVID thing,
wearing that mask.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
They preferred it.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
They felt more free. Think about that, they felt more free,
covering themselves more If you agree with that, and again
I'm not judging, I ask you why.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
I hated it.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
I fucking hated it. And I remember I was in
a diner in Milford, Connecticut when that was the first
time that it was like, Okay, we're back open, and
they were only open for a few hours, which you know,
because COVID only attacks you between six and nine or something.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Fucking stupid. The whole thing was a.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Joke, but it was the first time I saw a
waitress take her mask off, and I said to her, Wow,
what a pleasure to see your full face, What a
pleasure to see your smile, to see your emotions.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
How how you truly are not hiding behind a mask?
What are you hiding behind? What are you hiding?

Speaker 2 (34:49):
The most dangerous part of this journey is not your shadow.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
Or your flaws.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
It's like I said, it's the impostor that you have
built to replace the real you. This impostor is the
version of yourself that you've created to survive.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
I don't fucking know. Maybe it was necessary at first.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
You learned to be agreeable to avoid conflict. You became
an overachiever to gain love. You played it safe to
avoid disappointment. The impostor was a defense mechanism. But over
time the performance becomes the personality. You wake up one

(35:29):
day unsure of.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
What you really think, what you actually want, or who
you are.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Beneath this persona that you have created. You don't remember
the last time you made a decision without asking what
others would think, how others would judge your outfit? What
will they think of my weight, my wrinkles, my hair.
This is the cost of the impostor. To me, it's

(35:57):
a quiet, a numbness that seeps into your relationships, your creativity,
your self worth. You feel lost, not because you lack direction,
but because you're walking in someone else's shoes. I love
that to find your way back, you must unlearn the

(36:17):
roles that you've clung to. This means letting go of
the applause and the approve and learning to sit with discomfort.
Sometimes I feel it's very good, very good to be uncomfortable,
and you ask yourself, how do you react? You want
to quickly question and you know, because I'm that happy

(36:39):
right here, So I have to get up.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
I have to do this. Oh my god, I'm just
uncomfortable because what is wrong with you? Or what is
right with you?

Speaker 2 (36:49):
Why can't you just be in the moment and breathe?
Are you lost forever? Now? At this point, at your
age and trust, I'm not thinking you're just old people.
There's a lot I've met a lot of teenagers even younger,
not so much here but up north.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
That I'm like, I'm fascinated. I'm like, I always how
old are you? And I am seventeen, and I'm like, Wow,
your future is gonna be interesting. Are they lost forever?
Are you willing to face yourself? The real you?

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Getting to know the real you is not a destination,
It's just it's a return, coming home to a self
you've always known but learned to ignore. It's not about
discovering something new, someone new, but about remembering something old,
something true. You are not just your job, your trauma,

(37:57):
your image, or your reputation.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
You are the quiet thoughts you have when no one's watching.
I love that so much.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
That's not mine, that part's not mine, but it's true.
It's like, do you not shoplift because you're gonna get caught?
Do you not shoplift because it's wrong? If you knew
that nobody would see you doing.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
It, would you still do it?

Speaker 2 (38:29):
If you're walking through a department store, any store, a supermarket,
there's nobody in the aisle at all, and you know,
and I'm telling you right now, there's no cameras, no
one will know. And there is a wallet on the
ground and there is a stack of money coming out
of it. What's your first thought? It's your first thought?

Speaker 1 (38:59):
Is it shit? Who dropped this? And how do I
get it to them? Or is it to coming home
to self who you are? Who you really are when
nobody's there? You are still. I believe you still have dreams,

(39:27):
you still have hopes, things that.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
You desired when you were young. Sadly most of that
is crushed down because you see it now is silly,
it's stupid. Yes, I wanted to do X, Y and
SE when I was young, but you know now I
have to pay bills. I have to work, I have responsibilities,
I have family, I have friends, I have kids, I
have That's a.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
Crock of shit.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
That's just excuses, because you do know, here's the thing,
remember the whole eight But I always say there's about
eight billion people on the planet. Yeah, a lot of
them actually have all of that. Okay, and they and they,
they are balancing all of this, and they volunteer and
they do this, and they have weekend things and they
do this and they still make.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
The time because it's what they want to make it happen.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
So the question isn't do I have the time or
society is holding me down? Is do you really want it?
And then at that point you get so lost in
this facade that my question to you is, okay, so
who are you.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
And what is it you really want?

Speaker 2 (40:32):
So I think it's beautiful that I've met people that
have been unhappily married for years, have had so many children,
picket fans, dogs, career, and I'm thinking of one person particularly,
and all of a sudden the wife passed, so he
of course could have done what a lot of old

(40:53):
people do is just go to shit. Oh my god,
she defined me it's all done over. What am I
supposed to do? But he, of course was traumatizing in
the beginning. Plus he was with her for I want
to say, like fifty something years. About two years after

(41:13):
her passing, he opened his own garage because he was
kind of a mechanic on the side. He opened his
own garage, became a mechanic, full time mechanic, met a
wonderful woman who actually became his secretary, an older lady too,
and before you know it, they started a friendship, a
good relationship, and she ended up becoming his mom, which

(41:34):
is fine.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
He needed that in his life.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
So you know, she's the one who would call me
to make appointments for him, which I thought was fascinating
and cute. But the way he talked about it was
like she is she was a puzzle that he really
needed in his life, a puzzle piece. But he's getting
to know the real you, which, for many of us,
is this sacred rebellion in a world obsessed with this

(42:00):
usion of who we portray we are. Look at me,
look at me? Just who fucking cares? I always tell
people like, go, how's your day? And I think people
really nobody cares? You know what's going on in your life.
Nobody really really cares. Focus on what you want in
your life, and getting your shit together is the true

(42:20):
choosing truth over comfort, presence over perfection, and connection over control.
I understand that everyone walks a different beat, but some
of the bullshit, the horror of the traumas that we
have been through, we do not have.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
We do not have to let it define us.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
I always have to bring up examples because a lot
of these people, to me, amaze me. Here are a
few people that have dealt with some extremely challenging situations
that could have pushed them far over the edge, but
they acknowledged it, and they used this energy. It's just energy,
good or bad, horrible, sadistic, whatever it is, it's energy.

(43:02):
So now what are you going to do with this
ball of energy that uses energy to empower them and
not destroy them. These are people that have hit rock
bottom face first, got back up and fought to survive,
you know. The actress Charlie's Theran. A lot of these

(43:22):
I know, and I always try to pick new people
because I always end up going to the safe because
they're just fascinating to me. But Charlie's Thorn the actress
has dealt with her own shadows. When she was a
fifteen year old farm girl, she watched her mother kill
her abusive dad in self defense. She then moved to

(43:43):
Manhattan to pursue a career in dance, but her knees
blew out. Her future as a ballerina was done.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
So.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
At nineteen years old, this actress was living in an
La shithole, just trying to get jobs from different restaurants,
trying to get by, trying to survive. Final finally, in dignity,
after begging mom for cash to starve off starvation, she

(44:22):
wrote her check and a Hollywood bank refused to cash
that check. It was an out of town check for
five hundred bucks, she said out loudly, like she is
down in the dumb. She has hit rock bottom. You
don't understand. Please please, she unsuccessfully begged to tell her. So,

(44:44):
Charlie's a young Charlie's freaked the fuck out. She began screaming,
filailing temper tantrum in front of this busy lunchtime crowd
at the bank.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Can you see it?

Speaker 2 (44:57):
It was her biggest and most captivating audience to date,
she feels, but the silver lining was that. Little did
she know it was also her first successful audition. Talent
manager I love I love this stuff, John Crosby. He

(45:19):
was over there in the corner waiting to use the
ATM when he was captivated by this empowered woman, this
high strung young woman, and he walked up and he says,
if you're interested, I will represent you. And she later on,
in an interview, said, if I hadn't been in the
bank that day, losing my shit, totally stressed out, in tears,

(45:45):
I honestly don't think I would be here right now.
A few months of acting classes later, she landed her
first screen role, and it was in Children of the
Corn three, and there.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
She goes Liam Neeson.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
I've always known, based on his movie choices that there's
more to this guy. Well, at an age when most
lead actors are edging into supporting gigs, this Irish thespian
seemed to be pulling off something truly unique. In two
thousand and nine, a late career transformation into an action star,

(46:26):
his down and dirty revenge flick Taken.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
Have you watched that? It's pretty good?

Speaker 2 (46:31):
It shocked a lot of people by earning a quarter
of a billion dollars. Nissan was finally up there in
the A list, doing well, top of his world, right
top of his game, and then tragedy hit. His wife,
Natasha Richardson died of a freak head injury skiing the

(46:51):
Beginner's Slope on this wonderful, beautiful Canadian resort.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Top of his world.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
Paparazzi photo from time to time, if you look it up,
you'll see this picture the face of a broken man
after it just happened. And he will always say in
an interview, I think it said sixty minutes that her
death to him still isn't real. But he survived and

(47:19):
thrived by throwing his full energies into his career and
raising his two young sons. And now Nisson is at
the peak of his bank ability. He's sixty one years well,
when this was recorded, was sixty one years of age,
and he found himself angry at the world. So he

(47:39):
found themself going out there and picking fights with people
at bars, and he felt embarrassed. But he put that
energy towards action movies, releasing that energy, and then he
did Taken two, which was worldwide hit twenty million dollars payday,
and then taken three. I mean, and it's funny because he's, like,

(48:03):
you know, many people believe that the kick ass authority
he brings to Rose displays more than just gifts of
a skilled actor. It's the work of a man who
was known devastating sorrow, what it's like to actually have
somebody taken from you. And of course it's funny because
the day before I started writing this whole topic, Melissa,

(48:25):
I mentioned this person to Melissa Cheers.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
If you remember the show Cheers, it's funny.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
I've never drank, and I'm not a bar person, but
growing up I was so hooked on the TV show Cheers. Yes, Cheers,
I know all of the topics. I actually played trivia
with a few people and we stopped playing because I
knew every single question well answer.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
But I can't go on without mentioning Kelsey Grammer. Remember
the psychiatrist Frazer.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
He went on to have his own show. Kelsey Grammer
was thirteen with his father, Edward, was murdered in his home.
Edward was shot multiple times by an assailant who had
set fire to the house.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
He was thirteen.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Then his sister Karen, who was eighteen, was abducted and
murdered in nineteen seventy five and Colorado Springs, Colorado. She
was working at a red lobster restaurant when she was
taken by three men who initially planned to rob the restaurant,
and after promising to release her, they instead drove her
to a mobile home park and one of them stabbed.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
Her many, many, many times.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Then, of course, a few years later, a lot of
shit continued to happen in his life. His brother, his
half brother, his half brother died in his very close
half brother died.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
In a scuba diving accident. Did he let it destroy him?

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Did Helay allow this loss to define him? Or did
he bounce back and become successful a successful actor. As
we all know and love, the tragedy is, particularly the
murder of his sister.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
It didn't just go away, but it led.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
Kelsey Grammar to struggle with substance abuse, including cocaine and
alcohol badly for years. He has also spoken about the
guilt and self destruction he experienced in the aftermath of
his sister being killed. But as we are all tasked
to do, everything every morning is to haul ourselves out

(50:35):
of bed, sometimes very achy, sometimes sore. In fact, more
and more as we get older, but we still have
to get up. We put on our pants, all one
leg at a time. We brush our hair, we brush
our teeth, and we shower. We clean up as best
as we can and prepare for the day, and we

(50:56):
move forward throughout our day, allowing the sins of our
past that anchor deep down in our psyche to keep us.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
Down.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Or do we begin to work on severing those chains,
releasing those sins, because holding on to this stuff really
does a lot of damage by not letting us get
to know who we are right now. It's that mask
that we keep creating. Instead of focusing on who we

(51:30):
were then before the murders and all that stuff happened
in his life, he focused on who he is right
now and who he has to be today. I don't
think you should ever forget your past.

Speaker 1 (51:42):
To me, it is like.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Forgetting everything you've learned. You learn things, things, shit happens
to you to make you a better person. But to
continue to focus on these things over and over and over,
it's not healthy and.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
It stunts your life.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Like with these examples that I've shared between Charlie's Liam
and Kelsey Grammar, they've had no choice but to get
up dust and sells off and begin to reconnect with
their true selves. Damaged dharmer of course, but still ready
to get back into battle every single morning.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
And of course, as you know me on my podcast,
I always have to have some type of work that
you could do. It's up to you.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
But these are exercises for recognizing.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
Your true self.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
It's funny because I've actually had people do these and
like a lot of people will write to me after
the fact I did this.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
I did that. That was difficult, but I did it.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
And this one I just couldn't do. But you know
what a month later, Like you know, I did it
a month later and it worked out great.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
And dad, So let.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Us begin with something very simple, something that I have
shared with so many guests of my meditation classes and
with quite a few clients.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
The mirror letter.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Stand in front of a mirror, pretty simple, and look
at yourself in the eyes. As you're standing there, looking
at yourself in your mind, write a letter to yourself
from yourself. I know it's like, well, just talk to yourself, right,

(53:22):
but I want to add that extra step, see yourself
writing a letter as you look up.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
Writing a letter as you.

Speaker 2 (53:30):
Look up, say everything you've been afraid to say to yourself.
Let the saints, the sinner, and the human all speak
together and be as honest as possible. You may laugh,
you may cry, you may even judge yourself. But as
I said, it is time to cut the chain connected
to the anchor because it no longer benefits you. The

(53:54):
next one is great for those who suffer from imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
I would like to call this my inventory of masks.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
This is where you list the different roles you play.
So you sit there and you go through your mind
and you go, well, let's say I was a caregiver.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
I was an achiever. I was a clown. I was
a DJ. I was a chief animal control officer. I
was a farmer. I was a dad. I was a husband,
I was a son.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
I was a brother. For each one, you ask yourself,
when did you become this person? Was it something that
you became, something you choose, or something.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
You were put into that position? Are you happy with
that title?

Speaker 2 (54:38):
And in many cases creating this new role, whatever it is,
what does it protect you from? Was it something that
you created to keep you away out of trouble? Is
it something you just walked into and now here you are.
Two three years later, you're like, I'm not this person.
What did this mask, this role lost you? And then

(55:03):
now decide which masks you need to take off that
no longer suit you, no longer define you think about it.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Some of these masks have just become habitual.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
This is who I am. I'm the factory worker. I'm
the factory worker. Are you happy being a factory worker?
And don't say I hate Well, it's a job.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
It pays the bills. No, you can work fucking anywhere.
You just choose to stay there. Last I checked, there's god.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
It was something stupid like twenty two point nine billion jobs.
If you're not happy with your life, you can change it,
like by the end of this Actually you can change
it right now.

Speaker 1 (55:44):
Mindset change done. It's that quick. It's that quick. So
those people that walk around and.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
Just hip and hard, oh my god, blah blah blah.
But I just look at you, like, shame on you.
You're just wasting valuable time because you're choosing to be miserable.
You're choosing to wear this mask. You're choosing it, and
then you allow it to define you for five ten

(56:17):
twenty thirty fifty years. Maybe it's time to remove the mask,
strip yourself down to who you truly were, and see
yourself who you were, who you really are in the mirror.
Here's another one. Every day, take five minutes to do
something just for you, not to show off, not to

(56:39):
take pictures and share on Facebook, not for anybody else's approval,
Who cares, it's for your approval. It's funny how when
we get older, all of a sudden, we have this
belief that we can no longer just be silly.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
We have to be serious.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
That's why kids are all silly and they act silly.
When we become an adult, we're just like, no longer
allowed to laugh because I'm a responsible adult here.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
I don't know what the fuck that even means. Well,
you pay your bills okay, on time. That has nothing
to do with it. You can still live your life
and have fun and be silly and love, laugh and
just live. I mean we are.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
It's just so focused on time and paying the rent
on time and paying the bills on time. And this
person called and we need to resolve this problem by
this time, and this has to be done by today,
and the groceries have to be done by today, and
I have to make sure that I go to the
supermarket today because I have to. You know, the cost
of gas is going up, and the taxes and oh
my god, i'd have.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
To do this and have to do.

Speaker 3 (57:36):
That.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
We're no longer focused on enjoying the house that we
actually do pay rent for or the mortgage where you know,
the groceries that cost so much.

Speaker 1 (57:46):
Oh my god, oh my god. There's so funny.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
You go to the you know again, I don't see
that here, but up north, you go to the supermarket
and you talking, and all you do is complain about
the supermarket and the cost of living and the cost
of eggs and the cost of this, and the cost
and the cost of I'm blessed to say down here,
it's a very different mindset.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
Here is just living.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
It's just like, yeah, the eggs are expensive, grow your
own chickens. I mean, you know, it's like, instead of
focusing on the cost of everything and everything that you're
buying and how horrible it is, focus on when you
get home and you crack open the cheese or make
yourself a sandwich, or you make yourself a steak or
some burghers or whatever.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
A glass of this, a glass of that, and.

Speaker 2 (58:32):
You drink it, and you eat it and enjoy and
go I'm blessed. Or the cost of gas is so much,
how about enjoying the fact that that cost of gas,
the gasoline is getting you from point A to point B. See,
it's reframing your entire life and hypnosis. I do a
lot of things called reframing, just taking away of thinking
and reframing it. The picture stays, you reframe the way

(58:54):
you see it. That's how people survive, succeed, they do
well in lives because they do that. So it's taking
five minutes to reframe your way of thinking and seeing
the beauty of it. More than in general, the closer things,
the closer you get to what you're really living for.

(59:15):
The car that you're putting the gas into, the stomach
you're putting the food into, the.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
Home that you have the roof over your head.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
Instead of complaining about the cost of the roof, well,
then fucking move or the job. Then get another job.
If you choose not to, that's fine. But the complaining,
it gets old, it gets fucking old, doesn't do anything
for you.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
Every day When I go out. Here's a secret not
many people know.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
I always try to take a new way to get
to a new place, a new street, a new road
that I've never taken. And it's funny because people like, oh,
but what if I get lost? It's impossible. Like I'm
fifty five. When I was sixteen years old. When I
was sixteen years old, I got my license on a Thursday.

(01:00:09):
That Saturday morning, I jumped in the family car, okay,
and I drove to Manhattan because I had already been
going to Manhattan on the on the bus, on the
train and you Metro North and getting off at you know,
going taking the shuttle from Grand Central Station over to
Times Square, taking the seven train, and just I know
New York very well.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
And finally I have a license.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
So I drove my ass to New York City. The
only complaint that I had was hard to find parking.
But then I found, you know, these these special parking lots.
But I would My thing was the village. I knew
the village very well, so I in the East Village,
the West Village, I just know it very well. So
I would just park there anywhere on the street and
just enjoy the city by myself, and then a secret,

(01:00:56):
a secret. I would wait till evening and I would
go over take the subway down to the Staten Island
ferry dock. It's free, and I would jump into Staten
Island ferry.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
It's a free trip.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
Would you go to Staten Island, I would land, And
I've been to Staten Island, but no, I would actually
just ride the State Island Ferry for free and be
able to turn and just view the beauty the energy
of Manhattan because there there is a hum, there is
an actual hum that you hear, you feel coming from
the entire city. And as you get to a certain distance,

(01:01:33):
you no longer hear the cars, the beeping or anything.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
You just feel the presence of the city. And it
is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
And I used to I did that very often, many many,
many times, because when you get to Staten Island, you
get out with you know, you're like cattle. You get out,
and then I basically go right in, come around and
come back on again, and I go back again.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
Now I could really face the island. And I did
that often, and I would look over at Brooklyn. I
will look over at you know, Jersey, East New York.
It was great West New York.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Sorry, but here in Kentucky, I I always take new streets.
I don't do It's like, you know, I have no
place like time, So it's like I'm gonna get somewhere,
and it's just like I'm gonna make sure that I
get there, but I want to see if there's a
different way to get there, a different route, a different

(01:02:29):
road to experience the gifts that God has given me,
this beauty.

Speaker 1 (01:02:35):
That I have, instead of just getting in the car
nown it's like I'm just driving.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
That's a shame, that's criminal, that's criminal. I always and
I've always done this since I.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
Was a kid.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
I always take a new way to get somewhere. I
never try to take the same way. Why. I want
to see new places. I want to meet new people.
When was the last time you and I'm t talking
to you you when was the last time you danced?
And I don't mean like you know, professional dance. I
just talking about like just.

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
Put some music on.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
You're cleaning the house, or you're washing your car outside
music's playing and you just allowed yourself to sway a
little bit from left to right, or you in the car.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
And you just started singing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
And I hate people I don't know but saying I
know most people don't.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
Actually everybody has a singing voice. It's just not trained.

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
But you just enjoy the music, just swaying left to right.
You took the I'm a boring adult. It just started
living your life because when you were a kid used
to do it, do you remember, And you allowed yourself
to connect because that's what I'm asking you to do now,

(01:03:51):
is allow yourself to connect with that kid again.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
I find it fascinating the amount of people.

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
That I have met that have collected many things in
your life, mostly toys, you know, trucks and ATVs and
stupid shit. And they just see these things now as
just it's a collection. Whatever it is they collect, they
no longer see the passion of it anymore. You know
how I know this is true because I go on

(01:04:18):
Facebook Marketplace.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
I love Facebook Marketplace. A lot of times. I don't
buy anything.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
I just like looking. I love antiques. I like old stuff,
and I love old tools and white you know, seeing
the way things were done. And I see people selling motorcycles, boats, ATVs,
sporty cars and saying, hey, I'm selling it, and it's
usually a really good price, and that the only use
it for a few months or for a year.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
It has sat somewhere for too long and I no
longer have.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
Use for it. Okay, So I ask of you, now, you,
right now, what do you value? It doesn't have to
be an actual thing, but what do you value? It
could be emotions, It could be thoughts. It could be relationships.
It could be your pets.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
It could be a dish at hanging on the wall.
It could be DJ equipment. I have a lot of
equipment right there. What do you value that right there?

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
It's called the coffin the case that you carry your
turntables in your mix right and not sitting right there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
I've had that since I was six eighteen.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Yeah, it's been revamped a few times, but pretty much there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
Are turntables I bought when I was nineteen. I'm fifty five.
It's still right there. I value that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Right down your top five values. Not what you should value,
but what actually makes your soul feel alive. You know
those things that just make you smile, but I mean
really smile, not just like I mean like it's just
this emotion you feel of gratitude, of happiness, of feeling
blessed because of this cat.

Speaker 1 (01:05:58):
Something that connects you to the past.

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
To another time, something nostalgic, to a happier time, to
someone else in your life that meant a lot to you.
I have pictures of my family over there, my ancestry,
and I go to it almost every day. Reflect on
whether your daily actions align with these values. You say

(01:06:21):
you value all this stuff, Okay, so how much of
it is an actual part of your life. Well, I
can't go on with this topic without going back to
I mentioned the word shadow. Yeah, yes, your shadow and
doing shadow work. This can be a very sensitive subject
for many people because we don't like to admit that
we have skeletons in our closets. Many of us have

(01:06:43):
entire fucking cemeteries in there. But honestly, shoving.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
Them away and shoving them away and shoving them.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
Away and nailing that door shut doesn't do anything. This
is my opinion. Some people feel that it's just preferable
to move past to forget about it, which if you
can one hundred percent one hundred percent go for it
ninety nine percent, that's a toughie because that one percent
will haunt you for the rest of your life. But

(01:07:15):
if you're ready to do the actual work, and I
mean real work. Like I say at the beginning of
the show, pick a negative trait that you dislike about yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:07:22):
Wait, what did you just say? Yes, pick a negative.

Speaker 2 (01:07:24):
Trait that you define about yourself. Dislike about yourself, jealousy, anger, selfishness.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
What mean negative?

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
Yeah? No, way, yeah, way, You're not perfect. Remember the
whole human thing that I said. And it's okay, it's expected.

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
But here goes.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
Pick a negative trait that you have and you know what,
if you don't think you have one, ask the person
closest to you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
I think there'll be more than happy to go. Oh,
hopefully they will.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
Be honest and just not be a jerk about it.
But right, a conversation about this, this person that you've become,
this trait. You're jealous, you're this you're envious of other people?
Why do they have that?

Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
And I don't? Because they fucking worked for it and
you chose not to.

Speaker 2 (01:08:12):
You know what I call all this, It's called choices
and decisions that you've made. Some people have made right
choices and you have made some shitty ones.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
Does that mean that that it's.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
Forever absolutely not you today. After this podcast, you know,
I'm gonna start making better choices. What are you trying
to protect from yourself? What are you trying to hide
by by by living this this person, this sinner? And

(01:08:43):
start to do the work?

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
What do you what do you really you know? Are
what are you hiding about yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
Open that, open that closet, Let that ship out.

Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
So you did this? You did this? Oh my god,
how horrible.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
Trust me, you will be able to breathe when you
say I did X, Y and Z, and it's it happened.
And that was back in seventy three and eighty nine,
and in ninety four, I made some stupid decisions.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
I did some stupid shit. Why did you.

Speaker 2 (01:09:13):
Choose to create such a negative facade to protect you?
You might be surprised at the wisdom this type of
conversation will have with yourself when you really sit there
and you and you dissect yourself and all the sins.

Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
That you've done, the stupid shit that you've done, and
not well, I did this because he did that, and she.

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
Reset yourself, yourself, not reset everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
This next one could be difficult because a lot of
people don't like to do this, but for thirty days,
thirty days, if anything, seven days again, commit to writing
one truth to day about yourself, your desires, your fears,
or your past. No one has to see it. You
don't have to share it. Please don't share it on Facebook.
Nobody cares.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
But this is about being radically honest with yourself. This
topic in general opens up the concept of shadow work,
which a huge part of this is that inner child. Yes,
I have to mention the inner child. I have had
many sessions with people that have targeted through hypnosis the
inner child and how to reconnect with your inner child.

(01:10:22):
I've also done meditation sessions to reconnect with your inner
child and also pass life aggressions which obviously reconnected with
their inner child and past lives. Here it goes ask
your inner child some great questions and I feel like,
but what I anywhere?

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
Couch, bed, shower. It doesn't have to be that involved.
Picture yourself at a young age.

Speaker 2 (01:10:50):
I usually would pick an age, but I don't like
doing that anymore because I don't like and hypnosis.

Speaker 1 (01:10:54):
I don't like leading people on. You don't do that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:57):
So when I say, young child, what do you just
see do youse see yourself at nine? Do you see
yourself at nineteen at twenty nine?

Speaker 1 (01:11:03):
I don't know. Everybody sees these pictures differently of you young.

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
Like I said, there's age five, fifteen, twenty one, forty, whatever.
But depending on your current ages, it doesn't matter because
if you're you know, older, in your nineties, and I say,
enter young, fifty is young. But I ask of you
as you sit there, uh, see a picture of yourself young,
and then ask yourself in your mind's eye at that age,

(01:11:32):
looking at yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:11:33):
Young, and before you do, what do you look like?
What are you wearing?

Speaker 2 (01:11:40):
Look at your skin, look at your hair, look at
your clothes, your shirt, your belt, your pants, your shoes,
and think to yourself, this person that's in front of you.
So whatever that person is, okay, So let's just I
was nineteen, okay, that nineteen year old of you?

Speaker 1 (01:11:55):
What did you love? Who did you love? What made
you happy? What scared you?

Speaker 2 (01:12:01):
What in life did you believe? And now, all of
a sudden, before you know it, they know you're standing
in front of you.

Speaker 1 (01:12:12):
What would they think of you? Now?

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
What would that young version of you? If all of
a sudden they realize that they can see you, what
would they say about you? Now, you see this overall
episode concept is not about judging yourself. It's not about
putting yourself down or bullying yourself because we are our
worst enemy, and they say everything to say that comes

(01:12:38):
out of your mouth is heard by your mind and
your ears.

Speaker 1 (01:12:41):
And then a lot of this stupid shit that we
say we believe.

Speaker 2 (01:12:45):
I always find the fascinating when I meet somebody and
the first thing they do is put themselves down.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
It's weird.

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
I mean, like, I meet somebody at some place, I'm like, hey,
how are you, and the first thing they say is,
oh my god, excuse my.

Speaker 1 (01:12:57):
Hair, I have gains way, this outfit is ugly. I'm like, hi,
how are you?

Speaker 2 (01:13:08):
Do you want pizza? I mean, I'm sorry you feel
this way. I just wanted to see how you were
overall doing in life. I didn't want to sit here
and start judging your weight. But I'm not here to
judge you as you do yourself. Many do themselves. I'm
here to extend an olive branch and just be a friend,

(01:13:33):
an ear to listen, to shoulder, to cry on, without judgment.
That's what a good friend is. I mean, as I
said in the beginning, who the hell am I to
judge you? Who the hell am I to throw stones
at you and criticize you and pick at you. I mean, remember,
many of us have a small cemetery in that closet,

(01:13:55):
just because people don't see it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
It's there couple of years, every couple of months.

Speaker 2 (01:14:02):
Try to get to go through and empty most of
that closet because it just doesn't suit you anymore to
have all that, all those sins, all those mistakes, all
the stupidity, all the choices that you made that were horrible.
It doesn't benefit you to carry this weight of sin
of mistakes. I personally will turn around, kick that fucking

(01:14:22):
door open, and shine a light, and I deal with
those problems head on. And I as I say, control all, reset,
control all, reset, delete, delete, I remembered the memory, the
the the the.

Speaker 1 (01:14:38):
Lesson.

Speaker 2 (01:14:39):
That's all.

Speaker 1 (01:14:39):
It is, no emotion.

Speaker 2 (01:14:41):
I don't need the emotion with it. Think about that thought,
blaming other people for the poor decisions that you choose
to make.

Speaker 1 (01:14:48):
I let that ship go.

Speaker 2 (01:14:51):
I am not my facade. You are not the saints
that you pretend to be or the sinner that you hide.
You are not the mass you wear to fit in
or the role you play to feel safe. You are
something deeper, older and true, or a complex, sacred and
very very real human. Getting to know yourself again is

(01:15:12):
not always easy. It will I will ask you to
confront discomfort, let go of control, and walk through both
shadow and light. But the reward, the overall reward, is
unmatched the ability to live freely, love deeply, and stand
in the world fully alive. Consider this episode your invitation
to remember who you were.

Speaker 1 (01:15:35):
I hope I made you think. I hope I made
you question your.

Speaker 2 (01:15:39):
Existence, and to appreciate every tomorrow, every today, and be
grateful for all of the experiences of the past that
have made you who you are. Right now, keep this
in mind. Choose action over excuse, purpose over comfort, and

(01:16:01):
the work that matters over the distractions that don't. My
name is Jimmy Bezalees and this was the Reset Yourself
twenty two podcasts. Thank you so much for listening, for liking,
for subscribing, and especially sharing with friends and family and whomever.
It means a lot to me, many many blessings to

(01:16:23):
you all.

Speaker 1 (01:16:24):
Be well and prosper.

Speaker 3 (01:16:50):
Today's show was brought to you by Neela Hypnosis and
Healing and the Mind side Meditation and dedicated.

Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
To all those and get them every day and hustle
to all.

Speaker 2 (01:16:57):
They can to make a difference in their lives and
the lives of others.

Speaker 3 (01:17:01):
If you are interested in learning more about the services
that Jimmy offers, visit www dot n E M a
h dot com. Jimmy offers a downloadable ebook and a
link to his Mind's Eye meditation sessions, which are both
offered for free. Please consider it a gift. And for
those that like the do it yourself approach, Jimmy also

(01:17:22):
offers pre recorded self hypnosis sessions. If you prefer the
one on one approach, feel free to reach out. You
have been listening to the Reset Yourself twenty two podcast