April 14, 2025 • 69 mins
This Evolution will be televised! Hello! My name is Jimmy Gonzalez and I am a Hypnotherapist, Energy Healer, Past Life Regressionist, Sound Healer, Mindset Coach, and a wonderful listener! WHY? Well, because I love people! I love story telling but I really enjoy listening to YOU! Not just about what is wrong with YOU but primarily what is right with YOU! These are the things that make us amazing, and these are the stories we should focus on! I started this show to inspire YOU! To make YOU think and to remind YOU that YOU are pretty BAD ASS! Well, YOU are! I produce, record all of my shows and I hope YOU like my show! If YOU do, please let me know what YOU think! If you don’t like my show! Please let me know! I love criticism!!! It is how I learn to better myself. :) If you do like my podcast I came across this service as a way for people to show their appreciation for my time. It is called Buy me a coffee! It is just as it sounds. If you would like to show thanks by listening to my podcast, I ask that you buy me a COFFEE! The link will take you to a site where you can do just that. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/noemahh Thank you for your support and please share my mission of inspiring you! If you would like to listen to my meditations, please visit: Mind’s Eye Meditations / @mindseyemeditation Subliminal Sessions • Subliminal Sessions Check out my first book! (Kindle version) Paperback is in the works for later this summer. You can download it right it now for under $5!!!! "The Reset Yourself Workbook"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Please note this show contains adult language and themes and
is intended for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Day beloved, we have gathered here today to get through
this thing called life.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
You are listening to The Reset Yourself Wanting to You podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Your hosts Jimmy Dunsel, Hello, Hello, Hello, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
As she said, welcome to The Reset Yourself twenty two podcasts,
one hundred and seventy one. In this weekly podcast, I
focus on sparking your inner confidence, our inner confidence, and
igniting our belief in ourselves. I'm your host, and I
am always extremely thrilled to share my thoughts and research
(01:38):
with you. With us as we go along on this journey. Together,
we can nurture a mindset that empowers us to reach
our fullest potential. I write and record every episode weekly
to challenge our thinking and to encourage us to reflect
and inspire actionable, real lifeistic steps towards personal growth. Whether
(02:02):
you're facing a career transition, seeking to overcome challenges, or
simply striving for greater fulfillment in life, this podcast has
been the go to resource for quite a few people.
I'm talking about like a few thousand people around the world,
(02:23):
which is just inspirational, and for that I thank you.
Tell me what you want and I will show you
how to get it. The question is are you willing
to do the work? For those of you that have
asked in the past about the purring, this is my
co producer, and yes, you will hear him a lot
(02:51):
during my meditation. Here you don't notice as much because
I'm constantly talking, but during my meditations you will hear him,
at least in the beginning of the meditation's purring usually
is so I've actually had people say it's very relaxing,
which it is to me. So yesterday I was blessed
to journey around the sun once again, as this will
(03:14):
be my fifty fifth time around the sun, and I
look forward to hopefully another fifty five. And I am
blessed for every single year, every single month, every single week,
every single day. I've always been very adventurous. I've never
been afraid to try new things, but there have been
(03:37):
things in my life that have kept me from the
possibilities of wanting to venture and experience life to the fullest. Suddenly,
most of us have been faced by fears of the unknown, which,
if you really look into it, most of our fears
(03:59):
because of a lack of knowledge to learn more about
the things that keep us fearful and not willing to
try things, and they keep us from truly experiencing life
to the fullest. Sadly, most of these fears are putting
what haven't put into our minds from the oddest places
(04:21):
and weird people. I have brought this one up another
early podcast before because I can't help but find it
quite silly. But the movie Jaws kept me from enjoying
swimming pools. Yes, swimming pools, of course, and you know,
oceans and rivers and ponds and lakes and even puddles,
(04:46):
you know, seeing that fin in the top of a
puddle scary because I allowed fear to grow and infest
my psyche without being rational and thinking about it. And
the funny thing is, so many of you we'll think
about that, And the reason I mention it is like
a fin or a shark in a puddle or a shower,
And you're like that, that's ridiculous, Jimmy, right, But how
(05:09):
many of your fears are even more ridiculous or as ridiculous?
When you really break them down because they're yours. You're like,
but these are real, but are they think about it?
Most fears are based on nothing. There really are. There's
no fact to them. And most times when I ask
(05:30):
people why they have certain fears, they came and answered me.
So basically, you're going through fear, which fear. Having that
sense in your body is actually not good for your
body fear because fear I've talked about in the past.
You know, it's either a fight or flight. So it's like,
(05:50):
when something fearful happens, you either fight it or you
run away. But in today's world, none of us are
really running away from mammoth elephants or sabers with tigers.
So instead we just sit there on our couch in
fear and we let it infest, and actually it does.
It starts to affect your health. It affects you in
(06:12):
so many different ways. So at least if you ran
from it, that's a good thing because you're letting it go,
or if you faced it, that's obviously even better. But
by doing nothing and just letting it simmer right there
and just being fearful of nothing is actually not good
for you at all. How did I get rid of
(06:34):
the Shark of Fear? Surprisingly many many years ago? Wow,
I must have been fourteen thirteen fourteen, I was invited
to a family function at Key West where an entire
(06:56):
group of family and friends from New Jersey, including my godparents,
went down to Key West and they rented a hotel,
actually rented a hotel in Miami. But then they had
a barbecue. Oddly, you know how Key West is many
islands and there's bridges, long bridges that connect somewhere shorter
(07:16):
than others. But so basically what my family did was they,
I guess you can't rent it, but it must be
a place where people go. And they set up a
barbecue with about one hundred people underneath a bridge over
to this, you know, to the side obviously not in
the water, but to the side where the road goes
(07:36):
like this, you know where am I okay? Like this
into the water underneath the bridge and up here I
guess it was lew because there was fifty people, so
it was like so many cars parked on both sides,
and then basically you just walked down around and then
underneath this huge highway bridge they had a gigantic barbecue
and they had a pig, and you know, the whole
(07:58):
thing was a Cuban get together, so you could have met.
But of course I get there and there's about you know,
one hundred kids and they are all snorkeling. So I
basically sat at the edge of the water because I
am terrified of the water because of you know, jaws,
and kids half of my age were putting on their
(08:23):
little snorkel masks in their fins and just swimming, and
I knew at some point it's like, I'm going to
be a grown man. I'm going to be afraid of
something that is non existent, you know, sharks to exist,
but what are my chances of actually actually ever being
in the water with a shark? So I would have
to admit there might have been a little bit of
(08:44):
pure pressure, but it was also a sense of adventure
of like this is it, this is my chance because
what I saw was beautiful. It was this like see
through water and the other side, I mean between this
side of the bridge and the other side, there was
(09:04):
about four pylons just give an idea of the distance.
So my thing was what's wrong with just putting it
on and swimming like right there with like one hand
on the cement, so I put the mask on, I
put the snorkel on, and I just basically like dove
in a little bit, and immediately you can see down
(09:26):
hundreds of feet. And the cool thing is like the
road went like this underwater, so I was able to
like walk it without having to swim it. And I
went down quite a bit to the part that it ends,
and by that time I basically was hypnotized by sea life,
(09:48):
by the amount of colorful fish that I've never seen
and never see again except in pictures. And I swam
out and I was just so taken by the sea
life and by everything that I had seen and enjoyed
and the beauty, and sadly, you know, it's funny. Out
(10:10):
of all those things, what I will remember is getting
down to a point like practicing how to go down
and then get back up and spit the water out,
you know, without coming out of the water, and then
go back down again. And I got to the bottom,
and first off, I was very proud that I did that,
because I had never considered myself a great swimmer. And secondly,
(10:33):
what traumatized me was there was a fish, a very
colorful I want to say, tigerfish, but it wasn't. But
it was a very tight a beautiful striped fish with
a harpoon needle stuck through it, and it was down
(10:54):
just sitting at the bottom of the water. And at
that moment, sadly, I didn't see the ocean as a
place of danger and fear. I saw it as a
place that I feel horrible for fish too, like they're
also victims of what we do. And I've always thought
that for some reason I had to venture out and
(11:15):
see sea life in a different perspective that we too,
even sharks, we we hunt, we fish a little bit
too much. Everything we do is always a little bit
too much. And surprisingly, your question will probably be did
(11:35):
you see sharks? Yes? I did. I got out to
the second pylon, and you know, I was surrounded by
maybe four or five kids also, and one of them
just kind of like was pointing, and I mean we're
talking about like you can see down at an angle
for so many feet and way out in the distance,
(11:56):
I could see two sand sharks. I only know this
because I looked them up later at the bottom, just
with other little fish around their tops, just swimming by.
They weren't great whites or killers or anything. They're just
sand sharks, just going by probably the length of my body.
But again, I wasn't in a position of sitting in
(12:17):
a movie chair in a theater in fear with music
and the drama playing in the background. It was the
beauty of the ocean, and truly I was able to
face that fear that it was created by a movie.
And it's a shame because for many years after that, I,
(12:40):
you know, there was times my aunt lived in Miami
Beach and she, you know, everybody would go and party
in the ocean, and for years I just wouldn't go
in because I was terrified of stupidity. And years later
I found myself being able to challenge myself quite a
few more times of going into the ocean and not
(13:01):
being afraid of the possibility of being attacked by a shark.
It's almost like being attacked by a lot of things
around us because of the what if, which is just
a shame to to to live those fears I allow.
(13:21):
I allowed fear to grow in my psyche, and now
I can look back and see that it was silly,
and that most of our fears are very, very silly,
and as we grow older, you become wiser, and you're
able to realize that you're not wasting your time with
just stupid fears, but instead you should be experiencing life
(13:43):
and laughing and loving and trying new things, instead of
stopping ourselves from trying these things, from venturing out into
the world to even something as simple as trying new foods,
based on a mindset of being just stunted, of holding back,
of simply saying I don't like this, or I don't
like that, or I don't want to do this, or
I don't want to do that, and then somebody says
to you why. Your answer is, well, I don't know.
(14:06):
That's a shame. It's like, you know, I've met people
that have never traveled, never tried, never tasted, and never
experienced and they don't know why instead of understanding that,
you know, there's a higher being that gave you the
gift of life and is watching over us, and at
(14:30):
least I like to believe so, and wants us to
venture out, wants us to live our life to the fullest,
wants us to enjoy every single gift that has been
given to us, and to be filled with gratitude for
the many gifts that we have or are being offered
every single day of our lives. But instead, like I said,
(14:53):
we choose to live with fear, which realistically what is fear.
Fear is based on ignorance most of the time. I mean,
fear of water actually went from a fear of a shark.
Now I can look back and say, my fear was
of the unknown. Just what could happen not being in control,
as if I'm such an underwater deep sea fishermen or something.
(15:18):
It's just what are the chances. It's like being afraid
of Bigfoot and never ever traveling up to the northern woods.
That's pointless. But you surpass your fears and you know
once you do, you can't help but look back at
the time wasted and you feel silly for how ridiculous
(15:38):
these fears are that we create in our minds that
as I said, aren't valid, but that keep us from
living our life to the fullest. Instead of being fearful,
you should be prepared. Being prepared is what gives you strength.
What gives you strength grounds you. What grounds you gives
you the ability to face your fears. Instead of just saying, well,
(16:01):
I'm fearful of something. It's like, okay, so what are
you doing to deal with it instead of just continuing
to be fearful for the rest of your life. As
a hypnotherapist, I've actually worked with quite a few clients
that had fears or things that weren't based on fear,
but turns out that they were being able to talk
(16:23):
through it, breaking it down and allowing them to see
how most of these fears are silly. Most of them
felt empowered after our conversation without even being hypnotized. I've
always said, if we truly understand the power we had
with our mindset, we could accomplish anything with their thoughts.
(16:44):
Think about that, all the strength and power that you
put towards these stupid fears and these insecurities and anger
and this and that, if you were to put it
towards being an entrepreneur, being a driven worker, of being
a creator of something new, a business, an invention, going
(17:08):
back to school, you know, getting a degree, getting diploma,
starting a new career, just starting a new like I said,
becoming self employed, doing your own thing. It's like, instead
of using this power for evil, for stupidity, for bad
and you use it to build yourself up. To give
(17:29):
you all of the things that you want, all of
the accomplishments that you can gain by simply saying I
want this and I'm going to work it, we would
all be amazing. I mean, think about it. There are
people that are doing it every day. Why. Because they
set their mindset towards knowing what they want to do
and what they can do and what they can't do.
(17:50):
They learn it. They don't just walk around and say,
well I can't. It's like can you cook dinner? Or
I don't know how to? That doesn't make sense, Like
there's the internet. Are you walking around with your phone
in your pocket? If you have a phone in your pocket,
you can cook anything. If you have a phone in
(18:10):
your pocket, you can regut or gut your bathroom as
I did, or your kitchen as I did. I have
fixed so many things on my car because I just
googled it and I watched a few videos, and I
went to the auto place and I bought the parts
and I did it myself. In this house alone. I've
(18:31):
done quite a few things that before I got here,
I probably couldn't have done. But I found the information,
I created the knowledge, and I did it. And the
good thing is that once you get used to living
like that, you start building confidence and it gets to
the point that the fears become a non existent They actually,
(18:54):
as I said, they just become silly now, simply simply
by changing your mindset and how you view your thoughts,
your beliefs, and how you begin to appreciate and have
gratitude for everything, and I mean everything that your Maker
has given you. I can't say it with full confidence,
(19:14):
but not so long ago, quite a few things lined
up for me in a way that I truly saw
how blessed I was. Many people will say it but
then still go back to the negative and the fearful. No,
I meant it like things lined up to me for me.
They have my entire life in the weirdest ways, and
for that I say thank you constantly. So many things
(19:36):
have lined up for me, But in the past two
years it's been getting crazier and crazier, the blessings and
the things that have lined up for me in ways that,
as you may wonder, when a few things don't, it's
you don't even see it because there's just so much good,
(19:57):
so many blessings line up that when I do stumble.
When I do fall, I'm so looking forward to the
next gift that I just get up quickly and just
keep going because I'm blessed. And it's not worth sitting
there now and going on Facebook and oh my god,
and this happened and that happened. It's like, no, the
past ten things that happened were amazing. Just because the
(20:18):
eleventh thing wasn't that great, I don't focus on it.
I keep focusing on the power of the ten things.
And again, it's all mindset, but I allow my curiosity
to want to live my life, to learn about new things,
to study new things, to figure out how people that
(20:41):
I admire, people that I look up to, how they tick.
Instead of allowing them to be taken down, they continue
to fight a good fight. And this keeps me from
just shivering in fear of every single noise and bump
in the night over some of the most ridiculous things.
(21:03):
Like I said, life is just it's too amazing. And
because of this mindset, I find myself no longer stressing,
And you're like, really, yes, I no longer stress, I
no longer feel anxious, And what hasn't happened yet? Or
I mean I just don't stress over time, I don't
worry over the past. I just give myself to this
(21:27):
true life and I enjoy it fully and as I
always say, the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
When things seem to not be working out, my first
reaction is how am I going to fix it? How
am I going to get through it?
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Not?
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Oh, no, bad thing. It's like, that's stupid. It's like,
if you're like ten years old, I understand that. But
if you're a grown adult and something you know is
going to happen, that isn't great. By now, I think
you kind of know that it's going to work out
and that you just need to figure it out. I mean, again,
the only thing you can't work out is death. Death
(22:02):
is death is death. But besides death, you have life,
and with life, you live it and you learn how
to enjoy it. And because of this, you learn to
really enjoy every single moment fully. I stop taking things
for granted. I have been living here in Kentucky now
(22:22):
for eight months and I'm the owner of a farm.
I'm surrounded by horses, chickens, pigeons, cows, and what I
must say are the most amazing down to earth people
really that have the most amazing views of life that
I have experienced. There's no rat race here. It's just
(22:43):
a slow walk through life, really taking the time to
just enjoy the moment and to just be think about that,
just being I look back now at the many things
throughout my youth, especially that I worried about, that I
stressed about, that I lost sleep over. It's so funny
(23:06):
because now I can look back and go, how stupid.
I look back and laugh at how silly I was
to waste a minute of my time on sleep around
worrying about anything. Oh my god, my car broke down,
all right, get it fixed. My knee I needed a
knee replacement that was now got three years ago, two
(23:29):
years ago, like and you go on. I have trigger finger,
trigger finger, which this thumb clicks when I when I
when I bend it. So I went and got a brace.
I made a doctor's appointment. They gave me a shot
of steroids they get a few days ago, day before yesterday.
If it works, it works. If it doesn't, I go
(23:50):
for a quick surgery in the office and it'll be fixed.
Why am I gonna sit there? Oh no, Oh my god,
that's not good for your body. And again you choose
to feel like this it's not something you can control it.
You can just say it's it's a surgery like I've had.
(24:11):
I personally have had many surgeries and I will probably
hopefully not but have a few more. I mean, what
are you supposed to do? You want to live your
life to the fullest. You want to enjoy the moment,
and you want to just as I said, just be
I look back now at the many things throughout my youth, like,
(24:33):
oh god, just so many things as a kid. When
you when you're young, and again that's an excuse. You're
a kid. You don't know when you're an adult. If
you're still walking around in fear, you really need to
sit down and do some soul searching about what you
believe in, who you believe in, what you have faith in,
because by this point you've you've written this rodeo enough
(24:55):
and you should know what's going to happen. And when
you live like this without a fear of the unknown
and not being in control, realizing that you are in control,
you will begin to accept more and more gifts, more
and more abundance, the opportunities will just constantly like they
(25:17):
have with me, they constantly land on my lap. And
this must be because now I'm sure of myself. I'm confident.
I can say with confidence that my fears were based
on not being sure of myself, of who I was,
of what I could accomplish, of my strengths, and having
faith in the system of life. I have faith in life.
(25:42):
I have faith in how things will work out and
how they have worked out. I don't lose sleepover anything anymore.
It's just not worth it. Today. As I said, it's
my fifty fifth birthday. That's fifty five times around the sun.
And at this point in my life, I enjoy it
(26:03):
too much. I enjoyed way too much to be continuing
to focus on what he said and she said, and
what they said, and what she believes and what they believe,
and what I could have done, should have done, would
have done. It's like, as I said, it gets to
the point that you look back and you go, Wow,
that's just a stupid way of thinking. And it's a
(26:26):
waste of time, think of it. That's time that you're
wasting with stupid thoughts instead of focusing on happiness and
confidence and and and joy and love and gratitude, life
starts to get exciting. I like to think of each
(26:46):
year that I am alive like writing a roller coaster.
As you know roller coasters, they usually start off kind
of exciting, going up to that hill, the first big hill,
and then you have the first drop, full adrenaline, and
then before you know it, you're going back up. Been
down and up, been down. But now many times? How
(27:08):
many times it will take you to understand the idea
of Yes, our lives are filled with ups and downs.
Not many of us have lives that are just filled
with a roller coaster that just goes down and down
again and just continues to go downhill. No, they always
go back up because you need to build a momentum
to get through the entire ride. Think about it, same
(27:30):
thing as with our lives. You need the momentum of happiness,
of joy, of excitement to get us through the next hump.
And there's always enough. There always is enough. It may
not be as big as the first one, but that
is when you learn to appreciate even the smallest of rise,
the tiniest of moments of gifts, whether it's waking up
(27:54):
and I mean I've said that to many people that
have questioned the concept of waking up as a gift
because it is something that we just continue to do,
so we start to take it for granted. Sadly. One
thing I guarantee you ready, without knowing most of you,
is that one day you won't One day you will
(28:19):
not wake up. I'm sure of it, as I know
one day I will not wake up. I know it,
and I'm totally okay with it. Why because I'm not
focusing on the end. I'm focusing on the journey there.
So far, the journey there has been exciting, so exciting
(28:40):
for me. So for now all I do is not
waste my time on stupidity of fear, and instead instead
I just enjoy on the moment of this moment. I
face life with curiosity, with interest, with such a passion
(29:04):
to live it to the fullest, to try it all,
to do it all, to live love, laugh and laugh
and laugh and laugh. And I kind of always knew
owning a farm would be amazing. My entire life has
been surrounded by sharing most of it with animals, and
now I really do live among a lot of animals
more than people, and I am loving every single moment
(29:28):
of it. I am so often filled with such a
sense of love deep inside my chest when I feel
the unconditional love from the animals that surrounds me. And
of course it is with great passion, with great love
that I am filled with even more gratitude from the
people around me. Let us together dive into the concept
of fear of the unknown and understanding and overcoming this fear.
(29:53):
Fear is a natural, universal emotion, an instinct that has
helped our species through vibe threats and I mean actual
threats for thousands of years. But one of the most
persistent and powerful types of fears isn't about something that
we can see, touch, or even define. It is fear
(30:14):
of the unknown. Ever sit watching a horror movie and
the music is playing and they're looking down a hallway.
Nothing has happened. You're terrified in your chair, but nothing
has happened, and the music is getting louder and nothing
has happened. Movies are predictable. That's why I don't really
(30:38):
care for horror movies. I think they're silly. But in life,
most of the time nothing happens. You wake up the
next day and the sun comes out, So what was
that waste? Of time about sitting there, terrified of the
possibility of what if? And the thing is, this school's
(31:00):
on too many things. It's a vague, looming anxiety rooted
not in actual danger, but an uncertainty. What is down
that hallway? Nothing? But still I'm gonna be terrified, which, again,
that type of fear is not good for your body,
whether it's starting a new job, fear of starting a
new job. Don't you want a new job. You're excited
(31:22):
for a new job. But what if I don't like
the new job? Then you leave the new job. What
if I don't make enough money? Then you find another
job that makes more money. You see what I mean?
You start seeing things from a different perspective of how
stupid they are, and how stupid we can be moving
to a different place, a different state, facing an unexpected
(31:44):
life change, or dealing with illness. The discomfort we feel
often stems less from the situation itself and more from
what we don't know. A lot of people are like,
even here, when I told people are moving to Kentucky,
a lot of people are like, well, who do you
know in Kentucky? It's like, why do I have to
know anybody? You know? It's almost like, so you feel
that you need to know someone I don't. I have
(32:07):
traveled quite a bit. I've gone on vacation to more
than one place, and preferably where nobody knows me. That's
kind of like how I would prefer to live my life.
I want to venture and get to know how I
react to the world around me, and try new foods,
new places. During my music career, I was able to travel,
(32:28):
and I stayed in hundreds of hotels and motels and
some really small places and some beautiful, wonderful ones. But
because of this, I've met incredible people, incredible musicians, engineers,
like people, sound people, producers, directors, and of course people
(32:49):
that went to just party. And I was blessed to
meet so many people in what I consider my short
life because at that time I was in my early
thirties and it was a great time. But think about
the irony, this fear that we build on something by
(33:09):
definition that we can't even fully understand. We can't even
confront it. But we're afraid of something, We're not sure
of something with no reason. We're often left anxious, not
because of something is wrong, but because we simply just
don't know fear of the unknown, what will happen next?
And then nothing happens, and then we're good until the
(33:32):
same thing happens again. Then we're fearful again. And in
this podcast, I want to talk to you about this
nature of the fear of the unknown and examine why
it affects us so deeply and offers several I want
to give you a few ideas of what you can
do to help if you're willing to do the work.
If you're not willing to do the work, then can
(33:53):
basically continue to make yourself sick and cheat yourself of
a great life. The unknown has always captivated and frightened us.
Ancient civilizations created myths to explain the unexplainable, Why the
sun rises, why what lies beyond the stars, or what
(34:14):
happens after death. These stories, while often based in our imagination,
give structure to a usually filled, chaotic, filled world in
a way that well, there were early tools for managing
the fear of the unknown. Today, we live in a
(34:35):
world saturated with information, yet uncertainties can still haunt us.
The unknown takes different forms now, Unpredictable global events, the
future of technology, health crisis, personal turning points, every three
months there is a new group of people saying that
the world is going to end tomorrow and that Jesus
is coming back this Saturday. And what I find fascinating
(34:59):
is how as a human race we forget things so quickly.
It doesn't matter what it is. It could be the
most tragic things in the world. Nine to eleven was
a horrible thing. But I always say something that I
remember walking out the next morning, let's not say nine
to eleven, nine thirteen, nine fourteen, and on our street.
(35:22):
I don't know how it happened, but people made the
time to go out and find a flag and a
pole and a little connection and screw it onto the
next to their door. It was amazing. It seemed that
every house in Bridgeport had a flag, and I thought
it was amazing. It was amazing. And then for some
(35:44):
reason people didn't want to be a part of the country,
and those flags started falling off, disappearing, tearing, flying away,
and before you know it, my house was the only
house on that street with a flag. Nothing has changed
for me. I was still given the gift of birth
by my parents who came to this country for freedom,
(36:06):
and I will always be proud of that I will
always be. Actually, that's one thing I want to get
for this house is I want to get a flagpole
and put up a flag because I'm proud. I'm proud
and grateful. And a lot of people will be like, yeah,
but you know, and yeah, but you've never traveled to
other countries. You don't know what it's like to be
in other third world countries. So even with the bullshit
(36:30):
that's happening here, you have no idea how blessed you
really are. I don't know. It's like the unknown takes
different forms. It becomes unpredictable of what's happening, you know,
as I said, with global events, with the future, the
possibility of what's happening with technology Elon Musk cars. People
(36:54):
love the cars. Now they're burning the cars. Now I
see the cars again. Now they're burning the car. It's
I don't know, but the emotional reaction is the same.
It triggers worry, stress, hesitation, and often paralysis. People watch
the news for fear, and the sad thing is people
want fear. They may not want it, but think about it.
Fender benders people on the highway. They will pull over
(37:16):
and come to almost a complete stop to be able
to look over and see if somebody is dead on
the highway. Weather people talk about fake news, right, it exists,
Please don't deny that. But little did you know there's
a thing called fake weather. You're like, why, yes, because
the news knows that people are not going to watch
(37:38):
the news and when everything is great. So I know
of people that were in Connecticut when the storms a
few weeks ago, a week ago, two weeks ago were
happening here, and so I'm able to witness it firsthand,
and based on the news up North Kentucky was completely
the whole state was underwater. There was fires, tornadoes, there
(38:01):
was the wrath of God that the Four Horsemen were
and I'm like, there was rain and there was flooding
and it never happens as much. I'm getting blamed for
a lot of it here because people are saying my
neighbors are saying I brought this stuff, But realistically it's
it wasn't that bad. The issue was there there was death,
(38:22):
so because of that, which was traumatic, and of course
I pray for that person. A few people, but the
bottom line is in Tennessee and in Mississippi and Georgia
and like those southern states, that's where the storm went.
And for some reason, it was just let's just focus
on Kentucky. Whereas I walk out my front door and
(38:43):
it's it's drizzling, there's no tornadoes, there's no end of
the world, there's no Wrath of Khan, there's nothing. It
was very exaggerated. And that's when now I got to
learn firsthand that even the weather they would rather make
up these crazy storms and things because people fear. They
(39:04):
feed on your fear. When you're fearful, you're stuck, you're
glued to watch it. It's paralysis, which is fascinating to me.
If it's just like, oh, yeah, it's gonna beautiful day
and the sun is out and it's said, oh okay,
next channel. But from a psychological perspective, fear of the
unknown is closely tied to our brain's desire for control.
(39:27):
The brain is a prediction machine, constantly trying to anticipate
what will happen next. When it really can't, it goes
on high alert, flooding us with stress hormones, cortisol, adrenaline.
All his emotions. Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear. That look,
as I said, looking down the hallway at whatever's down there,
(39:51):
and usually it's nothing. What could possibly be lurking in
the tall grass or making the noise in the back
of the barn. I just turn on a flashlight and
walk over to the back of the barn. Caution, Yes,
can save your life, but if you never find out
what happened, you're always out of lack of what if,
(40:13):
what could have? And that's when even the best of
opportunities get lost in our lives because we never check,
we never try. We just get filled with fear and
run away. And that's not funny. It's kind of a
waste of life. But in modern life, the same mechanism
that leads to chronic anxiety over situations that aren't actually
(40:35):
even dangerous. Why the unknown is so scary? Oh? Why
is it? Why was that Shark movie so scary? I
mean watching it now, I look back at you know,
I actually saw the shark that was in the movie
where one of the sharks. I went to the amusement park.
(40:55):
I always forget the name, not Disney, the other one
Universal Studios. As I said, I mentioned this in a
few podcasts ago. I was at the back in the
future three D ride, and across the way was the
shark hang, and also in the water was the fake shark,
and I remember we ended up. The second time, I
went getting in that boat ride without thinking like, oh
(41:19):
my god, what if it kills me. It's it's it's
a ride, And the boat went right up to the
shark and I looked. I mean, of course, I rode
right in front, and I looked at the shark and
there was nothing. It was like, wow, it's a robot
and it actually looks really shitty. It's falling apart. And
(41:39):
then again what I felt was real silly, because I
was like, wow, all those opportunities and times that I
could have enjoyed myself in the water with people, but
instead I just I let stupidity take control. But I mean,
one of the main reasons why the unknown is so
frightened is that it threatens our sense of control. We
(42:03):
want to control of everything, So the fear of the
possibility of a storm or a tornado or you know,
losing control. You know, we don't like that. We like
our lives to be predictable. We like our lives to
be planned. That's why more people that like their lives
planned heavily are more fearful because the minute anything happens,
(42:27):
they flip out instead of just saying I'm going to
enjoy my life and live my life and breathe my
life and be thankful to my maker, my God, the
universe for giving me all of these gifts and not
cheated by wasting it. So I mean, instead of planning
and scheduling and structuring our lives to avoid surprises, you
(42:48):
allow them. Because life is filled with surprises, and when
a situation doesn't fit exactly into our expected framework, it
makes many of us feel helpless. But I mean, the
less we know, the more we tend to fill in
those blanks, often with but what if the worst case scenarios,
(43:08):
instead of saying, well, what do I have to do
to resolve the problem, to prepare, to secure myself, to
make myself safe? Because what you're doing if you're a
control freak, fine, be a control freak, take back control.
If you know a situation is going to happen, you
take control, full control. It's the less we know, the
(43:31):
more we tend to, like I said, fill in those blanks.
What if I fail? What if something bad happens? What
if I can't handle it well. What you're basically saying
is that you don't trust in yourself. If you can't
prepare and live without fears because you don't trust yourself,
you doubt yourself. Obviously, I hate to say this, but
then you're really not as strong as you think you are.
(43:53):
You really don't have your shit together. A person who
has your shit together and has a confidence and as
strong is prepared one hundred, not ninety eight, not ninety seven,
not ninety nine. A situation is about to happen. How
am I prepared? Do I have flashlights? Do I have
the things that I need to get through this? Instead
of just talking about and saying, well, I need to
(44:14):
do this and I need to do that. The funny
thing is, when we first moved down here, speaking of tornadoes,
it took me a while to realize why people down
here don't fear them. It's weird. They don't even talk
about them. And here I am like, oh my god,
you know, fear for fear, and everybody's like yeah, But
I mean most people in this neighborhood have never even
(44:35):
seen one, which is interesting, it's fascinating to me. But
their mentality is like, well, if there's a tornado, you
just go down to your storm shelter. If there's a tornado,
you go into your basement. If there's a tornado, you
you they It's not like it's a surprise here. It's
not surprise anymore. That doesn't really exist. The news knows.
I follow Ryan y'all on YouTube, which I recommend him
(44:58):
for the best of news. He is unlike any other newscaster.
He has groups of stormchasers, and it's like they actually
pinpoint exactly when tornadoes are happening in what towns, and
they let people know in those towns, Hey time to
batten down the hatches, time to go into the basements,
time to leave the area. And you just do why
(45:20):
because he always says, don't live in fear, be prepared,
And I mean, but again, it's amazing what we can
create with our minds. This fear. I'll give you a
great one. In nineteen ninety I went to school for
musical engineering, and I remember being surrounded the first day
(45:40):
in school by an extremely incredible class of students from
around the country. They were very motivated and driven, and
all I can think of is if I deserve to
be in that classroom All of them had extensive experience
already in their lives on some many different levels that
(46:01):
I felt most of them didn't even need to be
in school. And all I can think of is that
I deserve to be here. My background at the time
was I had a really good ear for music, and
I had been djaying since I was thirteen, from small
birthday parties to large parties to even some clubs. And
(46:25):
once I was up there and on stage, and those
sets began. When I started playing for these parties, whether
it was a birthday party, a wedding, or like an
actual dance, I was filled with such confidence, such control
of the room. But yet yet this group of students
(46:46):
in this classroom all had so many different levels of
training that I felt that there was no way that
I can fit in with this group of kids. And
in fact, I believe, and it took years to figure
this out, that I my stress, my fear, I created
(47:07):
a tumor that was underneath my right shoulder right here.
Actually you could still see a little bit of the scar.
This car actually went up to here here and it
went down up and around to hear they had to
open all of this up. It's amazing with stress and
(47:30):
fear causes it causes sickness. Well, it grew incredibly fast
to the size of a baseball, a little bit bigger
than a baseball, and after attending school for only not
even six months, I had to have it operated on
and have it removed, and I was blessed to find
out that it wasn't cancerous. But the decision was pretty
(47:57):
deep because the tumor was in my and they had
to go underneath my armpit as I showed you all
the way up and down and disconnect tendons muscles, cut
into that bone and put a plate on it, and
(48:17):
of course what would happened was guess yes, I had
to leave school and once the operation was done, I
had to go through physical therapy and I had to wait,
why because I have to wait for the next semester
to start. So surprisingly with by the time I was
comfortable and the doctor felt that I was safe to
(48:38):
basically travel in subways and everything and not be pushed
because my bone could be broken very easily. Again, took
a whole year. I remember being so detached, so depressed
that I felt that I wasn't appreciative and grateful of
that first classroom the first time, the first group that
I attended with because I was feeled with year of
(49:00):
not being able to fit in. So, of course, once
the doctors cleared me to go back to school this time,
this time, my attitude was very different. I was so
incredibly motivated and ready to take on anything. I loved
every single moment of every single day. I loved the
train ride there, the train ride home, the walk to
(49:22):
the school. Oh my god, lunches at the buffets I would.
My school was next to FT, which is the fashionist
sort of technology, so I had my lunch there surrounded
by amazing people listening to their dreams, their goals. I
became a shinting student. I loved my classes. I loved
my teachers. My teachers were actually like producers, musicians, directors
(49:43):
for famous people. It was a great time and because
of that, I had a very lengthy music career that
I was able to record, produce some amazing people and
inspire them to follow their dreams. And best of all,
I got to work in some incredible studios. I made
so many people dance. I made so many people let
(50:04):
to go of their daily worries and stresses and savor
the rhythm of life. I had to let go of fear,
that failure of judgment. But here's a thought. There are
those of us that continue to think that we are
just born broken. Where do some of these fears come from?
(50:27):
Some of them, we have no reason to connect them
with anything. I was afraid of Jaws because of a
stupid movie. But that's stupid. But here's a good one.
I have had a fear of spiders, yet not like
I lived among them. I was never a cave dweller
or lived under trees. I mean, yet never having dealt
(50:49):
with any in my life to have such a fear
of them. And now I live on a farm where
there are many, and I have been able to understand
what they do, why they do it, how important they are,
and the respect that I have for them. The funny
thing is we have wolf spiders. We have many different
(51:10):
types of spiders here, and it's funny to bring it
up to the neighboring farmers, the Amish Tikxhamish, and they
are very simple in saying, no, you don't kill this spider,
because the wolf spider kills the recluse spider, and the
recluse spider we up North are terrified of them because
they devour your arm and they do this stuff. And
(51:31):
these people are like, they really don't do anything. They
don't bite. I mean, if they finally do bite you,
you can get an infection and it can be bad.
But the chances of one chasing you down the hallway
and grabbing you is not happening. That's why you want
to keep the wolf spiders, because wolf spiders kill them.
And then you have the cave crickets, and the cave
crickets kill them. And I'm sitting there listening to them
talk as if it's just a part of their life,
(51:55):
no fear, because think of it. They grew up with
it and grew up with it. And in my mind,
I don't know movies, I don't know why I just
created this thing that spiders are larger than the house
and oh my god, and they have more arms than
me and they can divide. And now I go out
to the barn and I've seen a few. The weaver.
(52:16):
There's a weaver spider which creates a web, which is
the most beautiful thing. It's not what you think, like
a regular it's almost like this. It is. I'm not
gonna lie to you, I went to go like destroy
the web and kill the spider, and I've just I
moved him because he was in a doorway that I
needed to go through. So I actually was able to
(52:37):
disconnect everything and put them right on the outside of
the barn, in the corner between a bird feeder and
the wall, and that's where he lives. And because of that,
there's less bugs and bats. People are afraid of bats.
I have rehab bats. We need bats. We need these animals.
They have purpose, We live amongst them. We just have
(52:59):
to respect them. And again, as I'm saying this now,
I can't help but like think to myself, God, that
was stupid, stupid what like? But then you have this
thing called evolutionary wiring, the wiring in our minds. As
(53:20):
mentioned earlier, our brains evolve to keep us safe from threats,
you know, the caveman. We fear our psychological are psychological
rather than the physical. Basically, we fear of things that
we just created in our minds instead of actually things
that you know. I mean, if I ran into a
a hallway and there were hundreds of spiders and I
(53:41):
have to run through them, and oh my god, that's
some scary shit. But you're walking through a hallway and
up in that corner there's a spider up there eating bugs.
He's not like, hey, get out of here, I'm gonna
kill you. It's just it's a spider. Understanding these root
causes can be the first step towards managing your fear again,
(54:02):
doing your homework, studying pictures, videos. Why do these things
happen the way they do? And it's what makes fear
of the unknown uniquely tricky? Is itself reinforcing loop. Instead
of breaking it down, we keep building it up with
more fear. We fear what we don't know, and because
we don't know it, we can directly face it or
(54:24):
resolve it. Unlike those like real concrete fears that you
can touch, such as fear spiders, or heights, the fear
of the unknown lacks a specific object. How do you
get rid of us? The fear of the unknown. It's unknown.
This can make it feel diffused, overwhelming, and sometimes irrational.
In many cases, people don't even recognize that what they're
(54:47):
feeling is fear. They just feel a sense of uneasier dread.
The unknown is a blank canvas that it's up to
you to create and paint with your colors, and the
human brain tends to paint it with dark colors. But
here's where the irony kicks in. Since it is unknown,
it could just as easily lead to something positive. A
(55:11):
new job might be the best career move of your life.
A big life change might bring unexpected joy. But our
minds tend to default to caution first, fear, fear, what if,
oh my god. Recognizing this irony is powerful. It helps
to reframe our thinking. If the unknown is just that
(55:35):
the unknown, then it doesn't automatically deserve our fear. It's unknown.
I'm not going to fear the unknown. It may deserve
our curiosity instead. Exercises for managing fear of the unknown.
Although fear of the unknown is a deeply rooted emotional response,
it can be managed with ready awareness, intention, practice. Here's
(55:58):
some exercises. By the way, reframe, I use the word
reframe in hypnosis. Reframing is something that I use with
many clients. It is a technique where a negative belief
or situation is reinterpreted in a more positive or neutral way,
(56:20):
helping the individual you to change their frame of reference,
moving from a limited belief to a more empowerment empowering one.
We often spiral into anxiety by asking what if something
goes wrong? Instead saying what if and then create of
(56:42):
the many things that can go right, Because if you're
still here and you seem okay from what I can
kind of tell, then things kind of worked out. But
it's funny we think of the wrong the right happens,
and then we're like, all right, onto the next wrong
thing and onto the next wrong thing. Like how many
good things have to happen for you to finally be
(57:03):
like I'm blessed, Like I'm gonna stop wasting my time
with stupidity and fear of the unknown. So instead of
what if I fail, instead of saying what if I
succeed beyond my expectations? If I lose money, what if
I make money? What if I regret this decision? What
if this leads me to personal growth a level that
(57:25):
I've never imagined. Writing out these pairs helps retrain your
brain to see both sides of uncertainty, not just the
worst case scenarios. Instead of trying to eliminate all uncertainty
and impossible task, we're kind of creating a sense of
tolerance for it, and you can start small. Go a
(57:46):
day without planning your schedule to the minute. That's not
a healthy thing to do. To live by the clock constantly.
That leads to a lot of heart conditions, to a
lot of stress and worry because you can't control your time.
And you can think you can, but you can't. So
what ends up happening is when you can't. Because you can't,
(58:07):
then shit starts to catch up to you and things
happen in your life that I know of somebody right
now that's going through something because life changed for them,
and all of a sudden they can't do it. And
it's just if you really, if I tell, if you know,
it's a simple, simple thing, and then life just moves on.
But for a person who has lived like a robot
(58:27):
to a clock and now all of a sudden, the
game has changed, the board pieces were changed, and all
of a sudden, but how do I even play this
game of life? And it's just like you continue playing
as you've been playing all along. Here's some things that
I want you to do. Really, go a day without
(58:47):
planning anything. Put your phone away. I do it often
on purpose. It helps me, It helps me relax. Put
your phone away if somebody needs you, they will find you.
Try eating something without figuring out what it is. It's
very simple. It's not going to kill you. So you
(59:08):
try it, and if you like it, you eat more.
And if you don't, you don't. That's life. If somebody
invites you somewhere, just say yes, just go. Be spontaneous.
It's a wonderful, amazing feeling to be spontaneous. We do
(59:28):
it all the time. Melissa and I will just sit
here and all of a sudden be like, let's just
go there and we go. Let's just go here and
we go. We don't feel the need to be like, well,
we're going to go, and we have to make sure
we're back by you know, four fifteen, and we have
to be able to come back and eat dinner by
four sixteen, and from four sixteen to four nineteen dinners
in and then at four pointy unhealthy, unrealistic, unnatural, And
(59:56):
then what helps tremendously, And as many of you know,
I always talk about medita. Meditation is very simple. Just
go sit somewhere and just be quiet and just let
everything happen. It's one of the by far, by far,
one of the most effective ways to reduce your anxiety,
including fear of the unknown. When you're overwhelmed by uncertainty,
(01:00:18):
your mind is usually focused on something you can control,
a future that you came and see. So mindfulness brings
you back to this present. Sit or stand quietly, breathe deeply.
Name five things in front of you that you can see.
The grass, the trees, the chickens, the house, and the car.
(01:00:40):
Four things that you can walk up to in touch
the grass, the trees, the car, the flowers. Four things
you can hear. I can hear the birds, I can
hear the chickens, I can hear the wind. I can
hear the cars going by in the distance. Two things
that I can smell, grass and flowers. And one thing
(01:01:01):
that I can taste some chocolate. See. You're getting connected
with reality of what you do have control of, that
you have control of. The sensory practice helps anchor you
into your current reality, and it calms your nervous system
instead of what if, what if? Of the unknown, what
(01:01:24):
may happen, what might happen, what could happen? And then
of course what helps for many people is journaling. Write
things down. Because you can write it down, it's almost
like you're taking it out of here and you're putting
it through your hand onto a piece of paper. I'm
leaving it here, I'm leaving here. What is the situation?
What do I know about it? What is the worst
possible outcome? What is the best possible outcome? What is
(01:01:49):
the most realistic outcome? This exercise turns that fog, that
unsureness of anxiety into a more manageable, controllable thought process.
For my control freaks, this is what helps saying that
you're in control and you're just sitting there in fear.
Fear is not being in control. And then of course
(01:02:12):
you want to be prepared and able to welcome change.
That's why a lot of people tell me I don't
like change, which I find fascinating, and I understand it's
not for everybody. But in a world that's always changing,
I mean, like if you live, even if you live
in an island by yourself, the season's changed, the ocean's change,
the sky changes, the clouds are always changing, the sun
(01:02:35):
goes up, the sun comes down, the moon goes I mean,
there's always change. So for you to be so sure
and I want to live in my own little bubble. Hey, look,
at the last podcast Living in a Bubble in small Ways,
take a new route to work, take it, just get on,
get in your car and just go go go that
way and just drive. I mean back in the day,
(01:02:56):
I did it without a map or with a cell phone.
Now we have GPS, right, Honest, it's just funny that
people are like, people are still afraid to. I'm afraid
to what if I get lost? It's impossible.
Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (01:03:09):
First off, the pretty much most of the of the
of the country, let's say the US we visited. So
the chances of you getting lost and like disappearing forever
unless you choose to, it's kind of impossible. So you
drive and you just drive, and you're gonna end up somewhere.
And then when you get there, you take take a
left or take a right, and you just keep going.
(01:03:30):
And if you get to the point that you're feeling
confident enough, you pull over, you go to a gas station,
you be like, Hi, where the fuck am I? And
they'll be like, oh, you just jump on the highway
that's right there, and you go west and you go, okay,
thank you, and then you're home. But you have ventured,
you have seen, you have tried you have, You've you've
gotten to experience life. That's what experiencing life is. Not
just like I'm gonna get in my car. I think
(01:03:52):
I'm not sure maybe what it but you know, I
don't know where anything is. Well, yeah, I know most
of us don't. That's that's called experiencing life. And I
hope you do, and that you make change a regular
part of your life, even in the smallest of ways.
(01:04:12):
Change your morning and routine, learn a new skill, a
new hobby. If you walk this way, walk that way.
If you run this way, run that way, if you
drive this way, drive that way. By voluntarily stepping into
unfamiliar territory, you strengthen your adaptability muscle, which can help
with the bigger, more intimidating unknowns. And of course by
(01:04:35):
doing more, you welcome more opportunity. You live in a bubble.
Not many people are gonna come to your bubble. You
have to go to the world out there. So I
hope you take this episode and really break it down
and understand that it wasn't about the fear of life,
but it was the hunger for life and wanting to
(01:04:56):
experience as much as you can. Before, as I mentioned,
everything ends when you take your last breath, So until then,
experience it all. Flourish, flourish in life. As I said
in the beginning, I am now fifty five years old,
and I do look forward to hopefully another fifty five years.
(01:05:19):
But I no longer live with fear of death. I
live with fear of not living my life to the fullest.
So my perception of life has become I want to
enjoy it all. I want to do it all. I
want to try it all. And the older I get,
the more I want to try, because life is getting shorter.
(01:05:40):
And I want to be grateful for everything, everything that's
around me, everybody who's around me, my circle of friends.
I have quality in friends, not quantity. And of course
the animals, the many animals that share their lives with
me and show me all such an incredible amount of
(01:06:01):
unconditional love. I'm always blessed and surrounded by such love.
I welcome them in. God shows me love unconditionally, and
for all this, I'm extremely grateful. So yes, the free
of the unknown is Yes. It is deeply a human
experience when that touches everyone at some point, but it
(01:06:24):
arises not because we are weak, but because we are
wired for survival in a world that is unpredictable. Yet
the truth is much of what we fear never happens.
The unknown is not inherently bad, It is just explored.
It holdes both risk and possibility. But by understanding yourself,
(01:06:46):
by understanding the psychological roots of this fear and practicing
specific strategies strategies to manage it, we can begin to
shift our mindset. Instead of seeing the un as a threat,
we can learn to see it as a space of potential,
a place where a growth, opportunity, and even joy might
(01:07:09):
be waiting. Facing the unknown doesn't meanly stop being afraid.
It means we move forward anyway, knowing that fear is
a part of the journey, not the whole story. With
every episode that I record, I hope I make you think.
I hope I make you question your existence and to
(01:07:30):
appreciate every single tomorrow, every today, and be grateful for
all of the experiences of your past that have made
you who you are right now. My name is Jimmy
Gonzalez and this was the Reset Yourself twenty two podcast.
(01:07:50):
Thank you so much for listening, for liking, and especially
for sharing with others. It means a lot to me.
Many blessings True, you all be well and prosper.
Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
What a shell was brought to you by gnosis and
(01:08:30):
healing and the mind SiGe meditation and dedicated to all
those that get up every day and hustle and do
all they can to make a difference in their lives
and the lives of others.
Speaker 5 (01:08:40):
If you are interested in learning more about the services
that Jimmy offers, visit www dot n O E M
a h h dot com. Jimmy offers a downloadable ebook
and a link to his mind Zie meditation sessions, which
are both offered for free. Please consider it a gift.
And for those that like the do it your self approach,
(01:09:01):
Jimmy also offers pre recorded self hypnosis sessions. If you
prefer the one on one approach, feel free to reach out.
You have been listening to the Reset Yourself twenty two
podcast
Please note this show contains adult language and themes and
is intended for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Day beloved, we have gathered here today to get through
this thing called life.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
You are listening to The Reset Yourself Wanting to You podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Your hosts Jimmy Dunsel, Hello, Hello, Hello, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
As she said, welcome to The Reset Yourself twenty two podcasts,
one hundred and seventy one. In this weekly podcast, I
focus on sparking your inner confidence, our inner confidence, and
igniting our belief in ourselves. I'm your host, and I
am always extremely thrilled to share my thoughts and research
(01:38):
with you. With us as we go along on this journey. Together,
we can nurture a mindset that empowers us to reach
our fullest potential. I write and record every episode weekly
to challenge our thinking and to encourage us to reflect
and inspire actionable, real lifeistic steps towards personal growth. Whether
(02:02):
you're facing a career transition, seeking to overcome challenges, or
simply striving for greater fulfillment in life, this podcast has
been the go to resource for quite a few people.
I'm talking about like a few thousand people around the world,
(02:23):
which is just inspirational, and for that I thank you.
Tell me what you want and I will show you
how to get it. The question is are you willing
to do the work? For those of you that have
asked in the past about the purring, this is my
co producer, and yes, you will hear him a lot
(02:51):
during my meditation. Here you don't notice as much because
I'm constantly talking, but during my meditations you will hear him,
at least in the beginning of the meditation's purring usually
is so I've actually had people say it's very relaxing,
which it is to me. So yesterday I was blessed
to journey around the sun once again, as this will
(03:14):
be my fifty fifth time around the sun, and I
look forward to hopefully another fifty five. And I am
blessed for every single year, every single month, every single week,
every single day. I've always been very adventurous. I've never
been afraid to try new things, but there have been
(03:37):
things in my life that have kept me from the
possibilities of wanting to venture and experience life to the fullest. Suddenly,
most of us have been faced by fears of the unknown, which,
if you really look into it, most of our fears
(03:59):
because of a lack of knowledge to learn more about
the things that keep us fearful and not willing to
try things, and they keep us from truly experiencing life
to the fullest. Sadly, most of these fears are putting
what haven't put into our minds from the oddest places
(04:21):
and weird people. I have brought this one up another
early podcast before because I can't help but find it
quite silly. But the movie Jaws kept me from enjoying
swimming pools. Yes, swimming pools, of course, and you know,
oceans and rivers and ponds and lakes and even puddles,
(04:46):
you know, seeing that fin in the top of a
puddle scary because I allowed fear to grow and infest
my psyche without being rational and thinking about it. And
the funny thing is, so many of you we'll think
about that, And the reason I mention it is like
a fin or a shark in a puddle or a shower,
And you're like that, that's ridiculous, Jimmy, right, But how
(05:09):
many of your fears are even more ridiculous or as ridiculous?
When you really break them down because they're yours. You're like,
but these are real, but are they think about it?
Most fears are based on nothing. There really are. There's
no fact to them. And most times when I ask
(05:30):
people why they have certain fears, they came and answered me.
So basically, you're going through fear, which fear. Having that
sense in your body is actually not good for your
body fear because fear I've talked about in the past.
You know, it's either a fight or flight. So it's like,
(05:50):
when something fearful happens, you either fight it or you
run away. But in today's world, none of us are
really running away from mammoth elephants or sabers with tigers.
So instead we just sit there on our couch in
fear and we let it infest, and actually it does.
It starts to affect your health. It affects you in
(06:12):
so many different ways. So at least if you ran
from it, that's a good thing because you're letting it go,
or if you faced it, that's obviously even better. But
by doing nothing and just letting it simmer right there
and just being fearful of nothing is actually not good
for you at all. How did I get rid of
(06:34):
the Shark of Fear? Surprisingly many many years ago? Wow,
I must have been fourteen thirteen fourteen, I was invited
to a family function at Key West where an entire
(06:56):
group of family and friends from New Jersey, including my godparents,
went down to Key West and they rented a hotel,
actually rented a hotel in Miami. But then they had
a barbecue. Oddly, you know how Key West is many
islands and there's bridges, long bridges that connect somewhere shorter
(07:16):
than others. But so basically what my family did was they,
I guess you can't rent it, but it must be
a place where people go. And they set up a
barbecue with about one hundred people underneath a bridge over
to this, you know, to the side obviously not in
the water, but to the side where the road goes
(07:36):
like this, you know where am I okay? Like this
into the water underneath the bridge and up here I
guess it was lew because there was fifty people, so
it was like so many cars parked on both sides,
and then basically you just walked down around and then
underneath this huge highway bridge they had a gigantic barbecue
and they had a pig, and you know, the whole
(07:58):
thing was a Cuban get together, so you could have met.
But of course I get there and there's about you know,
one hundred kids and they are all snorkeling. So I
basically sat at the edge of the water because I
am terrified of the water because of you know, jaws,
and kids half of my age were putting on their
(08:23):
little snorkel masks in their fins and just swimming, and
I knew at some point it's like, I'm going to
be a grown man. I'm going to be afraid of
something that is non existent, you know, sharks to exist,
but what are my chances of actually actually ever being
in the water with a shark? So I would have
to admit there might have been a little bit of
(08:44):
pure pressure, but it was also a sense of adventure
of like this is it, this is my chance because
what I saw was beautiful. It was this like see
through water and the other side, I mean between this
side of the bridge and the other side, there was
(09:04):
about four pylons just give an idea of the distance.
So my thing was what's wrong with just putting it
on and swimming like right there with like one hand
on the cement, so I put the mask on, I
put the snorkel on, and I just basically like dove
in a little bit, and immediately you can see down
(09:26):
hundreds of feet. And the cool thing is like the
road went like this underwater, so I was able to
like walk it without having to swim it. And I
went down quite a bit to the part that it ends,
and by that time I basically was hypnotized by sea life,
(09:48):
by the amount of colorful fish that I've never seen
and never see again except in pictures. And I swam
out and I was just so taken by the sea
life and by everything that I had seen and enjoyed
and the beauty, and sadly, you know, it's funny. Out
(10:10):
of all those things, what I will remember is getting
down to a point like practicing how to go down
and then get back up and spit the water out,
you know, without coming out of the water, and then
go back down again. And I got to the bottom,
and first off, I was very proud that I did that,
because I had never considered myself a great swimmer. And secondly,
(10:33):
what traumatized me was there was a fish, a very
colorful I want to say, tigerfish, but it wasn't. But
it was a very tight a beautiful striped fish with
a harpoon needle stuck through it, and it was down
(10:54):
just sitting at the bottom of the water. And at
that moment, sadly, I didn't see the ocean as a
place of danger and fear. I saw it as a
place that I feel horrible for fish too, like they're
also victims of what we do. And I've always thought
that for some reason I had to venture out and
(11:15):
see sea life in a different perspective that we too,
even sharks, we we hunt, we fish a little bit
too much. Everything we do is always a little bit
too much. And surprisingly, your question will probably be did
(11:35):
you see sharks? Yes? I did. I got out to
the second pylon, and you know, I was surrounded by
maybe four or five kids also, and one of them
just kind of like was pointing, and I mean we're
talking about like you can see down at an angle
for so many feet and way out in the distance,
(11:56):
I could see two sand sharks. I only know this
because I looked them up later at the bottom, just
with other little fish around their tops, just swimming by.
They weren't great whites or killers or anything. They're just
sand sharks, just going by probably the length of my body.
But again, I wasn't in a position of sitting in
(12:17):
a movie chair in a theater in fear with music
and the drama playing in the background. It was the
beauty of the ocean, and truly I was able to
face that fear that it was created by a movie.
And it's a shame because for many years after that, I,
(12:40):
you know, there was times my aunt lived in Miami
Beach and she, you know, everybody would go and party
in the ocean, and for years I just wouldn't go
in because I was terrified of stupidity. And years later
I found myself being able to challenge myself quite a
few more times of going into the ocean and not
(13:01):
being afraid of the possibility of being attacked by a shark.
It's almost like being attacked by a lot of things
around us because of the what if, which is just
a shame to to to live those fears I allow.
(13:21):
I allowed fear to grow in my psyche, and now
I can look back and see that it was silly,
and that most of our fears are very, very silly,
and as we grow older, you become wiser, and you're
able to realize that you're not wasting your time with
just stupid fears, but instead you should be experiencing life
(13:43):
and laughing and loving and trying new things, instead of
stopping ourselves from trying these things, from venturing out into
the world to even something as simple as trying new foods,
based on a mindset of being just stunted, of holding back,
of simply saying I don't like this, or I don't
like that, or I don't want to do this, or
I don't want to do that, and then somebody says
to you why. Your answer is, well, I don't know.
(14:06):
That's a shame. It's like, you know, I've met people
that have never traveled, never tried, never tasted, and never
experienced and they don't know why instead of understanding that,
you know, there's a higher being that gave you the
gift of life and is watching over us, and at
(14:30):
least I like to believe so, and wants us to
venture out, wants us to live our life to the fullest,
wants us to enjoy every single gift that has been
given to us, and to be filled with gratitude for
the many gifts that we have or are being offered
every single day of our lives. But instead, like I said,
(14:53):
we choose to live with fear, which realistically what is fear.
Fear is based on ignorance most of the time. I mean,
fear of water actually went from a fear of a shark.
Now I can look back and say, my fear was
of the unknown. Just what could happen not being in control,
as if I'm such an underwater deep sea fishermen or something.
(15:18):
It's just what are the chances. It's like being afraid
of Bigfoot and never ever traveling up to the northern woods.
That's pointless. But you surpass your fears and you know
once you do, you can't help but look back at
the time wasted and you feel silly for how ridiculous
(15:38):
these fears are that we create in our minds that
as I said, aren't valid, but that keep us from
living our life to the fullest. Instead of being fearful,
you should be prepared. Being prepared is what gives you strength.
What gives you strength grounds you. What grounds you gives
you the ability to face your fears. Instead of just saying, well,
(16:01):
I'm fearful of something. It's like, okay, so what are
you doing to deal with it instead of just continuing
to be fearful for the rest of your life. As
a hypnotherapist, I've actually worked with quite a few clients
that had fears or things that weren't based on fear,
but turns out that they were being able to talk
(16:23):
through it, breaking it down and allowing them to see
how most of these fears are silly. Most of them
felt empowered after our conversation without even being hypnotized. I've
always said, if we truly understand the power we had
with our mindset, we could accomplish anything with their thoughts.
(16:44):
Think about that, all the strength and power that you
put towards these stupid fears and these insecurities and anger
and this and that, if you were to put it
towards being an entrepreneur, being a driven worker, of being
a creator of something new, a business, an invention, going
(17:08):
back to school, you know, getting a degree, getting diploma,
starting a new career, just starting a new like I said,
becoming self employed, doing your own thing. It's like, instead
of using this power for evil, for stupidity, for bad
and you use it to build yourself up. To give
(17:29):
you all of the things that you want, all of
the accomplishments that you can gain by simply saying I
want this and I'm going to work it, we would
all be amazing. I mean, think about it. There are
people that are doing it every day. Why. Because they
set their mindset towards knowing what they want to do
and what they can do and what they can't do.
(17:50):
They learn it. They don't just walk around and say,
well I can't. It's like can you cook dinner? Or
I don't know how to? That doesn't make sense, Like
there's the internet. Are you walking around with your phone
in your pocket? If you have a phone in your pocket,
you can cook anything. If you have a phone in
(18:10):
your pocket, you can regut or gut your bathroom as
I did, or your kitchen as I did. I have
fixed so many things on my car because I just
googled it and I watched a few videos, and I
went to the auto place and I bought the parts
and I did it myself. In this house alone. I've
(18:31):
done quite a few things that before I got here,
I probably couldn't have done. But I found the information,
I created the knowledge, and I did it. And the
good thing is that once you get used to living
like that, you start building confidence and it gets to
the point that the fears become a non existent They actually,
(18:54):
as I said, they just become silly now, simply simply
by changing your mindset and how you view your thoughts,
your beliefs, and how you begin to appreciate and have
gratitude for everything, and I mean everything that your Maker
has given you. I can't say it with full confidence,
(19:14):
but not so long ago, quite a few things lined
up for me in a way that I truly saw
how blessed I was. Many people will say it but
then still go back to the negative and the fearful. No,
I meant it like things lined up to me for me.
They have my entire life in the weirdest ways, and
for that I say thank you constantly. So many things
(19:36):
have lined up for me, But in the past two
years it's been getting crazier and crazier, the blessings and
the things that have lined up for me in ways that,
as you may wonder, when a few things don't, it's
you don't even see it because there's just so much good,
(19:57):
so many blessings line up that when I do stumble.
When I do fall, I'm so looking forward to the
next gift that I just get up quickly and just
keep going because I'm blessed. And it's not worth sitting
there now and going on Facebook and oh my god,
and this happened and that happened. It's like, no, the
past ten things that happened were amazing. Just because the
(20:18):
eleventh thing wasn't that great, I don't focus on it.
I keep focusing on the power of the ten things.
And again, it's all mindset, but I allow my curiosity
to want to live my life, to learn about new things,
to study new things, to figure out how people that
(20:41):
I admire, people that I look up to, how they tick.
Instead of allowing them to be taken down, they continue
to fight a good fight. And this keeps me from
just shivering in fear of every single noise and bump
in the night over some of the most ridiculous things.
(21:03):
Like I said, life is just it's too amazing. And
because of this mindset, I find myself no longer stressing,
And you're like, really, yes, I no longer stress, I
no longer feel anxious, And what hasn't happened yet? Or
I mean I just don't stress over time, I don't
worry over the past. I just give myself to this
(21:27):
true life and I enjoy it fully and as I
always say, the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
When things seem to not be working out, my first
reaction is how am I going to fix it? How
am I going to get through it?
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Not?
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Oh, no, bad thing. It's like, that's stupid. It's like,
if you're like ten years old, I understand that. But
if you're a grown adult and something you know is
going to happen, that isn't great. By now, I think
you kind of know that it's going to work out
and that you just need to figure it out. I mean, again,
the only thing you can't work out is death. Death
(22:02):
is death is death. But besides death, you have life,
and with life, you live it and you learn how
to enjoy it. And because of this, you learn to
really enjoy every single moment fully. I stop taking things
for granted. I have been living here in Kentucky now
(22:22):
for eight months and I'm the owner of a farm.
I'm surrounded by horses, chickens, pigeons, cows, and what I
must say are the most amazing down to earth people
really that have the most amazing views of life that
I have experienced. There's no rat race here. It's just
(22:43):
a slow walk through life, really taking the time to
just enjoy the moment and to just be think about that,
just being I look back now at the many things
throughout my youth, especially that I worried about, that I
stressed about, that I lost sleep over. It's so funny
(23:06):
because now I can look back and go, how stupid.
I look back and laugh at how silly I was
to waste a minute of my time on sleep around
worrying about anything. Oh my god, my car broke down,
all right, get it fixed. My knee I needed a
knee replacement that was now got three years ago, two
(23:29):
years ago, like and you go on. I have trigger finger,
trigger finger, which this thumb clicks when I when I
when I bend it. So I went and got a brace.
I made a doctor's appointment. They gave me a shot
of steroids they get a few days ago, day before yesterday.
If it works, it works. If it doesn't, I go
(23:50):
for a quick surgery in the office and it'll be fixed.
Why am I gonna sit there? Oh no, Oh my god,
that's not good for your body. And again you choose
to feel like this it's not something you can control it.
You can just say it's it's a surgery like I've had.
(24:11):
I personally have had many surgeries and I will probably
hopefully not but have a few more. I mean, what
are you supposed to do? You want to live your
life to the fullest. You want to enjoy the moment,
and you want to just as I said, just be
I look back now at the many things throughout my youth, like,
(24:33):
oh god, just so many things as a kid. When
you when you're young, and again that's an excuse. You're
a kid. You don't know when you're an adult. If
you're still walking around in fear, you really need to
sit down and do some soul searching about what you
believe in, who you believe in, what you have faith in,
because by this point you've you've written this rodeo enough
(24:55):
and you should know what's going to happen. And when
you live like this without a fear of the unknown
and not being in control, realizing that you are in control,
you will begin to accept more and more gifts, more
and more abundance, the opportunities will just constantly like they
(25:17):
have with me, they constantly land on my lap. And
this must be because now I'm sure of myself. I'm confident.
I can say with confidence that my fears were based
on not being sure of myself, of who I was,
of what I could accomplish, of my strengths, and having
faith in the system of life. I have faith in life.
(25:42):
I have faith in how things will work out and
how they have worked out. I don't lose sleepover anything anymore.
It's just not worth it. Today. As I said, it's
my fifty fifth birthday. That's fifty five times around the sun.
And at this point in my life, I enjoy it
(26:03):
too much. I enjoyed way too much to be continuing
to focus on what he said and she said, and
what they said, and what she believes and what they believe,
and what I could have done, should have done, would
have done. It's like, as I said, it gets to
the point that you look back and you go, Wow,
that's just a stupid way of thinking. And it's a
(26:26):
waste of time, think of it. That's time that you're
wasting with stupid thoughts instead of focusing on happiness and
confidence and and and joy and love and gratitude, life
starts to get exciting. I like to think of each
(26:46):
year that I am alive like writing a roller coaster.
As you know roller coasters, they usually start off kind
of exciting, going up to that hill, the first big hill,
and then you have the first drop, full adrenaline, and
then before you know it, you're going back up. Been
down and up, been down. But now many times? How
(27:08):
many times it will take you to understand the idea
of Yes, our lives are filled with ups and downs.
Not many of us have lives that are just filled
with a roller coaster that just goes down and down
again and just continues to go downhill. No, they always
go back up because you need to build a momentum
to get through the entire ride. Think about it, same
(27:30):
thing as with our lives. You need the momentum of happiness,
of joy, of excitement to get us through the next hump.
And there's always enough. There always is enough. It may
not be as big as the first one, but that
is when you learn to appreciate even the smallest of rise,
the tiniest of moments of gifts, whether it's waking up
(27:54):
and I mean I've said that to many people that
have questioned the concept of waking up as a gift
because it is something that we just continue to do,
so we start to take it for granted. Sadly. One
thing I guarantee you ready, without knowing most of you,
is that one day you won't One day you will
(28:19):
not wake up. I'm sure of it, as I know
one day I will not wake up. I know it,
and I'm totally okay with it. Why because I'm not
focusing on the end. I'm focusing on the journey there.
So far, the journey there has been exciting, so exciting
(28:40):
for me. So for now all I do is not
waste my time on stupidity of fear, and instead instead
I just enjoy on the moment of this moment. I
face life with curiosity, with interest, with such a passion
(29:04):
to live it to the fullest, to try it all,
to do it all, to live love, laugh and laugh
and laugh and laugh. And I kind of always knew
owning a farm would be amazing. My entire life has
been surrounded by sharing most of it with animals, and
now I really do live among a lot of animals
more than people, and I am loving every single moment
(29:28):
of it. I am so often filled with such a
sense of love deep inside my chest when I feel
the unconditional love from the animals that surrounds me. And
of course it is with great passion, with great love
that I am filled with even more gratitude from the
people around me. Let us together dive into the concept
of fear of the unknown and understanding and overcoming this fear.
(29:53):
Fear is a natural, universal emotion, an instinct that has
helped our species through vibe threats and I mean actual
threats for thousands of years. But one of the most
persistent and powerful types of fears isn't about something that
we can see, touch, or even define. It is fear
(30:14):
of the unknown. Ever sit watching a horror movie and
the music is playing and they're looking down a hallway.
Nothing has happened. You're terrified in your chair, but nothing
has happened, and the music is getting louder and nothing
has happened. Movies are predictable. That's why I don't really
(30:38):
care for horror movies. I think they're silly. But in life,
most of the time nothing happens. You wake up the
next day and the sun comes out, So what was
that waste? Of time about sitting there, terrified of the
possibility of what if? And the thing is, this school's
(31:00):
on too many things. It's a vague, looming anxiety rooted
not in actual danger, but an uncertainty. What is down
that hallway? Nothing? But still I'm gonna be terrified, which, again,
that type of fear is not good for your body,
whether it's starting a new job, fear of starting a
new job. Don't you want a new job. You're excited
(31:22):
for a new job. But what if I don't like
the new job? Then you leave the new job. What
if I don't make enough money? Then you find another
job that makes more money. You see what I mean?
You start seeing things from a different perspective of how
stupid they are, and how stupid we can be moving
to a different place, a different state, facing an unexpected
(31:44):
life change, or dealing with illness. The discomfort we feel
often stems less from the situation itself and more from
what we don't know. A lot of people are like,
even here, when I told people are moving to Kentucky,
a lot of people are like, well, who do you
know in Kentucky? It's like, why do I have to
know anybody? You know? It's almost like, so you feel
that you need to know someone I don't. I have
(32:07):
traveled quite a bit. I've gone on vacation to more
than one place, and preferably where nobody knows me. That's
kind of like how I would prefer to live my life.
I want to venture and get to know how I
react to the world around me, and try new foods,
new places. During my music career, I was able to travel,
(32:28):
and I stayed in hundreds of hotels and motels and
some really small places and some beautiful, wonderful ones. But
because of this, I've met incredible people, incredible musicians, engineers,
like people, sound people, producers, directors, and of course people
(32:49):
that went to just party. And I was blessed to
meet so many people in what I consider my short
life because at that time I was in my early
thirties and it was a great time. But think about
the irony, this fear that we build on something by
(33:09):
definition that we can't even fully understand. We can't even
confront it. But we're afraid of something, We're not sure
of something with no reason. We're often left anxious, not
because of something is wrong, but because we simply just
don't know fear of the unknown, what will happen next?
And then nothing happens, and then we're good until the
(33:32):
same thing happens again. Then we're fearful again. And in
this podcast, I want to talk to you about this
nature of the fear of the unknown and examine why
it affects us so deeply and offers several I want
to give you a few ideas of what you can
do to help if you're willing to do the work.
If you're not willing to do the work, then can
(33:53):
basically continue to make yourself sick and cheat yourself of
a great life. The unknown has always captivated and frightened us.
Ancient civilizations created myths to explain the unexplainable, Why the
sun rises, why what lies beyond the stars, or what
(34:14):
happens after death. These stories, while often based in our imagination,
give structure to a usually filled, chaotic, filled world in
a way that well, there were early tools for managing
the fear of the unknown. Today, we live in a
(34:35):
world saturated with information, yet uncertainties can still haunt us.
The unknown takes different forms now, Unpredictable global events, the
future of technology, health crisis, personal turning points, every three
months there is a new group of people saying that
the world is going to end tomorrow and that Jesus
is coming back this Saturday. And what I find fascinating
(34:59):
is how as a human race we forget things so quickly.
It doesn't matter what it is. It could be the
most tragic things in the world. Nine to eleven was
a horrible thing. But I always say something that I
remember walking out the next morning, let's not say nine
to eleven, nine thirteen, nine fourteen, and on our street.
(35:22):
I don't know how it happened, but people made the
time to go out and find a flag and a
pole and a little connection and screw it onto the
next to their door. It was amazing. It seemed that
every house in Bridgeport had a flag, and I thought
it was amazing. It was amazing. And then for some
(35:44):
reason people didn't want to be a part of the country,
and those flags started falling off, disappearing, tearing, flying away,
and before you know it, my house was the only
house on that street with a flag. Nothing has changed
for me. I was still given the gift of birth
by my parents who came to this country for freedom,
(36:06):
and I will always be proud of that I will
always be. Actually, that's one thing I want to get
for this house is I want to get a flagpole
and put up a flag because I'm proud. I'm proud
and grateful. And a lot of people will be like, yeah,
but you know, and yeah, but you've never traveled to
other countries. You don't know what it's like to be
in other third world countries. So even with the bullshit
(36:30):
that's happening here, you have no idea how blessed you
really are. I don't know. It's like the unknown takes
different forms. It becomes unpredictable of what's happening, you know,
as I said, with global events, with the future, the
possibility of what's happening with technology Elon Musk cars. People
(36:54):
love the cars. Now they're burning the cars. Now I
see the cars again. Now they're burning the car. It's
I don't know, but the emotional reaction is the same.
It triggers worry, stress, hesitation, and often paralysis. People watch
the news for fear, and the sad thing is people
want fear. They may not want it, but think about it.
Fender benders people on the highway. They will pull over
(37:16):
and come to almost a complete stop to be able
to look over and see if somebody is dead on
the highway. Weather people talk about fake news, right, it exists,
Please don't deny that. But little did you know there's
a thing called fake weather. You're like, why, yes, because
the news knows that people are not going to watch
(37:38):
the news and when everything is great. So I know
of people that were in Connecticut when the storms a
few weeks ago, a week ago, two weeks ago were
happening here, and so I'm able to witness it firsthand,
and based on the news up North Kentucky was completely
the whole state was underwater. There was fires, tornadoes, there
(38:01):
was the wrath of God that the Four Horsemen were
and I'm like, there was rain and there was flooding
and it never happens as much. I'm getting blamed for
a lot of it here because people are saying my
neighbors are saying I brought this stuff, But realistically it's
it wasn't that bad. The issue was there there was death,
(38:22):
so because of that, which was traumatic, and of course
I pray for that person. A few people, but the
bottom line is in Tennessee and in Mississippi and Georgia
and like those southern states, that's where the storm went.
And for some reason, it was just let's just focus
on Kentucky. Whereas I walk out my front door and
(38:43):
it's it's drizzling, there's no tornadoes, there's no end of
the world, there's no Wrath of Khan, there's nothing. It
was very exaggerated. And that's when now I got to
learn firsthand that even the weather they would rather make
up these crazy storms and things because people fear. They
(39:04):
feed on your fear. When you're fearful, you're stuck, you're
glued to watch it. It's paralysis, which is fascinating to me.
If it's just like, oh, yeah, it's gonna beautiful day
and the sun is out and it's said, oh okay,
next channel. But from a psychological perspective, fear of the
unknown is closely tied to our brain's desire for control.
(39:27):
The brain is a prediction machine, constantly trying to anticipate
what will happen next. When it really can't, it goes
on high alert, flooding us with stress hormones, cortisol, adrenaline.
All his emotions. Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear. That look,
as I said, looking down the hallway at whatever's down there,
(39:51):
and usually it's nothing. What could possibly be lurking in
the tall grass or making the noise in the back
of the barn. I just turn on a flashlight and
walk over to the back of the barn. Caution, Yes,
can save your life, but if you never find out
what happened, you're always out of lack of what if,
(40:13):
what could have? And that's when even the best of
opportunities get lost in our lives because we never check,
we never try. We just get filled with fear and
run away. And that's not funny. It's kind of a
waste of life. But in modern life, the same mechanism
that leads to chronic anxiety over situations that aren't actually
(40:35):
even dangerous. Why the unknown is so scary? Oh? Why
is it? Why was that Shark movie so scary? I
mean watching it now, I look back at you know,
I actually saw the shark that was in the movie
where one of the sharks. I went to the amusement park.
(40:55):
I always forget the name, not Disney, the other one
Universal Studios. As I said, I mentioned this in a
few podcasts ago. I was at the back in the
future three D ride, and across the way was the
shark hang, and also in the water was the fake shark,
and I remember we ended up. The second time, I
went getting in that boat ride without thinking like, oh
(41:19):
my god, what if it kills me. It's it's it's
a ride, And the boat went right up to the
shark and I looked. I mean, of course, I rode
right in front, and I looked at the shark and
there was nothing. It was like, wow, it's a robot
and it actually looks really shitty. It's falling apart. And
(41:39):
then again what I felt was real silly, because I
was like, wow, all those opportunities and times that I
could have enjoyed myself in the water with people, but
instead I just I let stupidity take control. But I mean,
one of the main reasons why the unknown is so
frightened is that it threatens our sense of control. We
(42:03):
want to control of everything, So the fear of the
possibility of a storm or a tornado or you know,
losing control. You know, we don't like that. We like
our lives to be predictable. We like our lives to
be planned. That's why more people that like their lives
planned heavily are more fearful because the minute anything happens,
(42:27):
they flip out instead of just saying I'm going to
enjoy my life and live my life and breathe my
life and be thankful to my maker, my God, the
universe for giving me all of these gifts and not
cheated by wasting it. So I mean, instead of planning
and scheduling and structuring our lives to avoid surprises, you
(42:48):
allow them. Because life is filled with surprises, and when
a situation doesn't fit exactly into our expected framework, it
makes many of us feel helpless. But I mean, the
less we know, the more we tend to fill in
those blanks, often with but what if the worst case scenarios,
(43:08):
instead of saying, well, what do I have to do
to resolve the problem, to prepare, to secure myself, to
make myself safe? Because what you're doing if you're a
control freak, fine, be a control freak, take back control.
If you know a situation is going to happen, you
take control, full control. It's the less we know, the
(43:31):
more we tend to, like I said, fill in those blanks.
What if I fail? What if something bad happens? What
if I can't handle it well. What you're basically saying
is that you don't trust in yourself. If you can't
prepare and live without fears because you don't trust yourself,
you doubt yourself. Obviously, I hate to say this, but
then you're really not as strong as you think you are.
(43:53):
You really don't have your shit together. A person who
has your shit together and has a confidence and as
strong is prepared one hundred, not ninety eight, not ninety seven,
not ninety nine. A situation is about to happen. How
am I prepared? Do I have flashlights? Do I have
the things that I need to get through this? Instead
of just talking about and saying, well, I need to
(44:14):
do this and I need to do that. The funny
thing is, when we first moved down here, speaking of tornadoes,
it took me a while to realize why people down
here don't fear them. It's weird. They don't even talk
about them. And here I am like, oh my god,
you know, fear for fear, and everybody's like yeah, But
I mean most people in this neighborhood have never even
(44:35):
seen one, which is interesting, it's fascinating to me. But
their mentality is like, well, if there's a tornado, you
just go down to your storm shelter. If there's a tornado,
you go into your basement. If there's a tornado, you
you they It's not like it's a surprise here. It's
not surprise anymore. That doesn't really exist. The news knows.
I follow Ryan y'all on YouTube, which I recommend him
(44:58):
for the best of news. He is unlike any other newscaster.
He has groups of stormchasers, and it's like they actually
pinpoint exactly when tornadoes are happening in what towns, and
they let people know in those towns, Hey time to
batten down the hatches, time to go into the basements,
time to leave the area. And you just do why
(45:20):
because he always says, don't live in fear, be prepared,
And I mean, but again, it's amazing what we can
create with our minds. This fear. I'll give you a
great one. In nineteen ninety I went to school for
musical engineering, and I remember being surrounded the first day
(45:40):
in school by an extremely incredible class of students from
around the country. They were very motivated and driven, and
all I can think of is if I deserve to
be in that classroom All of them had extensive experience
already in their lives on some many different levels that
(46:01):
I felt most of them didn't even need to be
in school. And all I can think of is that
I deserve to be here. My background at the time
was I had a really good ear for music, and
I had been djaying since I was thirteen, from small
birthday parties to large parties to even some clubs. And
(46:25):
once I was up there and on stage, and those
sets began. When I started playing for these parties, whether
it was a birthday party, a wedding, or like an
actual dance, I was filled with such confidence, such control
of the room. But yet yet this group of students
(46:46):
in this classroom all had so many different levels of
training that I felt that there was no way that
I can fit in with this group of kids. And
in fact, I believe, and it took years to figure
this out, that I my stress, my fear, I created
(47:07):
a tumor that was underneath my right shoulder right here.
Actually you could still see a little bit of the scar.
This car actually went up to here here and it
went down up and around to hear they had to
open all of this up. It's amazing with stress and
(47:30):
fear causes it causes sickness. Well, it grew incredibly fast
to the size of a baseball, a little bit bigger
than a baseball, and after attending school for only not
even six months, I had to have it operated on
and have it removed, and I was blessed to find
out that it wasn't cancerous. But the decision was pretty
(47:57):
deep because the tumor was in my and they had
to go underneath my armpit as I showed you all
the way up and down and disconnect tendons muscles, cut
into that bone and put a plate on it, and
(48:17):
of course what would happened was guess yes, I had
to leave school and once the operation was done, I
had to go through physical therapy and I had to wait,
why because I have to wait for the next semester
to start. So surprisingly with by the time I was
comfortable and the doctor felt that I was safe to
(48:38):
basically travel in subways and everything and not be pushed
because my bone could be broken very easily. Again, took
a whole year. I remember being so detached, so depressed
that I felt that I wasn't appreciative and grateful of
that first classroom the first time, the first group that
I attended with because I was feeled with year of
(49:00):
not being able to fit in. So, of course, once
the doctors cleared me to go back to school this time,
this time, my attitude was very different. I was so
incredibly motivated and ready to take on anything. I loved
every single moment of every single day. I loved the
train ride there, the train ride home, the walk to
(49:22):
the school. Oh my god, lunches at the buffets I would.
My school was next to FT, which is the fashionist
sort of technology, so I had my lunch there surrounded
by amazing people listening to their dreams, their goals. I
became a shinting student. I loved my classes. I loved
my teachers. My teachers were actually like producers, musicians, directors
(49:43):
for famous people. It was a great time and because
of that, I had a very lengthy music career that
I was able to record, produce some amazing people and
inspire them to follow their dreams. And best of all,
I got to work in some incredible studios. I made
so many people dance. I made so many people let
(50:04):
to go of their daily worries and stresses and savor
the rhythm of life. I had to let go of fear,
that failure of judgment. But here's a thought. There are
those of us that continue to think that we are
just born broken. Where do some of these fears come from?
(50:27):
Some of them, we have no reason to connect them
with anything. I was afraid of Jaws because of a
stupid movie. But that's stupid. But here's a good one.
I have had a fear of spiders, yet not like
I lived among them. I was never a cave dweller
or lived under trees. I mean, yet never having dealt
(50:49):
with any in my life to have such a fear
of them. And now I live on a farm where
there are many, and I have been able to understand
what they do, why they do it, how important they are,
and the respect that I have for them. The funny
thing is we have wolf spiders. We have many different
(51:10):
types of spiders here, and it's funny to bring it
up to the neighboring farmers, the Amish Tikxhamish, and they
are very simple in saying, no, you don't kill this spider,
because the wolf spider kills the recluse spider, and the
recluse spider we up North are terrified of them because
they devour your arm and they do this stuff. And
(51:31):
these people are like, they really don't do anything. They
don't bite. I mean, if they finally do bite you,
you can get an infection and it can be bad.
But the chances of one chasing you down the hallway
and grabbing you is not happening. That's why you want
to keep the wolf spiders, because wolf spiders kill them.
And then you have the cave crickets, and the cave
crickets kill them. And I'm sitting there listening to them
talk as if it's just a part of their life,
(51:55):
no fear, because think of it. They grew up with
it and grew up with it. And in my mind,
I don't know movies, I don't know why I just
created this thing that spiders are larger than the house
and oh my god, and they have more arms than
me and they can divide. And now I go out
to the barn and I've seen a few. The weaver.
(52:16):
There's a weaver spider which creates a web, which is
the most beautiful thing. It's not what you think, like
a regular it's almost like this. It is. I'm not
gonna lie to you, I went to go like destroy
the web and kill the spider, and I've just I
moved him because he was in a doorway that I
needed to go through. So I actually was able to
(52:37):
disconnect everything and put them right on the outside of
the barn, in the corner between a bird feeder and
the wall, and that's where he lives. And because of that,
there's less bugs and bats. People are afraid of bats.
I have rehab bats. We need bats. We need these animals.
They have purpose, We live amongst them. We just have
(52:59):
to respect them. And again, as I'm saying this now,
I can't help but like think to myself, God, that
was stupid, stupid what like? But then you have this
thing called evolutionary wiring, the wiring in our minds. As
(53:20):
mentioned earlier, our brains evolve to keep us safe from threats,
you know, the caveman. We fear our psychological are psychological
rather than the physical. Basically, we fear of things that
we just created in our minds instead of actually things
that you know. I mean, if I ran into a
a hallway and there were hundreds of spiders and I
(53:41):
have to run through them, and oh my god, that's
some scary shit. But you're walking through a hallway and
up in that corner there's a spider up there eating bugs.
He's not like, hey, get out of here, I'm gonna
kill you. It's just it's a spider. Understanding these root
causes can be the first step towards managing your fear again,
(54:02):
doing your homework, studying pictures, videos. Why do these things
happen the way they do? And it's what makes fear
of the unknown uniquely tricky? Is itself reinforcing loop. Instead
of breaking it down, we keep building it up with
more fear. We fear what we don't know, and because
we don't know it, we can directly face it or
(54:24):
resolve it. Unlike those like real concrete fears that you
can touch, such as fear spiders, or heights, the fear
of the unknown lacks a specific object. How do you
get rid of us? The fear of the unknown. It's unknown.
This can make it feel diffused, overwhelming, and sometimes irrational.
In many cases, people don't even recognize that what they're
(54:47):
feeling is fear. They just feel a sense of uneasier dread.
The unknown is a blank canvas that it's up to
you to create and paint with your colors, and the
human brain tends to paint it with dark colors. But
here's where the irony kicks in. Since it is unknown,
it could just as easily lead to something positive. A
(55:11):
new job might be the best career move of your life.
A big life change might bring unexpected joy. But our
minds tend to default to caution first, fear, fear, what if,
oh my god. Recognizing this irony is powerful. It helps
to reframe our thinking. If the unknown is just that
(55:35):
the unknown, then it doesn't automatically deserve our fear. It's unknown.
I'm not going to fear the unknown. It may deserve
our curiosity instead. Exercises for managing fear of the unknown.
Although fear of the unknown is a deeply rooted emotional response,
it can be managed with ready awareness, intention, practice. Here's
(55:58):
some exercises. By the way, reframe, I use the word
reframe in hypnosis. Reframing is something that I use with
many clients. It is a technique where a negative belief
or situation is reinterpreted in a more positive or neutral way,
(56:20):
helping the individual you to change their frame of reference,
moving from a limited belief to a more empowerment empowering one.
We often spiral into anxiety by asking what if something
goes wrong? Instead saying what if and then create of
(56:42):
the many things that can go right, Because if you're
still here and you seem okay from what I can
kind of tell, then things kind of worked out. But
it's funny we think of the wrong the right happens,
and then we're like, all right, onto the next wrong
thing and onto the next wrong thing. Like how many
good things have to happen for you to finally be
(57:03):
like I'm blessed, Like I'm gonna stop wasting my time
with stupidity and fear of the unknown. So instead of
what if I fail, instead of saying what if I
succeed beyond my expectations? If I lose money, what if
I make money? What if I regret this decision? What
if this leads me to personal growth a level that
(57:25):
I've never imagined. Writing out these pairs helps retrain your
brain to see both sides of uncertainty, not just the
worst case scenarios. Instead of trying to eliminate all uncertainty
and impossible task, we're kind of creating a sense of
tolerance for it, and you can start small. Go a
(57:46):
day without planning your schedule to the minute. That's not
a healthy thing to do. To live by the clock constantly.
That leads to a lot of heart conditions, to a
lot of stress and worry because you can't control your time.
And you can think you can, but you can't. So
what ends up happening is when you can't. Because you can't,
(58:07):
then shit starts to catch up to you and things
happen in your life that I know of somebody right
now that's going through something because life changed for them,
and all of a sudden they can't do it. And
it's just if you really, if I tell, if you know,
it's a simple, simple thing, and then life just moves on.
But for a person who has lived like a robot
(58:27):
to a clock and now all of a sudden, the
game has changed, the board pieces were changed, and all
of a sudden, but how do I even play this
game of life? And it's just like you continue playing
as you've been playing all along. Here's some things that
I want you to do. Really, go a day without
(58:47):
planning anything. Put your phone away. I do it often
on purpose. It helps me, It helps me relax. Put
your phone away if somebody needs you, they will find you.
Try eating something without figuring out what it is. It's
very simple. It's not going to kill you. So you
(59:08):
try it, and if you like it, you eat more.
And if you don't, you don't. That's life. If somebody
invites you somewhere, just say yes, just go. Be spontaneous.
It's a wonderful, amazing feeling to be spontaneous. We do
(59:28):
it all the time. Melissa and I will just sit
here and all of a sudden be like, let's just
go there and we go. Let's just go here and
we go. We don't feel the need to be like, well,
we're going to go, and we have to make sure
we're back by you know, four fifteen, and we have
to be able to come back and eat dinner by
four sixteen, and from four sixteen to four nineteen dinners
in and then at four pointy unhealthy, unrealistic, unnatural, And
(59:56):
then what helps tremendously, And as many of you know,
I always talk about medita. Meditation is very simple. Just
go sit somewhere and just be quiet and just let
everything happen. It's one of the by far, by far,
one of the most effective ways to reduce your anxiety,
including fear of the unknown. When you're overwhelmed by uncertainty,
(01:00:18):
your mind is usually focused on something you can control,
a future that you came and see. So mindfulness brings
you back to this present. Sit or stand quietly, breathe deeply.
Name five things in front of you that you can see.
The grass, the trees, the chickens, the house, and the car.
(01:00:40):
Four things that you can walk up to in touch
the grass, the trees, the car, the flowers. Four things
you can hear. I can hear the birds, I can
hear the chickens, I can hear the wind. I can
hear the cars going by in the distance. Two things
that I can smell, grass and flowers. And one thing
(01:01:01):
that I can taste some chocolate. See. You're getting connected
with reality of what you do have control of, that
you have control of. The sensory practice helps anchor you
into your current reality, and it calms your nervous system
instead of what if, what if? Of the unknown, what
(01:01:24):
may happen, what might happen, what could happen? And then
of course what helps for many people is journaling. Write
things down. Because you can write it down, it's almost
like you're taking it out of here and you're putting
it through your hand onto a piece of paper. I'm
leaving it here, I'm leaving here. What is the situation?
What do I know about it? What is the worst
possible outcome? What is the best possible outcome? What is
(01:01:49):
the most realistic outcome? This exercise turns that fog, that
unsureness of anxiety into a more manageable, controllable thought process.
For my control freaks, this is what helps saying that
you're in control and you're just sitting there in fear.
Fear is not being in control. And then of course
(01:02:12):
you want to be prepared and able to welcome change.
That's why a lot of people tell me I don't
like change, which I find fascinating, and I understand it's
not for everybody. But in a world that's always changing,
I mean, like if you live, even if you live
in an island by yourself, the season's changed, the ocean's change,
the sky changes, the clouds are always changing, the sun
(01:02:35):
goes up, the sun comes down, the moon goes I mean,
there's always change. So for you to be so sure
and I want to live in my own little bubble. Hey, look,
at the last podcast Living in a Bubble in small Ways,
take a new route to work, take it, just get on,
get in your car and just go go go that
way and just drive. I mean back in the day,
(01:02:56):
I did it without a map or with a cell phone.
Now we have GPS, right, Honest, it's just funny that
people are like, people are still afraid to. I'm afraid
to what if I get lost? It's impossible.
Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (01:03:09):
First off, the pretty much most of the of the
of the country, let's say the US we visited. So
the chances of you getting lost and like disappearing forever
unless you choose to, it's kind of impossible. So you
drive and you just drive, and you're gonna end up somewhere.
And then when you get there, you take take a
left or take a right, and you just keep going.
(01:03:30):
And if you get to the point that you're feeling
confident enough, you pull over, you go to a gas station,
you be like, Hi, where the fuck am I? And
they'll be like, oh, you just jump on the highway
that's right there, and you go west and you go, okay,
thank you, and then you're home. But you have ventured,
you have seen, you have tried you have, You've you've
gotten to experience life. That's what experiencing life is. Not
just like I'm gonna get in my car. I think
(01:03:52):
I'm not sure maybe what it but you know, I
don't know where anything is. Well, yeah, I know most
of us don't. That's that's called experiencing life. And I
hope you do, and that you make change a regular
part of your life, even in the smallest of ways.
(01:04:12):
Change your morning and routine, learn a new skill, a
new hobby. If you walk this way, walk that way.
If you run this way, run that way, if you
drive this way, drive that way. By voluntarily stepping into
unfamiliar territory, you strengthen your adaptability muscle, which can help
with the bigger, more intimidating unknowns. And of course by
(01:04:35):
doing more, you welcome more opportunity. You live in a bubble.
Not many people are gonna come to your bubble. You
have to go to the world out there. So I
hope you take this episode and really break it down
and understand that it wasn't about the fear of life,
but it was the hunger for life and wanting to
(01:04:56):
experience as much as you can. Before, as I mentioned,
everything ends when you take your last breath, So until then,
experience it all. Flourish, flourish in life. As I said
in the beginning, I am now fifty five years old,
and I do look forward to hopefully another fifty five years.
(01:05:19):
But I no longer live with fear of death. I
live with fear of not living my life to the fullest.
So my perception of life has become I want to
enjoy it all. I want to do it all. I
want to try it all. And the older I get,
the more I want to try, because life is getting shorter.
(01:05:40):
And I want to be grateful for everything, everything that's
around me, everybody who's around me, my circle of friends.
I have quality in friends, not quantity. And of course
the animals, the many animals that share their lives with
me and show me all such an incredible amount of
(01:06:01):
unconditional love. I'm always blessed and surrounded by such love.
I welcome them in. God shows me love unconditionally, and
for all this, I'm extremely grateful. So yes, the free
of the unknown is Yes. It is deeply a human
experience when that touches everyone at some point, but it
(01:06:24):
arises not because we are weak, but because we are
wired for survival in a world that is unpredictable. Yet
the truth is much of what we fear never happens.
The unknown is not inherently bad, It is just explored.
It holdes both risk and possibility. But by understanding yourself,
(01:06:46):
by understanding the psychological roots of this fear and practicing
specific strategies strategies to manage it, we can begin to
shift our mindset. Instead of seeing the un as a threat,
we can learn to see it as a space of potential,
a place where a growth, opportunity, and even joy might
(01:07:09):
be waiting. Facing the unknown doesn't meanly stop being afraid.
It means we move forward anyway, knowing that fear is
a part of the journey, not the whole story. With
every episode that I record, I hope I make you think.
I hope I make you question your existence and to
(01:07:30):
appreciate every single tomorrow, every today, and be grateful for
all of the experiences of your past that have made
you who you are right now. My name is Jimmy
Gonzalez and this was the Reset Yourself twenty two podcast.
(01:07:50):
Thank you so much for listening, for liking, and especially
for sharing with others. It means a lot to me.
Many blessings True, you all be well and prosper.
Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
What a shell was brought to you by gnosis and
(01:08:30):
healing and the mind SiGe meditation and dedicated to all
those that get up every day and hustle and do
all they can to make a difference in their lives
and the lives of others.
Speaker 5 (01:08:40):
If you are interested in learning more about the services
that Jimmy offers, visit www dot n O E M
a h h dot com. Jimmy offers a downloadable ebook
and a link to his mind Zie meditation sessions, which
are both offered for free. Please consider it a gift.
And for those that like the do it your self approach,
(01:09:01):
Jimmy also offers pre recorded self hypnosis sessions. If you
prefer the one on one approach, feel free to reach out.
You have been listening to the Reset Yourself twenty two
podcast
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