April 9, 2025 • 41 mins
Caren Paskel's journey from struggling with mental health issues to becoming a beacon of resilience and self-belief captivates from the first moment of our conversation. Her story begins at age 16 when a yoga class provided her first genuine spiritual connection—a transformative experience that would become her lifeline through depression, unhealthy relationships, and physical ailments.
What makes Caren's perspective so valuable is her emphasis on lived experience over theoretical knowledge. While she deeply values the ancient wisdom of yoga philosophy, she emphasizes that transformation requires active implementation: "You're not just a work in progress—it takes work to progress." This distinction between passive consumption and meaningful application resonates throughout our discussion.
The heart of her story unfolds with her late husband's brain cancer diagnosis at just 28, barely a year into their marriage. Despite this devastating circumstance, Caren found herself growing through the caregiving experience, witnessing firsthand what she calls "the power of self-belief" embodied by her husband. Even as his health declined, he maintained an unwavering conviction—eventually completing and publishing his aptly titled book "Can't Doesn't Exist" with help from a friend when he could no longer write independently.
Today, Caren works as what she calls a "spiritual escort," helping individuals reach their highest potential through intimate, personalized guidance. Her current venture, the Youthful Longevity Mastermind, specifically supports people through midlife transitions like widowhood, divorce, or health challenges. Rather than identifying as a victim of loss, she focuses on gratitude for what her husband gave her—a perspective that transforms grief into purpose and meaning.
Whether you're navigating personal loss, seeking greater fulfillment, or simply curious about resilience, Caren's story offers profound wisdom on embracing our unique gifts and believing in possibilities beyond our perceived limitations.
Freed AI converts conversations into SOAP note.Use code Steve50 for $50 off the 1st month!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy
.
A proud member of thePsychCraft Network, the goal of
this podcast is to demystifytherapy, what can happen in
therapy and the wide array ofconversations you can have in
and about therapy Throughpersonal experiences.
Guests will talk about therapy,their experiences with it and
(00:24):
how psychology and therapy arepresent in many places in their
lives, with lots of authenticityand a touch of humor.
Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Alors?
C'est le dernier épisode avantla relance.
This is the last episode beforethe relaunch.
La Relance this is the lastepisode before the relaunch.
My name is Steve Biso and thisis Finding your Way Resilience,
development and Action.
If you haven't listened toepisode 198, it's just me
meandering thoughts, and I hopeyou go back and listen to those,
because they're not justmeandering.
There's a lot of good stuff inthere.
(00:58):
But for episode 199, we'regoing to meet with Karen Paschal
.
Karen Paschal is someone whohas had her own share of loss in
her life and I'm sure she'sgoing to talk about that.
She's exploring resilience andempathy and grief for mental
health awareness duringchallenging times.
She is someone that has a bookout.
She has her own story thatshe'd like to share a
(01:20):
transformative journey, actuallyand she wants to be able to
share her own journey and how itcould help others.
So I hope you enjoyed it.
Here's the interview.
Getfreeai yes, you've heard metalk about it previously in
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(02:04):
what you're saying and willcreate, after the end of every
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But it goes above and beyondthat.
Not only does it create aprogress note, it also gives you
suggestions for goals, givesyou even a mental status if
you've asked questions aroundthat, as well as being able to
write a letter for your clientto know what you talked about.
So that's the great, greatthing.
(02:26):
It saves me time, it saves me alot of aggravation and it just
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(03:08):
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(03:37):
Well, hi everyone and welcome toepisode 199.
You know you get in touch withpeople through email in my job a
lot and I got to say that I getnot a word of a lie.
I get about five to six emailsa week for guests and most of
the time I read it for half asecond and go, yeah, not a fit.
And then I got Karen Paschal'sthing and I was just, I was
(04:01):
reading it and reading it I'mlike, okay, since I've already
read till the bottom, includingher bio, I'm interested.
And then I went to her websiteand I'm like I got to meet this
woman.
There's a story here that Ithink everyone will enjoy
hearing on finding your way,resilience, development and
action.
So, karen Paschal, welcome tomy podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Thank you, Steve, so much.
That was a nice introduction.
I'm grateful to be here.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Well, you know pre-interview we just had this
conversation.
Anyone who knows me and I thinkthat's going to be something
you're going to echo about youis that I can't lie.
So if I didn't feel thesethings, I couldn't tell you
these things.
I would be like, all right andwelcome Karen for finding your
way, and that's all I would havesaid.
I always talk aboutauthenticity and that's even in
(04:45):
our short conversation beforethis.
Our exchange on email is reallystruck me as you're very
authentic, so I really wantpeople to hear that and see that
, so usually just want to look.
You know, I've started to knowyou, obviously with the stuff
I've looked at, but my audiencemay not know you, so I like you
to introduce yourself to myaudience my audience may not
(05:06):
know you, so I'd like you tointroduce yourself to my
audience.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Hello everybody, I'm Karen Paschal and I'm just
grateful.
Really, what we were talkingabout before is to show up in my
glory and share my story, andthat is how I roll, that is how
I live, that is how I educate,that is how I contribute to the
world, and my greatest gift, Ibelieve, is this desire to
develop myself and improve onmyself, and that is my purpose.
(05:32):
I know it's my purpose to be inmy highest vibration and to
live in the celebration that Ican achieve this state of
self-actualization.
And so that's the path I'vebeen on for quite a while and
I've always been seeking that.
(05:53):
And I didn't know that it wasan inward journey until I took a
yoga class at 16, when I washaving panic and anxiety in
school, and that was the firstdeeper connection I ever made to
myself, that I thought what isthis?
And now I know it was aspiritual connection and it was
(06:14):
different from all the otherconnections that I had made so
far, I guess, in life that werepretty external, based on the
external.
So this was internal and Iwanted more of it.
I wanted more of it.
So I really have a long pastand relationship now with yoga
(06:36):
being such a healthy path for mein my forward movement in my
life.
I went to art school, my forwardmovement in my life.
I went to art school but Iinvolved art and yoga together.
I ended up teaching even beforeI got certified.
It was very natural for me totalk about life and
transformation and everything.
(06:57):
It was very therapeutic.
That was for me so therapeuticto hear what the teacher was
saying about life as I wasmoving and breathing.
So I was able to emulate thatat quite a young age without any
training.
So I knew it was natural for meand I enjoyed it.
Plus, I could also make somemoney on the side while I was in
(07:19):
school.
So I kept on the path.
But I had a lot of mental healthissues.
I mean, I was in a veryunhealthy relationship and had
an unhealthy relationship withmen, with food, with my body.
I had a lot of depression,sleep disorders and because of
all this mental stuff Ideveloped physical issues as
(07:39):
well and inflammation at a youngage and fatigue and I was on
countless medications.
So yoga was seriously mylifeline and I did go through a
lot of therapy as well.
So just talking about what Iwas going through and having
that soundboard was really,really, really vital for me,
especially because it wassomeone different than a family
(08:01):
member.
So there was, you know, no, nobias in judgment.
Different than a family member?
So there was, you know, no, nobias in judgment.
I felt safe, right.
That was the biggest thing.
And you know, through all ofthis, I just stayed on the path
of self-development and I Iended up really just starting to
study more of the universalvalues of life and the
philosophy versus the yoga poses, the physical stuff.
(08:23):
And that's where things took areal big turn for me, like all
that education for life thatwasn't in my regular schooling
and I thought why doesn'teveryone have this?
This is like the roadmap to howto be a human being in the
world and to evolve.
It just made no sense that itwas so sensible.
(08:44):
Why isn't this taught?
So that became my mission.
I got it, I got to teach thisand it really became my highest
desire to a better way that Icould contribute and educate and
lead, and all during the sametime is when I became in my most
impactful relationship with mylate husband, and you know, he
(09:18):
was the epitome of the power ofself-belief, and even though I
had grown so much and evolved, Istill had a lot of physical and
mental issues.
I was struggling with my healthand and I stayed small I really
wasn't showing up in the bigway that I am now and he was,
and so I needed that mirror inmy life.
(09:39):
But unfortunately he becamevery ill very young age.
He was 12 years younger than me, so he was diagnosed with brain
cancer at 28.
We were just one year marriedand it was a total shock through
our worlds upside down.
Our businesses were affected,our families, everything we had
to reevaluate.
(10:00):
But it created the biggest lifeshift for me to become a
caregiver, to be of service inthat way, to navigate life and
take care of him in that way,and whatever came our way, I
(10:27):
lost the greatest thing in mylife that I had.
And how do I continue on?
Well, I used his power ofself-belief and I'm living for
him and that's my legacy, and Iwrote a book called the Power of
Self-Belief.
So that's sort of my story.
I'm sure there's a lot more inthere, but you'll ask me the
(10:47):
right questions.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I'm not asking your right questions.
I mean, there's like 12questions that came to mind.
More importantly, sorry foryour loss.
Thank you.
That's always difficult.
You know I was listening toyour Maslow hierarchy of needs
and yoga.
You know I do yoga notregularly, but I do definitely
do yoga and if it wasn't fordownward dog, I would do it more
(11:13):
regularly.
I'll be perfectly honest withyou, people like that's the
easiest one to like.
For some of you, some of us whodon't have any flexibility,
sucks especially for men.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
It's usually the hardest because you're actually
carrying the more muscle and andthe like you have less
flexibility.
So down dog is kind oftorturesome for a lot of men.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
You're so nice thinking I have muscle.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
You, you have more muscle mass, I'm sure, Even even
if you think you don't.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I know I'm just trying to be funny here, but no,
and I, and I think that whatone of the things that you
didn't say in so many words andI'd like you to continue talking
about that is you know?
You said you know why aren'tthey teaching that in school?
I've learned in my life thatwhat I learned in my master's
means nothing unless I practicedifferent ways of learning it.
Hierarchy of needs of Maslow isone thing.
(11:58):
Knowing how to implement that,know where people are at, how to
implement that, that can betaught in people's words.
It can't be like that stuff.
I lost my best friend when I was12 in a fire.
You can't teach what grief isuntil you live grief and I don't
know what it is to lose apartner and I'm going to knock
on wood because I don't want tolose my partner in my life.
(12:20):
I can't teach that to people.
I can't know how you feel.
And once you realize, the mostlessons in life are never going
to be taught in a book and youcan't read about it.
You can learn from them, butyou're not going to, it's not
going to be.
You can't know it until youlive.
It is what I heard you say forthe most part, and when I I ran
for about seven years or eightyears and I never got that
(12:43):
runner's high, everyone talkedabout it.
I never got it and I ran halfmarathons.
I only did two half marathons.
I'm lazy, never did a full one.
But the point is is that when Idid yoga, I got the spiritual
breathing and I got to andthere's and I can't teach that
and I can't tell people aboutthat because it is to me
(13:04):
learning to breathe in that wayis easier than breathing while
I'm talking to you.
I don't know why, but that'show it is for me.
So I don't know what you wantto expand on, but that's really
what I found in what you weresaying is very impactful, among
many other things, because goingto therapy so important.
You learn so much aboutyourself and that third party
(13:24):
God, you know that's soimportant, but I don't know
where you want to go with allthis.
But I want to throw out myobservations and maybe we can
continue talking.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Yeah, thank you, I appreciate it.
So I think that what helped methe most from reading the
highest knowledge known tomankind, which come from the
Vedas and Vedas just meansknowledge and it was presented
in such a practical way.
They were values to live by,and I believe that for me they
(13:58):
were a preventative meaning.
They helped to prepare me forall that came my way and I think
that is something we can do iswe can prepare ourselves for
life's eventualities.
But I do believe that, yes, youcan explain all you can explain
and teach all you can teachabout how to navigate, let's say
(14:22):
, losing a loved one or goingthrough that, but until you
really go through it, it's, itis.
You do learn through thatexperience to prepare people,
(14:42):
because if you are alive and youremain alive and you continue
your life, there's going to bechallenges.
No matter who you are and whereyou are, no matter how many
people you have in your life,how much money you have, there
will be these pairs of oppositesthat we will come to face.
There will be things thathappen to you that you may not
be that think would ever happenor imagine.
I didn't imagine this couldever happen.
(15:02):
So, although I'm not saying youshould imagine all these bad
things might happen that's apessimist but reminding
ourselves that we're human andthat life is full of challenge
and change every day and to beready for that.
That's where I think the valuesto live by and the yoga and the
(15:24):
self-development and all thethings I did and continue to do.
They allow me to lean in andfind the blessings.
It's like I don't feel anymorethat I really lost anything.
In fact, I don't even relate tothat word.
It just isn't even myvocabulary, because I look for
the blessings in everything andbecause my husband was such a
(15:47):
blessing for the time I was with.
That's what I focus on.
I focus on what I gained fromhim, even though he's not here,
and so it doesn't feel like aloss anymore.
It really did.
In the beginning, I will tellyou, it really felt like a huge
loss, but I feel so full, likehe gave me so much and I
continue to focus on thoseblessings and that gratitude
(16:10):
fills me up so much every day.
And then, in fact, that's oneof the values is just gratitude,
and until I really learned topractice that full heartedly and
to understand what that reallymeant not just making a
gratitude journal and listingsome things off.
It's like a feeling and anacute awareness of the countless
(16:32):
blessings that are occurringright now, in this given moment,
and so, when I'm tuned intothat, it lifts me to such a high
frequency that nothing disturbsme, so it's very hard for me to
get disturbed at this point.
Yes, little things like ah,that's like annoying, but not to
(16:54):
like deeply, deeply, disturb myinner peace.
This took a long, long time,though, to get to this place, so
that's kind of what I sharewith people is that this is a
lifelong progression and you'renot just a work in progress.
You know, it actually takeswork to progress and you have to
(17:16):
choose to work on yourself, andyeah, so that's, that's where I
am.
The conversation, that's whatcame up.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Well, so basically for me, you're saying that my
progress and growth in life isnot going to come from a podcast
.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Well, it could.
You know, you could be inspiredfrom, you know, learning here
and that could.
That could really spark thegrowth.
But when it's what you do withit, it's what you do with it
that matters, right?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
So if you're inspired , I was trying to lead you to
yeah, you gotta I.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You know it's very hard the the my position,
because I remember my dadtelling me like he was trying to
explain to someone what I doRight, and he said you know it's
, it's not tangible.
What you do Like you, you can'treally what is tangible about.
About saying transformation andhappiness and growth.
(18:14):
It's, it's very hard to sellthat, but that's why I have to
grow myself.
If I'm not doing it, thenyou're not going to believe me.
But if I say, hey, I've createdthis kind of life and this kind
of resilience and thriving fromall the things that have
happened, so can you?
(18:34):
Because I don't think I'mspecial, I think I'm unique and
everybody's unique.
So if I can do it, you can doit, but I can't do it for you.
That's the thing.
And so the bingo yes, the personwho is even in therapy.
We know all this.
It's like you could have thebest therapist in the world, but
if you're not going to taketheir words and really let them
(18:55):
sink in and go apply, thenyou're going to be sitting in
the same seat and listening tothe same.
You know feedback for the restof your life.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Right, and I think that you know I went to one of
my first yoga studios and Idon't know why I walked into
this group because they were allfor lack of a better word
experienced and I was.
You know, I did it at home, butI never did it in the studio
with other people and all Icould do in my head as I was
(19:26):
stuck in this thing that as atherapist I know, but as a human
I don't always practice thisI'm comparing myself to everyone
in the room and then at onepoint I got up and left and one
of the other people walked outand followed me out and they
said I know and I've been there.
She didn't even know me.
She just said I know and I'vebeen there, don't compare
(19:47):
yourself to others, you're doingfantastic.
I'm not even looking at you,but I know you're doing
fantastic because you showed upand to me that was most like.
It wasn't like yeah, you're thebest yoga person in the world or
whatever.
She just took away all thestress that I had about
comparisons and I didn't knowthis woman and I've never seen
her again, for the record, andshe has no clue.
(20:08):
She gave me that gift, but itwas me growing into.
Oh, practice what you preach.
Also, don't compare yourself toothers.
You're a progress and yoga isalways about progress.
Even yoga masters will tell youI'm still progressing.
And so I started reading, andreading, and reading and now
suddenly that 30 secondinteraction at best grew me, and
(20:30):
that's why I think one of thethings I wish you know this was
what I thought you were sayingis that it's not one thing
that's going to change you.
There's like, yeah, there's ahamoments, but if you don't do
nothing with your aha moment, itdoesn't really matter.
And I know I'm talking abouttherapy here, but I know you're
talking about life in general.
It's not about, oh look, I knowthe Maslow hierarchy of needs,
(20:51):
but self-actualization is reallyfreaking hard.
Yeah, and getting there isgoing to be work.
And I think that, unfortunately,I think a lot of people are
looking for that magic pillthat's going to make them feel
better, lose weight, look good,be attractive to other people or
whatever, and that's not life.
Life is growing on other parts.
So I don't know if I'mresonating your message in a
(21:13):
different light, but I wanted tokind of like give you my
feedback as to what you said,because it's absolutely true,
it's not about one moment, it'sabout thinking that moment and
growing it so you can be better.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Absolutely, and I love that you said that about
your yoga teacher, because Ialways said that and I see,
continue to say it in my classesand in all my programs, like
and I have this app.
It's called Marco Polo and Ihave these, I have group
community group programs on itand what it is is it's off
(21:46):
social media, so there's no adsand you can communicate through
videos.
And when I first introducedthis to my group and my program,
I was so excited about becauseeveryone who was in my program
all wanted to make a greaterimpact in the world.
They all wanted to growprogress.
They all wanted to just be outthere and be visible.
(22:11):
And yet they had so muchresistance to this app.
They didn't want to show up andthey didn't want to see
themselves and they were, allyou know, pointing out their
flaws and, oh, I don't like howI look and all of these things.
And I'm like this is exactlywhy we have this, because this
is your starting place for beingvisible and self-love also and
(22:35):
being seen.
And I said just show up.
That's all I kept saying andthat's what resonated when you
were saying that Cause yes, I'vesaid it on my mat, I'm the mat
a million times to all my youknow groups in yoga, but even in
transformation.
I say it to people who you wouldnever believe need this message
.
You would think you know I meanthey're.
They're in corporate andthey're running these big things
(22:57):
and yet on a silly app showingtheir video within a safe space
and only our group.
There's such resistance andthey're having such a hard time.
They're self-loathing andself-doubt and insecurity.
And all of this came to thesurface and I said can you
imagine you're trying to go outthere and become a
transformational coach now andyou can't show up for yourself
(23:17):
in this and feel good in thisgroup?
So there's a lot to work at.
And it really exposed all of usand showing up for yourself and
people kept saying well, I haveto listen.
There's, I feel burdenedbecause there's six different
videos and I have to watch them.
I said who said you had towatch them?
I'm the facilitator, I have towatch them.
That's my job.
I'm just asking you for you toshow up for yourself and share
(23:39):
your story, just whatever it isLike.
We talked about that authenticself and it was so hard for
everyone and, slowly but surely,it took so much time and
practice, to gain that trust inthemselves, to believe in
themselves, to show up forthemselves.
And now my Marco Polo groupsare just exploding and it's
(24:01):
amazing how much you know that,like you said, how much growth
can come from.
Don't compare, because a lot ofpeople did that.
Well, this person's here andthat person's there and it's
like do not compare.
This is a nonjudgmental place,you know.
I had to say all the thingsover and over and over again to
help people feel like they areenough, they are worthy, and as
(24:24):
soon as they started to believethat and show up in the space,
then they were able to go outand be better leaders.
They were able to quit theirjobs, leave relationships and do
all the things that they weretrying to do before but couldn't
, and also go on social mediaand speak, you know, live,
because they want to get aclient and they want to be a
(24:44):
coach and all these things.
So that's what really resonatedfor me.
And, yeah, it's always aboutinspired.
Action is what I want to say,too, to what you said.
Where it's?
I don't tell people what to do,right?
I say wait for an inspirationand I looked this word up, you
know, inspired, and it comesfrom this root word, ethos.
(25:09):
It means enthusiasm.
Ethos is the root word, whichmeans inspired by God, and I
thought that was so amazing.
I'm like, okay, what if youjust waited and not really
waited, but instead of justdoing things, to do them, be
inspired from that divinefeeling from within, and that's
(25:31):
a different kind of action.
That's the kind of action thatreally changes you and makes a
greater impact.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So many things that you just said mean so much to me
.
Thank you for being that yogateacher.
By the way, growth from yoga isspectacular and I know that's
not a manly thing to say, but Ifrankly don't care.
Number one.
Number two I've worked with alot of people who are and I hate
(25:58):
these words, I hate buzzwordsbut the C-suite people and to me
, the comparison and theimposter syndrome that they live
through is absolutelyflabbergasting.
In my experience anyway, and oneof the things that I've been
known to say in my sessions andwith other people is comparison
is a thief of joy, and wheneveryou compare, karen's got
(26:21):
something I don't and I probablyhave something that Karen
doesn't.
That doesn't mean Karen or meare better than each other,
we're just different.
But when you start comparing,you're always going to try to
like well, I should have hair.
Sorry, I just got to go for theeasy part for those on YouTube
Go has wonderful hair and I bald, in case you didn't know.
But that doesn't make youbetter or worse than me, makes
(26:42):
you different, and I think thatthat's the other part too.
When I talk about you, talkabout inspiration.
If we were all the same, itwould be freaking boring, yeah,
and it's a learning to bedifferent and being okay with
our differences.
Celebrate them Right and Ithink that that's what I'm
hearing you say too because ifyou celebrate your differences
and you make those efforts inorder to go deeper and deeper in
(27:02):
development, you're going to beable to share that gift.
There will no longer besomething to be compared or
monetized, but rather beyourself.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Absolutely.
That's huge.
So big part of transformationand the work that I do with
community and clients is allabout celebrating them and every
part of them, where we're atright now and where we've been
and where we're going, and alsothose differences and the
(27:31):
talents that we each have.
So I really try to help peopleto see that the way that they're
different is actually gravis.
It's an autoimmune disease andso it's got some debilitating
(28:03):
effects and people lose a lot oftheir abilities very similar to
the decline my husband had withbrain cancer.
And I remember telling myhusband you are still you, no
matter what you can do, and thatis enough.
And there's always somethingyou can do and that is enough.
And there's always somethingyou can do and focus on that.
And because I gave him thattalk, he was able to write a
(28:25):
book before.
Well, he wrote a book.
He was able to get it out therebefore he died and he reached
out to a friend to help himfinish it because he couldn't
write on his own.
And so I remind people that yourdifferences and even how you
change over life, those are tobe celebrated.
You can actually, you know,give from that place.
(28:47):
That is your mission to to beand give who you are in the
world.
It's actually so simple whenyou think about it, but we're so
confused because we're taughtto make money and we have to
make a living and our parentsmight've said you need to go
into this field because that'show you're going to make a
(29:08):
living, and so we get involvedin these activities that are
really against our nature andagainst our differences in our
talents, and that's what causesa ton of unhappiness and
friction.
And most of the work that I dowith women and men in their 40s,
50s, 60s, even 70s and 80s, Ifind, is they have a lack of
fulfillment and purpose becausethey're not celebrating their
(29:30):
gifts and talents every day.
And as soon as they start to doit just a little bit, even if
it's a side gig, their wholelife changes.
Even if it doesn't involvemaking money, it's like, oh my
God, they feel like they have,you know, purpose and meaning in
their life and that's huge.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
You said it so well.
I think that One of the thingsthat I see, you know, no one
goes under a deathbed and said Iwish I made more money or made
people feel less than more often, or what have you.
Most people say I wish I didbetter to serve my community or
be there for my kids or whatever, but it's always about being,
you know, there, reallyappreciate about you, and I'm
(30:16):
thinking you feel the same wayas I do.
I'm happy with my job becausewhen I'm on my deathbed, I will
have no regrets about helpingpeople and being present for the
people I love, and I think thatwhat happens as we grow older?
Yeah, you're a hedge fundmanager that makes $5 billion,
but are you happy?
And I think that what you talkabout like that can't be taught
in a book either.
This is not something that,like I'm so inspired by your
(30:38):
husband or your.
You know your late husband'sability to write a book, finish
it off with his friend.
You know how many peopleprobably tell them look,
concentrate on your death andnot on your book, and how many
people probably discourage it.
And I'm not trying to make itmorbid.
I hope you understand where I'mcoming from here.
It's like people will alwaystell you what you can't do,
(31:00):
people will always find ways tolimit you, but doing what you
inspire yourself, and you do itfor yourself, is so much more
important.
As I joked around previously onmy podcast, whether five people
listen to me and you, karen, or5 million people listen to me
and you, karen, or 5 millionpeople listen to it, if I
inspire one person or Kareninspires one person, we did our
(31:21):
job.
We did everything we could.
So for me, it's never aboutquantity, money or anything else
, but rather what you can bringto other people, and that's why
I'm so inspired by your latehusband obviously inspired by
you, but when you talk aboutyour late husband, it really
makes me inspired about what wecan do once we realize that we
don't need to bend to otherpeople's winds for lack of a
(31:43):
better word.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Well, you won't even believe I'm only smiling over
here because you won't believe.
The title of this book it'sit's called Can't, doesn't Exist
.
And that's exactly.
I swear to God, no, no, andthat's exactly I did not.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I swear to God, did not.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
No, I know, I know that's why I was laughing,
because I didn't even say thetitle and you know it took.
I mean he was fighting.
You know he was fighting tillthe very end and there was when
he lost the right side of hisbody, wasn't working and so he
had a photographic memory.
I mean this guy was brilliant.
(32:16):
He had very little schoolingand was brilliant and just took
certain classes to educatehimself in terms of what he
wanted to do, never studied,aced, all the tests.
I recently talked to a teacherof his that called me out of
nowhere.
I had no idea and I had thisgreat conversation and he was
talking about him.
It was amazing and he so.
(32:39):
When he lost his ability to readand his speech was not great
and his ability to type, he, hefelt like he had nothing else to
live for, I mean because hecouldn't do right those things
that he was so good at, and helanded face planted in bed.
I remember he just did a faceplant and he just I remember the
scene so vividly he just keptsaying I can't do anything, I
(33:02):
can't do anything and I, likerose up with I swear to God, the
divine power of self-beliefthat was transferred from him in
me and I just said yes, you can.
You wrote an entire book andyou don't need to write it, it's
already there, you just needsomeone to publish it and get it
out there.
And that very day he wasinspired.
(33:25):
This is a great way to.
I know we're probably close tothe end of the podcast.
We're talking so much, but thisis a great ending because, my
God, he was inspired by what Isaid and that moment he took
action because he could.
He reached out to his personaltrainer, who had published a
book of his own and he was.
You know.
(33:45):
He knew that he had publishedhis self, published his own book
and written a book or two.
He called him and said hedidn't even ask him to do it.
He was just asking him hey, Iknow you know a lot about this
and I have this't even ask himto do it.
He was just asking him hey, Iknow you know a lot about this
and I have this book and I wantto get it out there.
Do you have any recommendationsof who I could maybe have?
You know, a ghostwriter or apublicist?
Or he said dude, I'll do itwith you, it'd be my pleasure.
(34:07):
And the two of them.
This was the end of my husband'slife was on purpose and in
purpose and inspired.
We would sit at my dining roomtable, all of us, and he would
do sort of a Josh would do aninterview.
That was the co-author and hewould interview, but I would
also be in there too because Iwas making food or eating
(34:27):
whatever, and he would interviewme too a little bit, and that's
how the book was made and Davidgot to see it published.
He got to see that his book gotout there, which meant the book
was made, and David got to seeit published.
He got to see that his book gotout there, which meant the
world to him and I think was oneof the reasons he was able to
let go, because he knew I wasgonna be okay.
He saw that I succeeded and heknew that his legacy would be
(34:49):
carried through me in that bookand, of course, his family and
friends.
But that was man to watch allthat.
That's why I say, even though,yes, I lost his presence
physically, it's like I gainedso much from his six years with
me, from this experience I wouldhave.
I just can't imagine where Iwould be without him or without
(35:13):
going through all of that, andthat's why I really don't feel
like a victim at all.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
I mean victim sometimes is just in our mind,
right, and I know there's apejorative term around victim
and sometimes we are victims,but most of the time if it's a
self-imposed label it's worse.
So I don't want to take awayfor those who think they were a
victim.
I'm just saying that sometimeswhen we self-impose it, it's
worse.
I know we got to wrap up, but Iwant people to be able to reach
(35:41):
you and the other thing thatI'm going to I'll cut it off the
podcast if you wish.
I need to have your book up.
I don't have a problem payingfor it, but you need to sign it
for me.
I need to read it, obviously,because I'm really interested,
but I know you're much more thana book, much more than a yoga.
I don't know what title youhave.
(36:04):
I'll say teacher for now.
But like, tell me how peoplecan reach you.
What are you working on, stufflike that, so you can maybe
hopefully inspire other people?
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Absolutely, and I would be happy to sign a book
for you and I yes, I wrote thePower of Self-Belief and it is.
It is my baby.
That is my baby.
It has all of these beautifulteachings and lessons, but
combined with the story of Davidand I meeting, it's like from
that starting point of I had allthis self-development and all
(36:31):
these teachings, but I didn'thave the power of self-belief,
and that took having a humanbeing who had that, like you
said, like I had to live with it, I had to be around it, I had
to see it and then, when I wasdeeply challenged, you know, the
worst thing that could everhappen that was what triggered
the inspiration to believe inmyself.
(36:53):
And then, after he died, and Imade that choice.
But I had that living exampleand so I share the story.
There's pictures of us so thatyou really get the visual of our
life and what happened, and soI think it's really quite
beautiful and powerful read.
So that's on Amazon.
(37:13):
If you Google it, you can findit other places Barnes and
Nobles, it's in stores and stuff.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
I'll make sure to link it in our show notes too.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Perfect.
So I call myself a spiritualescort.
I take people I know that'swhat I thought about the other
day.
I'm like I don't know how todescribe myself except for
taking people to the highestplace that they can go their
highest potential and I holdtheir hand.
It's a very intimate process.
I only work with one or twoclients at a time to do that.
(37:43):
So I've made room to make agreater impact and I have
launched with my team.
My beautiful mentors havebecome a team with me and we're
launching.
It's called Youthful LongevityMastermind and it's really for
people who are in their midlifetransitions, with everything
(38:03):
from maybe being a widow ordivorced or possibly going
through feeling health issues orsigns of aging, et cetera.
There's lots of transitions.
So this is designed to give youimmense support for your
highest health and for yourquality of life each and every
day, including that joy and thatfulfillment and purpose, and to
(38:26):
have the community, theproximity to the health, the
highest health examples as wellto be around that, because what
we've noticed is that's been thegreatest support and
transformation is the communityof the high vibration, and so
we're giving that in a new,beautiful way together.
So we're launching it actuallythis week and if you want to
(38:48):
check it out, you can and seeour free masterclass.
You can go towwwyouthfullongevitycom.
So that's pretty simple and youcan watch the masterclass and
we'd love to to hear from youthat way.
But you can check out my mysite, karenpaschalcom.
I know you'll share the linkand get in touch with me that
(39:09):
way as well.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
And Karen spelled with a C for the record.
Just want to make sure peopleknow that.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Yes, I'm not the Karen that everyone talks about.
You know, with the K.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
You're such a Karen, but I think that walking people
through those journey and thatspiritual journey is, you know,
to me it's such an importantthing and I know, while I work
with first responders and I talkabout trauma and I'm a quote
professional that highervibration and that stuff means
(39:43):
the world to me, because I thinkthat if you think that life is
only what you can see, thenyou're really not paying
attention.
So thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Thank you so much for allowing me to share and be
here with you.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Well, thank you so much, and I hope that our paths
cross more than this podcast.
Truthfully, I truly enjoyed ourtalk and this will be a joke
between us, no one else will getit but so happy you found a
hotspot.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Well, this concludes episode 199, and we're saying
goodbye to finding your way, orfinding your way through therapy
.
Thank you for all those whosupported that podcast.
It's still very relevant, butas of next week, we're going
with the full rebrand and that'sresilience, development and
action.
So I hope you join me then.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Please like, subscribe and follow this
podcast on your favoriteplatform in action, so I hope
you join me then out to aprofessional counselor for
consultation.
If you are in a mental healthcrisis, call 988 for assistance.
(40:56):
This number is available in theUnited States and Canada.
Hi and welcome to Finding your Way Through Therapy
.
A proud member of thePsychCraft Network, the goal of
this podcast is to demystifytherapy, what can happen in
therapy and the wide array ofconversations you can have in
and about therapy Throughpersonal experiences.
Guests will talk about therapy,their experiences with it and
(00:24):
how psychology and therapy arepresent in many places in their
lives, with lots of authenticityand a touch of humor.
Here is your host, steve Bisson.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Alors?
C'est le dernier épisode avantla relance.
This is the last episode beforethe relaunch.
La Relance this is the lastepisode before the relaunch.
My name is Steve Biso and thisis Finding your Way Resilience,
development and Action.
If you haven't listened toepisode 198, it's just me
meandering thoughts, and I hopeyou go back and listen to those,
because they're not justmeandering.
There's a lot of good stuff inthere.
(00:58):
But for episode 199, we'regoing to meet with Karen Paschal
.
Karen Paschal is someone whohas had her own share of loss in
her life and I'm sure she'sgoing to talk about that.
She's exploring resilience andempathy and grief for mental
health awareness duringchallenging times.
She is someone that has a bookout.
She has her own story thatshe'd like to share a
(01:20):
transformative journey, actuallyand she wants to be able to
share her own journey and how itcould help others.
So I hope you enjoyed it.
Here's the interview.
Getfreeai yes, you've heard metalk about it previously in
other episodes, but I'm going totalk about it again because
(01:42):
GetFreeai is just a greatservice.
Imagine being able to payattention to your clients all
the time instead of writingnotes and making sure that the
note's going to sound good andhow you're going to write that
note and things like that.
Getfreeai liberates you frommaking sure that you're writing
what the client is saying,because it is keeping track of
(02:04):
what you're saying and willcreate, after the end of every
session, a progress note.
But it goes above and beyondthat.
Not only does it create aprogress note, it also gives you
suggestions for goals, givesyou even a mental status if
you've asked questions aroundthat, as well as being able to
write a letter for your clientto know what you talked about.
So that's the great, greatthing.
(02:26):
It saves me time, it saves me alot of aggravation and it just
speeds up the progress noteprocess so well.
And for $99 a month.
I know that that's nothing.
That's worth my time, that'sworth my money, you know.
The best part of it too is thatif you want to go and put in
(02:46):
the code Steve50 when you getthe service at the checkout code
is Steve50, you get $50 offyour first month and if you get
a whole year, you save a whole10% for the whole year.
So again, steve50 at checkoutfor getfreeai'll give you $50
off for the first month and,like I said, get a full year,
(03:08):
get 10% off.
Get free from writing notes,get free from always scribbling
while you're talking to a clientand just paying attention to
your client.
So they went out, you went out,everybody wins and I think that
this is the greatest thing.
And if you're up to a pointwhere you got to change a
treatment plan, well, the goalsare generated for you.
So getfreeai code Steve50 tosave $50 on your first month.
(03:37):
Well, hi everyone and welcome toepisode 199.
You know you get in touch withpeople through email in my job a
lot and I got to say that I getnot a word of a lie.
I get about five to six emailsa week for guests and most of
the time I read it for half asecond and go, yeah, not a fit.
And then I got Karen Paschal'sthing and I was just, I was
(04:01):
reading it and reading it I'mlike, okay, since I've already
read till the bottom, includingher bio, I'm interested.
And then I went to her websiteand I'm like I got to meet this
woman.
There's a story here that Ithink everyone will enjoy
hearing on finding your way,resilience, development and
action.
So, karen Paschal, welcome tomy podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Thank you, Steve, so much.
That was a nice introduction.
I'm grateful to be here.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Well, you know pre-interview we just had this
conversation.
Anyone who knows me and I thinkthat's going to be something
you're going to echo about youis that I can't lie.
So if I didn't feel thesethings, I couldn't tell you
these things.
I would be like, all right andwelcome Karen for finding your
way, and that's all I would havesaid.
I always talk aboutauthenticity and that's even in
(04:45):
our short conversation beforethis.
Our exchange on email is reallystruck me as you're very
authentic, so I really wantpeople to hear that and see that
, so usually just want to look.
You know, I've started to knowyou, obviously with the stuff
I've looked at, but my audiencemay not know you, so I like you
to introduce yourself to myaudience my audience may not
(05:06):
know you, so I'd like you tointroduce yourself to my
audience.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Hello everybody, I'm Karen Paschal and I'm just
grateful.
Really, what we were talkingabout before is to show up in my
glory and share my story, andthat is how I roll, that is how
I live, that is how I educate,that is how I contribute to the
world, and my greatest gift, Ibelieve, is this desire to
develop myself and improve onmyself, and that is my purpose.
(05:32):
I know it's my purpose to be inmy highest vibration and to
live in the celebration that Ican achieve this state of
self-actualization.
And so that's the path I'vebeen on for quite a while and
I've always been seeking that.
(05:53):
And I didn't know that it wasan inward journey until I took a
yoga class at 16, when I washaving panic and anxiety in
school, and that was the firstdeeper connection I ever made to
myself, that I thought what isthis?
And now I know it was aspiritual connection and it was
(06:14):
different from all the otherconnections that I had made so
far, I guess, in life that werepretty external, based on the
external.
So this was internal and Iwanted more of it.
I wanted more of it.
So I really have a long pastand relationship now with yoga
(06:36):
being such a healthy path for mein my forward movement in my
life.
I went to art school, my forwardmovement in my life.
I went to art school but Iinvolved art and yoga together.
I ended up teaching even beforeI got certified.
It was very natural for me totalk about life and
transformation and everything.
(06:57):
It was very therapeutic.
That was for me so therapeuticto hear what the teacher was
saying about life as I wasmoving and breathing.
So I was able to emulate thatat quite a young age without any
training.
So I knew it was natural for meand I enjoyed it.
Plus, I could also make somemoney on the side while I was in
(07:19):
school.
So I kept on the path.
But I had a lot of mental healthissues.
I mean, I was in a veryunhealthy relationship and had
an unhealthy relationship withmen, with food, with my body.
I had a lot of depression,sleep disorders and because of
all this mental stuff Ideveloped physical issues as
(07:39):
well and inflammation at a youngage and fatigue and I was on
countless medications.
So yoga was seriously mylifeline and I did go through a
lot of therapy as well.
So just talking about what Iwas going through and having
that soundboard was really,really, really vital for me,
especially because it wassomeone different than a family
(08:01):
member.
So there was, you know, no, nobias in judgment.
Different than a family member?
So there was, you know, no, nobias in judgment.
I felt safe, right.
That was the biggest thing.
And you know, through all ofthis, I just stayed on the path
of self-development and I Iended up really just starting to
study more of the universalvalues of life and the
philosophy versus the yoga poses, the physical stuff.
(08:23):
And that's where things took areal big turn for me, like all
that education for life thatwasn't in my regular schooling
and I thought why doesn'teveryone have this?
This is like the roadmap to howto be a human being in the
world and to evolve.
It just made no sense that itwas so sensible.
(08:44):
Why isn't this taught?
So that became my mission.
I got it, I got to teach thisand it really became my highest
desire to a better way that Icould contribute and educate and
lead, and all during the sametime is when I became in my most
impactful relationship with mylate husband, and you know, he
(09:18):
was the epitome of the power ofself-belief, and even though I
had grown so much and evolved, Istill had a lot of physical and
mental issues.
I was struggling with my healthand and I stayed small I really
wasn't showing up in the bigway that I am now and he was,
and so I needed that mirror inmy life.
(09:39):
But unfortunately he becamevery ill very young age.
He was 12 years younger than me, so he was diagnosed with brain
cancer at 28.
We were just one year marriedand it was a total shock through
our worlds upside down.
Our businesses were affected,our families, everything we had
to reevaluate.
(10:00):
But it created the biggest lifeshift for me to become a
caregiver, to be of service inthat way, to navigate life and
take care of him in that way,and whatever came our way, I
(10:27):
lost the greatest thing in mylife that I had.
And how do I continue on?
Well, I used his power ofself-belief and I'm living for
him and that's my legacy, and Iwrote a book called the Power of
Self-Belief.
So that's sort of my story.
I'm sure there's a lot more inthere, but you'll ask me the
(10:47):
right questions.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I'm not asking your right questions.
I mean, there's like 12questions that came to mind.
More importantly, sorry foryour loss.
Thank you.
That's always difficult.
You know I was listening toyour Maslow hierarchy of needs
and yoga.
You know I do yoga notregularly, but I do definitely
do yoga and if it wasn't fordownward dog, I would do it more
(11:13):
regularly.
I'll be perfectly honest withyou, people like that's the
easiest one to like.
For some of you, some of us whodon't have any flexibility,
sucks especially for men.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
It's usually the hardest because you're actually
carrying the more muscle and andthe like you have less
flexibility.
So down dog is kind oftorturesome for a lot of men.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
You're so nice thinking I have muscle.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
You, you have more muscle mass, I'm sure, Even even
if you think you don't.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I know I'm just trying to be funny here, but no,
and I, and I think that whatone of the things that you
didn't say in so many words andI'd like you to continue talking
about that is you know?
You said you know why aren'tthey teaching that in school?
I've learned in my life thatwhat I learned in my master's
means nothing unless I practicedifferent ways of learning it.
Hierarchy of needs of Maslow isone thing.
(11:58):
Knowing how to implement that,know where people are at, how to
implement that, that can betaught in people's words.
It can't be like that stuff.
I lost my best friend when I was12 in a fire.
You can't teach what grief isuntil you live grief and I don't
know what it is to lose apartner and I'm going to knock
on wood because I don't want tolose my partner in my life.
(12:20):
I can't teach that to people.
I can't know how you feel.
And once you realize, the mostlessons in life are never going
to be taught in a book and youcan't read about it.
You can learn from them, butyou're not going to, it's not
going to be.
You can't know it until youlive.
It is what I heard you say forthe most part, and when I I ran
for about seven years or eightyears and I never got that
(12:43):
runner's high, everyone talkedabout it.
I never got it and I ran halfmarathons.
I only did two half marathons.
I'm lazy, never did a full one.
But the point is is that when Idid yoga, I got the spiritual
breathing and I got to andthere's and I can't teach that
and I can't tell people aboutthat because it is to me
(13:04):
learning to breathe in that wayis easier than breathing while
I'm talking to you.
I don't know why, but that'show it is for me.
So I don't know what you wantto expand on, but that's really
what I found in what you weresaying is very impactful, among
many other things, because goingto therapy so important.
You learn so much aboutyourself and that third party
(13:24):
God, you know that's soimportant, but I don't know
where you want to go with allthis.
But I want to throw out myobservations and maybe we can
continue talking.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Yeah, thank you, I appreciate it.
So I think that what helped methe most from reading the
highest knowledge known tomankind, which come from the
Vedas and Vedas just meansknowledge and it was presented
in such a practical way.
They were values to live by,and I believe that for me they
(13:58):
were a preventative meaning.
They helped to prepare me forall that came my way and I think
that is something we can do iswe can prepare ourselves for
life's eventualities.
But I do believe that, yes, youcan explain all you can explain
and teach all you can teachabout how to navigate, let's say
(14:22):
, losing a loved one or goingthrough that, but until you
really go through it, it's, itis.
You do learn through thatexperience to prepare people,
(14:42):
because if you are alive and youremain alive and you continue
your life, there's going to bechallenges.
No matter who you are and whereyou are, no matter how many
people you have in your life,how much money you have, there
will be these pairs of oppositesthat we will come to face.
There will be things thathappen to you that you may not
be that think would ever happenor imagine.
I didn't imagine this couldever happen.
(15:02):
So, although I'm not saying youshould imagine all these bad
things might happen that's apessimist but reminding
ourselves that we're human andthat life is full of challenge
and change every day and to beready for that.
That's where I think the valuesto live by and the yoga and the
(15:24):
self-development and all thethings I did and continue to do.
They allow me to lean in andfind the blessings.
It's like I don't feel anymorethat I really lost anything.
In fact, I don't even relate tothat word.
It just isn't even myvocabulary, because I look for
the blessings in everything andbecause my husband was such a
(15:47):
blessing for the time I was with.
That's what I focus on.
I focus on what I gained fromhim, even though he's not here,
and so it doesn't feel like aloss anymore.
It really did.
In the beginning, I will tellyou, it really felt like a huge
loss, but I feel so full, likehe gave me so much and I
continue to focus on thoseblessings and that gratitude
(16:10):
fills me up so much every day.
And then, in fact, that's oneof the values is just gratitude,
and until I really learned topractice that full heartedly and
to understand what that reallymeant not just making a
gratitude journal and listingsome things off.
It's like a feeling and anacute awareness of the countless
(16:32):
blessings that are occurringright now, in this given moment,
and so, when I'm tuned intothat, it lifts me to such a high
frequency that nothing disturbsme, so it's very hard for me to
get disturbed at this point.
Yes, little things like ah,that's like annoying, but not to
(16:54):
like deeply, deeply, disturb myinner peace.
This took a long, long time,though, to get to this place, so
that's kind of what I sharewith people is that this is a
lifelong progression and you'renot just a work in progress.
You know, it actually takeswork to progress and you have to
(17:16):
choose to work on yourself, andyeah, so that's, that's where I
am.
The conversation, that's whatcame up.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Well, so basically for me, you're saying that my
progress and growth in life isnot going to come from a podcast
.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Well, it could.
You know, you could be inspiredfrom, you know, learning here
and that could.
That could really spark thegrowth.
But when it's what you do withit, it's what you do with it
that matters, right?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
So if you're inspired , I was trying to lead you to
yeah, you gotta I.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You know it's very hard the the my position,
because I remember my dadtelling me like he was trying to
explain to someone what I doRight, and he said you know it's
, it's not tangible.
What you do Like you, you can'treally what is tangible about.
About saying transformation andhappiness and growth.
(18:14):
It's, it's very hard to sellthat, but that's why I have to
grow myself.
If I'm not doing it, thenyou're not going to believe me.
But if I say, hey, I've createdthis kind of life and this kind
of resilience and thriving fromall the things that have
happened, so can you?
(18:34):
Because I don't think I'mspecial, I think I'm unique and
everybody's unique.
So if I can do it, you can doit, but I can't do it for you.
That's the thing.
And so the bingo yes, the personwho is even in therapy.
We know all this.
It's like you could have thebest therapist in the world, but
if you're not going to taketheir words and really let them
(18:55):
sink in and go apply, thenyou're going to be sitting in
the same seat and listening tothe same.
You know feedback for the restof your life.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Right, and I think that you know I went to one of
my first yoga studios and Idon't know why I walked into
this group because they were allfor lack of a better word
experienced and I was.
You know, I did it at home, butI never did it in the studio
with other people and all Icould do in my head as I was
(19:26):
stuck in this thing that as atherapist I know, but as a human
I don't always practice thisI'm comparing myself to everyone
in the room and then at onepoint I got up and left and one
of the other people walked outand followed me out and they
said I know and I've been there.
She didn't even know me.
She just said I know and I'vebeen there, don't compare
(19:47):
yourself to others, you're doingfantastic.
I'm not even looking at you,but I know you're doing
fantastic because you showed upand to me that was most like.
It wasn't like yeah, you're thebest yoga person in the world or
whatever.
She just took away all thestress that I had about
comparisons and I didn't knowthis woman and I've never seen
her again, for the record, andshe has no clue.
(20:08):
She gave me that gift, but itwas me growing into.
Oh, practice what you preach.
Also, don't compare yourself toothers.
You're a progress and yoga isalways about progress.
Even yoga masters will tell youI'm still progressing.
And so I started reading, andreading, and reading and now
suddenly that 30 secondinteraction at best grew me, and
(20:30):
that's why I think one of thethings I wish you know this was
what I thought you were sayingis that it's not one thing
that's going to change you.
There's like, yeah, there's ahamoments, but if you don't do
nothing with your aha moment, itdoesn't really matter.
And I know I'm talking abouttherapy here, but I know you're
talking about life in general.
It's not about, oh look, I knowthe Maslow hierarchy of needs,
(20:51):
but self-actualization is reallyfreaking hard.
Yeah, and getting there isgoing to be work.
And I think that, unfortunately,I think a lot of people are
looking for that magic pillthat's going to make them feel
better, lose weight, look good,be attractive to other people or
whatever, and that's not life.
Life is growing on other parts.
So I don't know if I'mresonating your message in a
(21:13):
different light, but I wanted tokind of like give you my
feedback as to what you said,because it's absolutely true,
it's not about one moment, it'sabout thinking that moment and
growing it so you can be better.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Absolutely, and I love that you said that about
your yoga teacher, because Ialways said that and I see,
continue to say it in my classesand in all my programs, like
and I have this app.
It's called Marco Polo and Ihave these, I have group
community group programs on itand what it is is it's off
(21:46):
social media, so there's no adsand you can communicate through
videos.
And when I first introducedthis to my group and my program,
I was so excited about becauseeveryone who was in my program
all wanted to make a greaterimpact in the world.
They all wanted to growprogress.
They all wanted to just be outthere and be visible.
(22:11):
And yet they had so muchresistance to this app.
They didn't want to show up andthey didn't want to see
themselves and they were, allyou know, pointing out their
flaws and, oh, I don't like howI look and all of these things.
And I'm like this is exactlywhy we have this, because this
is your starting place for beingvisible and self-love also and
(22:35):
being seen.
And I said just show up.
That's all I kept saying andthat's what resonated when you
were saying that Cause yes, I'vesaid it on my mat, I'm the mat
a million times to all my youknow groups in yoga, but even in
transformation.
I say it to people who you wouldnever believe need this message
.
You would think you know I meanthey're.
They're in corporate andthey're running these big things
(22:57):
and yet on a silly app showingtheir video within a safe space
and only our group.
There's such resistance andthey're having such a hard time.
They're self-loathing andself-doubt and insecurity.
And all of this came to thesurface and I said can you
imagine you're trying to go outthere and become a
transformational coach now andyou can't show up for yourself
(23:17):
in this and feel good in thisgroup?
So there's a lot to work at.
And it really exposed all of usand showing up for yourself and
people kept saying well, I haveto listen.
There's, I feel burdenedbecause there's six different
videos and I have to watch them.
I said who said you had towatch them?
I'm the facilitator, I have towatch them.
That's my job.
I'm just asking you for you toshow up for yourself and share
(23:39):
your story, just whatever it isLike.
We talked about that authenticself and it was so hard for
everyone and, slowly but surely,it took so much time and
practice, to gain that trust inthemselves, to believe in
themselves, to show up forthemselves.
And now my Marco Polo groupsare just exploding and it's
(24:01):
amazing how much you know that,like you said, how much growth
can come from.
Don't compare, because a lot ofpeople did that.
Well, this person's here andthat person's there and it's
like do not compare.
This is a nonjudgmental place,you know.
I had to say all the thingsover and over and over again to
help people feel like they areenough, they are worthy, and as
(24:24):
soon as they started to believethat and show up in the space,
then they were able to go outand be better leaders.
They were able to quit theirjobs, leave relationships and do
all the things that they weretrying to do before but couldn't
, and also go on social mediaand speak, you know, live,
because they want to get aclient and they want to be a
(24:44):
coach and all these things.
So that's what really resonatedfor me.
And, yeah, it's always aboutinspired.
Action is what I want to say,too, to what you said.
Where it's?
I don't tell people what to do,right?
I say wait for an inspirationand I looked this word up, you
know, inspired, and it comesfrom this root word, ethos.
(25:09):
It means enthusiasm.
Ethos is the root word, whichmeans inspired by God, and I
thought that was so amazing.
I'm like, okay, what if youjust waited and not really
waited, but instead of justdoing things, to do them, be
inspired from that divinefeeling from within, and that's
(25:31):
a different kind of action.
That's the kind of action thatreally changes you and makes a
greater impact.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So many things that you just said mean so much to me
.
Thank you for being that yogateacher.
By the way, growth from yoga isspectacular and I know that's
not a manly thing to say, but Ifrankly don't care.
Number one.
Number two I've worked with alot of people who are and I hate
(25:58):
these words, I hate buzzwordsbut the C-suite people and to me
, the comparison and theimposter syndrome that they live
through is absolutelyflabbergasting.
In my experience anyway, and oneof the things that I've been
known to say in my sessions andwith other people is comparison
is a thief of joy, and wheneveryou compare, karen's got
(26:21):
something I don't and I probablyhave something that Karen
doesn't.
That doesn't mean Karen or meare better than each other,
we're just different.
But when you start comparing,you're always going to try to
like well, I should have hair.
Sorry, I just got to go for theeasy part for those on YouTube
Go has wonderful hair and I bald, in case you didn't know.
But that doesn't make youbetter or worse than me, makes
(26:42):
you different, and I think thatthat's the other part too.
When I talk about you, talkabout inspiration.
If we were all the same, itwould be freaking boring, yeah,
and it's a learning to bedifferent and being okay with
our differences.
Celebrate them Right and Ithink that that's what I'm
hearing you say too because ifyou celebrate your differences
and you make those efforts inorder to go deeper and deeper in
(27:02):
development, you're going to beable to share that gift.
There will no longer besomething to be compared or
monetized, but rather beyourself.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Absolutely.
That's huge.
So big part of transformationand the work that I do with
community and clients is allabout celebrating them and every
part of them, where we're atright now and where we've been
and where we're going, and alsothose differences and the
(27:31):
talents that we each have.
So I really try to help peopleto see that the way that they're
different is actually gravis.
It's an autoimmune disease andso it's got some debilitating
(28:03):
effects and people lose a lot oftheir abilities very similar to
the decline my husband had withbrain cancer.
And I remember telling myhusband you are still you, no
matter what you can do, and thatis enough.
And there's always somethingyou can do and that is enough.
And there's always somethingyou can do and focus on that.
And because I gave him thattalk, he was able to write a
(28:25):
book before.
Well, he wrote a book.
He was able to get it out therebefore he died and he reached
out to a friend to help himfinish it because he couldn't
write on his own.
And so I remind people that yourdifferences and even how you
change over life, those are tobe celebrated.
You can actually, you know,give from that place.
(28:47):
That is your mission to to beand give who you are in the
world.
It's actually so simple whenyou think about it, but we're so
confused because we're taughtto make money and we have to
make a living and our parentsmight've said you need to go
into this field because that'show you're going to make a
(29:08):
living, and so we get involvedin these activities that are
really against our nature andagainst our differences in our
talents, and that's what causesa ton of unhappiness and
friction.
And most of the work that I dowith women and men in their 40s,
50s, 60s, even 70s and 80s, Ifind, is they have a lack of
fulfillment and purpose becausethey're not celebrating their
(29:30):
gifts and talents every day.
And as soon as they start to doit just a little bit, even if
it's a side gig, their wholelife changes.
Even if it doesn't involvemaking money, it's like, oh my
God, they feel like they have,you know, purpose and meaning in
their life and that's huge.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
You said it so well.
I think that One of the thingsthat I see, you know, no one
goes under a deathbed and said Iwish I made more money or made
people feel less than more often, or what have you.
Most people say I wish I didbetter to serve my community or
be there for my kids or whatever, but it's always about being,
you know, there, reallyappreciate about you, and I'm
(30:16):
thinking you feel the same wayas I do.
I'm happy with my job becausewhen I'm on my deathbed, I will
have no regrets about helpingpeople and being present for the
people I love, and I think thatwhat happens as we grow older?
Yeah, you're a hedge fundmanager that makes $5 billion,
but are you happy?
And I think that what you talkabout like that can't be taught
in a book either.
This is not something that,like I'm so inspired by your
(30:38):
husband or your.
You know your late husband'sability to write a book, finish
it off with his friend.
You know how many peopleprobably tell them look,
concentrate on your death andnot on your book, and how many
people probably discourage it.
And I'm not trying to make itmorbid.
I hope you understand where I'mcoming from here.
It's like people will alwaystell you what you can't do,
(31:00):
people will always find ways tolimit you, but doing what you
inspire yourself, and you do itfor yourself, is so much more
important.
As I joked around previously onmy podcast, whether five people
listen to me and you, karen, or5 million people listen to me
and you, karen, or 5 millionpeople listen to it, if I
inspire one person or Kareninspires one person, we did our
(31:21):
job.
We did everything we could.
So for me, it's never aboutquantity, money or anything else
, but rather what you can bringto other people, and that's why
I'm so inspired by your latehusband obviously inspired by
you, but when you talk aboutyour late husband, it really
makes me inspired about what wecan do once we realize that we
don't need to bend to otherpeople's winds for lack of a
(31:43):
better word.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Well, you won't even believe I'm only smiling over
here because you won't believe.
The title of this book it'sit's called Can't, doesn't Exist
.
And that's exactly.
I swear to God, no, no, andthat's exactly I did not.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I swear to God, did not.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
No, I know, I know that's why I was laughing,
because I didn't even say thetitle and you know it took.
I mean he was fighting.
You know he was fighting tillthe very end and there was when
he lost the right side of hisbody, wasn't working and so he
had a photographic memory.
I mean this guy was brilliant.
(32:16):
He had very little schoolingand was brilliant and just took
certain classes to educatehimself in terms of what he
wanted to do, never studied,aced, all the tests.
I recently talked to a teacherof his that called me out of
nowhere.
I had no idea and I had thisgreat conversation and he was
talking about him.
It was amazing and he so.
(32:39):
When he lost his ability to readand his speech was not great
and his ability to type, he, hefelt like he had nothing else to
live for, I mean because hecouldn't do right those things
that he was so good at, and helanded face planted in bed.
I remember he just did a faceplant and he just I remember the
scene so vividly he just keptsaying I can't do anything, I
(33:02):
can't do anything and I, likerose up with I swear to God, the
divine power of self-beliefthat was transferred from him in
me and I just said yes, you can.
You wrote an entire book andyou don't need to write it, it's
already there, you just needsomeone to publish it and get it
out there.
And that very day he wasinspired.
(33:25):
This is a great way to.
I know we're probably close tothe end of the podcast.
We're talking so much, but thisis a great ending because, my
God, he was inspired by what Isaid and that moment he took
action because he could.
He reached out to his personaltrainer, who had published a
book of his own and he was.
You know.
(33:45):
He knew that he had publishedhis self, published his own book
and written a book or two.
He called him and said hedidn't even ask him to do it.
He was just asking him hey, Iknow you know a lot about this
and I have this't even ask himto do it.
He was just asking him hey, Iknow you know a lot about this
and I have this book and I wantto get it out there.
Do you have any recommendationsof who I could maybe have?
You know, a ghostwriter or apublicist?
Or he said dude, I'll do itwith you, it'd be my pleasure.
(34:07):
And the two of them.
This was the end of my husband'slife was on purpose and in
purpose and inspired.
We would sit at my dining roomtable, all of us, and he would
do sort of a Josh would do aninterview.
That was the co-author and hewould interview, but I would
also be in there too because Iwas making food or eating
(34:27):
whatever, and he would interviewme too a little bit, and that's
how the book was made and Davidgot to see it published.
He got to see that his book gotout there, which meant the book
was made, and David got to seeit published.
He got to see that his book gotout there, which meant the
world to him and I think was oneof the reasons he was able to
let go, because he knew I wasgonna be okay.
He saw that I succeeded and heknew that his legacy would be
(34:49):
carried through me in that bookand, of course, his family and
friends.
But that was man to watch allthat.
That's why I say, even though,yes, I lost his presence
physically, it's like I gainedso much from his six years with
me, from this experience I wouldhave.
I just can't imagine where Iwould be without him or without
(35:13):
going through all of that, andthat's why I really don't feel
like a victim at all.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
I mean victim sometimes is just in our mind,
right, and I know there's apejorative term around victim
and sometimes we are victims,but most of the time if it's a
self-imposed label it's worse.
So I don't want to take awayfor those who think they were a
victim.
I'm just saying that sometimeswhen we self-impose it, it's
worse.
I know we got to wrap up, but Iwant people to be able to reach
(35:41):
you and the other thing thatI'm going to I'll cut it off the
podcast if you wish.
I need to have your book up.
I don't have a problem payingfor it, but you need to sign it
for me.
I need to read it, obviously,because I'm really interested,
but I know you're much more thana book, much more than a yoga.
I don't know what title youhave.
(36:04):
I'll say teacher for now.
But like, tell me how peoplecan reach you.
What are you working on, stufflike that, so you can maybe
hopefully inspire other people?
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Absolutely, and I would be happy to sign a book
for you and I yes, I wrote thePower of Self-Belief and it is.
It is my baby.
That is my baby.
It has all of these beautifulteachings and lessons, but
combined with the story of Davidand I meeting, it's like from
that starting point of I had allthis self-development and all
(36:31):
these teachings, but I didn'thave the power of self-belief,
and that took having a humanbeing who had that, like you
said, like I had to live with it, I had to be around it, I had
to see it and then, when I wasdeeply challenged, you know, the
worst thing that could everhappen that was what triggered
the inspiration to believe inmyself.
(36:53):
And then, after he died, and Imade that choice.
But I had that living exampleand so I share the story.
There's pictures of us so thatyou really get the visual of our
life and what happened, and soI think it's really quite
beautiful and powerful read.
So that's on Amazon.
(37:13):
If you Google it, you can findit other places Barnes and
Nobles, it's in stores and stuff.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
I'll make sure to link it in our show notes too.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Perfect.
So I call myself a spiritualescort.
I take people I know that'swhat I thought about the other
day.
I'm like I don't know how todescribe myself except for
taking people to the highestplace that they can go their
highest potential and I holdtheir hand.
It's a very intimate process.
I only work with one or twoclients at a time to do that.
(37:43):
So I've made room to make agreater impact and I have
launched with my team.
My beautiful mentors havebecome a team with me and we're
launching.
It's called Youthful LongevityMastermind and it's really for
people who are in their midlifetransitions, with everything
(38:03):
from maybe being a widow ordivorced or possibly going
through feeling health issues orsigns of aging, et cetera.
There's lots of transitions.
So this is designed to give youimmense support for your
highest health and for yourquality of life each and every
day, including that joy and thatfulfillment and purpose, and to
(38:26):
have the community, theproximity to the health, the
highest health examples as wellto be around that, because what
we've noticed is that's been thegreatest support and
transformation is the communityof the high vibration, and so
we're giving that in a new,beautiful way together.
So we're launching it actuallythis week and if you want to
(38:48):
check it out, you can and seeour free masterclass.
You can go towwwyouthfullongevitycom.
So that's pretty simple and youcan watch the masterclass and
we'd love to to hear from youthat way.
But you can check out my mysite, karenpaschalcom.
I know you'll share the linkand get in touch with me that
(39:09):
way as well.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
And Karen spelled with a C for the record.
Just want to make sure peopleknow that.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Yes, I'm not the Karen that everyone talks about.
You know, with the K.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
You're such a Karen, but I think that walking people
through those journey and thatspiritual journey is, you know,
to me it's such an importantthing and I know, while I work
with first responders and I talkabout trauma and I'm a quote
professional that highervibration and that stuff means
(39:43):
the world to me, because I thinkthat if you think that life is
only what you can see, thenyou're really not paying
attention.
So thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Thank you so much for allowing me to share and be
here with you.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Well, thank you so much, and I hope that our paths
cross more than this podcast.
Truthfully, I truly enjoyed ourtalk and this will be a joke
between us, no one else will getit but so happy you found a
hotspot.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Well, this concludes episode 199, and we're saying
goodbye to finding your way, orfinding your way through therapy
.
Thank you for all those whosupported that podcast.
It's still very relevant, butas of next week, we're going
with the full rebrand and that'sresilience, development and
action.
So I hope you join me then.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Please like, subscribe and follow this
podcast on your favoriteplatform in action, so I hope
you join me then out to aprofessional counselor for
consultation.
If you are in a mental healthcrisis, call 988 for assistance.
(40:56):
This number is available in theUnited States and Canada.
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