July 16, 2025 • 20 mins
Turning fifty isn't just about crossing an age threshold—it's about recognizing the human connections that build resilience throughout a lifetime. In this deeply personal episode, therapist Steve Bisson reflects on the relationships that have shaped his capacity for strength, growth, and recovery across five decades.
Steve begins by honoring his parents, whose contrasting yet complementary influences established his foundation. His father, who lacked a paternal role model yet became an exceptional dad himself, taught Steve about honesty and critical thinking. His mother—a glass-ceiling breaker before the term existed—demonstrated determination through her 47-year career and instilled feminist principles that continue to guide Steve's professional approach. Together, they exemplified loyalty, work ethic, and perseverance that became cornerstones of his resilience framework.
The episode takes listeners through Steve's "Three Musketeers" friendship with Joce and Frank—a bond spanning 38 years that has weathered countless challenges. Through emotional storytelling, Steve reveals how these lifelong connections, along with other key friendships, professional relationships, and even his therapy clients, have collectively taught him different aspects of resilience. Perhaps most touching is his tribute to his teenage daughters, who continue to teach him patience, emotional expression, and growth even as they navigate their own challenges.
Steve's resilience journey illuminates how our capacity to overcome obstacles isn't built in isolation but through meaningful connections that sustain us. Whether you're approaching a milestone birthday, reflecting on your support network, or simply curious about the human factors behind emotional strength, this episode offers valuable insights into how relationships shape our ability to navigate life's inevitable challenges. What voices have built your resilience? Listen and reflect on the people who've helped you become who you are today.
Freed AI converts conversations into SOAP note.Use code Steve50 for $50 off the 1st month!
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Resilience Development in Action, where
strength meets strategy andcourage to help you move forward
.
Each week, your host, steveBisson, a therapist with over
two decades of experience in thefirst responder community,
brings you powerfulconversations about resilience,
growth and healing throughtrauma and grief.
Through authentic interviews,expert discussions and
(00:21):
real-world experiences, we divedeep into the heart of human
resilience.
We explore crucial topics liketrauma recovery, grief
processing, stress managementand emotional well-being.
This is Resilience Developmentin Action with Steve Bisson get
(00:53):
freeai.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
You heard me talk about it.
I'm going to keep on talkingabout it because I love it.
I've had about a year and ahalf 18 months practice with it
and I still enjoy it and itsaves me time and it saves me
energy.
Freeai takes your note.
Your note makes a transcript ofwhat you're talking with a
client.
Just press record and it doeseither transcript, it does a
subjective and an objective,with a letter if needed for your
(01:14):
client and for whoever mightneed it.
So for $99 a month, it saves meso much time that it's
worthwhile.
And if you do it for a wholeyear, guess what?
You get 10% off.
More importantly, this is whatyou got to remember because you
are my audience that listens toResilience Development in Action
.
If you do listen to this andyou want to use freeai, put in
(01:36):
the code Steve50 in the promocode area Steve50, and you will
get $50 off in addition toeverything we just talked about.
Get freed from writing yournotes, get freed from even
writing your transcripts.
Use that to your advantage.
Freeai a great service.
Go to get freeai and you willget one of the best services
(01:59):
that will save you time andmoney and I highly encourage you
to do so will save you time andmoney, and I highly encourage
you to do so.
Well, hi everyone, and welcometo episode 213.
If you haven't listened toepisode 212, it is with LeapOV
Go listen to it.
We'll have the follow-up inabout two weeks from today, so
two episodes from now.
So 215, I believe, is going tobe his follow-up because we cut
(02:23):
the interview short, great guy,that's why it was so long.
But today is kind of aself-indulgent, my own whims.
It's my birthday coming and Idon't know for everyone.
Everyone talks about the bigones, whether it's the big four
or the big two one or the bigeight, one, eight or whatever,
or 70 or whatever.
I don't really care.
(02:43):
I'm going to be turning 50 thisSaturday as the episode airs,
and I'm so excited because 50 is, I guess, a milestone.
I don't know if it's amilestone for everyone, but
certainly for a lot of people.
For me, it's like another dayreally, as you know.
I don't know, I just think it'sanother day.
(03:04):
But because it's a podcast thattalk about resilience and all
that, I want to tell you how mygut, my resilience and my
resilience starts with threeimportant people.
I don't have brothers orsisters, but I do have a mom and
dad and if it wasn't for them,you know my parents, you know.
You know my parents, you know,didn't grow up exactly rich.
(03:27):
I didn't live through that andthey survived and they're good,
you know.
They taught me about theimportance of work ethic.
They also taught me about howto communicate, and sometimes
they taught me by showing me nothow to communicate.
But all joking aside, mom,sorry, I do believe that my
parents really brought me a longway.
(03:47):
My dad did not have a dad toshow him the ropes, so my dad
did one hell of a job.
Rest in peace, dad.
But he also taught me aboutbeing honest.
He listened to music thatwasn't popular at the time.
He also was someone who had hisown thought process.
I know a lot of people inCanada have joked to me that
(04:08):
your dad should have been anAmerican, and he was in a
certain extent.
I was born and raised in theMontreal area and lived there
all his life.
But my dad taught me about alot of history not repeating
itself and if you don't knowwhat it is, it's going to repeat
itself.
I should say so.
I learned a lot from that.
I learned a lot from my mom.
My mom, you know, was verycaring but very busy.
(04:32):
She was, you know, beforethere's a glass ceiling, my mom
was breaking it, so there was noglass ceiling.
She was, you know, alwayshaving a big job and I think I
get my feminism and my supportof women and doing the right
thing because of her work in theHR.
Again, just a self-made woman,blue collar for the most part,
(04:53):
but she grew up and becamesomeone in the HR department I
don't know the name of thecompany anymore.
It did change several times.
That's where my parents met.
In the last iteration my momwas involved was called MTS.
Ironically, mts in French whenyou do those initials it means
STDs.
So it didn't go well in Quebecfor that company, but ultimately
(05:15):
my mom retired from there after47 years.
My dad worked in that samecompany for 43.
So I learned the importance ofloyalty too and that's what my
parents brought me and I'm veryhappy and I carry that to this
day.
You know my my little podcastsometimes gets a lot of hits,
sometimes it doesn't, and it's alabor of love.
(05:36):
I mean, I don't know if youguys know about podcasts, but
you know I'm not making moneyoff of this.
I don't care in some ways, butI also would like to.
So obviously there's a coupleof buttons you can click.
If you want to buy me a coffeeor something, you can go check
that out.
It's going to be in the shownotes.
But ultimately my parents saydon't give up.
And my mom taught me that tooand you know it was my dad was
(05:59):
not doing well, her mom didn'tdo well.
We stayed close and we madedecisions together and to this
day my mom keeps you know in hertalk and I'm so grateful she's
alive, I'm so grateful she'saround and I love her, so very
happy to have her.
The other people that I wouldsay that I've really had an
influence in my life are my bestfriends.
I've got three best friends.
(06:21):
Joss and Frank have been withme since age 12.
We were even nicknamed in highschool the Three Musketeers.
High school started sinceseventh grade in Quebec
no-transcript, but Joss andFrank, through thick and thin
over, there'll be 38 years inSeptember.
We stuck through a lot ofdifficulties.
(06:44):
We stuck together in supportand my friend Joss even moved
here with his now wife, beatrice, for about three, four years,
maybe a little more.
I don't remember, but you knowJoss kept me grounded.
Joss is a funny guy.
Not everybody gets him, but Ido, thankfully.
(07:04):
And Joss is a very, verythoughtful person.
He thinks so well and he'sreally good at it.
And besides being funny histhought process always intrigues
me because he's always curiousand I think I get a little bit
of that from him.
I think my dad was alwayscurious.
But I also give credit withJoss.
(07:24):
Sometimes he'd give me somestuff and I'd have to research
it, even in psychology.
He's a computer I don't evenknow what his title is, works
with computers and he workedwith big companies Not here to
plug any companies becausethey're not paying me.
Then my buddy, frank, who ismore of a very methodical,
logical person Not that Joss isnot logical or I, but Frank is
(07:46):
definitely the cerebral guy,doesn't let his emotions run
over.
He taught me the importance ofnever giving up.
So again, me and him were, in aquote, slow class in high school
.
And just keep in mind, our highschool was like kind of a kind
of a nerd school, as I call it.
They took the best studentsfrom I don't know, ended up like
(08:07):
10 towns or something like that, and we all went there.
It was a public school but weall went there and so we put me
and Frank in a slow class and wewere friends before that but we
really got close.
We started there.
Somewhere deep down in someboxes at house is house or my
house, or both books upon booksof notes that we would exchange
during math class.
(08:28):
Then, to give you an idea howslow me and my buddy Frank were
uh, frank's now mechanicalengineer and again, I'm a little
slow in math, so I won't keepmyself there, but ultimately I'm
also.
You know we would correct theteacher on his math in that
class.
So we were moved from that andit was good.
(08:50):
But it's one of my bestmemories of Frank and we had a
great time in that class.
We also really had fun growingup together and Frank's the guy
just like Joss hey, frank, Ineed a favor.
Okay, do the favor.
I won't even ask twice Steve, Ineed a favor.
Same thing Now.
That's another loyalty thingthat I really learned.
(09:10):
Helen is also one of my greatestfriends.
We grew up, we were in highschool together.
I don't think we were close toabout the equivalent to grade 10
here, grade 11.
And we've been through a lottogether.
What I like about her, too, isshe's very thoughtful, she's
very caring, and we always havethe greatest discussions.
There's never been a mask,there's never been a pretend.
(09:31):
When we weren't doing good, weweren't doing good.
We weren't doing bad, we weredoing bad, and we always were
able to be truthful with eachother.
And she's always been there forme through thick and thin.
I'd like to think I was therefor her too.
She's an occupational therapist, recently retired, but we still
talk about health, theimportance of it and everything
else that goes with that, andshe taught me a whole lot.
(09:53):
So thank you, helen.
And I don't want to forget tomention their spouse.
Is just as wife as Beatrice,amazing woman too, really,
really one of the best peopleI've ever met, even though she's
from France.
Okay, no letters, no hate, it'sa joke.
She'll get it, and if you don'tget it, don't write to me, it's
just a joke.
Natalie is Frank's partner, andshe's also someone who I kind of
(10:18):
grew up with and always beensupportive of me, and I really
appreciate her.
And then Dave, who's been withHelen since high school, is also
a great guy.
We talk a lot about baseball,we miss the Montreal Expos.
But Dave is another guy who youknow.
We were in the smart Englishclass yeah, go figure, but we
(10:39):
just had a good time overall.
And those other friends I wantto mention my buddy Ruel, who's
from the Netherlands, now ansmart English class yeah, go
figure, but we just had a goodtime overall.
Those other friends I want tomention my buddy Rule, who's
from the Netherlands, now anAmerican citizen like me.
He was the partner of myex-wife's friend.
We bonded over several thingssoccer, slash, european football
but also as people who weremarried to women, who went to a
(11:01):
women's college and nothing bad.
Nothing bad, but we joke aroundthat we survived, that we're
both divorced now and shout outto both of them.
My ex-wife was someone I reallyrespect still to this day.
We had our differences but Ihopefully I've always shown
respect to her, even in ourdivorce, which is Cindy, and
then Ruel's ex-wife, april, whohave also, hopefully, always
(11:23):
been respectful and for her lifeand thank her for that.
Courtney Romanowski, who's beena co-host here, who is my
colleague and I met her about 10years ago at a program and I
was her supervisor and that'sweird, but I mean Courtney
really developed a strong bondand we talked about life.
We talked about everything thatgoes with the difficulties of
(11:45):
being a therapist, doing it onour own, stuff, like that.
She's also a great human being.
We bond over so many thingsfood mostly at this point, and
I'm kidding but I just love herto death and happy to have
Courtney in my life, and what Ithink she brings most to me is a
different point of view.
As a therapist who works withmostly first responders, as you
(12:06):
guys know, I need a differentpoint of view sometimes and
Courtney is always there for meand I appreciate that.
Donna Marie met her through myold agency advocates.
We'll talk about advocates fora short while.
But Donna marie was, uh,someone who I made the document
I moved here.
There was no information forcanadians to move to the us and
how it goes, so I created adocument.
(12:28):
Um, donna marie meets me acouple months after I made the
document and she goes.
I meet her at the group home.
She's like are you steve?
I'm like, yeah, she goes.
Yeah, your documents suckedanyway.
You want to go out tonight?
We want to go grab something.
It wasn't anything, justfriendly, and we ended up
bonding over several years.
We both got busy.
(12:49):
We don't get to talk as much aswe wish, but Don Marie is
someone who's really strong andI know I can count on.
And same thing applies to herhusband, jay Ball, who has been
on the podcast.
I think I ended up being closerto Jay for a while.
Jay's also a busy guy, does alot of different things, but Jay
taught me a lot about themilitary, taught me a lot about
(13:10):
being, you know, work in thefirst responder world Not that I
worked in it, but he told meabout his experiences, what's
good, what's not good, and he'salways been there for me too.
If I call him, he pulls a favor, doesn't ask twice, vice versa,
and you don't find a whole lotof strong people like that
anymore.
And thank you to Jay and DonnaMarie too.
(13:31):
I think that Bill Duanels, who'sbeen on the podcast, who's also
my business partner for aprogram called Fortress, and if
you want more information, we'rehappy to share it with you
privately.
We're trying to get it done ina couple of departments across
the state and hopefully we do sosooner rather than later.
But Bill is someone I workedwith at the crisis team.
We lost touch for a while, buthe was friends with my ex-wife
(13:54):
Friendly, I should say, I don'tknow if they were close and in
recent years we've started acompany.
We work together regularly andwe have a lot of thought process
.
I think that Bill showed me theimportance of a stoic thought
process but also being truthful.
Not that I lie, but even inbusiness you got to be even more
truthful, and sometimes I wouldbe mindful of not saying
(14:15):
anything, and Bill taught melike no, got to be even more
truthful, and sometimes I wouldbe mindful of not saying
anything, and Bill taught melike no, just be honest.
That's among the other thingshe's done for me, but that's
what I would thank Bill for.
I want to thank my kids,catherine and Christina.
They taught me so much aboutlife and they still do every day
.
I have a little tear in my eyebecause I'm so happy to have him
in my life.
I'm lucky they still talk to me.
(14:38):
You know it's the summertimething.
They off a week and I get tospend time with them and they're
teenage girls and they'reprobably the most important
thing in my life and sorry formy breakup of my voice, but I
love them.
They teach me how to be morepatient.
They teach me how to show myemotion.
They also teach me how it ishard to be a teenage girl and
(15:01):
it's hard to be a dad of ateenage girl, but somehow we
really grow together and I can'tthank them enough for that.
Well, I didn't think I'd getemotional, but here we are.
I want to thank also advocates.
I mentioned them earlier.
Advocates, the company thatbrought me here in 1999, hired
me in November of 1998.
I was supposed to come here,get my education, get the hell
(15:22):
out of here.
Turns out you meet someone,cindy, and you have kids and you
start loving America and youstill love the United States of
America.
I don't want to get political.
There's times I don't,sometimes I do.
But I love this country and Ilove the people and I'm so happy
that I'm here today.
I miss Canada.
I miss Quebec More thananything else.
(15:45):
I don't get to speak Frenchmuch anymore Still haven't lost
my accent, apparently but I canfeel it.
It's going to go and that's theworst thing that I can say
about where I'm at.
My clients taught me so much.
I terminate with my clients andI tell them what they thought
me while we were workingtogether.
I don't.
Folks certainly terminate them,it's when therapy has run its
(16:07):
course, but they're amazing.
And then I want to thank myguests who've been on this
podcast over the course of threeand a half years not quite, but
around there they taught me awhole lot.
They brought me some differentpoint of views.
Never thought I wanted to knowmore about overcoming the fear
of dogs than I did working onthis podcast.
Shout out to Stephanie, and thengot to meet great people that
(16:28):
are become friends.
And then different Stephaniebut shout out to Stephanie for
that one too.
Stephanie Simpson, who's afriend, who's someone who's
friends with Courtney too, butended up being very close to her
.
My fellow colleagues I can't gothrough all the names.
I'm going to forget someone, soI'd rather not say from the
group homes, especially Kurt,the crisis team, and I'm going
(16:51):
to mention a couple of peoplethat I really enjoyed working
with, including Jen and Kelly,my good friend.
Rest in peace.
Christina, coco and I'm goingto forget names, I'm going to
stop there.
I learned so much from you guys,and you keep on challenging me
and making me grow, and now Ihave a lot of people who have
come after me, who look up to meand I can't thank enough all my
(17:14):
colleagues I had on the crisisteam, at the parole office, at
the parole office, at theprobation office, people I
worked with in the jail, workedin the community, with the
police, particularly Framingham,and the people I met through
the drug courts, through NewtonPD and Framingham but Worcester
PD.
Those are the people who taughtme a lot and I learned so much
(17:34):
and I can't thank these guysenough.
And, frankly, I want to finishoff with someone who's been
important in my life for thelast few years, last three years
.
She's been on the podcast tooAnna Meyer, she's my girlfriend
and you move here, you stay forlove, you get through a divorce.
Now you go fuck this shit.
You're going to stay here justfor a short while.
At the end of the day, you endup meeting someone who
(17:57):
challenges you but loves you,and I challenged back and Sheila
, and I love her too, and she'sbeen such an important person in
my life.
She's accepted my kids for whothey are.
She's accepted me minus thegraphic t-shirts that you don't
get to see today for who I am,and we grow and grow and next
week well, actually, when thisis being broadcast, this is all
(18:20):
automatic after a while.
I'm recording about a weekbefore, but it's going to be
automatic.
It's going to come out nextWednesday during my week of
vacation and I'll be in Maineand she's the one who pushed me
to do that.
I'm going to have most of thefriends I mentioned that are
coming and I'll be happy to seethem, but Anna is the one who
really shows me how to putmyself first, once they care of
(18:42):
me and bust my balls just enoughso that I stay humble, which
I'd give my family, my parentsand everyone else in my life the
same gumption, because I neverwant to be admired or put on a
pedestal, because I'm just ahuman being.
The Buddhists in me will alwaystell you I'm just a human being
(19:02):
, just like Buddha was, andthat's that.
Yeah, self-indulgent, you didn'twant to hear the story.
Don't listen to the episode.
If you listen to it, give mesome feedback.
But thank you, audience.
If it wasn't for you, Iwouldn't be doing this and, yes,
sometimes my audience is big,sometimes it's small, but having
an audience is just a gift andI love you guys.
I wouldn't do it if I didn'tlike it and love you, and
(19:26):
hopefully you continue gettingsomething out of it.
So, keeping that in mind, behindthe badge and beyond, this is a
group that we started here inMassachusetts.
We're hoping to go to englandand everything else, but we
started them and it's aaron,it's richard, it's lisa, it's
alexa, and then there's meforgetting someone, aaron.
(19:46):
Sorry, aaron, but this is thegroup that originally started a
couple, couple maybe a year anda half ago.
They joined let me join in andwe're doing fantastic work.
So you get to listen to thatepisode next week or next
episode, I should say, it's notalways next week for everyone
listening and I thank you foryour time and be safe this
summer.
And again, I know I said in thelast episode I'm going to say
(20:07):
it again Rest in peace, jay.
I miss you.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Please like, subscribe and follow this
podcast on your favoriteplatform.
A glowing review is alwayshelpful and, as a reminder, this
podcast is for informational,educational and entertainment
purposes only.
If you're struggling with amental health or substance abuse
issue, please reach out to aprofessional counselor for
consultation.
If you are in a mental healthcrisis, call 988 for assistance.
(20:36):
This number is available in theUnited States and Canada.
Welcome to Resilience Development in Action, where
strength meets strategy andcourage to help you move forward
.
Each week, your host, steveBisson, a therapist with over
two decades of experience in thefirst responder community,
brings you powerfulconversations about resilience,
growth and healing throughtrauma and grief.
Through authentic interviews,expert discussions and
(00:21):
real-world experiences, we divedeep into the heart of human
resilience.
We explore crucial topics liketrauma recovery, grief
processing, stress managementand emotional well-being.
This is Resilience Developmentin Action with Steve Bisson get
(00:53):
freeai.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
You heard me talk about it.
I'm going to keep on talkingabout it because I love it.
I've had about a year and ahalf 18 months practice with it
and I still enjoy it and itsaves me time and it saves me
energy.
Freeai takes your note.
Your note makes a transcript ofwhat you're talking with a
client.
Just press record and it doeseither transcript, it does a
subjective and an objective,with a letter if needed for your
(01:14):
client and for whoever mightneed it.
So for $99 a month, it saves meso much time that it's
worthwhile.
And if you do it for a wholeyear, guess what?
You get 10% off.
More importantly, this is whatyou got to remember because you
are my audience that listens toResilience Development in Action
.
If you do listen to this andyou want to use freeai, put in
(01:36):
the code Steve50 in the promocode area Steve50, and you will
get $50 off in addition toeverything we just talked about.
Get freed from writing yournotes, get freed from even
writing your transcripts.
Use that to your advantage.
Freeai a great service.
Go to get freeai and you willget one of the best services
(01:59):
that will save you time andmoney and I highly encourage you
to do so will save you time andmoney, and I highly encourage
you to do so.
Well, hi everyone, and welcometo episode 213.
If you haven't listened toepisode 212, it is with LeapOV
Go listen to it.
We'll have the follow-up inabout two weeks from today, so
two episodes from now.
So 215, I believe, is going tobe his follow-up because we cut
(02:23):
the interview short, great guy,that's why it was so long.
But today is kind of aself-indulgent, my own whims.
It's my birthday coming and Idon't know for everyone.
Everyone talks about the bigones, whether it's the big four
or the big two one or the bigeight, one, eight or whatever,
or 70 or whatever.
I don't really care.
(02:43):
I'm going to be turning 50 thisSaturday as the episode airs,
and I'm so excited because 50 is, I guess, a milestone.
I don't know if it's amilestone for everyone, but
certainly for a lot of people.
For me, it's like another dayreally, as you know.
I don't know, I just think it'sanother day.
(03:04):
But because it's a podcast thattalk about resilience and all
that, I want to tell you how mygut, my resilience and my
resilience starts with threeimportant people.
I don't have brothers orsisters, but I do have a mom and
dad and if it wasn't for them,you know my parents, you know.
You know my parents, you know,didn't grow up exactly rich.
(03:27):
I didn't live through that andthey survived and they're good,
you know.
They taught me about theimportance of work ethic.
They also taught me about howto communicate, and sometimes
they taught me by showing me nothow to communicate.
But all joking aside, mom,sorry, I do believe that my
parents really brought me a longway.
(03:47):
My dad did not have a dad toshow him the ropes, so my dad
did one hell of a job.
Rest in peace, dad.
But he also taught me aboutbeing honest.
He listened to music thatwasn't popular at the time.
He also was someone who had hisown thought process.
I know a lot of people inCanada have joked to me that
(04:08):
your dad should have been anAmerican, and he was in a
certain extent.
I was born and raised in theMontreal area and lived there
all his life.
But my dad taught me about alot of history not repeating
itself and if you don't knowwhat it is, it's going to repeat
itself.
I should say so.
I learned a lot from that.
I learned a lot from my mom.
My mom, you know, was verycaring but very busy.
(04:32):
She was, you know, beforethere's a glass ceiling, my mom
was breaking it, so there was noglass ceiling.
She was, you know, alwayshaving a big job and I think I
get my feminism and my supportof women and doing the right
thing because of her work in theHR.
Again, just a self-made woman,blue collar for the most part,
(04:53):
but she grew up and becamesomeone in the HR department I
don't know the name of thecompany anymore.
It did change several times.
That's where my parents met.
In the last iteration my momwas involved was called MTS.
Ironically, mts in French whenyou do those initials it means
STDs.
So it didn't go well in Quebecfor that company, but ultimately
(05:15):
my mom retired from there after47 years.
My dad worked in that samecompany for 43.
So I learned the importance ofloyalty too and that's what my
parents brought me and I'm veryhappy and I carry that to this
day.
You know my my little podcastsometimes gets a lot of hits,
sometimes it doesn't, and it's alabor of love.
(05:36):
I mean, I don't know if youguys know about podcasts, but
you know I'm not making moneyoff of this.
I don't care in some ways, butI also would like to.
So obviously there's a coupleof buttons you can click.
If you want to buy me a coffeeor something, you can go check
that out.
It's going to be in the shownotes.
But ultimately my parents saydon't give up.
And my mom taught me that tooand you know it was my dad was
(05:59):
not doing well, her mom didn'tdo well.
We stayed close and we madedecisions together and to this
day my mom keeps you know in hertalk and I'm so grateful she's
alive, I'm so grateful she'saround and I love her, so very
happy to have her.
The other people that I wouldsay that I've really had an
influence in my life are my bestfriends.
I've got three best friends.
(06:21):
Joss and Frank have been withme since age 12.
We were even nicknamed in highschool the Three Musketeers.
High school started sinceseventh grade in Quebec
no-transcript, but Joss andFrank, through thick and thin
over, there'll be 38 years inSeptember.
We stuck through a lot ofdifficulties.
(06:44):
We stuck together in supportand my friend Joss even moved
here with his now wife, beatrice, for about three, four years,
maybe a little more.
I don't remember, but you knowJoss kept me grounded.
Joss is a funny guy.
Not everybody gets him, but Ido, thankfully.
(07:04):
And Joss is a very, verythoughtful person.
He thinks so well and he'sreally good at it.
And besides being funny histhought process always intrigues
me because he's always curiousand I think I get a little bit
of that from him.
I think my dad was alwayscurious.
But I also give credit withJoss.
(07:24):
Sometimes he'd give me somestuff and I'd have to research
it, even in psychology.
He's a computer I don't evenknow what his title is, works
with computers and he workedwith big companies Not here to
plug any companies becausethey're not paying me.
Then my buddy, frank, who ismore of a very methodical,
logical person Not that Joss isnot logical or I, but Frank is
(07:46):
definitely the cerebral guy,doesn't let his emotions run
over.
He taught me the importance ofnever giving up.
So again, me and him were, in aquote, slow class in high school
.
And just keep in mind, our highschool was like kind of a kind
of a nerd school, as I call it.
They took the best studentsfrom I don't know, ended up like
(08:07):
10 towns or something like that, and we all went there.
It was a public school but weall went there and so we put me
and Frank in a slow class and wewere friends before that but we
really got close.
We started there.
Somewhere deep down in someboxes at house is house or my
house, or both books upon booksof notes that we would exchange
during math class.
(08:28):
Then, to give you an idea howslow me and my buddy Frank were
uh, frank's now mechanicalengineer and again, I'm a little
slow in math, so I won't keepmyself there, but ultimately I'm
also.
You know we would correct theteacher on his math in that
class.
So we were moved from that andit was good.
(08:50):
But it's one of my bestmemories of Frank and we had a
great time in that class.
We also really had fun growingup together and Frank's the guy
just like Joss hey, frank, Ineed a favor.
Okay, do the favor.
I won't even ask twice Steve, Ineed a favor.
Same thing Now.
That's another loyalty thingthat I really learned.
(09:10):
Helen is also one of my greatestfriends.
We grew up, we were in highschool together.
I don't think we were close toabout the equivalent to grade 10
here, grade 11.
And we've been through a lottogether.
What I like about her, too, isshe's very thoughtful, she's
very caring, and we always havethe greatest discussions.
There's never been a mask,there's never been a pretend.
(09:31):
When we weren't doing good, weweren't doing good.
We weren't doing bad, we weredoing bad, and we always were
able to be truthful with eachother.
And she's always been there forme through thick and thin.
I'd like to think I was therefor her too.
She's an occupational therapist, recently retired, but we still
talk about health, theimportance of it and everything
else that goes with that, andshe taught me a whole lot.
(09:53):
So thank you, helen.
And I don't want to forget tomention their spouse.
Is just as wife as Beatrice,amazing woman too, really,
really one of the best peopleI've ever met, even though she's
from France.
Okay, no letters, no hate, it'sa joke.
She'll get it, and if you don'tget it, don't write to me, it's
just a joke.
Natalie is Frank's partner, andshe's also someone who I kind of
(10:18):
grew up with and always beensupportive of me, and I really
appreciate her.
And then Dave, who's been withHelen since high school, is also
a great guy.
We talk a lot about baseball,we miss the Montreal Expos.
But Dave is another guy who youknow.
We were in the smart Englishclass yeah, go figure, but we
(10:39):
just had a good time overall.
And those other friends I wantto mention my buddy Ruel, who's
from the Netherlands, now ansmart English class yeah, go
figure, but we just had a goodtime overall.
Those other friends I want tomention my buddy Rule, who's
from the Netherlands, now anAmerican citizen like me.
He was the partner of myex-wife's friend.
We bonded over several thingssoccer, slash, european football
but also as people who weremarried to women, who went to a
(11:01):
women's college and nothing bad.
Nothing bad, but we joke aroundthat we survived, that we're
both divorced now and shout outto both of them.
My ex-wife was someone I reallyrespect still to this day.
We had our differences but Ihopefully I've always shown
respect to her, even in ourdivorce, which is Cindy, and
then Ruel's ex-wife, april, whohave also, hopefully, always
(11:23):
been respectful and for her lifeand thank her for that.
Courtney Romanowski, who's beena co-host here, who is my
colleague and I met her about 10years ago at a program and I
was her supervisor and that'sweird, but I mean Courtney
really developed a strong bondand we talked about life.
We talked about everything thatgoes with the difficulties of
(11:45):
being a therapist, doing it onour own, stuff, like that.
She's also a great human being.
We bond over so many thingsfood mostly at this point, and
I'm kidding but I just love herto death and happy to have
Courtney in my life, and what Ithink she brings most to me is a
different point of view.
As a therapist who works withmostly first responders, as you
(12:06):
guys know, I need a differentpoint of view sometimes and
Courtney is always there for meand I appreciate that.
Donna Marie met her through myold agency advocates.
We'll talk about advocates fora short while.
But Donna marie was, uh,someone who I made the document
I moved here.
There was no information forcanadians to move to the us and
how it goes, so I created adocument.
(12:28):
Um, donna marie meets me acouple months after I made the
document and she goes.
I meet her at the group home.
She's like are you steve?
I'm like, yeah, she goes.
Yeah, your documents suckedanyway.
You want to go out tonight?
We want to go grab something.
It wasn't anything, justfriendly, and we ended up
bonding over several years.
We both got busy.
(12:49):
We don't get to talk as much aswe wish, but Don Marie is
someone who's really strong andI know I can count on.
And same thing applies to herhusband, jay Ball, who has been
on the podcast.
I think I ended up being closerto Jay for a while.
Jay's also a busy guy, does alot of different things, but Jay
taught me a lot about themilitary, taught me a lot about
(13:10):
being, you know, work in thefirst responder world Not that I
worked in it, but he told meabout his experiences, what's
good, what's not good, and he'salways been there for me too.
If I call him, he pulls a favor, doesn't ask twice, vice versa,
and you don't find a whole lotof strong people like that
anymore.
And thank you to Jay and DonnaMarie too.
(13:31):
I think that Bill Duanels, who'sbeen on the podcast, who's also
my business partner for aprogram called Fortress, and if
you want more information, we'rehappy to share it with you
privately.
We're trying to get it done ina couple of departments across
the state and hopefully we do sosooner rather than later.
But Bill is someone I workedwith at the crisis team.
We lost touch for a while, buthe was friends with my ex-wife
(13:54):
Friendly, I should say, I don'tknow if they were close and in
recent years we've started acompany.
We work together regularly andwe have a lot of thought process
.
I think that Bill showed me theimportance of a stoic thought
process but also being truthful.
Not that I lie, but even inbusiness you got to be even more
truthful, and sometimes I wouldbe mindful of not saying
(14:15):
anything, and Bill taught melike no, got to be even more
truthful, and sometimes I wouldbe mindful of not saying
anything, and Bill taught melike no, just be honest.
That's among the other thingshe's done for me, but that's
what I would thank Bill for.
I want to thank my kids,catherine and Christina.
They taught me so much aboutlife and they still do every day
.
I have a little tear in my eyebecause I'm so happy to have him
in my life.
I'm lucky they still talk to me.
(14:38):
You know it's the summertimething.
They off a week and I get tospend time with them and they're
teenage girls and they'reprobably the most important
thing in my life and sorry formy breakup of my voice, but I
love them.
They teach me how to be morepatient.
They teach me how to show myemotion.
They also teach me how it ishard to be a teenage girl and
(15:01):
it's hard to be a dad of ateenage girl, but somehow we
really grow together and I can'tthank them enough for that.
Well, I didn't think I'd getemotional, but here we are.
I want to thank also advocates.
I mentioned them earlier.
Advocates, the company thatbrought me here in 1999, hired
me in November of 1998.
I was supposed to come here,get my education, get the hell
(15:22):
out of here.
Turns out you meet someone,cindy, and you have kids and you
start loving America and youstill love the United States of
America.
I don't want to get political.
There's times I don't,sometimes I do.
But I love this country and Ilove the people and I'm so happy
that I'm here today.
I miss Canada.
I miss Quebec More thananything else.
(15:45):
I don't get to speak Frenchmuch anymore Still haven't lost
my accent, apparently but I canfeel it.
It's going to go and that's theworst thing that I can say
about where I'm at.
My clients taught me so much.
I terminate with my clients andI tell them what they thought
me while we were workingtogether.
I don't.
Folks certainly terminate them,it's when therapy has run its
(16:07):
course, but they're amazing.
And then I want to thank myguests who've been on this
podcast over the course of threeand a half years not quite, but
around there they taught me awhole lot.
They brought me some differentpoint of views.
Never thought I wanted to knowmore about overcoming the fear
of dogs than I did working onthis podcast.
Shout out to Stephanie, and thengot to meet great people that
(16:28):
are become friends.
And then different Stephaniebut shout out to Stephanie for
that one too.
Stephanie Simpson, who's afriend, who's someone who's
friends with Courtney too, butended up being very close to her
.
My fellow colleagues I can't gothrough all the names.
I'm going to forget someone, soI'd rather not say from the
group homes, especially Kurt,the crisis team, and I'm going
(16:51):
to mention a couple of peoplethat I really enjoyed working
with, including Jen and Kelly,my good friend.
Rest in peace.
Christina, coco and I'm goingto forget names, I'm going to
stop there.
I learned so much from you guys,and you keep on challenging me
and making me grow, and now Ihave a lot of people who have
come after me, who look up to meand I can't thank enough all my
(17:14):
colleagues I had on the crisisteam, at the parole office, at
the parole office, at theprobation office, people I
worked with in the jail, workedin the community, with the
police, particularly Framingham,and the people I met through
the drug courts, through NewtonPD and Framingham but Worcester
PD.
Those are the people who taughtme a lot and I learned so much
(17:34):
and I can't thank these guysenough.
And, frankly, I want to finishoff with someone who's been
important in my life for thelast few years, last three years
.
She's been on the podcast tooAnna Meyer, she's my girlfriend
and you move here, you stay forlove, you get through a divorce.
Now you go fuck this shit.
You're going to stay here justfor a short while.
At the end of the day, you endup meeting someone who
(17:57):
challenges you but loves you,and I challenged back and Sheila
, and I love her too, and she'sbeen such an important person in
my life.
She's accepted my kids for whothey are.
She's accepted me minus thegraphic t-shirts that you don't
get to see today for who I am,and we grow and grow and next
week well, actually, when thisis being broadcast, this is all
(18:20):
automatic after a while.
I'm recording about a weekbefore, but it's going to be
automatic.
It's going to come out nextWednesday during my week of
vacation and I'll be in Maineand she's the one who pushed me
to do that.
I'm going to have most of thefriends I mentioned that are
coming and I'll be happy to seethem, but Anna is the one who
really shows me how to putmyself first, once they care of
(18:42):
me and bust my balls just enoughso that I stay humble, which
I'd give my family, my parentsand everyone else in my life the
same gumption, because I neverwant to be admired or put on a
pedestal, because I'm just ahuman being.
The Buddhists in me will alwaystell you I'm just a human being
(19:02):
, just like Buddha was, andthat's that.
Yeah, self-indulgent, you didn'twant to hear the story.
Don't listen to the episode.
If you listen to it, give mesome feedback.
But thank you, audience.
If it wasn't for you, Iwouldn't be doing this and, yes,
sometimes my audience is big,sometimes it's small, but having
an audience is just a gift andI love you guys.
I wouldn't do it if I didn'tlike it and love you, and
(19:26):
hopefully you continue gettingsomething out of it.
So, keeping that in mind, behindthe badge and beyond, this is a
group that we started here inMassachusetts.
We're hoping to go to englandand everything else, but we
started them and it's aaron,it's richard, it's lisa, it's
alexa, and then there's meforgetting someone, aaron.
(19:46):
Sorry, aaron, but this is thegroup that originally started a
couple, couple maybe a year anda half ago.
They joined let me join in andwe're doing fantastic work.
So you get to listen to thatepisode next week or next
episode, I should say, it's notalways next week for everyone
listening and I thank you foryour time and be safe this
summer.
And again, I know I said in thelast episode I'm going to say
(20:07):
it again Rest in peace, jay.
I miss you.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Please like, subscribe and follow this
podcast on your favoriteplatform.
A glowing review is alwayshelpful and, as a reminder, this
podcast is for informational,educational and entertainment
purposes only.
If you're struggling with amental health or substance abuse
issue, please reach out to aprofessional counselor for
consultation.
If you are in a mental healthcrisis, call 988 for assistance.
(20:36):
This number is available in theUnited States and Canada.
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