In this episode, hosts Clint and Charity engage in an insightful conversation with Erin Stretar, a skilled therapist from Ohio who holds both CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and CPTT (Certified Partner Trauma Therapist) credentials. This discussion dives deep into the often-ignored feelings of anger that betrayed spouses experience during their recovery journeys.
Erin paints a vivid picture of the two common responses a betrayed spouse may have toward their anger. For some, this powerful emotion serves as a strategy for protection, providing a false sense of control and safety and an attempt at balancing the power differential. Conversely, others may find anger to be an unfamiliar and unwelcome feeling, fearing that expressing it could lead to even more heartache and emotional pain.
One of the key principles Erin discusses is that anger is a natural and essential reaction to feelings of injustice. She asserts the importance of giving this emotion a voice, emphasizing that when expressed healthily, anger can pave the way for healing rather than leading to feelings of guilt and shame. Clint then asks how a spouse can support their partner in processing their anger in a way that promotes healing for the betrayed spouse and strengthens their relationship. There is so much gold in here that it would take too long to write it out, so hit that play button and get your notepad ready!
Favorite One-Liners:
-Unprocessed anger results in unhealthy coping.
-If you stay angry, you can’t process other emotions like grief and fear.
-Your anger needs to be given a voice.
-Anger is a sign of injustice.
Resources:
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