Jeremy Keil weighs the opportunities and risks associated with giving your money away to your kids and charity.
Most retirees I talk with don’t worry about whether they can give money away.
They worry about whether they should.
When you’ve worked hard, saved diligently, and reached a point where you have more than you need, a new question quietly creeps in:
What’s the purpose of the extra?
In this episode of Retire Today, I walk through what I see every day in real retirement plans — the good, the bad, and the unintended consequences of giving money to kids and to charity. Because while giving can be deeply meaningful, it can also backfire if it’s not done intentionally.
Giving to Kids: Blessing or Burden?
When it comes to kids, I hear two very common philosophies.
One group says, “I’m not trying to leave money to my kids. If there’s something left, that’s fine.”
The other says, “I worked hard for this money, and I want to make sure it helps my family.”
Both sound reasonable. But what actually happens is often more complicated.
In practice, most giving to kids happens by default, not by design — through inheritance. The problem is timing. If you pass away in your 80s or 90s, your kids are likely in their late 50s or 60s. Statistically, that’s when incomes and net worth tend to be the highest. In other words, that may be the moment they need your money the least.
I’ve also seen well-intentioned gifts create unintended pressure. Large down payments on homes can raise a child’s lifestyle without raising their income — leading to higher expenses, more stress, and sometimes less financial stability. Giving feels generous, but it can quietly shift responsibility away from your kids and onto you.
A better rule of thumb?
Give in ways that remove a burden, not create one.
Education costs, health care needs, or meaningful experiences often help without inflating expectations or expenses. Experiences, especially shared ones, tend to create far more joy — for you and for them — than writing a check and hoping it helps.
Giving to Charity: Now, Later, or Both?
Charitable giving tends to be more intentional, but still incomplete.
Many people plan to leave money to charity someday, yet never think through what that looks like or how it fits into their broader retirement plan. Others give modest amounts each year but leave significant sums later — without ever telling the charities involved.
What I’ve seen repeatedly is this:
When people give with intention, their stress goes down and their satisfaction goes up.
In fact, people who have clarity around where their money will go often feel lighter — as if a quiet financial worry has been resolved. When charities know they’re part of your long-term plan, relationships deepen. You stay informed, feel more connected, and often find joy in seeing the impact of your giving while you’re still here.
There’s also strong evidence that giving makes people happier. Whether happier people give more, or giving makes people happier, may be up for debate — but in practice, generosity consistently shows up alongside fulfillment.
The Bigger Question Isn’t “How Much?”
Most people ask me, “How much can I give?”
That’s usually the wrong question.
The better questions are:
- Should I give?
- When should I give?
- How do I give in a way that actually helps?
Giving later through inheritance is easy. Giving earlier — thoughtfully and intentionally — is far more impactful. You get to see the benefit, adjust if needed, and align your money with what matters most to you.
In retirement, money isn’t just about security.
It’s about purpose.
When giving is done well, it doesn’t create regret — it creates meaning.
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