September 29, 2023 • 60 mins
Have you ever pondered the powerful impact a single moment can have on your life? How one event can leave an indelible mark on you, shaping your future in ways you never imagined? This week, we had an enlightening conversation with Rina Murta, who shared her powerful journey from surviving sexual abuse to healing and empowerment. Rina opened up about the hardships she faced and the transformative steps she took towards healing.
Rina believes in the force of self-care, self-love, and the profound influence of journaling on the healing process. She revealed the surprising connections we all share, regardless of our backgrounds or experiences. We all want the same things in life - love, respect, honesty, and vulnerability. Despite the individual journeys we embark on, we are never alone. There is a shared universal language of emotions that ties us all together. Having faith in the face of fear is daunting, but remember, it's okay to ask for help.
Finally, we touched on the unique and deeply personal nature of trauma. It's not a competition, but an individual experience that can't be compared to anyone else's. Rina's analogy of a buffalo facing a storm beautifully encapsulates how we can choose to confront our trauma. As we wrapped up the episode, we spoke about the power of hope and the comfort that comes from having someone truly listen to our pain. Join us for this heartfelt discussion and remember, no matter your journey, hope is a beacon we can all hold onto.
Please visit us at: http://retreattopeace.com to find out more about the shows you love to listen to, the upcoming retreats we have planned and your favorite merchandise to help support those in need. Also, send us your testimonial of how the show or Catherine has helped you. We would love to share your story on the air.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Thank you for watching, thank you for being
here with me and welcome back.
My name is Catherine Danielsand I love to empower people
with spiritual healing andbondness.
The best thing about retreat topeace is the gift of inner
peace, greater love and joy.
And during these times ofchanges and uncertainty in our
world, nothing is permanentexcept our souls, and that is
(00:50):
why, as we come together andtravel through one another's
countries, creating a bridge,I'm removing all the labels and
just coming together, findingour home as one people in this
one world.
Our signature talk today is soimportant.
Today I have the second half ofmy interview with Rina Murta
(01:11):
and for anyone listening withchildren, please be aware that
this is a sensitive topic, as weare talking about the healing
and the compassion and empathyof the human process of sexual
abuse.
So please be mindful of youraudience who are listening to
this interview.
(01:31):
But for those of you, pleaseenjoy the rest of this interview
with Rina, as it is a verydelicate conversation but a
necessary one.
And for those of you that arelooking for additional tools and
ways that you can help yourselfin this aspect, please go to
(01:51):
retreattopeacecom and you willfind additional information
there.
Thank you, and here is thesecond half of my conversation
with Rina.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
How you mentioned that your body was experiencing
something, but your soul wasalmost out of your body.
I don't know how that happens,I don't know why, but that was
what I was feeling too at thattime.
(02:24):
Just to give it a little bit ofcontext, what I went through
was I grew up most of my life inTokyo.
I lived there for a long timeand you may know that the trains
in Japan are jam packed duringrush hour.
So I was commuting to schoolfor my junior high in high
(02:53):
school, so from 13 to 18.
And almost every single daythere would be a man putting his
hand on my bottom.
Sometimes his hand would gounder my skirt, sometimes it
would go in my underwear, andall I remember is that I froze.
(03:21):
I heard my voice wanting to saysomething to this man, to stop
or to ask for help, but Icouldn't.
And I think what was happeningwas like you said my soul was
(03:45):
outside my body, it wasprotected, it had to be detached
.
But it's also so hard to go backinto that, you know, for your
soul and your spirit to go backto that body, because it's such
a horrendous thing and theimpact that it had on me.
(04:10):
It wasn't one big impact, but itwas six years of almost every
day Going to school in themorning, coming back in the
afternoon, depending on the time, and it just still.
It still feels detached.
(04:31):
To be honest, catherine, if Ican go back a little bit, I
think we are hardwired to tryingto make sense of what happened
and even though the logic iswrong, if someone said something
, because our foundation hasbeen rattled, our own sense of
(04:52):
value, our rebirth has beenrattled, and at that point I
think it's gone into the voidalmost, and whatever information
comes in, we try to make senseof it and because if we can make
sense out of it, even thoughit's not right, maybe we feel
(05:12):
safe in some way and we kind ofrun with that for a long time
and we didn't set up ourboundaries again because that
has been violated.
We are in a very wrongworkplace with a new set of
information about ourselves and,yeah, I think it's just the
(05:39):
sense of birth part that getsvacuum sucked and, like you said
, you know it exposes us to anew something.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I feel that that best gift anyone who's experienced
this that they can givethemselves is be gentle with
that part of yourself, Becauseit really doesn't matter how old
you are when it happened orwhat exactly happened it
(06:24):
happened, and recognizing thatit happened in the feelings that
you have around it.
Those feelings are importantbecause they are a part of you
and they're true.
Yes, and the thing about thatpiece of it is, oftentimes, when
(06:47):
we go through a traumaticexperience, it's kind of like
when you're going through griefand you're mourning the loss of
something or someone you knowthere is this part of you that
is suffering a loss, right, andif you can get within your body
(07:11):
and identify where it's sittingand write that out, put it into
a journal and just say this iswhere I'm feeling it in my body
and then from there just focuson healing that part of your
body and restoring your body andmaking it whole, because over
(07:35):
and over and over they've donestudies about this and there is
so much healing power that wecan do for our own bodies.
Where you know we arevisualizing healing, I always
talk about envisioning light,light just radiating to that
center of whatever it is thatyou're feeling inside your body
(07:59):
and just think about thecellular structure and repairing
that.
And what you're doing with allof that is you're, literally,
without maybe even realizing,you're pouring so much love back
into yourself.
And the more that you pour thatlove back into yourself, the
(08:21):
more you're going to feel yourself worth because you're giving
yourself that love, and themore that you start to feel
yourself worth, the more you'regoing to recognize I don't have
to fill in the blank, I don'thave to lower myself to
something that's not making mehappy anymore.
(08:42):
I can actually put that outsidemy circle and focus on things
that do make me happy, whateverthat looks like.
It's so important to focus onthe healing of that, because the
more that you can do that, themore you're going to open up
(09:06):
your life and manifest exactlywhat it is that you want and
heal from it, instead of justgoing into avoidance mode and
pushing it down and then thatpart of you that's suffering
because it does sit in the body.
So that part of you that'ssuffering, we don't want that to
(09:28):
manifest into illness ordisease.
We really do want to remove itfrom the body.
So the best way to do that isget in tune with it and then
release it.
And journaling journaling is apowerful, powerful tool getting
it out of the body, justremoving it from your cellular
structure, releasing it.
(09:49):
And you know what, if you don'twant to ever look at that again
, rip out the pages, throw themaway, burn them, whatever.
At least you're getting it out.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Right, yeah, you touched on a lot of important
information just now and youknow, being a trauma informed
coach, coach myself we want tomove forward and have a
meaningful and fulfilling lifedespite trauma.
Trauma is not something thatwould that we eliminate, you
(10:27):
know.
It's always going to be there,we can't really forget it.
But we can move forward despitetrauma and we can adjust our
life in a better way that ismeaningful for us despite trauma
.
And there are a couple of stepsthat I also introduced in my,
(10:52):
you know, my course is thatbecause we go into relationships
and we repatterns and if thesexual trauma part is not healed
, there is a massive part of usthat is bleeding into the
unhealthy relationship patterns.
So it is coming back toourselves, with ourselves and
(11:17):
loving ourselves, all the flaws,all the uniqueness, all the
light, all the love.
But there's a story that is inour head that keeps repeating.
You know, is it true?
You know the belief.
There's a belief that is nottrue, because you know, you may
have heard, you know beliefbecomes thoughts, you know
(11:39):
thoughts become words and youknow words becomes actions and
action becomes habit and habitbecomes your life.
So we need to kind of backtrackand I call it unlearning, but
you know, unlearning thosebeliefs, unlearning, keep asking
ourselves why.
You know, is it true?
Is there any judgment aroundour own thoughts?
(12:04):
Because sometimes we feel andend up thinking like, oh, I
shouldn't think this way, butdoes it ring true to you?
And there are also parts.
Despite trauma, you are heretoday.
There's something within youthat was standing really strong.
That part is also true.
(12:26):
You know, what is the strength?
Despite those horrific eventshappening to you, what remained
alive?
Because you may not know it,but it was always there with you
.
What is that?
And I'd like to think thatthose are our core values.
(12:48):
You know, and I think that corevalues are like our spiritual
fingerprints.
You know, it's like intuitive,it's something that just does
not die.
It is with you from the momentyou're born until you leave this
place.
There are so many things thatwe can actually, even logically,
(13:10):
use our brain and bringeverything together the emotions
, our body, the spirituality andour brain, our heart, our guts.
You know everything, it has aplace and they're all here for
you.
And using all of that to helpyou, it really does move you
(13:33):
forward in a very healthy way.
It will heal, you will see thelove and light that you are.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah, it's beautiful how you just put all that out
the way that you did, and, as wego through our journey in life,
I think one of the things thatwas very profound for me with my
experience was I started torealize I wasn't the only one.
I started to realize that therewas really an army, an army of
(14:11):
people, right, but we don'treally talk about it.
We don't really hear about itbecause nobody's really bringing
it to the surface.
And one of the things that Ilove about 2020 is it did give
us this beautiful platform toput this out and have these
(14:32):
conversations, because, with thelockdown, people had to start
going into these deeper, youknow, pieces of their lives to
do this healing work, and I feellike this is one of those
pieces, right is addressing someof that.
And the other thing that 2020did is it brought a lot of grief
(14:53):
to the surface, and this is anelement of grief, right, because
this is a part of us, and whatwe know about grief is grief
loves to attach itself to otherthings, so other things that
you've stuffed down, that youdidn't grieve, and it just keeps
on attaching until somethinghits and then, all of a sudden,
(15:19):
everything's coming to thesurface and exploding.
And now we have to go throughthis process of grief.
But again, even with griefgetting back into our heart
space, getting back into thatheart center of love, it's.
(15:42):
It's okay to have these ebbsand flows, right, because that's
what grief is too.
So it's okay, even after theshow, to feel like you know,
that was a little bit hard tolisten to, but like it's okay,
right, because you are going toresurface again and it will be
(16:05):
okay.
You know it's just part of theprocess.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
And healing is a spiral.
It is so.
You know it might look big butyou know it's not going to be
forever like the ebbs and flowsand you will have a break.
And you know, when you havethat break you'll actually be
better.
And you know, those griefs anda lot of things that surface
(16:32):
that feels very uncomfortableare only really parts of you
that want to be heard by you andseeing by you with love and
compassion.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, and I've heard that before, that grief wants to
be heard and I feel like that'sso, so true, because even when
you lose a loved one, justhaving someone hear your pain
it's almost like it helps you torest a little bit easier and
(17:12):
feel okay because you're notalone.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Right, yeah, no, I think this is what we talked
about last time, and how itended was you're not alone.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Right yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
It's.
We meet a lot of people andthere are a lot of things that
people don't say and they don'tshare for various reasons.
But it is really interestingthat, man or woman, whatever you
are, you know we as humans, weshare the same emotions.
(17:50):
It really connects us,regardless of your background
and I find that fascinatingregardless of your background or
race or culture or age, that wefeel and we have words to these
(18:11):
emotions that connects us.
A loss for so much empathy, somuch compassion, even among
strangers, I think that's quiteprofound, you know, for humans
(18:32):
to have.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
It's so true.
I mean, we have so manylanguages around the world, and
isn't it funny how you could goto another country and smile at
a baby, and the baby knowsexactly what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yeah, has no boundaries.
No, you don't need boundariesfor smiles.
Yeah, I've learned a lot beingwith my second husband.
I've been with him for fouryears now and how he's a man,
(19:18):
but he's gone through a lothimself in his lifetime.
But what we want fundamentallyis really the same.
It is like connection andunderstanding, acceptance, love,
no feeling safe, respect, beingable to be honest and
(19:44):
vulnerable.
It's like, yes, that soundslike such common sense, but I do
find that it is quite true and,you know, I see hope in that,
because I come from Japan and hewas born in Race and Vancouver
(20:12):
and we still have thatconnection.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
It's remarkable how, during our journey, we have
these people that come into ourlives, that are assisting us
with our healing process and forsome people maybe they're not
ready to heal and they've turnedpeople away.
But when you know you're ready,you'll find those people and
(20:48):
they'll be there to help you andlove you and support you.
And I feel it's really thesingle most important thing is
to really get yourself into thatheart center and love yourself
first, because really this workis your work, so it's not like
somebody else is going to fixyou.
(21:08):
You have to do this foryourself.
But I know Tony Robbins alwayssays you know things don't
happen to you, they happen foryou and for some people that
could be triggering right,because it's like why you know?
Why would somebody say this?
But I'll be honest with you.
(21:31):
I have done a show for threeyears where people have taken
the worst of the worst and madeit the most beautiful thing that
they could have neverexperienced before.
You know, it's like there wassomething.
It was.
It's almost like turningsomething inside out and just
(21:53):
making it into something verybeautiful.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Right, I do feel, you know, there is a crossroad of
how some people find itdifficult to turn their lives
around and how some people doturn around, and I think the
difference may be if you can seesomething that is more
(22:20):
beautiful at the end of thetunnel on the other side of the
bridge, and if you can feel itand if that feels good, you walk
towards that direction.
And you know, there's nopromises really, but I think
there's a big part that we needto have faith, that we trust
(22:49):
that it will be better that wedon't.
You know, we don't know what'son the other side, but are we
able to believe, you know?
Have faith, and is that a bigenough and beautiful enough
reason to heal?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, Having faith through fear is very difficult
for anyone, especially when theyare in fear because it's all
these other stories that they'veattached to it.
And it's almost like you secondguess, right, you second guess
(23:31):
whether or not you can face thefear because you have all these
things and you have all thesefeelings.
And I go back to what I saidearlier.
The pivoting point for me wasjust recognizing that, where I
(23:52):
am as an adult and today,knowing what I know, I wouldn't
have made those same choices but, I, can also honor and love
that piece of me that did havethat experience, because that's
a younger version of myself andI can't be angry at that younger
(24:15):
version of myself.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
No, what happened?
I think there was actually, youknow, the logical brain kicked
in, and it's really important intrauma being, in trauma,
informed.
But fear is such a primal thing.
The brain reacts to fear a lotfaster, while like 0.00014 is
(24:39):
faster than our logic kicks in.
But being able to recognizethat I am an adult, I can ask
for help, I will ask for help ifI need to is in a way that you
know you regulated yourself andbecause I fear is such a primal
(25:04):
thing being able to distinguish,is it happening to me now?
Is this fear true?
Is it real fear or is it aperceived fear?
Those kind of things really,really help to create this
opportunity, to create thiswindow of being able to take one
(25:26):
breath.
You know it is one breath at atime.
It's not going to be amiraculous overnight.
I think maybe it will for some,but for most it isn't, you know
.
But it is one step at a time.
If you can do it for one second, that's great because you're
being able to do something thatyou weren't before.
That is a step forward, nomatter how small it is, it is a
(25:50):
step forward.
It is a step towards healing,it is a step towards feeling
safer.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
The thing that's coming to me, too is I think
it's really important to makemention, which we haven't really
discussed too much is thatsometimes we're in a situation
and it may or may not be anintimate situation or with our
partner but we may be in amoment where, all of a sudden,
(26:23):
our body is triggered and wedon't sometimes even know what's
going on in our brain, becausewe're like what just happened?
Like I just freaked out andstarted crying, or my body, you
know, got really stiff and tenseand I feel like I want to throw
up, or my skin feels like it'sgoing to crawl.
(26:45):
And I think it's important tomake mention because this is
part of the residual bodyresponse, right, because of that
cellular DNA memory that wehold on to with our bodies.
And it's really important tomake mention because when you're
(27:07):
experiencing that again, it'swhere you have to go into that
logic brain and remind yourselfwhere you are in the present,
like I'm here right now.
I'm not in that past experienceand recognizing that this is
(27:30):
something that happened to youbut it's not happening to you in
this moment.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Right when you mentioned cellular memory.
Is it like generational trauma?
Are you also talking aboutgenerational trauma that your
body or your spirit remembers?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I think it can be either or because there is
generational trauma, but thenthere's also the trauma that you
go through, and oftentimes Iuse the example of where were
you when you heard about 9, 11.
And immediately you can recallI was in this moment doing this
(28:10):
with these people.
All the details are there.
That is trauma, right, it justlooks and feels different, but
it's still trauma.
So when you when you can pullthat up that quickly, that fast,
that is trauma sitting in thecells of the body.
(28:32):
So sometimes, sometimes we cando that, we can recall it, and
sometimes we can't, and whateverthat may be like just
recognizing it and then bringingyourself present, bring
yourself back into the presentand being awareness of you know,
(28:52):
I'm here in this moment, liketaking the smells what can you
smell, what can you hear, whatcan you touch?
Just getting grounded with thepresent moment and recognizing
that is not like you're gettingthis reaction, but that's not
where you are right now.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Right, like trauma is not necessarily an event, but
you know it's an impact.
It's the impact that had onyour nervous system.
So you know.
That's why we can't reallycompare other people's trauma to
our own.
The same thing could happen totwo different people and they
(29:33):
would have a complete differentoutcome.
You know, I experienced the bignortheastern earthquake in
Japan in 2011, on March 11.
And there are people who arestill traumatized, rightfully so
and there are also people whohad turned their life around and
(29:55):
tried to make meaning of theirlives, and you know many people
went through that same event.
So it is an impact on you, butit had a different effect and
influence on people.
So I think what I want to sayis, if you are feeling that
(30:16):
trigger and that impact ortrauma, or it just comes out of
the grill, you don't need tocompare that with anyone.
You know it is that that's yourtruth, to recognize what's
happening to you.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah, there's.
So.
There's so many facets of thistopic that go in all different
directions, like you were sayingearlier, and I feel that at
some point when we could reallystart to begin our healing
(30:59):
process and really start to loveourselves and know that we're
safe and we're okay and insteadof being angry and turning
against ourselves, like reallythat's where we find that
freedom, we find that release,we find that sense of surrender.
(31:23):
And getting back to this groupof women that I started this
healing journey with, it wasreally astounding to me that we
go through six months of thisprocess, and I'm of the mindset
that one of my one of myspeakers had shared with me this
(31:47):
really great analogy, so I'mgoing to pull that one out right
now.
But he was talking about howscientists were studying animals
and they were trying to figureout how animals react when
there's a storm that's comingand there's some animals that
(32:08):
will just freeze.
They just freeze, they don'tknow what to do, so they just
freeze, or some animals will tryto run away from the storm.
But what's interesting is theydid a study about cows and
buffalo, and cows and buffaloare both pretty big creatures
(32:28):
and the study showed that whenthere was a storm coming, the
cows would just freeze.
They wouldn't go anywhere.
If you've ever heard the oldwives tale, you know it's going
to rain because the cows arelaying on the ground.
I'm not exactly sure thescience behind that, but that's
(32:50):
what they said.
The buffalo, however, theywould actually herd together,
they would come together, theywould all turn into the storm
and they literally would moveinto the storm as the storm was
happening.
And if you think about this,the buffalo are actually going
(33:13):
through the storm faster becausethey're facing it head on.
So their survival rate wasactually higher.
You know, it was just reallyinteresting that.
I thought to myself wow, I'vealways been a buffalo.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
That's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah, so I've always been a buffalo.
My whole life I've always beena buffalo.
So when I've been faced withsomething, it's like, all right,
let's go, because I knew I knewif I moved through it, I'd get
through it faster, and then I'dget to the other side.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
So interesting, you let it pass through.
You like, you just wait or yougo through it.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yes, you go through it yes.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
And there's no other way.
You're going to face it anyways.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Right.
So it is a choice.
It is a choice about what we dowith what we're responding to
and how we respond.
And getting back to this groupof women that were in this class
, I was floored because,remember, when I said before I
(34:29):
started this class I had beengoing through this whole process
of repressed memories surfacingand this divine event happened,
where I was invited to be partof this, and it was astounding
to me because I'm sitting thereand some of these women they did
(34:52):
go into prostitution, they didgo into self mutilation, self
harm.
I mean some of the stories thatI heard.
I was really heartbroken forsome of these people because it
just showed me a whole notherside, a whole nother level of
(35:14):
what their experience was.
And the interesting thing aboutthat is for one girl, she must
have been in her early 30s, butshe had somebody in college one
time do something that wassimilar to what you experienced
(35:35):
and it just derailed her in sucha massive way.
And again, it doesn't matterone time, one time, that's all
it takes is one time.
It's one too many.
It's one too many, exactly, butit's.
What do you do with this now?
(35:55):
What do you do with it now?
Do you let it consume you, doyou process and heal from it?
What do you do with it?
And it is a personal decision.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Right, it is, and it is so unfair that it is left to
us who experience it.
That's the choice now we haveto make that.
We didn't want to, but we haveto.
That's very unfair.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
But then I also look at the opportunity to pour love
into ourselves and to learnsomething new about ourselves,
and you so beautifully sharedhow your life transformed as a
result.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
It did.
It really did.
I think my self-worth was verylow since I was a child because
that part there's childemotional abuse.
That took place when I wasgrowing up.
So my sense of worth was low tobegin with and it just ripple
(37:12):
affected everything that I did.
Boundaries were very lowself-acceptance, self-confidence
, self-esteem, self-everythingno, it all was low.
But I think the turning pointwas when I had kids and my
(37:33):
children my older one had houselearning differences and whatnot
.
So I was, I guess, forced toface how do I raise this child
authentically without having tomake him something that he's not
(37:53):
and I accept him and he acceptshimself for who he is.
So it was easier to do for mychildren than it was for myself.
So because I wanted to show andlead by example.
That was when I became abuffalo.
(38:19):
Like okay, let's do it.
Let's face whatever crap wasthrown at me and went through
and I'm going to take care of it.
So a big portion of it wastaken care of.
But I'll be honest, you know,like healing is a spiral.
I just went through somethingmyself personally, that my sense
(38:44):
of boundaries was still in someparts of my life lacking.
And you know, going throughthat I had to go through it
logically first, because itshows up in your body and
emotions.
You know I had a completebreakdown.
I cried, I sobbed for a longtime and, you know, anger
(39:07):
surfaced.
That's the funny thing.
I had anger issues in adifferent way, that I couldn't
feel angry and I think, for thefirst time in my life the past
two weeks, I felt anger andanger had a message.
(39:27):
It was hurt, it was the feelingthat I wanted to feel when my
boundaries were disrespected,when they were violated.
But because I was in that freezone, anger decided to subside
(39:48):
and you know, like you weretalking about earlier, it took
decades for it to resurfaceagain.
But we can't keep it suppressedbecause we're actually missing
out on what we can actually feel.
You know the good stuff, youknow the love and all those good
(40:11):
stuff that are in our lives.
I was missing out on it.
So, yeah, it's definitelyuncomfortable to you know, be a
buffalo and face it's such agood analogy.
You're welcome, face that storm, but again, it's not forever
(40:39):
Right and it can be dealt with,you know.
That's why there are so manypeople.
If you start looking, there arepeople who will and can't help
you.
Maybe they can't help you witheverything, but they have their
specialties in certain areas.
So you know, look for them andthey are there for you.
(41:01):
Again, no one has to do thisalone.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Right.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Right, no one wants you.
You know like we certainlydon't want people to do this
alone.
They don't have to.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Right.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
I think, overall, the most important thing you can do
is just recognize where you arein this moment and just start
to pour into yourself that selflove and compassion and grace
and just come from your heart,centered space and really
(41:45):
recognize that you're not aloneand that is an overarching
message.
I feel like, literally I justfeel right now there's so many
people hurting on the planet andif you're listening to this
(42:06):
message right now, like there'sso much love going out to you
and you probably can feel thatbecause both myself and Reno are
empaths, so we are definitelyaffected in a lot of times.
You know people in this realmof life.
(42:27):
We are the sensitive ones, weare the ones that really take
those deeper hits.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
But I don't see that as a weakness, I see that as a
strength, an incredible strength.
So even bravery.
Yes, yes, yes.
So if there's anyone listeningright now that has been affected
by this or know someone, ormaybe you know you're raising
(43:00):
children and maybe that childjust needs to know, they can
come to you if this happens tothem, because I think often
those conversations aren't hadthe parenting conversations of.
If this were to happen to you,please know you can talk to me,
(43:26):
and the thing that I wish Ialways asked this question to my
guests if you know, what wouldyou tell your younger self?
What I would have told theadults in my life is believe me,
believe me and make me feelsafe.
(43:48):
Help me to feel safe and knowthat I am okay, I am protected,
I am okay.
Believe me and then advocatefor me, because I wasn't able to
do that for my own self.
Right, how interesting it isthat a little girl that grew up
(44:10):
with her grandparents thatliterally got up in the morning
and had breakfast and wasshipped outside and came in for
lunch and shipped outside andcame in for dinner and then went
off to bed and, had I used myvoice, there would have been
repercussions because the peoplein my life, I was programmed.
(44:35):
You're not supposed to speak.
You're a child, you are to besilenced, you are just to be
seen.
You are not supposed to talk,and I find it really amazing
that now I'm talking to theworld Right.
So, but there's so.
(44:57):
There's so much, so much that Ifeel people really need to know
and that it's okay, it really isokay, and just give yourself
grace or give your child graceor a child that needs you give
them grace.
And I, later in life, was at afamily function and one of my
(45:26):
family members came up to me andsaid to me I'm so sorry that I
didn't believe you, I'm so sorry.
And I literally thought tomyself it's okay, because in
(45:47):
that moment, at that time,during that period of time, it
was a different time.
Right, it's like these thingsweren't talked about, but the
fact that they recognized it,the fact that they could come to
me decades later andacknowledge and see me and
(46:09):
validate me and say I'm sorry,my goodness, yeah, and not that
I needed that, I really didn'tneed that, but it was just
really a milestone moment, right, wow.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yeah, and I think I wish that would happen to all of
us and I think, unfortunately,many of us may not have that
given to us.
But I was kind of thinking as Iwas listening to you what did I
(46:54):
do, or what did I want tobecome?
I think I became the person Iwish I had, and that person
would make me feel safe, heard,understood, held, you know,
loved, like all of those thingsI wish I had.
(47:15):
I think through that journey,this journey I have become and I
am becoming more and more of, Ithink that's quite if I may say
so myself, that's quiteempowering.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
It definitely is empowering.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Yeah, it's kind of like you know, when you
experience something when you'reyoung and you're like you know
what, I don't like thatexperience.
I will never do that again or Iwill not replicate that in any
capacity.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Right.
So it's similar to that, soit's very empowering it is yeah,
it's like I watch my parents dothings or you know other people
do things and think I wouldnever do that.
But it's just a flip side of it, I agree.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Is there anything coming to you that you feel like
we haven't talked about oryou've heard?
Maybe is on your heart that weshould address?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
One thing you said when we just started this
conversation was bridging andco-creating, and that still
speaks quite loud to me, and Ithink what it is is by healing,
(48:49):
like you and I have cometogether and we are co-creating
something together.
You know, through our journey,through our healing and I think
you know what your listenersthat's I feel you know we're on
a path of co-creating better,co-creating more love,
(49:14):
co-creating with light and likethis we're bridging.
You know, you and I, we havebecome a bridge and hopefully,
you know, with your listeners,we become a bridge with them and
they create even more bridgeswith others.
There's so much hope andpossibility and so much beauty
(49:39):
in that.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
The most amazing gift that this platform has given is
the opportunity to really helpone another raise that
vibrational energy space.
Because when we think aboutthose lower vibrational energies
(50:04):
of, think of fear, hatred, youknow these lower vibrational
energies.
They are energy zapping to usright and learning the tools and
ways to get out of that stateand go into a higher state.
And the more that we do thatit's really profound, because
(50:29):
that higher energy stateactually is lifting other people
, and the more that we can dothat as a collective, it just it
radiates, right, it's thatrippling effect and it does
radiate and it's one of thereasons why I'm always amazed at
going through this process andmeeting my guests and having
(50:54):
these conversations and justhaving this opportunity to, like
you said, build these bridgesaround the world and help people
and help people grow and learn.
And, for anyone who's listening, please go on to the Retreat to
Peace website and share yourtestimony how we have helped you
or you know something that ison your heart, because it really
(51:18):
is a testimony of all of us ashumanity.
And right now we are in atremendous world of change.
We're in a season of winter andwe don't know how long winter is
going to last.
But the thing that is so, soimportant is that we are
(51:44):
protecting our soul, because oursoul is energy and that's why
that energy field is soimportant.
So we want to bring it out ofthose lower vibrational energy
states and bring it into thehigher vibrational energy states
, because our souls are energyand we have to as a world
(52:06):
because of this full-onbombardment that we're
experiencing, and it's comingfrom all directions.
And if we can do anything, theslightest thing, if there's
something that you can take awayfrom listening to the show and
(52:27):
share it with someone you loveor use it for yourself, I mean
there's so much empowerment inthat and it's so needed.
I mean, as we're speaking rightnow, the sewer side rates are
going up.
You know the death and thegrief and all of these things,
(52:47):
and this is why it's soimportant that really we lock
arms as a humanity to reallylike literally in my head I can
see humans all holding handsaround the globe and I feel kind
of like that UNICEF logo orwhatever with the children, but
(53:09):
I feel like that's where we areright now.
I do.
I feel like this is just.
This is just like it has to bedone.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
Right, right, right, yeah, more than ever, yeah, and
again, you know, I just feelthat we are so connected.
I can see that too.
Right now I'm closing my eyes,but I can see, I can feel it.
And you know, if you'relisteners, maybe they feel alone
(53:42):
, but you're not.
You know, we love you, we loveyou deeply, deeply.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
Yeah, so much.
For some reason, I'm justfeeling so much love right now.
Speaker 1 (54:10):
It's beautiful.
It really is, it's beautifuland, as I say, we're two or more
gathered right, so, yeah, it'sjust really beautiful.
So I have to thank you so, somuch for your courage.
I know in our first interviewyou just briefly touched on this
topic and I know, after we hadtalked, it just made a lot of
(54:34):
sense to bring this topic tolight and I'm so glad that we
did.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for having me again.
You know your podcast isorganic and I love how it ended
on, you know, with love and that, yes, you know we're not like
dismissing or minimalizing thepain anyone is going through.
(55:03):
You know those are all real,but there is light on the other
end.
You know there is, there,really is, and I really really
hope.
You know, if you think for amoment, is there, the answer is
(55:25):
yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:28):
Yeah, and just like the buffalo going through the
storm.
I never realized that there wasthis analogy until recently.
But, like, my motto has alwaysbeen just keep moving, just keep
moving, just keep moving,because it was a survival
instinct for me to get throughwhatever it was I was getting
(55:53):
through.
And I remember being in thatcloset at three years old with
my brother and you know, mymother locks the door, the
closet shelf falls on top of ourhead and I just remember
looking at the bottom of thecloset door and the floor and
seeing that light and I knew howimportant that light was and I
(56:19):
knew it was extremely important,right, and that's something
that has always stayed with me.
It's like always go to the light, always keep moving towards the
light because it is there.
It's like it's like, you know,you have to go through a storm
(56:39):
to see the rainbow and get tothe other side where the sun is
shining again, and sometimes ittakes a little bit longer than
other times, but you have tokeep going.
Yes, you just have to keepgoing, you have to.
Speaker 2 (56:54):
You have to.
Yes, and it will be okay.
It will be just.
You know one more step, onebreath at a time.
You know one breath at a time,one step at a time, and that's
praiseworthy.
Right, and look at that step.
You kept breathing, you knowyou did it, You're doing it, and
(57:22):
maybe look up to the sky.
It's there.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
Yeah, I do that all the time.
Look up to the sky and peoplethat are close to me they laugh
at me because I'll notice allthe birds and they'll always be
surprised, like how does she dothat?
And I think, well, it's becauseI'm, you know, constantly
(57:49):
looking up to where the light is.
And it's, you know, it's justreally amazing when you can be
in awareness that we aresurrounded by love and light.
We are surrounded by so muchbeauty and we're all divinely
protected and no matter whatyour belief system is,
(58:11):
universally everyone believesthat same thing.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Yes, and we are divinely connected.
Speaker 1 (58:17):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (58:18):
If you can think, then yes, we're connected.
Speaker 1 (58:21):
Yes, absolutely, you know.
Thank you so so much.
Thank you for having me and, asyou know, at the end of this
show I ask if I were to pick upyour earth angel feather off the
ground, what would your messageto the world be in this moment?
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Keep believing and guess there is hope.
If you're thinking is therehope?
That's enough, it's telling youthere is.
Speaker 1 (59:00):
Yeah, and that's so important to remember is that
there's always hope.
There's always hope.
You just have to find it.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
Yeah, and you don't have to do it at all.
Speaker 1 (59:13):
Exactly, exactly.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you again and for all of
my listeners, this is CatherineDaniels, with Retreat to Peace,
reminding you to live yourauthentic life in peace.
And, as always, retreat toPeace and we'll see you next
time.
Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
You.
Thank you for watching, thank you for being
here with me and welcome back.
My name is Catherine Danielsand I love to empower people
with spiritual healing andbondness.
The best thing about retreat topeace is the gift of inner
peace, greater love and joy.
And during these times ofchanges and uncertainty in our
world, nothing is permanentexcept our souls, and that is
(00:50):
why, as we come together andtravel through one another's
countries, creating a bridge,I'm removing all the labels and
just coming together, findingour home as one people in this
one world.
Our signature talk today is soimportant.
Today I have the second half ofmy interview with Rina Murta
(01:11):
and for anyone listening withchildren, please be aware that
this is a sensitive topic, as weare talking about the healing
and the compassion and empathyof the human process of sexual
abuse.
So please be mindful of youraudience who are listening to
this interview.
(01:31):
But for those of you, pleaseenjoy the rest of this interview
with Rina, as it is a verydelicate conversation but a
necessary one.
And for those of you that arelooking for additional tools and
ways that you can help yourselfin this aspect, please go to
(01:51):
retreattopeacecom and you willfind additional information
there.
Thank you, and here is thesecond half of my conversation
with Rina.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
How you mentioned that your body was experiencing
something, but your soul wasalmost out of your body.
I don't know how that happens,I don't know why, but that was
what I was feeling too at thattime.
(02:24):
Just to give it a little bit ofcontext, what I went through
was I grew up most of my life inTokyo.
I lived there for a long timeand you may know that the trains
in Japan are jam packed duringrush hour.
So I was commuting to schoolfor my junior high in high
(02:53):
school, so from 13 to 18.
And almost every single daythere would be a man putting his
hand on my bottom.
Sometimes his hand would gounder my skirt, sometimes it
would go in my underwear, andall I remember is that I froze.
(03:21):
I heard my voice wanting to saysomething to this man, to stop
or to ask for help, but Icouldn't.
And I think what was happeningwas like you said my soul was
(03:45):
outside my body, it wasprotected, it had to be detached
.
But it's also so hard to go backinto that, you know, for your
soul and your spirit to go backto that body, because it's such
a horrendous thing and theimpact that it had on me.
(04:10):
It wasn't one big impact, but itwas six years of almost every
day Going to school in themorning, coming back in the
afternoon, depending on the time, and it just still.
It still feels detached.
(04:31):
To be honest, catherine, if Ican go back a little bit, I
think we are hardwired to tryingto make sense of what happened
and even though the logic iswrong, if someone said something
, because our foundation hasbeen rattled, our own sense of
(04:52):
value, our rebirth has beenrattled, and at that point I
think it's gone into the voidalmost, and whatever information
comes in, we try to make senseof it and because if we can make
sense out of it, even thoughit's not right, maybe we feel
(05:12):
safe in some way and we kind ofrun with that for a long time
and we didn't set up ourboundaries again because that
has been violated.
We are in a very wrongworkplace with a new set of
information about ourselves and,yeah, I think it's just the
(05:39):
sense of birth part that getsvacuum sucked and, like you said
, you know it exposes us to anew something.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I feel that that best gift anyone who's experienced
this that they can givethemselves is be gentle with
that part of yourself, Becauseit really doesn't matter how old
you are when it happened orwhat exactly happened it
(06:24):
happened, and recognizing thatit happened in the feelings that
you have around it.
Those feelings are importantbecause they are a part of you
and they're true.
Yes, and the thing about thatpiece of it is, oftentimes, when
(06:47):
we go through a traumaticexperience, it's kind of like
when you're going through griefand you're mourning the loss of
something or someone you knowthere is this part of you that
is suffering a loss, right, andif you can get within your body
(07:11):
and identify where it's sittingand write that out, put it into
a journal and just say this iswhere I'm feeling it in my body
and then from there just focuson healing that part of your
body and restoring your body andmaking it whole, because over
(07:35):
and over and over they've donestudies about this and there is
so much healing power that wecan do for our own bodies.
Where you know we arevisualizing healing, I always
talk about envisioning light,light just radiating to that
center of whatever it is thatyou're feeling inside your body
(07:59):
and just think about thecellular structure and repairing
that.
And what you're doing with allof that is you're, literally,
without maybe even realizing,you're pouring so much love back
into yourself.
And the more that you pour thatlove back into yourself, the
(08:21):
more you're going to feel yourself worth because you're giving
yourself that love, and themore that you start to feel
yourself worth, the more you'regoing to recognize I don't have
to fill in the blank, I don'thave to lower myself to
something that's not making mehappy anymore.
(08:42):
I can actually put that outsidemy circle and focus on things
that do make me happy, whateverthat looks like.
It's so important to focus onthe healing of that, because the
more that you can do that, themore you're going to open up
(09:06):
your life and manifest exactlywhat it is that you want and
heal from it, instead of justgoing into avoidance mode and
pushing it down and then thatpart of you that's suffering
because it does sit in the body.
So that part of you that'ssuffering, we don't want that to
(09:28):
manifest into illness ordisease.
We really do want to remove itfrom the body.
So the best way to do that isget in tune with it and then
release it.
And journaling journaling is apowerful, powerful tool getting
it out of the body, justremoving it from your cellular
structure, releasing it.
(09:49):
And you know what, if you don'twant to ever look at that again
, rip out the pages, throw themaway, burn them, whatever.
At least you're getting it out.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Right, yeah, you touched on a lot of important
information just now and youknow, being a trauma informed
coach, coach myself we want tomove forward and have a
meaningful and fulfilling lifedespite trauma.
Trauma is not something thatwould that we eliminate, you
(10:27):
know.
It's always going to be there,we can't really forget it.
But we can move forward despitetrauma and we can adjust our
life in a better way that ismeaningful for us despite trauma
.
And there are a couple of stepsthat I also introduced in my,
(10:52):
you know, my course is thatbecause we go into relationships
and we repatterns and if thesexual trauma part is not healed
, there is a massive part of usthat is bleeding into the
unhealthy relationship patterns.
So it is coming back toourselves, with ourselves and
(11:17):
loving ourselves, all the flaws,all the uniqueness, all the
light, all the love.
But there's a story that is inour head that keeps repeating.
You know, is it true?
You know the belief.
There's a belief that is nottrue, because you know, you may
have heard, you know beliefbecomes thoughts, you know
(11:39):
thoughts become words and youknow words becomes actions and
action becomes habit and habitbecomes your life.
So we need to kind of backtrackand I call it unlearning, but
you know, unlearning thosebeliefs, unlearning, keep asking
ourselves why.
You know, is it true?
Is there any judgment aroundour own thoughts?
(12:04):
Because sometimes we feel andend up thinking like, oh, I
shouldn't think this way, butdoes it ring true to you?
And there are also parts.
Despite trauma, you are heretoday.
There's something within youthat was standing really strong.
That part is also true.
(12:26):
You know, what is the strength?
Despite those horrific eventshappening to you, what remained
alive?
Because you may not know it,but it was always there with you
.
What is that?
And I'd like to think thatthose are our core values.
(12:48):
You know, and I think that corevalues are like our spiritual
fingerprints.
You know, it's like intuitive,it's something that just does
not die.
It is with you from the momentyou're born until you leave this
place.
There are so many things thatwe can actually, even logically,
(13:10):
use our brain and bringeverything together the emotions
, our body, the spirituality andour brain, our heart, our guts.
You know everything, it has aplace and they're all here for
you.
And using all of that to helpyou, it really does move you
(13:33):
forward in a very healthy way.
It will heal, you will see thelove and light that you are.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah, it's beautiful how you just put all that out
the way that you did, and, as wego through our journey in life,
I think one of the things thatwas very profound for me with my
experience was I started torealize I wasn't the only one.
I started to realize that therewas really an army, an army of
(14:11):
people, right, but we don'treally talk about it.
We don't really hear about itbecause nobody's really bringing
it to the surface.
And one of the things that Ilove about 2020 is it did give
us this beautiful platform toput this out and have these
(14:32):
conversations, because, with thelockdown, people had to start
going into these deeper, youknow, pieces of their lives to
do this healing work, and I feellike this is one of those
pieces, right is addressing someof that.
And the other thing that 2020did is it brought a lot of grief
(14:53):
to the surface, and this is anelement of grief, right, because
this is a part of us, and whatwe know about grief is grief
loves to attach itself to otherthings, so other things that
you've stuffed down, that youdidn't grieve, and it just keeps
on attaching until somethinghits and then, all of a sudden,
(15:19):
everything's coming to thesurface and exploding.
And now we have to go throughthis process of grief.
But again, even with griefgetting back into our heart
space, getting back into thatheart center of love, it's.
(15:42):
It's okay to have these ebbsand flows, right, because that's
what grief is too.
So it's okay, even after theshow, to feel like you know,
that was a little bit hard tolisten to, but like it's okay,
right, because you are going toresurface again and it will be
(16:05):
okay.
You know it's just part of theprocess.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
And healing is a spiral.
It is so.
You know it might look big butyou know it's not going to be
forever like the ebbs and flowsand you will have a break.
And you know, when you havethat break you'll actually be
better.
And you know, those griefs anda lot of things that surface
(16:32):
that feels very uncomfortableare only really parts of you
that want to be heard by you andseeing by you with love and
compassion.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, and I've heard that before, that grief wants to
be heard and I feel like that'sso, so true, because even when
you lose a loved one, justhaving someone hear your pain
it's almost like it helps you torest a little bit easier and
(17:12):
feel okay because you're notalone.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Right, yeah, no, I think this is what we talked
about last time, and how itended was you're not alone.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Right yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
It's.
We meet a lot of people andthere are a lot of things that
people don't say and they don'tshare for various reasons.
But it is really interestingthat, man or woman, whatever you
are, you know we as humans, weshare the same emotions.
(17:50):
It really connects us,regardless of your background
and I find that fascinatingregardless of your background or
race or culture or age, that wefeel and we have words to these
(18:11):
emotions that connects us.
A loss for so much empathy, somuch compassion, even among
strangers, I think that's quiteprofound, you know, for humans
(18:32):
to have.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
It's so true.
I mean, we have so manylanguages around the world, and
isn't it funny how you could goto another country and smile at
a baby, and the baby knowsexactly what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yeah, has no boundaries.
No, you don't need boundariesfor smiles.
Yeah, I've learned a lot beingwith my second husband.
I've been with him for fouryears now and how he's a man,
(19:18):
but he's gone through a lothimself in his lifetime.
But what we want fundamentallyis really the same.
It is like connection andunderstanding, acceptance, love,
no feeling safe, respect, beingable to be honest and
(19:44):
vulnerable.
It's like, yes, that soundslike such common sense, but I do
find that it is quite true and,you know, I see hope in that,
because I come from Japan and hewas born in Race and Vancouver
(20:12):
and we still have thatconnection.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
It's remarkable how, during our journey, we have
these people that come into ourlives, that are assisting us
with our healing process and forsome people maybe they're not
ready to heal and they've turnedpeople away.
But when you know you're ready,you'll find those people and
(20:48):
they'll be there to help you andlove you and support you.
And I feel it's really thesingle most important thing is
to really get yourself into thatheart center and love yourself
first, because really this workis your work, so it's not like
somebody else is going to fixyou.
(21:08):
You have to do this foryourself.
But I know Tony Robbins alwayssays you know things don't
happen to you, they happen foryou and for some people that
could be triggering right,because it's like why you know?
Why would somebody say this?
But I'll be honest with you.
(21:31):
I have done a show for threeyears where people have taken
the worst of the worst and madeit the most beautiful thing that
they could have neverexperienced before.
You know, it's like there wassomething.
It was.
It's almost like turningsomething inside out and just
(21:53):
making it into something verybeautiful.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Right, I do feel, you know, there is a crossroad of
how some people find itdifficult to turn their lives
around and how some people doturn around, and I think the
difference may be if you can seesomething that is more
(22:20):
beautiful at the end of thetunnel on the other side of the
bridge, and if you can feel itand if that feels good, you walk
towards that direction.
And you know, there's nopromises really, but I think
there's a big part that we needto have faith, that we trust
(22:49):
that it will be better that wedon't.
You know, we don't know what'son the other side, but are we
able to believe, you know?
Have faith, and is that a bigenough and beautiful enough
reason to heal?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, Having faith through fear is very difficult
for anyone, especially when theyare in fear because it's all
these other stories that they'veattached to it.
And it's almost like you secondguess, right, you second guess
(23:31):
whether or not you can face thefear because you have all these
things and you have all thesefeelings.
And I go back to what I saidearlier.
The pivoting point for me wasjust recognizing that, where I
(23:52):
am as an adult and today,knowing what I know, I wouldn't
have made those same choices but, I, can also honor and love
that piece of me that did havethat experience, because that's
a younger version of myself andI can't be angry at that younger
(24:15):
version of myself.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
No, what happened?
I think there was actually, youknow, the logical brain kicked
in, and it's really important intrauma being, in trauma,
informed.
But fear is such a primal thing.
The brain reacts to fear a lotfaster, while like 0.00014 is
(24:39):
faster than our logic kicks in.
But being able to recognizethat I am an adult, I can ask
for help, I will ask for help ifI need to is in a way that you
know you regulated yourself andbecause I fear is such a primal
(25:04):
thing being able to distinguish,is it happening to me now?
Is this fear true?
Is it real fear or is it aperceived fear?
Those kind of things really,really help to create this
opportunity, to create thiswindow of being able to take one
(25:26):
breath.
You know it is one breath at atime.
It's not going to be amiraculous overnight.
I think maybe it will for some,but for most it isn't, you know
.
But it is one step at a time.
If you can do it for one second, that's great because you're
being able to do something thatyou weren't before.
That is a step forward, nomatter how small it is, it is a
(25:50):
step forward.
It is a step towards healing,it is a step towards feeling
safer.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
The thing that's coming to me, too is I think
it's really important to makemention, which we haven't really
discussed too much is thatsometimes we're in a situation
and it may or may not be anintimate situation or with our
partner but we may be in amoment where, all of a sudden,
(26:23):
our body is triggered and wedon't sometimes even know what's
going on in our brain, becausewe're like what just happened?
Like I just freaked out andstarted crying, or my body, you
know, got really stiff and tenseand I feel like I want to throw
up, or my skin feels like it'sgoing to crawl.
(26:45):
And I think it's important tomake mention because this is
part of the residual bodyresponse, right, because of that
cellular DNA memory that wehold on to with our bodies.
And it's really important tomake mention because when you're
(27:07):
experiencing that again, it'swhere you have to go into that
logic brain and remind yourselfwhere you are in the present,
like I'm here right now.
I'm not in that past experienceand recognizing that this is
(27:30):
something that happened to youbut it's not happening to you in
this moment.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Right when you mentioned cellular memory.
Is it like generational trauma?
Are you also talking aboutgenerational trauma that your
body or your spirit remembers?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I think it can be either or because there is
generational trauma, but thenthere's also the trauma that you
go through, and oftentimes Iuse the example of where were
you when you heard about 9, 11.
And immediately you can recallI was in this moment doing this
(28:10):
with these people.
All the details are there.
That is trauma, right, it justlooks and feels different, but
it's still trauma.
So when you when you can pullthat up that quickly, that fast,
that is trauma sitting in thecells of the body.
(28:32):
So sometimes, sometimes we cando that, we can recall it, and
sometimes we can't, and whateverthat may be like just
recognizing it and then bringingyourself present, bring
yourself back into the presentand being awareness of you know,
(28:52):
I'm here in this moment, liketaking the smells what can you
smell, what can you hear, whatcan you touch?
Just getting grounded with thepresent moment and recognizing
that is not like you're gettingthis reaction, but that's not
where you are right now.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Right, like trauma is not necessarily an event, but
you know it's an impact.
It's the impact that had onyour nervous system.
So you know.
That's why we can't reallycompare other people's trauma to
our own.
The same thing could happen totwo different people and they
(29:33):
would have a complete differentoutcome.
You know, I experienced the bignortheastern earthquake in
Japan in 2011, on March 11.
And there are people who arestill traumatized, rightfully so
and there are also people whohad turned their life around and
(29:55):
tried to make meaning of theirlives, and you know many people
went through that same event.
So it is an impact on you, butit had a different effect and
influence on people.
So I think what I want to sayis, if you are feeling that
(30:16):
trigger and that impact ortrauma, or it just comes out of
the grill, you don't need tocompare that with anyone.
You know it is that that's yourtruth, to recognize what's
happening to you.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah, there's.
So.
There's so many facets of thistopic that go in all different
directions, like you were sayingearlier, and I feel that at
some point when we could reallystart to begin our healing
(30:59):
process and really start to loveourselves and know that we're
safe and we're okay and insteadof being angry and turning
against ourselves, like reallythat's where we find that
freedom, we find that release,we find that sense of surrender.
(31:23):
And getting back to this groupof women that I started this
healing journey with, it wasreally astounding to me that we
go through six months of thisprocess, and I'm of the mindset
that one of my one of myspeakers had shared with me this
(31:47):
really great analogy, so I'mgoing to pull that one out right
now.
But he was talking about howscientists were studying animals
and they were trying to figureout how animals react when
there's a storm that's comingand there's some animals that
(32:08):
will just freeze.
They just freeze, they don'tknow what to do, so they just
freeze, or some animals will tryto run away from the storm.
But what's interesting is theydid a study about cows and
buffalo, and cows and buffaloare both pretty big creatures
(32:28):
and the study showed that whenthere was a storm coming, the
cows would just freeze.
They wouldn't go anywhere.
If you've ever heard the oldwives tale, you know it's going
to rain because the cows arelaying on the ground.
I'm not exactly sure thescience behind that, but that's
(32:50):
what they said.
The buffalo, however, theywould actually herd together,
they would come together, theywould all turn into the storm
and they literally would moveinto the storm as the storm was
happening.
And if you think about this,the buffalo are actually going
(33:13):
through the storm faster becausethey're facing it head on.
So their survival rate wasactually higher.
You know, it was just reallyinteresting that.
I thought to myself wow, I'vealways been a buffalo.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
That's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah, so I've always been a buffalo.
My whole life I've always beena buffalo.
So when I've been faced withsomething, it's like, all right,
let's go, because I knew I knewif I moved through it, I'd get
through it faster, and then I'dget to the other side.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
So interesting, you let it pass through.
You like, you just wait or yougo through it.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yes, you go through it yes.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
And there's no other way.
You're going to face it anyways.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Right.
So it is a choice.
It is a choice about what we dowith what we're responding to
and how we respond.
And getting back to this groupof women that were in this class
, I was floored because,remember, when I said before I
(34:29):
started this class I had beengoing through this whole process
of repressed memories surfacingand this divine event happened,
where I was invited to be partof this, and it was astounding
to me because I'm sitting thereand some of these women they did
(34:52):
go into prostitution, they didgo into self mutilation, self
harm.
I mean some of the stories thatI heard.
I was really heartbroken forsome of these people because it
just showed me a whole notherside, a whole nother level of
(35:14):
what their experience was.
And the interesting thing aboutthat is for one girl, she must
have been in her early 30s, butshe had somebody in college one
time do something that wassimilar to what you experienced
(35:35):
and it just derailed her in sucha massive way.
And again, it doesn't matterone time, one time, that's all
it takes is one time.
It's one too many.
It's one too many, exactly, butit's.
What do you do with this now?
(35:55):
What do you do with it now?
Do you let it consume you, doyou process and heal from it?
What do you do with it?
And it is a personal decision.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Right, it is, and it is so unfair that it is left to
us who experience it.
That's the choice now we haveto make that.
We didn't want to, but we haveto.
That's very unfair.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
But then I also look at the opportunity to pour love
into ourselves and to learnsomething new about ourselves,
and you so beautifully sharedhow your life transformed as a
result.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
It did.
It really did.
I think my self-worth was verylow since I was a child because
that part there's childemotional abuse.
That took place when I wasgrowing up.
So my sense of worth was low tobegin with and it just ripple
(37:12):
affected everything that I did.
Boundaries were very lowself-acceptance, self-confidence
, self-esteem, self-everythingno, it all was low.
But I think the turning pointwas when I had kids and my
(37:33):
children my older one had houselearning differences and whatnot
.
So I was, I guess, forced toface how do I raise this child
authentically without having tomake him something that he's not
(37:53):
and I accept him and he acceptshimself for who he is.
So it was easier to do for mychildren than it was for myself.
So because I wanted to show andlead by example.
That was when I became abuffalo.
(38:19):
Like okay, let's do it.
Let's face whatever crap wasthrown at me and went through
and I'm going to take care of it.
So a big portion of it wastaken care of.
But I'll be honest, you know,like healing is a spiral.
I just went through somethingmyself personally, that my sense
(38:44):
of boundaries was still in someparts of my life lacking.
And you know, going throughthat I had to go through it
logically first, because itshows up in your body and
emotions.
You know I had a completebreakdown.
I cried, I sobbed for a longtime and, you know, anger
(39:07):
surfaced.
That's the funny thing.
I had anger issues in adifferent way, that I couldn't
feel angry and I think, for thefirst time in my life the past
two weeks, I felt anger andanger had a message.
(39:27):
It was hurt, it was the feelingthat I wanted to feel when my
boundaries were disrespected,when they were violated.
But because I was in that freezone, anger decided to subside
(39:48):
and you know, like you weretalking about earlier, it took
decades for it to resurfaceagain.
But we can't keep it suppressedbecause we're actually missing
out on what we can actually feel.
You know the good stuff, youknow the love and all those good
(40:11):
stuff that are in our lives.
I was missing out on it.
So, yeah, it's definitelyuncomfortable to you know, be a
buffalo and face it's such agood analogy.
You're welcome, face that storm, but again, it's not forever
(40:39):
Right and it can be dealt with,you know.
That's why there are so manypeople.
If you start looking, there arepeople who will and can't help
you.
Maybe they can't help you witheverything, but they have their
specialties in certain areas.
So you know, look for them andthey are there for you.
(41:01):
Again, no one has to do thisalone.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Right.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Right, no one wants you.
You know like we certainlydon't want people to do this
alone.
They don't have to.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Right.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
I think, overall, the most important thing you can do
is just recognize where you arein this moment and just start
to pour into yourself that selflove and compassion and grace
and just come from your heart,centered space and really
(41:45):
recognize that you're not aloneand that is an overarching
message.
I feel like, literally I justfeel right now there's so many
people hurting on the planet andif you're listening to this
(42:06):
message right now, like there'sso much love going out to you
and you probably can feel thatbecause both myself and Reno are
empaths, so we are definitelyaffected in a lot of times.
You know people in this realmof life.
(42:27):
We are the sensitive ones, weare the ones that really take
those deeper hits.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
But I don't see that as a weakness, I see that as a
strength, an incredible strength.
So even bravery.
Yes, yes, yes.
So if there's anyone listeningright now that has been affected
by this or know someone, ormaybe you know you're raising
(43:00):
children and maybe that childjust needs to know, they can
come to you if this happens tothem, because I think often
those conversations aren't hadthe parenting conversations of.
If this were to happen to you,please know you can talk to me,
(43:26):
and the thing that I wish Ialways asked this question to my
guests if you know, what wouldyou tell your younger self?
What I would have told theadults in my life is believe me,
believe me and make me feelsafe.
(43:48):
Help me to feel safe and knowthat I am okay, I am protected,
I am okay.
Believe me and then advocatefor me, because I wasn't able to
do that for my own self.
Right, how interesting it isthat a little girl that grew up
(44:10):
with her grandparents thatliterally got up in the morning
and had breakfast and wasshipped outside and came in for
lunch and shipped outside andcame in for dinner and then went
off to bed and, had I used myvoice, there would have been
repercussions because the peoplein my life, I was programmed.
(44:35):
You're not supposed to speak.
You're a child, you are to besilenced, you are just to be
seen.
You are not supposed to talk,and I find it really amazing
that now I'm talking to theworld Right.
So, but there's so.
(44:57):
There's so much, so much that Ifeel people really need to know
and that it's okay, it really isokay, and just give yourself
grace or give your child graceor a child that needs you give
them grace.
And I, later in life, was at afamily function and one of my
(45:26):
family members came up to me andsaid to me I'm so sorry that I
didn't believe you, I'm so sorry.
And I literally thought tomyself it's okay, because in
(45:47):
that moment, at that time,during that period of time, it
was a different time.
Right, it's like these thingsweren't talked about, but the
fact that they recognized it,the fact that they could come to
me decades later andacknowledge and see me and
(46:09):
validate me and say I'm sorry,my goodness, yeah, and not that
I needed that, I really didn'tneed that, but it was just
really a milestone moment, right, wow.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yeah, and I think I wish that would happen to all of
us and I think, unfortunately,many of us may not have that
given to us.
But I was kind of thinking as Iwas listening to you what did I
(46:54):
do, or what did I want tobecome?
I think I became the person Iwish I had, and that person
would make me feel safe, heard,understood, held, you know,
loved, like all of those thingsI wish I had.
(47:15):
I think through that journey,this journey I have become and I
am becoming more and more of, Ithink that's quite if I may say
so myself, that's quiteempowering.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
It definitely is empowering.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Yeah, it's kind of like you know, when you
experience something when you'reyoung and you're like you know
what, I don't like thatexperience.
I will never do that again or Iwill not replicate that in any
capacity.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Right.
So it's similar to that, soit's very empowering it is yeah,
it's like I watch my parents dothings or you know other people
do things and think I wouldnever do that.
But it's just a flip side of it, I agree.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Is there anything coming to you that you feel like
we haven't talked about oryou've heard?
Maybe is on your heart that weshould address?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
One thing you said when we just started this
conversation was bridging andco-creating, and that still
speaks quite loud to me, and Ithink what it is is by healing,
(48:49):
like you and I have cometogether and we are co-creating
something together.
You know, through our journey,through our healing and I think
you know what your listenersthat's I feel you know we're on
a path of co-creating better,co-creating more love,
(49:14):
co-creating with light and likethis we're bridging.
You know, you and I, we havebecome a bridge and hopefully,
you know, with your listeners,we become a bridge with them and
they create even more bridgeswith others.
There's so much hope andpossibility and so much beauty
(49:39):
in that.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
The most amazing gift that this platform has given is
the opportunity to really helpone another raise that
vibrational energy space.
Because when we think aboutthose lower vibrational energies
(50:04):
of, think of fear, hatred, youknow these lower vibrational
energies.
They are energy zapping to usright and learning the tools and
ways to get out of that stateand go into a higher state.
And the more that we do thatit's really profound, because
(50:29):
that higher energy stateactually is lifting other people
, and the more that we can dothat as a collective, it just it
radiates, right, it's thatrippling effect and it does
radiate and it's one of thereasons why I'm always amazed at
going through this process andmeeting my guests and having
(50:54):
these conversations and justhaving this opportunity to, like
you said, build these bridgesaround the world and help people
and help people grow and learn.
And, for anyone who's listening, please go on to the Retreat to
Peace website and share yourtestimony how we have helped you
or you know something that ison your heart, because it really
(51:18):
is a testimony of all of us ashumanity.
And right now we are in atremendous world of change.
We're in a season of winter andwe don't know how long winter is
going to last.
But the thing that is so, soimportant is that we are
(51:44):
protecting our soul, because oursoul is energy and that's why
that energy field is soimportant.
So we want to bring it out ofthose lower vibrational energy
states and bring it into thehigher vibrational energy states
, because our souls are energyand we have to as a world
(52:06):
because of this full-onbombardment that we're
experiencing, and it's comingfrom all directions.
And if we can do anything, theslightest thing, if there's
something that you can take awayfrom listening to the show and
(52:27):
share it with someone you loveor use it for yourself, I mean
there's so much empowerment inthat and it's so needed.
I mean, as we're speaking rightnow, the sewer side rates are
going up.
You know the death and thegrief and all of these things,
(52:47):
and this is why it's soimportant that really we lock
arms as a humanity to reallylike literally in my head I can
see humans all holding handsaround the globe and I feel kind
of like that UNICEF logo orwhatever with the children, but
(53:09):
I feel like that's where we areright now.
I do.
I feel like this is just.
This is just like it has to bedone.
Speaker 2 (53:18):
Right, right, right, yeah, more than ever, yeah, and
again, you know, I just feelthat we are so connected.
I can see that too.
Right now I'm closing my eyes,but I can see, I can feel it.
And you know, if you'relisteners, maybe they feel alone
(53:42):
, but you're not.
You know, we love you, we loveyou deeply, deeply.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
Yeah, so much.
For some reason, I'm justfeeling so much love right now.
Speaker 1 (54:10):
It's beautiful.
It really is, it's beautifuland, as I say, we're two or more
gathered right, so, yeah, it'sjust really beautiful.
So I have to thank you so, somuch for your courage.
I know in our first interviewyou just briefly touched on this
topic and I know, after we hadtalked, it just made a lot of
(54:34):
sense to bring this topic tolight and I'm so glad that we
did.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for having me again.
You know your podcast isorganic and I love how it ended
on, you know, with love and that, yes, you know we're not like
dismissing or minimalizing thepain anyone is going through.
(55:03):
You know those are all real,but there is light on the other
end.
You know there is, there,really is, and I really really
hope.
You know, if you think for amoment, is there, the answer is
(55:25):
yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:28):
Yeah, and just like the buffalo going through the
storm.
I never realized that there wasthis analogy until recently.
But, like, my motto has alwaysbeen just keep moving, just keep
moving, just keep moving,because it was a survival
instinct for me to get throughwhatever it was I was getting
(55:53):
through.
And I remember being in thatcloset at three years old with
my brother and you know, mymother locks the door, the
closet shelf falls on top of ourhead and I just remember
looking at the bottom of thecloset door and the floor and
seeing that light and I knew howimportant that light was and I
(56:19):
knew it was extremely important,right, and that's something
that has always stayed with me.
It's like always go to the light, always keep moving towards the
light because it is there.
It's like it's like, you know,you have to go through a storm
(56:39):
to see the rainbow and get tothe other side where the sun is
shining again, and sometimes ittakes a little bit longer than
other times, but you have tokeep going.
Yes, you just have to keepgoing, you have to.
Speaker 2 (56:54):
You have to.
Yes, and it will be okay.
It will be just.
You know one more step, onebreath at a time.
You know one breath at a time,one step at a time, and that's
praiseworthy.
Right, and look at that step.
You kept breathing, you knowyou did it, You're doing it, and
(57:22):
maybe look up to the sky.
It's there.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
Yeah, I do that all the time.
Look up to the sky and peoplethat are close to me they laugh
at me because I'll notice allthe birds and they'll always be
surprised, like how does she dothat?
And I think, well, it's becauseI'm, you know, constantly
(57:49):
looking up to where the light is.
And it's, you know, it's justreally amazing when you can be
in awareness that we aresurrounded by love and light.
We are surrounded by so muchbeauty and we're all divinely
protected and no matter whatyour belief system is,
(58:11):
universally everyone believesthat same thing.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Yes, and we are divinely connected.
Speaker 1 (58:17):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (58:18):
If you can think, then yes, we're connected.
Speaker 1 (58:21):
Yes, absolutely, you know.
Thank you so so much.
Thank you for having me and, asyou know, at the end of this
show I ask if I were to pick upyour earth angel feather off the
ground, what would your messageto the world be in this moment?
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Keep believing and guess there is hope.
If you're thinking is therehope?
That's enough, it's telling youthere is.
Speaker 1 (59:00):
Yeah, and that's so important to remember is that
there's always hope.
There's always hope.
You just have to find it.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
Yeah, and you don't have to do it at all.
Speaker 1 (59:13):
Exactly, exactly.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you again and for all of
my listeners, this is CatherineDaniels, with Retreat to Peace,
reminding you to live yourauthentic life in peace.
And, as always, retreat toPeace and we'll see you next
time.
Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
You.
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