Rewilding Love

Meet Alicia and Mateo, the couple in crisis who we’ll be following for the first season. Alicia was devastated when Mateo presented her with divorce papers. She wondered how they got to this point. Seven years ago, they were saying “I love you” on their first date. Mateo thought marriage would fix all of their problems, but now he feels like he’s made the biggest mistake of his life. Can Rohini and Angus help them rewild the love t...

The blame game is in full effect as Alicia and Mateo each have their very separate realities and see the other party as wrong. Mateo blames Alicia’s temper for his habit of shutting down, and Alicia blows up when she feels like she’s the only responsible one in the relationship or the only one who cares. Their lack of empathy and understanding about the other person's point of view results in their polarization. This wedge bet...

Though Alicia and Mateo are on guard with each other, Rohini and Angus begin to explore the deeper feelings of love and wellbeing present in both of them. Mateo vacillates between the loving feelings in his heart and the pestering thoughts in his mind, as Angus helps surface a glimmer of Mateo’s true feelings for Alicia. Alicia expresses her admiration for who Mateo is as a person -- she wishes he saw himself the way she sees him. ...

Alicia has an insight about not taking things personally. Luckily, she already has examples in her life where she feels immune to what Mateo says to her, and seeing that she doesn’t always take what he says personally allows her to see her own role in her reactivity. Rohini helps guide Alicia toward the truth of where her experience is always coming from, that we can only ever feel our own thinking, not circumstances. Together they...

Mateo reveals that he does in fact want the relationship to work, but only if Alicia changes. Angus points Mateo toward the fact that his experience is created from within, independent of Alicia, and that ultimately she cannot touch his wellbeing. Mateo is reluctant but is starting to see the role that his mood plays in how he interprets Alicia’s actions.

Angus points out that Mateo is a deep-thinker, which can be a great ...

Alicia reveals to Rohini that she felt completely blindsided by Mateo's unhappiness in their relationship. She blames Mateo and struggles to examine her own role in the status of the relationship. Rohini helps Alicia to let go of judgments that create the experience of shame for her so she can peel back the layers of denial and see how her reactivity has been pushing Mateo away. 

With her guard down, Alicia begins to ...

Mateo experiences a dramatic shift in perspective. By exploring some of his more irrational thoughts about Alicia, he begins to see how the discord in their relationship is a "monster of his own making." Low moods look for something (or someone) they can hang themselves on. But as soon as we start to blame someone else for our feelings, we disempower ourselves and become the victim to the very thing (or person) we're...

Rohini broaches the subject of divorce, recognizing that Alicia's fear of the relationship ending is part of what fuels her volatility. If Alicia can make self-honoring choices, it will be better for her and the relationship, and the key is to make decisions about the next steps from a place of inner calm and wellbeing instead of fear. The Rewilders don't view the ending of a relationship as a failure, rather their work c...

Mateo's mind has settled down dramatically. But now that he's in this good feeling, he wants the manual on how to keep it. The problem is, it's his escape from the intellect, from the "how-to", that's helping him live in this better feeling, and pulling the intellect back in to try and figure out how to package and repurpose the feeling, will take him further away from it. There isn't a magic how-...

Alicia is on fire, using metaphors left and right to describe the nearly continuous flow of insights she's experiencing. With Rohini relating this understanding to Alicia's pre-established worldview (Christianity), Alicia can see clearly the power of letting God -- or the intelligence behind life -- take over in times of distress (and any time really) instead of relying on the intellect and her previous tendency to overth...

Alicia, Mateo, Rohini, and Angus come back together for part one of their group session following the breakaway phase of the weekend intensive. We hear what can be described as a celebration and confirmation of the insights Mateo and Alicia have uncovered during their time with the Rewilders. They both reflect on past upset from a new perspective, while discussing a recent dinner out that would have "gone south" before th...

The Rewilders meet with Alicia and Mateo to discuss more key relationship takeaways all together again. Mateo comes in with thinking inspired by his risk analysis background, as he starts to reach out for the how-to guide once more. The Rewilders help him recall that his wisdom will help guide him in the moment. Alicia sounds ready to go home and practice this new understanding in their relationship -- she feels confident that they...

The Rewilders meet separately with Alicia and Mateo for follow up sessions after they've returned home from the intensive. At first, things sound resoundingly positive on both ends. Mateo has found massive success getting through to his team at work by incorporating what he learned about state of mind and presence. And Alicia is successful with not being reactive especially before holding important conversations with Mateo.

**Warning: This episode contains strong graphic language, discussions of sexual situations and it addresses sexual abuse. If you are sensitive to this subject matter, please skip this episode.**

The Rewilders are picking up the pieces after leaving listeners with a total cliffhanger in last week's episode when they had just found out from Alicia that Mateo did want to renew their rental lease. Rohini and Angus continu...

Angus and Rohini create a safe space for Mateo and Alicia to meet for a much-needed conversation about Mateo's past trauma and how it's impacted his life and their relationship. Mateo fears Alicia will be enraged at him when he shares about his recent sexual experiences outside of their relationship but is shocked to find she has a different response. Alicia has renewed her relationship with her spirituality, and she cred...

Rohini and Angus close out their journey with Alicia and Mateo by answering listener questions in this hilarious and informative episode. They draw upon personal experiences and client stories to answer the in depth questions they received.

Among other things, the Rewilders clarify for listeners the difference between accepting bad behavior and not taking it personally. They never advocate for people to stay in an abusive ...

We had a great time interviewing our friend and colleague Dr. Amy Johnson about the nature of thought and how it impacts our relationships. As Amy points out, we're all in relationship with our thinking about other people and our thinking about ourselves. We can't be in direct relationship with anyone without experiencing them through thought.

Amy shares how seeing the role of thought in her life, helped her rela...

Rob Cook takes us on an epic journey through his life, from being born and raised in the housing projects of Birmingham, Alabama, to 21 years of active duty service in the military, to moving to L.A. and becoming a transformational life coach. 

He humbly shares about transitioning from living like he thought he should, to living as a man can -- as a person in touch with their essential nature. Rob takes pages from his past...

We had the pleasure of sitting down with our dear friend and coach Erika Bugbee. Erika's wisdom is evident in every word she expresses. We cover topics like parenting teens (or children of any age), marriage, and relationships of all forms (even the ones with your in-laws). 

Erika skillfully uncovers two fundamental keys to having success in any relationship. Showing restraint when we'd rather tear into our partn...