May 18, 2025 • 35 mins
Breaking free from unforgiveness may be one of the most challenging yet transformative journeys in our spiritual lives. This powerful message delves into why Jesus commands us to forgive "seventy times seven" and how this limitless forgiveness creates freedom—not for those who wrong us, but for ourselves.
Through heartfelt personal stories and biblical insights, we explore the parable of the unforgiving servant from Matthew 18, discovering how our refusal to forgive others creates an emotional prison where we become chained to past offenses. Most surprisingly, the people we're upset with often have no idea we're harboring these feelings, while we continue drinking the poison of bitterness, expecting them to suffer the consequences.
Forgiveness doesn't mean excusing hurtful behavior or pretending pain didn't happen. It's about releasing the debt—declaring "you don't owe me anymore"—so that we can experience spiritual and emotional freedom. This choice rarely happens once; it requires daily discipline as we continuously surrender our hurt at the foot of the cross.
When we consider Jesus's sacrifice—the ultimate act of forgiveness—we're reminded of the immeasurable grace we've received. Our question becomes not "Do they deserve forgiveness?" but rather "Am I willing to release this burden for my own freedom?"
Take a moment today to ask: Who have I been holding in the prison of my bitterness? What emotional debt am I trying to collect? Remember, Jesus forgave us not because we earned it, but because He wanted us to be free. Will you extend that same liberating grace to others?
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
While we're on the Holy smokes, this thing is on a
roll this morning.
Does anybody else have a praisereport while we're going?
Once, yes, jenny and Marcusmoved in like under 24 hours.
I don't know how they did it,but they did it.
Any others no?
Alright, well then, let's getstarted.
I'm going to ask you guys tostand with me again one more
(00:23):
time as we read this openingscripture.
We're going to be in Matthew 18, 21 and 22.
It says Then Peter came to himand asked Lord, how often should
I forgive someone who sinsagainst me?
Seven times, no, not seventimes.
Jesus replied, but 70 times.
(00:43):
Seven.
Amen, amen you may be seated.
No, not seven times, jesusreplied, but 70 times.
Seven.
Amen, amen you may be seated.
How many of us have ever carriedaround bitterness towards
somebody else?
Like, just sits there, youcan't even look at them, right.
Sometimes you see their faceand you want to hug them real
(01:06):
tight around the neck with twohands Right.
And a lot of times we feel thatbitterness and we don't even
realize the struggle that we'rehaving internally.
We blame them for ourunforgiveness, right.
We blame them because of whatthey have done.
We blame them because theydidn't say sorry, right?
My question to you is how oftendo they actually know that
(01:30):
you're upset with them?
Now, I'm not saying like, readbetween the lines know that
you're upset with them.
Have you ever given somebodythe cold shoulder?
When you're upset with them,like I'm just not going to take
your phone calls or I'm going toignore you, or I'm going to
pretend like we're not friendsright now, why are you pointing
at your husband, jenny?
(01:50):
Oh, she does it to him.
Okay, well, at least sheadmitted it.
A lot of times we do that.
The other person doesn't evenknow why we're upset, right?
I have a joke that you know.
The number one way to knowwhether or not you're mad at
your spouse is whether or notthey're speaking to you, right?
So my wife and I don't reallydo the silent game, but
occasionally it happens, and theonly way to break that is with
something incredibly obvious,right?
(02:11):
So if you and your spouse areat a different space, for
whatever reason, you know, a lotof times I'll text my wife and
be like hey, is the stove stillworking?
There's no reason for the stovenot to be working, but I just
need to see if she's going totalk to me, right?
Ever been there.
Sometimes you have to go withthe obvious and ease your way
(02:33):
into the conversation.
Amen, Listen, that's how I livemy life.
You got to dip a toe.
I don't want to get beat upwhen I get home.
I got to ask the question.
Every hurtful word, everybetrayal, every disappointment
weighs us down just a little bitmore.
Amen, man, disappointment's abig word and I don't think.
(02:56):
A lot of times we think aboutwhat disappointment actually
means, right?
So I get disappointed by a lotof things, but more often than
not I'm disappointed whensomebody doesn't show up the way
that I feel like they shouldshow up.
Now, I don't mean physically,but sometimes I'm having a bad
day and somebody knows I'mhaving a bad day and they're not
.
Hey, man, I'm praying for you.
(03:17):
They're just like.
They pretend like it doesn'texist, because sometimes that's
easier to do than to pray.
And I realize that a lot oftimes that disappointment is
because I don't always vocalizewhat it is that I need in my
flesh or in my spirit in orderto move on right.
That's hard to think about,it's hard to comprehend, but
(03:40):
it's true.
Jesus has invited us to lay thatburden down.
Amen.
When did he invite us to laythat burden down.
When he died on the cross, hecarried that to the cross for
you and I.
Now, today, I need to tell yousomething I don't forgive you so
(04:04):
that you will be forgiven.
I forgive you so that I don'thold on to unforgiveness.
I am releasing you from thedebt so that I'm not carrying a
hard heart.
I am releasing you of the debt,not so that you will be free,
but so that I will be free.
Amen, because when I go to theLord and I say explore my heart,
(04:27):
look for the things that I'mholding on to, he finds a lot of
unforgiveness.
He finds a lot of unjustdisappointment.
Right, the thing is, jesustells us that we have to forgive
that, not seven times, but 70times seven.
(04:50):
Now, this isn't about exactmouth math.
What he's saying is keepforgiving.
There isn't a number.
This isn't attainable, right,we just have to continue to say
I am blessed and highly favored.
I don't need to hold on to this, because I want the blessings
of God to be poured out upon me.
If my heart is hard and if I'mignoring the things that God has
(05:16):
told me, then I cannot receivethe blessings openly.
Amen, all right, I've gotanother passage of scripture for
you.
We're going to go to Matthew,chapter 18 again, but we're
actually going to go to 23 thistime.
We're going to read 23 through35.
It says therefore, the kingdomof heaven can be compared to a
king who has decided to bringhis accounts up to date with the
(05:38):
servants who have borrowedmoney from him.
Sounds like the IRS.
Right, you get that tax bill.
They're like all right, pay upIn the process.
Right, you get that tax bill.
They're like all right, pay upIn the process.
One of his debtors was broughtin who owed him millions of
dollars.
Say millions?
Anybody here owe millions ofdollars?
I didn't think so.
That's a lot of money to owe,right?
Millions of dollars he couldn'tpay.
(06:04):
So his master ordered that hebe sold, along with his wife,
his children and everything heowned, to pay the debt.
But the man fell down beforehis master and begged him.
Please be patient with me and Iwill pay it all.
The master was filled with pityfor him and he released him and
(06:25):
forgave all of his debt.
Praise Jesus, praise Jesus.
But there's always a but.
When the man left the king, hewent to a fellow servant who
owed him a few thousand dollars,say thousand dollars.
Thousands is a lot less than amillion, right, I won't ask how
(06:47):
many of us owe thousands ofdollars, because if you own a
house, chances are you owethousands of dollars.
He grabbed him by the throatand demanded instant payment.
His fellow servant fell downbefore him and begged for a
little more time.
Be patient with me and I willpay it, he pleaded.
But his creditor wouldn't wait.
He had the man arrested and putinto prison until the debt
(07:11):
could be paid in full.
When some of the other servantssaw this, they were very upset
and they went to the king andthey told him everything that
had happened.
Then the king called in the manhe had forgiven and said you,
evil servant, I forgave you thattremendous debt because you
(07:32):
pleaded with me.
Shouldn't you have mercy onyour fellow servant, just as I
had mercy on you?
Then the angry king sent theman to prison to be tortured
until he paid his entire debt.
That's what my heavenly fatherwill do to you if you refuse to
(07:54):
forgive your brothers andsisters from your heart.
Amen, that's a big statement.
Heart, amen, that's a bigstatement.
Forgiveness is probably one ofthe easiest things for us to
hold on to, and most of the timewe don't even realize we're
doing it because it'ssubconscious Right Now.
(08:18):
So there was a prophecy a whileback that the men of this
church would be woken in thenight with visions, right, and I
have been, I'll say, blessed toreceive that.
And the statement I was wokenthe other night I actually woke
my wife up to tell her was thisI am not forgiving the debt for
(08:43):
your sake, I am forgiving thedebt for my sake.
It was the exact line that Godhad given me.
I'm talking like three in themorning woke me up with that
line.
Now, here's the thing.
I usually go oh, I'll rememberthat.
And I roll over and go back tosleep, right, and I rolled over
and tried to go back to sleepand he's like you're going to
get up, you're going to write itdown, you're going to get up,
you're going to write it down,you're going to get up, you're
(09:03):
going to.
And so, finally, I got up and Iwrote it down, my phone's,
right beside the bed.
All I had to do was type it inmy note, right?
But I kept fighting it, I keptfighting it and I kept fighting
it because I don't want to letit go right.
I want to hold on to thatunforgiveness because it is
easier to look at somebody andsay I don't trust that person
(09:27):
because I can't forgive them forthe thing that they did.
That's happening in my liferight now, right now.
Listen, every time I would tellmy wife about it she laughs at
me.
I'm like I can't help it.
She's like you're ridiculous.
She's like I knew, you, knewyou still did it and now you're
mad about it.
I'm like, yeah, I am a littlebit.
And she said get over it.
And I said, but I can't.
(09:52):
And she said then shut up aboutit because I don't want to hear
about it anymore.
And I said that's fair.
And I shut up about it and thenI wrote a message about it.
She can't tell me to shut upnow.
But here's what I learned, thatup now.
But here's what I learned thatforgiveness is causing chaos in
my life.
That person doesn't even knowI'm upset with them.
(10:14):
They're walking through la-laland just happy as a lark,
because they have no idea thatI'm upset and I'm upset because
of a decision that I made right.
Listen, I believe that I cantrust everybody in this room at
all times, right Now.
Sometimes people proveotherwise, but I have to learn
to forgive that.
I don't always have to forgetit, I have to.
(10:36):
Okay, that happened and I'mgoing to remember that and I'm
going to trust you with a littleless, that's fair, but I'm
still going to love you just thesame.
That's the hard part, right?
Because, see, my struggle rightnow is that when I think about
the situation, I realize I don'tlove that person the way that I
(10:56):
should.
When I see them and I thinkabout them, I'm like I could
really probably go the rest ofmy life with never seeing them
again and I would be completelyokay with that.
You guys are all sitting in aroom going.
I wonder who he's talking about.
I ain't gonna tell you, but Iknow this Roger raises his hand,
probably me.
I know that I cannot walk inthe will of God, I cannot walk
(11:19):
in the blessings and in thefavor of God if I continue to
hold on to this unforgiveness.
So, as I've thought about itand as I've reflected about it,
I have to remember how muchgrace God has given me.
Why is Jesus so serious aboutforgiveness?
Right, he's serious because heliterally went to the cross so
(11:52):
that we would be forgiven, thatour sins would be forgiven.
There was.
It's his love language.
That's weird to think aboutright death as a love language.
He was willing to die so thatyou and I might have everlasting
life in the kingdom of God.
We would have forgiveness fromall of the sin through his death
(12:14):
on the cross, and yet we walkaround not forgiving other
people.
Heck, sometimes we can't evenforgive ourselves, right?
Listen, last Sunday's message.
I preached that message.
I stepped out of the pulpit.
I was so upset with myself.
I said I didn't do that wordjustice.
I had a message.
I stepped out of the pulpit.
I was so upset with myself.
I said I didn't do that wordjustice.
I had a message, I had a planand it didn't come out the way
that I wanted it to.
And the following day I'dgotten a text from somebody that
said that they really liked themessage and they'd been around
(12:35):
for a while.
So they had experienced lots ofMother's Day messages and it's
somebody that I respect greatlyand I was like man alive.
You realize something sometimesGod's not using me, so I'll feel
good.
He's using me so you'll get theword Right, so that you'll
learn.
It's hard for me standing uphere.
I've got notes.
For a reason I put thistogether, for a reason.
(12:58):
I couldn't let it go, but Godknew that.
So he knew he was going to haveto intervene if he wanted me to
be able to keep moving right.
I'm thankful that he isgraceful, that he gives me lots
of grace, lots of mercy, becauseI'll tell you what you guys,
this would be hard for me everyweek if he didn't, because I
would be trying to figure outwhat is it that he's trying to
(13:20):
say.
I would always be questioningwhat it is that God is doing.
We didn't earn God's grace, wedon't deserve God's grace, but
he gave it to us freely Amen,freely, he gave it to us.
Ephesians 4.32 says instead bekind to each other tenderhearted
(13:40):
.
Be kind to each othertenderhearted, forgiving one
another, just as God, throughChrist, has forgiven you, just
as Christ has forgiven you.
Think about that.
God has forgiven us through thedeath of our Savior.
(14:01):
And here we are, a big old sackof flesh thinking we have a
right to hold on tounforgiveness towards other
people, thinking that somehow wehave a right to hold on to
unforgiveness.
Now here's the thing I want todescribe what unforgiveness is.
This doesn't mean that somebodyhas done wrong to you and that
(14:23):
you're upset with them and thatyou're holding on to that type
of unforgiveness.
Sometimes unforgiveness is justsimply not being able to trust
somebody, or simply looking atsomebody and saying I don't like
their vibe.
Right, I'll tell you right now,god doesn't like my vibe some
days, but I am covered in graceand sometimes when I screw up, I
(14:46):
count on him to come back andsay hey, listen, I need you to
straighten up a little bit.
Do you know how hard it is towalk up to somebody?
I did this to somebody.
I sent him a text message and Isaid hey, I just want to
apologize to you for somethingthat happened three years ago.
I'm being serious, I did it andI was like I don't feel like I
gave you the respect that youdeserved in this moment.
(15:08):
And they responded with ittakes a big man to forgive
somebody for something afterthree years that I didn't even
know had happened.
Right, but I wasn't doing itfor them, I was doing it for me,
because I was sitting on it, Iwas holding on to it and I knew
that what I was doing was wrong,but I didn't want to admit it
because my pride had gotten inthe way.
(15:32):
Pride will be our fall.
Pride will be because we alwaysthink we have to have the next
best thing.
And the next best thingsometimes is shiny, right, and
it's pretty and it looks good.
And then all of a sudden youhave it and it's not good, it's
rotten in the middle and youtake that first bite and you
realize just how rotten itreally is.
Amen, all right.
(15:54):
Unforgiveness isn't justspiritual disobedience, it's
emotional and mentalimprisonment.
We imprison ourselves to theemotional side of unforgiveness.
How many of us are living inprison today?
Those chains are thick.
(16:15):
I can rattle the bars right.
I went to an escape room acouple of months ago with my
team from work and I'll tell youI'm not built for that stuff.
I'm just not Because you haveto learn to trust people and I
wanted to second checkeverything that everybody else
did right.
Because, like, if you have toknow a combination and I know
(16:37):
that you don't know how to worka combination lock, like my wife
cannot work a combination lockto save her life, I'm not going
to let her do the combinationlock right.
I want to double check it.
So, but listen, we get in there.
It's a pirate themed escaperoom and it's a tiny room.
I mean, it's probably as big ashalf of this stage.
That's it.
There are 10 of us in this roomand we're just bumping into each
(17:00):
other and there's a key hangingon the back wall through these
prison bars.
I'm like we need to get thatkey.
That key has to mean somethingright and I'm fixated on that
key.
I'm yanking on these bars.
There's this little thing onthe front that looks like it
should open up.
It's on hinges and I justcouldn't get it to do anything.
And one of the other guys cameover and he grabs a hold of the
(17:23):
bars and he lifts up on them andwouldn't you know, as soon as
he lifts up up on him, thatblock on the front slides out.
Now, we were stuck in that, notstuck.
They don't actually lock thedoor because you know fire code.
But we were in that room and Ihad to depend on other people to
(17:43):
help me see what I needed tosee, right, I was looking at
those bars like they're stoppingme from what I need to get to.
I've got to figure this out inorder to have what it is that I
need.
I am stuck in prison every day,that I'm willing to hold on to
unforgiveness.
I can see the light through thebars.
I can see that there issomething on the other side that
(18:04):
I desperately want, but I don'tknow how to get to it, because
my heart is prideful, right.
My flesh wants to hold on tothe things of the world.
It wants to hold on to theunforgiveness, because as long
as I hold on to that, I can havea reason to not talk to you.
Am I the only one that's evernot talked to somebody because
(18:27):
they're upset with them?
Listen, every time I findmyself in that situation and
listen, there are awkwardsilences still right, because
your mind doesn't want to let goof it.
But I know my spirit doesn'twant to hold on to it anymore.
(18:49):
I know that my spirit doesn'twant to hold on to it anymore.
I've told you guys, thisbitterness is like drinking
poison but waiting for the otherperson to die.
Right, that's thatunforgiveness that we're holding
on to.
I'm upset with you because of.
I don't trust you because of,and every time my mind thinks it
, I take a shot of poison andI'm just waiting for you to die.
But slowly on the inside, myspirit is dying right.
(19:11):
Listen, spiritual growth can'thappen if my heart is hard,
because that's where the spiritstarts to grow.
Now we think of the heart asthis little beautiful organ that
represents love.
Let me tell you something whenthat organ gets hard and it
can't receive the tenderness ofGod anymore, you're in trouble.
You're in trouble.
(19:32):
I was listening to a pastorpreach the other day and when he
was talking he was talkingabout men in general and he said
men too often feel like theyeither have to be firm or hard
or mean, or they have to begentle.
It's one or the other.
You can't be both.
And he said when you havechildren, you learn something I
(19:55):
need to be tough for them andtender to them.
I need to be tough for them andtender to them.
We have to look at our heartthe same way, tender to them.
We have to look at our heartthe same way to the word of God
I have.
My heart has to be tough for theword but tender to the word, so
(20:16):
that when the word is beingspoken to my heart, it can
absorb it, it can hear it, itcan feel it, but then when that
word is attacked, it has to betough and ready to fight back
with scripture right Now.
I used to say this you guys canyell at me, you can throw
sticks or rocks or whatever youwant.
Nobody's carrying anythingsharp, are they?
You got your loud cup.
(20:36):
I used to think memorizingscripture, what does it matter?
How does it really change yourlife?
Right, let me tell you, whenscripture's etched in your heart
and when you can fight theenemy every day with that
scripture, it makes a difference.
It does, and I'm not sayingthat you have to be able to get
(20:57):
it exact word for word, but I'mtelling you, when you have
scripture etched on your heart,your life is different, because
now you live for it, because nowmy heart is tender and it can
receive it.
But it is tough to defend it.
Right, I defend the word atevery turn.
(21:17):
It is my desire to have theword etched upon my heart.
When we refuse to release debt,when we refuse to release debt,
when we refuse to release debt,we remain chained to the offense
(21:43):
.
Now I tried to get Tina I wastrying to get her son to bring
me a pair of handcuffs.
He's a cop and he said I'm notletting you have those handcuffs
after they've been on dirtypeople.
I'm not lying, that's what hesaid.
Because I wanted to handcuffmyself to one of you.
Right, I wasn't going to takeTina because if those handcuffs
(22:03):
didn't come off and I had totake her home, we were going to
have trouble.
We'd be cutting the arm off atthe elbow.
So when we are not willing toforgive the debt, we hold on to
the offense.
We are chained to the offense.
And what does that mean?
That we can't let it go, wecan't get away from it.
(22:26):
Right, and I'm walking aroundand I'm dragging this offense
behind me and I'm offended bysomething that doesn't even
change my life.
Right, how many of you areoffended by things that don't
even affect your life?
Every day, people will say andact a certain way and I'm like
that's the dumbest thing I'veever heard.
Right, that is, that's stupid.
Why would you say that?
(22:46):
And then I realize that I'mbeing offended.
There are people who getoffended for other people, right
, it's true, it's true.
There are people, if I saidsomething like, I can promise
you this Vicky Hickey's not here.
I'm sure she's wearing abeautiful sweater at home right
now.
I'm sure of it.
I'm sure she's wearing abeautiful sweater.
But the people who hear me pickon her about her sweater are
(23:07):
offended for her, right?
They're like well, how could hetalk about such a sweet?
I'm kidding, she knows I'mkidding.
That's why she goes out andshops for sweaters for me, right
?
Like she knows I love her.
She does it on purpose now,like I'm waiting for her to come
in with a big old floral printor big old flowers sticking off
of it.
My point is that we becomeoffended for other people for no
(23:28):
reason.
So we have the Amish countrytheater at work, right?
People who have never seen ashow at our theater will comment
on our Facebook posts or willleave us reviews that say this
is offensive to the Amish.
But we have Amish that come andsee the show and love it.
It's not offensive.
But you become offended forsomebody else.
And for what reason?
(23:49):
Simply to be offended Becauseyou got nothing better to do
with your time than to beoffended, right?
That's crazy.
It's crazy.
It is not what our hearts aremeant to do.
Hebrews 12, 15.
Is that where we're at?
Am I still on track?
Yes, look at each other so thatnone of you fails to receive
(24:14):
the grace of God.
Watch out that no one poisonsthe root of bitterness.
Wait that.
No poisonous root of bitternessgrows up to trouble you
corrupting.
Many Look after each other.
It is our responsibility tolook after one another.
Now let me ask you a questionhow many of you today don't have
(24:36):
to raise your hand if you don'twant to are offended with
somebody in the church?
Right, it happens.
It happens.
But here's the thing.
The scripture tells me that Ishould be looking after that
person, not being offended bythat person.
Now here's the trouble.
It's hard to go to that personand say I've been hurt because
(24:58):
of this, because I expect themto be able to say something to
me.
Right, to be able to apologize.
Here's the thing I learned.
This is a new leadership skill.
By the way, for those of youwho need this, put this one in
your arsenal.
When you have a hardconversation with somebody, it's
okay to say I'm sure you'regoing to be offended, and that's
okay, because a lot of times,we start the conversation with
no offense.
(25:18):
Or I'm not trying to hurt yourfeelings or I'm not trying.
Sometimes I am being offensive.
I don't mean to be and I'm nottrying to be hurtful, but what I
need you to know is.
It's okay to be upset with me.
I give you permission to beupset with me, but if I don't
say this, I'm going to hold onto it, amen.
How many of us are holding on tostuff?
(25:38):
We're holding on to it.
We don't know how to forgive it.
We don't know how to let it go.
I won't hold on to it anymore.
Know that if you feel like I'mtalking about you right now, I
forgive you and, lord, I hope, Ihope that if you know it's
about you, that you know that Ihave forgiven you.
I'm not carrying it anymore.
(25:58):
It's too heavy.
That burden is too heavy tocarry.
If God wakes me up one moretime and says get over it, I
like my sleep, right, and I needit, and I don't need God waking
me up to remind me about you,right?
Listen, it's not your faultthat he's waking me up.
(26:23):
It's my fault.
But I'm saying I forgive youand I truly, from the depths of
my heart, I forgive you.
I don't want to carry this anylonger.
I don't want to carry it anylonger.
I want to be free.
Amen, I want to be free.
(26:47):
To forgive is not to excuse.
It's not pretending that thepain didn't happen.
It's choosing to say you don'towe me anymore, I release you
from the dead.
And why?
Because I want freedom.
Amen.
That's such a weird statementto make, isn't it?
(27:07):
Because they don't know thatthey owe us anything.
We're offended with them.
They don't really feel likethey owe us anything, but our
heart does.
I'm letting that go today.
I love you.
You don't owe me anything.
You don't owe me an apology.
You don't owe me any type offorgiveness.
(27:28):
You don't owe me anything as ofthis moment, because I want to
be free Every time I giveforgiveness.
I want to be free every time Igive forgiveness and I hold on
to that string with.
If they would just say I'msorry, right, if they would just
(27:49):
try, if they would just say ifthey would just do.
That is not forgiveness.
That's strings attached.
That's holding on tounforgiveness in the most
shrouded way possible.
Colossians 3.13,.
Make allowances for eachother's faults and forgive
(28:09):
anyone who offends you.
Remember the Lord forgave youand you must forgive others.
If the word is that simple, whycan't we do it?
Why can't we do it Now?
(28:33):
Here's the hard part, and thisis the truth, though.
Forgiveness takes dailydiscipline Right Now.
Listen, you guys know I like tobe honest.
The reason our tagline is fresh.
Real Jesus is really the middleword.
Real, right, I don't have aproblem from the pulpit telling
you that I'm struggling withunforgiveness.
Okay, I don't have a problemwith that, because I think too
(28:54):
many pastors put themselves onpedestals and pretend like they
don't have life problems.
Right, listen, I got them too.
I work in the world.
I spend more time in the worldthan I do in the church.
Right, like I'm rubbingshoulders with people.
I'm fortunate I work in acompany that's majority
faith-based.
Most of us are Christians, mostof us believe in God and have
(29:17):
spent time even serving inchurches.
I think there's four pastors onstaff at my work.
It's crazy.
Some of them are retired, butthere are four pastors on staff
at my work and some of them myowners.
All helped to open the NewPoint Dover campus.
Like they all served in thatministry in one way or another.
That's a big deal, right,because we're grounded in a
certain way, but because it's adaily decision, I don't just
(29:41):
wake up tomorrow and go, yep,we're all good.
I wake up tomorrow and I say,lord, keep working on my heart.
Keep working on my heart,because if you don't.
I am going to hold on to thatunforgiveness again.
I'm going to lay it at the footof the cross and I'm going to
pick it back up Right, and I'mgoing to keep getting dragged
back to it Day in and day outI'm dragging myself back.
(30:02):
So before my feet hit the floor, I say, lord, you didn't just
say once, you said seven times70.
And Lord, I want to keepforgiving.
Lord, I want to be able to walkaway without strings attached.
I want to be able to walk awayand not feel burdened.
(30:22):
Forgiveness is not an event.
You don't put a check in thebox once you've said the words.
It's a process.
It truly takes time, right?
Christ endured all of that painand suffering all the way to
the cross.
It was a process to fulfillprophecy.
(30:44):
It was a process for him to getto the cross.
Forgiveness is going to be aprocess and not a fun one.
It's going to hurt a little bitSometimes.
You're going to wake up andyou're going to have a better
day than other days.
Some days you're going to wakeup and you're going to be like
I'm holding on to that one todayand I'm going to start fresh
(31:06):
tomorrow.
Lord, help me not hold on tothis unforgiveness.
Amen.
Sometimes we forgive the sameperson for the same thing a
million times.
Until our heart has caught upright, my mind can give it up, I
can say I've forgiven that.
(31:26):
And then my heart's like buthave you really?
Because, like there's stillthis little patch of like black
ice is what I imagine it to be.
And when I hit it I just slideright.
No, okay, it's just how mybrain sees it.
And then I slide and the nextthing I know, I'm on my butt and
I'm like I can't give this up.
I'm back and I can't give it up.
I'm mad again.
(31:46):
I'm upset again, I'm frustratedagain.
Don't that person?
Again?
They don't even know.
Okay, but when they call me,I'm gonna take the call.
I'm going to take the call.
I'm going to be nice.
Lord, help me be nice.
(32:07):
If I don't take your call, no,it's you.
No, I'm kidding Everybody.
Be like well, it's definitelyme, because I don't take
anybody's calls.
Send you the voicemail.
I know that I have to retrain myheart every day, every time I
walk into those situations.
So here are the questions thatI have designated for my heart
who have I been holding inprison, in the prison of my
bitterness.
What debt have I been trying tocollect emotionally, right?
(32:33):
I'm not talking about like youowe me money debt.
I'm talking about emotionaldebt.
Am I willing to let it go, ifnot for them?
For me?
Jesus forgave our debts, notbecause we earned it.
It's because he wanted us to befree.
(32:55):
It's because he wanted us to befree.
I am not forgiving the debt foryour sake.
I'm forgiving the debt for mysake.
Amen.
Let's pray together.
As we do this, I would like toinvite you up for prayer.
If anybody is in need of prayerspecifically for forgiveness
today, come forward, pastorHolly, and I will be up here.
(33:18):
I know that we're all walkingthrough seasons in our life
where we're struggling withbeing upset or frustrated with
people.
I just want you to know it'snot what God has called us to be
.
Amen, let's just bow our headsand pray.
Father, in the mighty name ofJesus, I thank you for allowing
our hearts to be pliable thisday, lord, that we may be able
(33:40):
to look into the heavens and seejust how tender our hearts need
to be because, father, we willbe able to see your heart, the
heart that has been full offorgiveness, the heart that has
been full of grace, the heartthat has been full of grace.
(34:03):
Father, I know that you spoketo me today.
Maybe this message was only forme, but I'll tell you, lord,
I'll take it Because I know thatwith each passing day, we get
closer and closer to enteringinto glory.
And, lord, I don't want to havea hard heart.
You didn't go to the cross sothat we might have everlasting
(34:27):
life and death, father.
You went to the cross so thatwe could have heaven here, and
being able to be free from thestress of the flesh is exactly
what you've called us to have.
And, lord, I thank you for thatfreedom today.
(34:49):
Father, I pray that you lead usthis day, that you guide us, you
direct us, lift us up, give usstrength and encouragement,
allow us to understand how toforgive and truly let it go.
(35:10):
Father, I give you praise, Igive you honor and glory for all
that you're doing in our lives.
Lord, I pray that you justcontinue to bless us as we move
from this place.
We pray all of this in yourprecious son Jesus's name, and
the church says amen.
We're going to open the altarand we're going to have.
While we're on the Holy smokes, this thing is on a
roll this morning.
Does anybody else have a praisereport while we're going?
Once, yes, jenny and Marcusmoved in like under 24 hours.
I don't know how they did it,but they did it.
Any others no?
Alright, well then, let's getstarted.
I'm going to ask you guys tostand with me again one more
(00:23):
time as we read this openingscripture.
We're going to be in Matthew 18, 21 and 22.
It says Then Peter came to himand asked Lord, how often should
I forgive someone who sinsagainst me?
Seven times, no, not seventimes.
Jesus replied, but 70 times.
(00:43):
Seven.
Amen, amen you may be seated.
No, not seven times, jesusreplied, but 70 times.
Seven.
Amen, amen you may be seated.
How many of us have ever carriedaround bitterness towards
somebody else?
Like, just sits there, youcan't even look at them, right.
Sometimes you see their faceand you want to hug them real
(01:06):
tight around the neck with twohands Right.
And a lot of times we feel thatbitterness and we don't even
realize the struggle that we'rehaving internally.
We blame them for ourunforgiveness, right.
We blame them because of whatthey have done.
We blame them because theydidn't say sorry, right?
My question to you is how oftendo they actually know that
(01:30):
you're upset with them?
Now, I'm not saying like, readbetween the lines know that
you're upset with them.
Have you ever given somebodythe cold shoulder?
When you're upset with them,like I'm just not going to take
your phone calls or I'm going toignore you, or I'm going to
pretend like we're not friendsright now, why are you pointing
at your husband, jenny?
(01:50):
Oh, she does it to him.
Okay, well, at least sheadmitted it.
A lot of times we do that.
The other person doesn't evenknow why we're upset, right?
I have a joke that you know.
The number one way to knowwhether or not you're mad at
your spouse is whether or notthey're speaking to you, right?
So my wife and I don't reallydo the silent game, but
occasionally it happens, and theonly way to break that is with
something incredibly obvious,right?
(02:11):
So if you and your spouse areat a different space, for
whatever reason, you know, a lotof times I'll text my wife and
be like hey, is the stove stillworking?
There's no reason for the stovenot to be working, but I just
need to see if she's going totalk to me, right?
Ever been there.
Sometimes you have to go withthe obvious and ease your way
(02:33):
into the conversation.
Amen, Listen, that's how I livemy life.
You got to dip a toe.
I don't want to get beat upwhen I get home.
I got to ask the question.
Every hurtful word, everybetrayal, every disappointment
weighs us down just a little bitmore.
Amen, man, disappointment's abig word and I don't think.
(02:56):
A lot of times we think aboutwhat disappointment actually
means, right?
So I get disappointed by a lotof things, but more often than
not I'm disappointed whensomebody doesn't show up the way
that I feel like they shouldshow up.
Now, I don't mean physically,but sometimes I'm having a bad
day and somebody knows I'mhaving a bad day and they're not
.
Hey, man, I'm praying for you.
(03:17):
They're just like.
They pretend like it doesn'texist, because sometimes that's
easier to do than to pray.
And I realize that a lot oftimes that disappointment is
because I don't always vocalizewhat it is that I need in my
flesh or in my spirit in orderto move on right.
That's hard to think about,it's hard to comprehend, but
(03:40):
it's true.
Jesus has invited us to lay thatburden down.
Amen.
When did he invite us to laythat burden down.
When he died on the cross, hecarried that to the cross for
you and I.
Now, today, I need to tell yousomething I don't forgive you so
(04:04):
that you will be forgiven.
I forgive you so that I don'thold on to unforgiveness.
I am releasing you from thedebt so that I'm not carrying a
hard heart.
I am releasing you of the debt,not so that you will be free,
but so that I will be free.
Amen, because when I go to theLord and I say explore my heart,
(04:27):
look for the things that I'mholding on to, he finds a lot of
unforgiveness.
He finds a lot of unjustdisappointment.
Right, the thing is, jesustells us that we have to forgive
that, not seven times, but 70times seven.
(04:50):
Now, this isn't about exactmouth math.
What he's saying is keepforgiving.
There isn't a number.
This isn't attainable, right,we just have to continue to say
I am blessed and highly favored.
I don't need to hold on to this, because I want the blessings
of God to be poured out upon me.
If my heart is hard and if I'mignoring the things that God has
(05:16):
told me, then I cannot receivethe blessings openly.
Amen, all right, I've gotanother passage of scripture for
you.
We're going to go to Matthew,chapter 18 again, but we're
actually going to go to 23 thistime.
We're going to read 23 through35.
It says therefore, the kingdomof heaven can be compared to a
king who has decided to bringhis accounts up to date with the
(05:38):
servants who have borrowedmoney from him.
Sounds like the IRS.
Right, you get that tax bill.
They're like all right, pay upIn the process.
Right, you get that tax bill.
They're like all right, pay upIn the process.
One of his debtors was broughtin who owed him millions of
dollars.
Say millions?
Anybody here owe millions ofdollars?
I didn't think so.
That's a lot of money to owe,right?
Millions of dollars he couldn'tpay.
(06:04):
So his master ordered that hebe sold, along with his wife,
his children and everything heowned, to pay the debt.
But the man fell down beforehis master and begged him.
Please be patient with me and Iwill pay it all.
The master was filled with pityfor him and he released him and
(06:25):
forgave all of his debt.
Praise Jesus, praise Jesus.
But there's always a but.
When the man left the king, hewent to a fellow servant who
owed him a few thousand dollars,say thousand dollars.
Thousands is a lot less than amillion, right, I won't ask how
(06:47):
many of us owe thousands ofdollars, because if you own a
house, chances are you owethousands of dollars.
He grabbed him by the throatand demanded instant payment.
His fellow servant fell downbefore him and begged for a
little more time.
Be patient with me and I willpay it, he pleaded.
But his creditor wouldn't wait.
He had the man arrested and putinto prison until the debt
(07:11):
could be paid in full.
When some of the other servantssaw this, they were very upset
and they went to the king andthey told him everything that
had happened.
Then the king called in the manhe had forgiven and said you,
evil servant, I forgave you thattremendous debt because you
(07:32):
pleaded with me.
Shouldn't you have mercy onyour fellow servant, just as I
had mercy on you?
Then the angry king sent theman to prison to be tortured
until he paid his entire debt.
That's what my heavenly fatherwill do to you if you refuse to
(07:54):
forgive your brothers andsisters from your heart.
Amen, that's a big statement.
Heart, amen, that's a bigstatement.
Forgiveness is probably one ofthe easiest things for us to
hold on to, and most of the timewe don't even realize we're
doing it because it'ssubconscious Right Now.
(08:18):
So there was a prophecy a whileback that the men of this
church would be woken in thenight with visions, right, and I
have been, I'll say, blessed toreceive that.
And the statement I was wokenthe other night I actually woke
my wife up to tell her was thisI am not forgiving the debt for
(08:43):
your sake, I am forgiving thedebt for my sake.
It was the exact line that Godhad given me.
I'm talking like three in themorning woke me up with that
line.
Now, here's the thing.
I usually go oh, I'll rememberthat.
And I roll over and go back tosleep, right, and I rolled over
and tried to go back to sleepand he's like you're going to
get up, you're going to write itdown, you're going to get up,
you're going to write it down,you're going to get up, you're
(09:03):
going to.
And so, finally, I got up and Iwrote it down, my phone's,
right beside the bed.
All I had to do was type it inmy note, right?
But I kept fighting it, I keptfighting it and I kept fighting
it because I don't want to letit go right.
I want to hold on to thatunforgiveness because it is
easier to look at somebody andsay I don't trust that person
(09:27):
because I can't forgive them forthe thing that they did.
That's happening in my liferight now, right now.
Listen, every time I would tellmy wife about it she laughs at
me.
I'm like I can't help it.
She's like you're ridiculous.
She's like I knew, you, knewyou still did it and now you're
mad about it.
I'm like, yeah, I am a littlebit.
And she said get over it.
And I said, but I can't.
(09:52):
And she said then shut up aboutit because I don't want to hear
about it anymore.
And I said that's fair.
And I shut up about it and thenI wrote a message about it.
She can't tell me to shut upnow.
But here's what I learned, thatup now.
But here's what I learned thatforgiveness is causing chaos in
my life.
That person doesn't even knowI'm upset with them.
(10:14):
They're walking through la-laland just happy as a lark,
because they have no idea thatI'm upset and I'm upset because
of a decision that I made right.
Listen, I believe that I cantrust everybody in this room at
all times, right Now.
Sometimes people proveotherwise, but I have to learn
to forgive that.
I don't always have to forgetit, I have to.
(10:36):
Okay, that happened and I'mgoing to remember that and I'm
going to trust you with a littleless, that's fair, but I'm
still going to love you just thesame.
That's the hard part, right?
Because, see, my struggle rightnow is that when I think about
the situation, I realize I don'tlove that person the way that I
(10:56):
should.
When I see them and I thinkabout them, I'm like I could
really probably go the rest ofmy life with never seeing them
again and I would be completelyokay with that.
You guys are all sitting in aroom going.
I wonder who he's talking about.
I ain't gonna tell you, but Iknow this Roger raises his hand,
probably me.
I know that I cannot walk inthe will of God, I cannot walk
(11:19):
in the blessings and in thefavor of God if I continue to
hold on to this unforgiveness.
So, as I've thought about itand as I've reflected about it,
I have to remember how muchgrace God has given me.
Why is Jesus so serious aboutforgiveness?
Right, he's serious because heliterally went to the cross so
(11:52):
that we would be forgiven, thatour sins would be forgiven.
There was.
It's his love language.
That's weird to think aboutright death as a love language.
He was willing to die so thatyou and I might have everlasting
life in the kingdom of God.
We would have forgiveness fromall of the sin through his death
(12:14):
on the cross, and yet we walkaround not forgiving other
people.
Heck, sometimes we can't evenforgive ourselves, right?
Listen, last Sunday's message.
I preached that message.
I stepped out of the pulpit.
I was so upset with myself.
I said I didn't do that wordjustice.
I had a message.
I stepped out of the pulpit.
I was so upset with myself.
I said I didn't do that wordjustice.
I had a message, I had a planand it didn't come out the way
that I wanted it to.
And the following day I'dgotten a text from somebody that
said that they really liked themessage and they'd been around
(12:35):
for a while.
So they had experienced lots ofMother's Day messages and it's
somebody that I respect greatlyand I was like man alive.
You realize something sometimesGod's not using me, so I'll feel
good.
He's using me so you'll get theword Right, so that you'll
learn.
It's hard for me standing uphere.
I've got notes.
For a reason I put thistogether, for a reason.
(12:58):
I couldn't let it go, but Godknew that.
So he knew he was going to haveto intervene if he wanted me to
be able to keep moving right.
I'm thankful that he isgraceful, that he gives me lots
of grace, lots of mercy, becauseI'll tell you what you guys,
this would be hard for me everyweek if he didn't, because I
would be trying to figure outwhat is it that he's trying to
(13:20):
say.
I would always be questioningwhat it is that God is doing.
We didn't earn God's grace, wedon't deserve God's grace, but
he gave it to us freely Amen,freely, he gave it to us.
Ephesians 4.32 says instead bekind to each other tenderhearted
(13:40):
.
Be kind to each othertenderhearted, forgiving one
another, just as God, throughChrist, has forgiven you, just
as Christ has forgiven you.
Think about that.
God has forgiven us through thedeath of our Savior.
(14:01):
And here we are, a big old sackof flesh thinking we have a
right to hold on tounforgiveness towards other
people, thinking that somehow wehave a right to hold on to
unforgiveness.
Now here's the thing I want todescribe what unforgiveness is.
This doesn't mean that somebodyhas done wrong to you and that
(14:23):
you're upset with them and thatyou're holding on to that type
of unforgiveness.
Sometimes unforgiveness is justsimply not being able to trust
somebody, or simply looking atsomebody and saying I don't like
their vibe.
Right, I'll tell you right now,god doesn't like my vibe some
days, but I am covered in graceand sometimes when I screw up, I
(14:46):
count on him to come back andsay hey, listen, I need you to
straighten up a little bit.
Do you know how hard it is towalk up to somebody?
I did this to somebody.
I sent him a text message and Isaid hey, I just want to
apologize to you for somethingthat happened three years ago.
I'm being serious, I did it andI was like I don't feel like I
gave you the respect that youdeserved in this moment.
(15:08):
And they responded with ittakes a big man to forgive
somebody for something afterthree years that I didn't even
know had happened.
Right, but I wasn't doing itfor them, I was doing it for me,
because I was sitting on it, Iwas holding on to it and I knew
that what I was doing was wrong,but I didn't want to admit it
because my pride had gotten inthe way.
(15:32):
Pride will be our fall.
Pride will be because we alwaysthink we have to have the next
best thing.
And the next best thingsometimes is shiny, right, and
it's pretty and it looks good.
And then all of a sudden youhave it and it's not good, it's
rotten in the middle and youtake that first bite and you
realize just how rotten itreally is.
Amen, all right.
(15:54):
Unforgiveness isn't justspiritual disobedience, it's
emotional and mentalimprisonment.
We imprison ourselves to theemotional side of unforgiveness.
How many of us are living inprison today?
Those chains are thick.
(16:15):
I can rattle the bars right.
I went to an escape room acouple of months ago with my
team from work and I'll tell youI'm not built for that stuff.
I'm just not Because you haveto learn to trust people and I
wanted to second checkeverything that everybody else
did right.
Because, like, if you have toknow a combination and I know
(16:37):
that you don't know how to worka combination lock, like my wife
cannot work a combination lockto save her life, I'm not going
to let her do the combinationlock right.
I want to double check it.
So, but listen, we get in there.
It's a pirate themed escaperoom and it's a tiny room.
I mean, it's probably as big ashalf of this stage.
That's it.
There are 10 of us in this roomand we're just bumping into each
(17:00):
other and there's a key hangingon the back wall through these
prison bars.
I'm like we need to get thatkey.
That key has to mean somethingright and I'm fixated on that
key.
I'm yanking on these bars.
There's this little thing onthe front that looks like it
should open up.
It's on hinges and I justcouldn't get it to do anything.
And one of the other guys cameover and he grabs a hold of the
(17:23):
bars and he lifts up on them andwouldn't you know, as soon as
he lifts up up on him, thatblock on the front slides out.
Now, we were stuck in that, notstuck.
They don't actually lock thedoor because you know fire code.
But we were in that room and Ihad to depend on other people to
(17:43):
help me see what I needed tosee, right, I was looking at
those bars like they're stoppingme from what I need to get to.
I've got to figure this out inorder to have what it is that I
need.
I am stuck in prison every day,that I'm willing to hold on to
unforgiveness.
I can see the light through thebars.
I can see that there issomething on the other side that
(18:04):
I desperately want, but I don'tknow how to get to it, because
my heart is prideful, right.
My flesh wants to hold on tothe things of the world.
It wants to hold on to theunforgiveness, because as long
as I hold on to that, I can havea reason to not talk to you.
Am I the only one that's evernot talked to somebody because
(18:27):
they're upset with them?
Listen, every time I findmyself in that situation and
listen, there are awkwardsilences still right, because
your mind doesn't want to let goof it.
But I know my spirit doesn'twant to hold on to it anymore.
(18:49):
I know that my spirit doesn'twant to hold on to it anymore.
I've told you guys, thisbitterness is like drinking
poison but waiting for the otherperson to die.
Right, that's thatunforgiveness that we're holding
on to.
I'm upset with you because of.
I don't trust you because of,and every time my mind thinks it
, I take a shot of poison andI'm just waiting for you to die.
But slowly on the inside, myspirit is dying right.
(19:11):
Listen, spiritual growth can'thappen if my heart is hard,
because that's where the spiritstarts to grow.
Now we think of the heart asthis little beautiful organ that
represents love.
Let me tell you something whenthat organ gets hard and it
can't receive the tenderness ofGod anymore, you're in trouble.
You're in trouble.
(19:32):
I was listening to a pastorpreach the other day and when he
was talking he was talkingabout men in general and he said
men too often feel like theyeither have to be firm or hard
or mean, or they have to begentle.
It's one or the other.
You can't be both.
And he said when you havechildren, you learn something I
(19:55):
need to be tough for them andtender to them.
I need to be tough for them andtender to them.
We have to look at our heartthe same way, tender to them.
We have to look at our heartthe same way to the word of God
I have.
My heart has to be tough for theword but tender to the word, so
(20:16):
that when the word is beingspoken to my heart, it can
absorb it, it can hear it, itcan feel it, but then when that
word is attacked, it has to betough and ready to fight back
with scripture right Now.
I used to say this you guys canyell at me, you can throw
sticks or rocks or whatever youwant.
Nobody's carrying anythingsharp, are they?
You got your loud cup.
(20:36):
I used to think memorizingscripture, what does it matter?
How does it really change yourlife?
Right, let me tell you, whenscripture's etched in your heart
and when you can fight theenemy every day with that
scripture, it makes a difference.
It does, and I'm not sayingthat you have to be able to get
(20:57):
it exact word for word, but I'mtelling you, when you have
scripture etched on your heart,your life is different, because
now you live for it, because nowmy heart is tender and it can
receive it.
But it is tough to defend it.
Right, I defend the word atevery turn.
(21:17):
It is my desire to have theword etched upon my heart.
When we refuse to release debt,when we refuse to release debt,
when we refuse to release debt,we remain chained to the offense
(21:43):
.
Now I tried to get Tina I wastrying to get her son to bring
me a pair of handcuffs.
He's a cop and he said I'm notletting you have those handcuffs
after they've been on dirtypeople.
I'm not lying, that's what hesaid.
Because I wanted to handcuffmyself to one of you.
Right, I wasn't going to takeTina because if those handcuffs
(22:03):
didn't come off and I had totake her home, we were going to
have trouble.
We'd be cutting the arm off atthe elbow.
So when we are not willing toforgive the debt, we hold on to
the offense.
We are chained to the offense.
And what does that mean?
That we can't let it go, wecan't get away from it.
(22:26):
Right, and I'm walking aroundand I'm dragging this offense
behind me and I'm offended bysomething that doesn't even
change my life.
Right, how many of you areoffended by things that don't
even affect your life?
Every day, people will say andact a certain way and I'm like
that's the dumbest thing I'veever heard.
Right, that is, that's stupid.
Why would you say that?
(22:46):
And then I realize that I'mbeing offended.
There are people who getoffended for other people, right
, it's true, it's true.
There are people, if I saidsomething like, I can promise
you this Vicky Hickey's not here.
I'm sure she's wearing abeautiful sweater at home right
now.
I'm sure of it.
I'm sure she's wearing abeautiful sweater.
But the people who hear me pickon her about her sweater are
(23:07):
offended for her, right?
They're like well, how could hetalk about such a sweet?
I'm kidding, she knows I'mkidding.
That's why she goes out andshops for sweaters for me, right
?
Like she knows I love her.
She does it on purpose now,like I'm waiting for her to come
in with a big old floral printor big old flowers sticking off
of it.
My point is that we becomeoffended for other people for no
(23:28):
reason.
So we have the Amish countrytheater at work, right?
People who have never seen ashow at our theater will comment
on our Facebook posts or willleave us reviews that say this
is offensive to the Amish.
But we have Amish that come andsee the show and love it.
It's not offensive.
But you become offended forsomebody else.
And for what reason?
(23:49):
Simply to be offended Becauseyou got nothing better to do
with your time than to beoffended, right?
That's crazy.
It's crazy.
It is not what our hearts aremeant to do.
Hebrews 12, 15.
Is that where we're at?
Am I still on track?
Yes, look at each other so thatnone of you fails to receive
(24:14):
the grace of God.
Watch out that no one poisonsthe root of bitterness.
Wait that.
No poisonous root of bitternessgrows up to trouble you
corrupting.
Many Look after each other.
It is our responsibility tolook after one another.
Now let me ask you a questionhow many of you today don't have
(24:36):
to raise your hand if you don'twant to are offended with
somebody in the church?
Right, it happens.
It happens.
But here's the thing.
The scripture tells me that Ishould be looking after that
person, not being offended bythat person.
Now here's the trouble.
It's hard to go to that personand say I've been hurt because
(24:58):
of this, because I expect themto be able to say something to
me.
Right, to be able to apologize.
Here's the thing I learned.
This is a new leadership skill.
By the way, for those of youwho need this, put this one in
your arsenal.
When you have a hardconversation with somebody, it's
okay to say I'm sure you'regoing to be offended, and that's
okay, because a lot of times,we start the conversation with
no offense.
(25:18):
Or I'm not trying to hurt yourfeelings or I'm not trying.
Sometimes I am being offensive.
I don't mean to be and I'm nottrying to be hurtful, but what I
need you to know is.
It's okay to be upset with me.
I give you permission to beupset with me, but if I don't
say this, I'm going to hold onto it, amen.
How many of us are holding on tostuff?
(25:38):
We're holding on to it.
We don't know how to forgive it.
We don't know how to let it go.
I won't hold on to it anymore.
Know that if you feel like I'mtalking about you right now, I
forgive you and, lord, I hope, Ihope that if you know it's
about you, that you know that Ihave forgiven you.
I'm not carrying it anymore.
(25:58):
It's too heavy.
That burden is too heavy tocarry.
If God wakes me up one moretime and says get over it, I
like my sleep, right, and I needit, and I don't need God waking
me up to remind me about you,right?
Listen, it's not your faultthat he's waking me up.
(26:23):
It's my fault.
But I'm saying I forgive youand I truly, from the depths of
my heart, I forgive you.
I don't want to carry this anylonger.
I don't want to carry it anylonger.
I want to be free.
Amen, I want to be free.
(26:47):
To forgive is not to excuse.
It's not pretending that thepain didn't happen.
It's choosing to say you don'towe me anymore, I release you
from the dead.
And why?
Because I want freedom.
Amen.
That's such a weird statementto make, isn't it?
(27:07):
Because they don't know thatthey owe us anything.
We're offended with them.
They don't really feel likethey owe us anything, but our
heart does.
I'm letting that go today.
I love you.
You don't owe me anything.
You don't owe me an apology.
You don't owe me any type offorgiveness.
(27:28):
You don't owe me anything as ofthis moment, because I want to
be free Every time I giveforgiveness.
I want to be free every time Igive forgiveness and I hold on
to that string with.
If they would just say I'msorry, right, if they would just
(27:49):
try, if they would just say ifthey would just do.
That is not forgiveness.
That's strings attached.
That's holding on tounforgiveness in the most
shrouded way possible.
Colossians 3.13,.
Make allowances for eachother's faults and forgive
(28:09):
anyone who offends you.
Remember the Lord forgave youand you must forgive others.
If the word is that simple, whycan't we do it?
Why can't we do it Now?
(28:33):
Here's the hard part, and thisis the truth, though.
Forgiveness takes dailydiscipline Right Now.
Listen, you guys know I like tobe honest.
The reason our tagline is fresh.
Real Jesus is really the middleword.
Real, right, I don't have aproblem from the pulpit telling
you that I'm struggling withunforgiveness.
Okay, I don't have a problemwith that, because I think too
(28:54):
many pastors put themselves onpedestals and pretend like they
don't have life problems.
Right, listen, I got them too.
I work in the world.
I spend more time in the worldthan I do in the church.
Right, like I'm rubbingshoulders with people.
I'm fortunate I work in acompany that's majority
faith-based.
Most of us are Christians, mostof us believe in God and have
(29:17):
spent time even serving inchurches.
I think there's four pastors onstaff at my work.
It's crazy.
Some of them are retired, butthere are four pastors on staff
at my work and some of them myowners.
All helped to open the NewPoint Dover campus.
Like they all served in thatministry in one way or another.
That's a big deal, right,because we're grounded in a
certain way, but because it's adaily decision, I don't just
(29:41):
wake up tomorrow and go, yep,we're all good.
I wake up tomorrow and I say,lord, keep working on my heart.
Keep working on my heart,because if you don't.
I am going to hold on to thatunforgiveness again.
I'm going to lay it at the footof the cross and I'm going to
pick it back up Right, and I'mgoing to keep getting dragged
back to it Day in and day outI'm dragging myself back.
(30:02):
So before my feet hit the floor, I say, lord, you didn't just
say once, you said seven times70.
And Lord, I want to keepforgiving.
Lord, I want to be able to walkaway without strings attached.
I want to be able to walk awayand not feel burdened.
(30:22):
Forgiveness is not an event.
You don't put a check in thebox once you've said the words.
It's a process.
It truly takes time, right?
Christ endured all of that painand suffering all the way to
the cross.
It was a process to fulfillprophecy.
(30:44):
It was a process for him to getto the cross.
Forgiveness is going to be aprocess and not a fun one.
It's going to hurt a little bitSometimes.
You're going to wake up andyou're going to have a better
day than other days.
Some days you're going to wakeup and you're going to be like
I'm holding on to that one todayand I'm going to start fresh
(31:06):
tomorrow.
Lord, help me not hold on tothis unforgiveness.
Amen.
Sometimes we forgive the sameperson for the same thing a
million times.
Until our heart has caught upright, my mind can give it up, I
can say I've forgiven that.
(31:26):
And then my heart's like buthave you really?
Because, like there's stillthis little patch of like black
ice is what I imagine it to be.
And when I hit it I just slideright.
No, okay, it's just how mybrain sees it.
And then I slide and the nextthing I know, I'm on my butt and
I'm like I can't give this up.
I'm back and I can't give it up.
I'm mad again.
(31:46):
I'm upset again, I'm frustratedagain.
Don't that person?
Again?
They don't even know.
Okay, but when they call me,I'm gonna take the call.
I'm going to take the call.
I'm going to be nice.
Lord, help me be nice.
(32:07):
If I don't take your call, no,it's you.
No, I'm kidding Everybody.
Be like well, it's definitelyme, because I don't take
anybody's calls.
Send you the voicemail.
I know that I have to retrain myheart every day, every time I
walk into those situations.
So here are the questions thatI have designated for my heart
who have I been holding inprison, in the prison of my
bitterness.
What debt have I been trying tocollect emotionally, right?
(32:33):
I'm not talking about like youowe me money debt.
I'm talking about emotionaldebt.
Am I willing to let it go, ifnot for them?
For me?
Jesus forgave our debts, notbecause we earned it.
It's because he wanted us to befree.
(32:55):
It's because he wanted us to befree.
I am not forgiving the debt foryour sake.
I'm forgiving the debt for mysake.
Amen.
Let's pray together.
As we do this, I would like toinvite you up for prayer.
If anybody is in need of prayerspecifically for forgiveness
today, come forward, pastorHolly, and I will be up here.
(33:18):
I know that we're all walkingthrough seasons in our life
where we're struggling withbeing upset or frustrated with
people.
I just want you to know it'snot what God has called us to be
.
Amen, let's just bow our headsand pray.
Father, in the mighty name ofJesus, I thank you for allowing
our hearts to be pliable thisday, lord, that we may be able
(33:40):
to look into the heavens and seejust how tender our hearts need
to be because, father, we willbe able to see your heart, the
heart that has been full offorgiveness, the heart that has
been full of grace, the heartthat has been full of grace.
(34:03):
Father, I know that you spoketo me today.
Maybe this message was only forme, but I'll tell you, lord,
I'll take it Because I know thatwith each passing day, we get
closer and closer to enteringinto glory.
And, lord, I don't want to havea hard heart.
You didn't go to the cross sothat we might have everlasting
(34:27):
life and death, father.
You went to the cross so thatwe could have heaven here, and
being able to be free from thestress of the flesh is exactly
what you've called us to have.
And, lord, I thank you for thatfreedom today.
(34:49):
Father, I pray that you lead usthis day, that you guide us, you
direct us, lift us up, give usstrength and encouragement,
allow us to understand how toforgive and truly let it go.
(35:10):
Father, I give you praise, Igive you honor and glory for all
that you're doing in our lives.
Lord, I pray that you justcontinue to bless us as we move
from this place.
We pray all of this in yourprecious son Jesus's name, and
the church says amen.
We're going to open the altarand we're going to have.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.