August 19, 2025 • 13 mins
Are you truly honoring yourself? Together, we'll explore "The Self-Respect Checklist: 5 Signs You're on the Right Path" to help you understand where you stand on your journey of self-respect.Are you setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing your needs, and embracing your true self? Or do you find yourself compromising your values and struggling with self-worth? Join us as we delve into the five key signs that reveal whether you're on track or if it's time to elevate your self-respect.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Rewiring Health. If you're a high achieving woman
feeling trapped in the endless cycle of guilt and exhaustion
from always putting others first, then this is your
sanctuary. I'm Doctor Kelly Kessler, your
dedicated empowerment mentor, and I'm here to tell you that
it's time to reclaim your peace,health, and happiness.
(00:20):
Imagine waking up every day feeling energized and
unapologetically living for yourself.
Together, we'll break down the walls that have been holding you
back and unlock the vibrant, unstoppable force that you truly
are. It's time to put yourself first,
embrace your authentic self, andlive a life that's not just
endured, but celebrated. Now let's dive in.
(00:49):
Somewhere along the way, you mayhave learned to listen to other
people. You may have learned to keep
yourself silent. Make sure the peace is kept
outside yourself. Make sure you respect other
people and not ruffle any feathers.
Somewhere along the way, you mayhave learned it's safer just to
stay small than to speak your truth.
(01:11):
You may have learned along the way that others know better than
you do, and so trust what other people say and doubt yourself
when you do have that inkling ofthinking differently.
Somewhere along the way you madeothers a priority and you left
yourself behind, and it is only when you start to realize that
(01:36):
this is happening that change can actually happen.
The unfortunate thing is that this is not a big shift that
happens one day. It's a slow erosion.
It's like a drip on a rock. It's gradually it just chips
away little by little at your essence, and you don't even
realize until you kind of hit that point of pain, so much pain
(02:00):
that you're wondering where you are.
Is there more to this? Or when is my chance to actually
live the life that I want? And when do I get to do what
feels right for me and not have the pressure and weight of
making sure everybody else is OK?
The slow erosion of ourselves can happen so subtly that it can
(02:23):
take years, where we feel like something is just off but we
can't really put our finger on it.
We feel like we have that sense of emptiness, but yet we don't
really know what's contributing to it.
We don't know how to change that.
And that slow erosion can happenso much that we end up
disrespecting ourselves in ways we don't even realize that we
are. And so in this episode, I want
(02:45):
to share with you 5 signs that you are respecting yourself.
And so you can use this as a wayto bring more awareness to
yourself. If you notice that you have all
5 happening in your life and that you are embracing all 5,
that's amazing. And use this as a kudos to you,
Pat on the back that you are doing something right.
(03:07):
If you notice that some of theseareas do not resonate with the
way you're living, or some of these areas are areas for
growth, then use this as a way to understand that there is room
for you to embrace the essence of yourself.
Live differently and there's opportunity to invite more
(03:27):
respect for yourself and learn how to do that.
So the five signs that you are respecting yourself is number 1.
You set boundaries. Now, this is one of those terms
that can feel so jarring and uncomfortable when we talk about
boundaries because if you're listening to this episode, it's
likely that maybe you haven't had boundaries in much of your
(03:50):
life and that you have said yes to people over and over again.
You have prioritized others needs more than your own and you
just keep on doing more and moreand more for people.
It may feel so uncomfortable to say no to people to set those
boundaries, but when you respectyourself, you have boundaries
because you understand how important your energy is.
(04:13):
You understand that your time isprecious and that the energy and
time that you have is not an endless source.
It's a source that does become depleted.
And if you get to the point where you don't have that energy
up and you don't have the time, then you don't have the ability
to live the life that you're dreaming of or that you desire.
(04:35):
And so when you respect yourself, you understand
boundaries are not a privilege, they are a necessity.
You understand that boundaries allow you to have the healthiest
relationships with the healthiest people.
You understand that when you have boundaries, you are setting
the rules for which you live your life.
(04:56):
You're inviting people in to come join your life in a
respectful way and telling the people who are not willing to
abide by that, that there is a set standard for how you live
your life. You get to choose how you spend
your time and your energy and who gets to be alongside with
you in that journey #2 you keep promises to yourself.
(05:21):
This is such a huge part to respecting yourself that when
you say I am going to take 5 minutes in the morning to go for
a walk and get outside, that youdo it.
You make yourself a non negotiable.
When you say I'm going to read that book, you actually do it
and you hold your word to yourself.
(05:42):
When you lay out the priorities in your life and you say this is
how you're going to choose to invest your energy, you do it by
the way that you say you're going to.
You don't allow others to make that decision for you.
And you live by your word because you understand how
important your word is. Without the integrity and
holding your word, you know thatself trust is out the door.
(06:04):
And so you know how important, no matter how small that word
is, whether it's you're going tohave a glass of water right now
when you say it, you do it because you know that's how you
build that self trust within yourself #3 you speak kindly to
yourself. Now, this can be one that is
always evolving. And #100% we all have that inner
(06:25):
dialogue. And the words that we say to
ourself can be really harsh sometimes.
And maybe your mind is going allthe time, thinking of all the
things that are going wrong inside and outside.
And that is part of that survival mechanism of our mind.
But recognizing that and making small changes and shifts to
(06:46):
change the dialogue in which youspeak to yourself is where that
growth and self respect comes from.
It's recognizing the patterns that you have, knowing that they
are not your truth, and that thereal truth is love and respect
for yourself. That's where your power is.
That's the alignment of your soul to fully and
(07:07):
unconditionally love yourself. And when you can recognize that
and you start to shift your dialogue and the way you're
speaking to yourself, that's when you're truly showing
yourself respect #4 you prioritize your well-being.
Now. It's so hard sometimes when we
have so much going on. I'm a mom of two young boys.
(07:28):
I'm running a business. I have worked where I was
working 2 jobs at a time and trying to grow this in the
beginning and it's crazy. It's so much to take on plus all
the other roles that you're playing.
It can be a lot and it can be very overwhelming.
And in that we can very much kind of put our own well-being
aside, making sure that everybody else is OK.
(07:50):
And we noticed that maybe weeks go by and we haven't really done
anything for ourselves. Maybe we haven't taken a moment
of quiet time, or we haven't gone for a walk, or maybe we
haven't gone to the gym. You can easily watch that time
go, but when you respect yourself, you understand that
you are a priority and that you can only show up fully for your
(08:11):
children, for your spouse, for everything that you're doing,
all the people you're serving. If you are, prioritize your
well-being. That means getting enough sleep.
That means having some quiet time.
That means maybe going for a walk, getting outside, taking a
few deep breaths, whatever that looks like for you.
You recognize that your well-being is worth it because
(08:32):
you can only help others and be there for the ones that you
love. When you are full and you are
self respecting #5 you walk awayfrom anything that no longer
serves you. Now this can be a really, really
complex 1 and a really tough onebecause it's hard to let
(08:52):
relationships go. It really is.
And I talked about this in one of my recent reels that I did,
that sometimes we hold on to things because of the fantasy of
it, that we are waiting for thatperson to say the right thing.
Or we think they'll, if I explain it five more times,
they'll finally understand. And then it'll be the
(09:13):
relationship that I want. We hope that somebody will give
us the accountability or the apology that we want, and we
hold out for that. But sometimes that doesn't
happen. And sometimes we hold on to
relationships because we think of the fantasy of it, that it
will be all that we want it to be.
But the reality of it is that sometimes it just isn't.
(09:35):
And we have to make decisions based off of reality, not
fantasy. And sometimes we have to let
people go. And it doesn't mean it has to be
forever if sometimes it can be temporary.
It just depends on the situation.
You have to understand that if you are in a relationship that
you find draining, that you finddepleting, that you find that
you are keeping yourself small or silent, or you're
(09:56):
disrespecting yourself just to keep the peace in that
relationship, then that's the time to start looking into it
and seeing and asking yourself, does this serve me?
And when you respect yourself, you recognize that sometimes you
have to let others go so that you don't lose yourself in the
process. When you respect yourself, your
(10:19):
priority is your peace, not the peace of everybody else.
And you recognize that you're responsible for your own
emotions, you're responsible foryour happiness, your own peace,
and that you don't have to bear the weight of everybody else.
And that is a really tough one, but it is a huge sign that you
are respecting yourself when youtake your energy back and you
(10:40):
live within your own power. And so the five signs that you
are respecting yourself is that you set boundaries, you keep the
promises that you make to yourself, you speak kindly to
yourself, you prioritize your own well-being, and you walk
away from situations or relationships that no longer
(11:00):
serve you. Now I want you to listen to
those and really think about your own life.
Where do you notice that in yourlife?
Are you respecting yourself in some ways and maybe not in
others? And when you listen to that, the
one thing I do not want you to do is come down on yourself if
you are not doing one of these. This is all about giving
(11:21):
yourself grace, compassion, and recognizing with truth the full
awareness of what your situationis.
Because it's only when we are truthful to ourselves about what
is actually happening, that's when we give ourselves space for
change and growth and evolution.And so I hope this serves you
well in understanding areas thatmaybe you are respecting
(11:44):
yourself, maybe areas that you're not, and so that you can
really start to move in the direction of self respect and
know that you are worth it and you are worth prioritizing
yourself. If you found Valley in this
episode, please share it with someone who also needs to hear
it. These messages cannot be shared
enough. I can't tell you how many times
in my own journey when I was battling between that like self
(12:08):
neglect and self respect and wondering am I, am I allowed to
even prioritize myself? Like almost wanting someone to
give him permission. But it was through listening to
so many others that have been through some challenges and have
learned to make themselves a priority and live through peace
that it gave me the permission to do it myself.
(12:29):
And so if you found any ounce ofpermission to take care of
yourself in this, I want you to share this with a friend and
allow these messages to grow. Because it's only through our
own self respect that we can live the life we're meant to
live. And you are worth it.
Thanks for being here today. Thank you so much for tuning
(12:49):
into this episode. If there was something in this
episode that really resonated with you or a message that stuck
with you, please share it with someone else.
Only through sharing these messages that we can start to
rewire our minds to feel empowered and live the life that
we truly desire. Please subscribe so you never
miss an episode. And again, thank you so much for
(13:10):
tuning in to Rewiring Help.
Welcome to Rewiring Health. If you're a high achieving woman
feeling trapped in the endless cycle of guilt and exhaustion
from always putting others first, then this is your
sanctuary. I'm Doctor Kelly Kessler, your
dedicated empowerment mentor, and I'm here to tell you that
it's time to reclaim your peace,health, and happiness.
(00:20):
Imagine waking up every day feeling energized and
unapologetically living for yourself.
Together, we'll break down the walls that have been holding you
back and unlock the vibrant, unstoppable force that you truly
are. It's time to put yourself first,
embrace your authentic self, andlive a life that's not just
endured, but celebrated. Now let's dive in.
(00:49):
Somewhere along the way, you mayhave learned to listen to other
people. You may have learned to keep
yourself silent. Make sure the peace is kept
outside yourself. Make sure you respect other
people and not ruffle any feathers.
Somewhere along the way, you mayhave learned it's safer just to
stay small than to speak your truth.
(01:11):
You may have learned along the way that others know better than
you do, and so trust what other people say and doubt yourself
when you do have that inkling ofthinking differently.
Somewhere along the way you madeothers a priority and you left
yourself behind, and it is only when you start to realize that
(01:36):
this is happening that change can actually happen.
The unfortunate thing is that this is not a big shift that
happens one day. It's a slow erosion.
It's like a drip on a rock. It's gradually it just chips
away little by little at your essence, and you don't even
realize until you kind of hit that point of pain, so much pain
(02:00):
that you're wondering where you are.
Is there more to this? Or when is my chance to actually
live the life that I want? And when do I get to do what
feels right for me and not have the pressure and weight of
making sure everybody else is OK?
The slow erosion of ourselves can happen so subtly that it can
(02:23):
take years, where we feel like something is just off but we
can't really put our finger on it.
We feel like we have that sense of emptiness, but yet we don't
really know what's contributing to it.
We don't know how to change that.
And that slow erosion can happenso much that we end up
disrespecting ourselves in ways we don't even realize that we
are. And so in this episode, I want
(02:45):
to share with you 5 signs that you are respecting yourself.
And so you can use this as a wayto bring more awareness to
yourself. If you notice that you have all
5 happening in your life and that you are embracing all 5,
that's amazing. And use this as a kudos to you,
Pat on the back that you are doing something right.
(03:07):
If you notice that some of theseareas do not resonate with the
way you're living, or some of these areas are areas for
growth, then use this as a way to understand that there is room
for you to embrace the essence of yourself.
Live differently and there's opportunity to invite more
(03:27):
respect for yourself and learn how to do that.
So the five signs that you are respecting yourself is number 1.
You set boundaries. Now, this is one of those terms
that can feel so jarring and uncomfortable when we talk about
boundaries because if you're listening to this episode, it's
likely that maybe you haven't had boundaries in much of your
(03:50):
life and that you have said yes to people over and over again.
You have prioritized others needs more than your own and you
just keep on doing more and moreand more for people.
It may feel so uncomfortable to say no to people to set those
boundaries, but when you respectyourself, you have boundaries
because you understand how important your energy is.
(04:13):
You understand that your time isprecious and that the energy and
time that you have is not an endless source.
It's a source that does become depleted.
And if you get to the point where you don't have that energy
up and you don't have the time, then you don't have the ability
to live the life that you're dreaming of or that you desire.
(04:35):
And so when you respect yourself, you understand
boundaries are not a privilege, they are a necessity.
You understand that boundaries allow you to have the healthiest
relationships with the healthiest people.
You understand that when you have boundaries, you are setting
the rules for which you live your life.
(04:56):
You're inviting people in to come join your life in a
respectful way and telling the people who are not willing to
abide by that, that there is a set standard for how you live
your life. You get to choose how you spend
your time and your energy and who gets to be alongside with
you in that journey #2 you keep promises to yourself.
(05:21):
This is such a huge part to respecting yourself that when
you say I am going to take 5 minutes in the morning to go for
a walk and get outside, that youdo it.
You make yourself a non negotiable.
When you say I'm going to read that book, you actually do it
and you hold your word to yourself.
(05:42):
When you lay out the priorities in your life and you say this is
how you're going to choose to invest your energy, you do it by
the way that you say you're going to.
You don't allow others to make that decision for you.
And you live by your word because you understand how
important your word is. Without the integrity and
holding your word, you know thatself trust is out the door.
(06:04):
And so you know how important, no matter how small that word
is, whether it's you're going tohave a glass of water right now
when you say it, you do it because you know that's how you
build that self trust within yourself #3 you speak kindly to
yourself. Now, this can be one that is
always evolving. And #100% we all have that inner
(06:25):
dialogue. And the words that we say to
ourself can be really harsh sometimes.
And maybe your mind is going allthe time, thinking of all the
things that are going wrong inside and outside.
And that is part of that survival mechanism of our mind.
But recognizing that and making small changes and shifts to
(06:46):
change the dialogue in which youspeak to yourself is where that
growth and self respect comes from.
It's recognizing the patterns that you have, knowing that they
are not your truth, and that thereal truth is love and respect
for yourself. That's where your power is.
That's the alignment of your soul to fully and
(07:07):
unconditionally love yourself. And when you can recognize that
and you start to shift your dialogue and the way you're
speaking to yourself, that's when you're truly showing
yourself respect #4 you prioritize your well-being.
Now. It's so hard sometimes when we
have so much going on. I'm a mom of two young boys.
(07:28):
I'm running a business. I have worked where I was
working 2 jobs at a time and trying to grow this in the
beginning and it's crazy. It's so much to take on plus all
the other roles that you're playing.
It can be a lot and it can be very overwhelming.
And in that we can very much kind of put our own well-being
aside, making sure that everybody else is OK.
(07:50):
And we noticed that maybe weeks go by and we haven't really done
anything for ourselves. Maybe we haven't taken a moment
of quiet time, or we haven't gone for a walk, or maybe we
haven't gone to the gym. You can easily watch that time
go, but when you respect yourself, you understand that
you are a priority and that you can only show up fully for your
(08:11):
children, for your spouse, for everything that you're doing,
all the people you're serving. If you are, prioritize your
well-being. That means getting enough sleep.
That means having some quiet time.
That means maybe going for a walk, getting outside, taking a
few deep breaths, whatever that looks like for you.
You recognize that your well-being is worth it because
(08:32):
you can only help others and be there for the ones that you
love. When you are full and you are
self respecting #5 you walk awayfrom anything that no longer
serves you. Now this can be a really, really
complex 1 and a really tough onebecause it's hard to let
(08:52):
relationships go. It really is.
And I talked about this in one of my recent reels that I did,
that sometimes we hold on to things because of the fantasy of
it, that we are waiting for thatperson to say the right thing.
Or we think they'll, if I explain it five more times,
they'll finally understand. And then it'll be the
(09:13):
relationship that I want. We hope that somebody will give
us the accountability or the apology that we want, and we
hold out for that. But sometimes that doesn't
happen. And sometimes we hold on to
relationships because we think of the fantasy of it, that it
will be all that we want it to be.
But the reality of it is that sometimes it just isn't.
(09:35):
And we have to make decisions based off of reality, not
fantasy. And sometimes we have to let
people go. And it doesn't mean it has to be
forever if sometimes it can be temporary.
It just depends on the situation.
You have to understand that if you are in a relationship that
you find draining, that you finddepleting, that you find that
you are keeping yourself small or silent, or you're
(09:56):
disrespecting yourself just to keep the peace in that
relationship, then that's the time to start looking into it
and seeing and asking yourself, does this serve me?
And when you respect yourself, you recognize that sometimes you
have to let others go so that you don't lose yourself in the
process. When you respect yourself, your
(10:19):
priority is your peace, not the peace of everybody else.
And you recognize that you're responsible for your own
emotions, you're responsible foryour happiness, your own peace,
and that you don't have to bear the weight of everybody else.
And that is a really tough one, but it is a huge sign that you
are respecting yourself when youtake your energy back and you
(10:40):
live within your own power. And so the five signs that you
are respecting yourself is that you set boundaries, you keep the
promises that you make to yourself, you speak kindly to
yourself, you prioritize your own well-being, and you walk
away from situations or relationships that no longer
(11:00):
serve you. Now I want you to listen to
those and really think about your own life.
Where do you notice that in yourlife?
Are you respecting yourself in some ways and maybe not in
others? And when you listen to that, the
one thing I do not want you to do is come down on yourself if
you are not doing one of these. This is all about giving
(11:21):
yourself grace, compassion, and recognizing with truth the full
awareness of what your situationis.
Because it's only when we are truthful to ourselves about what
is actually happening, that's when we give ourselves space for
change and growth and evolution.And so I hope this serves you
well in understanding areas thatmaybe you are respecting
(11:44):
yourself, maybe areas that you're not, and so that you can
really start to move in the direction of self respect and
know that you are worth it and you are worth prioritizing
yourself. If you found Valley in this
episode, please share it with someone who also needs to hear
it. These messages cannot be shared
enough. I can't tell you how many times
in my own journey when I was battling between that like self
(12:08):
neglect and self respect and wondering am I, am I allowed to
even prioritize myself? Like almost wanting someone to
give him permission. But it was through listening to
so many others that have been through some challenges and have
learned to make themselves a priority and live through peace
that it gave me the permission to do it myself.
(12:29):
And so if you found any ounce ofpermission to take care of
yourself in this, I want you to share this with a friend and
allow these messages to grow. Because it's only through our
own self respect that we can live the life we're meant to
live. And you are worth it.
Thanks for being here today. Thank you so much for tuning
(12:49):
into this episode. If there was something in this
episode that really resonated with you or a message that stuck
with you, please share it with someone else.
Only through sharing these messages that we can start to
rewire our minds to feel empowered and live the life that
we truly desire. Please subscribe so you never
miss an episode. And again, thank you so much for
(13:10):
tuning in to Rewiring Help.
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