September 16, 2025 • 47 mins
Burnout doesn’t always roar in with flashing warning signs—it often whispers. In this episode, The Silent Burnout: How to Spot It, Stop It, and Thrive Again, I sit down with Dr. Zarya Rubin, to uncover the hidden ways burnout shows up in our lives.
Dr. Zarya Rubin is a Harvard-educated functional physician, TEDx speaker, and burnout expert. She helps high-achieving women in midlife break free from burnout to reclaim their passion, purpose and joy. Combining expertise in neurology, functional medicine, mindfulness and nervous system healing, she creates a multidisciplinary approach to breaking the burnout cycle. She is also the host of the brand-new podcast, “Outsmart Burnout.”
We explore:
The subtle signs of burnout you might be ignoring
How your mindset and beliefs fuel exhaustion—or healing
Practical tools to bring mindfulness back into your day
What it really takes to make a lasting shift and reclaim your energy
If you’ve ever felt “off” but couldn’t put your finger on why—or if you’ve pushed through stress until your body said “no more”—this conversation is your reminder that change is possible.
Tune in and learn how to break free from silent burnout so you can feel alive, aligned, and thriving again.
Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin
www.drzarya.comwww.instagram.com/drzaryarubin
✨ Sacred Boundaries: Scripts for Saying No with Love ✨
If you’ve ever felt the pressure to say “yes” when your whole body was begging you to say “no,” you’re not alone. So many high-achieving, heart-centered women struggle with guilt, fear of disappointing others, or worry that boundaries will push people away.
But the truth is: boundaries don’t break relationships—they strengthen them. 💛
That’s why I created Sacred Boundaries: Scripts for Saying No with Love. It’s a free guide filled with gentle, real-life scripts you can start using today to:
🌿 Protect your energy without guilt🌿 Say no in a way that feels kind and authentic🌿 Ask for what you need—without overexplaining🌿 Create space for deeper, more respectful connections
This isn’t about being harsh or distant. It’s about finally honoring your needs while still showing up with love.
👉 Download your free guide here: www.drkellykessler.com/sacredboundaries
Because your peace, your energy, and your voice matter.
Milk and Butterflies:
Get free shipping on your order with this link:
https://milkandbutterflies.com/discount/DRKELLY
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Rewiring Health. If you're a high achieving woman
feeling trapped in the endless cycle of guilt and exhaustion
from always putting others first, then this is your
sanctuary. I'm Doctor Kelly Kessler, your
dedicated empowerment mentor, and I'm here to tell you that
it's time to reclaim your peace,health, and happiness.
(00:20):
Imagine waking up every day feeling energized and
unapologetically living for yourself.
Together, we'll break down the walls that have been holding you
back and unlock the vibrant, unstoppable force that you truly
are. It's time to put yourself first,
embrace your authentic self, andlive a life that's not just
endured, but celebrated. Now, let's dive in.
(00:51):
Have you ever noticed your skin reflex?
Your stress. I used to struggle with mine
Dry, dull, reactive, until I started pairing nervous system
regulation with products that actually honor your body.
That's why I love milk and butterflies.
They handcraft every formula with 100% organic ingredients
and powerful aromatherapy oils. They aren't just products for
(01:14):
your skin, they're rituals that restore hydration, resilience,
and calm even in the busiest seasons of our life.
You can try them for yourself and feel the difference.
Head to milk and butterflies anduse my promo code Doctor Kelly
for free shipping. That's DRKELLY for free
shipping. Also, check out the link in the
(01:34):
description for the podcast. In this current society where
you're expected to do it all, hold it all together, show up
with perfection and a smile on your face, it's no wonder that
behind closed doors, there's this inner struggle, this
feeling of exhaustion, this feeling of suffocating in the
(01:55):
life that you're trying to keep going.
And burnout doesn't let us know with a gentle knock that it's
here. It comes plowing through the
door when it's too late and it'salready set in.
And that is why I'm so honored to have Doctor Zariah Rubin on
the podcast today. She is a Harvard educated
functional physician, Ted, ex speaker, and burnout expert.
(02:17):
She helps high achieving women in midlife break free from
burnout to reclaim their passion, purpose, and joy.
Combining expertise in neurology, functional medicine,
mindfulness, and nervous system healing, she creates A
multidisciplinary approach to breaking the burnout cycle.
She is also the host of the brand new podcast Outsmart
(02:39):
Burnout. I love this conversation with
her. There are so many things that
resonate with me and I'm sure will very much resonate with
you. She shares the subtle signs of
how burnout comes into our livesand how we can reclaim our peace
and start to live a more fulfilling life.
All right, Welcome, doctor Zarya.
Ruben, I'm so honored to have you on the podcast and I can't
(03:00):
wait to get into everything we're going to talk about today.
Well, I'm so happy to be here, Kelly.
Thanks for thanks for inviting me.
Yeah, absolutely. So I mean, we connected on your
podcast and there's so much thatcame out of it and just this is
going to be just another continuation on to an awesome
conversation. That's something that we can all
relate to is burnout. And I know that's what you talk
(03:21):
about, what you've lived, and I would love to just start there
because it's something that so many, many of us have
experienced or maybe are experiencing some of the
symptoms or we're not aware that's actually burnout.
Can you talk about your story and how it showed up in your
life? Sure.
Yeah. So I I love that intro.
And I think that you touched already touched on a very
(03:42):
important point is that I think so many of us are struggling
with burnout and almost none of us realize it.
So I have yet to find a person who said to me I was going
through all of these things and I knew I was burned out.
That's never how the story goes.The story goes I had no idea I
was burned out, I just thought this was normal.
(04:04):
Or I just kept going until XYZ until something happened, until
a major medical issue popped up or until a major sort of event
woke me up. And that's, that's basically the
story that I keep hearing. And that's, that's my story as
well. So I think if you had asked me,
'cause I, my first burnout was in 2007.
(04:28):
So if you had, or 2006 actually.So if you had asked me then if I
was burned out, I would have said no.
I'm just really stressed and I'mworking really hard and I'm, I'm
just, this is what adulting feels like.
So I was, you know, quote UN quote living the dream.
So from the outside looking in, my life was incredible.
(04:50):
Like I was finishing all of my medical training.
I had gone through four years ofpre Med, four years of Med
school, five years of residency,2 years of fellowship.
I had worked a little bit as a neurologist.
So I was finishing my fellowshipat Columbia in New York City.
I was working at this top hospital living in New York.
I mean, everyone thought I was living the Sex and the City
(05:10):
life, but really I had a very tiny apartment and much, you
know, fewer shoes. But but it was like every day I
would wake up and it would feel awful.
I was so exhausted. I was just bone tired.
And yes, medicine is an exhausting and punishing and
unforgiving kind of career, but it was beyond that.
(05:31):
And I just, it didn't feel like I could keep doing it.
I sort of thought to myself, howcan I keep doing this for
another 30-40 years? I can't even do it for another
day and my mental health was really kind of hanging in the
balance. I was probably binge drinking a
little more than I should have been.
(05:51):
On the weekends, I every morningwhen I would go to work, I would
have to take the subway and I would jokingly stand on the
platform and say to myself, should I get on it or jump in
front of it? And that's pretty serious.
But I ignored all the warning signs.
I ignored like my heart was always racing.
(06:12):
I was always anxious. I was having terrible sleep
nightmares all the time and justjust kept going.
You know, I just thought, I guess this is what my life is
going to be like. And I was, I accepted it.
I was resigned because the the alternative was sort of
unthinkable, like what am I going to do?
(06:33):
Quit medicine? Nobody quits their dream.
And I had done so much training.It was the fallacy of like sunk
costs, like I, but I've come so far.
I can't just ditch it. And then of course, the
financial aspect, I was in incredible amounts of debt and
they thought, what can I do? I can't, I can't do anything
(06:54):
differently. And so I kept going.
And then one night I got I got my wake up call, which was
literally in the form of a phonecall.
And my best friend from medical school was calling me to say
that her husband had been playing Frisbee, collapsed.
And they rushed him to the hospital.
(07:15):
And I said, but he's OK, right? And she said no, They tried to
resuscitate him, but he didn't make it.
Oh. My gosh.
And that the world kind of stopped at that point.
And that was, I almost dropped the phone and had this crushing
sense of, you know, grief and just shock at this news.
(07:41):
And what ended up happening was after I sort of came out of that
and, you know, helped my friend and was grieving and it, it was
a, a real wake up call for me interms of, Oh my gosh, I cannot
keep living my life like this. Like I, I, I have to change
(08:02):
something because if this is it,but this is all there is.
I, it can't be this. And so it was a very, very
difficult decision, but it was the only decision that I could
make, which was to walk away from my medical career.
And so I left. And the only way I got through
it was I came across this, this Turkish proverb that said, no
(08:24):
matter how far you've gone down the wrong Rd. turn back.
And that's what allowed me to leave.
But it's it, I'm not going to lie and say that it was easy to
do that. It was a very difficult because
it's, it's all wrapped up in identity.
Because I think that for a lot of us, like our work is more
(08:45):
than just a job. It's who am I if I'm not a
doctor? So I had to begin that process
of figuring that out. Yeah.
Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for sharing.
It's something that, you know, we all have maybe a different
version of that, but it can leadto what you were experiencing
and the complexity of it and that that depth of do I or don't
(09:06):
I? And what does my future look
like if I say? What does my future look like if
I don't say? And each one can feel scary in
its own right. I was like, you know what?
I have to jump off the Cliff andhopefully there's a parachute
somewhere. I don't know that there will be,
but I there's no, there's no other option.
It felt like, you know, it was like being chased by lions.
There's a Cliff and you're like,OK, well, here we go.
(09:30):
Right. Absolutely.
In that decision, how much guidance did you seek inward,
inwardly versus like externally?Like did you seek out guidance
outside yourself of like what the right decision is or was it
really just like a personal endeavor?
It was, you know, I obviously I had to speak to the people in my
(09:51):
training program and my program director was fortunately an
incredible man who was very supportive of my decision
actually, because I was really torn apart by it.
And of course, family and friends and I did seek some
professional help, but they weren't that helpful that I
think that they couldn't wrap their head around what I was
(10:12):
doing. And so eventually I just had to
make the decision for myself. It was one of those decisions
where it almost, it wasn't a decision like it was taken out
of my hands of life became so surreal at that point that this
was I was pretty much single minded and single focus that
(10:32):
this this was the only thing I could do.
There was no other option. And, and, you know, I haven't
really looked back or regretted it.
And it's been now it's been almost, you know, 20 years.
Yeah, yeah. That moment after you made that
decision, what did your life look like at that moment when
you took made the decision? You jumped off the Cliff.
You're you're there. What does that look like and
(10:54):
feel like? Was there clarity?
Was there relief or was there like anxiety?
Oh, I mean all of the things. It was really interesting.
So I sometimes instinctively I, you know, I'm a very rational,
logical, scientific person and yet I think I am actually more
of an emotional right brained, intuitive person.
(11:14):
When when it really comes down to it, I really train that left
brain really hard in school and everything.
But I often times will just get these messages or these
instincts of I need to do X. So I started tango dancing and I
know that sounds insane. One day when I read a book, I'll
talk about the tango dancing andhow it kind of saved my life
(11:36):
because I was in such a state ofnumb, cut off from my emotions.
It was too painful to really experience this intense, you
know, burnout and intense panic that I was feeling at work all
the time, that I had cut myself off from basically feeling
(11:58):
anything. And so I started tango dancing,
and at first I was really terrible at it, and then I got
really good at it. And then I ended up going to
Argentina to dance. And it's like this very intense
emotional connection that you have with a stranger for the few
minutes that you're dancing. And it's, it's very intense,
(12:20):
it's very intimate. It's very emotional and
passionate. And I was like, oh, I can
actually still feel these things.
These things are still here. And wow, I didn't know what it
was like to actually experience that.
So it really had to be this awakening of, Oh my gosh, like,
I am human. I do have all of these feelings.
(12:42):
I do have all of these intense emotions.
I need to go through them. I need to process them.
It wasn't for another maybe 10 years or so, almost 15 years,
that I was actually diagnosed with complex PTSD.
I didn't know it at the time. If I had known it at the time,
(13:03):
things might have been different.
It stemmed from a lot of childhood trauma and childhood
medical trauma. So that was tied into, you know,
I jokingly say in my Ted talk, trauma is not really a great
foundation for making a career choice, so I don't recommend it.
But that was kind of what I did.And then unknowingly,
unwittingly, I was sort of re exposing myself to that trauma
(13:28):
every single day, being a doctor.
And no wonder it didn't work forme.
And no wonder I kind of fell apart and eventually had to.
I had to walk away from it. And that's why it can be so
sneaky because you're, you're literally reliving the patterns,
but so subconsciously, you don'trealize that it's the same thing
that's replaying in your life, but you're just finding
different scenarios to fill thatvoid.
(13:49):
And you're not doing this consciously.
You're not inviting this into your life, but you find yourself
in the same scenarios over and over and over again until you
have that wake up call. And just as you were speaking, I
quote that came into my mind. I forget who said it, but it
says you're not exhausted because you're doing too much.
You're exhausted because you're not doing enough of what you
love. And when you talk about the
tango dancing and like drawing into things that are giving you
(14:12):
life, breathing life into you, that is like the true essence of
life. Like we're not meant to just go
through the motions and like we're meant to experience it.
So I just love that you invited that into your life.
Yeah, I think that it was a combination of the trauma and
also, you know, I came from a family of creatives and artists
and, you know, my mother and my sister, they're both actors and
(14:33):
writers and, and I and I watchedmy mom struggle in life and we,
you know, we didn't have much and there was every day was a
struggle. And I vowed as a young child,
I'm not going to do this. I'm going to pick a really
dependable, secure career that Iwhere I won't have to be
(14:53):
constantly worried about me and panicked about money.
However, I was disregarding the fact that I'm actually a
creative person. I'm not a scientific person.
I mean, I've become one and I, and that, that, that part of my
brain, like I said, it's, it's definitely there.
I love solving problems. I love helping people.
I love doing that creatively, but I also have a creative side.
(15:14):
I mean, I'm an opera singer. I've done dance.
I, I recently actually took up watercolor painting, which is
really fun and highly therapeutic.
I highly recommend it to folks because you really can't.
But you know, we talk about our current, you know,
technologically obsessed world and state and how we are so
(15:35):
fried. Our brains are so fried and
we're multitasking all the time.And that in and of itself can be
a background sort of level, low level burnout.
I mean, never mind what we're seeing on our phones, but just
that act of being so disconnected and so distracted
and so bombarded with stimuli from all sides that when you're
doing a single focus task like painting or like something
(16:01):
creative, you literally can't. I mean, you can't be on your
phone and watercolor. I mean, you could, but it'd be
really bad. I love these sort of actions and
these activities that really allow us that space to single
task. And I think that we need to do
more of that. And the more you do it, the more
you're able to exercise that part of your brain that has been
(16:24):
kind of dormant and flaccid 'cause we are not working on
that focus and that creativity and that breathing room for our
our mind and our soul to really kind of yeah.
Exist you're so right and it's like you know our environment
and everything has advanced so far and so quickly, but we have
(16:45):
not advanced that quickly and solike yes, that's what people.
Don't realize that the human genome, like it doesn't evolve
over decades. It evolves over millennia.
And yes, so we're still like kind of primitive cave people on
a biological basis. But I mean, you know, we're
living in this technological world that is advancing day by
(17:07):
day by leaps and bounds, and brains are not necessarily ready
for it. And, you know, and AI is here
now, so we'll see what that brings.
Exactly. Kind of terrifying, kind of
awesome, but absolutely. I look for you to dive into that
a little bit more because for someone like who's very much
relating to your story that likehigh achiever go getter, you
know, grinding, how did you get to a place where it was like go,
(17:31):
go, go, go to a place where you could be more mindful and have
those single tasks to really focus on?
Can you talk about that evolution?
Because that can be really challenging for somebody to get
into that space. So challenging and I think that
I was one of those people that you know, when I, when I quote
UN quote, took a break from medicine, when I left medicine,
Oh, I'm going to have this like relaxed life and maybe I'll
(17:53):
live, live in the country. No, I, I remained in New York
City because I love New York City, but New York City talk
about sensory overload and bombardment, multitasking.
And then I ended up going to work at a startup, a tech
startup, a health technology startup.
And so I was working crazy hours, pretty similar hours to
(18:14):
medicine. I was really happy that I was
leaving work at 11:00 at night and not being there overnight.
So I thought this was great. I was like, this is a life.
But I just did keep grinding andI did keep pushing myself
because it actually felt familiar.
It felt comfortable and I think on some level, physiologically,
(18:35):
I was addicted to stress and to high cortisol levels.
And so I sought them out and I kept going and I kept going and
I kept going and that persisted for a while.
It actually didn't really changeuntil I had a baby and because
then after that I ended up working at a pharmaceutical
company and, and worked in industry for many years and
(18:56):
became an executive and was, youknow, working crazy hours and
traveling and all of these things.
And you know, the business worlddefinitely got its and forks and
cutthroat moments. And so I was really in a very
stressful environment and I sortof so I kept putting myself from
stressful environment to stressful environment, stressful
environment. Had a baby, everything kind of
(19:18):
felt the wheels fell off, had all kinds of postpartum issues,
ended up with autoimmune disease.
And that was another huge wake up call of like, OK, whatever
I'm doing is not working anymore.
It worked for a while. I pushed myself incredibly hard
in my teens and my 20s And did it work then?
I mean, no, my mental health wasin the toilet, but my but
(19:41):
physically I got through it. But I couldn't understand.
I was so healthy and I was eating all the kale and doing
all the exercise and doing all these things.
And then I realized it, that it was the stress that was killing
me and that was triggering all of these things.
And so I had to drastically change my life.
I had to take a step back. I started meditating.
(20:02):
I had always avoided meditation because I used to say, oh, I'm
too stressed to meditate. So ironically, I kind of forced
myself to do it was again, it was one of those intuitive
things where I know this is whatI need because it's the opposite
of what I want. Yeah.
And so I started meditating. This was back in 2018 and I have
(20:27):
literally, I can show you my headspace stats, which my
husband makes fun of me for cuz he's like you're literally
gamifying meditation and like a competition to you.
Like that's the that's like the antithesis of meditation.
But I have meditated every single day since me.
I've not missed a day. It just became part of my life,
and I do it at least once a day,if not multiple times a day.
(20:50):
It's super easy. I know folks sometimes find
meditation daunting or intimidating.
They think of like a Buddhist monk sitting on a cushion in
silence for an hour. It doesn't have to be like that,
and it can really be as simple as I think.
When I started, I was doing a minute between 1:00 and 3:00
minutes a day. And I love Headspace because it
has all of these guided meditations, you know, so that
(21:13):
that someone is talking you through it.
He's really wonderful. This guy Andy, who used to be a
monk, he's like talks you through it.
And so you can really start small and you can build
incrementally on that. And it, it really helps you to
focus on your breathing. It helps you to release, you
know, your thoughts and all the intense control that we exert
(21:37):
sometimes on our thoughts or ourworries and just let them go.
They often use the analogy of a blue sky and the clouds will
come and go. And don't get hung up focusing
on this one particular cloud andobsessing over it because it's
going to pass. And then another cloud will come
and they will come and go and come and go.
(21:58):
And the blue sky will always be there.
And I think that's a great metaphor for, you know, life.
And so, yeah, I think that definitely making some
intentional choices and changingmy life and living really
differently was not easy. I mean, I'm definitely a type A
(22:18):
overachiever, perfectionist kindof person, eldest daughter, you
know, all of those things. But I, I really had to
drastically change my life because I had no choice.
My body gave me no choice. And then after that diagnosis, I
ended up having a lot of mental health issues and eventually I
had a crisis and that and turnedout to be diagnosed with a
(22:40):
complex PTSD. And that was the year before the
pandemic. It was a few months before the
pandemic actually. So bizarrely, by the time the
pandemic came around, I was pretty good.
I was meditating, I had everything was under control and
address and I was like, OK, I can handle this now.
Whereas I think if it had happened a few years before, it
(23:03):
would have been really, really much more traumatic than it
already was, you know, for all of us, because we did all go
through the collective trauma from them I was getting out of.
Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
It's still impacting people today for sure.
And you know, I so appreciate you sharing that.
Because when you have the resources and the tools, even if
the external world is crazy, youcan come back home to yourself
(23:25):
and be able to regulate yourself.
But when you don't have those tools, even the smallest things
can throw you off. And especially when you're going
through big things, it's really catastrophic when you are
experiencing that without any resources to help yourself.
So I really try to resource people and I have this tool kit
and you know, so breathing is another one of the really simple
things that we can do. And you know, breathing is an
(23:49):
automatic function. We don't think about it.
We breathe without, you know, conscious control.
But the cool thing about breathing is that you can also
consciously control it. So there's these these two ways
of thinking about breathing. And when you consciously
approach breath and try to slow things down and breathe deeply
or breathe in specific patterns,we are activating that
(24:13):
parasympathetic nervous system which slows things down.
Because when we're in that constant sympathetic OverDrive
of fight or flight or freeze or fawn or those, you know, those
intense levels that were not meant to live at, we really need
to to switch over to the other half of our nervous system,
(24:33):
which is the rest digest calm. Yeah.
And that allows us to to do that.
So meditation, breathing, going for a gentle walk, like being in
nature, different things that can help calm you down, certain
types of music, vibration, There's lots of different tools
(24:53):
that we can incorporate such that we are not always in this
heightened state. And then when you you get to a
crisis or you get to an event and you don't have those tools
or those resources or that resilience, then it really can
throw you off. And if you do, you can, you
know, maybe handle it a little bit better.
(25:14):
Absolutely. It just gives that bigger buffer
system of when things do happen,which will inevitably happen
because it's life that you can buffer it better without having
that big peaks and valleys that you have to dig down.
We're going to have ups and downs.
I have a middle schooler, we have drama going on.
And I think ordinarily this drama would have really thrown
me off and I would have gone into a spiral and panic and lots
(25:35):
of things. And, and now I'm like, what's
the OK, we're going to get through it?
It's, you know, it's teenage stuff, preteen stuff, it's only
11, but we're already dealing with the tween teen stuff.
And so, you know, but you just got to, you got to breathe
through it. And you have to model that Kong
for your kids because they see us very heightened and freaking
(25:56):
out and that makes them feel unstable or that's, or they
learn that's how they're supposed to react.
So I think it's really good to model that for our kids, too.
Yeah, absolutely. And Mylet talks about that.
Most things are caught, not taught.
And so you can teach your kids all the right things, but
they're going to catch how you are actually behaving, the
self-care that you're doing, theintegration of those skills,
(26:17):
They're going to see that and model that.
So it's so powerful because I think this is a big sticking
point, especially for moms whereyou have that guilt of like, I
don't have time to take care of myself, I have to take care of
the kids. But you truly are taking care of
your children when you are taking care of yourself.
It's so powerful. Yeah, if we could really teach
moms one thing is that if you don't take take care of yourself
first, you will not be able to take care of anyone else.
(26:41):
Exactly. I mean, yes, there are moments
and there are seasons when you have a newborn on it.
Okay, you're not necessarily taking care of that much, but I
mean, you still have to, you still have to get sleep, you
have to get food and water. You can.
I would just go days without really, you know, taking a break
ever. And and when I finally ended up
taking a break in 2018 and when I started meditating, I went on
(27:04):
a retreat. I went on a yoga retreat.
I realized I hadn't left my kid and she was 5.
I had not left for one day with a 5 year old And I and I was
like, no wonder I'm burned out. So I definitely burned out again
in motherhood by over overdoing it and over giving and over.
And that's when I developed autoimmune disease And I was
(27:25):
like, OK, it's something has to shift, something has to change
because I can't keep pouring from an empty cup and living in
OverDrive. Absolutely.
One thing, yeah. You know it's not good for my
kid. What was that?
Oh, it's just not good for me. It's not good for.
My kid, absolutely. No way.
Yeah, 100%. And one thing I want to go into
because, you know, we talked about like how it's so subtle,
you don't even realize you're burning out until you do hit
(27:47):
those walls and those big healththings.
In hindsight, looking back, whatwere some of the signs that you
might have missed during the journey that now you see, oh,
that was a sign of burnout we saw in the middle of it.
There are three classic hallmarks that make up the
definition, the pillars of burnout.
And this was, you know, based onresearch and the queening of the
(28:09):
term in the 1970s by Doctor Herbert Freudenberger and
Christina Doctor Christina Maslow.
So number one is exhaustion. And so I think it's often very
hard for us to separate what is sort of normal exhaustion and
what is burnout exhaustion. And now you know, obviously when
you're working in medicine and you're doing night shifts and
(28:29):
you're you're doing overnight, you're working for 30, it's
changed when I was in medicine, we would still do like 36 hour
shifts and it's they're no wonder you're exhausted.
So you just sort of rationalize it and you justify it.
But and same with motherhood. If you're up all night with a
newborn for months and months and months and months, you're
going to be exhausted. But this is sort of different.
(28:52):
It's like a bone tiredness, an inability to get out of bed and
rest doesn't necessarily help. So it's not something that,
well, if I just take a break this weekend or get a better
night's sleep or oh, I'm going to go on vacation and I'm going
to help. And so I think I would take
these vacations to try to restore and recharge and kind of
(29:14):
escape from my life. And I would be so exhausted when
I was coming back. And I would, I would really
dread coming back. Like I didn't feel refreshed.
I wasn't ready. I was like, I'm not ready.
I can't, I can't go back. I can't do it again.
So I think that profound exhaustion is #1 #2 is a tricky
one that I think a lot of us ignore.
And it's hard to wrap your mind around it sometimes.
(29:36):
And that is cynicism as it relates to your job or to your
caregiving. And you can develop something
called compassion fatigue, whereyou're actually no longer able
to feel compassion about the people you're supposed to be
taking care of. And it's mostly healthcare
workers that this happens to you, but also, you know, people
(29:58):
in other professions like army or police or certainly teachers,
A lot of people fall prey to this.
And so I should have noticed that I didn't.
I was very cynical about everything.
And you start to lose hope and lose trust in the organizations
that you work with. Maybe your values no longer feel
(30:19):
aligned. And you also kind of self
isolate because your peers, maybe you don't feel that
they're on the same page. And I sort of looked around and
I thought, everyone else seems to really be enjoying this.
How how are they enjoying this? Like this is literally, it feels
like torture in some ways. And but I just kept justifying
(30:41):
and ignoring and moving on. And then lastly is decreased
productivity and decreased concentration, inability to
focus you. You're maybe you're getting your
work done, but you're kind of phoning it in.
And it's, it's sort of the quietquitting phenomenon that we see
a lot nowadays. And yeah, I was still doing my
work, but I was really dragging my feet and just didn't feel
(31:04):
like I could concentrate or focus and had no desire to.
And then you feel a lot of shame, a lot of guilt around
that. That's what you don't tell
anyone and try to go through themotions, but it's like going
through quicksand every day. And so all this, all the warning
signs were there. And the physical things too,
like really terrible sleep, lotsof nightmares, lots of heart
(31:26):
palpitations all the time and lots of holding your breath, not
actually breathing deeply. I mean, all the signs were
there. Yeah.
And then and then seeking comfort in things that are not
necessarily good for you. So spending too much time on
social media, binging Netflix for days and days on end.
(31:47):
You know, in those days, we didn't have that but.
Or substances, you know, alcohol, drugs.
Those are those are really big warning signs.
Thank you so much for sharing those.
That's so helpful for anyone who's like, maybe in the thick
of it, like, OK, yeah, I feel that.
I feel that like it's so relatable.
I mean, I'm there's plenty of moments in my life.
(32:09):
I was like, oh, I was definitelythere.
Yeah. And I feel like if you, if you
get to the point where you're even suspecting that you might
be burned out. Yeah, burned out.
Arm, yeah, and. Don't ignore that check engine
light. Yeah.
Oh, totally. Engine light comes on.
Pay attention. Pay attention to your body.
(32:30):
It's sending you signals it willtake over.
Like if you do not rest, your body will force you to rest at
some point. Exactly, I always equate to that
toddler like mommy mommy and you've ignore it long enough it
starts screaming and it will scream at you eventually.
Or, or you turn around and it's quiet, but the walls have been
painted. Yeah.
(32:50):
Yes, right. Exactly.
Yes, something will happen. It's it's all.
Something will happen, somethingwill give, yeah.
Yeah, for that person who's listening, they're like, Yep, I
am burned out. I know I need a change.
But maybe they're like I, you know, financially I, I can't
make a change. They're selling themselves.
I can't make a change financially or time wise or I
don't have, you know, there's all these real life reasons why
(33:12):
they feel like they are just literally trapped in this space.
What's the step they can take? So yeah, that's a great
question. And I think for a lot of us, we
do get caught up in this spiral of I can't, I can't.
There's I cannot change my life.There's nothing I can do
differently. I mean, I said to myself, I
can't. I mean, I can't, I can't leave
(33:33):
menace. I can't.
There's no, there's no way. Now, I am not suggesting that
what I did is necessarily the way everyone should go.
You don't necessarily have to like toss a grenade into your
life or jump off a Cliff. But what I do talk about is my
mantra that I teach everyone that is so simple and so direct.
It's not necessarily easy to achieve, but it is do one thing
(33:58):
less and you know, do one thing less.
It's very basic, but it can be very powerful.
We are always trying to cram in more into our lives, whether
that's running around and doing a million things, whether it's
squeezing in one more patient orone more meeting or one more
school activity for the kids. It's like more, more, more.
(34:20):
And that in and of itself can contribute to burnout.
And if we are able to just startremoving things from our plate
one at a time, then perhaps thatwill give us a little bit more
breathing room. Time to re evaluate, time to say
like, hey, is my is it really myjob or is it other things?
If it's my job, can I change roles?
(34:44):
Can I change responsibilities? Can I speak to HR?
Can I speak to my supervisor? Can I find out what resources
are available through my workplace?
Because sometimes there are and we just don't know about them.
Can I switch departments or do Ineed to change jobs altogether?
Do I need to change companies? Maybe my job and my career is
(35:05):
actually a good fit. But this particular company, I
don't like the way they do things and I don't agree with
their values, but I still want to be, you know, an engineer or
something. So you just need to give
yourself that breathing room to figure things out.
Maybe possibly see a counselor, see a career counselor, work
with a coach, work with somebodywho can help put the pieces
(35:26):
together. And, but just give yourself that
space. So I, I say like, you know, it's
like you're running around and doing errands and can you cross
one off your list? Do you really need to do this
all, all of those? Do you need to be in all of
those meetings back-to-back everyday?
Can you cross a meeting off, youknow, delete, delay, delegate
(35:46):
and it really works. And people say, oh, but you're
going to be doing less, so you're going to be less
productive and it's going to be,it's not going to be good.
Well, the analogy that I often use is like, let's say you're
clearing the table after a big dinner party and you've got all
these plates and things and piled up.
And then you notice there's One Cup that's still left on the
table and you know, what do you need to do?
(36:08):
You're going to try to go back and get that cup and put it on
right. I know what's going to happen.
All the dishes are going to crash to the floor.
And then you're going to be spending all of this extra time
sweeping up broken glass, cleaning the floor, ordering new
dishes. I mean, it's, it's going to
create so much more work. But if you had just left it on
the table, if you had gone to the sink and then gone back,
(36:30):
made a little short second trip,just it would have saved you so
much. And I think that's sort of the
principle and the concept. It's about prioritizing being
intentional, what is really important and critical, what
matters and what's really contributing to outcomes or
efficacy or success, and what isjust extra work that we're
(36:53):
piling on ourselves. Yeah, it's a really great tip
and just so useful because it's it's so actionable.
It's just that one thing. It doesn't feel like you have
to, yeah, overhaul your whole life.
It's just. Doable.
It's doable if you start there and you see what that feels
like. Oh, yeah, this feels good.
I'm gonna do tomorrow. I'm gonna do two things less,
you know, just find that balance.
(37:14):
Figure out what that tipping point is.
Where you are doing the things you need to do and what needs to
get done, but you are still prioritizing your physical and
mental health and allowing yourself that space to believe
and to exist as a human being, not a human doing.
Exactly. Yeah, which because it's such a
(37:35):
trap so many of us get into. He's getting into this busyness.
And then it's like January becomes June, and then it
becomes the next year and the next year and you look back and
you're like, where have I been? I haven't even lived.
It's it's right. And, and people say, oh, how are
you? Oh, busy.
Like I'm really, really busy. Right.
Like it's an honor. Like, it's a badge of honor.
And, you know, we're just, oh, it's like hustle and busy and
(37:55):
yeah, so busy. And so I stopped saying that.
I'm like, yeah, things are good.You know, we're getting through
it. I mean, well, nowadays I don't
say things are good. I say, oh, I'm getting through.
Yeah. Each day, yeah.
It's so important to have that authenticity, yeah, like we're
all going to have. To like put limits on my
calendar. I can't do back-to-back to back,
(38:15):
you know, patience or interviewsall day long.
It's it's too much. You need a little bit of a
break. Yeah, absolutely.
Well, now we go into like, well,deeper because I know you talked
about a lot of these patterns were like stemmed from your
childhood. And how did you navigate like
understanding your belief systemand then rewriting some of those
beliefs that you have? Oh boy, how much time do we
have? That's a question.
(38:38):
So I, I of course, did a lot of therapy and a lot of talk
therapy as well as somatic resourcing and trauma therapy.
And so I highly, highly recommend if folks are dealing
with complex trauma or PTSD, please seek out a trauma
therapist as a regular therapist.
(38:58):
It's not enough. And then I also engaged in a
technique that was I had never heard of.
I didn't know whether it was going to work or it wasn't.
I was very skeptical. It was called neurofeedback.
And it was a really interesting technology where they place
electrodes on your brain. It's non invasive on your on
your scalp, not on your brain. And you listen to this bizarre
(39:22):
music and it's and they monitor your brain waves kind of like an
like a minimal form of an EEG. And they look for patterns in
your brain waves that indicate, you know, stress or anxiety or,
you know, dysfunctional patterns.
And they interrupt those patterns by playing this music
and, and, and putting these subliminal audio clicks that
(39:44):
interrupt the flow of, of the brain waves.
And I, as a neurologist, I was like, come on, this is for real.
And I absolutely swear by this technique and I loved it and it
helped me so much. It helped me with the
flashbacks, with panic, with overall just nervous system
(40:04):
elevation and trauma. And so I highly recommend
neurofeedback for folks. And then of course, meditation.
Yeah, amazing. I love that.
I always let you know this. You never know what tool's going
to click with you. So I appreciate you sharing a
lot of different examples and it's like being open to.
Yeah, open to new technology andthere's EMDR is another good
one. I didn't do that one and there's
(40:26):
some great books out there. I mean, obviously the the one
that's most well known, that is phenomenal is The Body Keeps the
Score that's written by a psychiatrist, Doctor Bessel
Vanderkolk. It's amazing, amazing book that
talks all about trauma. What My Bones Know by Stephanie
Fu. So that's a memoir about trauma
(40:47):
that is very hard to read. She talks about her childhood
abuse and but it is so well doneand so well written and she
offers so many insights. And then she talks about her
healing journey in the second-half of the book and how
she overcame all of this, and it's very inspiring.
So I highly recommend that one. And then lastly, someone that I
(41:07):
interviewed on my podcast recently, Brittany Piper, Body
First Healing. And that is an incredible book
that talks about all the somaticwork that we can do to heal
trauma. Doesn't necessarily have to
involve the cognitive talk therapy or the reliving and
retelling that a lot of trauma and memory things are stored in
(41:31):
the physical, in the body, and we can do things to release
that, to retrain our nervous system and to heal without
necessarily reactivating and reopening the trauma by
retelling it over and over. So it's really fascinating and
her story is incredible too. So I highly recommend some of
those resources. Yeah, thank you so much for
sharing. It's so powerful.
(41:53):
The body, it literally is like our greatest advocate.
And a lot of times when we have any kind of health issue and we,
you know, look down on our body and think it's our enemy.
But really, it's really trying to advocate for us and help us
and really understand what's going on below the surface.
So it's always sending you a message.
It's sending you an SOS. I was like, why are things
breaking? Why is it?
(42:13):
Why is my body betraying me? But it was loudly screaming like
you need to stop, you need to slow down.
Yeah, this is not sustainable. Yeah, it's so powerful when we
start listening to it and recognizing those signs before
hopefully we get, you know, before we get to something where
it is catastrophic and you have no other choice.
(42:35):
So it's it's so powerful. And I hope that this plants the
seed to anyone who's maybe experiencing some of the signs
and symptoms that you shared to really understand maybe what's
going on below the surface and take some action to.
Change. Well, yeah, I mean, there there
are legitimate physiologic concerns that may need to be
addressed. I mean, yes, a lot of burnout is
psychological and emotional, butthere can be physiological
(42:58):
components. There can be thyroid disease,
there can be adrenal dysfunction, there can be
anemia. There can be all kinds of
contributors to fatigue. You know, mitochondrial
dysfunction could have an imbalance in hormones.
You know, so there's so many factors that play into it, which
is why I kind of love to merge functional medicine with all of
(43:19):
my burnout work and try to figure out, you know, what is
physical, what is mental, how dothey intersect and what can we
do to interrupt or rebalance, you know, patterns.
It's microbiome is a huge factorin a component of we're learning
mental health. So when things are out of
balance, when things are off, when things are not optimal from
(43:42):
a functional medicine perspective, you can actually
address those things. And that is, it's a, it's a,
it's a feed forward or it's a, you know, what vicious circle of
what is contributing to what, what is physical, what is mental
and how do they feed each other and intersect.
And so by interrupting some of those patterns and loops and
dynamics, we can have impact on on all things.
(44:06):
Yeah. And I think it's so crucial when
you have the integration of the mind and the body, you can't
separate the two. It's not there's not one part
that you can address and leave out the other.
Everything's interconnected. So absolutely essential to
understand the whole picture andhave that holistic approach to
it. I mean, it's as simple as by
doing breathing techniques, by doing meditation, I mean, I can
(44:26):
literally watch my heart rate go, Yeah.
And blood pressure, like everything just go way down.
And if you can do that in a few seconds, you can imagine the
impact of the mind body connection on your overall
health and well-being. Yeah, absolutely.
And for somebody who want to connect with you, dive into a
deeper How can they find you? Sure, absolutely.
(44:48):
Yeah. You can head over to my website,
which is www.drzarya. That's DRZARY a.com.
Please come hang out with me on Instagram.
I that's where I spend most of my time.
And on there you can check out the podcast.
You can check out my freebie. So yes, it's at Doctor Zari
Aruben on Instagram. And yes, I do have a brand new
(45:10):
podcast. It's called Outsmart burnout.
And definitely come take a listen cause I've interviewed a
lot of the folks that I've mentioned and had some amazing
conversations about ways that women can learn to develop
resilience and put these tools and toolkits in our toolbox and
really outsmart burnout before it takes hold.
(45:34):
Yeah, absolutely. I'll put everything in the show
notes. So if you're listening,
definitely connected. Doctor Azaria and I appreciate
everything you shared today. There are so many things that I
know will deeply resonate was about someone who is in the
thick of it right now and reallyunderstand that there's another
way that they can live their life to the fullest.
Please do not suffer in silence.Please tell somebody.
Please reach out, talk to a friend, talk to someone at work,
(45:57):
reach out to me there. Help us out there.
And you shouldn't have to go through it alone.
Yeah, and then hopefully after this conversation, you realize
you're not alone. There's so many of us.
There's so many of us. Yeah.
So it just may look different, but it's it's the same.
I will also be launching a women's community, a a small
membership community for workingtogether on burnout and
(46:21):
functional medicine aspects of burnout, and that's going to be
launching the fall. And so that's a place where we
could come together and have some community and realize that,
yeah, you're not alone. And we're all going through this
together. We'll, we'll work on stuff
together, we'll troubleshoot, we'll have educational sessions
and Q&A. And so that's another fun way
for folks to to get involved. Amazing.
(46:43):
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you so much. And again, for anyone who's
listening, there's something that stuck out to you share this
episode so that this can be spread to even more people.
So thank you so much again, and I really appreciate everything
you shared today. Thank you, Kelly.
Absolutely. Thank you so much for tuning
into this episode. If there was something in this
episode that really resonated with you or a message that stuck
(47:05):
with you, please share it with someone else.
It's only through sharing these messages that we can start to
rewire our minds to feel empowered and live the life that
we truly desire. Please subscribe so you never
miss an episode. And again, thank you so much for
tuning in to Rewiring Health.
Welcome to Rewiring Health. If you're a high achieving woman
feeling trapped in the endless cycle of guilt and exhaustion
from always putting others first, then this is your
sanctuary. I'm Doctor Kelly Kessler, your
dedicated empowerment mentor, and I'm here to tell you that
it's time to reclaim your peace,health, and happiness.
(00:20):
Imagine waking up every day feeling energized and
unapologetically living for yourself.
Together, we'll break down the walls that have been holding you
back and unlock the vibrant, unstoppable force that you truly
are. It's time to put yourself first,
embrace your authentic self, andlive a life that's not just
endured, but celebrated. Now, let's dive in.
(00:51):
Have you ever noticed your skin reflex?
Your stress. I used to struggle with mine
Dry, dull, reactive, until I started pairing nervous system
regulation with products that actually honor your body.
That's why I love milk and butterflies.
They handcraft every formula with 100% organic ingredients
and powerful aromatherapy oils. They aren't just products for
(01:14):
your skin, they're rituals that restore hydration, resilience,
and calm even in the busiest seasons of our life.
You can try them for yourself and feel the difference.
Head to milk and butterflies anduse my promo code Doctor Kelly
for free shipping. That's DRKELLY for free
shipping. Also, check out the link in the
(01:34):
description for the podcast. In this current society where
you're expected to do it all, hold it all together, show up
with perfection and a smile on your face, it's no wonder that
behind closed doors, there's this inner struggle, this
feeling of exhaustion, this feeling of suffocating in the
(01:55):
life that you're trying to keep going.
And burnout doesn't let us know with a gentle knock that it's
here. It comes plowing through the
door when it's too late and it'salready set in.
And that is why I'm so honored to have Doctor Zariah Rubin on
the podcast today. She is a Harvard educated
functional physician, Ted, ex speaker, and burnout expert.
(02:17):
She helps high achieving women in midlife break free from
burnout to reclaim their passion, purpose, and joy.
Combining expertise in neurology, functional medicine,
mindfulness, and nervous system healing, she creates A
multidisciplinary approach to breaking the burnout cycle.
She is also the host of the brand new podcast Outsmart
(02:39):
Burnout. I love this conversation with
her. There are so many things that
resonate with me and I'm sure will very much resonate with
you. She shares the subtle signs of
how burnout comes into our livesand how we can reclaim our peace
and start to live a more fulfilling life.
All right, Welcome, doctor Zarya.
Ruben, I'm so honored to have you on the podcast and I can't
(03:00):
wait to get into everything we're going to talk about today.
Well, I'm so happy to be here, Kelly.
Thanks for thanks for inviting me.
Yeah, absolutely. So I mean, we connected on your
podcast and there's so much thatcame out of it and just this is
going to be just another continuation on to an awesome
conversation. That's something that we can all
relate to is burnout. And I know that's what you talk
(03:21):
about, what you've lived, and I would love to just start there
because it's something that so many, many of us have
experienced or maybe are experiencing some of the
symptoms or we're not aware that's actually burnout.
Can you talk about your story and how it showed up in your
life? Sure.
Yeah. So I I love that intro.
And I think that you touched already touched on a very
(03:42):
important point is that I think so many of us are struggling
with burnout and almost none of us realize it.
So I have yet to find a person who said to me I was going
through all of these things and I knew I was burned out.
That's never how the story goes.The story goes I had no idea I
was burned out, I just thought this was normal.
(04:04):
Or I just kept going until XYZ until something happened, until
a major medical issue popped up or until a major sort of event
woke me up. And that's, that's basically the
story that I keep hearing. And that's, that's my story as
well. So I think if you had asked me,
'cause I, my first burnout was in 2007.
(04:28):
So if you had, or 2006 actually.So if you had asked me then if I
was burned out, I would have said no.
I'm just really stressed and I'mworking really hard and I'm, I'm
just, this is what adulting feels like.
So I was, you know, quote UN quote living the dream.
So from the outside looking in, my life was incredible.
(04:50):
Like I was finishing all of my medical training.
I had gone through four years ofpre Med, four years of Med
school, five years of residency,2 years of fellowship.
I had worked a little bit as a neurologist.
So I was finishing my fellowshipat Columbia in New York City.
I was working at this top hospital living in New York.
I mean, everyone thought I was living the Sex and the City
(05:10):
life, but really I had a very tiny apartment and much, you
know, fewer shoes. But but it was like every day I
would wake up and it would feel awful.
I was so exhausted. I was just bone tired.
And yes, medicine is an exhausting and punishing and
unforgiving kind of career, but it was beyond that.
(05:31):
And I just, it didn't feel like I could keep doing it.
I sort of thought to myself, howcan I keep doing this for
another 30-40 years? I can't even do it for another
day and my mental health was really kind of hanging in the
balance. I was probably binge drinking a
little more than I should have been.
(05:51):
On the weekends, I every morningwhen I would go to work, I would
have to take the subway and I would jokingly stand on the
platform and say to myself, should I get on it or jump in
front of it? And that's pretty serious.
But I ignored all the warning signs.
I ignored like my heart was always racing.
(06:12):
I was always anxious. I was having terrible sleep
nightmares all the time and justjust kept going.
You know, I just thought, I guess this is what my life is
going to be like. And I was, I accepted it.
I was resigned because the the alternative was sort of
unthinkable, like what am I going to do?
(06:33):
Quit medicine? Nobody quits their dream.
And I had done so much training.It was the fallacy of like sunk
costs, like I, but I've come so far.
I can't just ditch it. And then of course, the
financial aspect, I was in incredible amounts of debt and
they thought, what can I do? I can't, I can't do anything
(06:54):
differently. And so I kept going.
And then one night I got I got my wake up call, which was
literally in the form of a phonecall.
And my best friend from medical school was calling me to say
that her husband had been playing Frisbee, collapsed.
And they rushed him to the hospital.
(07:15):
And I said, but he's OK, right? And she said no, They tried to
resuscitate him, but he didn't make it.
Oh. My gosh.
And that the world kind of stopped at that point.
And that was, I almost dropped the phone and had this crushing
sense of, you know, grief and just shock at this news.
(07:41):
And what ended up happening was after I sort of came out of that
and, you know, helped my friend and was grieving and it, it was
a, a real wake up call for me interms of, Oh my gosh, I cannot
keep living my life like this. Like I, I, I have to change
(08:02):
something because if this is it,but this is all there is.
I, it can't be this. And so it was a very, very
difficult decision, but it was the only decision that I could
make, which was to walk away from my medical career.
And so I left. And the only way I got through
it was I came across this, this Turkish proverb that said, no
(08:24):
matter how far you've gone down the wrong Rd. turn back.
And that's what allowed me to leave.
But it's it, I'm not going to lie and say that it was easy to
do that. It was a very difficult because
it's, it's all wrapped up in identity.
Because I think that for a lot of us, like our work is more
(08:45):
than just a job. It's who am I if I'm not a
doctor? So I had to begin that process
of figuring that out. Yeah.
Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for sharing.
It's something that, you know, we all have maybe a different
version of that, but it can leadto what you were experiencing
and the complexity of it and that that depth of do I or don't
(09:06):
I? And what does my future look
like if I say? What does my future look like if
I don't say? And each one can feel scary in
its own right. I was like, you know what?
I have to jump off the Cliff andhopefully there's a parachute
somewhere. I don't know that there will be,
but I there's no, there's no other option.
It felt like, you know, it was like being chased by lions.
There's a Cliff and you're like,OK, well, here we go.
(09:30):
Right. Absolutely.
In that decision, how much guidance did you seek inward,
inwardly versus like externally?Like did you seek out guidance
outside yourself of like what the right decision is or was it
really just like a personal endeavor?
It was, you know, I obviously I had to speak to the people in my
(09:51):
training program and my program director was fortunately an
incredible man who was very supportive of my decision
actually, because I was really torn apart by it.
And of course, family and friends and I did seek some
professional help, but they weren't that helpful that I
think that they couldn't wrap their head around what I was
(10:12):
doing. And so eventually I just had to
make the decision for myself. It was one of those decisions
where it almost, it wasn't a decision like it was taken out
of my hands of life became so surreal at that point that this
was I was pretty much single minded and single focus that
(10:32):
this this was the only thing I could do.
There was no other option. And, and, you know, I haven't
really looked back or regretted it.
And it's been now it's been almost, you know, 20 years.
Yeah, yeah. That moment after you made that
decision, what did your life look like at that moment when
you took made the decision? You jumped off the Cliff.
You're you're there. What does that look like and
(10:54):
feel like? Was there clarity?
Was there relief or was there like anxiety?
Oh, I mean all of the things. It was really interesting.
So I sometimes instinctively I, you know, I'm a very rational,
logical, scientific person and yet I think I am actually more
of an emotional right brained, intuitive person.
(11:14):
When when it really comes down to it, I really train that left
brain really hard in school and everything.
But I often times will just get these messages or these
instincts of I need to do X. So I started tango dancing and I
know that sounds insane. One day when I read a book, I'll
talk about the tango dancing andhow it kind of saved my life
(11:36):
because I was in such a state ofnumb, cut off from my emotions.
It was too painful to really experience this intense, you
know, burnout and intense panic that I was feeling at work all
the time, that I had cut myself off from basically feeling
(11:58):
anything. And so I started tango dancing,
and at first I was really terrible at it, and then I got
really good at it. And then I ended up going to
Argentina to dance. And it's like this very intense
emotional connection that you have with a stranger for the few
minutes that you're dancing. And it's, it's very intense,
(12:20):
it's very intimate. It's very emotional and
passionate. And I was like, oh, I can
actually still feel these things.
These things are still here. And wow, I didn't know what it
was like to actually experience that.
So it really had to be this awakening of, Oh my gosh, like,
I am human. I do have all of these feelings.
(12:42):
I do have all of these intense emotions.
I need to go through them. I need to process them.
It wasn't for another maybe 10 years or so, almost 15 years,
that I was actually diagnosed with complex PTSD.
I didn't know it at the time. If I had known it at the time,
(13:03):
things might have been different.
It stemmed from a lot of childhood trauma and childhood
medical trauma. So that was tied into, you know,
I jokingly say in my Ted talk, trauma is not really a great
foundation for making a career choice, so I don't recommend it.
But that was kind of what I did.And then unknowingly,
unwittingly, I was sort of re exposing myself to that trauma
(13:28):
every single day, being a doctor.
And no wonder it didn't work forme.
And no wonder I kind of fell apart and eventually had to.
I had to walk away from it. And that's why it can be so
sneaky because you're, you're literally reliving the patterns,
but so subconsciously, you don'trealize that it's the same thing
that's replaying in your life, but you're just finding
different scenarios to fill thatvoid.
(13:49):
And you're not doing this consciously.
You're not inviting this into your life, but you find yourself
in the same scenarios over and over and over again until you
have that wake up call. And just as you were speaking, I
quote that came into my mind. I forget who said it, but it
says you're not exhausted because you're doing too much.
You're exhausted because you're not doing enough of what you
love. And when you talk about the
tango dancing and like drawing into things that are giving you
(14:12):
life, breathing life into you, that is like the true essence of
life. Like we're not meant to just go
through the motions and like we're meant to experience it.
So I just love that you invited that into your life.
Yeah, I think that it was a combination of the trauma and
also, you know, I came from a family of creatives and artists
and, you know, my mother and my sister, they're both actors and
(14:33):
writers and, and I and I watchedmy mom struggle in life and we,
you know, we didn't have much and there was every day was a
struggle. And I vowed as a young child,
I'm not going to do this. I'm going to pick a really
dependable, secure career that Iwhere I won't have to be
(14:53):
constantly worried about me and panicked about money.
However, I was disregarding the fact that I'm actually a
creative person. I'm not a scientific person.
I mean, I've become one and I, and that, that, that part of my
brain, like I said, it's, it's definitely there.
I love solving problems. I love helping people.
I love doing that creatively, but I also have a creative side.
(15:14):
I mean, I'm an opera singer. I've done dance.
I, I recently actually took up watercolor painting, which is
really fun and highly therapeutic.
I highly recommend it to folks because you really can't.
But you know, we talk about our current, you know,
technologically obsessed world and state and how we are so
(15:35):
fried. Our brains are so fried and
we're multitasking all the time.And that in and of itself can be
a background sort of level, low level burnout.
I mean, never mind what we're seeing on our phones, but just
that act of being so disconnected and so distracted
and so bombarded with stimuli from all sides that when you're
doing a single focus task like painting or like something
(16:01):
creative, you literally can't. I mean, you can't be on your
phone and watercolor. I mean, you could, but it'd be
really bad. I love these sort of actions and
these activities that really allow us that space to single
task. And I think that we need to do
more of that. And the more you do it, the more
you're able to exercise that part of your brain that has been
(16:24):
kind of dormant and flaccid 'cause we are not working on
that focus and that creativity and that breathing room for our
our mind and our soul to really kind of yeah.
Exist you're so right and it's like you know our environment
and everything has advanced so far and so quickly, but we have
(16:45):
not advanced that quickly and solike yes, that's what people.
Don't realize that the human genome, like it doesn't evolve
over decades. It evolves over millennia.
And yes, so we're still like kind of primitive cave people on
a biological basis. But I mean, you know, we're
living in this technological world that is advancing day by
(17:07):
day by leaps and bounds, and brains are not necessarily ready
for it. And, you know, and AI is here
now, so we'll see what that brings.
Exactly. Kind of terrifying, kind of
awesome, but absolutely. I look for you to dive into that
a little bit more because for someone like who's very much
relating to your story that likehigh achiever go getter, you
know, grinding, how did you get to a place where it was like go,
(17:31):
go, go, go to a place where you could be more mindful and have
those single tasks to really focus on?
Can you talk about that evolution?
Because that can be really challenging for somebody to get
into that space. So challenging and I think that
I was one of those people that you know, when I, when I quote
UN quote, took a break from medicine, when I left medicine,
Oh, I'm going to have this like relaxed life and maybe I'll
(17:53):
live, live in the country. No, I, I remained in New York
City because I love New York City, but New York City talk
about sensory overload and bombardment, multitasking.
And then I ended up going to work at a startup, a tech
startup, a health technology startup.
And so I was working crazy hours, pretty similar hours to
(18:14):
medicine. I was really happy that I was
leaving work at 11:00 at night and not being there overnight.
So I thought this was great. I was like, this is a life.
But I just did keep grinding andI did keep pushing myself
because it actually felt familiar.
It felt comfortable and I think on some level, physiologically,
(18:35):
I was addicted to stress and to high cortisol levels.
And so I sought them out and I kept going and I kept going and
I kept going and that persisted for a while.
It actually didn't really changeuntil I had a baby and because
then after that I ended up working at a pharmaceutical
company and, and worked in industry for many years and
(18:56):
became an executive and was, youknow, working crazy hours and
traveling and all of these things.
And you know, the business worlddefinitely got its and forks and
cutthroat moments. And so I was really in a very
stressful environment and I sortof so I kept putting myself from
stressful environment to stressful environment, stressful
environment. Had a baby, everything kind of
(19:18):
felt the wheels fell off, had all kinds of postpartum issues,
ended up with autoimmune disease.
And that was another huge wake up call of like, OK, whatever
I'm doing is not working anymore.
It worked for a while. I pushed myself incredibly hard
in my teens and my 20s And did it work then?
I mean, no, my mental health wasin the toilet, but my but
(19:41):
physically I got through it. But I couldn't understand.
I was so healthy and I was eating all the kale and doing
all the exercise and doing all these things.
And then I realized it, that it was the stress that was killing
me and that was triggering all of these things.
And so I had to drastically change my life.
I had to take a step back. I started meditating.
(20:02):
I had always avoided meditation because I used to say, oh, I'm
too stressed to meditate. So ironically, I kind of forced
myself to do it was again, it was one of those intuitive
things where I know this is whatI need because it's the opposite
of what I want. Yeah.
And so I started meditating. This was back in 2018 and I have
(20:27):
literally, I can show you my headspace stats, which my
husband makes fun of me for cuz he's like you're literally
gamifying meditation and like a competition to you.
Like that's the that's like the antithesis of meditation.
But I have meditated every single day since me.
I've not missed a day. It just became part of my life,
and I do it at least once a day,if not multiple times a day.
(20:50):
It's super easy. I know folks sometimes find
meditation daunting or intimidating.
They think of like a Buddhist monk sitting on a cushion in
silence for an hour. It doesn't have to be like that,
and it can really be as simple as I think.
When I started, I was doing a minute between 1:00 and 3:00
minutes a day. And I love Headspace because it
has all of these guided meditations, you know, so that
(21:13):
that someone is talking you through it.
He's really wonderful. This guy Andy, who used to be a
monk, he's like talks you through it.
And so you can really start small and you can build
incrementally on that. And it, it really helps you to
focus on your breathing. It helps you to release, you
know, your thoughts and all the intense control that we exert
(21:37):
sometimes on our thoughts or ourworries and just let them go.
They often use the analogy of a blue sky and the clouds will
come and go. And don't get hung up focusing
on this one particular cloud andobsessing over it because it's
going to pass. And then another cloud will come
and they will come and go and come and go.
(21:58):
And the blue sky will always be there.
And I think that's a great metaphor for, you know, life.
And so, yeah, I think that definitely making some
intentional choices and changingmy life and living really
differently was not easy. I mean, I'm definitely a type A
(22:18):
overachiever, perfectionist kindof person, eldest daughter, you
know, all of those things. But I, I really had to
drastically change my life because I had no choice.
My body gave me no choice. And then after that diagnosis, I
ended up having a lot of mental health issues and eventually I
had a crisis and that and turnedout to be diagnosed with a
(22:40):
complex PTSD. And that was the year before the
pandemic. It was a few months before the
pandemic actually. So bizarrely, by the time the
pandemic came around, I was pretty good.
I was meditating, I had everything was under control and
address and I was like, OK, I can handle this now.
Whereas I think if it had happened a few years before, it
(23:03):
would have been really, really much more traumatic than it
already was, you know, for all of us, because we did all go
through the collective trauma from them I was getting out of.
Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
It's still impacting people today for sure.
And you know, I so appreciate you sharing that.
Because when you have the resources and the tools, even if
the external world is crazy, youcan come back home to yourself
(23:25):
and be able to regulate yourself.
But when you don't have those tools, even the smallest things
can throw you off. And especially when you're going
through big things, it's really catastrophic when you are
experiencing that without any resources to help yourself.
So I really try to resource people and I have this tool kit
and you know, so breathing is another one of the really simple
things that we can do. And you know, breathing is an
(23:49):
automatic function. We don't think about it.
We breathe without, you know, conscious control.
But the cool thing about breathing is that you can also
consciously control it. So there's these these two ways
of thinking about breathing. And when you consciously
approach breath and try to slow things down and breathe deeply
or breathe in specific patterns,we are activating that
(24:13):
parasympathetic nervous system which slows things down.
Because when we're in that constant sympathetic OverDrive
of fight or flight or freeze or fawn or those, you know, those
intense levels that were not meant to live at, we really need
to to switch over to the other half of our nervous system,
(24:33):
which is the rest digest calm. Yeah.
And that allows us to to do that.
So meditation, breathing, going for a gentle walk, like being in
nature, different things that can help calm you down, certain
types of music, vibration, There's lots of different tools
(24:53):
that we can incorporate such that we are not always in this
heightened state. And then when you you get to a
crisis or you get to an event and you don't have those tools
or those resources or that resilience, then it really can
throw you off. And if you do, you can, you
know, maybe handle it a little bit better.
(25:14):
Absolutely. It just gives that bigger buffer
system of when things do happen,which will inevitably happen
because it's life that you can buffer it better without having
that big peaks and valleys that you have to dig down.
We're going to have ups and downs.
I have a middle schooler, we have drama going on.
And I think ordinarily this drama would have really thrown
me off and I would have gone into a spiral and panic and lots
(25:35):
of things. And, and now I'm like, what's
the OK, we're going to get through it?
It's, you know, it's teenage stuff, preteen stuff, it's only
11, but we're already dealing with the tween teen stuff.
And so, you know, but you just got to, you got to breathe
through it. And you have to model that Kong
for your kids because they see us very heightened and freaking
(25:56):
out and that makes them feel unstable or that's, or they
learn that's how they're supposed to react.
So I think it's really good to model that for our kids, too.
Yeah, absolutely. And Mylet talks about that.
Most things are caught, not taught.
And so you can teach your kids all the right things, but
they're going to catch how you are actually behaving, the
self-care that you're doing, theintegration of those skills,
(26:17):
They're going to see that and model that.
So it's so powerful because I think this is a big sticking
point, especially for moms whereyou have that guilt of like, I
don't have time to take care of myself, I have to take care of
the kids. But you truly are taking care of
your children when you are taking care of yourself.
It's so powerful. Yeah, if we could really teach
moms one thing is that if you don't take take care of yourself
first, you will not be able to take care of anyone else.
(26:41):
Exactly. I mean, yes, there are moments
and there are seasons when you have a newborn on it.
Okay, you're not necessarily taking care of that much, but I
mean, you still have to, you still have to get sleep, you
have to get food and water. You can.
I would just go days without really, you know, taking a break
ever. And and when I finally ended up
taking a break in 2018 and when I started meditating, I went on
(27:04):
a retreat. I went on a yoga retreat.
I realized I hadn't left my kid and she was 5.
I had not left for one day with a 5 year old And I and I was
like, no wonder I'm burned out. So I definitely burned out again
in motherhood by over overdoing it and over giving and over.
And that's when I developed autoimmune disease And I was
(27:25):
like, OK, it's something has to shift, something has to change
because I can't keep pouring from an empty cup and living in
OverDrive. Absolutely.
One thing, yeah. You know it's not good for my
kid. What was that?
Oh, it's just not good for me. It's not good for.
My kid, absolutely. No way.
Yeah, 100%. And one thing I want to go into
because, you know, we talked about like how it's so subtle,
you don't even realize you're burning out until you do hit
(27:47):
those walls and those big healththings.
In hindsight, looking back, whatwere some of the signs that you
might have missed during the journey that now you see, oh,
that was a sign of burnout we saw in the middle of it.
There are three classic hallmarks that make up the
definition, the pillars of burnout.
And this was, you know, based onresearch and the queening of the
(28:09):
term in the 1970s by Doctor Herbert Freudenberger and
Christina Doctor Christina Maslow.
So number one is exhaustion. And so I think it's often very
hard for us to separate what is sort of normal exhaustion and
what is burnout exhaustion. And now you know, obviously when
you're working in medicine and you're doing night shifts and
(28:29):
you're you're doing overnight, you're working for 30, it's
changed when I was in medicine, we would still do like 36 hour
shifts and it's they're no wonder you're exhausted.
So you just sort of rationalize it and you justify it.
But and same with motherhood. If you're up all night with a
newborn for months and months and months and months, you're
going to be exhausted. But this is sort of different.
(28:52):
It's like a bone tiredness, an inability to get out of bed and
rest doesn't necessarily help. So it's not something that,
well, if I just take a break this weekend or get a better
night's sleep or oh, I'm going to go on vacation and I'm going
to help. And so I think I would take
these vacations to try to restore and recharge and kind of
(29:14):
escape from my life. And I would be so exhausted when
I was coming back. And I would, I would really
dread coming back. Like I didn't feel refreshed.
I wasn't ready. I was like, I'm not ready.
I can't, I can't go back. I can't do it again.
So I think that profound exhaustion is #1 #2 is a tricky
one that I think a lot of us ignore.
And it's hard to wrap your mind around it sometimes.
(29:36):
And that is cynicism as it relates to your job or to your
caregiving. And you can develop something
called compassion fatigue, whereyou're actually no longer able
to feel compassion about the people you're supposed to be
taking care of. And it's mostly healthcare
workers that this happens to you, but also, you know, people
(29:58):
in other professions like army or police or certainly teachers,
A lot of people fall prey to this.
And so I should have noticed that I didn't.
I was very cynical about everything.
And you start to lose hope and lose trust in the organizations
that you work with. Maybe your values no longer feel
(30:19):
aligned. And you also kind of self
isolate because your peers, maybe you don't feel that
they're on the same page. And I sort of looked around and
I thought, everyone else seems to really be enjoying this.
How how are they enjoying this? Like this is literally, it feels
like torture in some ways. And but I just kept justifying
(30:41):
and ignoring and moving on. And then lastly is decreased
productivity and decreased concentration, inability to
focus you. You're maybe you're getting your
work done, but you're kind of phoning it in.
And it's, it's sort of the quietquitting phenomenon that we see
a lot nowadays. And yeah, I was still doing my
work, but I was really dragging my feet and just didn't feel
(31:04):
like I could concentrate or focus and had no desire to.
And then you feel a lot of shame, a lot of guilt around
that. That's what you don't tell
anyone and try to go through themotions, but it's like going
through quicksand every day. And so all this, all the warning
signs were there. And the physical things too,
like really terrible sleep, lotsof nightmares, lots of heart
(31:26):
palpitations all the time and lots of holding your breath, not
actually breathing deeply. I mean, all the signs were
there. Yeah.
And then and then seeking comfort in things that are not
necessarily good for you. So spending too much time on
social media, binging Netflix for days and days on end.
(31:47):
You know, in those days, we didn't have that but.
Or substances, you know, alcohol, drugs.
Those are those are really big warning signs.
Thank you so much for sharing those.
That's so helpful for anyone who's like, maybe in the thick
of it, like, OK, yeah, I feel that.
I feel that like it's so relatable.
I mean, I'm there's plenty of moments in my life.
(32:09):
I was like, oh, I was definitelythere.
Yeah. And I feel like if you, if you
get to the point where you're even suspecting that you might
be burned out. Yeah, burned out.
Arm, yeah, and. Don't ignore that check engine
light. Yeah.
Oh, totally. Engine light comes on.
Pay attention. Pay attention to your body.
(32:30):
It's sending you signals it willtake over.
Like if you do not rest, your body will force you to rest at
some point. Exactly, I always equate to that
toddler like mommy mommy and you've ignore it long enough it
starts screaming and it will scream at you eventually.
Or, or you turn around and it's quiet, but the walls have been
painted. Yeah.
(32:50):
Yes, right. Exactly.
Yes, something will happen. It's it's all.
Something will happen, somethingwill give, yeah.
Yeah, for that person who's listening, they're like, Yep, I
am burned out. I know I need a change.
But maybe they're like I, you know, financially I, I can't
make a change. They're selling themselves.
I can't make a change financially or time wise or I
don't have, you know, there's all these real life reasons why
(33:12):
they feel like they are just literally trapped in this space.
What's the step they can take? So yeah, that's a great
question. And I think for a lot of us, we
do get caught up in this spiral of I can't, I can't.
There's I cannot change my life.There's nothing I can do
differently. I mean, I said to myself, I
can't. I mean, I can't, I can't leave
(33:33):
menace. I can't.
There's no, there's no way. Now, I am not suggesting that
what I did is necessarily the way everyone should go.
You don't necessarily have to like toss a grenade into your
life or jump off a Cliff. But what I do talk about is my
mantra that I teach everyone that is so simple and so direct.
It's not necessarily easy to achieve, but it is do one thing
(33:58):
less and you know, do one thing less.
It's very basic, but it can be very powerful.
We are always trying to cram in more into our lives, whether
that's running around and doing a million things, whether it's
squeezing in one more patient orone more meeting or one more
school activity for the kids. It's like more, more, more.
(34:20):
And that in and of itself can contribute to burnout.
And if we are able to just startremoving things from our plate
one at a time, then perhaps thatwill give us a little bit more
breathing room. Time to re evaluate, time to say
like, hey, is my is it really myjob or is it other things?
If it's my job, can I change roles?
(34:44):
Can I change responsibilities? Can I speak to HR?
Can I speak to my supervisor? Can I find out what resources
are available through my workplace?
Because sometimes there are and we just don't know about them.
Can I switch departments or do Ineed to change jobs altogether?
Do I need to change companies? Maybe my job and my career is
(35:05):
actually a good fit. But this particular company, I
don't like the way they do things and I don't agree with
their values, but I still want to be, you know, an engineer or
something. So you just need to give
yourself that breathing room to figure things out.
Maybe possibly see a counselor, see a career counselor, work
with a coach, work with somebodywho can help put the pieces
(35:26):
together. And, but just give yourself that
space. So I, I say like, you know, it's
like you're running around and doing errands and can you cross
one off your list? Do you really need to do this
all, all of those? Do you need to be in all of
those meetings back-to-back everyday?
Can you cross a meeting off, youknow, delete, delay, delegate
(35:46):
and it really works. And people say, oh, but you're
going to be doing less, so you're going to be less
productive and it's going to be,it's not going to be good.
Well, the analogy that I often use is like, let's say you're
clearing the table after a big dinner party and you've got all
these plates and things and piled up.
And then you notice there's One Cup that's still left on the
table and you know, what do you need to do?
(36:08):
You're going to try to go back and get that cup and put it on
right. I know what's going to happen.
All the dishes are going to crash to the floor.
And then you're going to be spending all of this extra time
sweeping up broken glass, cleaning the floor, ordering new
dishes. I mean, it's, it's going to
create so much more work. But if you had just left it on
the table, if you had gone to the sink and then gone back,
(36:30):
made a little short second trip,just it would have saved you so
much. And I think that's sort of the
principle and the concept. It's about prioritizing being
intentional, what is really important and critical, what
matters and what's really contributing to outcomes or
efficacy or success, and what isjust extra work that we're
(36:53):
piling on ourselves. Yeah, it's a really great tip
and just so useful because it's it's so actionable.
It's just that one thing. It doesn't feel like you have
to, yeah, overhaul your whole life.
It's just. Doable.
It's doable if you start there and you see what that feels
like. Oh, yeah, this feels good.
I'm gonna do tomorrow. I'm gonna do two things less,
you know, just find that balance.
(37:14):
Figure out what that tipping point is.
Where you are doing the things you need to do and what needs to
get done, but you are still prioritizing your physical and
mental health and allowing yourself that space to believe
and to exist as a human being, not a human doing.
Exactly. Yeah, which because it's such a
(37:35):
trap so many of us get into. He's getting into this busyness.
And then it's like January becomes June, and then it
becomes the next year and the next year and you look back and
you're like, where have I been? I haven't even lived.
It's it's right. And, and people say, oh, how are
you? Oh, busy.
Like I'm really, really busy. Right.
Like it's an honor. Like, it's a badge of honor.
And, you know, we're just, oh, it's like hustle and busy and
(37:55):
yeah, so busy. And so I stopped saying that.
I'm like, yeah, things are good.You know, we're getting through
it. I mean, well, nowadays I don't
say things are good. I say, oh, I'm getting through.
Yeah. Each day, yeah.
It's so important to have that authenticity, yeah, like we're
all going to have. To like put limits on my
calendar. I can't do back-to-back to back,
(38:15):
you know, patience or interviewsall day long.
It's it's too much. You need a little bit of a
break. Yeah, absolutely.
Well, now we go into like, well,deeper because I know you talked
about a lot of these patterns were like stemmed from your
childhood. And how did you navigate like
understanding your belief systemand then rewriting some of those
beliefs that you have? Oh boy, how much time do we
have? That's a question.
(38:38):
So I, I of course, did a lot of therapy and a lot of talk
therapy as well as somatic resourcing and trauma therapy.
And so I highly, highly recommend if folks are dealing
with complex trauma or PTSD, please seek out a trauma
therapist as a regular therapist.
(38:58):
It's not enough. And then I also engaged in a
technique that was I had never heard of.
I didn't know whether it was going to work or it wasn't.
I was very skeptical. It was called neurofeedback.
And it was a really interesting technology where they place
electrodes on your brain. It's non invasive on your on
your scalp, not on your brain. And you listen to this bizarre
(39:22):
music and it's and they monitor your brain waves kind of like an
like a minimal form of an EEG. And they look for patterns in
your brain waves that indicate, you know, stress or anxiety or,
you know, dysfunctional patterns.
And they interrupt those patterns by playing this music
and, and, and putting these subliminal audio clicks that
(39:44):
interrupt the flow of, of the brain waves.
And I, as a neurologist, I was like, come on, this is for real.
And I absolutely swear by this technique and I loved it and it
helped me so much. It helped me with the
flashbacks, with panic, with overall just nervous system
(40:04):
elevation and trauma. And so I highly recommend
neurofeedback for folks. And then of course, meditation.
Yeah, amazing. I love that.
I always let you know this. You never know what tool's going
to click with you. So I appreciate you sharing a
lot of different examples and it's like being open to.
Yeah, open to new technology andthere's EMDR is another good
one. I didn't do that one and there's
(40:26):
some great books out there. I mean, obviously the the one
that's most well known, that is phenomenal is The Body Keeps the
Score that's written by a psychiatrist, Doctor Bessel
Vanderkolk. It's amazing, amazing book that
talks all about trauma. What My Bones Know by Stephanie
Fu. So that's a memoir about trauma
(40:47):
that is very hard to read. She talks about her childhood
abuse and but it is so well doneand so well written and she
offers so many insights. And then she talks about her
healing journey in the second-half of the book and how
she overcame all of this, and it's very inspiring.
So I highly recommend that one. And then lastly, someone that I
(41:07):
interviewed on my podcast recently, Brittany Piper, Body
First Healing. And that is an incredible book
that talks about all the somaticwork that we can do to heal
trauma. Doesn't necessarily have to
involve the cognitive talk therapy or the reliving and
retelling that a lot of trauma and memory things are stored in
(41:31):
the physical, in the body, and we can do things to release
that, to retrain our nervous system and to heal without
necessarily reactivating and reopening the trauma by
retelling it over and over. So it's really fascinating and
her story is incredible too. So I highly recommend some of
those resources. Yeah, thank you so much for
sharing. It's so powerful.
(41:53):
The body, it literally is like our greatest advocate.
And a lot of times when we have any kind of health issue and we,
you know, look down on our body and think it's our enemy.
But really, it's really trying to advocate for us and help us
and really understand what's going on below the surface.
So it's always sending you a message.
It's sending you an SOS. I was like, why are things
breaking? Why is it?
(42:13):
Why is my body betraying me? But it was loudly screaming like
you need to stop, you need to slow down.
Yeah, this is not sustainable. Yeah, it's so powerful when we
start listening to it and recognizing those signs before
hopefully we get, you know, before we get to something where
it is catastrophic and you have no other choice.
(42:35):
So it's it's so powerful. And I hope that this plants the
seed to anyone who's maybe experiencing some of the signs
and symptoms that you shared to really understand maybe what's
going on below the surface and take some action to.
Change. Well, yeah, I mean, there there
are legitimate physiologic concerns that may need to be
addressed. I mean, yes, a lot of burnout is
psychological and emotional, butthere can be physiological
(42:58):
components. There can be thyroid disease,
there can be adrenal dysfunction, there can be
anemia. There can be all kinds of
contributors to fatigue. You know, mitochondrial
dysfunction could have an imbalance in hormones.
You know, so there's so many factors that play into it, which
is why I kind of love to merge functional medicine with all of
(43:19):
my burnout work and try to figure out, you know, what is
physical, what is mental, how dothey intersect and what can we
do to interrupt or rebalance, you know, patterns.
It's microbiome is a huge factorin a component of we're learning
mental health. So when things are out of
balance, when things are off, when things are not optimal from
(43:42):
a functional medicine perspective, you can actually
address those things. And that is, it's a, it's a,
it's a feed forward or it's a, you know, what vicious circle of
what is contributing to what, what is physical, what is mental
and how do they feed each other and intersect.
And so by interrupting some of those patterns and loops and
dynamics, we can have impact on on all things.
(44:06):
Yeah. And I think it's so crucial when
you have the integration of the mind and the body, you can't
separate the two. It's not there's not one part
that you can address and leave out the other.
Everything's interconnected. So absolutely essential to
understand the whole picture andhave that holistic approach to
it. I mean, it's as simple as by
doing breathing techniques, by doing meditation, I mean, I can
(44:26):
literally watch my heart rate go, Yeah.
And blood pressure, like everything just go way down.
And if you can do that in a few seconds, you can imagine the
impact of the mind body connection on your overall
health and well-being. Yeah, absolutely.
And for somebody who want to connect with you, dive into a
deeper How can they find you? Sure, absolutely.
(44:48):
Yeah. You can head over to my website,
which is www.drzarya. That's DRZARY a.com.
Please come hang out with me on Instagram.
I that's where I spend most of my time.
And on there you can check out the podcast.
You can check out my freebie. So yes, it's at Doctor Zari
Aruben on Instagram. And yes, I do have a brand new
(45:10):
podcast. It's called Outsmart burnout.
And definitely come take a listen cause I've interviewed a
lot of the folks that I've mentioned and had some amazing
conversations about ways that women can learn to develop
resilience and put these tools and toolkits in our toolbox and
really outsmart burnout before it takes hold.
(45:34):
Yeah, absolutely. I'll put everything in the show
notes. So if you're listening,
definitely connected. Doctor Azaria and I appreciate
everything you shared today. There are so many things that I
know will deeply resonate was about someone who is in the
thick of it right now and reallyunderstand that there's another
way that they can live their life to the fullest.
Please do not suffer in silence.Please tell somebody.
Please reach out, talk to a friend, talk to someone at work,
(45:57):
reach out to me there. Help us out there.
And you shouldn't have to go through it alone.
Yeah, and then hopefully after this conversation, you realize
you're not alone. There's so many of us.
There's so many of us. Yeah.
So it just may look different, but it's it's the same.
I will also be launching a women's community, a a small
membership community for workingtogether on burnout and
(46:21):
functional medicine aspects of burnout, and that's going to be
launching the fall. And so that's a place where we
could come together and have some community and realize that,
yeah, you're not alone. And we're all going through this
together. We'll, we'll work on stuff
together, we'll troubleshoot, we'll have educational sessions
and Q&A. And so that's another fun way
for folks to to get involved. Amazing.
(46:43):
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you so much. And again, for anyone who's
listening, there's something that stuck out to you share this
episode so that this can be spread to even more people.
So thank you so much again, and I really appreciate everything
you shared today. Thank you, Kelly.
Absolutely. Thank you so much for tuning
into this episode. If there was something in this
episode that really resonated with you or a message that stuck
(47:05):
with you, please share it with someone else.
It's only through sharing these messages that we can start to
rewire our minds to feel empowered and live the life that
we truly desire. Please subscribe so you never
miss an episode. And again, thank you so much for
tuning in to Rewiring Health.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!