March 18, 2024 • 39 mins
🎙️✨ Exciting News! 🌟 Join us on the Rich Relationships podcast and YouTube show hosted by authors and marriage coaches Gil & Renee as we explore what it means to be a RICH husband and wife. 💑💖 Discover the four most valuable qualities – that are essential for building strong fulfilling and God honoring marriages. From practical tips to inspiring stories, we'll help you enrich your relationship and deepen your connection with your partner. Tune in now for insightful discussions and actionable advice! #RichRelationships #MarriageGoals #Podcast #YouTube #RelationshipAdvice 💕📺
YouTube Show Description:
Welcome to the Rich Relationships Refuge YouTube channel, where authors and marriage coaches Gil & Renee bring you insightful discussions and practical advice to help you create thriving marriages. Join us on our show, "Are You a RICH Husband & Wife?" as we explore the four most valuable qualities essential for building strong and God honoring fulfilling marriages.
From bouncing back from challenges to practicing kindness and understanding, we'll share actionable strategies and inspiring stories to empower you on your journey towards a deeper, more fulfilling connection with your spouse.
Whether you're looking for tips to strengthen your communication, navigate conflict, or reignite the passion in your marriage, our show is your guide to building the love and partnership you've always dreamed of.
Subscribe to the Rich Relationships Refuge YouTube channel and join us as we explore what it takes to become RICH husbands and wives together!
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Have you ever uncovered the true treasures hidden within the heart of your marriage? Gil and Renee invite you to a profound exploration of love beyond the material, revealing the riches that resilience, integrity, and spiritual depth can bring to your relationship. In our latest podcast episode, we share intimate stories and wisdom that shine a light on the power of selflessness, the cornerstone of an enduring marital bond. We believe that being 'rich' in your partnership encompasses much more than the contents of your bank account—it's about the wealth of character, the currency of compassion, and the investment in unwavering trust.
In a world where the vows of marriage are often tested, our conversation navigates the intricacies of maintaining your integrity and the art of bouncing back from the challenges life throws at you. We dissect the essential traits that fortify a relationship: flexibility, forgiveness, and seeing the best in each other. Join us
RICH RELATIONSHIPS REFUGE
Meet: Gil & Renée
Rich Relationships Refuge podcast with Gilbert J and Renée M. Beavers is fantastic because it's the best place to explore the reality of relationships — the good, the bad, and the painful and confusing. This podcast helps to illuminate what it means to be intimate with others and what it teaches people about them. It will make you want to strive for a kinder, more fun relationship with others., This a place where love flourishes, bonds deepen, and relationships thrive. We're Gil and Renee, authors, and marriage coaches, and we're honored to walk alongside you on your journey towards a rich and fulfilling partnership.
In a world where relationships can feel like a maze, we believe in providing you with the compass and map to navigate the path of love with confidence and grace. Whether you're single and seeking, newly dating, or preparing for marriage, our app is your sanctuary—a refuge where you can find guidance, support, and inspiration every step of the way.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Rich Relationship Podcast with Gil.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And Renee, where amazing things happen.
Our goal is to help build,prepare and restore healthy
relationships.
Hey y'all, hey, it's Renee.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And Gil from the Rich Relationship Refuse.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
And we are excited to be with you guys.
Today is Saturday.
We missed you guys.
Last week we were in Waco.
I hope you guys saw the video.
If you didn't see it, please goand check it out.
We didn't kiss.
Kiss me, kiss me.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
You know, it's always important.
We did the Waco trip because itwas something that Renee really
really wanted to do, andCaroline and Caroline, and
sometimes that kind of leadsinto what we are going to be
talking about tonight, becausesometimes you're going to have
to do some stuff that you reallymay not want to do If it's not
(00:59):
your thing, but that's okay,that's what I'm part of what
we're doing Exactly Becauseyou're going to be, because
you're going to actually bedoing a lot of things that
sometimes you may not say it'sthe fun thing that you want to
do, but it doesn't matter,because it's a relationship that
you're in with your significantother, so you're going to be
required to do things that maynot always be what you want to
(01:21):
do.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
And so tonight's episode is are you a rich
husband?
Now, how many?
And a rich wife.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And if you, if you look and you seen the thumbnail
that Renee created, did thatmake you go thinking there's
going to be something aboutfinancial and how to get rich?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Hey, thanks for joining us, please put it in the
chat.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Hey, how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Thanks, for joining.
Hey, we missed Robin.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
If it's, I'm sorry to disappoint, but it's not about
money.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
But it's better than money.
Yeah, absolutely, and if youstay to the end, you'll know
what all of them are, won't you?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
talk a little bit about you know anybody who's
watched us for any amount oftime or other videos we love.
We love abbreviations for stuffyou know if you watched.
And now, if you're not justwatching or listening on our
podcast you know, it's actuallyfunny because when I came in,
you ever had your significantother actually wake you up and
(02:12):
want to have a conversationwhile you sleep.
Sometimes it's like, wait what?
Try to have a conversation whenyou've been woken up out of a
deep sleep.
And it gets deep and I'm likewhat are you talking about, babe
?
Yeah, and she kept saying rich,rich, rich.
And she's like I got it, it'srich.
(02:33):
And I'm like okay, I say what?
Did a check come?
Or something like that.
No, but I'll let her share withyou why she came up with rich.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
As our acronym, you know, we're rich relationship
refuge, and I've had people thatasked us before what is the
rich thing?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Where did it come from?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
And where did it come from?
And the acronym that the Lordgave me was it's always been
about spiritual wealth, notnecessarily just financial
wealth, but also relationalwealth, because most of us want
to be quote unquote rich, but wedon't think about the cost that
comes along with that.
(03:12):
And so, when we had our, weinterviewed our friends.
It's our rich friends, and it'snot just about money, it's
about we're going to talk aboutthem one at a time, and I'm
going to talk about the firstone, and because I think the
first one probably is probablyone of my superpowers is and I
(03:32):
always say, she who is flexibleis not easily broken, and I can
say that as a result of the wayI grew up, as far as growing up
at home, where my parents wereaddicts and they were kind of
self absorbed, I had to learnhow to be rich with the first R
is, which is the first letter,which is resilient, and I think
(03:53):
that resiliency is so overlooked, especially in this generation.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
And this is really talking about in the context of
your relationship.
Yes, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yes, these are the things you want to look for to
be rich in a relationship, forit to be rich and for you to be
rich, because there's nothinglike having a lot of money but
having no peace and having nopurpose and having no intimacy
all the things that really makea relationship rich, because a
lot of people are married andthey don't even have money.
But there's things that God hastaught us and shown us, and
(04:25):
even after interviewing inCarolina and Everett, it's just
amazing how many similaritiesthat couples who have had long
success have in common.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I think that's a part of the resilient thing of being
, when you're partnered in withother people, even outside of
your marriage, but that you arepart of women, friendships and
things like that yes circle,yeah in your circle, in your
community, that it's importantthat that resilience comes,
because there are going to betimes when it could be a
financial challenge, it could bea health challenge, it could be
(04:56):
even a conflict that somebodyit could be being a military
wife.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
That's one of the things that one of our friends
was talking about.
You guys need to speak moreabout that because it is, and to
all of our military wives outthere, our hat goes off to you,
we commend you, we applaud you,we congratulate you.
You definitely have the first R, which is resilience, because
you're kind of forced to, and sowe're talking about the ability
to fall down and get up, tohave a disagreement and to
(05:20):
forgive each other, the abilityto see the best in the other
person.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Right and like I was talking a little bit about,
because when those things happenin your life as it pertains to
your relationship, you have afinancial issue, a conflict or
some health issues that may comeacross in your relationship,
that's where the real challengesare going to come.
That's when you're going toreally know who's in it for the
long call, as they may say,because you have to think about
(05:47):
it.
You get to partner in withsomeone who's going to be in it
with you through thick and thin.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Good advice, for better, for worse, in sickness
and in health.
Those vows are really for realand I think sometimes we say the
vows but we don't realize thatour actions have to run up with
that.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Because we think about when you walk down an
aisle.
If you didn't go down an aisle,we did like Justice and Peace.
So when you do say you're vowsand everybody's hearing those
things, you're making a mandateor you're making an edict about
how a public declaration, apublic statement of how
resilient you're going to bewith each other.
So when you say those vows,you're going to be expected to
(06:26):
keep them.
So if you're watching this andyou've already been together for
a while, you kind of know whatwe're talking about.
But if you're in that stagewhere you're being challenged
right now in this season, thisis something that maybe it's
timely because you're practicingabout being rich.
You're becoming richer byinvesting in being resilient.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
That's really beautiful, yeah, and if you're
engaged and you don't know,trust me yeah.
Please take these things intoconsideration, because we want
to create an environment wherepeople really are making a
well-informed decision.
Yeah, because what I love aboutGod is he gives you the
information upfront.
He doesn't let you not knowwhat you're getting into, right,
he shows you.
And so that's why we're here.
(07:09):
One of the reasons why we golive every week is because we
want to create a place, a safeplace, a refuge for people who
are married or on the pursuit ofmarriage, to really begin to
kind of learn.
Well, what does this look like?
What do I need to be different?
Right, what?
You smelling?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
that Somebody's saying that hey, no, I was
looking at Ray Alley right here.
Hey, how you doing.
Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Thanks for hanging out with us.
Thanks for joining us.
We're so glad you're here.
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
So the number two one we're going to talk about is
integrity.
A lot of people that's the R inrich our eye.
So the eye is talking aboutintegrity, because everybody has
the statements, thesedefinition about when nobody's
watching and nobody was looking,and all those things.
But when it's just, I would saythat when doing what's right,
(07:54):
when nobody's around, are youthat person that is reliable and
trustworthy and respect and allthose things that come into it.
And I think about it in thecontext of our relationship.
I think about it from theintegrity of trust and respect.
That's so important to me whenit comes to our relationship as
long as we've been together,because if you don't have that,
(08:18):
that trust and respect, or it'snot being built upon from the
day one when we first starteddating all the way up to our
present day, it's constantlybeing renewed, it's constantly
being refreshed.
It can be challenging if you'rein that, if you haven't built
trust and if you haven't builtrespect for each other and it's
not just.
You hear guys talk about it alot from the respect thing but
(08:38):
it's a two-way street.
It's something that is very,very important to both sides of
the relationship.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
And the thing that I love about integrity, because we
always think about it sexuallymen being sexually pure, but
integrity is also women notbuying stuff and keeping it in
your car.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
That never happens, right?
Nobody does that.
Nobody does that.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So there's so much more to integrity than just
sexual, the sexual part of itAbout keeping your commitment
there.
I love you know you has.
A thing is called bounce.
You know I make sure I don'tgive men eye contact.
So there's things you have todo to position yourself to be
the kind of person that in everysetting people tells the same
story about you.
(09:20):
That is another definition.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
It can be challenging , and what Renee was talking
about when it comes to bounce.
I said this the other day wewere just I don't know about.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Don't go, ask no questions to get us in trouble.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Well, how can I put this?
Guys?
I'm only talking to guys.
So, ladies, y'all can justignore what I'm talking about
right now.
But for the guys, everybody'swearing tight clothes,
everybody's wearing tight andeverybody's showing off
everything.
You know, while when thathappened so even when we were
younger, that's even when wewere younger that was
(09:53):
challenging, especially even ifyou're in a great relationship.
You know that can bechallenging in the sense of
she's showing you everything,and so that was challenging my
integrity.
To stay faithful, not faithfulbecause I was going to cheat on
Renee, but just because I thinkwhen you, the Bible, talks about
looking at a woman with lust inyour eyes, that's just the same
(10:14):
to me, in my eyes.
So what I talk about is and Iheard a teaching about it as
bounce what that means is, ifyou see something that is just
keeping your attention just alittle too long, you know what?
Bounce your eyes away.
Yeah, look up, look around,look away from whatever has your
attention.
That's going to help youmaintain your integrity, because
(10:37):
you have to be true to thecommitments that you make, not
especially to your significantother or your spouse and to the
Lord.
Absolutely, because, then,that's the first and foremost
one that is so important.
So why don't you talk a littlebit about it?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
And so for me, and so what I do is one of the things
I realize I have a very friendlypersonality and I had it taken
the wrong way by a male man andhe was like, oh, that's because
you just want me.
I was like, um, want you?
No, I don't want you, I'm justfriendly.
And then I realized that myfriendliness can be taken as
(11:11):
flirtatious.
So now when I'm out, I don'tgive guys eye contact.
If I don't know you, I won'teven.
I mean even just speaking.
It's like you have to really becareful, and so I think a part
of it is now, at my age, myposture is don't come up here,
so I don't get that anymore.
But when I was younger I wassending the wrong signal.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
So even our integrity in the way we maintain our
posture as wives and as wives tobe, has to be something you
have to stop practicing, andthere's nothing wrong with being
friendly and engaging and allthose things, but I think you
have to be giving off a signalthat make people think that
you're interested in such a waythat is going beyond you being
polite, you being engaging, youbeing personal.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
But if it can be, the Bible says it.
Stay away from the appearanceof it, it could be
misinterpreted as inappropriateand you have to be mindful of
that.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
You know, it reminds me of one thing that we've
learned, and we established someboundaries in our relationship
very early, especially as itpertains to being and sometimes
you're gonna find yourself in asituation where it may be the
opposite sex that you would say.
You give somebody a ride, as anexample, in order to help you
maintain that integrity.
You know, if it's inevitable orif you just can't avoid it.
(12:26):
There are gonna be situationslike that, Like I had a coworker
once who had a flat tire andshe need to go drop her car off
and I was the only one availableat the time, you know, for her
to drop her car off and pick herup and bring her back to work.
So I could have said, oh nope,mm-mm, I don't, we're not gonna
be alone, that kind of thing.
But you know, what I did was Icalled Renee and said, hey, this
(12:47):
is what's going on, and Reneeknows the person.
So I told her what was going on.
This is the situation, but wehave already set up that
boundary that we said We'vealready set up.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I already know your character.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, even before it came about that we don't ride in
cars alone with the oppositesex.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
And I know, to the new generation that sounds like
oh, that's just doing the most.
And it's just extra.
But we have been together sincewe were 18 years old and I have
never wondered about what he'sdoing, and so a part of it if
you give me a reason to nottrust you, then you have to
accept responsibility.
So some of these things we'retalking about they may seem old
(13:24):
and primitive, but we have beenmarried, happily married, for 35
years, so I think we know justa little bit At least what works
for us and that's why thereasons why we do these Friday
or Saturday night lives justcoming along, live.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
We got the teachings and the videos and stuff like
that that are out there.
But this is the time just toget with the community and
people who have seen and watchedand all that kind of stuff,
just to engage, to talk aboutsome things and to make
investments, cause sometimes youneed some things to do on these
Saturday nights if you're notout running the streets.
Nobody does that.
Hey, ms Iris.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Hey, thanks for joining us.
So if you guys have questions,just put them in the chat.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
If you got a comment, put it in the chat, cause we
can see it.
Renee ain't got her glasses on,but I can see it.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I can see that there's words on it.
I can't read what they are.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
She can't read the words, but she knows that
they're actually there.
So talk about compassion.
Compassion is to see when wetalk about being rich, are you a
rich?
Husband and rich wife.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
So resilient integrity, compassion.
Well, Gil is a much morecompassionate person than I am,
and I love and appreciate him.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
It can be built on.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
y'all go back on here and I have learned, and I am
learning to be morecompassionate, and we had a
situation recently whereactually it was the other night.
We were preparing for Merge andthe message was about-.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Biblical roles.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Biblical roles in marriage.
Merge and to me, whenever youdecide you're going to do
something for God, he is goingto go all in your panty drawer,
your sock drawer, underneathyour couch, underneath your
refrigerator.
And I had something I had beenstruggling with and Gil was like
baby.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yes, she woke me up again.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Yes, I did.
She's a night owl.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Renee's a night owl.
I am not a night owl.
No, Gil, go to bed at 10o'clock but I probably asleep
for four, three, four hours andI'll be up but still.
But go ahead, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
And so I was talking to Gil about a situation that I
am in and he said you have totake into consideration where
that person has come from andnot where they are.
And as soon as he sees, and youneed to ask yourself what
you're really upset about,because it's really not about
(15:45):
what you're focusing on.
And so a lot of times, when wefind ourselves all ruffled up
with stuff going on, compassionis like it's like a, it is like
peroxide, it just goes in andcleans stuff up.
It cleans stuff up and it showsyou you.
And so I think that compassionis so important in, especially
(16:05):
in a marriage relationship,because we're gonna fail each
other, we're gonna disappointeach other, we're gonna have
good and bad days, and Gil hasbeen watching me in this
situation for months and itdidn't make him hate me or not
like me or not respect me.
It just made him recognize that, baby, you got to work on your
compassion, you got to buildthat compassion muscle and some
(16:27):
of these things we're gonna beworking on for the rest of our
life as long as we're believers.
Some of them are gonna begrowth areas and some of them
are gonna be strength, but it'sjust understanding that
compassion is a very importantelement, a very important facet
of having healthy, richrelationships, and we are
talking about it this morning.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
You know as far as we because we have this kind of
conversation about what we gonnawanna talk about a little bit.
It's free flowing.
But one thing that came outthat we were talking about this
morning was when you havesomeone that let's just say
you're in conflict with somebody, that you got a beef with, or
however you wanna describe it,sometimes you can be focusing on
that person when it's reallythe thing that's in you that is
(17:06):
manifesting the conflict out ofyou.
That person, or to put itanother way, does that person or
that thing push your buttons?
If that button is being pushed,that makes you wanna go, you
still got the button.
Well, it's not the person, it'sthe thing that's already on the
inside of you that is making itmanifest towards that person.
(17:27):
Right, if that makes sense.
Because if you're directing allthat energy towards something
of that person, let me ask youthis if it comes up with another
person that same thing, let'sjust say anger.
I'll just pick something reallyeasy, because we all get upset
and angry about things.
If you find yourself gettingangry about simple things, that
really doesn't warrant beingangry that, oh, I'd like.
(17:50):
Yeah, people say that, just setme off.
Whatever the case may be, if youfind that pattern happening
against other people, thenyou're not exercising that
compassion that we're talkingabout, but we're also talking
about it's railing up and risingup something on the inside of
you that maybe you need to takea little bit closer look at,
because when you think aboutcompassion, the biggest instance
(18:11):
or, for me, the simplest way ofhow does that manifest or look
like in real life is empathy,really just exercising empathy
towards someone, especially yoursignificant other, because I
think this is one of the thingsthat people underestimate so
many times in their relationship, especially when it gets tough
(18:32):
and challenging, becausesometimes you can be scared,
nervous, afraid, vulnerable.
All these other emotions getmanifest and you can find
yourself striking out or lookingoutwardly at this person that
is partnered in with you.
If you're already married,you're significant.
This is the person that God hasput in this relationship that
(18:52):
you chose.
Yeah, you know it's easy to bein a relationship where
everything is going good, butwhen everything is going
challenging or when things getchallenging, what are you like?
Are you that person that isexercising the compassion when
your significant other boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, husband
needs it or wife needs it, orfamily member.
(19:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
So we have resilient integrity, compassion and the
last one which is like Sometimesthis go ahead, you can start If
you could only have one ofthese, and the thing is, at some
stage of our life we're gonnahave one of these, or two of
these, or three, these or four,but the goal is to work on
(19:34):
cultivating all of them at thesame time, and that is the human
challenge.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
You know, I think about when we first got married,
when people said anybody evertold you just work on your
marriage, just work on it.
That can come out and mean somany different things.
This is the kind of things thatwe're talking about.
This is actually working onyour marriage and your
relationship.
These are some tangible,applicable things that you can
(20:01):
actually be doing.
If you find that, hey, myresilience is a little low or my
integrity is being challenged,or even my compassion is a
little low right now, then guesswhat?
These are the things that youcan be working on, because it's
going to build a betterrelationship for the person you
are in relationship with.
While your marriage is yourfirst relationship, this will
(20:24):
work, guess what?
And all the other ones.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
And it allows you to honor God with your life.
So many times we think thatit's speaking in tongues and
paying tithes and going to everysingle service, but really it's
manifesting the fruits of thespirit, not so much just the
gifts, because the gifts comewithout repentance, but the
fruits of the spirit beingdeveloped and cultivating your
life.
Is you being intentional andsaying you know what, lord, I'm
(20:50):
going to let you be glorified inmy life.
I am going to do somethingdifferent.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
And I think sometimes and I see your and I think that
, boziki, I think that's yourand I see your comment because,
and sometimes, when you endthose relationships that are
challenging, that's the easy wayto do it, that's the easy way
to say you know what?
I'm out, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
But you know what?
There will be another person,just like the person you left
that you are.
We're going to have to learnhow to navigate relationships
with difficult people and if youhave made a vow and you made a
commitment I don't know if youguys listened to our episode
last week with Carolina everyone of the things that we all
did, we didn't do it like wedidn't talk to each other about
(21:30):
it.
We all did separately.
Four different people made thedecision.
We're going to take divorce offthe table and I challenge you
all, as a part of this community, to take the.
Now.
I'm not talking about if youbeing sexually abused.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I'm not talking about that, abuses.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
You never wanted we're talking about kids being
abused.
No, that's, that is ground.
That is.
That's not what we're talkingabout.
We're talking about, undernormal circumstances, normal
things.
Is what he make me mad?
Or he get on my nerve, or sheget on my nerve.
Take divorce off the table,because when you take divorce
off the table, then you're goingto have to do whatever is
necessary to make it work andthat kind of leads us into the
(22:06):
age humility.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Humility, humility is one of those things that most
people will really, really lack.
Everybody's got the ego andeverybody knows the right thing
we full of pride.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
full of pride, we pride it.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
And it happens.
All of us have a level of pride.
You should have a level ofpride about who you are and what
you're doing and trying toaccomplish and those types of
things.
But when-.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I like gratitude better than pride.
Sure, sure.
I think that gratitude is anatural way to alleviate pride
in your life.
And when you recognize thatit's Christ, in you the hope of
glory Sure.
And so, to me, humility.
I just think humility is sopowerful because it's like
Christ.
He said he laid down his life.
(22:50):
What do we lay down?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Especially when it comes to your significant other
year spouse, that humility hasto be exercised on the regular,
because if you don't, you gottwo people who are prideful.
How many times is that or?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
does that?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
end well.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's like gasoline and fire.
It's gonna always be a fight.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
You know, when the tough and the challenging times
actually come up, who's gonna dowhat's right.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
It's right and wrong.
But then you have to thinkabout is it?
Do you want to be right or doyou want to get it right?
Speaker 2 (23:25):
And in a marriage, you never win.
When you win an argument, thegoal should always be to lose
the argument, because thatrequires what Humility, and so
humility, if we so to be rich,we need to be resilient.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Is there yet Operating?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
integrity, operating integrity.
We need to have compassion andwe need to operate and we need
to develop the ability to behumble.
That does not mean you don'thave a voice.
That does not mean you don'thave an opinion.
That does not mean you getwalked over.
That's not what humility is.
We're talking about Godhonoring humility, where you say
Lord, use me, use my life, usemy gifts, use my talents to
(24:02):
bring you glory and honor.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yep, absolutely.
And one thing it's somethingthat happened.
I think it was yesterday I gota text message from you.
Know, if you got people in yourlife that are reaching out to
you, respond to them.
You know everybody's goingthrough something at some given
time and we're all busy and wegot things going on and he posed
a question that was challengingand it made me think.
(24:24):
You know he was basicallysaying he wanted to talk about
what does it like to be a godlyman and to be a good husband?
Now guys ask yourself thatquestion and how would you
answer it?
You know, before I answer itand tell you what I was thinking
about, why don't you put in thechat resilient, integrity,
(24:45):
compassion, humility?
Where are you at?
What are you kind of focused on?
I won't say, because we alwaystalk about strengths.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Growth areas and strengths.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Growth areas.
And strengths and strengths.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
So what is your growth area and what is your
strength?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
What are you good at right now Operating and thumbs
up on it and what is the area.
And if you really don't know oryou're not sure, ask somebody
who's in relationship with you,ask your spouse.
You know right now If youhanging out and watching it with
us right now or as we talkingabout it.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Don't do that cause.
That might cause an argument.
No, no, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
That's humility.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You gotta be willing to hear it.
Put on your humble hat.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
You gotta be willing to hear it, cause this person is
the person that is the closestto you.
I think they probably know itpretty accurately.
What is the area that we shouldbe talking about?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yeah, and you know, when Gil, that night, the other
night, we were talking and Gilwas like babe, you know, my
response was thank you, thankyou, thank you, because you know
what he cause.
Gil used to be the kind ofperson to keep the peace.
He really could have just notsaid anything, but Gil always
tells me when my junk is raggedy, always.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
A little nicer than that he does it.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
He's a lot kinder, a lot more gentler than I am, but
he always tells me, and so weneed to make sure that we have
people in our life that can behonest with us and say, hey,
that's not working Right, hey,that's not gonna work.
So now we're gonna open it upto you guys.
If you guys have questions,things you want to know, or you
wanna finish it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I was gonna say this because, in the way I answered
and we haven't had a chance toreconnect yet we've been missing
each other as far as the phonecall, but we're gonna have the
conversation.
But the and I can give you thesecret to being a godly husband,
godly man, when it comes toyour relationship.
It's only two things that wereally, really gotta do, and we
just talked about this last weekwith our premarital couples.
(26:38):
I love that.
For guys, ours is loving andleading.
Love your wife, as Christ lovedus, and leading them just like
Christ led us.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Those are the two things.
That means you get to tell mewhat to do and I don't handle
the things Absolutely.
You take my shoes, not yourshoes, but I do get to tell you
Am I heart-stealing I?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
do get to tell you what to do, though.
No, I'm just joking.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
No that's not what it means.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
That's not what it means.
No, I'm just loving and leading, because if I'm chasing after
Christ and trying to find outwhat Jesus wants me to do in my
relationship, guess what?
It's gonna be easy for me tolead by example, the things that
I want to manifest in myrelationship and in my wife and
in my family.
Guess where it starts.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, I love you, you , the leader, which is the kind
of leader my husband is.
He is the first to give, he'sthe first to forgive, he's the
first to do everything, but he'sthe last to receive, and so
it's me first and me last, andthat's the thing that I thought
was really beautiful.
That the Lord gave him was toshow that.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
But you know what?
It's not about being a doormat.
It's not about being thinkingabout it in the context that
nothing ever happens to me andall those kinds of things.
That is just my naturalinclination, excuse me.
When it comes back to yourfamily and your wife, that's how
it should be.
Just like Jesus gave it all forus, we should be willing to do
(28:05):
that for the people that he hasplaced in our lives.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
You know especially and that we chose Right.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Why don't you tell them?
As far as the wife.
This is something that waschallenging.
That the two things for thewife.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
And the two things.
And the thing that I thoughtwas beautiful about this is that
we have equal value as husbandsand wives.
Yep, and the thing that theLord showed me was God always
says that, you know, the man issupposed to be like Christ and
love the church.
Like Christ, love the church.
But the thing that the Lordshowed me was that a woman is
supposed to be like the HolySpirit.
We're supposed to help, we'resupposed to be calm and gentle.
(28:39):
The Holy Spirit is not pushy,he's not bossy And-.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He's not contentious.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
He's not contentious.
And so I said Lord, help me tobe like the Holy Spirit in
regards to my approach and mytemperament and my tone and my
volume For helping.
And the other one is to submit.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Ooh, that's a challenge.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I know everybody think that's a cuss word
Submission and from myperspective as a 56 year old
woman is different than it waswhen I was 21.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
How was it when you were 21?
Speaker 2 (29:11):
I ain't submit to you .
I'll submit to you when you doget it together.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
And ladies, if you're watching ladies, why is
submission such a dirty word?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Because we don't understand it.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Why do?
Why do?
Why is that word like set womenoff?
Can you answer that to me?
Please just help me outunderstand.
I always, always said as longas I'm asking for understanding,
I can ask any question.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
So I'm asking y'all the question out there, so
different audience on TikTok,though yeah well, I'll take it,
because we want to know why issubmission so hard?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Submission doesn't mean subservient.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
No, it doesn't mean that you're not as valuable.
It doesn't mean that you don'thave your own voice.
It doesn't mean you don't haveyour own.
What submission means to me?
And the thing the Lord showedme and I was probably in my 30s
when he showed me this wasbecause, like I said, I come
from a female dominant house.
I am the oldest child I have.
I've been on my own since I was18.
So I knew how to take care ofme.
(30:08):
So the idea of somebody elsehaving control over me because I
think we hear submission and wehear control, but really
submission is responsibility.
Just like a leader has aresponsibility, submission is
that I don't if something whenEve ate the apple.
God did not go to Eve, god wentto Adam because God gave the
(30:30):
instruction.
So to me, I see, submission isif this man is willing to take a
bullet for me, he's willing togo the extra mile for me, he's
willing to do everything for me,why would I not want to help
him do that better?
So submission to me is I'myielding to his leadership
because at the end of the day,if something goes wrong, god is
(30:52):
not coming to me, he's coming toyou.
So for me, submission wasliberating.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Right.
It's funny because, as you weresaying and I was thinking about
the leading part A lot of timesI've heard men say this a lot,
just from all the years we'vebeen working with couples we
want the authority but we don'twant the responsibility.
You cannot have the authorityover your family, your household
, even your own life, if you'renot responsible.
(31:19):
You shouldn't even expect it.
But we want that respect thatcomes along with it, but you're
not willing to do what it takesto do and to earn it.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
When we say we want our men to lead until they tell
us no.
So leading means sometimesyou're going to be told no.
Leading means it's not that,gil, he doesn't talk to me, he
doesn't consult me.
That's not what it means.
It means that he consults mebecause both of us have to
submit to God.
As we're both submitting to God, submitting to each other
(31:52):
automatically, oh, absolutely Ilike what you said, Robin.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah, once you get that understanding and God's
plan for your life, submissionbecomes easy and trusting and
loving relationships.
That's awesome.
Yep hard work, hard word, thatyep work, that word.
I like that rate, Ms Valerie.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Thanks, Ms Valerie for your wisdom there about
abuse.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
It has been abused for so long because a word means
only has really one definition.
You know, english language hasmultiple.
But when we talk about asubmission in the context of our
relationship, especially in thecontext of Christ, that's
exactly what we, you know.
You said it's been abused tothe point to where we think
that's our weapon.
We don't ever want to use theword as a weapon to hurt, to
(32:38):
lead to God, to understand.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I would even say if you're using it the way it was
intended to be used, it's goingto grow and it's going to
flourish.
But if you're using it tocontrol and dominate, abuse is
abnormal use, and so many timeswe don't realize.
The Bible says you would knowthem by their fruit.
We have seen so many unhealthymarriages businesses, churches,
(33:01):
families and then they use theexcuse well, that's what the
word say.
No, everything that God does,it produces fruit, and so we
have to stop being so quick tofollow after something that does
not have any fruit as evidence.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yep, absolutely so.
We love doing these men.
Time goes by so fast.
We try to keep it short becausethis is just a time just to
come and hang out with you guys.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
But we want to get in time to ask questions?
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, so if you got something.
Another comment that you wantto just time in there or comment
, or anything that you want totalk about.
That's why we do this.
So just to recap right quick,by having that being that rich
husband, that rich wife, wetalking about being resilient.
We talking about operating withintegrity, being compassionate
with each other and alsoexercising humility that comes
along with it.
Those are four challengingthings.
(33:48):
You go work on those fourthings.
You going to be busy.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Because, especially and the thing that I love is
that these are not things thatwe both have to do it.
It's not just that Gil has todo this or I have to do it, we
both have to.
Because one of the things thatwe really understand is that you
are on before you become a wife, and if you, the better you
work on that individual journey.
(34:12):
When you become a wife, you'llget to focus more on the fun
stuff.
But if you don't take the timeto unpack the pain of your past,
you're going to have to unpackyour pain and his pain, or he's
going to have to unpack yourpain, and that's going to be a
part of it.
But if that's all you're doing,the yes marriage is terrible.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
It can be taxing.
It can be challenging.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
If that's the way you set it up.
That's why premarital is soimportant, because it's going to
help you to understand whereyou need to focus on you.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Absolutely so.
We enjoy hanging out with youand Mr Ray.
Thank you for the comment, youand Ms Valerie.
Thank you all for hanging outwith us.
If you're somebody else, ifyou're there and you give us a
thumbs up, share this withsomebody, because it's being
streamed right now acrossmultiple platforms, so we just
oh, I think we're only onYouTube right now.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Okay yeah, so we'll share it later.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
So if you find that this can be helpful to somebody
that you know, send it to them.
You know we, y'all know werespond.
Renee does an excellent job ofresponding to comments and all
that kind of stuff.
So send them, put them in thecomments, say what you need to
say.
You'll definitely want to dothat.
Hey, what's going on Building.
Hey, blitz, what's going on?
Thank you for hanging out withus, we love you.
(35:22):
See, she here for real, sheright here yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
She ain't in my ear right now.
I love y'all.
I love you, Blitz yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
And it's such a blessing.
Thank you, ms Tommy.
Is that Tommy?
Yeah, thank you, yeah.
Share with your girlfriends.
Please share Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
The more you guys share, the more you guys comment
, the more you guys engage, themore it helps.
Rich Relationship Refugebecause?
Oh and so if you want to be aguest on our show and join our
rich friends, please go to ourwebsite and go under book online
.
There is a space on the websitenow for become our guest and
all you have to do is fill itout.
(36:00):
It gives you the chance toschedule it at the time that
works for you.
You can do it on Saturdays, andI think I made it for Fridays
and Saturdays to interview.
So if you want to be our guest,we would love to be your guest.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
And that's married and single, because we have both
in the community, and thereason why we're starting to do
that more yes, y'all don't hurtall the stuff we talk about all
the kind of times, but they lovehearing from other people too,
and hearing other people's storyand that kind of thing.
Because, hey, what's going on?
Dershaw and Brown?
Hey, Dershaw and Brown.
So to have you guys on just toshare your wisdom and your
(36:34):
experience, because we alwayssaid it on the podcast, because
we are stronger together, thatis the most important things
when it comes to relationships.
We ran across someone that saidy'all still doing that.
Well, I forgot about y'all.
Yeah, we still doing this thing.
We've done this for 18 years.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
We've been doing this as far as YouTube and our
podcast, our podcast is fiveyears old.
It just made five years old andwe have been doing YouTube for
it.
This is going into our secondyear of committing to YouTube,
because we've realized peopleneed to see you, they need to
connect with you, so that's howwe're doing this.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Because y'all know we are here to help.
Anything that we can do to helpyou guys, we'll reach out to
you guys, we'll talk, we cancollab, we can do whatever it
takes to get the message out andto change the narrative about
being in healthy, positivemarriages and relationships.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
So they can see real people, live a real life, have a
real relationship, because thisis not scripted, this is our
real life.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
We just talking.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
We really we really love Jesus and each other and
we're going to do someget-togethers throughout the
year, just we kind of connect.
Like we've already connectedwith Iris and her husband we met
them in person, yeah and so wewant to continue to meet some of
our people and get to connectwith you.
We've built some really greatrelationships through the
internet and I think it dependson just being like-minded, and
(37:55):
so we love you guys.
If you guys have any morequestions, put them in the
comments.
If you would like to be ourguest, go to
richrelationshiprefugecom underbook online and please schedule
to be our guest and we have anew surprise coming.
We'll tell you guys when itcomes.
We've been working on it forlike three weeks.
(38:16):
Oh right, yeah, another way tohelp you guys and to serve you
guys.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Yep.
So we appreciate you guys.
Thanks for the comments, thanksfor hanging out with us.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Thank you.
Give us some hearts, some claps, some love.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
We will see you guys next week.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for your investmentin time.
Remember to subscribe to theshow and hit the notification
icon to be notified when newepisodes are posted on the
podcast platform that you'relistening from.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Or you can always find us on our website at
richrelationshipsuscom, or ourYouTube channel, rich
Relationships with Gil Renee.
If you found this podcasthelpful or you think it could
help someone that you know andcare about, please pass it along
and share it with them.
Welcome to the Rich Relationship Podcast with Gil.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And Renee, where amazing things happen.
Our goal is to help build,prepare and restore healthy
relationships.
Hey y'all, hey, it's Renee.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And Gil from the Rich Relationship Refuse.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
And we are excited to be with you guys.
Today is Saturday.
We missed you guys.
Last week we were in Waco.
I hope you guys saw the video.
If you didn't see it, please goand check it out.
We didn't kiss.
Kiss me, kiss me.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
You know, it's always important.
We did the Waco trip because itwas something that Renee really
really wanted to do, andCaroline and Caroline, and
sometimes that kind of leadsinto what we are going to be
talking about tonight, becausesometimes you're going to have
to do some stuff that you reallymay not want to do If it's not
(00:59):
your thing, but that's okay,that's what I'm part of what
we're doing Exactly Becauseyou're going to be, because
you're going to actually bedoing a lot of things that
sometimes you may not say it'sthe fun thing that you want to
do, but it doesn't matter,because it's a relationship that
you're in with your significantother, so you're going to be
required to do things that maynot always be what you want to
(01:21):
do.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
And so tonight's episode is are you a rich
husband?
Now, how many?
And a rich wife.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And if you, if you look and you seen the thumbnail
that Renee created, did thatmake you go thinking there's
going to be something aboutfinancial and how to get rich?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Hey, thanks for joining us, please put it in the
chat.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Hey, how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Thanks, for joining.
Hey, we missed Robin.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
If it's, I'm sorry to disappoint, but it's not about
money.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
But it's better than money.
Yeah, absolutely, and if youstay to the end, you'll know
what all of them are, won't you?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
talk a little bit about you know anybody who's
watched us for any amount oftime or other videos we love.
We love abbreviations for stuffyou know if you watched.
And now, if you're not justwatching or listening on our
podcast you know, it's actuallyfunny because when I came in,
you ever had your significantother actually wake you up and
(02:12):
want to have a conversationwhile you sleep.
Sometimes it's like, wait what?
Try to have a conversation whenyou've been woken up out of a
deep sleep.
And it gets deep and I'm likewhat are you talking about, babe
?
Yeah, and she kept saying rich,rich, rich.
And she's like I got it, it'srich.
(02:33):
And I'm like okay, I say what?
Did a check come?
Or something like that.
No, but I'll let her share withyou why she came up with rich.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
As our acronym, you know, we're rich relationship
refuge, and I've had people thatasked us before what is the
rich thing?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Where did it come from?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
And where did it come from?
And the acronym that the Lordgave me was it's always been
about spiritual wealth, notnecessarily just financial
wealth, but also relationalwealth, because most of us want
to be quote unquote rich, but wedon't think about the cost that
comes along with that.
(03:12):
And so, when we had our, weinterviewed our friends.
It's our rich friends, and it'snot just about money, it's
about we're going to talk aboutthem one at a time, and I'm
going to talk about the firstone, and because I think the
first one probably is probablyone of my superpowers is and I
(03:32):
always say, she who is flexibleis not easily broken, and I can
say that as a result of the wayI grew up, as far as growing up
at home, where my parents wereaddicts and they were kind of
self absorbed, I had to learnhow to be rich with the first R
is, which is the first letter,which is resilient, and I think
(03:53):
that resiliency is so overlooked, especially in this generation.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
And this is really talking about in the context of
your relationship.
Yes, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yes, these are the things you want to look for to
be rich in a relationship, forit to be rich and for you to be
rich, because there's nothinglike having a lot of money but
having no peace and having nopurpose and having no intimacy
all the things that really makea relationship rich, because a
lot of people are married andthey don't even have money.
But there's things that God hastaught us and shown us, and
(04:25):
even after interviewing inCarolina and Everett, it's just
amazing how many similaritiesthat couples who have had long
success have in common.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I think that's a part of the resilient thing of being
, when you're partnered in withother people, even outside of
your marriage, but that you arepart of women, friendships and
things like that yes circle,yeah in your circle, in your
community, that it's importantthat that resilience comes,
because there are going to betimes when it could be a
financial challenge, it could bea health challenge, it could be
(04:56):
even a conflict that somebodyit could be being a military
wife.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
That's one of the things that one of our friends
was talking about.
You guys need to speak moreabout that because it is, and to
all of our military wives outthere, our hat goes off to you,
we commend you, we applaud you,we congratulate you.
You definitely have the first R, which is resilience, because
you're kind of forced to, and sowe're talking about the ability
to fall down and get up, tohave a disagreement and to
(05:20):
forgive each other, the abilityto see the best in the other
person.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Right and like I was talking a little bit about,
because when those things happenin your life as it pertains to
your relationship, you have afinancial issue, a conflict or
some health issues that may comeacross in your relationship,
that's where the real challengesare going to come.
That's when you're going toreally know who's in it for the
long call, as they may say,because you have to think about
(05:47):
it.
You get to partner in withsomeone who's going to be in it
with you through thick and thin.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Good advice, for better, for worse, in sickness
and in health.
Those vows are really for realand I think sometimes we say the
vows but we don't realize thatour actions have to run up with
that.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Because we think about when you walk down an
aisle.
If you didn't go down an aisle,we did like Justice and Peace.
So when you do say you're vowsand everybody's hearing those
things, you're making a mandateor you're making an edict about
how a public declaration, apublic statement of how
resilient you're going to bewith each other.
So when you say those vows,you're going to be expected to
(06:26):
keep them.
So if you're watching this andyou've already been together for
a while, you kind of know whatwe're talking about.
But if you're in that stagewhere you're being challenged
right now in this season, thisis something that maybe it's
timely because you're practicingabout being rich.
You're becoming richer byinvesting in being resilient.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
That's really beautiful, yeah, and if you're
engaged and you don't know,trust me yeah.
Please take these things intoconsideration, because we want
to create an environment wherepeople really are making a
well-informed decision.
Yeah, because what I love aboutGod is he gives you the
information upfront.
He doesn't let you not knowwhat you're getting into, right,
he shows you.
And so that's why we're here.
(07:09):
One of the reasons why we golive every week is because we
want to create a place, a safeplace, a refuge for people who
are married or on the pursuit ofmarriage, to really begin to
kind of learn.
Well, what does this look like?
What do I need to be different?
Right, what?
You smelling?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
that Somebody's saying that hey, no, I was
looking at Ray Alley right here.
Hey, how you doing.
Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Thanks for hanging out with us.
Thanks for joining us.
We're so glad you're here.
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
So the number two one we're going to talk about is
integrity.
A lot of people that's the R inrich our eye.
So the eye is talking aboutintegrity, because everybody has
the statements, thesedefinition about when nobody's
watching and nobody was looking,and all those things.
But when it's just, I would saythat when doing what's right,
(07:54):
when nobody's around, are youthat person that is reliable and
trustworthy and respect and allthose things that come into it.
And I think about it in thecontext of our relationship.
I think about it from theintegrity of trust and respect.
That's so important to me whenit comes to our relationship as
long as we've been together,because if you don't have that,
(08:18):
that trust and respect, or it'snot being built upon from the
day one when we first starteddating all the way up to our
present day, it's constantlybeing renewed, it's constantly
being refreshed.
It can be challenging if you'rein that, if you haven't built
trust and if you haven't builtrespect for each other and it's
not just.
You hear guys talk about it alot from the respect thing but
(08:38):
it's a two-way street.
It's something that is very,very important to both sides of
the relationship.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
And the thing that I love about integrity, because we
always think about it sexuallymen being sexually pure, but
integrity is also women notbuying stuff and keeping it in
your car.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
That never happens, right?
Nobody does that.
Nobody does that.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So there's so much more to integrity than just
sexual, the sexual part of itAbout keeping your commitment
there.
I love you know you has.
A thing is called bounce.
You know I make sure I don'tgive men eye contact.
So there's things you have todo to position yourself to be
the kind of person that in everysetting people tells the same
story about you.
(09:20):
That is another definition.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
It can be challenging , and what Renee was talking
about when it comes to bounce.
I said this the other day wewere just I don't know about.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Don't go, ask no questions to get us in trouble.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Well, how can I put this?
Guys?
I'm only talking to guys.
So, ladies, y'all can justignore what I'm talking about
right now.
But for the guys, everybody'swearing tight clothes,
everybody's wearing tight andeverybody's showing off
everything.
You know, while when thathappened so even when we were
younger, that's even when wewere younger that was
(09:53):
challenging, especially even ifyou're in a great relationship.
You know that can bechallenging in the sense of
she's showing you everything,and so that was challenging my
integrity.
To stay faithful, not faithfulbecause I was going to cheat on
Renee, but just because I thinkwhen you, the Bible, talks about
looking at a woman with lust inyour eyes, that's just the same
(10:14):
to me, in my eyes.
So what I talk about is and Iheard a teaching about it as
bounce what that means is, ifyou see something that is just
keeping your attention just alittle too long, you know what?
Bounce your eyes away.
Yeah, look up, look around,look away from whatever has your
attention.
That's going to help youmaintain your integrity, because
(10:37):
you have to be true to thecommitments that you make, not
especially to your significantother or your spouse and to the
Lord.
Absolutely, because, then,that's the first and foremost
one that is so important.
So why don't you talk a littlebit about it?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
And so for me, and so what I do is one of the things
I realize I have a very friendlypersonality and I had it taken
the wrong way by a male man andhe was like, oh, that's because
you just want me.
I was like, um, want you?
No, I don't want you, I'm justfriendly.
And then I realized that myfriendliness can be taken as
(11:11):
flirtatious.
So now when I'm out, I don'tgive guys eye contact.
If I don't know you, I won'teven.
I mean even just speaking.
It's like you have to really becareful, and so I think a part
of it is now, at my age, myposture is don't come up here,
so I don't get that anymore.
But when I was younger I wassending the wrong signal.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
So even our integrity in the way we maintain our
posture as wives and as wives tobe, has to be something you
have to stop practicing, andthere's nothing wrong with being
friendly and engaging and allthose things, but I think you
have to be giving off a signalthat make people think that
you're interested in such a waythat is going beyond you being
polite, you being engaging, youbeing personal.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
But if it can be, the Bible says it.
Stay away from the appearanceof it, it could be
misinterpreted as inappropriateand you have to be mindful of
that.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
You know, it reminds me of one thing that we've
learned, and we established someboundaries in our relationship
very early, especially as itpertains to being and sometimes
you're gonna find yourself in asituation where it may be the
opposite sex that you would say.
You give somebody a ride, as anexample, in order to help you
maintain that integrity.
You know, if it's inevitable orif you just can't avoid it.
(12:26):
There are gonna be situationslike that, Like I had a coworker
once who had a flat tire andshe need to go drop her car off
and I was the only one availableat the time, you know, for her
to drop her car off and pick herup and bring her back to work.
So I could have said, oh nope,mm-mm, I don't, we're not gonna
be alone, that kind of thing.
But you know, what I did was Icalled Renee and said, hey, this
(12:47):
is what's going on, and Reneeknows the person.
So I told her what was going on.
This is the situation, but wehave already set up that
boundary that we said We'vealready set up.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I already know your character.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, even before it came about that we don't ride in
cars alone with the oppositesex.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
And I know, to the new generation that sounds like
oh, that's just doing the most.
And it's just extra.
But we have been together sincewe were 18 years old and I have
never wondered about what he'sdoing, and so a part of it if
you give me a reason to nottrust you, then you have to
accept responsibility.
So some of these things we'retalking about they may seem old
(13:24):
and primitive, but we have beenmarried, happily married, for 35
years, so I think we know justa little bit At least what works
for us and that's why thereasons why we do these Friday
or Saturday night lives justcoming along, live.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
We got the teachings and the videos and stuff like
that that are out there.
But this is the time just toget with the community and
people who have seen and watchedand all that kind of stuff,
just to engage, to talk aboutsome things and to make
investments, cause sometimes youneed some things to do on these
Saturday nights if you're notout running the streets.
Nobody does that.
Hey, ms Iris.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Hey, thanks for joining us.
So if you guys have questions,just put them in the chat.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
If you got a comment, put it in the chat, cause we
can see it.
Renee ain't got her glasses on,but I can see it.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I can see that there's words on it.
I can't read what they are.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
She can't read the words, but she knows that
they're actually there.
So talk about compassion.
Compassion is to see when wetalk about being rich, are you a
rich?
Husband and rich wife.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
So resilient integrity, compassion.
Well, Gil is a much morecompassionate person than I am,
and I love and appreciate him.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
It can be built on.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
y'all go back on here and I have learned, and I am
learning to be morecompassionate, and we had a
situation recently whereactually it was the other night.
We were preparing for Merge andthe message was about-.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Biblical roles.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Biblical roles in marriage.
Merge and to me, whenever youdecide you're going to do
something for God, he is goingto go all in your panty drawer,
your sock drawer, underneathyour couch, underneath your
refrigerator.
And I had something I had beenstruggling with and Gil was like
baby.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yes, she woke me up again.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Yes, I did.
She's a night owl.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Renee's a night owl.
I am not a night owl.
No, Gil, go to bed at 10o'clock but I probably asleep
for four, three, four hours andI'll be up but still.
But go ahead, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
And so I was talking to Gil about a situation that I
am in and he said you have totake into consideration where
that person has come from andnot where they are.
And as soon as he sees, and youneed to ask yourself what
you're really upset about,because it's really not about
(15:45):
what you're focusing on.
And so a lot of times, when wefind ourselves all ruffled up
with stuff going on, compassionis like it's like a, it is like
peroxide, it just goes in andcleans stuff up.
It cleans stuff up and it showsyou you.
And so I think that compassionis so important in, especially
(16:05):
in a marriage relationship,because we're gonna fail each
other, we're gonna disappointeach other, we're gonna have
good and bad days, and Gil hasbeen watching me in this
situation for months and itdidn't make him hate me or not
like me or not respect me.
It just made him recognize that, baby, you got to work on your
compassion, you got to buildthat compassion muscle and some
(16:27):
of these things we're gonna beworking on for the rest of our
life as long as we're believers.
Some of them are gonna begrowth areas and some of them
are gonna be strength, but it'sjust understanding that
compassion is a very importantelement, a very important facet
of having healthy, richrelationships, and we are
talking about it this morning.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
You know as far as we because we have this kind of
conversation about what we gonnawanna talk about a little bit.
It's free flowing.
But one thing that came outthat we were talking about this
morning was when you havesomeone that let's just say
you're in conflict with somebody, that you got a beef with, or
however you wanna describe it,sometimes you can be focusing on
that person when it's reallythe thing that's in you that is
(17:06):
manifesting the conflict out ofyou.
That person, or to put itanother way, does that person or
that thing push your buttons?
If that button is being pushed,that makes you wanna go, you
still got the button.
Well, it's not the person, it'sthe thing that's already on the
inside of you that is making itmanifest towards that person.
(17:27):
Right, if that makes sense.
Because if you're directing allthat energy towards something
of that person, let me ask youthis if it comes up with another
person that same thing, let'sjust say anger.
I'll just pick something reallyeasy, because we all get upset
and angry about things.
If you find yourself gettingangry about simple things, that
really doesn't warrant beingangry that, oh, I'd like.
(17:50):
Yeah, people say that, just setme off.
Whatever the case may be, if youfind that pattern happening
against other people, thenyou're not exercising that
compassion that we're talkingabout, but we're also talking
about it's railing up and risingup something on the inside of
you that maybe you need to takea little bit closer look at,
because when you think aboutcompassion, the biggest instance
(18:11):
or, for me, the simplest way ofhow does that manifest or look
like in real life is empathy,really just exercising empathy
towards someone, especially yoursignificant other, because I
think this is one of the thingsthat people underestimate so
many times in their relationship, especially when it gets tough
(18:32):
and challenging, becausesometimes you can be scared,
nervous, afraid, vulnerable.
All these other emotions getmanifest and you can find
yourself striking out or lookingoutwardly at this person that
is partnered in with you.
If you're already married,you're significant.
This is the person that God hasput in this relationship that
(18:52):
you chose.
Yeah, you know it's easy to bein a relationship where
everything is going good, butwhen everything is going
challenging or when things getchallenging, what are you like?
Are you that person that isexercising the compassion when
your significant other boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, husband
needs it or wife needs it, orfamily member.
(19:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
So we have resilient integrity, compassion and the
last one which is like Sometimesthis go ahead, you can start If
you could only have one ofthese, and the thing is, at some
stage of our life we're gonnahave one of these, or two of
these, or three, these or four,but the goal is to work on
(19:34):
cultivating all of them at thesame time, and that is the human
challenge.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
You know, I think about when we first got married,
when people said anybody evertold you just work on your
marriage, just work on it.
That can come out and mean somany different things.
This is the kind of things thatwe're talking about.
This is actually working onyour marriage and your
relationship.
These are some tangible,applicable things that you can
(20:01):
actually be doing.
If you find that, hey, myresilience is a little low or my
integrity is being challenged,or even my compassion is a
little low right now, then guesswhat?
These are the things that youcan be working on, because it's
going to build a betterrelationship for the person you
are in relationship with.
While your marriage is yourfirst relationship, this will
(20:24):
work, guess what?
And all the other ones.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
And it allows you to honor God with your life.
So many times we think thatit's speaking in tongues and
paying tithes and going to everysingle service, but really it's
manifesting the fruits of thespirit, not so much just the
gifts, because the gifts comewithout repentance, but the
fruits of the spirit beingdeveloped and cultivating your
life.
Is you being intentional andsaying you know what, lord, I'm
(20:50):
going to let you be glorified inmy life.
I am going to do somethingdifferent.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
And I think sometimes and I see your and I think that
, boziki, I think that's yourand I see your comment because,
and sometimes, when you endthose relationships that are
challenging, that's the easy wayto do it, that's the easy way
to say you know what?
I'm out, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
But you know what?
There will be another person,just like the person you left
that you are.
We're going to have to learnhow to navigate relationships
with difficult people and if youhave made a vow and you made a
commitment I don't know if youguys listened to our episode
last week with Carolina everyone of the things that we all
did, we didn't do it like wedidn't talk to each other about
(21:30):
it.
We all did separately.
Four different people made thedecision.
We're going to take divorce offthe table and I challenge you
all, as a part of this community, to take the.
Now.
I'm not talking about if youbeing sexually abused.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I'm not talking about that, abuses.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
You never wanted we're talking about kids being
abused.
No, that's, that is ground.
That is.
That's not what we're talkingabout.
We're talking about, undernormal circumstances, normal
things.
Is what he make me mad?
Or he get on my nerve, or sheget on my nerve.
Take divorce off the table,because when you take divorce
off the table, then you're goingto have to do whatever is
necessary to make it work andthat kind of leads us into the
(22:06):
age humility.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Humility, humility is one of those things that most
people will really, really lack.
Everybody's got the ego andeverybody knows the right thing
we full of pride.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
full of pride, we pride it.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
And it happens.
All of us have a level of pride.
You should have a level ofpride about who you are and what
you're doing and trying toaccomplish and those types of
things.
But when-.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I like gratitude better than pride.
Sure, sure.
I think that gratitude is anatural way to alleviate pride
in your life.
And when you recognize thatit's Christ, in you the hope of
glory Sure.
And so, to me, humility.
I just think humility is sopowerful because it's like
Christ.
He said he laid down his life.
(22:50):
What do we lay down?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Especially when it comes to your significant other
year spouse, that humility hasto be exercised on the regular,
because if you don't, you gottwo people who are prideful.
How many times is that or?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
does that?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
end well.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's like gasoline and fire.
It's gonna always be a fight.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
You know, when the tough and the challenging times
actually come up, who's gonna dowhat's right.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
It's right and wrong.
But then you have to thinkabout is it?
Do you want to be right or doyou want to get it right?
Speaker 2 (23:25):
And in a marriage, you never win.
When you win an argument, thegoal should always be to lose
the argument, because thatrequires what Humility, and so
humility, if we so to be rich,we need to be resilient.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Is there yet Operating?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
integrity, operating integrity.
We need to have compassion andwe need to operate and we need
to develop the ability to behumble.
That does not mean you don'thave a voice.
That does not mean you don'thave an opinion.
That does not mean you getwalked over.
That's not what humility is.
We're talking about Godhonoring humility, where you say
Lord, use me, use my life, usemy gifts, use my talents to
(24:02):
bring you glory and honor.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yep, absolutely.
And one thing it's somethingthat happened.
I think it was yesterday I gota text message from you.
Know, if you got people in yourlife that are reaching out to
you, respond to them.
You know everybody's goingthrough something at some given
time and we're all busy and wegot things going on and he posed
a question that was challengingand it made me think.
(24:24):
You know he was basicallysaying he wanted to talk about
what does it like to be a godlyman and to be a good husband?
Now guys ask yourself thatquestion and how would you
answer it?
You know, before I answer itand tell you what I was thinking
about, why don't you put in thechat resilient, integrity,
(24:45):
compassion, humility?
Where are you at?
What are you kind of focused on?
I won't say, because we alwaystalk about strengths.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Growth areas and strengths.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Growth areas.
And strengths and strengths.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
So what is your growth area and what is your
strength?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
What are you good at right now Operating and thumbs
up on it and what is the area.
And if you really don't know oryou're not sure, ask somebody
who's in relationship with you,ask your spouse.
You know right now If youhanging out and watching it with
us right now or as we talkingabout it.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Don't do that cause.
That might cause an argument.
No, no, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
That's humility.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You gotta be willing to hear it.
Put on your humble hat.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
You gotta be willing to hear it, cause this person is
the person that is the closestto you.
I think they probably know itpretty accurately.
What is the area that we shouldbe talking about?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yeah, and you know, when Gil, that night, the other
night, we were talking and Gilwas like babe, you know, my
response was thank you, thankyou, thank you, because you know
what he cause.
Gil used to be the kind ofperson to keep the peace.
He really could have just notsaid anything, but Gil always
tells me when my junk is raggedy, always.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
A little nicer than that he does it.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
He's a lot kinder, a lot more gentler than I am, but
he always tells me, and so weneed to make sure that we have
people in our life that can behonest with us and say, hey,
that's not working Right, hey,that's not gonna work.
So now we're gonna open it upto you guys.
If you guys have questions,things you want to know, or you
wanna finish it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I was gonna say this because, in the way I answered
and we haven't had a chance toreconnect yet we've been missing
each other as far as the phonecall, but we're gonna have the
conversation.
But the and I can give you thesecret to being a godly husband,
godly man, when it comes toyour relationship.
It's only two things that wereally, really gotta do, and we
just talked about this last weekwith our premarital couples.
(26:38):
I love that.
For guys, ours is loving andleading.
Love your wife, as Christ lovedus, and leading them just like
Christ led us.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Those are the two things.
That means you get to tell mewhat to do and I don't handle
the things Absolutely.
You take my shoes, not yourshoes, but I do get to tell you
Am I heart-stealing I?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
do get to tell you what to do, though.
No, I'm just joking.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
No that's not what it means.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
That's not what it means.
No, I'm just loving and leading, because if I'm chasing after
Christ and trying to find outwhat Jesus wants me to do in my
relationship, guess what?
It's gonna be easy for me tolead by example, the things that
I want to manifest in myrelationship and in my wife and
in my family.
Guess where it starts.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, I love you, you , the leader, which is the kind
of leader my husband is.
He is the first to give, he'sthe first to forgive, he's the
first to do everything, but he'sthe last to receive, and so
it's me first and me last, andthat's the thing that I thought
was really beautiful.
That the Lord gave him was toshow that.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
But you know what?
It's not about being a doormat.
It's not about being thinkingabout it in the context that
nothing ever happens to me andall those kinds of things.
That is just my naturalinclination, excuse me.
When it comes back to yourfamily and your wife, that's how
it should be.
Just like Jesus gave it all forus, we should be willing to do
(28:05):
that for the people that he hasplaced in our lives.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
You know especially and that we chose Right.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Why don't you tell them?
As far as the wife.
This is something that waschallenging.
That the two things for thewife.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
And the two things.
And the thing that I thoughtwas beautiful about this is that
we have equal value as husbandsand wives.
Yep, and the thing that theLord showed me was God always
says that, you know, the man issupposed to be like Christ and
love the church.
Like Christ, love the church.
But the thing that the Lordshowed me was that a woman is
supposed to be like the HolySpirit.
We're supposed to help, we'resupposed to be calm and gentle.
(28:39):
The Holy Spirit is not pushy,he's not bossy And-.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He's not contentious.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
He's not contentious.
And so I said Lord, help me tobe like the Holy Spirit in
regards to my approach and mytemperament and my tone and my
volume For helping.
And the other one is to submit.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Ooh, that's a challenge.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I know everybody think that's a cuss word
Submission and from myperspective as a 56 year old
woman is different than it waswhen I was 21.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
How was it when you were 21?
Speaker 2 (29:11):
I ain't submit to you .
I'll submit to you when you doget it together.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
And ladies, if you're watching ladies, why is
submission such a dirty word?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Because we don't understand it.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Why do?
Why do?
Why is that word like set womenoff?
Can you answer that to me?
Please just help me outunderstand.
I always, always said as longas I'm asking for understanding,
I can ask any question.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
So I'm asking y'all the question out there, so
different audience on TikTok,though yeah well, I'll take it,
because we want to know why issubmission so hard?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Submission doesn't mean subservient.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
No, it doesn't mean that you're not as valuable.
It doesn't mean that you don'thave your own voice.
It doesn't mean you don't haveyour own.
What submission means to me?
And the thing the Lord showedme and I was probably in my 30s
when he showed me this wasbecause, like I said, I come
from a female dominant house.
I am the oldest child I have.
I've been on my own since I was18.
So I knew how to take care ofme.
(30:08):
So the idea of somebody elsehaving control over me because I
think we hear submission and wehear control, but really
submission is responsibility.
Just like a leader has aresponsibility, submission is
that I don't if something whenEve ate the apple.
God did not go to Eve, god wentto Adam because God gave the
(30:30):
instruction.
So to me, I see, submission isif this man is willing to take a
bullet for me, he's willing togo the extra mile for me, he's
willing to do everything for me,why would I not want to help
him do that better?
So submission to me is I'myielding to his leadership
because at the end of the day,if something goes wrong, god is
(30:52):
not coming to me, he's coming toyou.
So for me, submission wasliberating.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Right.
It's funny because, as you weresaying and I was thinking about
the leading part A lot of timesI've heard men say this a lot,
just from all the years we'vebeen working with couples we
want the authority but we don'twant the responsibility.
You cannot have the authorityover your family, your household
, even your own life, if you'renot responsible.
(31:19):
You shouldn't even expect it.
But we want that respect thatcomes along with it, but you're
not willing to do what it takesto do and to earn it.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
When we say we want our men to lead until they tell
us no.
So leading means sometimesyou're going to be told no.
Leading means it's not that,gil, he doesn't talk to me, he
doesn't consult me.
That's not what it means.
It means that he consults mebecause both of us have to
submit to God.
As we're both submitting to God, submitting to each other
(31:52):
automatically, oh, absolutely Ilike what you said, Robin.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah, once you get that understanding and God's
plan for your life, submissionbecomes easy and trusting and
loving relationships.
That's awesome.
Yep hard work, hard word, thatyep work, that word.
I like that rate, Ms Valerie.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Thanks, Ms Valerie for your wisdom there about
abuse.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
It has been abused for so long because a word means
only has really one definition.
You know, english language hasmultiple.
But when we talk about asubmission in the context of our
relationship, especially in thecontext of Christ, that's
exactly what we, you know.
You said it's been abused tothe point to where we think
that's our weapon.
We don't ever want to use theword as a weapon to hurt, to
(32:38):
lead to God, to understand.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I would even say if you're using it the way it was
intended to be used, it's goingto grow and it's going to
flourish.
But if you're using it tocontrol and dominate, abuse is
abnormal use, and so many timeswe don't realize.
The Bible says you would knowthem by their fruit.
We have seen so many unhealthymarriages businesses, churches,
(33:01):
families and then they use theexcuse well, that's what the
word say.
No, everything that God does,it produces fruit, and so we
have to stop being so quick tofollow after something that does
not have any fruit as evidence.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yep, absolutely so.
We love doing these men.
Time goes by so fast.
We try to keep it short becausethis is just a time just to
come and hang out with you guys.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
But we want to get in time to ask questions?
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, so if you got something.
Another comment that you wantto just time in there or comment
, or anything that you want totalk about.
That's why we do this.
So just to recap right quick,by having that being that rich
husband, that rich wife, wetalking about being resilient.
We talking about operating withintegrity, being compassionate
with each other and alsoexercising humility that comes
along with it.
Those are four challengingthings.
(33:48):
You go work on those fourthings.
You going to be busy.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Because, especially and the thing that I love is
that these are not things thatwe both have to do it.
It's not just that Gil has todo this or I have to do it, we
both have to.
Because one of the things thatwe really understand is that you
are on before you become a wife, and if you, the better you
work on that individual journey.
(34:12):
When you become a wife, you'llget to focus more on the fun
stuff.
But if you don't take the timeto unpack the pain of your past,
you're going to have to unpackyour pain and his pain, or he's
going to have to unpack yourpain, and that's going to be a
part of it.
But if that's all you're doing,the yes marriage is terrible.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
It can be taxing.
It can be challenging.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
If that's the way you set it up.
That's why premarital is soimportant, because it's going to
help you to understand whereyou need to focus on you.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Absolutely so.
We enjoy hanging out with youand Mr Ray.
Thank you for the comment, youand Ms Valerie.
Thank you all for hanging outwith us.
If you're somebody else, ifyou're there and you give us a
thumbs up, share this withsomebody, because it's being
streamed right now acrossmultiple platforms, so we just
oh, I think we're only onYouTube right now.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Okay yeah, so we'll share it later.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
So if you find that this can be helpful to somebody
that you know, send it to them.
You know we, y'all know werespond.
Renee does an excellent job ofresponding to comments and all
that kind of stuff.
So send them, put them in thecomments, say what you need to
say.
You'll definitely want to dothat.
Hey, what's going on Building.
Hey, blitz, what's going on?
Thank you for hanging out withus, we love you.
(35:22):
See, she here for real, sheright here yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
She ain't in my ear right now.
I love y'all.
I love you, Blitz yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
And it's such a blessing.
Thank you, ms Tommy.
Is that Tommy?
Yeah, thank you, yeah.
Share with your girlfriends.
Please share Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
The more you guys share, the more you guys comment
, the more you guys engage, themore it helps.
Rich Relationship Refugebecause?
Oh and so if you want to be aguest on our show and join our
rich friends, please go to ourwebsite and go under book online
.
There is a space on the websitenow for become our guest and
all you have to do is fill itout.
(36:00):
It gives you the chance toschedule it at the time that
works for you.
You can do it on Saturdays, andI think I made it for Fridays
and Saturdays to interview.
So if you want to be our guest,we would love to be your guest.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
And that's married and single, because we have both
in the community, and thereason why we're starting to do
that more yes, y'all don't hurtall the stuff we talk about all
the kind of times, but they lovehearing from other people too,
and hearing other people's storyand that kind of thing.
Because, hey, what's going on?
Dershaw and Brown?
Hey, Dershaw and Brown.
So to have you guys on just toshare your wisdom and your
(36:34):
experience, because we alwayssaid it on the podcast, because
we are stronger together, thatis the most important things
when it comes to relationships.
We ran across someone that saidy'all still doing that.
Well, I forgot about y'all.
Yeah, we still doing this thing.
We've done this for 18 years.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
We've been doing this as far as YouTube and our
podcast, our podcast is fiveyears old.
It just made five years old andwe have been doing YouTube for
it.
This is going into our secondyear of committing to YouTube,
because we've realized peopleneed to see you, they need to
connect with you, so that's howwe're doing this.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Because y'all know we are here to help.
Anything that we can do to helpyou guys, we'll reach out to
you guys, we'll talk, we cancollab, we can do whatever it
takes to get the message out andto change the narrative about
being in healthy, positivemarriages and relationships.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
So they can see real people, live a real life, have a
real relationship, because thisis not scripted, this is our
real life.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
We just talking.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
We really we really love Jesus and each other and
we're going to do someget-togethers throughout the
year, just we kind of connect.
Like we've already connectedwith Iris and her husband we met
them in person, yeah and so wewant to continue to meet some of
our people and get to connectwith you.
We've built some really greatrelationships through the
internet and I think it dependson just being like-minded, and
(37:55):
so we love you guys.
If you guys have any morequestions, put them in the
comments.
If you would like to be ourguest, go to
richrelationshiprefugecom underbook online and please schedule
to be our guest and we have anew surprise coming.
We'll tell you guys when itcomes.
We've been working on it forlike three weeks.
(38:16):
Oh right, yeah, another way tohelp you guys and to serve you
guys.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Yep.
So we appreciate you guys.
Thanks for the comments, thanksfor hanging out with us.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Thank you.
Give us some hearts, some claps, some love.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
We will see you guys next week.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for your investmentin time.
Remember to subscribe to theshow and hit the notification
icon to be notified when newepisodes are posted on the
podcast platform that you'relistening from.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Or you can always find us on our website at
richrelationshipsuscom, or ourYouTube channel, rich
Relationships with Gil Renee.
If you found this podcasthelpful or you think it could
help someone that you know andcare about, please pass it along
and share it with them.
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