August 17, 2025 • 26 mins
What happens when the very tactics that make you successful in business destroy everything that matters at home? Phil Herrington spent 33 years perfecting the art of aggressive sales - cold calling, door-to-door, trampling over objections and people alike. He called himself "a rhino" because he bulldozed through relationships for quick wins.
"30 calls a day keeps poverty away" was his mantra. He made millions by treating every interaction as a transaction, every person as a target, every relationship as disposable.
Then his marriage became the casualty.
The divorce hit him like a freight train, forcing him to face a devastating truth: the ruthless tactics that built his career had made him incapable of real connection. He was a master at getting what he wanted from people, but had never learned how to actually care about them.
Alone in Boise, knowing nobody, Phil had to choose: keep being the rhino who trampled hearts for profit, or learn what he'd spent 33 years destroying - how to build genuine relationships.
Discover how a man who burned bridges for business learned to become "The Connector" - and why the skills that make you unstoppable professionally might be the exact things killing your marriage.
Timestamps:
[02:15] The "rhino mentality" that destroyed relationships for profit
[05:30] When 33 years of trampling people caught up with him
[08:45] The divorce that forced him to face the truth
[12:20] Learning connection from scratch at rock bottom
[16:40] Why business tactics and love tactics are opposites
[20:10] How to stop being a rhino at home
If You’ve Been Hooked on These Episodes… This Is for You
If this podcast has been landing deep… if each story feels like it’s peeling back something raw and real in you… then don’t ignore that.
Every guest you’ve heard made the same decision: to stop performing and start healing.
Now it’s your turn.
Take the Silent Collapse Diagnostic. It’s not a quiz. It’s a wake-up tool for women who are done pretending they’re fine.
No fluff. No journaling prompts. Just a straight-up mirror into where you’re silently collapsing behind the mask of success.
If you're serious about reclaiming your energy, your clarity, your life start there.
Because breakthrough doesn’t begin with doing more. It begins with finally seeing what’s been stealing your power.
Learn more about Baz Porter at www.bazporter.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Baz Porter (00:00):
Ladies and gentlemen , welcome back to another
episode of Rise from the Ashespodcast.
I am in front of an amazingguest.
He is Phil Harrington and he isthe connector.
Why is he the connector?
He's going to explain that veryshortly.
I met him through a bunch ofpeople crazy people, really.
(00:22):
They're called the hounds ofbusiness.
Go and check them out onLinkedIn and I really resonated
with his message, mainly becausehe's the guy a bit like myself
who did it.
He's come from sales and he'scome from a sales transactional
place into a relationship-basedsales.
I love Phil.
Phil, say hello to the world.
(00:44):
How are you?
And tell people who you are andwhat you do really what you do,
not what I've just introduced,because it's a whole new concept
.
Phil Herrington (00:52):
Yes, hello world.
So this is Phil againHarrington, as he said,
otherwise known as Phil theConnector.
Funny thing is, when I was insales so I come from hardcore
sales, meaning telemarketing,mci, long distance service,
door-to-door merchant services.
I guess I like to name myselfbecause I was Phil the credit
card guy back then and so,anyways, I was in that for about
(01:13):
12 years and I knew nothingabout business networking.
So think about 33 years of my40 years I was all cold calling,
so I never asked for a referral.
It was always easier to go getanother sale.
So I just plowed through.
I was thinking of myself asmore of a rhino than anything
else.
I'm just like, oh I have aproduct, let's go.
And I trampled on a lot ofpeople and I burned
(01:36):
relationships like crazy becauseI had no idea what this concept
of building a deeperrelationship.
And that was all in Wichita,kansas, where I was for a long
time.
I got introduced to that.
I wanted to be in businesssales because I hated.
I wanted to do a nine to fivething.
So I moved to business sales sothat at five o'clock I'd go
(01:56):
home, and weekends businessowners didn't want to hear from
me.
So it worked out perfect, andthen I just stayed in business
sales everything that I did.
Anyways, in 2018, end of 17, Igot divorced here in Boise,
idaho, and that's a whole notherstory how we got here, but
we're crazy.
And when I got here, I didn'tknow anybody and I got
introduced to BNI, businessNetworking International, and
(02:18):
started that process, but Idon't know how much of the story
you want me to reveal right now.
Please, whatever you want, oh,keep going, okay, okay.
So I tell you the first part tosay I come from that cold
calling mentality, right.
So 30 calls a day keeps povertyaway handing out business cards
, that type of thing.
So when I get into thenetworking world, I'm like holy
crud, everyone will do aone-to-one.
(02:39):
This is stupid, right?
Especially for a salesperson.
So I went nuts with it.
I did 500 one-to-ones my firstyear and then we sold 70
websites.
I was with a website company.
It's about 40 a month, right.
I just tried it.
About 10 a week.
So I literally sit in coffeeshops two or three days a week
and they'd come in every hour onthe hour.
And I had it figured out fromthe very beginning because I'm a
(03:01):
systems guy.
So I was like go to a meeting,take a picture of all the cards,
send them to the gal that washelping me out and she would set
up all the appointments, and sothat way I would just sit there
and the one-to-ones would comein.
Of course I was super tired atthe end of the day because I
told my story eight times andnow we've moved to a different
model where we do one-to-many,but just because we're meeting
(03:29):
so many people.
But I helped a number of brandsbuild up their brand.
I've always sat in that salesrole and it wasn't until we
started the connector communitythat I actually took on a
business role, as in a businessowner.
So, like always said, I had myown business but I was really
selling stuff for other people.
So, anyways, that first 570websites I call them the
accidental sale because I neverasked for a referral, I was just
in the right place at the righttime.
And that's sales.
As we transitioned over the lastseven years, I think.
(03:49):
In the last two years I reallystarted to understand oh, I've
done now 5,000 one-to-ones andI'm like, oh, you just don't
need to spread your seed thatmuch, you need to just find the
right strategic partners.
And that's where this was born,this connector community,
because I realized, oh one,people don't have the time to be
(04:10):
professional networkers, theycan't go do 10 to 12 or 21 to
ones a week, like I did becauseI just had the time.
But they also don't, are not inall the places that they would
like to be.
So we bring the cream of thecrop back to one place and then
we slowly introduce you.
Oh, it like to be.
So we bring the cream of thecrap back to one place and then
we slowly introduce you.
So it's pretty cool.
So we're stoked about it.
Baz Porter (04:30):
I love this concept because, as myself being an
entrepreneur, I've been in thisspace for six years.
I'm trying to do the math now.
My brain's not working, butwhen I had the same challenges
you're speaking about, I didn'thave enough time and bandwidth
to do one-to-ones.
But my challenge was being anewbie on the scene and very
green at the time, not evenknowing about what
(04:52):
entrepreneurship was a few yearsago.
So I was marketing.
I knew none of this.
But my challenge was and I'msure the listeners and the
listener who's listening to thisnow is oh my god, I have this
challenge.
I'm getting stonewalled, Idon't get the sales, I'm not
getting the people in on mycalendar.
My calendar is so sparse,crickets on it.
(05:12):
What was the driving forcebehind you realizing that you
have a full calendar and goingwhat am I actually delivering?
What's the difference between asale and a relationship?
Because I know what I'm talkingabout.
She was smiling, going yes,yeah, yes.
Phil Herrington (05:31):
Thank you for asking the question.
What is the difference?
So the difference is this whenyou don't know and there's
nothing wrong with not knowingbut when you don't know, people
are telling you because you goto these meetings.
They say do your one-to-ones.
All the magic happens in theone-to-ones, all that stuff.
All that's true, except peopleuse the one-to-ones as a lead
(05:52):
source.
So they sit down and they tellyou what they're trying to sell
you on their service, they putyou on their newsletters, they
do all these things, but it'sall about them and not about the
value they can offer to theperson across the table or the
Zoom room from them.
So what I teach is educate,educate, educate your network
(06:15):
and get them to flip the scriptand start sending you
introductions.
And we've discovered it.
It's been fun and we're now ontrack this year for 800 plus
introductions, because we don'tsell anything, we just ask for
introductions and so when peoplecan.
So I always tell people do youwant to sell the person, the one
(06:35):
person you're talking to rightnow, or do you want to get into
their network, which you have toearn that trust?
And the average person say theyknow a thousand people.
If you do 500 one-to-ones in ayear.
I have the potential of meetingone connection away from
500,000.
But that's so when I was beingdumb about it, I was just
(06:55):
selling the person across thetable.
I sold 70 websites.
The next year I should havesold 200 or 300 or more because
I was getting referrals.
But I was dumb at the time andI went right for the quick sale
and not for the long-termrelationship.
Baz Porter (07:10):
That's what a lot of people.
It's one of the lessons Ilearned in the forming of what
I'm building now.
But you seem to hack the systemvery quickly.
Now I want to go.
I want to go back to when itwas, when you were sort of cold
calling, because every singleperson gets cold call we, I just
they go straight to spam thesedays because I've just can't be
(07:32):
bothered with it.
But what was the driving force?
Because it must be, you musthave, I've heard, internet and
the rest of it, the things youget said to go fuck yourself, go
do your grades, whatever.
All that.
How is that?
That must have been sodegrading for you and the people
you're trying to help and serveyou providing for your family
(07:53):
yourself, and they give you somuch abuse.
How has that meant on yourmentality?
How has that meant on yourmental health?
Phil Herrington (08:01):
It's interesting.
Now I've had the belief for thelongest time that people didn't
like me, right?
So this probably is where itcomes from.
But you learn to separate youremotions from it pretty quickly.
And then once you all myschooling, if you will, for
sales comes from MLMs that I wasinvolved with all the tapes.
I've listened to all that.
Whatever right, I'm in the carI'm listening to something Zig,
(08:24):
ziglar, all those guys right.
So just constantly sales stuffand everything you hear.
There is numbers, don't lie.
So once you can find yournumbers, so if you're in a
situation where you need a coldcall, once you find your numbers
, then you just make a game outof it.
For example, I knew every 45calls when I did MCI long
distance service I'd make a sale.
(08:44):
So when you were awful to me orhung up or I got a blow horn
one time and I had to throw myheadset off, but I was like,
cool, I'm one step closer to thesale, one step closer to the
sale.
So because my mind was set onthe goal, I didn't care.
So I wanted to take as manycalls that night as I could.
I want to take 500 calls so Ican make 10 sales.
So then, moving forward incredit card processing, I'd hand
(09:07):
out 30 calls a day.
I'd set five appointments, sellabout two and a half.
So I had it figured out that Iwas making five grand every time
I held out, hand out or I wasmaking maybe it didn't matter
five grand save for every 30calls.
So I was every time I washanding a card out.
It's like they were giving me150 bucks, and when you started
to see it that way, then youcould care less what people said
(09:29):
.
Now, back then I really had nomission.
I wasn't trying to help theirbusiness.
I wouldn't say that I wasoffering a service that would
save them money, but I didn'thave an overall approach to
really affect their business,and so that's why I didn't build
any relationships.
I was never taught how to dothat, so I had to be self-taught
.
Baz Porter (09:50):
I love that about people like you, because you are
self-taught and from my ownexperience, they make the
strongest entrepreneurs becausethey haven't gone to get a paid
advertisement or sponsorship orsomething else.
That is the quick solution, orthey believe is the quick
solution.
They've actually done the work,they've put the hours in.
(10:11):
There's a very good friend ofmine his name is Peter Swain who
, a bit like yourself, back inthe day, was cold calling people
and he would go in andliterally go this is what I'm
doing today and that's how muchI'm going to make and he was
like ludicrous in amountsbecause of what he was selling.
But he said I can't do itanymore.
He could not physically do itanymore, so he switched into
(10:35):
marketing.
Now you switch, not intomarketing so much, but into
connecting people to otherpeople.
Yeah, in that transition, whatwere the challenges?
Phil Herrington (10:47):
First, the scalability.
For example, as I startedmeeting people, I was like, oh,
you're in health and wellness,you need to meet all these other
people.
So I would sit after myappointments and make five or 10
introductions by text.
Right, my joy came from when Isaw them connect because inside
the text that they did, theywere going to meet next Tuesday
and all that.
I was like cool.
So I didn't know, unbeknownst tome, I was building a brand.
(11:09):
I just didn't know that I wasstart sending things over to
people and then they sent memoney back.
When they bought and I didn'task for it, I was like, oh, I've
stumbled upon something herewhere people are because, being
(11:31):
a salesman, as long as I have,it's so in my blood that I don't
think about other people nothaving the same skillset.
So for me to make 30 phonecalls, no big deal, for someone
else it's like life or death.
So I realized, oh, if I couldprovide warm introductions to
people which, by the way, that'swhy I always join chambers and
other things so I could call andsay hey, I'm part of the same
network as you are, let's have aconversation.
(11:52):
Don't know how to do that.
When we started doing the actualintroductions.
Then stuff started to happenand I was like, oh, this is so
powerful, and then I just I getthe joy of that right, people
getting the connections, gettingthe warm introductions, and
then, as they just educate theirpeople, then they win right.
So it's just, it's really itnow, it's just very fulfilling
(12:15):
but that's the thing aboutpeople like you.
Baz Porter (12:18):
I like because it isn't just a business.
This is fulfilling for you,this is something that you not
just do for a living, but youthrive and enjoy this, and that
is a different level ofentrepreneurship.
Yeah, because you're not doingit just for the transaction, as
we said earlier.
(12:38):
You're doing it because it's arelationship-based business and
it's a model that has been tried, tested and works yeah, yeah
when the transition came fromsales into, oh, I need to build
something completely different.
What were the market?
Phil Herrington (12:57):
challenges Because I created a hybrid.
So I've always had this beliefthat I never want, I don't see
anybody as my competition,because I always want to figure
out a way to work with them.
So when we started developingthis idea, I wanted to make sure
one thing I didn't have anymeetings, and it was one because
I didn't want to create anotherjob for myself and show up to a
(13:20):
meeting every week and if Ican't be there, get someone
there.
So that was one reason.
But then the other reason is oh, now I can come alongside other
networking groups and be abenefit to them.
No one's my competition.
So we created this hybrid.
So I think the biggest marketingchallenge has been people
understanding that we're not anetworking group.
We're a connection platform, amatchmaking business, and we
(13:44):
matchmake you to your strategicpartners.
So we've taken the.
We sit right in between aLinkedIn type situation and a
traditional networking, becausewe do all the networking for you
and we build your network foryou.
So it's that.
It's because we've created awhole new thing that sits in the
middle of these two.
(14:05):
It's the education, becausewhen they hear community, they
think, oh, it's anothernetworking group.
Baz Porter (14:10):
I'm already a part of a networking group, and so
it's the education part has beenthe biggest challenge I love
that, and if you're the personwho's listening to this now
going, what the hell is aneducation platform?
I don't understand.
There's a link below.
Go check it out, because if wetry and explain it to you, it
doesn't have the same effect.
And certainly, if I try andexplain it and Phil tries it, go
(14:31):
and experience it, see if it'sfor you.
Get in contact with Phil.
Whether get in contact withPhil, whether it be a
relationship call or whateveryou want to call it, have a
conversation and speak to theforemost leader in this industry
, because what Phil is doingI've experienced it and the
connections he's brought into myworld and is bringing into my
(14:51):
world is unbelievable, but it'ssomething based in a mutual
relationship and respect, whichI haven't seen very much of
anywhere else.
The hounds yes, phil, yes, butyou need to surround yourself
with people that actually knowthe people that your ideal
clients are.
One of the things that Istruggled with was understanding
(15:14):
who that ideal ICA was.
The ideal client avatar yes,and I've had people say to me oh
, I've got three.
I'm like that's great.
Coca-cola had one for over 100years.
How have you got three?
Yeah, coca-cola is abillion-dollar brand.
Why have you got three and theycome back with oh, this person,
(15:38):
I've got this product and thisproduct, but you bypassed all of
that and you created somethingrelationship-based that has a
community.
But it's all about relationshipintroductions, yes, but your
ideal client is who?
Phil Herrington (15:54):
Great question .
Our ideal client is a businessthat can do business worldwide.
So we're building abusiness-to-business network,
unlike some networking groupswhere they're focused heavily on
B2C.
B2cs don't do fantastic hereActually, they don't do well at
all, unless they happen to be inBoise, idaho, because I have a
(16:16):
network here.
But businesses that can sell abusiness, service or product
worldwide, or some peoplenationwide.
But now it's becoming worldwidebecause we're so connected.
But that's the avatar.
Baz Porter (16:29):
So if someone came to you, I'm sorry, consultant, I
don't like the word coaches fora thousand reasons, so we'll
say consultant.
And this consultant is aftermen, 45, going through a midlife
fucking crisis.
Can you help us?
(16:50):
I'm just spitballing nowcompletely, but can you help
this person?
Phil Herrington (16:54):
Yes, and I'm going to tell you how I can help
that person so that youunderstand how my brain works.
So I'm going to go one levelabove his customer.
So if his customer is astruggling mid forties, midlife
crisis guy, they most likely inmy world would own a business
and maybe they're stuck somehowand they want that breakthrough
(17:16):
that I'm going to put him withother coaches that maybe do a
different thing, because that'sanother tool in their tool belt.
I'm going to put him inconnection with people that are
in, maybe, marketing, that saythey want to also focus on that
same person so they can make acombined effort together to help
this person, so on and so forth.
So I'm going to put him withpeople that is also their
(17:37):
customer so that they cancombine forces and go after them
together.
So that's the idea is creatingthose.
We create more jointpartnerships and collaborations
faster than any other network,because that's the only thing we
do.
We don't have you go meet withand nothing against Mary Kay.
I'm just using it as an example.
I don't send you Mary Kaypeople.
(17:58):
I send you other coaches foryou, other marketing people,
those types of things that arein your space already and
they're already speaking to yourcustomer.
They just may not know how torefer you yet.
So your whole job is only toeducate them on how to refer you
, not to sell them.
So the switch happens.
So, yeah, so that's how I'd goabout it, as I always go.
(18:19):
Sure, tell me who your avataris, that I'm going to tell you
the people in my community thatare working with the same one
and we're going to make it, makeyour connection there and when
you could start to vieweverybody from the connector
community as a strategic partnerand not someone you're going to
sell, get into their network.
You win, because we're only 14months in and we're on track for
800.
(18:39):
Just do what I tell you to do.
Baz Porter (18:43):
But that goal that most people are in the mindset
of I need to sell myself, I needto get this, I need to persuade
this person in front of them tobuy their products.
And I switched from this doinga while ago, which is, like you
said, educate.
I tell people about my products.
I also tell them about theresults and I bridge the gap and
(19:05):
then I put testimonials inthere and all the rest of that
stuff.
But it's not about look at me,I'm fucking awesome and look why
I've done all the prestigestuff.
That's a component of it, butvery far down the road, it's not
.
I look what I've done.
All the prestige stuff.
That's a component of it, butvery far down the road, it's not
.
I look what I've done.
I had a meeting, two meetingsyesterday with some people and
(19:26):
yeah, they were both the samenames and that they contacted me
through a referral of mine andthey said I've heard all about
you, don't know what we'remeeting.
They said tell me what you,what you do.
I said, no, I want to learnabout you.
And then, at the very end, Isaid I think I can help you do X
, y and Z.
Would you be open to a callabout that, to learn about what
(19:50):
I, the results of what I do.
Phil Herrington (19:53):
Yeah, so I want to.
That's the most brilliant thing.
I teach that all the time you,even though the other person
said, hey, what do you do?
(20:13):
You turned it around, allowedthem to go first.
So first let them.
When you first get on a call oryou get into a about how to
position yourself but in whatnetwork they have, and things
like that.
But also they're all ears whenyou go to talk.
So you always let them go first, no matter what, even insist on
it.
And then the way I do it is Isay, hey, I want to listen to
your story so I can figure outpeople to connect you to.
(20:36):
Yeah, and so then they go, okay, they're all good, they tell me
.
And then I, like you did, hey,let's do another call where I
tell you what I do.
Baz Porter (20:44):
And now they come to that call expecting the other
thing I say with it, and this isfor the person watching this
going oh my God, how do you dothat?
I want to be respectful of yourtime.
Yes, that's so beautiful love itand I learned that I can't
remember where I learned itanyway because what it does is
position their status not aboveyou.
(21:06):
But oh, this guy respects me,my time.
Yes, the value of it, exchange.
So you were talking about thereearlier on about the law of
reciprocity.
You go and then it's received,but when you come back into it
they're qualified again to thatnext level because this they've
turned up, they're willing toyep, give and listen.
(21:29):
When you go into it, there'sanother level of right.
This is, this is anotherqualified person, and it's gone
from cold to lukewarm by the endof that call.
If you're good enough and youknow what you're talking about
and you can bridge the gap, thenit becomes a client.
Yes, yes I agree, you're theexpert.
(21:50):
I'm not a salesperson, not amarketer.
That isn't me.
I've had to learn it all.
But what you're speaking aboutnow is gold for these new
entrepreneurs coming in going.
I don't know what to do andI've been told listen, listen
from here, and I've got to sellover here and I've got to do all
my social media stuff andthey've got to wear all these
hats.
Phil Herrington (22:10):
You're saying don't wear all the hats, just
connect with the right people,connect with the right people
and educate.
And if I was them, even yourfirst six months to a year, I
wouldn't even worry about socialmedia.
You got to build a grassrootsfollowing, right, and the way
you do that is through people.
And so you got to go out.
(22:31):
You don't even know who you areright now, especially if you're
a new business.
We've completely transformed towhat our model is.
We thought we were a networkinggroup at the beginning.
We are not, but I had.
It took me almost a year tofigure that out by doing it.
And so just go meet the people,just educate, listen to them,
because they're going to dropbombs on you that are like
(22:52):
they're five years down the roadin their business.
You're like that's amazing, I'mgoing to go that direction.
And then you start to formulatewhat you do.
So I always say marketing andnothing against any marketing
people out there, but marketingis more like phase two, right,
once you know your voice and ifyou can speed that process up,
great.
If you have the money, you canpay somebody to get you branded,
(23:13):
but you may not even know whoyou are and who you want to
serve right now.
So just go practice by meetingpeople, and if you meet the
right people, they'll get youinto their network, because
people want to teach, right.
What we're really playing onwhen we ask for introductions is
people's ego, right, becauseI'm saying, hey, do you know
somebody that does blank?
And you're like, heck, yeah, Ido.
And then they go fill out myform, right, and so it's just.
(23:36):
People want to be that savior,that hero, right, and they're
more than happy to be a hero toyou and allow you to spit on
them everything that you'redoing, so you can start to
formulate what it is that you do.
I love it.
Baz Porter (23:50):
Yeah, it's great, phil, we're going to end with
part one.
If there's anything, you couldadvise your client, ideal person
now what to do within this rutof oh my God, I'm not going to
sales, I can't do this, I'mgoing to go back and be a job 9
to 5.
What was that first thing youhad to say to them?
What do I have to do?
I know, come to your network,but what is it?
Phil Herrington (24:11):
Yeah, no, I'm not doing this.
If you have no money, 75% ofyour calendar should be done
with one-to-ones.
Once you start paying the bills, then 50% and once you've
reached your higher level, 25%.
But never let networking go,because you never know who
you're going to meet.
Baz Porter (24:29):
Awesome.
I love that advice.
Thank you very much forlistening.
Share this message, get onPhil's calendar or into the
network.
The links are below.
Phil, I'll see you on part twomy audience.
Thank you very much forlistening.
This is amazing.
This exists because of you, soplease share the message and
inspire somebody today.
Have an amazing day on purpose,and I'll see you on part two
(24:50):
with phil.
Ladies and gentlemen , welcome back to another
episode of Rise from the Ashespodcast.
I am in front of an amazingguest.
He is Phil Harrington and he isthe connector.
Why is he the connector?
He's going to explain that veryshortly.
I met him through a bunch ofpeople crazy people, really.
(00:22):
They're called the hounds ofbusiness.
Go and check them out onLinkedIn and I really resonated
with his message, mainly becausehe's the guy a bit like myself
who did it.
He's come from sales and he'scome from a sales transactional
place into a relationship-basedsales.
I love Phil.
Phil, say hello to the world.
(00:44):
How are you?
And tell people who you are andwhat you do really what you do,
not what I've just introduced,because it's a whole new concept
.
Phil Herrington (00:52):
Yes, hello world.
So this is Phil againHarrington, as he said,
otherwise known as Phil theConnector.
Funny thing is, when I was insales so I come from hardcore
sales, meaning telemarketing,mci, long distance service,
door-to-door merchant services.
I guess I like to name myselfbecause I was Phil the credit
card guy back then and so,anyways, I was in that for about
(01:13):
12 years and I knew nothingabout business networking.
So think about 33 years of my40 years I was all cold calling,
so I never asked for a referral.
It was always easier to go getanother sale.
So I just plowed through.
I was thinking of myself asmore of a rhino than anything
else.
I'm just like, oh I have aproduct, let's go.
And I trampled on a lot ofpeople and I burned
(01:36):
relationships like crazy becauseI had no idea what this concept
of building a deeperrelationship.
And that was all in Wichita,kansas, where I was for a long
time.
I got introduced to that.
I wanted to be in businesssales because I hated.
I wanted to do a nine to fivething.
So I moved to business sales sothat at five o'clock I'd go
(01:56):
home, and weekends businessowners didn't want to hear from
me.
So it worked out perfect, andthen I just stayed in business
sales everything that I did.
Anyways, in 2018, end of 17, Igot divorced here in Boise,
idaho, and that's a whole notherstory how we got here, but
we're crazy.
And when I got here, I didn'tknow anybody and I got
introduced to BNI, businessNetworking International, and
(02:18):
started that process, but Idon't know how much of the story
you want me to reveal right now.
Please, whatever you want, oh,keep going, okay, okay.
So I tell you the first part tosay I come from that cold
calling mentality, right.
So 30 calls a day keeps povertyaway handing out business cards
, that type of thing.
So when I get into thenetworking world, I'm like holy
crud, everyone will do aone-to-one.
(02:39):
This is stupid, right?
Especially for a salesperson.
So I went nuts with it.
I did 500 one-to-ones my firstyear and then we sold 70
websites.
I was with a website company.
It's about 40 a month, right.
I just tried it.
About 10 a week.
So I literally sit in coffeeshops two or three days a week
and they'd come in every hour onthe hour.
And I had it figured out fromthe very beginning because I'm a
(03:01):
systems guy.
So I was like go to a meeting,take a picture of all the cards,
send them to the gal that washelping me out and she would set
up all the appointments, and sothat way I would just sit there
and the one-to-ones would comein.
Of course I was super tired atthe end of the day because I
told my story eight times andnow we've moved to a different
model where we do one-to-many,but just because we're meeting
(03:29):
so many people.
But I helped a number of brandsbuild up their brand.
I've always sat in that salesrole and it wasn't until we
started the connector communitythat I actually took on a
business role, as in a businessowner.
So, like always said, I had myown business but I was really
selling stuff for other people.
So, anyways, that first 570websites I call them the
accidental sale because I neverasked for a referral, I was just
in the right place at the righttime.
And that's sales.
As we transitioned over the lastseven years, I think.
(03:49):
In the last two years I reallystarted to understand oh, I've
done now 5,000 one-to-ones andI'm like, oh, you just don't
need to spread your seed thatmuch, you need to just find the
right strategic partners.
And that's where this was born,this connector community,
because I realized, oh one,people don't have the time to be
(04:10):
professional networkers, theycan't go do 10 to 12 or 21 to
ones a week, like I did becauseI just had the time.
But they also don't, are not inall the places that they would
like to be.
So we bring the cream of thecrop back to one place and then
we slowly introduce you.
Oh, it like to be.
So we bring the cream of thecrap back to one place and then
we slowly introduce you.
So it's pretty cool.
So we're stoked about it.
Baz Porter (04:30):
I love this concept because, as myself being an
entrepreneur, I've been in thisspace for six years.
I'm trying to do the math now.
My brain's not working, butwhen I had the same challenges
you're speaking about, I didn'thave enough time and bandwidth
to do one-to-ones.
But my challenge was being anewbie on the scene and very
green at the time, not evenknowing about what
(04:52):
entrepreneurship was a few yearsago.
So I was marketing.
I knew none of this.
But my challenge was and I'msure the listeners and the
listener who's listening to thisnow is oh my god, I have this
challenge.
I'm getting stonewalled, Idon't get the sales, I'm not
getting the people in on mycalendar.
My calendar is so sparse,crickets on it.
(05:12):
What was the driving forcebehind you realizing that you
have a full calendar and goingwhat am I actually delivering?
What's the difference between asale and a relationship?
Because I know what I'm talkingabout.
She was smiling, going yes,yeah, yes.
Phil Herrington (05:31):
Thank you for asking the question.
What is the difference?
So the difference is this whenyou don't know and there's
nothing wrong with not knowingbut when you don't know, people
are telling you because you goto these meetings.
They say do your one-to-ones.
All the magic happens in theone-to-ones, all that stuff.
All that's true, except peopleuse the one-to-ones as a lead
(05:52):
source.
So they sit down and they tellyou what they're trying to sell
you on their service, they putyou on their newsletters, they
do all these things, but it'sall about them and not about the
value they can offer to theperson across the table or the
Zoom room from them.
So what I teach is educate,educate, educate your network
(06:15):
and get them to flip the scriptand start sending you
introductions.
And we've discovered it.
It's been fun and we're now ontrack this year for 800 plus
introductions, because we don'tsell anything, we just ask for
introductions and so when peoplecan.
So I always tell people do youwant to sell the person, the one
(06:35):
person you're talking to rightnow, or do you want to get into
their network, which you have toearn that trust?
And the average person say theyknow a thousand people.
If you do 500 one-to-ones in ayear.
I have the potential of meetingone connection away from
500,000.
But that's so when I was beingdumb about it, I was just
(06:55):
selling the person across thetable.
I sold 70 websites.
The next year I should havesold 200 or 300 or more because
I was getting referrals.
But I was dumb at the time andI went right for the quick sale
and not for the long-termrelationship.
Baz Porter (07:10):
That's what a lot of people.
It's one of the lessons Ilearned in the forming of what
I'm building now.
But you seem to hack the systemvery quickly.
Now I want to go.
I want to go back to when itwas, when you were sort of cold
calling, because every singleperson gets cold call we, I just
they go straight to spam thesedays because I've just can't be
(07:32):
bothered with it.
But what was the driving force?
Because it must be, you musthave, I've heard, internet and
the rest of it, the things youget said to go fuck yourself, go
do your grades, whatever.
All that.
How is that?
That must have been sodegrading for you and the people
you're trying to help and serveyou providing for your family
(07:53):
yourself, and they give you somuch abuse.
How has that meant on yourmentality?
How has that meant on yourmental health?
Phil Herrington (08:01):
It's interesting.
Now I've had the belief for thelongest time that people didn't
like me, right?
So this probably is where itcomes from.
But you learn to separate youremotions from it pretty quickly.
And then once you all myschooling, if you will, for
sales comes from MLMs that I wasinvolved with all the tapes.
I've listened to all that.
Whatever right, I'm in the carI'm listening to something Zig,
(08:24):
ziglar, all those guys right.
So just constantly sales stuffand everything you hear.
There is numbers, don't lie.
So once you can find yournumbers, so if you're in a
situation where you need a coldcall, once you find your numbers
, then you just make a game outof it.
For example, I knew every 45calls when I did MCI long
distance service I'd make a sale.
(08:44):
So when you were awful to me orhung up or I got a blow horn
one time and I had to throw myheadset off, but I was like,
cool, I'm one step closer to thesale, one step closer to the
sale.
So because my mind was set onthe goal, I didn't care.
So I wanted to take as manycalls that night as I could.
I want to take 500 calls so Ican make 10 sales.
So then, moving forward incredit card processing, I'd hand
(09:07):
out 30 calls a day.
I'd set five appointments, sellabout two and a half.
So I had it figured out that Iwas making five grand every time
I held out, hand out or I wasmaking maybe it didn't matter
five grand save for every 30calls.
So I was every time I washanding a card out.
It's like they were giving me150 bucks, and when you started
to see it that way, then youcould care less what people said
(09:29):
.
Now, back then I really had nomission.
I wasn't trying to help theirbusiness.
I wouldn't say that I wasoffering a service that would
save them money, but I didn'thave an overall approach to
really affect their business,and so that's why I didn't build
any relationships.
I was never taught how to dothat, so I had to be self-taught
.
Baz Porter (09:50):
I love that about people like you, because you are
self-taught and from my ownexperience, they make the
strongest entrepreneurs becausethey haven't gone to get a paid
advertisement or sponsorship orsomething else.
That is the quick solution, orthey believe is the quick
solution.
They've actually done the work,they've put the hours in.
(10:11):
There's a very good friend ofmine his name is Peter Swain who
, a bit like yourself, back inthe day, was cold calling people
and he would go in andliterally go this is what I'm
doing today and that's how muchI'm going to make and he was
like ludicrous in amountsbecause of what he was selling.
But he said I can't do itanymore.
He could not physically do itanymore, so he switched into
(10:35):
marketing.
Now you switch, not intomarketing so much, but into
connecting people to otherpeople.
Yeah, in that transition, whatwere the challenges?
Phil Herrington (10:47):
First, the scalability.
For example, as I startedmeeting people, I was like, oh,
you're in health and wellness,you need to meet all these other
people.
So I would sit after myappointments and make five or 10
introductions by text.
Right, my joy came from when Isaw them connect because inside
the text that they did, theywere going to meet next Tuesday
and all that.
I was like cool.
So I didn't know, unbeknownst tome, I was building a brand.
(11:09):
I just didn't know that I wasstart sending things over to
people and then they sent memoney back.
When they bought and I didn'task for it, I was like, oh, I've
stumbled upon something herewhere people are because, being
(11:31):
a salesman, as long as I have,it's so in my blood that I don't
think about other people nothaving the same skillset.
So for me to make 30 phonecalls, no big deal, for someone
else it's like life or death.
So I realized, oh, if I couldprovide warm introductions to
people which, by the way, that'swhy I always join chambers and
other things so I could call andsay hey, I'm part of the same
network as you are, let's have aconversation.
(11:52):
Don't know how to do that.
When we started doing the actualintroductions.
Then stuff started to happenand I was like, oh, this is so
powerful, and then I just I getthe joy of that right, people
getting the connections, gettingthe warm introductions, and
then, as they just educate theirpeople, then they win right.
So it's just, it's really itnow, it's just very fulfilling
(12:15):
but that's the thing aboutpeople like you.
Baz Porter (12:18):
I like because it isn't just a business.
This is fulfilling for you,this is something that you not
just do for a living, but youthrive and enjoy this, and that
is a different level ofentrepreneurship.
Yeah, because you're not doingit just for the transaction, as
we said earlier.
(12:38):
You're doing it because it's arelationship-based business and
it's a model that has been tried, tested and works yeah, yeah
when the transition came fromsales into, oh, I need to build
something completely different.
What were the market?
Phil Herrington (12:57):
challenges Because I created a hybrid.
So I've always had this beliefthat I never want, I don't see
anybody as my competition,because I always want to figure
out a way to work with them.
So when we started developingthis idea, I wanted to make sure
one thing I didn't have anymeetings, and it was one because
I didn't want to create anotherjob for myself and show up to a
(13:20):
meeting every week and if Ican't be there, get someone
there.
So that was one reason.
But then the other reason is oh, now I can come alongside other
networking groups and be abenefit to them.
No one's my competition.
So we created this hybrid.
So I think the biggest marketingchallenge has been people
understanding that we're not anetworking group.
We're a connection platform, amatchmaking business, and we
(13:44):
matchmake you to your strategicpartners.
So we've taken the.
We sit right in between aLinkedIn type situation and a
traditional networking, becausewe do all the networking for you
and we build your network foryou.
So it's that.
It's because we've created awhole new thing that sits in the
middle of these two.
(14:05):
It's the education, becausewhen they hear community, they
think, oh, it's anothernetworking group.
Baz Porter (14:10):
I'm already a part of a networking group, and so
it's the education part has beenthe biggest challenge I love
that, and if you're the personwho's listening to this now
going, what the hell is aneducation platform?
I don't understand.
There's a link below.
Go check it out, because if wetry and explain it to you, it
doesn't have the same effect.
And certainly, if I try andexplain it and Phil tries it, go
(14:31):
and experience it, see if it'sfor you.
Get in contact with Phil.
Whether get in contact withPhil, whether it be a
relationship call or whateveryou want to call it, have a
conversation and speak to theforemost leader in this industry
, because what Phil is doingI've experienced it and the
connections he's brought into myworld and is bringing into my
(14:51):
world is unbelievable, but it'ssomething based in a mutual
relationship and respect, whichI haven't seen very much of
anywhere else.
The hounds yes, phil, yes, butyou need to surround yourself
with people that actually knowthe people that your ideal
clients are.
One of the things that Istruggled with was understanding
(15:14):
who that ideal ICA was.
The ideal client avatar yes,and I've had people say to me oh
, I've got three.
I'm like that's great.
Coca-cola had one for over 100years.
How have you got three?
Yeah, coca-cola is abillion-dollar brand.
Why have you got three and theycome back with oh, this person,
(15:38):
I've got this product and thisproduct, but you bypassed all of
that and you created somethingrelationship-based that has a
community.
But it's all about relationshipintroductions, yes, but your
ideal client is who?
Phil Herrington (15:54):
Great question .
Our ideal client is a businessthat can do business worldwide.
So we're building abusiness-to-business network,
unlike some networking groupswhere they're focused heavily on
B2C.
B2cs don't do fantastic hereActually, they don't do well at
all, unless they happen to be inBoise, idaho, because I have a
(16:16):
network here.
But businesses that can sell abusiness, service or product
worldwide, or some peoplenationwide.
But now it's becoming worldwidebecause we're so connected.
But that's the avatar.
Baz Porter (16:29):
So if someone came to you, I'm sorry, consultant, I
don't like the word coaches fora thousand reasons, so we'll
say consultant.
And this consultant is aftermen, 45, going through a midlife
fucking crisis.
Can you help us?
(16:50):
I'm just spitballing nowcompletely, but can you help
this person?
Phil Herrington (16:54):
Yes, and I'm going to tell you how I can help
that person so that youunderstand how my brain works.
So I'm going to go one levelabove his customer.
So if his customer is astruggling mid forties, midlife
crisis guy, they most likely inmy world would own a business
and maybe they're stuck somehowand they want that breakthrough
(17:16):
that I'm going to put him withother coaches that maybe do a
different thing, because that'sanother tool in their tool belt.
I'm going to put him inconnection with people that are
in, maybe, marketing, that saythey want to also focus on that
same person so they can make acombined effort together to help
this person, so on and so forth.
So I'm going to put him withpeople that is also their
(17:37):
customer so that they cancombine forces and go after them
together.
So that's the idea is creatingthose.
We create more jointpartnerships and collaborations
faster than any other network,because that's the only thing we
do.
We don't have you go meet withand nothing against Mary Kay.
I'm just using it as an example.
I don't send you Mary Kaypeople.
(17:58):
I send you other coaches foryou, other marketing people,
those types of things that arein your space already and
they're already speaking to yourcustomer.
They just may not know how torefer you yet.
So your whole job is only toeducate them on how to refer you
, not to sell them.
So the switch happens.
So, yeah, so that's how I'd goabout it, as I always go.
(18:19):
Sure, tell me who your avataris, that I'm going to tell you
the people in my community thatare working with the same one
and we're going to make it, makeyour connection there and when
you could start to vieweverybody from the connector
community as a strategic partnerand not someone you're going to
sell, get into their network.
You win, because we're only 14months in and we're on track for
800.
(18:39):
Just do what I tell you to do.
Baz Porter (18:43):
But that goal that most people are in the mindset
of I need to sell myself, I needto get this, I need to persuade
this person in front of them tobuy their products.
And I switched from this doinga while ago, which is, like you
said, educate.
I tell people about my products.
I also tell them about theresults and I bridge the gap and
(19:05):
then I put testimonials inthere and all the rest of that
stuff.
But it's not about look at me,I'm fucking awesome and look why
I've done all the prestigestuff.
That's a component of it, butvery far down the road, it's not
.
I look what I've done.
All the prestige stuff.
That's a component of it, butvery far down the road, it's not
.
I look what I've done.
I had a meeting, two meetingsyesterday with some people and
(19:26):
yeah, they were both the samenames and that they contacted me
through a referral of mine andthey said I've heard all about
you, don't know what we'remeeting.
They said tell me what you,what you do.
I said, no, I want to learnabout you.
And then, at the very end, Isaid I think I can help you do X
, y and Z.
Would you be open to a callabout that, to learn about what
(19:50):
I, the results of what I do.
Phil Herrington (19:53):
Yeah, so I want to.
That's the most brilliant thing.
I teach that all the time you,even though the other person
said, hey, what do you do?
(20:13):
You turned it around, allowedthem to go first.
So first let them.
When you first get on a call oryou get into a about how to
position yourself but in whatnetwork they have, and things
like that.
But also they're all ears whenyou go to talk.
So you always let them go first, no matter what, even insist on
it.
And then the way I do it is Isay, hey, I want to listen to
your story so I can figure outpeople to connect you to.
(20:36):
Yeah, and so then they go, okay, they're all good, they tell me
.
And then I, like you did, hey,let's do another call where I
tell you what I do.
Baz Porter (20:44):
And now they come to that call expecting the other
thing I say with it, and this isfor the person watching this
going oh my God, how do you dothat?
I want to be respectful of yourtime.
Yes, that's so beautiful love itand I learned that I can't
remember where I learned itanyway because what it does is
position their status not aboveyou.
(21:06):
But oh, this guy respects me,my time.
Yes, the value of it, exchange.
So you were talking about thereearlier on about the law of
reciprocity.
You go and then it's received,but when you come back into it
they're qualified again to thatnext level because this they've
turned up, they're willing toyep, give and listen.
(21:29):
When you go into it, there'sanother level of right.
This is, this is anotherqualified person, and it's gone
from cold to lukewarm by the endof that call.
If you're good enough and youknow what you're talking about
and you can bridge the gap, thenit becomes a client.
Yes, yes I agree, you're theexpert.
(21:50):
I'm not a salesperson, not amarketer.
That isn't me.
I've had to learn it all.
But what you're speaking aboutnow is gold for these new
entrepreneurs coming in going.
I don't know what to do andI've been told listen, listen
from here, and I've got to sellover here and I've got to do all
my social media stuff andthey've got to wear all these
hats.
Phil Herrington (22:10):
You're saying don't wear all the hats, just
connect with the right people,connect with the right people
and educate.
And if I was them, even yourfirst six months to a year, I
wouldn't even worry about socialmedia.
You got to build a grassrootsfollowing, right, and the way
you do that is through people.
And so you got to go out.
(22:31):
You don't even know who you areright now, especially if you're
a new business.
We've completely transformed towhat our model is.
We thought we were a networkinggroup at the beginning.
We are not, but I had.
It took me almost a year tofigure that out by doing it.
And so just go meet the people,just educate, listen to them,
because they're going to dropbombs on you that are like
(22:52):
they're five years down the roadin their business.
You're like that's amazing, I'mgoing to go that direction.
And then you start to formulatewhat you do.
So I always say marketing andnothing against any marketing
people out there, but marketingis more like phase two, right,
once you know your voice and ifyou can speed that process up,
great.
If you have the money, you canpay somebody to get you branded,
(23:13):
but you may not even know whoyou are and who you want to
serve right now.
So just go practice by meetingpeople, and if you meet the
right people, they'll get youinto their network, because
people want to teach, right.
What we're really playing onwhen we ask for introductions is
people's ego, right, becauseI'm saying, hey, do you know
somebody that does blank?
And you're like, heck, yeah, Ido.
And then they go fill out myform, right, and so it's just.
(23:36):
People want to be that savior,that hero, right, and they're
more than happy to be a hero toyou and allow you to spit on
them everything that you'redoing, so you can start to
formulate what it is that you do.
I love it.
Baz Porter (23:50):
Yeah, it's great, phil, we're going to end with
part one.
If there's anything, you couldadvise your client, ideal person
now what to do within this rutof oh my God, I'm not going to
sales, I can't do this, I'mgoing to go back and be a job 9
to 5.
What was that first thing youhad to say to them?
What do I have to do?
I know, come to your network,but what is it?
Phil Herrington (24:11):
Yeah, no, I'm not doing this.
If you have no money, 75% ofyour calendar should be done
with one-to-ones.
Once you start paying the bills, then 50% and once you've
reached your higher level, 25%.
But never let networking go,because you never know who
you're going to meet.
Baz Porter (24:29):
Awesome.
I love that advice.
Thank you very much forlistening.
Share this message, get onPhil's calendar or into the
network.
The links are below.
Phil, I'll see you on part twomy audience.
Thank you very much forlistening.
This is amazing.
This exists because of you, soplease share the message and
inspire somebody today.
Have an amazing day on purpose,and I'll see you on part two
(24:50):
with phil.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.