May 4, 2025 • 38 mins
Carl O’Neil’s Comeback from Chronic Pain, Faith Crisis, and Legal Hell
One moment changed his life. The system tried to break him. Faith helped him rise.
In this deeply moving episode of Rise From The Ashes, Baz Porter sits down with Carl O’Neil, a former exercise trainer whose heroic act in the workplace turned into a personal hell of chronic pain, legal warfare, and spiritual collapse. But Carl didn’t stay broken he rebuilt from the inside out.
From battling a failed workers' comp system to navigating deep emotional wounds, Carl shares how his lowest point became the launching pad for spiritual awakening, personal leadership, and radical self-mastery.
🔥 What you’ll take away:
- The mental toll of chronic pain and how Carl took his power back
- How the legal and healthcare systems failed him (and how he fought through)
- The role of spirituality and faith in his recovery
- Insights from his book Eight Lives to Change a Lightbulb
- Leadership lessons forged through personal breakdown
Carl's story is a roadmap for anyone facing pressure, pain, or powerful transitions. If you’ve ever felt unseen, unheard, or stuck in a system designed to keep you down this episode is your firestarter.
If Carl’s story lit something inside you buy me a coffee for $3. It’s not about caffeine. It’s about keeping this mission burning.
☕ Support here → https://www.buzzsprout.com/2217291/support
Colorado’s best business coach, Baz Porter, has a new mindset strategy mentoring service to help you unlock new heights of growth, prosperity, happiness, and success. Book your first meeting with the coaching visionary at https://www.ramsbybaz.com/
Friends, as we wrap up today’s powerful conversation, hear me loud and clear: I’m grateful for you. You’ve chosen greatness over settling, clarity over chaos, and brilliance over burnout. Remember Great CEOs deserve NO burnout.
Did this hit home? Pass it on. Your share could be the spark someone desperately needs. Together, we’re rewriting the rules of leadership, one bold conversation at a time.
I want to hear YOUR story your wins, your struggles, your breakthroughs. My door is wide open whether you’re in Boulder or reaching out at support@ramsbybaz.com, I'm here.
Here is a gift For you Click Here
Are you ready to drop confusion, claim clarity, and step powerfully into purpose?
Let’s connect. Book a coaching session today and experience firsthand how the RAMS framework amplifies results, shatters limits, and creates lasting legacies.
This is Baz Porter, in your corner, fiercely committed to your brilliance. Keep rising, stay unstoppable, and know you’re never alone in this climb.
Until next time rise boldly.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Ladies and gentlemen, good day.
I'm your host, Baz Porter, andthis is Rise from the Ashes
podcast.
My next guest is Carl O'Neill.
Carl, what do you do and tellthe people who you?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
are.
I'm a dining attendant at asenior living facility.
I break down breakfast and setup for lunch.
I break down breakfast and setup for lunch.
I work there four days a week,three hours a day.
Because I have an injury in mylow back and partial feeling in
my right leg.
I can't work eight hours on myfeet all day.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
There was a story how you got here, wasn't there,
carl.
I'm interested because we metthrough strange circumstances.
My wife, nicola met you in ataxi.
Can you explain how that hastranspired In?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
2016,.
I was working as an exercisetrainer at a physical therapy
hospital for 10 years.
In that 10th year, in November,I was working with one of the
patients on one of the cardiomachines.
He started to fall off themachine.
I dropped, everything wentunder him and he came down on my
(01:09):
hands, which I had over my headand my body was in a bent
position, and so at that timehe's dead weight.
At the time I'm a strong guyI'm 45, but I'm strong and this
guy was dead weight.
As he was coming down.
He was trying to get off themachine by himself.
I was telling him to wait forme to help while he's impacting.
While coming down, I'm tryingto push up.
(01:31):
I felt two jolts in my legs.
I knew something was wrong.
I got him off the machinesafely.
I noticed something was wrong.
I couldn't move it.
As well as a moment ago, I wentto tell my coworker and then my
manager.
They sent me to a workers' compdoctor.
The doctor gave me some pills,told me I probably had a bowel
obstruction, which I thought wasstupid.
(01:52):
But at the time I'm thinkingokay, you know what I'll just
I'll bounce back anyway.
Tomorrow I'll be better.
He gave me pain pills.
I went to work the next day.
After about four hours Inoticed I couldn't walk that
well.
In fact, every time I walk itfelt like somebody was stabbing
my low back and I was in thatmuch pain and I've never been in
(02:12):
that much pain in my life.
I didn't know what was going on.
My wife was there.
She was telling me that justtake it easy and everything, and
if I need to go home, talk tomy manager.
I talked to my manager.
After I ran to the restroombecause I was sweating a lot, I
finally broke down.
I had never broken down likethat before.
I was hurting so much and Icould barely move normal, and so
(02:36):
finally he told me to go aheadand get some rest.
I went home that day and calledthe workers' comp clinic, me
the runaround.
They told me that basically,doctor was busy, you don't have
to see me later, because when hesaw me the first time he told
me that basically he'll check onme in one week, after one day.
I needed to see him and hewouldn't see me.
(02:58):
And so finally they, afterabout 40 minutes of being on
hold, he told me, or they toldme the doctors couldn't see me
until a week later and I feltlike I was just lost Because for
me a doctor's supposed to see,but I never dealt with workers'
comp doctors before.
I had no idea.
(03:18):
A friend recommended a workers'comp lawyer.
She was really good.
She told me everything toexpect from the workers' comp
doctors and took my case andthen she told me that basically
she had told them that I was notgoing to be working at that
point until I knew what wasgoing on with me.
The doctor basically claimedthat I'm just having some back
(03:38):
pain.
It really annoyed me.
She told me after he gets hisreport on me after six weeks she
would fire him and recommendanother workers' comp doctor,
mainly because the doctor I wasseeing didn't let me have an MRI
because of the workers' comppolitics.
(03:58):
When I saw the new doctor, herecommended an MRI for the MRI,
so that three of my discs weredamaged, they were compressed
and that's what was going on.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
So you compressed your lower back.
Yes, what happened next?
You've got an attorney.
Now you still have pain thathasn't been resolved.
What happened after that?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I should have had surgery right then and there,
and that was 17.
Probably about four monthslater I should have had surgery
and they didn't give me surgeryat all.
They cut me off from treatments.
My attorney was fighting forthat.
They finally got me back on thetreatments.
They were doing everything tomake me look like I was faking
it.
I was highly stressed, and notjust because of that.
The company I worked for.
(04:39):
My wife worked for the samecompany and they were
retaliating on her.
My wife worked for the samecompany and they were
retaliating on her.
We decided to move to Idahowhere our daughter and her
family was, and just to get afresh start, but still going
through this workers' company.
(05:01):
When I moved here about two daysafter, I got a letter from the
agreed medical examiner in SantaBarbara that they wanted me to
start working again, but mydoctor in Fresno said you're not
going to be working again.
It was a conflict.
They cut me off from treatmentsfor almost a year.
I had nerve damage.
Now my right leg is no longerhaving any feeling and I can't
get any treatment.
(05:22):
It would affect this case and Iwas getting depressed, getting
frustrated with everything.
Finally, I had surgery in 2018.
The medical examiner in SantaBarbara told me the damage to my
back was so bad that I wouldn'tbe able to walk normal again,
(05:42):
and that really hit me hard.
I was depressed and ready togive up.
That was in the morning At theairport.
The plane got delayed again andagain.
I'm sitting at the airport andmy back is still recovering, and
I was depressed.
But I met a friend named Nicola.
I told her everything and shemade me feel like there was hope
(06:06):
.
We took a cab ride to LAtogether because our planes were
delayed.
We took a cab ride there andjust talked the whole way and
became good friends.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
When I heard your story, carl, and Nicola was
explaining this to me I had toget you as a guest.
I think I don't think I knowyour story and that the journey
you have been, through multiplelayers of that is so inspiring.
The message is don't give upthe depression, mental health,
(06:44):
rediscovering who you are, theseelements, your resilience to
adverse situations that mostpeople would have gone.
I'm checking out, I'm done.
Yep, you had something uniqueabout yourself.
Not only you had a loving wife,you had a couple of friends
(07:06):
around you, nicola included.
I didn't know you back then, soI didn't have that experience
or privilege.
But what you're speaking intonow, carl, is something that is
lacking in a lot of worlds theentrepreneurial world, the
neglect in the medical world andthe medical field.
Now, I know doctors and andmedical staff out there do
(07:27):
fantastic jobs, but equally,there are some that do not.
I'm not going to go into thatbecause of the ethics of it and
I don't want to get sued.
It's that simple.
But the idea of you coming outin and asking for help with
these people the people thatshould have been helping you and
(07:48):
solving your problemessentially were not.
You were being discarded,correct?
That's unacceptable.
Luckily, you worked through it.
You had justice At some point,speaking to Nicola, what was the
journey afterwards?
You were writing a book.
You, you've done, yes, a lot ofwork and you've done a lot of
(08:09):
rehab as well.
Yes, you touch on that subjectbecause people out there who
have had similar injuries may begoing through something just
like you were a few years agowhen I met, met Nicola, even
after surgery and the news fromthe doctor about not getting
better, I was suicidal.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I had never been like that before.
I heard of people who had gonethrough adversity like that and
they killed themselves, but Inever thought I would actually
think that and I began tounderstand.
Part of it was the pain, butalso you see how people really
(08:52):
are and how they treat you likea criminal, like you've done
something wrong and I didn't doanything wrong.
I was the victim.
And yet here I am, beingtreated like a criminal, not
just for a few months, butalmost three years.
Every day you have people'ssurveillance.
If you saw him at a store oroutside your house, you felt
like a prisoner but played mindgames with me.
But the one thing that held metogether was my belief in God.
(09:15):
If I hadn't had that, I wouldhave given up a long time ago,
aside from supporting my family.
But that foundation is whatkept me going.
When I was trying to find adoctor to work with me in Idaho,
nobody would take my casebecause it was an out-of-state
worker's case.
I spent months looking for adoctor until finally I broke
(09:37):
down in front of my house intears, asking God, please help
me, because right now I havenothing.
I don't know what to askanymore.
This is a test.
If I failed, I'm me, becauseright now I have nothing, I
don't know what to ask anymore.
This is a test.
If I failed, I'm sorry.
Please help me.
A few weeks later, I get a callfrom a nurse practitioner
telling me there's a doctor intown that could work on me.
He was the best doctor in Idaho.
(09:58):
I was on cloud nine.
Thanking God, this man got mewalking again.
I'm not 100%, but I'm not whereI was before.
That spiritual journey, evenbefore the injury, is something
I struggle with.
The injury was in 2016, but myspiritual journey began in 2011.
(10:22):
At that place, I was working atthe hospital, I had gotten
employee of the month, and so Iwas on cloud nine, but I felt
empty and my schedule wastuesday through saturday.
So saturdays I looked forwardto because it was just me no
managers, no other co-workers,no and so I ran the place myself
, and so when we had downtime, Iwould write fan fiction just
(10:46):
for fun, and at the time, Ididn't feel like I had a passion
.
So, spiritually, I was actuallyempty at that time, and my wife
may have worked at the hospitaltoo, but she teaches dance to
her passion.
To this day, I didn't have apassion, so I was frustrated and
jealous of my wife's passion.
Angry, bitter, you name it.
(11:08):
At that time I was trying to getcloser to God, but then that's
when I started to have dreams ofdemonic attacks.
Okay, and this lasted from 2012to 2014.
It was horrifying because I'dnever had night terrors before
in my entire life and a lot ofthose dreams, or attacks, were
(11:33):
recurring Dreams of fallingasleep, for example, and I would
see the bed.
I would see part of my body asI fell asleep, but then, all of
a sudden, a dark figure wouldrun in the room and it would be
dark in the room, but I wouldsee this shadow come to my feet,
grab me off the bed and drag methrough the air and I would
wake up in a cold sweat.
(11:53):
That dream happened so manytimes.
I was actually scared to fallasleep and I thought I was going
crazy at first, but I didn'tconnect.
That Part of it was because Iwas bitter, angry, in a dark
place in my head, but at thesame time, I turned my back on
(12:15):
God.
At that point.
I didn't realize I had donethat at first because I was
angry at God.
When I turned my back on him,he allowed me to go through this
, but he was always there.
In some of those dreams, ademon would be in the form of a
man, but I couldn't see his face.
It would be blurred.
He would be calling for me, butsomething would tell me don't
go towards him, stay away fromhim.
I would do exactly what thevoice said.
(12:36):
This lasted for maybe two yearsand my wife noticed something
was wrong with me.
I didn't really talk about it,I looked, I was not shaving much
, I was just not myself andpeople knew it.
I tried to play it off like thesame old Carl, but it wasn't
until my final night.
(12:56):
Demonic terror or whatever youwant to call it.
Demon took the form of my wifein the dream and tried to seduce
me and knew something was wrongand I rejected it.
And it attacked me and we werewrestling on the ground.
It was trying to rape me.
In my dream I woke up andjumped out of bed.
(13:17):
My wife was sleeping.
I jumped out of bed to get mybearings and my surroundings and
I was angry.
This is the first time I wasn'tscared.
I was actually angry.
This is three o'clock in themorning, so I went out in the
living room and I'm talking toGod.
Look, here's the deal.
This is happening too much.
I don't want to go through thisanymore.
It's affecting me, myrelationship with my wife, how I
(13:42):
treat my family.
I don't want to go through thisanymore.
While I was at work on my break,I researched demonic attacks
and found out that the thingsthat I had been going through
were real.
I had no clue at the timebecause it never occurred to me
to look it up.
Things like a buzzing sound asI'm getting dragged, as I'm
getting pulled down, covered ina black mask, or like a tar, and
it would grab me and suffocateme and I would actually feel
(14:04):
like I'm being suckedunderground.
I always wake up at that point,calling Jesus, and I wake up
scared to fall asleep.
But at that point I researchedhow to say prayers to get rid of
demonic attacks.
So I went home that day, didn'tgo to the gym, didn't eat after
work, I went straight home intomy bedroom.
At the top of my lungs Iliterally was saying this prayer
(14:28):
out loud, with authority.
Like I said I had to do.
It took about 10 minutes and Iwas drained.
At that point it felt like agreat weight lifted off my back,
like whatever was attacking mewas gone.
I got on my knees, startedcrying and told God I'll do
anything you want me to do atthis point, just don't let him
(14:48):
come back.
That night I slept great I slept.
It was the first time in twoyears that I actually slept
normal, and so I had thisepiphany.
I think it's from God.
I thought, okay, I'll write abook.
Right, I like writing.
I realized that was a passionand so I started to.
I started off with thechildren's book because I like
to draw, also cartoons.
(15:09):
After a few weeks, somethingkept telling me I need to write
down what I experienced aspiritual book.
I was like I don't want towrite a spiritual book.
I don't know nothing about that.
I've researched near-deathexperiences and stuff.
I mean, I was fascinated bythem, but I don't know nothing
about that.
I'm going to stick with thisbook and do what I want to do.
(15:30):
I hadn't gotten to the point yetand then, in my opinion, this
correlates to the point where Igot injured, but I felt like I
don't have time to write a book.
So I decided to back off andsomeone kept telling me you need
to write the book.
You need to move.
I got too much stuff to do.
(15:50):
I just don't have time.
When I got injured I realizedGod didn't injure me.
But when he told you to move,he means move.
I could sit down for less thanfive minutes, any more than I
was in pain.
Any more than five minutes ofstanding I was in pain.
I had to lie down.
A lot I couldn't even work out.
That's when I realized I needto start writing this book.
(16:11):
I talked to a friend in Monterey, a good friend of me and my
wife's.
We talked for hours and shetold me you need to write this
book.
It's God's telling you to writeit.
You write it.
I got the message write thebook.
When I had the opportunity towrite, I didn't do it.
But now that I lost the abilityto sit for long periods, I
couldn't do it, except for shortperiods.
(16:31):
So I could write a little bitand I had to stop.
So now I want to do it.
But I couldn't do it now, andso, after the surgery was over
and I got a little bit better.
I was able to sit for longerand I started writing, but I
didn't know what to put down.
And God said write down whatyou experienced In the book.
(16:52):
That's mainly chapter four.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
What I love about you , carl, because you've covered
so much between redefining rockbottom, understanding a deeper
meaning within life.
Spirituality isn't just beingreligious.
I relate to some of theseexperiences through my own
journey with demonic attack.
Understanding the higher power,rediscovering yourself, the
(17:17):
loss of belief.
Understanding the higher power,rediscovering yourself, the
loss of belief.
This isn't just your journey.
What you're speaking into now,carl, is something much bigger
than anybody can imagine,including myself.
I can't walk your journey.
I'm not who you are and I don'twish to, but this is why this
(17:37):
podcast exists to share stories,and not just any stories.
These stories can resonate withothers.
Spirituality the concept ofwriting books from children's
book into transmission of whichis what we call channeling art
(18:01):
in a book is an art form.
But you didn't listen the firsttime.
There's an old saying if you'renot listening, the music gets
turned up and source God,whatever power you believe in,
has a unique way of turning upthe message until you listen.
(18:22):
Yes, it isn't usually pleasantand it's quite painful.
Lessons aren't taughteffectively out of gentle
pushing.
It's usually called a spiritualtwo by four or, in my case, an
eight by 16, because I don'tlisten.
(18:42):
What you're speaking into now isthe myth.
You're not just someone that'scome out and written a book.
This is a message of hope,resilience and redefining
aspects of who you are.
At core level, you found faithagain within yourself.
That is powerful, especiallywhen you've lost it completely.
(19:05):
And you lose everything youhold dear and on top of that,
you lose the ability to function.
I can't probably every time youdo, you're in pain, etc.
But what you've done is turn itinto elevating others through a
message.
At what point did you say toyourself enough, I have to do
(19:30):
this.
What was that transition likefor you?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
that actually is the work of another dream or vision
I had.
I had already seen the darkside.
I see what happens when I turnmy back on God, because there's
a difference between believingin God and believing in the idea
of God, and at that time I wasbelieving in the idea of God,
but not really believing andhaving that relationship.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Can you just touch on the definition and the
difference between the idea ofGod and actual belief?
Speaker 2 (20:02):
For me, the idea of God is when someone tells you
God is real, but you believe itbecause they told real, but God
is distant.
And maybe he's real, maybe he'snot, but he's distant, he's far
away.
Whatever you're going through,god may understand it, but this
is your life way.
Whatever you're going through,god may understand it, but this
is your life.
For me now, having arelationship with God means God
(20:27):
is not just in my heart but nextto me, and so I actually take
time to not just pray but toactually spend time with God,
telling Him this is how my daywent and everything.
And I really believe that hereally does exist and everything
.
And I really believe that hereally does exist.
And without him, if I turn myback to him, he'll still be
there with me.
My back might be turned to him,but he'll still be with me.
If I turn from him, I see allthe garbage out there.
(20:51):
If I turn to him, he protectsme.
I have a very close relationshipwith him, so much that when I
was going through that darkperiod, he allowed me to have a
dream where I saw my mom, my dad, my wife's mother and my wife's
older sister, who passed away.
(21:12):
I found it profound is when Iwas talking with them.
I was so happy to see them, butI couldn't touch them because I
was separated from them.
And they were in this beautifulforest of land.
I love land, I love greenery,trees.
I was separated from them.
I was talking to my wife'smother, pat, who passed away
before I even met my wife.
(21:34):
But ironically, I've met Patbefore, but I just didn't know
that there was a correlationbetween the two.
And Pat gave me a message forStacey.
When I woke up, I felt like mybody dropped into bed.
I started crying.
I pulled the sheets over myhead.
Stacey was actually sitting upin bed and she can tell you this
(21:55):
too.
She was sitting up in bedasking me while I was crying.
I told her I got a message fromyour mom.
I dreamed I saw your mom andthis was the message that she
turned to me and she almoststarted crying herself.
I said what's wrong?
She was.
I was just thinking about mymom, wondering if she was in
heaven, and I said the time wewere married and even before we
met, she's always wonderedwhether her mom was in heaven or
(22:19):
not or whether she died.
And there was just nothing.
And I reassured her that, yeah,there's a heaven and I just saw
it.
And the truth is I want to goback, but I knew I couldn't go
back, even though I tried tohave that dream again and that
feeling because I felt like Iwas was so spiritually touched
(22:39):
that I saw the beauty of what Ibelieve was a spirit world
instead of the dark side of it.
And it happened again recentlylast year when I had a heart
attack.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
You had a heart attack last year.
And then there's something elseadded on top of it.
Yes, wtf, wtf.
They say, things come becausewe have to experience them for
some reason we're not fullyaware of.
(23:14):
But you've been through hell,bruv, yep.
Then that's stacked on top ofthat.
How did your relationship, notjust with the god faith, but
with yourself and your wife, howwas that bond?
Was it strengthened, not againwhat happened?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
um it, it was strengthened until the heart
attack still strong right now.
You know I'm a big guy.
When stress hits me, it hits me.
They say when you're.
You know, when you'reoverstressed, your heart can't
take it.
I ended up collapsing.
When I hit the floor, I had oneof those visions again.
I was laying down, feltcomfortable like a baby.
I didn't want to move and Ididn't want to get up and I
(23:58):
didn't.
Figures early, white silhouettefigures all around me.
I felt safe.
Then I saw this man come up tome.
I swear he was Jesus, but Icannot be sure.
I've seen pictures of Jesus.
But this man was different,very handsome.
He told me I had to come back.
It wasn't my time yet.
I told him what happens if Idon't come back.
This is where it got real forme.
(24:19):
He showed me everything, frommy wife to my children, to my
grandchildren, what their liveswould have been like if I died
that day.
The whole thing shook me up.
I I told him I'll go back.
He disappears.
Then my son's face is over me,asking me am I all right?
(24:41):
Am I right?
And at the time I wasdisorientated and I kept asking
him is the lawnmower still inthe front yard.
He was asking what I go thelawnmower.
I was cutting the yard.
Can you make sure the lawnmowerwas pulled in?
I kept saying it over and over.
Stacey asked me if I was allright.
I said yeah, my chest waskilling me.
I grabbed my chest and hit theground.
I don't remember anything.
(25:01):
I came in the house, tried tosit and I'm now waking up on the
floor and she told me you neversat Because as they were coming
back in the house, as I wassitting down, I never sat down.
I hit the floor and they calledthe EMTs and everything.
I had to go to the hospital fora couple of days.
During that time I didn'trealize what was happening, but
I knew I can't leave my wife andmy family and I didn't know why
(25:24):
I was bent on.
After everything I've beenthrough, I'm not going anywhere
right now.
I have a book to publish.
People need that.
The purpose of the book isn'tmoney.
It's about bringing peoplecloser to God.
I want to bring as many peoplewith me to God as possible.
I'm a loving person.
Even you can take the worstperson in the world, but God
didn't create that person likethat.
God created us all to be lovingpeople, but the world makes us
(25:50):
how we are.
We just have to choose from theinside where God is, if we want
to practice his fruits or do wewant to practice the fruits of
the world.
And I choose to practice God'sfruits as best I can.
(26:11):
But after that I realized, ifI'm going to die, let it be when
I'm supposed to, not whensomething stresses me out or
whether I eat something that I'mnot supposed to eat or whatever
.
Take care of myself.
I still exercise, by the way,but take care of myself, because
I have a whole lot of familythat apparently depends on me a
lot more than I thought, becausesomewhere in my mind I kept
thinking, if I die, they'll getalong with me just fine.
Whole lot of family thatapparently depends on me a lot
more than I thought, becausesomewhere in my mind I kept
thinking, if I die, they'll getalong with, I'll be just fine,
or apparently I was wrong.
(26:32):
God showed me I was wrong.
We, we need each other, whetherit's family or friends.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
We're all interconnected to each other
spiritually and I love thismessage, carl, and it's very I
find it very inspiring.
You actually touched me.
I don't get moved very oftenfor various reasons.
I'm a different soul, but whenyou're speaking, there's
something about your message.
(26:57):
It doesn't just move you on aphysical or mental level, it
moves you on a much deeper level.
And when I speak aboutresilience with people and then
I asked this sort of questionwith resilience, what do you
want to be your legacy?
What do you want to beremembered for and how would, if
(27:22):
someone your grandchildren wasgoing to go, do you remember,
carl?
What's the first thing that'sgoing to come to their mind?
Speaker 2 (27:33):
I would like for them to remember that I was loving
and that I was giving.
That's something I do with.
I try to do with my children,for example, like each week or
week or two or whatever.
I try to go out and I'll buythem something that they like,
for example, like food orsomething right.
Like one of my daughters, I'llbuy a sushi, another one.
I might buy a Starbucks Anotherone, I might buy a teriyaki
(27:58):
bowl or something like that,things like that and I made it a
tradition for myself becausefor me, this is me giving to
them and letting them know thatI love them, and I want all of
them to know that I love them,regardless of what the world may
throw at them or how stressedout they are.
I want them to know that when Idie, that there are no regrets.
(28:19):
I want them to know that I lovethem.
I'm a loving person and I wantto give them the best love that
I can, as God made me to be, andthat's with family.
Sometimes, let's face it, theworld gets in the way, but I try
to bypass that as best I can,and it's frustrating sometimes,
(28:40):
because sometimes you getpushback, but I wish that
sometimes others could see theworld how I see it.
Sometimes I see it like aCharlie Brown cartoon.
I know it sounds silly to sayit like that, but because I love
peanuts so much peanuts theworld can be chaotic, but it's
(29:03):
all about just being happy,trying to find the things that
make you feel good and givingthat love to others and
hopefully get back to you andjust down, taking the time to
enjoy each other.
That's what I want them toremember me by, and so Better
Late Than Never as far as I'mconcerned.
I had to go through all this tobe the person I am now.
(29:24):
And hey, Better Late Than Never.
God's got a plan for all of us,and I'm on his plan, not my own
.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
What's the book called?
Because I'm going to leave thelinks below.
I really encourage people to goand get the book, read it,
study it, go back into thepodcast as well and take notes
from this, because these arereal life experiences and they
and these are people who are.
Carl isn't a person that hasn'tjust walked the walk, he talks
(29:51):
a talk, so really take note ofwhat the valuable information he
has here.
So what's the book called?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
called carl, okay the book is called eight lives to
change a light.
Basically, what it's about is aspirit from heaven who comes to
earth in the form of differenthuman beings eight specific
lives.
That teaches him his heavenlygifts and he makes mistakes
(30:22):
along the way, like we all do ashumans, but in each
reincarnation he learnssomething along the way and then
eventually reaches his gift towhat his true godly purpose is.
And then what the book's aboutthe struggles that he goes
through to get there.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
See, I think what this reiterates for myself and I
know for a lot of people, that,no matter how hard things get,
carl, I never give up.
Exactly Wherever we findinspiration from inspiration
meaning within yourself, withinyour soul.
That's where inspiration comesfrom.
(31:01):
And also to change identity,identity, the broken down
meaning from the latin is toreinvent oneself, and there's a
whole thing I know about howwords work and what their
meanings are.
Anyway, the more you speak intodivinity, faith that you've
(31:26):
learned, the message you have isso powerful.
This is why I wanted to havethis conversation with you.
Thank you, and this message Iknow because I just do that
message needs to be heard by theright people.
Yes, I'm going to endeavor tomake that happen for you as much
(31:50):
as I can.
I will push this into the rightareas to help you get this
message out to support otherpeople.
I appreciate that.
I want to thank you for yourtime today, carl.
If you've got any passing words, have you anything to add?
I'd love to hear it.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
May I ask God and this applies to everybody some
people might look at me when Ispeak with God and look at me as
though I'm strange, becausewhen I speak to God, sometimes
I'll move my Because when Ispeak to God, sometimes I'll
move my lips when I'm having aconversation with him, and it
(32:38):
might be similar to when a childis having a conversation with
an imaginary friend.
As an adult, people might lookat that as being strange.
For me, it's not.
It is okay to have aconversation with God out loud
if you need to, because God isreal and if you truly have a
relationship with God, then itdoesn't matter what other people
are thinking.
If you want to have a deepconversation with God out in the
opening or by yourself in aroom and talk talk out loud or
(33:01):
whatever that's okay, becausethat's how confident I am with
my relationship with God and Ihope that people see this and it
lures them to want to have aclose relationship with God and
to get to know Him, because hewill reveal Himself to you.
It's more than just religion.
You know what I'm saying.
(33:21):
It's beyond that.
You take away the churches, youtake away all the scriptures
and just focus on just God alone, he'll come to you.
But when people push God awayor, what's worse, listen to
other people's opinions of God,that's when you start having too
many questions and not enoughfaith into believing that God is
(33:44):
out there for you.
So that's my message to peopleGod is a personal thing.
It's not a group thing.
It's a personal relationshipwith him.
If you want to know God, justask him Straight up.
Just ask him and he'll answeryes, he will.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
I'm much aware of one .
Carl, I want to thank you verymuch for joining me today.
I love these stories.
I'm looking forward to carryingon the conversation, looking
forward to hearing more aboutyour book, seeing people act on
it.
Thank you From all thelisteners, please.
Once again, thank you very muchfor joining us today.
(34:20):
Myself and Carl are alwaysgrateful.
Please share this message andinspire another day From myself,
bass Porter, to my Ashers havea blessed, wonderful day ahead
and remember my purpose.
Inspire legacy.
Ladies and gentlemen, good day.
I'm your host, Baz Porter, andthis is Rise from the Ashes
podcast.
My next guest is Carl O'Neill.
Carl, what do you do and tellthe people who you?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
are.
I'm a dining attendant at asenior living facility.
I break down breakfast and setup for lunch.
I break down breakfast and setup for lunch.
I work there four days a week,three hours a day.
Because I have an injury in mylow back and partial feeling in
my right leg.
I can't work eight hours on myfeet all day.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
There was a story how you got here, wasn't there,
carl.
I'm interested because we metthrough strange circumstances.
My wife, nicola met you in ataxi.
Can you explain how that hastranspired In?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
2016,.
I was working as an exercisetrainer at a physical therapy
hospital for 10 years.
In that 10th year, in November,I was working with one of the
patients on one of the cardiomachines.
He started to fall off themachine.
I dropped, everything wentunder him and he came down on my
(01:09):
hands, which I had over my headand my body was in a bent
position, and so at that timehe's dead weight.
At the time I'm a strong guyI'm 45, but I'm strong and this
guy was dead weight.
As he was coming down.
He was trying to get off themachine by himself.
I was telling him to wait forme to help while he's impacting.
While coming down, I'm tryingto push up.
(01:31):
I felt two jolts in my legs.
I knew something was wrong.
I got him off the machinesafely.
I noticed something was wrong.
I couldn't move it.
As well as a moment ago, I wentto tell my coworker and then my
manager.
They sent me to a workers' compdoctor.
The doctor gave me some pills,told me I probably had a bowel
obstruction, which I thought wasstupid.
(01:52):
But at the time I'm thinkingokay, you know what I'll just
I'll bounce back anyway.
Tomorrow I'll be better.
He gave me pain pills.
I went to work the next day.
After about four hours Inoticed I couldn't walk that
well.
In fact, every time I walk itfelt like somebody was stabbing
my low back and I was in thatmuch pain and I've never been in
(02:12):
that much pain in my life.
I didn't know what was going on.
My wife was there.
She was telling me that justtake it easy and everything, and
if I need to go home, talk tomy manager.
I talked to my manager.
After I ran to the restroombecause I was sweating a lot, I
finally broke down.
I had never broken down likethat before.
I was hurting so much and Icould barely move normal, and so
(02:36):
finally he told me to go aheadand get some rest.
I went home that day and calledthe workers' comp clinic, me
the runaround.
They told me that basically,doctor was busy, you don't have
to see me later, because when hesaw me the first time he told
me that basically he'll check onme in one week, after one day.
I needed to see him and hewouldn't see me.
(02:58):
And so finally they, afterabout 40 minutes of being on
hold, he told me, or they toldme the doctors couldn't see me
until a week later and I feltlike I was just lost Because for
me a doctor's supposed to see,but I never dealt with workers'
comp doctors before.
I had no idea.
(03:18):
A friend recommended a workers'comp lawyer.
She was really good.
She told me everything toexpect from the workers' comp
doctors and took my case andthen she told me that basically
she had told them that I was notgoing to be working at that
point until I knew what wasgoing on with me.
The doctor basically claimedthat I'm just having some back
(03:38):
pain.
It really annoyed me.
She told me after he gets hisreport on me after six weeks she
would fire him and recommendanother workers' comp doctor,
mainly because the doctor I wasseeing didn't let me have an MRI
because of the workers' comppolitics.
(03:58):
When I saw the new doctor, herecommended an MRI for the MRI,
so that three of my discs weredamaged, they were compressed
and that's what was going on.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
So you compressed your lower back.
Yes, what happened next?
You've got an attorney.
Now you still have pain thathasn't been resolved.
What happened after that?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I should have had surgery right then and there,
and that was 17.
Probably about four monthslater I should have had surgery
and they didn't give me surgeryat all.
They cut me off from treatments.
My attorney was fighting forthat.
They finally got me back on thetreatments.
They were doing everything tomake me look like I was faking
it.
I was highly stressed, and notjust because of that.
The company I worked for.
(04:39):
My wife worked for the samecompany and they were
retaliating on her.
My wife worked for the samecompany and they were
retaliating on her.
We decided to move to Idahowhere our daughter and her
family was, and just to get afresh start, but still going
through this workers' company.
(05:01):
When I moved here about two daysafter, I got a letter from the
agreed medical examiner in SantaBarbara that they wanted me to
start working again, but mydoctor in Fresno said you're not
going to be working again.
It was a conflict.
They cut me off from treatmentsfor almost a year.
I had nerve damage.
Now my right leg is no longerhaving any feeling and I can't
get any treatment.
(05:22):
It would affect this case and Iwas getting depressed, getting
frustrated with everything.
Finally, I had surgery in 2018.
The medical examiner in SantaBarbara told me the damage to my
back was so bad that I wouldn'tbe able to walk normal again,
(05:42):
and that really hit me hard.
I was depressed and ready togive up.
That was in the morning At theairport.
The plane got delayed again andagain.
I'm sitting at the airport andmy back is still recovering, and
I was depressed.
But I met a friend named Nicola.
I told her everything and shemade me feel like there was hope
(06:06):
.
We took a cab ride to LAtogether because our planes were
delayed.
We took a cab ride there andjust talked the whole way and
became good friends.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
When I heard your story, carl, and Nicola was
explaining this to me I had toget you as a guest.
I think I don't think I knowyour story and that the journey
you have been, through multiplelayers of that is so inspiring.
The message is don't give upthe depression, mental health,
(06:44):
rediscovering who you are, theseelements, your resilience to
adverse situations that mostpeople would have gone.
I'm checking out, I'm done.
Yep, you had something uniqueabout yourself.
Not only you had a loving wife,you had a couple of friends
(07:06):
around you, nicola included.
I didn't know you back then, soI didn't have that experience
or privilege.
But what you're speaking intonow, carl, is something that is
lacking in a lot of worlds theentrepreneurial world, the
neglect in the medical world andthe medical field.
Now, I know doctors and andmedical staff out there do
(07:27):
fantastic jobs, but equally,there are some that do not.
I'm not going to go into thatbecause of the ethics of it and
I don't want to get sued.
It's that simple.
But the idea of you coming outin and asking for help with
these people the people thatshould have been helping you and
(07:48):
solving your problemessentially were not.
You were being discarded,correct?
That's unacceptable.
Luckily, you worked through it.
You had justice At some point,speaking to Nicola, what was the
journey afterwards?
You were writing a book.
You, you've done, yes, a lot ofwork and you've done a lot of
(08:09):
rehab as well.
Yes, you touch on that subjectbecause people out there who
have had similar injuries may begoing through something just
like you were a few years agowhen I met, met Nicola, even
after surgery and the news fromthe doctor about not getting
better, I was suicidal.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I had never been like that before.
I heard of people who had gonethrough adversity like that and
they killed themselves, but Inever thought I would actually
think that and I began tounderstand.
Part of it was the pain, butalso you see how people really
(08:52):
are and how they treat you likea criminal, like you've done
something wrong and I didn't doanything wrong.
I was the victim.
And yet here I am, beingtreated like a criminal, not
just for a few months, butalmost three years.
Every day you have people'ssurveillance.
If you saw him at a store oroutside your house, you felt
like a prisoner but played mindgames with me.
But the one thing that held metogether was my belief in God.
(09:15):
If I hadn't had that, I wouldhave given up a long time ago,
aside from supporting my family.
But that foundation is whatkept me going.
When I was trying to find adoctor to work with me in Idaho,
nobody would take my casebecause it was an out-of-state
worker's case.
I spent months looking for adoctor until finally I broke
(09:37):
down in front of my house intears, asking God, please help
me, because right now I havenothing.
I don't know what to askanymore.
This is a test.
If I failed, I'm me, becauseright now I have nothing, I
don't know what to ask anymore.
This is a test.
If I failed, I'm sorry.
Please help me.
A few weeks later, I get a callfrom a nurse practitioner
telling me there's a doctor intown that could work on me.
He was the best doctor in Idaho.
(09:58):
I was on cloud nine.
Thanking God, this man got mewalking again.
I'm not 100%, but I'm not whereI was before.
That spiritual journey, evenbefore the injury, is something
I struggle with.
The injury was in 2016, but myspiritual journey began in 2011.
(10:22):
At that place, I was working atthe hospital, I had gotten
employee of the month, and so Iwas on cloud nine, but I felt
empty and my schedule wastuesday through saturday.
So saturdays I looked forwardto because it was just me no
managers, no other co-workers,no and so I ran the place myself
, and so when we had downtime, Iwould write fan fiction just
(10:46):
for fun, and at the time, Ididn't feel like I had a passion
.
So, spiritually, I was actuallyempty at that time, and my wife
may have worked at the hospitaltoo, but she teaches dance to
her passion.
To this day, I didn't have apassion, so I was frustrated and
jealous of my wife's passion.
Angry, bitter, you name it.
(11:08):
At that time I was trying to getcloser to God, but then that's
when I started to have dreams ofdemonic attacks.
Okay, and this lasted from 2012to 2014.
It was horrifying because I'dnever had night terrors before
in my entire life and a lot ofthose dreams, or attacks, were
(11:33):
recurring Dreams of fallingasleep, for example, and I would
see the bed.
I would see part of my body asI fell asleep, but then, all of
a sudden, a dark figure wouldrun in the room and it would be
dark in the room, but I wouldsee this shadow come to my feet,
grab me off the bed and drag methrough the air and I would
wake up in a cold sweat.
(11:53):
That dream happened so manytimes.
I was actually scared to fallasleep and I thought I was going
crazy at first, but I didn'tconnect.
That Part of it was because Iwas bitter, angry, in a dark
place in my head, but at thesame time, I turned my back on
(12:15):
God.
At that point.
I didn't realize I had donethat at first because I was
angry at God.
When I turned my back on him,he allowed me to go through this
, but he was always there.
In some of those dreams, ademon would be in the form of a
man, but I couldn't see his face.
It would be blurred.
He would be calling for me, butsomething would tell me don't
go towards him, stay away fromhim.
I would do exactly what thevoice said.
(12:36):
This lasted for maybe two yearsand my wife noticed something
was wrong with me.
I didn't really talk about it,I looked, I was not shaving much
, I was just not myself andpeople knew it.
I tried to play it off like thesame old Carl, but it wasn't
until my final night.
(12:56):
Demonic terror or whatever youwant to call it.
Demon took the form of my wifein the dream and tried to seduce
me and knew something was wrongand I rejected it.
And it attacked me and we werewrestling on the ground.
It was trying to rape me.
In my dream I woke up andjumped out of bed.
(13:17):
My wife was sleeping.
I jumped out of bed to get mybearings and my surroundings and
I was angry.
This is the first time I wasn'tscared.
I was actually angry.
This is three o'clock in themorning, so I went out in the
living room and I'm talking toGod.
Look, here's the deal.
This is happening too much.
I don't want to go through thisanymore.
It's affecting me, myrelationship with my wife, how I
(13:42):
treat my family.
I don't want to go through thisanymore.
While I was at work on my break,I researched demonic attacks
and found out that the thingsthat I had been going through
were real.
I had no clue at the timebecause it never occurred to me
to look it up.
Things like a buzzing sound asI'm getting dragged, as I'm
getting pulled down, covered ina black mask, or like a tar, and
it would grab me and suffocateme and I would actually feel
(14:04):
like I'm being suckedunderground.
I always wake up at that point,calling Jesus, and I wake up
scared to fall asleep.
But at that point I researchedhow to say prayers to get rid of
demonic attacks.
So I went home that day, didn'tgo to the gym, didn't eat after
work, I went straight home intomy bedroom.
At the top of my lungs Iliterally was saying this prayer
(14:28):
out loud, with authority.
Like I said I had to do.
It took about 10 minutes and Iwas drained.
At that point it felt like agreat weight lifted off my back,
like whatever was attacking mewas gone.
I got on my knees, startedcrying and told God I'll do
anything you want me to do atthis point, just don't let him
(14:48):
come back.
That night I slept great I slept.
It was the first time in twoyears that I actually slept
normal, and so I had thisepiphany.
I think it's from God.
I thought, okay, I'll write abook.
Right, I like writing.
I realized that was a passionand so I started to.
I started off with thechildren's book because I like
to draw, also cartoons.
(15:09):
After a few weeks, somethingkept telling me I need to write
down what I experienced aspiritual book.
I was like I don't want towrite a spiritual book.
I don't know nothing about that.
I've researched near-deathexperiences and stuff.
I mean, I was fascinated bythem, but I don't know nothing
about that.
I'm going to stick with thisbook and do what I want to do.
(15:30):
I hadn't gotten to the point yetand then, in my opinion, this
correlates to the point where Igot injured, but I felt like I
don't have time to write a book.
So I decided to back off andsomeone kept telling me you need
to write the book.
You need to move.
I got too much stuff to do.
(15:50):
I just don't have time.
When I got injured I realizedGod didn't injure me.
But when he told you to move,he means move.
I could sit down for less thanfive minutes, any more than I
was in pain.
Any more than five minutes ofstanding I was in pain.
I had to lie down.
A lot I couldn't even work out.
That's when I realized I needto start writing this book.
(16:11):
I talked to a friend in Monterey, a good friend of me and my
wife's.
We talked for hours and shetold me you need to write this
book.
It's God's telling you to writeit.
You write it.
I got the message write thebook.
When I had the opportunity towrite, I didn't do it.
But now that I lost the abilityto sit for long periods, I
couldn't do it, except for shortperiods.
(16:31):
So I could write a little bitand I had to stop.
So now I want to do it.
But I couldn't do it now, andso, after the surgery was over
and I got a little bit better.
I was able to sit for longerand I started writing, but I
didn't know what to put down.
And God said write down whatyou experienced In the book.
(16:52):
That's mainly chapter four.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
What I love about you , carl, because you've covered
so much between redefining rockbottom, understanding a deeper
meaning within life.
Spirituality isn't just beingreligious.
I relate to some of theseexperiences through my own
journey with demonic attack.
Understanding the higher power,rediscovering yourself, the
(17:17):
loss of belief.
Understanding the higher power,rediscovering yourself, the
loss of belief.
This isn't just your journey.
What you're speaking into now,carl, is something much bigger
than anybody can imagine,including myself.
I can't walk your journey.
I'm not who you are and I don'twish to, but this is why this
(17:37):
podcast exists to share stories,and not just any stories.
These stories can resonate withothers.
Spirituality the concept ofwriting books from children's
book into transmission of whichis what we call channeling art
(18:01):
in a book is an art form.
But you didn't listen the firsttime.
There's an old saying if you'renot listening, the music gets
turned up and source God,whatever power you believe in,
has a unique way of turning upthe message until you listen.
(18:22):
Yes, it isn't usually pleasantand it's quite painful.
Lessons aren't taughteffectively out of gentle
pushing.
It's usually called a spiritualtwo by four or, in my case, an
eight by 16, because I don'tlisten.
(18:42):
What you're speaking into now isthe myth.
You're not just someone that'scome out and written a book.
This is a message of hope,resilience and redefining
aspects of who you are.
At core level, you found faithagain within yourself.
That is powerful, especiallywhen you've lost it completely.
(19:05):
And you lose everything youhold dear and on top of that,
you lose the ability to function.
I can't probably every time youdo, you're in pain, etc.
But what you've done is turn itinto elevating others through a
message.
At what point did you say toyourself enough, I have to do
(19:30):
this.
What was that transition likefor you?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
that actually is the work of another dream or vision
I had.
I had already seen the darkside.
I see what happens when I turnmy back on God, because there's
a difference between believingin God and believing in the idea
of God, and at that time I wasbelieving in the idea of God,
but not really believing andhaving that relationship.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Can you just touch on the definition and the
difference between the idea ofGod and actual belief?
Speaker 2 (20:02):
For me, the idea of God is when someone tells you
God is real, but you believe itbecause they told real, but God
is distant.
And maybe he's real, maybe he'snot, but he's distant, he's far
away.
Whatever you're going through,god may understand it, but this
is your life way.
Whatever you're going through,god may understand it, but this
is your life.
For me now, having arelationship with God means God
(20:27):
is not just in my heart but nextto me, and so I actually take
time to not just pray but toactually spend time with God,
telling Him this is how my daywent and everything.
And I really believe that hereally does exist and everything
.
And I really believe that hereally does exist.
And without him, if I turn myback to him, he'll still be
there with me.
My back might be turned to him,but he'll still be with me.
If I turn from him, I see allthe garbage out there.
(20:51):
If I turn to him, he protectsme.
I have a very close relationshipwith him, so much that when I
was going through that darkperiod, he allowed me to have a
dream where I saw my mom, my dad, my wife's mother and my wife's
older sister, who passed away.
(21:12):
I found it profound is when Iwas talking with them.
I was so happy to see them, butI couldn't touch them because I
was separated from them.
And they were in this beautifulforest of land.
I love land, I love greenery,trees.
I was separated from them.
I was talking to my wife'smother, pat, who passed away
before I even met my wife.
(21:34):
But ironically, I've met Patbefore, but I just didn't know
that there was a correlationbetween the two.
And Pat gave me a message forStacey.
When I woke up, I felt like mybody dropped into bed.
I started crying.
I pulled the sheets over myhead.
Stacey was actually sitting upin bed and she can tell you this
(21:55):
too.
She was sitting up in bedasking me while I was crying.
I told her I got a message fromyour mom.
I dreamed I saw your mom andthis was the message that she
turned to me and she almoststarted crying herself.
I said what's wrong?
She was.
I was just thinking about mymom, wondering if she was in
heaven, and I said the time wewere married and even before we
met, she's always wonderedwhether her mom was in heaven or
(22:19):
not or whether she died.
And there was just nothing.
And I reassured her that, yeah,there's a heaven and I just saw
it.
And the truth is I want to goback, but I knew I couldn't go
back, even though I tried tohave that dream again and that
feeling because I felt like Iwas was so spiritually touched
(22:39):
that I saw the beauty of what Ibelieve was a spirit world
instead of the dark side of it.
And it happened again recentlylast year when I had a heart
attack.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
You had a heart attack last year.
And then there's something elseadded on top of it.
Yes, wtf, wtf.
They say, things come becausewe have to experience them for
some reason we're not fullyaware of.
(23:14):
But you've been through hell,bruv, yep.
Then that's stacked on top ofthat.
How did your relationship, notjust with the god faith, but
with yourself and your wife, howwas that bond?
Was it strengthened, not againwhat happened?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
um it, it was strengthened until the heart
attack still strong right now.
You know I'm a big guy.
When stress hits me, it hits me.
They say when you're.
You know, when you'reoverstressed, your heart can't
take it.
I ended up collapsing.
When I hit the floor, I had oneof those visions again.
I was laying down, feltcomfortable like a baby.
I didn't want to move and Ididn't want to get up and I
(23:58):
didn't.
Figures early, white silhouettefigures all around me.
I felt safe.
Then I saw this man come up tome.
I swear he was Jesus, but Icannot be sure.
I've seen pictures of Jesus.
But this man was different,very handsome.
He told me I had to come back.
It wasn't my time yet.
I told him what happens if Idon't come back.
This is where it got real forme.
(24:19):
He showed me everything, frommy wife to my children, to my
grandchildren, what their liveswould have been like if I died
that day.
The whole thing shook me up.
I I told him I'll go back.
He disappears.
Then my son's face is over me,asking me am I all right?
(24:41):
Am I right?
And at the time I wasdisorientated and I kept asking
him is the lawnmower still inthe front yard.
He was asking what I go thelawnmower.
I was cutting the yard.
Can you make sure the lawnmowerwas pulled in?
I kept saying it over and over.
Stacey asked me if I was allright.
I said yeah, my chest waskilling me.
I grabbed my chest and hit theground.
I don't remember anything.
(25:01):
I came in the house, tried tosit and I'm now waking up on the
floor and she told me you neversat Because as they were coming
back in the house, as I wassitting down, I never sat down.
I hit the floor and they calledthe EMTs and everything.
I had to go to the hospital fora couple of days.
During that time I didn'trealize what was happening, but
I knew I can't leave my wife andmy family and I didn't know why
(25:24):
I was bent on.
After everything I've beenthrough, I'm not going anywhere
right now.
I have a book to publish.
People need that.
The purpose of the book isn'tmoney.
It's about bringing peoplecloser to God.
I want to bring as many peoplewith me to God as possible.
I'm a loving person.
Even you can take the worstperson in the world, but God
didn't create that person likethat.
God created us all to be lovingpeople, but the world makes us
(25:50):
how we are.
We just have to choose from theinside where God is, if we want
to practice his fruits or do wewant to practice the fruits of
the world.
And I choose to practice God'sfruits as best I can.
(26:11):
But after that I realized, ifI'm going to die, let it be when
I'm supposed to, not whensomething stresses me out or
whether I eat something that I'mnot supposed to eat or whatever
.
Take care of myself.
I still exercise, by the way,but take care of myself, because
I have a whole lot of familythat apparently depends on me a
lot more than I thought, becausesomewhere in my mind I kept
thinking, if I die, they'll getalong with me just fine.
Whole lot of family thatapparently depends on me a lot
more than I thought, becausesomewhere in my mind I kept
thinking, if I die, they'll getalong with, I'll be just fine,
or apparently I was wrong.
(26:32):
God showed me I was wrong.
We, we need each other, whetherit's family or friends.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
We're all interconnected to each other
spiritually and I love thismessage, carl, and it's very I
find it very inspiring.
You actually touched me.
I don't get moved very oftenfor various reasons.
I'm a different soul, but whenyou're speaking, there's
something about your message.
(26:57):
It doesn't just move you on aphysical or mental level, it
moves you on a much deeper level.
And when I speak aboutresilience with people and then
I asked this sort of questionwith resilience, what do you
want to be your legacy?
What do you want to beremembered for and how would, if
(27:22):
someone your grandchildren wasgoing to go, do you remember,
carl?
What's the first thing that'sgoing to come to their mind?
Speaker 2 (27:33):
I would like for them to remember that I was loving
and that I was giving.
That's something I do with.
I try to do with my children,for example, like each week or
week or two or whatever.
I try to go out and I'll buythem something that they like,
for example, like food orsomething right.
Like one of my daughters, I'llbuy a sushi, another one.
I might buy a Starbucks Anotherone, I might buy a teriyaki
(27:58):
bowl or something like that,things like that and I made it a
tradition for myself becausefor me, this is me giving to
them and letting them know thatI love them, and I want all of
them to know that I love them,regardless of what the world may
throw at them or how stressedout they are.
I want them to know that when Idie, that there are no regrets.
(28:19):
I want them to know that I lovethem.
I'm a loving person and I wantto give them the best love that
I can, as God made me to be, andthat's with family.
Sometimes, let's face it, theworld gets in the way, but I try
to bypass that as best I can,and it's frustrating sometimes,
(28:40):
because sometimes you getpushback, but I wish that
sometimes others could see theworld how I see it.
Sometimes I see it like aCharlie Brown cartoon.
I know it sounds silly to sayit like that, but because I love
peanuts so much peanuts theworld can be chaotic, but it's
(29:03):
all about just being happy,trying to find the things that
make you feel good and givingthat love to others and
hopefully get back to you andjust down, taking the time to
enjoy each other.
That's what I want them toremember me by, and so Better
Late Than Never as far as I'mconcerned.
I had to go through all this tobe the person I am now.
(29:24):
And hey, Better Late Than Never.
God's got a plan for all of us,and I'm on his plan, not my own
.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
What's the book called?
Because I'm going to leave thelinks below.
I really encourage people to goand get the book, read it,
study it, go back into thepodcast as well and take notes
from this, because these arereal life experiences and they
and these are people who are.
Carl isn't a person that hasn'tjust walked the walk, he talks
(29:51):
a talk, so really take note ofwhat the valuable information he
has here.
So what's the book called?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
called carl, okay the book is called eight lives to
change a light.
Basically, what it's about is aspirit from heaven who comes to
earth in the form of differenthuman beings eight specific
lives.
That teaches him his heavenlygifts and he makes mistakes
(30:22):
along the way, like we all do ashumans, but in each
reincarnation he learnssomething along the way and then
eventually reaches his gift towhat his true godly purpose is.
And then what the book's aboutthe struggles that he goes
through to get there.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
See, I think what this reiterates for myself and I
know for a lot of people, that,no matter how hard things get,
carl, I never give up.
Exactly Wherever we findinspiration from inspiration
meaning within yourself, withinyour soul.
That's where inspiration comesfrom.
(31:01):
And also to change identity,identity, the broken down
meaning from the latin is toreinvent oneself, and there's a
whole thing I know about howwords work and what their
meanings are.
Anyway, the more you speak intodivinity, faith that you've
(31:26):
learned, the message you have isso powerful.
This is why I wanted to havethis conversation with you.
Thank you, and this message Iknow because I just do that
message needs to be heard by theright people.
Yes, I'm going to endeavor tomake that happen for you as much
(31:50):
as I can.
I will push this into the rightareas to help you get this
message out to support otherpeople.
I appreciate that.
I want to thank you for yourtime today, carl.
If you've got any passing words, have you anything to add?
I'd love to hear it.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
May I ask God and this applies to everybody some
people might look at me when Ispeak with God and look at me as
though I'm strange, becausewhen I speak to God, sometimes
I'll move my Because when Ispeak to God, sometimes I'll
move my lips when I'm having aconversation with him, and it
(32:38):
might be similar to when a childis having a conversation with
an imaginary friend.
As an adult, people might lookat that as being strange.
For me, it's not.
It is okay to have aconversation with God out loud
if you need to, because God isreal and if you truly have a
relationship with God, then itdoesn't matter what other people
are thinking.
If you want to have a deepconversation with God out in the
opening or by yourself in aroom and talk talk out loud or
(33:01):
whatever that's okay, becausethat's how confident I am with
my relationship with God and Ihope that people see this and it
lures them to want to have aclose relationship with God and
to get to know Him, because hewill reveal Himself to you.
It's more than just religion.
You know what I'm saying.
(33:21):
It's beyond that.
You take away the churches, youtake away all the scriptures
and just focus on just God alone, he'll come to you.
But when people push God awayor, what's worse, listen to
other people's opinions of God,that's when you start having too
many questions and not enoughfaith into believing that God is
(33:44):
out there for you.
So that's my message to peopleGod is a personal thing.
It's not a group thing.
It's a personal relationshipwith him.
If you want to know God, justask him Straight up.
Just ask him and he'll answeryes, he will.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
I'm much aware of one .
Carl, I want to thank you verymuch for joining me today.
I love these stories.
I'm looking forward to carryingon the conversation, looking
forward to hearing more aboutyour book, seeing people act on
it.
Thank you From all thelisteners, please.
Once again, thank you very muchfor joining us today.
(34:20):
Myself and Carl are alwaysgrateful.
Please share this message andinspire another day From myself,
bass Porter, to my Ashers havea blessed, wonderful day ahead
and remember my purpose.
Inspire legacy.
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