July 13, 2025 • 24 mins
What would happen if you forgave the person who hurt you most?
Most of us think forgiveness means letting them off the hook. We think it makes us weak, that we're giving up our right to be angry. But what if forgiveness isn't about them at all? What if it's the secret weapon that unlocks everything you're meant to build?
April Wyett thought forgiveness was impossible until her journey into energy healing work freed her from the illusion of forgiveness and helped her truly forgive.
Growing up in the Pacific Northwest with a disabled mother and a father who escaped into gambling, April learned early that home wasn't always safe. Nature became her sanctuary the trees, the mountains, the open sky that held her when nothing else could.
But it wasn't until she discovered energy healing - combining Reiki, sound healing, and biodynamic breathwork - that April realized forgiveness wasn't about excusing the inexcusable. It was about freeing herself from the prison of resentment and unlocking the healer she was always meant to be.
Now April creates healing sanctuaries where people feel truly seen and heard, helping them release trauma stored in their bodies and discover the freedom that comes from true forgiveness.
This isn't just about letting go. It's about what becomes possible when you stop carrying other people's pain and start building your own empire of healing.
If You’ve Been Hooked on These Episodes… This Is for You
If this podcast has been landing deep… if each story feels like it’s peeling back something raw and real in you… then don’t ignore that.
Every guest you’ve heard made the same decision: to stop performing and start healing.
Now it’s your turn.
Take the Silent Collapse Diagnostic. It’s not a quiz. It’s a wake-up tool for women who are done pretending they’re fine.
No fluff. No journaling prompts. Just a straight-up mirror into where you’re silently collapsing behind the mask of success.
If you're serious about reclaiming your energy, your clarity, your life start there.
Because breakthrough doesn’t begin with doing more. It begins with finally seeing what’s been stealing your power.
Learn more about Baz Porter at www.bazporter.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Rise from the
Ashes podcast.
I am privileged to be joined bythe guest today and April.
I won't say your second namebecause I always mess second
names up for some strange reason.
I'm dyslexic and I just won'teven bother.
April, please meet the world,the world listeners.
Please meet April.
Can you share a bit about whatyou do and who you are, please?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Baz, it is amazing, simply amazing, to be here I'm
serious about that.
It's when you've been workingand putting yourself out there
and wondering is anybodylistening?
And then here you show up andsay, yes, come, come with me.
I have this community I want tointroduce you to.
So thank you, thank you.
I'm very grateful for thisopportunity.
(00:52):
What I do?
First, my last name is Wyattand with an E a lot of people
get that confused, so no worriesthere and I am an energy worker
.
So I've been connected withnature all of my life.
I grew up on the PacificNorthwest, on one of the San
(01:13):
Juan Islands there would beisland and just immersed myself
with nature.
That was my first home becausemy home wasn't safe.
With nature, that was my firsthome because my home wasn't safe
.
And so running through thewoods, learning from the animals
, the frogs, the reptiles, loveit all, and that's how I'm able
(01:37):
to really bring myself back intomy center space is through
nature.
So that's, I'm a nature girl atheart and right now we're
full-time RVers soontransitioning and so us
exploring and going throughdifferent parks and things like
that.
I just feel like I'm home.
(01:58):
Wherever I go, what I supportpeople with is just that right,
bringing it back to ourselves,to our safe space, to our home,
to our essence.
And so I work with a variety ofmodalities, and it starts with
(02:19):
awareness, right With where arewe at, where's our mind and how
are we connecting to our bodies,because our bodies are our most
precious resource.
And yet we tend to forget,because the world is very
distracting and the thoughtsright key into that.
(02:41):
I'm a firm believer ofsubconscious and I call it the
stone soup of collectiveconsciousness and how people are
intermixing, whether theyrealize it or not, with the
subconscious of the world that'shappening, world that's
happening.
And so making that choice tobring it back to ourselves,
(03:06):
asking where am I at in thismoment, and just simply taking a
breath.
As you said before we startedthis call it's just too much
bullshit happening here, let'sbring it down, let's just be
real.
Yeah, so I do that withmindfulness, I do that with
Reiki and sound healing, andalso the cornerstone is the
(03:27):
biodynamic breathwork and traumarelease system, and that is
what really allows people to bein that space, witness what's
happening in their bodies andtheir minds, and knowing that we
can have tension and a resource, a safe space, but choosing
which one we're going to follow,and then that helps to
(03:51):
dissipate that through ournervous system organically and
we can feel lighter and freer.
Because that's what everybodywants, right?
It's more freedom and lightnessin their lives.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
What about Sam one?
You did say I got married inOrcas Island.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Oh a neighboring island.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
yes, Beautiful, funny story.
I got invited to a healingretreat at the Rosario Hotel for
a weekend, a long weekend, andgifted completely out of the
blue.
So myself and my then-fiancédecided to say, oh, we'll get
(04:34):
married.
And I was like what we're goingto do?
We're going to, okay, we'regetting married.
Now, it wasn't planned.
It was literally planned withineight days that's how long we
had to plan this and Rob Worgen,who was holding the event he
was one of the mastermindsbehind Heal, the documentary
(04:55):
Heal with Joe.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Dispenza and others.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
He was on there, invited us up.
Gerard Butler came to ourwedding.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
He just turned up, just moseyed in, just showed up.
Gerard Butler came to ourwedding.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
He just turned up, just moseyed in, just showed up
and I was like ten minutesbefore my wedding I was having a
cup of coffee with GerardButler over a bar.
I'd stopped drinking by thenand I was just like this is cool
, wow.
But what we didn't know we had.
There were friends of ours whois my wife, friends of hers flew
in leis from Hawaii.
(05:30):
The cake that was all vegan,organic, fancy dancing, was
flown in from the mainlandbecause there is no cake maker
on the island.
It was everything on her visionboard was the wedding.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Ah, love it.
You just can't make that up.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
And I was like I wish I had it here, I'd show you.
That was her vision board.
But it was everything on thevision board and I was like wow,
and I didn't know that untilafterwards.
And I was like wow, and Ididn't know that until
afterwards.
So I had no conception of whatshe was doing, well, before she
met me.
So when I say that we're livingwith intention, she was living
(06:18):
with intention.
What happened before youstarted RVing and traveling
around and doing all of this?
You mentioned something verypoignant you didn't grow up in a
safe.
Now I find that very.
That's a common thing that Icome across with a lot of people
, especially women, believe itor not.
Men, yes, but more women aremore vocal about it.
(06:40):
Can you just if you will gothrough that journey and what
happened?
Obviously the surface levelstuff and whatever you're
willing to share.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yes, I'm open.
I've done a lot of sittingwithin those uncomfortable
spaces.
I don't want to say healing,because it's all the layers,
right, Baz.
It's just being aware of what'sbubbling up and how we're
sitting with it andacknowledging it and accepting
those parts of ourselves.
Because, wherever we go, therewe are, you know.
(07:16):
So that's what makes us who weare today.
And so, through my childhood, mymother was disabled.
She was diagnosed withrheumatoid arthritis back in the
1960s, when she was 19.
And that was almost unheard of.
(07:36):
And before she got married, itwas a shotgun wedding.
She was pregnant with my sisterand my father was forced to do
the right thing to save face forthe family.
And she didn't know really whomy father was.
He was the charismatic, theplayful, the drama guy.
(08:00):
He was in the drama club and itwas a small town and he was a
star football player, all thethings right.
So she really set her sights onhim and she was the
valedictorian, she was the smart, she was the ginger, right,
there's not many redheads there,you can appreciate that.
And so together, right, theylook like the part, but inside
(08:26):
they each had their own traumasof not being worthy.
That's what it came down toright the fear.
And I was born when she had therheumatoid arthritis and I
believe through my experiences,many experiences and deep
(08:47):
reflections, that when I was inutero I was experiencing what
she was experiencing with hernervous system, with everything
that was happening with her.
So when I was born I wasautomatically right in that
fight-flight freeze and I didnot have the support, the
(09:07):
emotional support, that I needed.
My father did all the fatherlyduties from the 1950s era right.
He was a school teacher.
He was the one that made themoney.
My mother was shut downliterally in bed on prescription
(09:27):
medication and took everything.
She had to get out of bed to donormal family things.
And then my father startedgambling.
He was looking for that quickfix to make the money to
compensate for that emotionaldisconnect and for that pressure
(09:49):
that he had.
That he felt Right and Iremember clearly and it was very
disconnected Our family was andmy father had.
He was a rare coin dealer so itwas very common for him to have
gold coins, silver, all thesethings on the dining room table.
(10:11):
The table was just shuffledwith papers and coins and
grading papers from school andall the things and I would ask
for something and he would saywe don't have money.
We don't have enough money forthat.
And here I'm looking at allthese coins and the money and
him talking on the phone aboutthese big gold deals and things
(10:34):
on the phone, and then onWednesday nights and Friday,
Saturday, he would go gamble.
And so that was the.
Then it started for me of how,what do I need to do?
To hustle.
I need to hustle in order toshow, prove my worth or to
receive the love that I wasdesperately craving, the love
(11:01):
that I was desperately cravingmy mother, for what she was
capable of doing.
She just was at the bareminimal.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
And then my father was in that survival mode.
I'm listening to you now, april, and there's a lot of
similarities, for what not justmyself but a lot of other people
grew up with and my nan hadrheumatoid arthritis in her
elderly years.
She passed away 15 years agonow.
But there's one thing thatstrikes me with you there's a
lot of compassion and a lot offorgiveness within your voice
(11:37):
and tonality, and that I find avery rare thing, especially in a
world that has been made toblame or understand.
And what I really like aboutyou and is very present for me
personally, is there's a lot offorgiveness.
(11:57):
There's a lot of acceptance aswell, and you've done a lot of
forgiveness.
There's a lot of acceptance aswell, and you've done a lot of.
I know you have not because Iknow from what I've seen online,
because this is the first timewe've actually had a
conversation, but I know becauseof the way you show up and the
way you care about other people.
You've done a lot of personal,deep work, but that's a rare
(12:18):
thing.
People say they have, butactually the truth is they
haven't.
They're putting on this personafor everybody else and they're
trying to bury it.
True authenticity, trueawareness comes with forgiveness
and complete acceptance, andthe tonality in your voice has
(12:44):
it, and I know when I hear itI'm not there.
Certainly I've got a long wayto go, but we're all a work in
progress.
What I find about you and I hopethe listeners excuse me, I hope
the listeners are in tune withthis and what I was speaking
(13:04):
into here, because back inbefore the 80s, 70s and beyond,
before that, there was thisthere was this conception of
what light, especially americanand western life should be like,
and you spoke into it earlier.
The man was the breadwinner, hewent to work, he was the alpha
(13:28):
male, the one that wore the suitand controlled finances, where
we went, and the woman wasstaying at home, raising the
kids.
And what's happened is not somuch a role reversal in the last
30 or 40 years, but women likeyourself have stood up and said
that's not who we are, which Ilove, by the way.
(13:50):
But there's also beencontention with that in many
different forms corporate sector, private sectors and also in
the public, where your voiceshave been silenced.
How has that shown up for you,not just in your journey through
private life, in your home,your personal life, but in your
(14:12):
work?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yes, I want to bring it back just a tad though, baz,
when you said forgiveness that Ifound forgiveness.
Just a tad, though, baz, whenyou said forgiveness that I
found forgiveness, and I want tomake it perfectly clear for
everyone that it's aboutforgiving ourselves first, right
?
Yeah, I agree with that,because I was a child and I was
(14:35):
neglected and not eating moldybread, having rotten food in the
refrigerator that's foodscarcity.
People don't realize that'salso an ace right.
The adverse childhoodexperiences that compound the
trauma.
Adverse childhood experiencesthat compound the trauma.
(15:01):
So by me forgiving myself andunderstanding the dynamics, I'm
able to step back, watch it likea movie and go oh, that's why
he behaved that way.
That's why my sister alwaysjudged me and ridiculed me
because she was made to takecare of me a seven-year-old
taking care of a two-year-old.
No wonder she shut me in thecloset.
(15:22):
No wonder she always.
It wasn't a loving sisterrelationship until we got older
and now it's vastly different.
But she was in survival modetoo, right?
Her mother that cared for her,that was able to run and play,
no longer did that, and I nevereven knew that mother either.
(15:42):
So, fast forwarding this to,how has this developed and
shifted for me in my work is byme creating that sanctuary for
people to be seen and heard andwitnessed, creating that space
(16:06):
for people to share and knowthat they are being held in that
sanctuary of support.
That's where the healinghappens, because not just
holistically, but our bodies aretuning in.
We have this resonance witheach other and we can tell when
somebody is genuine in showingup and being open to hearing,
(16:30):
and that's how I help my clientsto unpack it for themselves.
It's not talk therapy, it'smore of embodiment what's
happening for you, what'sshowing up?
Where are you feeling that inyour body?
What would happen if we juststep back a little bit and took
a breath?
(16:51):
Where do you feel that ease inyour body and moving, releasing,
because we're holding Ourbodies, hold everything for us,
everything.
We're in a material world.
We showed up here to have thisexperience and this is what
helps us engage in this materialworld.
(17:12):
I overcame, also with my voice.
Thank you for noticing that too, baz.
I realized that I wanted morefor myself and I wrote about it
actually in an anthology with CJand Susanna, moving Beyond
Boxes, and it was called theLion's Roar.
(17:33):
And it was called the lion'sroar because I followed.
I was married young, which is mymother, although I was more
mature for my age.
I had to grow up fast.
My husband and I gelled reallywell together because he did too
, and so he Navy, young, navyman.
(17:53):
We moved to San Diego.
I followed him around and leftcountless jobs that I loved, and
we moved to Japan, lived therefor four years Absolutely love
that and then moved back to theStates.
I had my son.
I was doing everything for him,everything, sacrifice, all the
(18:20):
States.
I had my son, I was doingeverything for him, everything,
sacrifice, all the things.
And then he was forced intoretirement and I thought what
now?
I started my Reiki training andI asked for the great intention,
the highest good for my family.
That's all I said, that's all Iprayed about, that's all the
intentions I sent out there.
And then, when I received, oh,you're moving back to Iowa, and
(18:46):
that was back in 2009.
It's like you're moving back toIowa.
It's like Iowa.
Why Iowa?
I don't want to be there.
The ice storms are horrible andall the things, and I was very
mad in the beginning and then itjust took me 30 seconds and
then, all of a sudden, it waslike a knife, cut through all of
(19:07):
that noise and it was likeremember what you asked for
great, the highest good for yourfamily.
And as soon as I acceptedthere's that word, again
accepted it and thought, okay,there must be more here than I
can see.
I'm going to trust in thisprocess.
That's what my life has beenabout trusting in the process
(19:31):
and wonderful, amazing thingstranspired.
I had a full ride at DrakeUniversity because I opened an
email, a September 11th GI Billemail, that my husband would
have never looked at and hetransferred his benefits from
that to me so I was able to goback to school and, yeah, just,
(19:56):
I could go on and on.
So when I like to say whenwe're curious and open to how
things are unfolding, not havingthe judgment, and as I shared
with Baz before the show, it'slike how can it get better than
this?
That's my secret sauce.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
And things just drop in, keep dropping in, and it's
been a fun ride, and more tocome.
There's always more.
There's always more.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, I love that.
I think your story is veryincredible, april, for many
reasons, but something keepscoming back to me and it's the
acceptance.
So, if you're listening to thisand you're wondering what the
hell is going on in your liferight now because most of us do,
because that's a natural thingtake a leaf out of april's book.
(20:49):
Accept what's going on,regardless of how it seems and
I'm not going to put good or badout there, but, whatever it
seems like, just accept what'sgoing on Because, as April's
journey is proving and manyothers have proved, acceptance
(21:09):
is key to that journey and theaspects of what you're going
through right now.
The fact you're going throughit, it means it's not the end,
and if you're not happy, itmeans it's not the end.
So keep going.
Is there any final words orthoughts?
You would have to leave us withthis episode for the audience,
(21:31):
april.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Yes, I would like to invite everyone to remember that
when you focus on you and whatyou're wanting, focus on what I
want more of, not what I don'twant, not what I don't want
(21:58):
Realign your intentions, revisityou know where is my attention
right now, where's my attentionon my intention, and then you'll
have to realign throughout theday.
And that's fine, that's fine.
Don't beat yourself up.
Just hold ease and grace foryourself, as you are worthy of
everything that you're wanting.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I love that.
I think that's great advice foranybody who's listening.
April, thank you very much forjoining me on part one.
I'm looking forward to part two, when we go deeper into your,
what you do and how you helpother people and how you show up
in these places.
But for myself, my listeners,thank you very much for joining
(22:41):
me.
Please share the episode,embrace the change in your life
and share the message of April,who can facilitate the change
and she is the living embodimentof that change and provides a
safe space for you to go andhave a conversation, which I do
highly encourage.
The links are below share themessage, go and have a
(23:04):
conversation.
From myself, I'm Baz Porter.
From April Wyatt, we'll see youon part two.
Take care.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Rise from the
Ashes podcast.
I am privileged to be joined bythe guest today and April.
I won't say your second namebecause I always mess second
names up for some strange reason.
I'm dyslexic and I just won'teven bother.
April, please meet the world,the world listeners.
Please meet April.
Can you share a bit about whatyou do and who you are, please?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Baz, it is amazing, simply amazing, to be here I'm
serious about that.
It's when you've been workingand putting yourself out there
and wondering is anybodylistening?
And then here you show up andsay, yes, come, come with me.
I have this community I want tointroduce you to.
So thank you, thank you.
I'm very grateful for thisopportunity.
(00:52):
What I do?
First, my last name is Wyattand with an E a lot of people
get that confused, so no worriesthere and I am an energy worker
.
So I've been connected withnature all of my life.
I grew up on the PacificNorthwest, on one of the San
(01:13):
Juan Islands there would beisland and just immersed myself
with nature.
That was my first home becausemy home wasn't safe.
With nature, that was my firsthome because my home wasn't safe
.
And so running through thewoods, learning from the animals
, the frogs, the reptiles, loveit all, and that's how I'm able
(01:37):
to really bring myself back intomy center space is through
nature.
So that's, I'm a nature girl atheart and right now we're
full-time RVers soontransitioning and so us
exploring and going throughdifferent parks and things like
that.
I just feel like I'm home.
(01:58):
Wherever I go, what I supportpeople with is just that right,
bringing it back to ourselves,to our safe space, to our home,
to our essence.
And so I work with a variety ofmodalities, and it starts with
(02:19):
awareness, right With where arewe at, where's our mind and how
are we connecting to our bodies,because our bodies are our most
precious resource.
And yet we tend to forget,because the world is very
distracting and the thoughtsright key into that.
(02:41):
I'm a firm believer ofsubconscious and I call it the
stone soup of collectiveconsciousness and how people are
intermixing, whether theyrealize it or not, with the
subconscious of the world that'shappening, world that's
happening.
And so making that choice tobring it back to ourselves,
(03:06):
asking where am I at in thismoment, and just simply taking a
breath.
As you said before we startedthis call it's just too much
bullshit happening here, let'sbring it down, let's just be
real.
Yeah, so I do that withmindfulness, I do that with
Reiki and sound healing, andalso the cornerstone is the
(03:27):
biodynamic breathwork and traumarelease system, and that is
what really allows people to bein that space, witness what's
happening in their bodies andtheir minds, and knowing that we
can have tension and a resource, a safe space, but choosing
which one we're going to follow,and then that helps to
(03:51):
dissipate that through ournervous system organically and
we can feel lighter and freer.
Because that's what everybodywants, right?
It's more freedom and lightnessin their lives.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
What about Sam one?
You did say I got married inOrcas Island.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Oh a neighboring island.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
yes, Beautiful, funny story.
I got invited to a healingretreat at the Rosario Hotel for
a weekend, a long weekend, andgifted completely out of the
blue.
So myself and my then-fiancédecided to say, oh, we'll get
(04:34):
married.
And I was like what we're goingto do?
We're going to, okay, we'regetting married.
Now, it wasn't planned.
It was literally planned withineight days that's how long we
had to plan this and Rob Worgen,who was holding the event he
was one of the mastermindsbehind Heal, the documentary
(04:55):
Heal with Joe.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Dispenza and others.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
He was on there, invited us up.
Gerard Butler came to ourwedding.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
He just turned up, just moseyed in, just showed up.
Gerard Butler came to ourwedding.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
He just turned up, just moseyed in, just showed up
and I was like ten minutesbefore my wedding I was having a
cup of coffee with GerardButler over a bar.
I'd stopped drinking by thenand I was just like this is cool
, wow.
But what we didn't know we had.
There were friends of ours whois my wife, friends of hers flew
in leis from Hawaii.
(05:30):
The cake that was all vegan,organic, fancy dancing, was
flown in from the mainlandbecause there is no cake maker
on the island.
It was everything on her visionboard was the wedding.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Ah, love it.
You just can't make that up.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
And I was like I wish I had it here, I'd show you.
That was her vision board.
But it was everything on thevision board and I was like wow,
and I didn't know that untilafterwards.
And I was like wow, and Ididn't know that until
afterwards.
So I had no conception of whatshe was doing, well, before she
met me.
So when I say that we're livingwith intention, she was living
(06:18):
with intention.
What happened before youstarted RVing and traveling
around and doing all of this?
You mentioned something verypoignant you didn't grow up in a
safe.
Now I find that very.
That's a common thing that Icome across with a lot of people
, especially women, believe itor not.
Men, yes, but more women aremore vocal about it.
(06:40):
Can you just if you will gothrough that journey and what
happened?
Obviously the surface levelstuff and whatever you're
willing to share.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yes, I'm open.
I've done a lot of sittingwithin those uncomfortable
spaces.
I don't want to say healing,because it's all the layers,
right, Baz.
It's just being aware of what'sbubbling up and how we're
sitting with it andacknowledging it and accepting
those parts of ourselves.
Because, wherever we go, therewe are, you know.
(07:16):
So that's what makes us who weare today.
And so, through my childhood, mymother was disabled.
She was diagnosed withrheumatoid arthritis back in the
1960s, when she was 19.
And that was almost unheard of.
(07:36):
And before she got married, itwas a shotgun wedding.
She was pregnant with my sisterand my father was forced to do
the right thing to save face forthe family.
And she didn't know really whomy father was.
He was the charismatic, theplayful, the drama guy.
(08:00):
He was in the drama club and itwas a small town and he was a
star football player, all thethings right.
So she really set her sights onhim and she was the
valedictorian, she was the smart, she was the ginger, right,
there's not many redheads there,you can appreciate that.
And so together, right, theylook like the part, but inside
(08:26):
they each had their own traumasof not being worthy.
That's what it came down toright the fear.
And I was born when she had therheumatoid arthritis and I
believe through my experiences,many experiences and deep
(08:47):
reflections, that when I was inutero I was experiencing what
she was experiencing with hernervous system, with everything
that was happening with her.
So when I was born I wasautomatically right in that
fight-flight freeze and I didnot have the support, the
(09:07):
emotional support, that I needed.
My father did all the fatherlyduties from the 1950s era right.
He was a school teacher.
He was the one that made themoney.
My mother was shut downliterally in bed on prescription
(09:27):
medication and took everything.
She had to get out of bed to donormal family things.
And then my father startedgambling.
He was looking for that quickfix to make the money to
compensate for that emotionaldisconnect and for that pressure
(09:49):
that he had.
That he felt Right and Iremember clearly and it was very
disconnected Our family was andmy father had.
He was a rare coin dealer so itwas very common for him to have
gold coins, silver, all thesethings on the dining room table.
(10:11):
The table was just shuffledwith papers and coins and
grading papers from school andall the things and I would ask
for something and he would saywe don't have money.
We don't have enough money forthat.
And here I'm looking at allthese coins and the money and
him talking on the phone aboutthese big gold deals and things
(10:34):
on the phone, and then onWednesday nights and Friday,
Saturday, he would go gamble.
And so that was the.
Then it started for me of how,what do I need to do?
To hustle.
I need to hustle in order toshow, prove my worth or to
receive the love that I wasdesperately craving, the love
(11:01):
that I was desperately cravingmy mother, for what she was
capable of doing.
She just was at the bareminimal.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
And then my father was in that survival mode.
I'm listening to you now, april, and there's a lot of
similarities, for what not justmyself but a lot of other people
grew up with and my nan hadrheumatoid arthritis in her
elderly years.
She passed away 15 years agonow.
But there's one thing thatstrikes me with you there's a
lot of compassion and a lot offorgiveness within your voice
(11:37):
and tonality, and that I find avery rare thing, especially in a
world that has been made toblame or understand.
And what I really like aboutyou and is very present for me
personally, is there's a lot offorgiveness.
(11:57):
There's a lot of acceptance aswell, and you've done a lot of
forgiveness.
There's a lot of acceptance aswell, and you've done a lot of.
I know you have not because Iknow from what I've seen online,
because this is the first timewe've actually had a
conversation, but I know becauseof the way you show up and the
way you care about other people.
You've done a lot of personal,deep work, but that's a rare
(12:18):
thing.
People say they have, butactually the truth is they
haven't.
They're putting on this personafor everybody else and they're
trying to bury it.
True authenticity, trueawareness comes with forgiveness
and complete acceptance, andthe tonality in your voice has
(12:44):
it, and I know when I hear itI'm not there.
Certainly I've got a long wayto go, but we're all a work in
progress.
What I find about you and I hopethe listeners excuse me, I hope
the listeners are in tune withthis and what I was speaking
(13:04):
into here, because back inbefore the 80s, 70s and beyond,
before that, there was thisthere was this conception of
what light, especially americanand western life should be like,
and you spoke into it earlier.
The man was the breadwinner, hewent to work, he was the alpha
(13:28):
male, the one that wore the suitand controlled finances, where
we went, and the woman wasstaying at home, raising the
kids.
And what's happened is not somuch a role reversal in the last
30 or 40 years, but women likeyourself have stood up and said
that's not who we are, which Ilove, by the way.
(13:50):
But there's also beencontention with that in many
different forms corporate sector, private sectors and also in
the public, where your voiceshave been silenced.
How has that shown up for you,not just in your journey through
private life, in your home,your personal life, but in your
(14:12):
work?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yes, I want to bring it back just a tad though, baz,
when you said forgiveness that Ifound forgiveness.
Just a tad, though, baz, whenyou said forgiveness that I
found forgiveness, and I want tomake it perfectly clear for
everyone that it's aboutforgiving ourselves first, right
?
Yeah, I agree with that,because I was a child and I was
(14:35):
neglected and not eating moldybread, having rotten food in the
refrigerator that's foodscarcity.
People don't realize that'salso an ace right.
The adverse childhoodexperiences that compound the
trauma.
Adverse childhood experiencesthat compound the trauma.
(15:01):
So by me forgiving myself andunderstanding the dynamics, I'm
able to step back, watch it likea movie and go oh, that's why
he behaved that way.
That's why my sister alwaysjudged me and ridiculed me
because she was made to takecare of me a seven-year-old
taking care of a two-year-old.
No wonder she shut me in thecloset.
(15:22):
No wonder she always.
It wasn't a loving sisterrelationship until we got older
and now it's vastly different.
But she was in survival modetoo, right?
Her mother that cared for her,that was able to run and play,
no longer did that, and I nevereven knew that mother either.
(15:42):
So, fast forwarding this to,how has this developed and
shifted for me in my work is byme creating that sanctuary for
people to be seen and heard andwitnessed, creating that space
(16:06):
for people to share and knowthat they are being held in that
sanctuary of support.
That's where the healinghappens, because not just
holistically, but our bodies aretuning in.
We have this resonance witheach other and we can tell when
somebody is genuine in showingup and being open to hearing,
(16:30):
and that's how I help my clientsto unpack it for themselves.
It's not talk therapy, it'smore of embodiment what's
happening for you, what'sshowing up?
Where are you feeling that inyour body?
What would happen if we juststep back a little bit and took
a breath?
(16:51):
Where do you feel that ease inyour body and moving, releasing,
because we're holding Ourbodies, hold everything for us,
everything.
We're in a material world.
We showed up here to have thisexperience and this is what
helps us engage in this materialworld.
(17:12):
I overcame, also with my voice.
Thank you for noticing that too, baz.
I realized that I wanted morefor myself and I wrote about it
actually in an anthology with CJand Susanna, moving Beyond
Boxes, and it was called theLion's Roar.
(17:33):
And it was called the lion'sroar because I followed.
I was married young, which is mymother, although I was more
mature for my age.
I had to grow up fast.
My husband and I gelled reallywell together because he did too
, and so he Navy, young, navyman.
(17:53):
We moved to San Diego.
I followed him around and leftcountless jobs that I loved, and
we moved to Japan, lived therefor four years Absolutely love
that and then moved back to theStates.
I had my son.
I was doing everything for him,everything, sacrifice, all the
(18:20):
States.
I had my son, I was doingeverything for him, everything,
sacrifice, all the things.
And then he was forced intoretirement and I thought what
now?
I started my Reiki training andI asked for the great intention,
the highest good for my family.
That's all I said, that's all Iprayed about, that's all the
intentions I sent out there.
And then, when I received, oh,you're moving back to Iowa, and
(18:46):
that was back in 2009.
It's like you're moving back toIowa.
It's like Iowa.
Why Iowa?
I don't want to be there.
The ice storms are horrible andall the things, and I was very
mad in the beginning and then itjust took me 30 seconds and
then, all of a sudden, it waslike a knife, cut through all of
(19:07):
that noise and it was likeremember what you asked for
great, the highest good for yourfamily.
And as soon as I acceptedthere's that word, again
accepted it and thought, okay,there must be more here than I
can see.
I'm going to trust in thisprocess.
That's what my life has beenabout trusting in the process
(19:31):
and wonderful, amazing thingstranspired.
I had a full ride at DrakeUniversity because I opened an
email, a September 11th GI Billemail, that my husband would
have never looked at and hetransferred his benefits from
that to me so I was able to goback to school and, yeah, just,
(19:56):
I could go on and on.
So when I like to say whenwe're curious and open to how
things are unfolding, not havingthe judgment, and as I shared
with Baz before the show, it'slike how can it get better than
this?
That's my secret sauce.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
And things just drop in, keep dropping in, and it's
been a fun ride, and more tocome.
There's always more.
There's always more.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, I love that.
I think your story is veryincredible, april, for many
reasons, but something keepscoming back to me and it's the
acceptance.
So, if you're listening to thisand you're wondering what the
hell is going on in your liferight now because most of us do,
because that's a natural thingtake a leaf out of april's book.
(20:49):
Accept what's going on,regardless of how it seems and
I'm not going to put good or badout there, but, whatever it
seems like, just accept what'sgoing on Because, as April's
journey is proving and manyothers have proved, acceptance
(21:09):
is key to that journey and theaspects of what you're going
through right now.
The fact you're going throughit, it means it's not the end,
and if you're not happy, itmeans it's not the end.
So keep going.
Is there any final words orthoughts?
You would have to leave us withthis episode for the audience,
(21:31):
april.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Yes, I would like to invite everyone to remember that
when you focus on you and whatyou're wanting, focus on what I
want more of, not what I don'twant, not what I don't want
(21:58):
Realign your intentions, revisityou know where is my attention
right now, where's my attentionon my intention, and then you'll
have to realign throughout theday.
And that's fine, that's fine.
Don't beat yourself up.
Just hold ease and grace foryourself, as you are worthy of
everything that you're wanting.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
I love that.
I think that's great advice foranybody who's listening.
April, thank you very much forjoining me on part one.
I'm looking forward to part two, when we go deeper into your,
what you do and how you helpother people and how you show up
in these places.
But for myself, my listeners,thank you very much for joining
(22:41):
me.
Please share the episode,embrace the change in your life
and share the message of April,who can facilitate the change
and she is the living embodimentof that change and provides a
safe space for you to go andhave a conversation, which I do
highly encourage.
The links are below share themessage, go and have a
(23:04):
conversation.
From myself, I'm Baz Porter.
From April Wyatt, we'll see youon part two.
Take care.
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