March 15, 2021 • 51 mins
I had the pleasure of meeting with Chante Douglas, a single mother, an autism advocate, a military veteran having served in the air force and a published author, bring awareness and advocacy about the autism community.
We cover so many topics, including when her son, Levi, was diagnosed, the mental health challenges she has faced, and how she has been working through them. Helping her son with his mental health after he had a 'terrible, terrible day,' which she drew inspiration from for her upcoming book that is going to be released soon called, "Are You Okay?"
She literally turned her son into a superhero, Echoboy, as well as introducing his side-kick, ABC Girl! Driving more representation in the black and brown communities, especially related to autism, is really important to Chante.
Chante has taken her pain and driven it to her purpose, using writing as a way to express herself through her poetry, but also writing childrens books, not only to help other children with autism know they are not alone, but also to educate other children (neurotypical) about autism.
She is an inspiration, through advocating for her son, being vulnerable in sharing her journey and impacting others in a positive way.
Check out the books she has available to purchase (see links below), as well as connect with Chante through the many channels she is available.
Through connection, we can find unity, through unity, we can find solutions and support for each other.
Books to Purchase:
The Adventures of Echo boy And ABC girl https://www.amazon.com/dp/1686224591/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_0RM7D9F5EWWQPK6QRB2A
ABC GIRL- The Wonderful World of ABCs https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KMBY758/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_8533R7VR1WNV6MCN77SY
Connect with Chante:
Facebook Business Page: https://www.facebook.com/echoboyabcgirl
Facebook Personal: https://www.facebook.com/chante.douglas
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/echoboysmom82/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/levismom82?lang=en
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:09):
Hey everyone, and welcome to the rise with the
light podcast. My name is SusanFink and this is my weekly
podcast dedicated to supportingfamilies raising children with
special needs. I'm on a missionto provide hope and positivity
through sharing my personalinsights, stories, mindset
perspectives, and ways tonavigate through this journey.
Let's get started.
(00:50):
Hey, everyone, and thank you somuch for joining us today I have
an amazing guests with meshantay Douglas. She is a single
mother and autism advocate, amilitary veteran, having served
in the Air Force and a publishedauthor bringing awareness and
advocacy to the autismcommunity. So thank you so much,
shantay, for joining me today,I'm so happy that we've
(01:12):
connected and that we've gottento know each other a little bit.
And I'm excited for ourlisteners to hear your story and
also to hear about some of thebooks that you have, and
especially the new book that'scoming out. Thank you so much
for joining me today. shantay.
Thank you so much for having me,Susan, I really appreciate you
inviting me on to your podcast.
Yeah, I'm just happy to be here.
I would really love ourlisteners to learn more about
(01:33):
you and to hear your story andto hear about your son as well.
I am a single mom, I'm fromPhiladelphia, Pennsylvania. If
you're from the east coast,please visit us on the east
coast. We are nice peopledespite what people say.
I will be actually turning 39 atthe end of this month. So my
(01:54):
birthday is coming up. I'mexcited about that. I am a
mother of an amazing eight yearold His name is Levi he is the
love of my life, the light of myworld. He really is the one that
really made me the person that Iam how I see the world now how I
just view things as far as withpeople and just learning more
(02:16):
about myself because he's justhe's so unapologetically him.
That is even inspires me to notbe afraid of being my truthful
self. Yeah, he's he's, ofcourse, he's the focal point of
my books. He's the reason I evenwanted to really start writing
the first book, The Adventuresof echoboy. And ABC girl, I just
(02:38):
light up every semester talkingabout that book, because really
what influenced me, of course,it was my son, Levi, but it was
also taking him to go see Enterto spider verse with Mao's
mirallas. And seeing this brownkid with curly hair dress as his
favorite superhero and howconnected he was to miles even
(02:59):
to this day. I mean, that moviecame out about three, four years
ago now, but just how connectedhe was. And then when Black
Panther came out, and howimpactful that was to kids of
color singing all the entirecast was pretty much you know,
of color, and how impactful thatmovie was. And then like just
(03:19):
going through children's books,and I'm like, I'm not seeing
enough black kids, brown kidswith autism being represented,
you know, in books. So I came upwith the idea of creating a
superhero based off my son. Andyeah, it was, you know, it's a
labor of love. I don't even lookat it as work. Like when I'm
creating these, these storiesand these characters, it's
(03:40):
really just a labor of love. ABCgirl, actually, I get I get this
question all the time. Like,I'll get a couple pairs message
me like who is Jasmine who isABC girl, and I'm like, Well, if
I ever had a daughter, it wouldhave been her. And I put a
little bit of my personality inher. So she's very feisty, she
stands up for Levi, she's theone that understands he's a very
(04:03):
visual person. So that's why herabilities are she has a magic
crayon. She can think of anyletter of the alphabet and
create pictures from it. Andthat's how she communicates with
with echoboy. So when he seesthat he knows exactly what she's
trying to communicate and I kindof pull I pull a lot of things
from everyday life because Leviis very visual. So even when
(04:24):
we're learning math problems andjust basic things, everything
has to be visual for him toconnect to it and kind of grasp
it. And with ABC girl, ABCactually stands for always be
kind and caring. So always droplittle jewels. There's a lot of
little jewels that I drop in thebook that you may not realize
until you ask me and I startgoing into detail with the book.
(04:45):
The other reason I decided forher to do the alphabet is
because literacy is so importantand it's a tool that is not a
major priority in the brown andblack community as far as the
education system and you have aLot of random black kids who
don't have access to readingthat a lot of the libraries are
closed down. Funding is notthere for kids to have access to
reading. And reading is soimportant because it unlocks
(05:08):
your imagination, and helps tolearn new things and expand on
vocabulary. And if you take thataway, you're taking an ability
to expand the mind. And if youcan't expand the mind, then is
limiting your capabilities,which is why I'm so passionate.
There's another passion of mineof just promoting literacy and
going into our communities thatare not being supported,
(05:30):
especially during a pandemicright now that they're like the
Forgotten people. And resourcesare limited. And literacy is one
of those resources as limited.
So I really wanted to connect alot but not be preachy in that
book, but I do take it deeperwhen you ask me about it. So
that was the everything thatkind of conveys ABC girl
(05:51):
echoboy. The reason for echoboyI wanted to put a positive light
on echolalia, which really hisversion of echolalia is really
amazing. I mean, my son can heara sound and repeat it Pitch
Perfect. He can sing one pitch,like it's really amazing how he
can he can imitate an entire,like all different noises of a
(06:11):
video game. Like I hear it somuch now that I'm like, okay,
that's Sonic, that'ssupermarket. That's Family Feud.
That's real afford to buyanything, that's a very distinct
sale, he can even mimic certainsales of a car so he could
imitate the engine, the muffler,the tire screeching the racing,
(06:31):
countdown lights, he can imitatethat, like it's, it blows my
mind how really, he's aneveryday real life superhero to
me. So it's easy to pull thingsfrom him that I'm observing and
write about it and make it funand educational for neurotypical
kids to read. So if even if yourkid doesn't have autism, I
wouldn't I want you to read thisbook to your kids. If your kid
(06:54):
does have autism, I want them tofeel like they're not. They're
not alone in this world. Andthey're celebrate it. And
they're amazing in their ownunique way. And I want parents
that have kids with autism tofeel like you know what, we're
embracing this, we're gonna liveunapologetically autism. And
that's our life. Don't evenworry about what people think or
feel, or whatever how they viewthings. Because there's always
(07:16):
gonna no matter how hard us asparents are going to advocate
for our kids, there's alwaysgoing to be ignorance, there's
always going to be people whofeel like, you know, well, these
kids don't, don't deserve to dothis or don't, don't need that,
or whatever. But take that andlet that be your fuel to keep
advocating and going hard foryour kids. Because if we don't
believe in them, nobody else isgoing to believe in if we don't
(07:37):
instill that confidence now andplant that seed now. As they get
older, they're going to feellike Well, my mom really just
didn't believe in me. And shemade me feel like I was ashamed
to have autism. And I was tryingso hard to be quote, unquote,
normal or whatever, I never wantthat to come out of Levi's
mouth, I always want him to feellike my mom was my rock. She She
was behind me 1,000% like, youknow, I have I have him tattooed
(08:00):
on my arm. You know, I don'tthink any other pair on the
planet has their kid as asuperhero.
That is amazing. When you sentme the photos of your tattoo, I
was like, wow, that number onethat's a committed mom right
there because I have never had atattoo because I'm afraid to get
one because of the pain. Butnumber two, that you turned your
(08:23):
son into a superhero andembraced the echolalia and
embraced some of what peoplewould see as a challenge. But a
lot of times as moms who areadvocates and supportive and
want our children to succeed andfeel that love and acceptance,
you know, accepting these thingsthat are just different, right,
the echolalia. And it's such agift that you've turned that
(08:46):
into this amazing story thattells people about what this is,
but also to support otherchildren, like you just said,
and to educate other childrenthat don't have autism or other
special needs that this is areally unique, you know,
individual and everybody'sdifferent. And we need to be
inclusive in the world. Right.
So I just think I mean, yourcommitment, because you have
(09:08):
that tattooed right there. I'mlike, when you told me that I
was just like, Wow, that is acommitment and amazing and the
story that the reason why youcreated echoboy and ABC girl and
like you said there was apurpose and intention around
those characters. And there isso much richness behind all of
the things that you chose to dowith these characters and the
(09:32):
stories that you're telling andthe supportiveness of ABC girl
to echoboy and the visuallearning and incorporating the
literacy aspect of it. I mean,it's just amazing. All of these
things that you pull together tobring like a really fun and
entertaining books and storiesto people. I mean, that's You're
so talented. I'm like blown awayand still blown away even after
(09:55):
we've already spoken before, butI'm still
blown away. Thank you, Susan.
You're welcome. Yeah, I wouldlove to hear I think our
audience needs love to hearabout about your son's autism.
And what were some of thechallenges that you ran into,
you know, at the diagnosis andthroughout over the years, you
know, and how you've workedthrough to overcome some of
(10:16):
those things. I know thatwriting for you, as you were a
poetry author, too, and writingfor you, is an outlet, right to
express your emotions and to beable to release a lot of things.
And so tell us a little bitabout when Levi was diagnosed,
and the things that you weregoing through, especially as a
parent, because you know, wehave a lot of parent listeners.
And that's one thing I alwayslike to get out of guests on the
(10:39):
show is how did you, you know,come about autism for your son?
How did you feel? What were thethings that you were going
through? And how did you workthrough some of those things to
become who you are now and thestrength that you have from your
journey? Yeah, I want to shoutout my mom, because if it wasn't
for her, I really wouldn't havepaid attention to some behaviors
that he was exhibiting. And hewas really young at the time, I
(11:02):
want to say leave I wasn't evento and I was working crazy hours
at a hospital overnight shift.
So I was like zombie mode, I hadjust gotten out of a really
toxic rocky relationship withhis dad. So really, like my head
was just like, on a swivel atthat point. So my mom called me
one day, and the tone of hervoice just seemed off, and she's
(11:25):
like, I really need to talk toyou about something. And I'm
like, What? And she's like, Ijust was noticing some things
that Levi was doing that made mewant to Google some things when
autism. And I'm like, Well, whatis he doing? Because at that
time, like I said, he was only1819 months old, right? And I
wasn't really paying attentionthat his vocabulary wasn't where
(11:48):
it should be, or he's not, youknow, sometimes kids just need
to take time to develop or, youknow, catch up with the other
kids. And she's like, I think hehas autism. And wish he said
that I had no prior knowledge ofautism, except for a 2020
special I have watched years agowhere there was which actually
people still use to this dayhorse therapy with kids with
(12:09):
autism to help withcommunication. And because
horses are so intelligent,they're truly connected to
humans as far as feelingbehaviors, and emotions and all
of that. So that was the onlything I knew about autism. So it
took me I want to Honestly, ittook me like a good week and a
half to kind of marinate thatand decide what I was going to
do next. So what's the worstcase scenario that Yeah, there
(12:32):
may be something developmentallygoing on with him. No, there
isn't. So I call hispediatrician because that was,
that was the only thing I knewat that time, like, call the
doctor, if they don't know,they'll refer you to somebody.
So we went to the pediatrician,she did her 18 month marker
evaluation, I forgot what theycall it, but you know what I'm
talking about. Um, so she, shehad me fill out the
(12:53):
questionnaire and a lot of itwas no, I know, he's not doing
this. He's not doing that. No,no, wasn't making eye contact,
wouldn't even acknowledge thatsomeone was coming in in the
room. So she said, technically,the only thing I can tell you is
there's definitely adevelopmental delay going on.
And immediately, I startedcrying, because I didn't even
know what that meant at thattime. So I'm crying. And in the
(13:14):
doctor's office, his dad waswith me. And when I looked at
him, already knew mentally hechecked out. You know, like, he
didn't understand it either. Butme and him took two different
routes as far as emotionallytrying to handle you know,
what's going on with our son. SoI'm crying. And I'm like,
Alright, so what's the nextstep?
The doctors like? Well, we'regoing to refer you to
(13:36):
challenging so I know probably alot of your listeners aren't
from the Philadelphia area, andevery agency is different per
state. But in Philadelphia,there are two agencies, one is
called Chow link. And theyprovide services for children
who are from birth to age two,for developmental delays for
services support services. Soshe referred us to chat when
(13:58):
talent comes out, they do anevaluation, and I'm all new to
this. Like, you just feel likepeople are poking and prying
into your life. Like, is hedoing this? Is he doing that?
And you know, and it's like toadmit that Okay, he's not saying
mom or dad or you know, I loveyou or everything that you hear
your friends kids saying andyou're just like, well, I you
(14:20):
know, ishonestly and I'm gonna be 1,000%
truthful. During this thisinterview because I don't like
sugarcoat anything. I reallyfelt disconnected for a long
time with my son, Mike. Itdidn't take until he was about
three and a half, almost fourfor us to reconnect, not saying
I don't want anybody to thinklike I didn't love my child and
I wasn't making sure he got whathe needed. But emotionally I
(14:42):
just didn't know what to dobecause he wasn't talking. I
didn't know what sensoryoverload May I didn't know what
a meltdown was. I didn't knowwhy he was screaming and having
to fit at the you know, SesameStreet concert. I didn't know
that it was like the lice andthe noises and
And him not be able tocommunicate with setting him
off. So it was like making melike, I just don't want to leave
(15:05):
the house, I don't want to takethem anywhere, because we're
only going to be there for 1520minutes and leave. Yeah. So we
go through child when I had towait till he was about three to
get him officially diagnosed.
But I was preparing myselfmentally that, you know, Levi
has autism, Levi has autism, Icried for about two weeks. And
honestly, social media really,even though it's the devil,
(15:25):
sometimes it really is alifesaver if you use it the way
that it was supposed to bedesigned to be used. And that's
to connect with people, yourtribe, build your tribe, people
who didn't even have to livedown the block, they don't have
to live in the same city, theycan be on the west coast, they
could be in another country, butthey're going through the same
journey you're going through atthe same exact time, or they've
been there and they know whatyou're going through, they know
(15:49):
that you're having sleeplessnights, they know that, you
know, you feel like, you know,everyone's judging you or
staring at you because your kidis having this high pitched
murder scream in the middle ofour four in a supermarket, and
you don't know how to take itdown a notch, you know, like,
it's, it's the light, and myheart always goes out to the
newly diagnosed, you know, kidswith the Paris edge is literally
(16:12):
get thrown in the fire becausethere is no blueprint that's
like, okay, your kid has autism,this is what you need to do.
It's kind of like you got towade through the storm. And I
was extremely blessed thateveryone that came into our
lives that was giving us thesupport services, they were
always referring me to someoneelse. So that's how I started
(16:33):
building you hear my son in thebackground?
I think I can I can totallyrelate to your son in the back.
Yes, okay.
And that's how over the years, Ihave built a network that I can
(16:56):
if someone were to message meand like I need help with
talking to someone about this, Iknow someone that Listen, this
person has an Instagram page, orI know them personally, let me
give you their contactinformation. So it's been really
helpful that I've learnedquickly how to build a network
of people that even if theycan't give me the answer, they
know someone else that can so iswhat I can say to parents that
(17:18):
are going through hearing mychild has autism, build your
tribe immediately, becauseyou're going to need that as the
journey goes on. Because itdoesn't get and I'm not going to
sugarcoat it, it doesn't geteasier. It's just different
hurdles, you got to jump asthese kids get older, like, what
I'm going through with Levi nowis an eight year old, I wasn't
(17:38):
going through when he was 2345.
So I'm pretty sure when he hits10 1112, that's going to be
another set of of hurdles, thatwe're going to get the word the
good through puberty, you know,my teenage years, you know, so
our kids are about the same age.
So I'm like, I'm not ready forthat yet. But I
(18:01):
hear you because I think whatyou've said a few things that as
you were talking, I was writingdown, you know, when he was
diagnosed or this the signs, youknow, I was the same as you and
I'm sure a lot of listeners wereI thought oh, maybe he's just
taking more time. And I, I lovethe person of not everybody
develops at the same pace. Andthese milestones are like, oh,
(18:21):
maybe he'll get there and justkind of wait through it. And I
noticed some things but theother people notice things, his
school, his teachers, or thethey're not teachers, I guess at
18 months, you know, but thedaycare staff, you know, family
members, like your mom, I thinkfor parents, is to listen to the
(18:41):
feedback. And I think sometimesthat can be difficult because if
somebody is telling yousomething negative about your
child or something that they'reseeing, that isn't something
you're necessarily ready toaccept. I think that is
something for just moms andparents to just be open to
hearing and listening to itdoesn't mean you have to do
anything right away. But atleast to hear it because then
(19:02):
like your your kind of storycame together and you took the
steps, you know, but you know,your mom is the one who really
pointed some of those thingsout. And so I think it's really
important for us parents toreally listen to that feedback
and and then what you said too,about not having any knowledge
and prior knowledge of autism.
And I think that's so true of somany special needs, whether it's
autism or any any kind ofdiagnosis, right, I think we
(19:25):
don't ever really know about ituntil we need to know about it.
And it's not something that'staught in anywhere really as a
general education for people. SoI think having that connection
like you said, building yourtribe, building your network,
understanding the people thatyou can trust and that you can
(19:45):
go to and building that I thinkis so critical because it is
something that you have tonavigate and even in every state
it's different. You know, likeyou were saying with the how it
works in Pennsylvania. It'sdifferent also in California,
where IAnd being able to navigate
because you said there's noblueprint and there isn't, you
know, it took me at least sixmonths to get through all of the
(20:06):
tests and the waiting and theanalysis and then getting the
services and figuring out Imean, it just is a lengthy
process. And so, like you said,really making sure you have that
level of support. And throughpeople who are going through the
same thing, because it's alittle different. When you talk
to other moms who don't aren'tgoing through this. It's it's
(20:27):
like, there's this barrier ofknowledge, and empathy and
compassion, that I find thatwhen I connect with other people
like yourself, shantay, when youwere talking, I was getting
teary, because I really relateto what you're saying. And
really finding those peoplebecause that is really what I
know, for me has gotten througha lot of different challenges.
(20:49):
And, and it sounds like for youtoo. And as you said, as Levi
gets older, as our kids getolder, it's different hurdles,
things kind of shift and changeconstantly. And to really have
that strong foundation, to beable to, to stand your ground on
that foundation to then be ableto pivot and move throughout
(21:09):
this journey, I think is soimportant that you brought up so
many really, really importantthings there for how you've
gotten through where and youknow, I think to something that
we talked about as well in whenwe talked before was about just
mental health, you know, ifyou're willing to share a little
bit about that, or your ownmental health, things that
you've gone through, because Iknow a lot of parents also go
(21:30):
through that also with anxietyand stress and things but and
also with Levi as well. So ifyou want to share a little bit
about that, too. Oh, absolutely.
So I was diagnosed with PTSD. Atthe end of 2019, Levi was
officially diagnosed with anadjustment disorder due to
(21:51):
trauma, the beginning of 2020.
Actually, let me take a stepback. He was Yeah, he was
diagnosed in 2019, as well. Hewas diagnosed in November, I was
diagnosed in December, whichthat ties into the new book that
I'm writing that ties intohelping with mental health. I
wrote a book called Are youokay, a story by echoboy. The
story is inspired by an incidentthat happened to Levi when he
(22:15):
was four and a half, almostfive, a family member was
reckless, and my son got out ofthe house in the middle of
winter with no clothes on andwas found wandering around the
neighborhood. And it wasn't asafe neighborhood. I'm able to
talk about it now withoutgetting like angry. But it used
to be really hard to talk aboutit because it was a trigger
point for me now that I'm in theprocess of, you know, going to
(22:37):
therapy, learning how to, yougot to talk about things that
get through things, our naturalreaction to things is to avoid
it, so that we don't have todeal with it. But in order to
get through it. So that is notsomething that has power over
you anymore. You got to talkabout it to get through it. So
basically, this book is reallyto help parents, I honestly
(23:00):
think parents are going to takeaway something from it, as well
as kids, because kids is goingto allow kids to open up and
talk about what's bothering me.
I'm having a terrible day in thebook I say is a terrible
terrible day have somebody savedthat you trust to open up about
to talk to the fact that I wentfive years on diagnosed with
(23:22):
PTSD, but making sure my son wasokay and was fully supported and
where he needed really surprisedthat I didn't have a nervous
breakdown and be committed to amental institution. I think
because I was just on automaticgo the whole time that Okay, we
got wraparound services, we havespeech therapy, we have ot we
have you know, behavior supportservices, we got to go to the
(23:45):
dentist, we got to go to thedoctor's office, I got to pick
them up from school, I got to goto work. So it was just you
know, a schedule was half of theschedule, that kind of, you
know, taking care of my mentalhealth was on the back burner.
But it all caught up on me in2019. I had to sit in the
doctor's office to talk aboutthat incident that I had been
avoiding of talking about and Ijust couldn't shake those
(24:05):
feelings like I was gettingagitated. I felt like I honestly
felt like I should haveprotected him more. And of
course, my therapist is like,you can't think like that. And I
said, I understand that. But asa mom, that's like the worst.
The second worst thing you everwant to you never want to get
that type of phone call thatsomeone found your child outside
with no clothes on wandering andit's the wintertime and winter
(24:28):
times here in Philly are prettybrutal is brick cold out here
during the wintertime, the factthat my son didn't Dart out in
the middle of the street to gethit by a car that someone didn't
kidnap him that really it was anangel walking this earth that
found him and made sure that hegot back to his grandmother's
house safely. It was just somany good things as some you
(24:49):
know, guy was protecting mychild and Angel was watching
over my child that we couldcelebrate another birthday. He's
still here, you know, because ina blink of eye he could not have
been here and that that's whatwas underlying factor in my PTSD
because like, I can't, if Ican't trust family to watch my
child, who else is gonna watchhim, that's how I was, you know,
and that wasn't helping withself care when I needed a break.
But I'm like, I don't trustanybody to watch my child
(25:11):
because guess what happened, Idon't want to put him through
that ever again, you know whatI'm saying. And then I started
noticing things that was out ofthe realm of typical behavior
for autistic kids. He had theselevels of rage that I just
couldn't control. And I didn'tknow where it was coming from.
It wasn't like defined behavioror a tantrum, or his normal.
(25:32):
Like, I don't want to do this.
You know, I'm not with it today.
It was more of anger, but reallykind of like something embed in
his brain that kept triggeringit, but because he can't
verbalize it, he's got to showit through actions. And so this
day, it still bothers me thatI'll never know exactly what
happened that day. Because theadults involved in his
(25:52):
situation, they weren't tellingthe truth. I know my child, but
I just felt like the people thatshould have been protecting him
should have been protecting himand they didn't. And all I can
do as his mom was recognize thatsomething else was off, I need
to get him support. So he's beenin outpatient therapy for the
last year and a half, and we'remaking progress there. He can
verbalize how he's feeling andrecognize even when I'm not
(26:15):
myself, and he's like, Mom,what's wrong? Are you okay? So
that's actually what promptedthe title of Are you okay?
Because that's his goes to lie.
Like, are you okay? And I thinkin writing this, I was kind of
hesitant. I'm not even gonnalie, Susan, I was really
hesitant and writing it becauseI said, eventually, I'm gonna
have to read the story to kidsand wanted to sit and do
(26:36):
storytime with kids. And how amI going to process this as I'm
reading it, because it's goingto bring up that day, you know,
but then I said, this is a storythat needs to be told, I'm not
going to go into full detail ofthe incident that happened,
because I don't want to ifthere's a child that went
through trauma, I don't wantthem to be re traumatized
reading the book, I want them tofeel like echo boys giving them
(26:56):
a big hug, I want them to feellike you know, someone
understands them, someone is,you know, in their corner, and I
want them to feel thatconnection to echo boy, because
he is a real person is you knowthat. And that's what's so
beautiful about this characteris that this is a living,
breathing child, you know that Iturned into a superhero, but
just know that, you know,whatever you're going through,
(27:18):
he's there for you. And takingcare of your mental health is
extremely important. Don't letthat be a taboo. Don't let
people make you feel like whyare you going to go see a
therapist when he talking to acomplete stranger, sometimes
talking to people that know youis not the best route to go
because it's his bias, becausethey already know you they know
your past, they know you insideand out. I would rather talk to
(27:39):
someone who doesn't know me froma canopy, you know, they're
unbiased. They're just going offby observation, and helping me
to get where I need to be. Andit was just a lot of things. It
was the toxic relationshipbetween me and his dad, his dad
not being involved as much as heshould, being ashamed that his
son had autism, it was just alot that was piling up the best
(28:00):
advice I can give a lot ofpeople when you hold on to
anger, and you hold on toemotions that people inflict on
you, you have to learn to let itgo. Because then you can't get
past that and grow and heal.
It's almost like constantlyreopening a wound that you won't
allow to heal because you can't.
(28:21):
And I don't want to sound likeit's easier. It's not easier
said than done. Because a lot ofthings people go through it
takes it's a journey to getthrough it and get past it. Like
for me, I'm not the same personemotionally that I was six years
ago, I had to really reevaluatea lot of things in my life. And
the major thing was, I cannotreact to things that his dad was
(28:42):
doing to bring out a differentside of me. And I said, I really
just have to drown out thenegativity, focus on me Focus on
my son, and I'm in a much betterplace than I've been in the last
few years and to see my sonflourish and be happy and
thrive. That's all I want. Buttaking care of your mental is so
(29:02):
important is just as as asimportant as your physical
health, you're no good to yourkids. If you're stressed out. If
you're always having an anxietyattack, trust me, I bet
especially through the pandemic,I've had a couple of PCs, the
episodes last year, multipleanxiety attacks, but I know how
to cope with it now because Ihave those tools given to me by
(29:23):
my therapist, and then also myson's there, but she helps me as
well. So I it kind of piggybacksoff of kind of get the double
dose of of support, which isamazing. Everyone doesn't have
that. So I'm extremely gratefulthat I have that support. But it
goes back to building that tribenot just for resources and
services, but you need thattribe for your mental health.
Because if you if you allowyourself to drown in those
(29:46):
emotions, you're never going toget to the surface of it ever
again. Because you're constantlyjust drowning, drowning,
drowning, drowning, drowning,and you're not going to see that
peace. You're not going to getthat sense of like, I'm not
alone.
As I have, you know, people whogenuinely care and that want to
see everything the for the bestfor me, you know? Yes. And
(30:10):
that's why I'm always 100%honest about mental health, you
got to talk about it, becauseyou just never know whoever is
listening. So anyone that'slistening, if you're going
through depression, anxiety, youare not alone. Don't ever feel
like that. There's so manyresources out there to help, you
know, things will get better.
This is, you know, I don't Idon't I never want to sugarcoat
things. But I also like to keepthings positive to things get
(30:31):
tough. Yeah. But things do getbetter. So as always, those
hills and valleys? Yeah,absolutely, I think you touched
on so many different things thatare so important to recognize
here, especially related to whenyou're getting your son set up
with all of his services. Andyou're really focused on the
things that he needs really notpaying attention to yourself and
focusing on self care and yourmental health. And I think
(30:55):
that's a message that's soimportant for parents,
especially in the beginning,when they find out a diagnosis,
they're trying to figure out allof the resources and all of the
steps that need to happen toreally still pay attention to
what's going on with yourself.
And you're absolutely right, ofletting things go the healing
process. And that that takes alot of time as well. And I think
(31:16):
it's so important for familiesto really try to work through
their emotions, and work throughgetting those things out,
because they will come out andmanifest in other ways. And the
more that we can take care ofourselves, the better we can be
for supporting our kids andhelping them get through also
what they're going through. So Ithink you really touched on so
(31:36):
many important things forparents, and thank you for being
so open about your mental healthchallenges with PTSD and
anxiety. And I struggle withanxiety, too. I've had a lot of
anxiety attacks over the years,and have figured out ways to
cope and to use different toolsto get through that. But I think
it's so important that you'reyou know, you're speaking your
(31:57):
truth, and that you're openabout it, because I believe that
it does help a lot of otherpeople. So thank you for being
so vulnerable and open with us.
And I really wanted to justswitch gears actually and get
into your library of books. Sothroughout this episode, we've
talked about different booksthat you've had. So maybe you
can tell us all of the booksthat you have available. And I
would say that I don't want togive anything away about your
(32:19):
new book that's coming out. Butyou did read me excerpts of your
new book. And I was in tearswhen we were on the phone
together. And so I just am soexcited for this book to get out
there and for people to hear itand read it and share it with as
many parents and other kids aspossible. So tell us about your
(32:41):
library of books, and also wherethey can find your books. Yes,
all of the books are availableon Amazon, the poetry books,
which those titles are my lifeand puzzle pieces, respect the
spectrum. Those are specificallyfor the parents, you'll get some
insight on me as a parent, how Iwas feeling when Levi was first
(33:04):
diagnosed, how I was feelingwhen he goes through a meltdown,
just being a single parent andtrying to navigate through
heartbreak from a relationshipthat didn't work out to having
to be Mom and Dad, you know, formy son is I get really personal
in in those books you get. Youget a lot of me in those poetry
(33:25):
books, the children's books, Idon't even think I mentioned
this one to you, Susan, when wewere talking on the phone, but I
do have another one that's moreof a social story type of book.
And it's called Levi's world.
Levi's world is actually my veryfirst children's book before
I've even thought about echoboyABC girl, I wanted to write a
(33:46):
story that was told from Levi'spoint of view is just a very
simple book. I took all of thesepictures that I had of him from
preschool because I was aroundthe time that I wrote him when
he was coming out of preschoolinto kindergarten and just
wanted to give you like hispoint of view. So it was like
him in the playground him andhis class doing sensor replay is
(34:06):
such a cute book. That one isnot on Amazon that's actually on
lulu.com. But you can purchasethat on that website. I love
that books to death. Also, theadventures of echoboy ABC girl
that's on Amazon. I have anamazing coloring book. There's
also a story as well as ABCgirls book. That title is called
(34:27):
the wonderful world of ABCs withABC girl so she'll take you
through the ABCs and her ownversion. She talks about things
she loves things she loves aboutLevi values that she has learned
that she wants to share withkids and some important facts
about autism. So as a super cutebow, you can color the entire
book because her magic CRAN iswhat helps her turns into ABC
(34:51):
girl the new new book that isabout 92% almost finished. We're
working on the artwork rightnow.
The story is completely done.
And Susan was one of very fewthat gets to listen to the
entire story. And I trulyappreciate your feedback on on
the story. I really can't waitfor parents to read it. Because
to read it, I'm even thinkingabout doing an audio book for
(35:13):
it. Because of just the feel ofthe story. I think audio wise
would be amazing. Visually, thisbook is just beautiful. From the
illustrations I've gotten sofar. Reggie Byers, I in any
interview, I can never leave himout because he is the one that
took my ideas in my head andbrought them to life. So every
time you read any of thosebooks, you do see his name on
(35:34):
the cover illustrated by ReggieByers, but he's just as
connected to these characters asI am. And I couldn't imagine
anyone else that will pour somuch love and joy into these
books because all I did was sendhim the manuscript for Are you
okay? And what he's been givingme so far. I started getting
emotional. So I'm like, and Itold him like, How am I supposed
(35:56):
to read this book to kid youknow, visually now, like it was
one to just read it, like when Iwas reading it to you, Susan.
But for now had the visuals togo with it. I'm going to cry at
least a couple first couple oftimes reading the book, but it's
such an important book I can'twait for you know, everyone to
read it. I do plan on having avirtual launch party for the
(36:19):
book. So I will be postinginformation because I want to
see new faces, people that havecontinued to support me. Ask Me
Anything you want to askconcerning the book. I'll do
storytime I'm even thinkingabout because I think it gives
that bedtime feeling becauseit's a short book is perfect to
read to the kids before going tobed. I may do some inner minute
story bedtime storytime on AEGlive, Facebook Live and Twitter
(36:44):
live. I may even get Levi toactually read the story because
I'm always finding new uniqueways to help build his reading
skills. So you may even getthere once or twice. I just
can't wait. I the support so farfor the book, and it hasn't even
come out yet has been soamazing. So I can't wait for all
of you to read it. I alwaysappreciate feedback. I'm very
(37:05):
social on social media. So youcan find me on Instagram. You
can find me on Facebook andTwitter. My Instagram is eco
boys mom 82. Or you can followmy business page which is eco
boy and ABC girl FacebookShantae Douglas Twitter, Levi's
mom 82. So yeah, messaged me,you know, get any questions, you
(37:27):
just want to vent your questionsabout the book, you want to give
me some feedback. I love whenyou guys send me pictures and
videos of your kids reading thebook or you know, just want to
take pictures with the book. Ilove that because I post them on
my business page on Facebook.
And I do have a business page onFacebook, which is the
adventures of echoboy ABC girlso you can follow that page. I
(37:48):
do keep everything current onthere. So I'm always posting
events, and I'm at updates onthe books that I'm working on.
This will be the last project of2021. for writing, I'm going to
be taking a break because thenext project that I'm working on
is so major that I need at leastanother year to work on this
project because I have a wholeteam of kids coming. And it's a
(38:09):
lot to develop five newcharacters and their background
stories. And visually so youwill see some visuals of these
characters coming in 2022. Butthe book and and what it's going
to be about I'll start talkingabout that in 2022. For right
now I just want to focus on whenare you okay? Because I think
(38:30):
after what we've all been goingthrough, and I've been reading a
couple articles in 2020 kidshave been seen more depressed, a
lot of anxiety, stress, becausewe got to think about it. Kids
are supposed to be naturallysocial, you take that away from
them, you know, they're notunderstanding, I can't go to my
best friend's house to celebratetheir birthday, I can't go to
grandma's house, I can't go seemy I can't go see my uncle, I
(38:53):
can't go see my favorite persondown the street because we have
the social distance. I can't seemy classmates, I miss going to
school and then for our kids,which really is a shame that I
feel like they really justtotally forgot about the
autistic community that you havekids who thrive on structure and
a schedule. And you shut schooldown there used to alright I get
(39:16):
a my mom makes me breakfast. Iput my clothes on when we leave
the house. She takes me toschool. I do my routine at
school, I get on a school busand I come home. And then it
just totally flip flops and I'mhome all the time. And I have to
sit in front of a computer and Ihave no interactions except with
the people that live with me inthe house. So it's a while so I
(39:38):
really wanted to start 2021 withhailing. I think we overlook the
fact that our kids are goingthrough just as much as we are
as adults. I mean as adults. Youknow, we're paying the bills
were the providers, but the kidsyou know, we didn't have to
worry about that. When we weregrowing up. We didn't have a
pandemic when we were you know,in elementary school, middle
school or high school and kidsgot to go to their prom
(40:00):
Their graduations and hugemilestones that you look forward
to, as you're growing up that alot of these kids cannot
experience last year so thatthat can play into a lot of the
mental health and we need toallow them to feel like I'm not
okay. And so what's wrong? Iwant to open that dialogue. I
know as crazy as it sounds,sometimes when you come up with
a character, and they havesomething relatable to what you
(40:23):
as a kid might be going throughlike, Wow, well, echoboy really
went through like a terrible,terrible day. And he's telling
me it's okay to not be okay. SoMom, look, this is how I've been
feeling like, that's what whatwe need to start developing this
year is having that opendialogue, we need to get those
feelings out, we need to getthose emotions out. It's just so
(40:44):
important. Another person toldme that once I because I kind of
I try to let at least two orthree people read the manuscript
before this goes to print beforeit gets formatted all of it,
even before the illustrations.
Because if I don't get a goodvibe from how people react to
the story, I got to go back andtweak it or whatever. So before
I even let you read it, Susan, Ilet Reggie who's the
(41:07):
illustrator, I let him read itbecause of course, he's going to
have to read it because he hasto get that vibe of how visually
I'm going to set off each eachpage, right? So when I sent it
to him, he immediately messagedme, he's like, he's like, I'm a
grown man. And you know, Ishouldn't be dropping a tear.
But he's like, what you justwrote was beautiful. He said, it
(41:29):
feels like a giant hug. And Iwas like, wow, like, just to
hear that. And me not to getemotional right now. But when I
was writing it when I write andlike, I think I told you this
before Susan, like when I write,I am in the moment. And I write
visually, if that makes anysense to anyone that's
listening. Like when you'rewriting something, you visualize
(41:49):
what you're writing, like, whenI was writing echoboy, ABC girl,
I was visualizing how I wantedmy kids to look, and how I
wanted certain scenes to playout and how Reggie connected to
that, without me even sayinganything to him, it was just him
reading what I wrote. And to putthat together, I cried, the
whole entire time that book wasbeing made every time he would
send me an illustration, I wouldstart crying. That's how
(42:10):
emotionally connected I am tothese books. Even the coloring
book. As simple as that maysound visually, I didn't know
how it was going to convey whenI was writing it. And actually,
that was really probably themost difficult to go through the
alphabet. And like what what'sgoing to stand out for these
kids what's really going to belike, oh, okay, so a of course I
wanted to start off as forautism, each page, when you look
(42:31):
at it is something different.
And something visually, youknow, in what I loved is that I
want these kids to color thebook, the way you think in these
to look through your eyes. Soyou have that immediate
connection. It's so important tome when I'm creating projects
that you got to be connected toyour audience because that's how
(42:51):
you build that, you know, thatwriter reader relationship, I'm
very thoughtful in what I what Idecide to do with characters
what I decide to do with a storyand you have to write
fearlessly, you have to writewith emotion, because especially
with kids, their brains aresponges, you know, I still have
books that I remember when I wasa kid reading and how it
impacted me just like visuallyand just have a story was that I
(43:13):
carried through as an adult.
That's how I want these books tobe, I want to be like, I was so
ready. I want to be a crossbetween Dr. Seuss. And Stanley,
I want to I want to be thatpioneer that creates a universe
of kids with special abilities.
I want to have those books thatstand the test of time. I want
to be my own version of that. Iwant to I want to have that
(43:35):
legacy that Dr. Seuss head withhis books. You know what I'm
saying? Like, I want kids10 1520 years from now. Oh,
remember the adventures of echoboy ABC girl? Oh my god, like I
remember getting that as a kidand reading it or are you okay?
Like, that's the perfect, youknow, I went Paris for
generations to buy that book asa bedtime story. Or Biden is a
baby shower gift. Like this issuch a classic book you need to
(43:58):
like that's where I that's thelegacy I want to leave as a
writer and even if you know it'snot even about selling millions
of copies if I can touch onefamily and and inspire the next
generation of writers or inspirekids to be like, well, ABC girl
is awesome. And a lot of girlsare really, really love and ABC
or was warms my heart becauseshe you know, she was totally
(44:20):
created out of love and reallyjust like a like a baby like
really I gave birth to to thatlittle girl and just the
response I've gotten from herreally warms my heart and
cuisine. Everyone loves echoboybecause Levi's amazing. He's a
rock star in his own right. Ican't wait. So this book is out.
Are you okay? It's a small book,but it's going to be probably a
(44:44):
bigger impact than I think theadventures of echoboy ABC girl
Well, I don't like to comparethe two because they're all my
babies and I love them all indifferent ways. Just like kids.
I'm so emotionally connected tothis story because it's really
tapping into things. I don'treally see too much which
books because a lot of authorsor people just assume you need
to stay away from certainsubjects when you're talking to
(45:06):
kids, but I think what's how theworld is and how the next
generation of kids are, you needto be open and honest with them.
Kids are highly intelligent, youknow what I'm saying? Like cages
have, you know, unicorns andrainbows. And those are cute,
and I love them. But that's notreality. And that's not that's
not what kids are living everyday, we got kids that don't have
(45:26):
the resources and things thatare needed, we got to take that
in consideration. I'm superexcited, please follow me. It's
always posted updates oneverything that I'm working on.
I'm excited. I'm so well, I amso excited for you and so
thrilled about Are you okay, andI will vote for you to do an
(45:47):
audio reading of it and audibleor whatever that's called,
because when you read the bookto me shantay it was so touching
and pulled on so many of myemotions, I could feel the
compassion and the the love thatyou have in this book, it
transcended To me it just byyour voice and read in you
(46:09):
reading it to me. So it was justso incredible. And I think when
we were talking after you readthat to me, I had to take a
pause because I was trying tohold back some pretty ugly
tears, ugly crying that wascoming out it was it was just
beautifully written.
It was absolutely beautifullywritten. And I'm excited to see
(46:29):
the illustrations too. Becausefrom what you're you're telling
me it's it's going to resonatewith so many different people of
all different age groups. AndI'm so excited for that to come
out for you too. And you knowwhat, something that you said
that I wrote down while you weretalking just now was make it a
reality to make it relatable.
And I think that's so important.
(46:51):
And I love that you are talkingabout the reality of what's
going on and not reallysugarcoating it. I mean, to an
extent right with kids books,but you're addressing the
elephant in the room, you'retalking about what people are
not talking about. But I do youbelieve in exactly what you said
that it becomes more relatablewhen you you talk about what is
(47:11):
actually happening and not justsweeping it under the rug, not
putting the unicorns and therainbows and all that because I
love those things too. But thatisn't reality. And we can't
actually push through thesechallenges without addressing
them directly and head on. And Ijust think that you are so
creative, and so inspiring. Imean, I'm saying this, I'm
getting goosebumps right now,because you've taken all of
(47:33):
these topics you've taken, youknow, challenges that you've
been through seeing things thatyour son is going through and
putting them into books that arehelping other people not only
feel that they're not alone, togive them hope to also feel
inspired and to educate people.
And you know, like you said,These books are not just for
kids who have autism or specialneeds. They're also for other
(47:54):
kids to learn, and to supportother parents and to give other
families hope. And that isexactly what this podcast is all
about to is building thoseconnections, giving other family
members hope that they are notalone, and providing the
resources to and I think thatyou're doing all of those
things. And I just think you'rejust an amazing person and
(48:14):
amazing soul. And starting 2021with healing. I know that you've
gone through so much healingthroughout your journey. And
many of us parents are alsotrying to work through healing a
lot of different emotions thatwe go through and working
through our own journeys. And Ithink you're just such an
inspiration. And I think a lotof people can learn from you and
(48:35):
from your books. And I willinclude all of the links to
everything that you mentioned.
so that people know not only howto find you how they can
communicate with you how theycan purchase your books, and how
they can start those dialogueswithin their own families in
their own journey. So I justwant to thank you so much for
dropping so much advice toparents to throughout this
(48:59):
talking about your books andwhere they come from, because I
know that they stem from thisdeepness within you, and you're
letting all of that out whichI'm sure is also healing for you
too. And I just want to thankyou so much for being with me
today and to sharing your storyto being so open and vulnerable.
And you know, with the intentionon helping other parents and
(49:22):
other families so thank you somuch on Tay thank you so much
Susan. It was really a pleasuretalking to you today and even on
the phone like we I just feltthat genuine connection. I mean,
we're on opposite sides of thecoast but you know, we have that
common bond uh, you know,advocating for our kids and
you're doing amazing things Ifollow you, you know, on
Instagram and you're you're abeam of light as well. So you
(49:43):
know, I want to shout you out aswell. And you are a light in
this world as well. So you know,thank you for even having this
podcast and technology is soamazing. It can be used for good
or evil but the good of it isthat it just allows you to
connect with people that you maynot have a chance to even talk
toSo thank you for that, you know,
you're you're amazing in yourown right. And you know, you're
doing amazing things with yourson. So that's all I can say,
(50:05):
anyone who is listening, you arenot alone. We Shantae and Susan,
here are examples of people whoare connecting and that you can
connect with. So we'll you know,contact us DMS, email us,
whatever you need to do if youare feeling alone, reach out to
build your support group. Andknow that there are people like
(50:27):
us and other moms out there whocan also support you. So thank
you, again, so much on Tay, forbeing with me today and for
dropping so much advice and fortelling us all about your
journey and your book. So I hopeeveryone who's listening will go
out and buy your books and whenyour new book drops, I hope that
they'll follow you to find outwhen that becomes available with
(50:50):
Are you okay, so thank you againso much on tape. It was so
lovely talking to you today andI really appreciate you Oh,
thank you
Hey everyone, and welcome to the rise with the
light podcast. My name is SusanFink and this is my weekly
podcast dedicated to supportingfamilies raising children with
special needs. I'm on a missionto provide hope and positivity
through sharing my personalinsights, stories, mindset
perspectives, and ways tonavigate through this journey.
Let's get started.
(00:50):
Hey, everyone, and thank you somuch for joining us today I have
an amazing guests with meshantay Douglas. She is a single
mother and autism advocate, amilitary veteran, having served
in the Air Force and a publishedauthor bringing awareness and
advocacy to the autismcommunity. So thank you so much,
shantay, for joining me today,I'm so happy that we've
(01:12):
connected and that we've gottento know each other a little bit.
And I'm excited for ourlisteners to hear your story and
also to hear about some of thebooks that you have, and
especially the new book that'scoming out. Thank you so much
for joining me today. shantay.
Thank you so much for having me,Susan, I really appreciate you
inviting me on to your podcast.
Yeah, I'm just happy to be here.
I would really love ourlisteners to learn more about
(01:33):
you and to hear your story andto hear about your son as well.
I am a single mom, I'm fromPhiladelphia, Pennsylvania. If
you're from the east coast,please visit us on the east
coast. We are nice peopledespite what people say.
I will be actually turning 39 atthe end of this month. So my
(01:54):
birthday is coming up. I'mexcited about that. I am a
mother of an amazing eight yearold His name is Levi he is the
love of my life, the light of myworld. He really is the one that
really made me the person that Iam how I see the world now how I
just view things as far as withpeople and just learning more
(02:16):
about myself because he's justhe's so unapologetically him.
That is even inspires me to notbe afraid of being my truthful
self. Yeah, he's he's, ofcourse, he's the focal point of
my books. He's the reason I evenwanted to really start writing
the first book, The Adventuresof echoboy. And ABC girl, I just
(02:38):
light up every semester talkingabout that book, because really
what influenced me, of course,it was my son, Levi, but it was
also taking him to go see Enterto spider verse with Mao's
mirallas. And seeing this brownkid with curly hair dress as his
favorite superhero and howconnected he was to miles even
(02:59):
to this day. I mean, that moviecame out about three, four years
ago now, but just how connectedhe was. And then when Black
Panther came out, and howimpactful that was to kids of
color singing all the entirecast was pretty much you know,
of color, and how impactful thatmovie was. And then like just
(03:19):
going through children's books,and I'm like, I'm not seeing
enough black kids, brown kidswith autism being represented,
you know, in books. So I came upwith the idea of creating a
superhero based off my son. Andyeah, it was, you know, it's a
labor of love. I don't even lookat it as work. Like when I'm
creating these, these storiesand these characters, it's
(03:40):
really just a labor of love. ABCgirl, actually, I get I get this
question all the time. Like,I'll get a couple pairs message
me like who is Jasmine who isABC girl, and I'm like, Well, if
I ever had a daughter, it wouldhave been her. And I put a
little bit of my personality inher. So she's very feisty, she
stands up for Levi, she's theone that understands he's a very
(04:03):
visual person. So that's why herabilities are she has a magic
crayon. She can think of anyletter of the alphabet and
create pictures from it. Andthat's how she communicates with
with echoboy. So when he seesthat he knows exactly what she's
trying to communicate and I kindof pull I pull a lot of things
from everyday life because Leviis very visual. So even when
(04:24):
we're learning math problems andjust basic things, everything
has to be visual for him toconnect to it and kind of grasp
it. And with ABC girl, ABCactually stands for always be
kind and caring. So always droplittle jewels. There's a lot of
little jewels that I drop in thebook that you may not realize
until you ask me and I startgoing into detail with the book.
(04:45):
The other reason I decided forher to do the alphabet is
because literacy is so importantand it's a tool that is not a
major priority in the brown andblack community as far as the
education system and you have aLot of random black kids who
don't have access to readingthat a lot of the libraries are
closed down. Funding is notthere for kids to have access to
reading. And reading is soimportant because it unlocks
(05:08):
your imagination, and helps tolearn new things and expand on
vocabulary. And if you take thataway, you're taking an ability
to expand the mind. And if youcan't expand the mind, then is
limiting your capabilities,which is why I'm so passionate.
There's another passion of mineof just promoting literacy and
going into our communities thatare not being supported,
(05:30):
especially during a pandemicright now that they're like the
Forgotten people. And resourcesare limited. And literacy is one
of those resources as limited.
So I really wanted to connect alot but not be preachy in that
book, but I do take it deeperwhen you ask me about it. So
that was the everything thatkind of conveys ABC girl
(05:51):
echoboy. The reason for echoboyI wanted to put a positive light
on echolalia, which really hisversion of echolalia is really
amazing. I mean, my son can heara sound and repeat it Pitch
Perfect. He can sing one pitch,like it's really amazing how he
can he can imitate an entire,like all different noises of a
(06:11):
video game. Like I hear it somuch now that I'm like, okay,
that's Sonic, that'ssupermarket. That's Family Feud.
That's real afford to buyanything, that's a very distinct
sale, he can even mimic certainsales of a car so he could
imitate the engine, the muffler,the tire screeching the racing,
(06:31):
countdown lights, he can imitatethat, like it's, it blows my
mind how really, he's aneveryday real life superhero to
me. So it's easy to pull thingsfrom him that I'm observing and
write about it and make it funand educational for neurotypical
kids to read. So if even if yourkid doesn't have autism, I
wouldn't I want you to read thisbook to your kids. If your kid
(06:54):
does have autism, I want them tofeel like they're not. They're
not alone in this world. Andthey're celebrate it. And
they're amazing in their ownunique way. And I want parents
that have kids with autism tofeel like you know what, we're
embracing this, we're gonna liveunapologetically autism. And
that's our life. Don't evenworry about what people think or
feel, or whatever how they viewthings. Because there's always
(07:16):
gonna no matter how hard us asparents are going to advocate
for our kids, there's alwaysgoing to be ignorance, there's
always going to be people whofeel like, you know, well, these
kids don't, don't deserve to dothis or don't, don't need that,
or whatever. But take that andlet that be your fuel to keep
advocating and going hard foryour kids. Because if we don't
believe in them, nobody else isgoing to believe in if we don't
(07:37):
instill that confidence now andplant that seed now. As they get
older, they're going to feellike Well, my mom really just
didn't believe in me. And shemade me feel like I was ashamed
to have autism. And I was tryingso hard to be quote, unquote,
normal or whatever, I never wantthat to come out of Levi's
mouth, I always want him to feellike my mom was my rock. She She
was behind me 1,000% like, youknow, I have I have him tattooed
(08:00):
on my arm. You know, I don'tthink any other pair on the
planet has their kid as asuperhero.
That is amazing. When you sentme the photos of your tattoo, I
was like, wow, that number onethat's a committed mom right
there because I have never had atattoo because I'm afraid to get
one because of the pain. Butnumber two, that you turned your
(08:23):
son into a superhero andembraced the echolalia and
embraced some of what peoplewould see as a challenge. But a
lot of times as moms who areadvocates and supportive and
want our children to succeed andfeel that love and acceptance,
you know, accepting these thingsthat are just different, right,
the echolalia. And it's such agift that you've turned that
(08:46):
into this amazing story thattells people about what this is,
but also to support otherchildren, like you just said,
and to educate other childrenthat don't have autism or other
special needs that this is areally unique, you know,
individual and everybody'sdifferent. And we need to be
inclusive in the world. Right.
So I just think I mean, yourcommitment, because you have
(09:08):
that tattooed right there. I'mlike, when you told me that I
was just like, Wow, that is acommitment and amazing and the
story that the reason why youcreated echoboy and ABC girl and
like you said there was apurpose and intention around
those characters. And there isso much richness behind all of
the things that you chose to dowith these characters and the
(09:32):
stories that you're telling andthe supportiveness of ABC girl
to echoboy and the visuallearning and incorporating the
literacy aspect of it. I mean,it's just amazing. All of these
things that you pull together tobring like a really fun and
entertaining books and storiesto people. I mean, that's You're
so talented. I'm like blown awayand still blown away even after
(09:55):
we've already spoken before, butI'm still
blown away. Thank you, Susan.
You're welcome. Yeah, I wouldlove to hear I think our
audience needs love to hearabout about your son's autism.
And what were some of thechallenges that you ran into,
you know, at the diagnosis andthroughout over the years, you
know, and how you've workedthrough to overcome some of
(10:16):
those things. I know thatwriting for you, as you were a
poetry author, too, and writingfor you, is an outlet, right to
express your emotions and to beable to release a lot of things.
And so tell us a little bitabout when Levi was diagnosed,
and the things that you weregoing through, especially as a
parent, because you know, wehave a lot of parent listeners.
And that's one thing I alwayslike to get out of guests on the
(10:39):
show is how did you, you know,come about autism for your son?
How did you feel? What were thethings that you were going
through? And how did you workthrough some of those things to
become who you are now and thestrength that you have from your
journey? Yeah, I want to shoutout my mom, because if it wasn't
for her, I really wouldn't havepaid attention to some behaviors
that he was exhibiting. And hewas really young at the time, I
(11:02):
want to say leave I wasn't evento and I was working crazy hours
at a hospital overnight shift.
So I was like zombie mode, I hadjust gotten out of a really
toxic rocky relationship withhis dad. So really, like my head
was just like, on a swivel atthat point. So my mom called me
one day, and the tone of hervoice just seemed off, and she's
(11:25):
like, I really need to talk toyou about something. And I'm
like, What? And she's like, Ijust was noticing some things
that Levi was doing that made mewant to Google some things when
autism. And I'm like, Well, whatis he doing? Because at that
time, like I said, he was only1819 months old, right? And I
wasn't really paying attentionthat his vocabulary wasn't where
(11:48):
it should be, or he's not, youknow, sometimes kids just need
to take time to develop or, youknow, catch up with the other
kids. And she's like, I think hehas autism. And wish he said
that I had no prior knowledge ofautism, except for a 2020
special I have watched years agowhere there was which actually
people still use to this dayhorse therapy with kids with
(12:09):
autism to help withcommunication. And because
horses are so intelligent,they're truly connected to
humans as far as feelingbehaviors, and emotions and all
of that. So that was the onlything I knew about autism. So it
took me I want to Honestly, ittook me like a good week and a
half to kind of marinate thatand decide what I was going to
do next. So what's the worstcase scenario that Yeah, there
(12:32):
may be something developmentallygoing on with him. No, there
isn't. So I call hispediatrician because that was,
that was the only thing I knewat that time, like, call the
doctor, if they don't know,they'll refer you to somebody.
So we went to the pediatrician,she did her 18 month marker
evaluation, I forgot what theycall it, but you know what I'm
talking about. Um, so she, shehad me fill out the
(12:53):
questionnaire and a lot of itwas no, I know, he's not doing
this. He's not doing that. No,no, wasn't making eye contact,
wouldn't even acknowledge thatsomeone was coming in in the
room. So she said, technically,the only thing I can tell you is
there's definitely adevelopmental delay going on.
And immediately, I startedcrying, because I didn't even
know what that meant at thattime. So I'm crying. And in the
(13:14):
doctor's office, his dad waswith me. And when I looked at
him, already knew mentally hechecked out. You know, like, he
didn't understand it either. Butme and him took two different
routes as far as emotionallytrying to handle you know,
what's going on with our son. SoI'm crying. And I'm like,
Alright, so what's the nextstep?
The doctors like? Well, we'regoing to refer you to
(13:36):
challenging so I know probably alot of your listeners aren't
from the Philadelphia area, andevery agency is different per
state. But in Philadelphia,there are two agencies, one is
called Chow link. And theyprovide services for children
who are from birth to age two,for developmental delays for
services support services. Soshe referred us to chat when
(13:58):
talent comes out, they do anevaluation, and I'm all new to
this. Like, you just feel likepeople are poking and prying
into your life. Like, is hedoing this? Is he doing that?
And you know, and it's like toadmit that Okay, he's not saying
mom or dad or you know, I loveyou or everything that you hear
your friends kids saying andyou're just like, well, I you
(14:20):
know, ishonestly and I'm gonna be 1,000%
truthful. During this thisinterview because I don't like
sugarcoat anything. I reallyfelt disconnected for a long
time with my son, Mike. Itdidn't take until he was about
three and a half, almost fourfor us to reconnect, not saying
I don't want anybody to thinklike I didn't love my child and
I wasn't making sure he got whathe needed. But emotionally I
(14:42):
just didn't know what to dobecause he wasn't talking. I
didn't know what sensoryoverload May I didn't know what
a meltdown was. I didn't knowwhy he was screaming and having
to fit at the you know, SesameStreet concert. I didn't know
that it was like the lice andthe noises and
And him not be able tocommunicate with setting him
off. So it was like making melike, I just don't want to leave
(15:05):
the house, I don't want to takethem anywhere, because we're
only going to be there for 1520minutes and leave. Yeah. So we
go through child when I had towait till he was about three to
get him officially diagnosed.
But I was preparing myselfmentally that, you know, Levi
has autism, Levi has autism, Icried for about two weeks. And
honestly, social media really,even though it's the devil,
(15:25):
sometimes it really is alifesaver if you use it the way
that it was supposed to bedesigned to be used. And that's
to connect with people, yourtribe, build your tribe, people
who didn't even have to livedown the block, they don't have
to live in the same city, theycan be on the west coast, they
could be in another country, butthey're going through the same
journey you're going through atthe same exact time, or they've
been there and they know whatyou're going through, they know
(15:49):
that you're having sleeplessnights, they know that, you
know, you feel like, you know,everyone's judging you or
staring at you because your kidis having this high pitched
murder scream in the middle ofour four in a supermarket, and
you don't know how to take itdown a notch, you know, like,
it's, it's the light, and myheart always goes out to the
newly diagnosed, you know, kidswith the Paris edge is literally
(16:12):
get thrown in the fire becausethere is no blueprint that's
like, okay, your kid has autism,this is what you need to do.
It's kind of like you got towade through the storm. And I
was extremely blessed thateveryone that came into our
lives that was giving us thesupport services, they were
always referring me to someoneelse. So that's how I started
(16:33):
building you hear my son in thebackground?
I think I can I can totallyrelate to your son in the back.
Yes, okay.
And that's how over the years, Ihave built a network that I can
(16:56):
if someone were to message meand like I need help with
talking to someone about this, Iknow someone that Listen, this
person has an Instagram page, orI know them personally, let me
give you their contactinformation. So it's been really
helpful that I've learnedquickly how to build a network
of people that even if theycan't give me the answer, they
know someone else that can so iswhat I can say to parents that
(17:18):
are going through hearing mychild has autism, build your
tribe immediately, becauseyou're going to need that as the
journey goes on. Because itdoesn't get and I'm not going to
sugarcoat it, it doesn't geteasier. It's just different
hurdles, you got to jump asthese kids get older, like, what
I'm going through with Levi nowis an eight year old, I wasn't
(17:38):
going through when he was 2345.
So I'm pretty sure when he hits10 1112, that's going to be
another set of of hurdles, thatwe're going to get the word the
good through puberty, you know,my teenage years, you know, so
our kids are about the same age.
So I'm like, I'm not ready forthat yet. But I
(18:01):
hear you because I think whatyou've said a few things that as
you were talking, I was writingdown, you know, when he was
diagnosed or this the signs, youknow, I was the same as you and
I'm sure a lot of listeners wereI thought oh, maybe he's just
taking more time. And I, I lovethe person of not everybody
develops at the same pace. Andthese milestones are like, oh,
(18:21):
maybe he'll get there and justkind of wait through it. And I
noticed some things but theother people notice things, his
school, his teachers, or thethey're not teachers, I guess at
18 months, you know, but thedaycare staff, you know, family
members, like your mom, I thinkfor parents, is to listen to the
(18:41):
feedback. And I think sometimesthat can be difficult because if
somebody is telling yousomething negative about your
child or something that they'reseeing, that isn't something
you're necessarily ready toaccept. I think that is
something for just moms andparents to just be open to
hearing and listening to itdoesn't mean you have to do
anything right away. But atleast to hear it because then
(19:02):
like your your kind of storycame together and you took the
steps, you know, but you know,your mom is the one who really
pointed some of those thingsout. And so I think it's really
important for us parents toreally listen to that feedback
and and then what you said too,about not having any knowledge
and prior knowledge of autism.
And I think that's so true of somany special needs, whether it's
autism or any any kind ofdiagnosis, right, I think we
(19:25):
don't ever really know about ituntil we need to know about it.
And it's not something that'staught in anywhere really as a
general education for people. SoI think having that connection
like you said, building yourtribe, building your network,
understanding the people thatyou can trust and that you can
(19:45):
go to and building that I thinkis so critical because it is
something that you have tonavigate and even in every state
it's different. You know, likeyou were saying with the how it
works in Pennsylvania. It'sdifferent also in California,
where IAnd being able to navigate
because you said there's noblueprint and there isn't, you
know, it took me at least sixmonths to get through all of the
(20:06):
tests and the waiting and theanalysis and then getting the
services and figuring out Imean, it just is a lengthy
process. And so, like you said,really making sure you have that
level of support. And throughpeople who are going through the
same thing, because it's alittle different. When you talk
to other moms who don't aren'tgoing through this. It's it's
(20:27):
like, there's this barrier ofknowledge, and empathy and
compassion, that I find thatwhen I connect with other people
like yourself, shantay, when youwere talking, I was getting
teary, because I really relateto what you're saying. And
really finding those peoplebecause that is really what I
know, for me has gotten througha lot of different challenges.
(20:49):
And, and it sounds like for youtoo. And as you said, as Levi
gets older, as our kids getolder, it's different hurdles,
things kind of shift and changeconstantly. And to really have
that strong foundation, to beable to, to stand your ground on
that foundation to then be ableto pivot and move throughout
(21:09):
this journey, I think is soimportant that you brought up so
many really, really importantthings there for how you've
gotten through where and youknow, I think to something that
we talked about as well in whenwe talked before was about just
mental health, you know, ifyou're willing to share a little
bit about that, or your ownmental health, things that
you've gone through, because Iknow a lot of parents also go
(21:30):
through that also with anxietyand stress and things but and
also with Levi as well. So ifyou want to share a little bit
about that, too. Oh, absolutely.
So I was diagnosed with PTSD. Atthe end of 2019, Levi was
officially diagnosed with anadjustment disorder due to
(21:51):
trauma, the beginning of 2020.
Actually, let me take a stepback. He was Yeah, he was
diagnosed in 2019, as well. Hewas diagnosed in November, I was
diagnosed in December, whichthat ties into the new book that
I'm writing that ties intohelping with mental health. I
wrote a book called Are youokay, a story by echoboy. The
story is inspired by an incidentthat happened to Levi when he
(22:15):
was four and a half, almostfive, a family member was
reckless, and my son got out ofthe house in the middle of
winter with no clothes on andwas found wandering around the
neighborhood. And it wasn't asafe neighborhood. I'm able to
talk about it now withoutgetting like angry. But it used
to be really hard to talk aboutit because it was a trigger
point for me now that I'm in theprocess of, you know, going to
(22:37):
therapy, learning how to, yougot to talk about things that
get through things, our naturalreaction to things is to avoid
it, so that we don't have todeal with it. But in order to
get through it. So that is notsomething that has power over
you anymore. You got to talkabout it to get through it. So
basically, this book is reallyto help parents, I honestly
(23:00):
think parents are going to takeaway something from it, as well
as kids, because kids is goingto allow kids to open up and
talk about what's bothering me.
I'm having a terrible day in thebook I say is a terrible
terrible day have somebody savedthat you trust to open up about
to talk to the fact that I wentfive years on diagnosed with
(23:22):
PTSD, but making sure my son wasokay and was fully supported and
where he needed really surprisedthat I didn't have a nervous
breakdown and be committed to amental institution. I think
because I was just on automaticgo the whole time that Okay, we
got wraparound services, we havespeech therapy, we have ot we
have you know, behavior supportservices, we got to go to the
(23:45):
dentist, we got to go to thedoctor's office, I got to pick
them up from school, I got to goto work. So it was just you
know, a schedule was half of theschedule, that kind of, you
know, taking care of my mentalhealth was on the back burner.
But it all caught up on me in2019. I had to sit in the
doctor's office to talk aboutthat incident that I had been
avoiding of talking about and Ijust couldn't shake those
(24:05):
feelings like I was gettingagitated. I felt like I honestly
felt like I should haveprotected him more. And of
course, my therapist is like,you can't think like that. And I
said, I understand that. But asa mom, that's like the worst.
The second worst thing you everwant to you never want to get
that type of phone call thatsomeone found your child outside
with no clothes on wandering andit's the wintertime and winter
(24:28):
times here in Philly are prettybrutal is brick cold out here
during the wintertime, the factthat my son didn't Dart out in
the middle of the street to gethit by a car that someone didn't
kidnap him that really it was anangel walking this earth that
found him and made sure that hegot back to his grandmother's
house safely. It was just somany good things as some you
(24:49):
know, guy was protecting mychild and Angel was watching
over my child that we couldcelebrate another birthday. He's
still here, you know, because ina blink of eye he could not have
been here and that that's whatwas underlying factor in my PTSD
because like, I can't, if Ican't trust family to watch my
child, who else is gonna watchhim, that's how I was, you know,
and that wasn't helping withself care when I needed a break.
But I'm like, I don't trustanybody to watch my child
(25:11):
because guess what happened, Idon't want to put him through
that ever again, you know whatI'm saying. And then I started
noticing things that was out ofthe realm of typical behavior
for autistic kids. He had theselevels of rage that I just
couldn't control. And I didn'tknow where it was coming from.
It wasn't like defined behavioror a tantrum, or his normal.
(25:32):
Like, I don't want to do this.
You know, I'm not with it today.
It was more of anger, but reallykind of like something embed in
his brain that kept triggeringit, but because he can't
verbalize it, he's got to showit through actions. And so this
day, it still bothers me thatI'll never know exactly what
happened that day. Because theadults involved in his
(25:52):
situation, they weren't tellingthe truth. I know my child, but
I just felt like the people thatshould have been protecting him
should have been protecting himand they didn't. And all I can
do as his mom was recognize thatsomething else was off, I need
to get him support. So he's beenin outpatient therapy for the
last year and a half, and we'remaking progress there. He can
verbalize how he's feeling andrecognize even when I'm not
(26:15):
myself, and he's like, Mom,what's wrong? Are you okay? So
that's actually what promptedthe title of Are you okay?
Because that's his goes to lie.
Like, are you okay? And I thinkin writing this, I was kind of
hesitant. I'm not even gonnalie, Susan, I was really
hesitant and writing it becauseI said, eventually, I'm gonna
have to read the story to kidsand wanted to sit and do
(26:36):
storytime with kids. And how amI going to process this as I'm
reading it, because it's goingto bring up that day, you know,
but then I said, this is a storythat needs to be told, I'm not
going to go into full detail ofthe incident that happened,
because I don't want to ifthere's a child that went
through trauma, I don't wantthem to be re traumatized
reading the book, I want them tofeel like echo boys giving them
(26:56):
a big hug, I want them to feellike you know, someone
understands them, someone is,you know, in their corner, and I
want them to feel thatconnection to echo boy, because
he is a real person is you knowthat. And that's what's so
beautiful about this characteris that this is a living,
breathing child, you know that Iturned into a superhero, but
just know that, you know,whatever you're going through,
(27:18):
he's there for you. And takingcare of your mental health is
extremely important. Don't letthat be a taboo. Don't let
people make you feel like whyare you going to go see a
therapist when he talking to acomplete stranger, sometimes
talking to people that know youis not the best route to go
because it's his bias, becausethey already know you they know
your past, they know you insideand out. I would rather talk to
(27:39):
someone who doesn't know me froma canopy, you know, they're
unbiased. They're just going offby observation, and helping me
to get where I need to be. Andit was just a lot of things. It
was the toxic relationshipbetween me and his dad, his dad
not being involved as much as heshould, being ashamed that his
son had autism, it was just alot that was piling up the best
(28:00):
advice I can give a lot ofpeople when you hold on to
anger, and you hold on toemotions that people inflict on
you, you have to learn to let itgo. Because then you can't get
past that and grow and heal.
It's almost like constantlyreopening a wound that you won't
allow to heal because you can't.
(28:21):
And I don't want to sound likeit's easier. It's not easier
said than done. Because a lot ofthings people go through it
takes it's a journey to getthrough it and get past it. Like
for me, I'm not the same personemotionally that I was six years
ago, I had to really reevaluatea lot of things in my life. And
the major thing was, I cannotreact to things that his dad was
(28:42):
doing to bring out a differentside of me. And I said, I really
just have to drown out thenegativity, focus on me Focus on
my son, and I'm in a much betterplace than I've been in the last
few years and to see my sonflourish and be happy and
thrive. That's all I want. Buttaking care of your mental is so
(29:02):
important is just as as asimportant as your physical
health, you're no good to yourkids. If you're stressed out. If
you're always having an anxietyattack, trust me, I bet
especially through the pandemic,I've had a couple of PCs, the
episodes last year, multipleanxiety attacks, but I know how
to cope with it now because Ihave those tools given to me by
(29:23):
my therapist, and then also myson's there, but she helps me as
well. So I it kind of piggybacksoff of kind of get the double
dose of of support, which isamazing. Everyone doesn't have
that. So I'm extremely gratefulthat I have that support. But it
goes back to building that tribenot just for resources and
services, but you need thattribe for your mental health.
Because if you if you allowyourself to drown in those
(29:46):
emotions, you're never going toget to the surface of it ever
again. Because you're constantlyjust drowning, drowning,
drowning, drowning, drowning,and you're not going to see that
peace. You're not going to getthat sense of like, I'm not
alone.
As I have, you know, people whogenuinely care and that want to
see everything the for the bestfor me, you know? Yes. And
(30:10):
that's why I'm always 100%honest about mental health, you
got to talk about it, becauseyou just never know whoever is
listening. So anyone that'slistening, if you're going
through depression, anxiety, youare not alone. Don't ever feel
like that. There's so manyresources out there to help, you
know, things will get better.
This is, you know, I don't Idon't I never want to sugarcoat
things. But I also like to keepthings positive to things get
(30:31):
tough. Yeah. But things do getbetter. So as always, those
hills and valleys? Yeah,absolutely, I think you touched
on so many different things thatare so important to recognize
here, especially related to whenyou're getting your son set up
with all of his services. Andyou're really focused on the
things that he needs really notpaying attention to yourself and
focusing on self care and yourmental health. And I think
(30:55):
that's a message that's soimportant for parents,
especially in the beginning,when they find out a diagnosis,
they're trying to figure out allof the resources and all of the
steps that need to happen toreally still pay attention to
what's going on with yourself.
And you're absolutely right, ofletting things go the healing
process. And that that takes alot of time as well. And I think
(31:16):
it's so important for familiesto really try to work through
their emotions, and work throughgetting those things out,
because they will come out andmanifest in other ways. And the
more that we can take care ofourselves, the better we can be
for supporting our kids andhelping them get through also
what they're going through. So Ithink you really touched on so
(31:36):
many important things forparents, and thank you for being
so open about your mental healthchallenges with PTSD and
anxiety. And I struggle withanxiety, too. I've had a lot of
anxiety attacks over the years,and have figured out ways to
cope and to use different toolsto get through that. But I think
it's so important that you'reyou know, you're speaking your
(31:57):
truth, and that you're openabout it, because I believe that
it does help a lot of otherpeople. So thank you for being
so vulnerable and open with us.
And I really wanted to justswitch gears actually and get
into your library of books. Sothroughout this episode, we've
talked about different booksthat you've had. So maybe you
can tell us all of the booksthat you have available. And I
would say that I don't want togive anything away about your
(32:19):
new book that's coming out. Butyou did read me excerpts of your
new book. And I was in tearswhen we were on the phone
together. And so I just am soexcited for this book to get out
there and for people to hear itand read it and share it with as
many parents and other kids aspossible. So tell us about your
(32:41):
library of books, and also wherethey can find your books. Yes,
all of the books are availableon Amazon, the poetry books,
which those titles are my lifeand puzzle pieces, respect the
spectrum. Those are specificallyfor the parents, you'll get some
insight on me as a parent, how Iwas feeling when Levi was first
(33:04):
diagnosed, how I was feelingwhen he goes through a meltdown,
just being a single parent andtrying to navigate through
heartbreak from a relationshipthat didn't work out to having
to be Mom and Dad, you know, formy son is I get really personal
in in those books you get. Youget a lot of me in those poetry
(33:25):
books, the children's books, Idon't even think I mentioned
this one to you, Susan, when wewere talking on the phone, but I
do have another one that's moreof a social story type of book.
And it's called Levi's world.
Levi's world is actually my veryfirst children's book before
I've even thought about echoboyABC girl, I wanted to write a
(33:46):
story that was told from Levi'spoint of view is just a very
simple book. I took all of thesepictures that I had of him from
preschool because I was aroundthe time that I wrote him when
he was coming out of preschoolinto kindergarten and just
wanted to give you like hispoint of view. So it was like
him in the playground him andhis class doing sensor replay is
(34:06):
such a cute book. That one isnot on Amazon that's actually on
lulu.com. But you can purchasethat on that website. I love
that books to death. Also, theadventures of echoboy ABC girl
that's on Amazon. I have anamazing coloring book. There's
also a story as well as ABCgirls book. That title is called
(34:27):
the wonderful world of ABCs withABC girl so she'll take you
through the ABCs and her ownversion. She talks about things
she loves things she loves aboutLevi values that she has learned
that she wants to share withkids and some important facts
about autism. So as a super cutebow, you can color the entire
book because her magic CRAN iswhat helps her turns into ABC
(34:51):
girl the new new book that isabout 92% almost finished. We're
working on the artwork rightnow.
The story is completely done.
And Susan was one of very fewthat gets to listen to the
entire story. And I trulyappreciate your feedback on on
the story. I really can't waitfor parents to read it. Because
to read it, I'm even thinkingabout doing an audio book for
(35:13):
it. Because of just the feel ofthe story. I think audio wise
would be amazing. Visually, thisbook is just beautiful. From the
illustrations I've gotten sofar. Reggie Byers, I in any
interview, I can never leave himout because he is the one that
took my ideas in my head andbrought them to life. So every
time you read any of thosebooks, you do see his name on
(35:34):
the cover illustrated by ReggieByers, but he's just as
connected to these characters asI am. And I couldn't imagine
anyone else that will pour somuch love and joy into these
books because all I did was sendhim the manuscript for Are you
okay? And what he's been givingme so far. I started getting
emotional. So I'm like, and Itold him like, How am I supposed
(35:56):
to read this book to kid youknow, visually now, like it was
one to just read it, like when Iwas reading it to you, Susan.
But for now had the visuals togo with it. I'm going to cry at
least a couple first couple oftimes reading the book, but it's
such an important book I can'twait for you know, everyone to
read it. I do plan on having avirtual launch party for the
(36:19):
book. So I will be postinginformation because I want to
see new faces, people that havecontinued to support me. Ask Me
Anything you want to askconcerning the book. I'll do
storytime I'm even thinkingabout because I think it gives
that bedtime feeling becauseit's a short book is perfect to
read to the kids before going tobed. I may do some inner minute
story bedtime storytime on AEGlive, Facebook Live and Twitter
(36:44):
live. I may even get Levi toactually read the story because
I'm always finding new uniqueways to help build his reading
skills. So you may even getthere once or twice. I just
can't wait. I the support so farfor the book, and it hasn't even
come out yet has been soamazing. So I can't wait for all
of you to read it. I alwaysappreciate feedback. I'm very
(37:05):
social on social media. So youcan find me on Instagram. You
can find me on Facebook andTwitter. My Instagram is eco
boys mom 82. Or you can followmy business page which is eco
boy and ABC girl FacebookShantae Douglas Twitter, Levi's
mom 82. So yeah, messaged me,you know, get any questions, you
(37:27):
just want to vent your questionsabout the book, you want to give
me some feedback. I love whenyou guys send me pictures and
videos of your kids reading thebook or you know, just want to
take pictures with the book. Ilove that because I post them on
my business page on Facebook.
And I do have a business page onFacebook, which is the
adventures of echoboy ABC girlso you can follow that page. I
(37:48):
do keep everything current onthere. So I'm always posting
events, and I'm at updates onthe books that I'm working on.
This will be the last project of2021. for writing, I'm going to
be taking a break because thenext project that I'm working on
is so major that I need at leastanother year to work on this
project because I have a wholeteam of kids coming. And it's a
(38:09):
lot to develop five newcharacters and their background
stories. And visually so youwill see some visuals of these
characters coming in 2022. Butthe book and and what it's going
to be about I'll start talkingabout that in 2022. For right
now I just want to focus on whenare you okay? Because I think
(38:30):
after what we've all been goingthrough, and I've been reading a
couple articles in 2020 kidshave been seen more depressed, a
lot of anxiety, stress, becausewe got to think about it. Kids
are supposed to be naturallysocial, you take that away from
them, you know, they're notunderstanding, I can't go to my
best friend's house to celebratetheir birthday, I can't go to
grandma's house, I can't go seemy I can't go see my uncle, I
(38:53):
can't go see my favorite persondown the street because we have
the social distance. I can't seemy classmates, I miss going to
school and then for our kids,which really is a shame that I
feel like they really justtotally forgot about the
autistic community that you havekids who thrive on structure and
a schedule. And you shut schooldown there used to alright I get
(39:16):
a my mom makes me breakfast. Iput my clothes on when we leave
the house. She takes me toschool. I do my routine at
school, I get on a school busand I come home. And then it
just totally flip flops and I'mhome all the time. And I have to
sit in front of a computer and Ihave no interactions except with
the people that live with me inthe house. So it's a while so I
(39:38):
really wanted to start 2021 withhailing. I think we overlook the
fact that our kids are goingthrough just as much as we are
as adults. I mean as adults. Youknow, we're paying the bills
were the providers, but the kidsyou know, we didn't have to
worry about that. When we weregrowing up. We didn't have a
pandemic when we were you know,in elementary school, middle
school or high school and kidsgot to go to their prom
(40:00):
Their graduations and hugemilestones that you look forward
to, as you're growing up that alot of these kids cannot
experience last year so thatthat can play into a lot of the
mental health and we need toallow them to feel like I'm not
okay. And so what's wrong? Iwant to open that dialogue. I
know as crazy as it sounds,sometimes when you come up with
a character, and they havesomething relatable to what you
(40:23):
as a kid might be going throughlike, Wow, well, echoboy really
went through like a terrible,terrible day. And he's telling
me it's okay to not be okay. SoMom, look, this is how I've been
feeling like, that's what whatwe need to start developing this
year is having that opendialogue, we need to get those
feelings out, we need to getthose emotions out. It's just so
(40:44):
important. Another person toldme that once I because I kind of
I try to let at least two orthree people read the manuscript
before this goes to print beforeit gets formatted all of it,
even before the illustrations.
Because if I don't get a goodvibe from how people react to
the story, I got to go back andtweak it or whatever. So before
I even let you read it, Susan, Ilet Reggie who's the
(41:07):
illustrator, I let him read itbecause of course, he's going to
have to read it because he hasto get that vibe of how visually
I'm going to set off each eachpage, right? So when I sent it
to him, he immediately messagedme, he's like, he's like, I'm a
grown man. And you know, Ishouldn't be dropping a tear.
But he's like, what you justwrote was beautiful. He said, it
(41:29):
feels like a giant hug. And Iwas like, wow, like, just to
hear that. And me not to getemotional right now. But when I
was writing it when I write andlike, I think I told you this
before Susan, like when I write,I am in the moment. And I write
visually, if that makes anysense to anyone that's
listening. Like when you'rewriting something, you visualize
(41:49):
what you're writing, like, whenI was writing echoboy, ABC girl,
I was visualizing how I wantedmy kids to look, and how I
wanted certain scenes to playout and how Reggie connected to
that, without me even sayinganything to him, it was just him
reading what I wrote. And to putthat together, I cried, the
whole entire time that book wasbeing made every time he would
send me an illustration, I wouldstart crying. That's how
(42:10):
emotionally connected I am tothese books. Even the coloring
book. As simple as that maysound visually, I didn't know
how it was going to convey whenI was writing it. And actually,
that was really probably themost difficult to go through the
alphabet. And like what what'sgoing to stand out for these
kids what's really going to belike, oh, okay, so a of course I
wanted to start off as forautism, each page, when you look
(42:31):
at it is something different.
And something visually, youknow, in what I loved is that I
want these kids to color thebook, the way you think in these
to look through your eyes. Soyou have that immediate
connection. It's so important tome when I'm creating projects
that you got to be connected toyour audience because that's how
(42:51):
you build that, you know, thatwriter reader relationship, I'm
very thoughtful in what I what Idecide to do with characters
what I decide to do with a storyand you have to write
fearlessly, you have to writewith emotion, because especially
with kids, their brains aresponges, you know, I still have
books that I remember when I wasa kid reading and how it
impacted me just like visuallyand just have a story was that I
(43:13):
carried through as an adult.
That's how I want these books tobe, I want to be like, I was so
ready. I want to be a crossbetween Dr. Seuss. And Stanley,
I want to I want to be thatpioneer that creates a universe
of kids with special abilities.
I want to have those books thatstand the test of time. I want
to be my own version of that. Iwant to I want to have that
(43:35):
legacy that Dr. Seuss head withhis books. You know what I'm
saying? Like, I want kids10 1520 years from now. Oh,
remember the adventures of echoboy ABC girl? Oh my god, like I
remember getting that as a kidand reading it or are you okay?
Like, that's the perfect, youknow, I went Paris for
generations to buy that book asa bedtime story. Or Biden is a
baby shower gift. Like this issuch a classic book you need to
(43:58):
like that's where I that's thelegacy I want to leave as a
writer and even if you know it'snot even about selling millions
of copies if I can touch onefamily and and inspire the next
generation of writers or inspirekids to be like, well, ABC girl
is awesome. And a lot of girlsare really, really love and ABC
or was warms my heart becauseshe you know, she was totally
(44:20):
created out of love and reallyjust like a like a baby like
really I gave birth to to thatlittle girl and just the
response I've gotten from herreally warms my heart and
cuisine. Everyone loves echoboybecause Levi's amazing. He's a
rock star in his own right. Ican't wait. So this book is out.
Are you okay? It's a small book,but it's going to be probably a
(44:44):
bigger impact than I think theadventures of echoboy ABC girl
Well, I don't like to comparethe two because they're all my
babies and I love them all indifferent ways. Just like kids.
I'm so emotionally connected tothis story because it's really
tapping into things. I don'treally see too much which
books because a lot of authorsor people just assume you need
to stay away from certainsubjects when you're talking to
(45:06):
kids, but I think what's how theworld is and how the next
generation of kids are, you needto be open and honest with them.
Kids are highly intelligent, youknow what I'm saying? Like cages
have, you know, unicorns andrainbows. And those are cute,
and I love them. But that's notreality. And that's not that's
not what kids are living everyday, we got kids that don't have
(45:26):
the resources and things thatare needed, we got to take that
in consideration. I'm superexcited, please follow me. It's
always posted updates oneverything that I'm working on.
I'm excited. I'm so well, I amso excited for you and so
thrilled about Are you okay, andI will vote for you to do an
(45:47):
audio reading of it and audibleor whatever that's called,
because when you read the bookto me shantay it was so touching
and pulled on so many of myemotions, I could feel the
compassion and the the love thatyou have in this book, it
transcended To me it just byyour voice and read in you
(46:09):
reading it to me. So it was justso incredible. And I think when
we were talking after you readthat to me, I had to take a
pause because I was trying tohold back some pretty ugly
tears, ugly crying that wascoming out it was it was just
beautifully written.
It was absolutely beautifullywritten. And I'm excited to see
(46:29):
the illustrations too. Becausefrom what you're you're telling
me it's it's going to resonatewith so many different people of
all different age groups. AndI'm so excited for that to come
out for you too. And you knowwhat, something that you said
that I wrote down while you weretalking just now was make it a
reality to make it relatable.
And I think that's so important.
(46:51):
And I love that you are talkingabout the reality of what's
going on and not reallysugarcoating it. I mean, to an
extent right with kids books,but you're addressing the
elephant in the room, you'retalking about what people are
not talking about. But I do youbelieve in exactly what you said
that it becomes more relatablewhen you you talk about what is
(47:11):
actually happening and not justsweeping it under the rug, not
putting the unicorns and therainbows and all that because I
love those things too. But thatisn't reality. And we can't
actually push through thesechallenges without addressing
them directly and head on. And Ijust think that you are so
creative, and so inspiring. Imean, I'm saying this, I'm
getting goosebumps right now,because you've taken all of
(47:33):
these topics you've taken, youknow, challenges that you've
been through seeing things thatyour son is going through and
putting them into books that arehelping other people not only
feel that they're not alone, togive them hope to also feel
inspired and to educate people.
And you know, like you said,These books are not just for
kids who have autism or specialneeds. They're also for other
(47:54):
kids to learn, and to supportother parents and to give other
families hope. And that isexactly what this podcast is all
about to is building thoseconnections, giving other family
members hope that they are notalone, and providing the
resources to and I think thatyou're doing all of those
things. And I just think you'rejust an amazing person and
(48:14):
amazing soul. And starting 2021with healing. I know that you've
gone through so much healingthroughout your journey. And
many of us parents are alsotrying to work through healing a
lot of different emotions thatwe go through and working
through our own journeys. And Ithink you're just such an
inspiration. And I think a lotof people can learn from you and
(48:35):
from your books. And I willinclude all of the links to
everything that you mentioned.
so that people know not only howto find you how they can
communicate with you how theycan purchase your books, and how
they can start those dialogueswithin their own families in
their own journey. So I justwant to thank you so much for
dropping so much advice toparents to throughout this
(48:59):
talking about your books andwhere they come from, because I
know that they stem from thisdeepness within you, and you're
letting all of that out whichI'm sure is also healing for you
too. And I just want to thankyou so much for being with me
today and to sharing your storyto being so open and vulnerable.
And you know, with the intentionon helping other parents and
(49:22):
other families so thank you somuch on Tay thank you so much
Susan. It was really a pleasuretalking to you today and even on
the phone like we I just feltthat genuine connection. I mean,
we're on opposite sides of thecoast but you know, we have that
common bond uh, you know,advocating for our kids and
you're doing amazing things Ifollow you, you know, on
Instagram and you're you're abeam of light as well. So you
(49:43):
know, I want to shout you out aswell. And you are a light in
this world as well. So you know,thank you for even having this
podcast and technology is soamazing. It can be used for good
or evil but the good of it isthat it just allows you to
connect with people that you maynot have a chance to even talk
toSo thank you for that, you know,
you're you're amazing in yourown right. And you know, you're
doing amazing things with yourson. So that's all I can say,
(50:05):
anyone who is listening, you arenot alone. We Shantae and Susan,
here are examples of people whoare connecting and that you can
connect with. So we'll you know,contact us DMS, email us,
whatever you need to do if youare feeling alone, reach out to
build your support group. Andknow that there are people like
(50:27):
us and other moms out there whocan also support you. So thank
you, again, so much on Tay, forbeing with me today and for
dropping so much advice and fortelling us all about your
journey and your book. So I hopeeveryone who's listening will go
out and buy your books and whenyour new book drops, I hope that
they'll follow you to find outwhen that becomes available with
(50:50):
Are you okay, so thank you againso much on tape. It was so
lovely talking to you today andI really appreciate you Oh,
thank you
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