Hi there and thank you for joining this episode - a special episode as I have a guest who is helping other people through her business! My special guest today is Dina Farmer. She is a mother of two boys, one of whom is autistic. Her family is a military family (she is also a veteran) and as she was struggling with booking travel for her own family, she pivoted her business to help others - She is a founder and owner of Lily and Magnolia Travel, helping autistic families book and plan vacations as a Certified Autism Travel Professional.
In this episode, we discuss her journey with her son's diagnosis, which she reveals an important lesson and advice for other parents not to ignore your inner voice or your intuition. She is not only an advocate for her son, but also an advocate in the travel industry, helping other families take steps and find resources to help them with family vacations and ensuring families know the type of support that is out there for them. Dina shares a wealth of knowledge, resources and advice for families to take a step in travel, starting small and planning ahead, knowing resources that are available to you.
We also go into some of her biggest challenges she faces, particularly being in a military family, moving around all of the time and advocating so much to ensure her son has everything he needs, no matter what! Sound familiar?
Check out this episode to learn more from another family/mother, listen to her advice based on her personal experiences and learn how you can get in touch with her (Lily and Magnolia Travel) to get assistance with your future travel!
Here are all the ways you can get in touch with Dina Farmer at Lily and Magnolia Travel:
www.lilyandmagnoliatravel.com
www.facebook.com/lilyandmagnoliatravel
www.instagram.com/lilyandmagnoliatravel
Dina Farmer | Travel Advisor
Certified Autism Travel Professional
Lily and Magnolia Travel
Website: www.lilyandmagnoliatravel.com
Email: dina@lilyandmagnoliatravel.com
Phone: (808) 800-1249
Schedule a complimentary consultation.
Veteran Owned Business
Black-Owned Business
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Susan Fink (00:09):
Hey everyone, and welcome to the rise with the
light podcast. My name is SusanFink and this is my weekly
podcast dedicated to supportingfamilies raising children with
special needs. I'm on a missionto provide hope and positivity
through sharing my personalinsights, stories, mindset
perspectives, and ways tonavigate through this journey.
Let's get started.
(00:43):
Hi, everyone, thank you so muchfor joining us today I have a
really special guest on theepisode here today a mother of
two boys, one of whom isautistic. Her family is actually
a military family. And as shehas struggled with booking
travel for her own family, sheactually pivoted her business to
help other people. So she is thefounder and owner of Lily and
(01:06):
Magnolia travel, helping specialneeds families book and plan
vacations. And this is theperfect time for Deena to be on
the episode today. Because as weget into summer, and as
restrictions are lifting acrossthe country, and overseas as
well for travel, she is your goto person to help you with your
(01:28):
travel arrangements. So thankyou so much, Dina, for joining
me today. I'm so happy thatwe've met and that you're able
to share some great wisdom withpeople and also the resources
that you that you haveavailable. So thank you so much
for being here. Thank you forhaving me today. Susan, I
appreciate it. My pleasure. Solet's go ahead and jump right
in, tell us about your familyand your son's diagnosis
(01:50):
specifically and kind of whatyour journey has been like,
right.
Unknown (01:53):
Um, so we, as you just said, So currently, we're a
military family and my sonsactually got diagnosed a little
bit later than most on thespectrum get diagnosed, and he
was diagnosed at eight yearsold, I of course, kind of knew
that there was something goingon, but because of where his
lands on the spectrum, a lot ofthe providers that we had just
(02:14):
kind of discounted me like, Oh,he's just a boy, he'll grow out
of it, you know, oh, that'snormal development. And there
was this big things like hewasn't walking until he was 16
months. It was the stacking ofhis tracks in a perfect line. If
I moved anything, like he wouldget very upset about that. And
then just a lot of parallel playuntil he was like five or six
(02:38):
years old, which, you know,again, the providers like, Oh,
that's normal. He's developing anormal range. But I was like, I
don't, I don't know, thatdoesn't seem normal to me. And
especially after I gave birth tomy second son. And I saw him
developing a way differentlythan his older brother, I just
started questioning things overand over, like, I don't know if
(02:59):
this is normal, like what isnormal development, you know,
and like, he was just doingeverything so much faster than
his brother and hiscommunication was so much
faster. So we moved to Hawaiiafter we were living in Arizona,
and I kept bringing it up andbringing it up. And then I took
a big trip because I'm partTurkish, to Turkey to go see my
family. And my family just keptsaying there's just something
(03:21):
you know, really unique aboutyour son, and you really should
talk to somebody about it, butthey were trying to, you know,
not be harsh with their words,right? I mean, they were just
telling me, you know, basically,he needs to be evaluated, and
you need to fight a little bitharder for it. And then finally,
when I came home from Turkey,that's when someone actually
(03:43):
listened to me. And we got adevelopmentalists that was like,
yep, he's got high functioningautism and ADHD and odd. So now
we can finally start services tohelp him you know, like,
minimize meltdowns and start tolisten more because I don't want
him to, you know, run into theroad or something super
(04:05):
dangerous, or, you know, beat uphis absolute or something. Yeah.
So, I was kind of tough becauseI felt like nobody was listening
to me. But ultimately, I finallyfound someone at my son's age of
eight that would finally help usfigure out what was going on.
Susan Fink (04:21):
Yeah, you know, I think a lot of people listening
can really relate to that. Andespecially with your first
child, I have one and he's myfirst child and I didn't have
really anything to reallycompare up against I didn't
really know what the normal, youknow, development should be like
and so I also even said, Oh,this is just probably he's a boy
(04:42):
and, you know, these are he candevelop at his own pace. And it
really you kind of knew in yourgut, you know, something was
going on. And you know, I thinkit's a it's really important for
listeners to know that listen toyour gut, you know, and kind of
write for that but also toreally find people who can help
you and to really kind of listenas well, which I think is really
(05:06):
important. And again, reallyjust listening to what your gut
is telling you, because itreally normally is like, right,
you know, and so many ways thatit can definitely be right. So
I'm glad that he's able to getthe help and the services that
he needs. And my son is verymuch the same way high
functioning, and you know, justtrying to regulate and manage,
(05:27):
you know, different things, notnecessarily to change who he is,
but also just to help make surethat he's safe, and that he's
able to kind of cope and handlehis own emotions and things like
that. So that's really greatthat you were able to advocate,
you know, even more. So what aresome of the challenges,
especially being in a militaryfamily, you and I kind of were
(05:49):
messaging back and forth alittle bit about this. And I
really have a big part of myheart for military families,
because I was also a militaryfamily growing up my whole life
moving around all the time. Andmy dad was in the army for 21
years and, you know, having topick up and move and adjust and
change houses and schools. And,you know, I can imagine that
(06:10):
that can also lend itself to bechallenging, especially if
you're being neurodiverse. Whatare some of your biggest
challenges that you face?
Unknown (06:19):
I think most people that have someone with autism
around them understand howimportant routine can be for
some autistics. And so for myson, when we moved from Arizona
to Hawaii, for six months, heasked me, can we go home?
Because Hawaii wasn't home, itwas, you know, he thought we
were on vacation. Not right,yeah, that we were gonna be
(06:41):
living there for the next threeyears. And I kept telling him, I
know, this is really hard. Butthis is, you know, this is our
new home now. But it didn'tprocess with him, he was just so
used to the house that he camehome to when he was born. And
then we were there for, Oh, mygosh, four years, almost almost
four years. So it was justreally difficult for him at that
young age to process that, youknow, we move houses a lot, and
(07:04):
we've already moved twice sinceHawaii. So Well, sorry, this
three minutes with him. Whilehe's alive. This is the fourth
one is the next one coming. Soit's he, when we moved here to
Colorado, it wasn't such a bigquestion of when we're going
home. But it just took him awhile to get used to the new
house. And like he was havingsome sleep regression for sure
(07:27):
and wanting me to sleep withhim. And you know, having every
light on in the house. And hestill kind of does that too, if
he can't walk around the housethat having every light switch
on because you've got so is thehouse in Hawaii, that here he
was he won't go down the hallwayby himself. Even if there's like
all the lights on and it'sbright as day, he kind of has a
little bit of hard timeadjusting because I just think
(07:48):
it's not home for him. And thenit's not so much him that is a
lot of difficulty with moving,it's more of the military can be
kind of a pain, with having toget approval to go places with
the exceptional family memberprogram. So like we have to do a
ton of paperwork before we caneven move to make sure that we
have all the services availableto him so that he can get
(08:11):
services when he's there.
Because otherwise, that meansthat we couldn't move to the
location that the Air Forcewants us to go. So I know some
military families like can't gooverseas because of some
disabilities, and especiallywith autism, because, of course,
there's the services over there,but they don't necessarily
English. So that's can be anissue. And I know that what they
basically told us is like theonly places that we can go to
(08:33):
overseas now is Hawaii andAlaska. And maybe Guam, since
it's a territory. But yeah, itcan be just be a lot of work.
And they just change theexceptional family member
program to, which is like askingus for more information and more
evaluations every couple years.
And I know there's one that'sdue every six months. And I'm
(08:55):
just like, Oh my gosh, what Ihad this. My child's Autism is
not going away. Right, like,Yeah, and I think that's very
frustrating to have toconstantly do all these
assessments to see like, I don'tknow, meet some magical number
to say, Oh, he's getting better,but he's going to have autism
for the rest of his life. Allright, yeah.
Susan Fink (09:17):
Yeah, every six months sounds really just
excessive.
Unknown (09:21):
I don't remember they just change it. And I just got a
phone call about it. There'ssome piece of paperwork that I
have to send them every sixmonths. And then like, every two
years, I have to do anevaluation. And there's
something that's annually. I'mjust like, wow, oh my gosh, this
is a little bit overkill.
Susan Fink (09:38):
Yeah. Yeah, it seems like it to me and I can
understand how that can bereally frustrating because just
without being in the military,in a military family, there's
already so much paperwork.
There's already so much red tapeto kind of get through and, you
know, just the evaluations anddiscussions and meetings, and
there's much already so that ontop of it is it does feel
(10:01):
excessive. So that it soundslike it can be pretty
frustrating.
Unknown (10:07):
It can it can be and then moving with like, if your
child has a, you know, a 504plan or an IEP can just make it
even like, yeah, morefrustrating, right?
Susan Fink (10:18):
Are you guys in a military on a school on a
military base? Or is it like agod school?
Unknown (10:25):
It's it's not a god school because we're not
oversold. It's a local city, orsorry, state run school public
school. But it's, I like them. Ijust wish that they would do a
little bit more. Yeah, for myson. But Don't we all? I don't I
think all of us are. That way.
Susan Fink (10:43):
Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, this always
goes back for me to advocacy andus being like, the voices for
our children for our sons,because, you know, there are
there are services out there,there are people out there that
can help. But we have to be kindof like the squeaky wheel, you
know, in a way, right. Andreally kind of like push the
(11:04):
envelope to make sure thatthey're getting the services
they need is is an IEP that I'mjust out of curiosity, is an IV,
transferable like when you'removing? Okay. Oh, that's
interesting. I did not knowthat.
Unknown (11:17):
It goes with the child thing. Yeah, I think whatever
school he moved to in Florida,though, I'll just hand the my
pee and go, let's have ourmeeting. Because these are what
his bet, you know, it's time andthis is what I need. Yeah. And
this is what he needs. Yeah,that's
Susan Fink (11:30):
really great. I was really curious. I just had no
idea. And you know, I movedevery two to three years in the
military. But right, you know, Idid not have, you know, an IEP
or anything like that. So I wascurious if that actually
transitioned, as well. So that'sreally good, at least that you
know, that's an upside for sure.
So let's switch gears over toyour business, Lily and Magnolia
travel. When did you start thisbusiness? And why did you do
(11:52):
this, and I know that maybe youpivoted because of some of the
challenges that you face. Sotell us more about Lily and
Magnolia travel.
Unknown (12:01):
So I am an Air Force brat too, and an Air Force
veteran. And so I've beentraveling, you know, my whole
childhood and my whole adultlife. And I thought, I want to
continue to share the gift oftravel with my children. And I
started a travel business afterin 20 1830 been on the air force
for four years, but I was I wasjust doing freelancing stuff.
(12:22):
And I didn't really know what todo. And I wanted a career that
was portable. But then asked me,you know, to meet status, forces
agreements, and, you know, allthis kind of stuff or to lose
certifications, because we movedto another state or something.
So I stumbled on travel, and Iopened my business in June of
(12:42):
2018. So two years right beforethe pandemic.
Susan Fink (12:46):
Oh, my goodness, I know who couldn't predict.
Right. Right. Yeah. I rememberwhen I connected, I think you
were saying that you, you know,we're working on helping people
cancel their travel arrangementsbecause of the pandemic and
everything that was going on. Sothat must have just been quite
an experience. Or
Unknown (13:05):
Yeah, I think, a really big learning experience for
sure, as a new agent that, youknow, I've only got so many
trips under my belt, and thenthis, this global pandemic
happens. So I keep tellingmyself, Well, if I my business
can survive the pandemic, Ithink I can survive anything,
right? Yeah. But it's just funnybecause I was selling almost
(13:26):
solely Disney vacations, rightup until February. And I went to
a conference and I was talkingto a lot of people not so much
struggling to meet his needs,but how the travel and tourism
industry wasn't meeting needsfor him. Right? Oh, so I knew
how to take care of him. But thetravel and tourism industry
(13:47):
didn't know how to take care ofhim or support him. And I was
just expressing frustrations ofhow there's not quiet spaces.
And, you know, I'm alwaysgetting these looks from other
travelers or even staff like toquiet My child, if he's having a
meltdown. It's just like, hejust needs to get through this,
please stop, you know, hold yourjudgment and just walk away, you
know. And one agent brought upand she said, I don't understand
(14:10):
why you don't just pivot andstart your own business to help
other families because youobviously get it or a mother of
an autistic child. So you, youknow, you can help other
families that might beinterested in traveling, they
just don't know how to do it.
And it's like, oh, my gosh, whata great idea. Amazing. Like, in
February of 2020, I pivoted thepandemic, March and I like,
Susan Fink (14:35):
Oh, well, I'll
Unknown (14:36):
just keep shouting it from the rooftops and when
travel comes back, maybe peopleare turning to me.
Susan Fink (14:42):
Yeah, I think that's so amazing because it's As
parents, we do figure out how tohandle during situations and you
do know the needs, you know ofyour child. And of course, that
since spreads to so many otherpeople and being able to have
resources available to know howto how to go you know how to
travel. But also, I think a lotof people may not travel,
(15:05):
because they don't have theright support, or don't know how
to get the right support, youknow, and I think that sometimes
that's a barrier to actuallytraveling. So I think that's
amazing that you somebodymentioned that to you. It's
like, Oh, it was like a lightbulb? Probably like, right?
Yeah, like, you know, how tohandle a lot of such situations.
(15:26):
So where are you at now, interms of the services that you
provide? And now that things arestarting to open back up again,
travel is something that a lotof people are doing even more of
whether they're driving orflying? Where are you at now
with your business? And whatkind of services do you offer in
your travel business,
Unknown (15:45):
so travels slowly coming back, I know, for some
agents, it's better than others.
And I think because I'm such anice agent, I do help a lot of
typical families out, of course,but so far with autism, I think,
because of all the restrictionsthat are still in place in
certain areas, it makes it kindof difficult to talk families
into traveling when they have tostill be, you know, not having
(16:07):
exceptions, in certain cases,with masks or, you know, some
children still below the age of12 can't be vaccinated. So that
can take out a lot of Europe, iffamily is wanting to go, or you
know, they have to wear theirmasks all the time. So it's just
like, Ah, that's fine, finebalance, I will say a lot of
typical families are bookingwith me now. But I'm positive
and waiting for autisticfamilies, once they feel
(16:30):
comfortable, you know, I don'twant to pressure anybody into
doing that. As far as servicesgoes, I try to think about,
like, what would I need if I wastraveling. So the bigger things
is, I don't just go on vacationto spend time with my kids, I
also go just take a little breakfor myself. So I partnered with
a respite care provider that shehas a team of respite care
(16:53):
providers that are traveling,and you can book through me a
respite care provider to comeand stay with you and or if
you're staying at a resort thatI can arrange for nanny services
to come in and watch your childfor however long. You want to
have them come in. Buttypically, I will book a trip
for somebody, but it doesn'tjust stop at me just clicking a
(17:15):
button and booking it I providelike point of view videos,
because my son is very much avisual person. So he likes to
know exactly where he's goingand seeing everything, he might
not focus completely on thevideo. But as long as he has an
idea in his head, which ingeneral, I've seen, with
autistic families, I books witha child really wants to, you
know, get a good idea of wherethey're going. So they're not
(17:37):
shocked, especially if they'regoing to somewhere like Disney,
where, you know, rides are veryscary. And if you don't know
what to expect, that can bevery, very intimidating. And
trust me, we had to walk out ofthe territory. I did not set my
son up for success on that.
Yeah, right. Uh,
Susan Fink (17:53):
yeah, I think priming is such a big deal. I
mean, just I know, My son isexactly the same way, if he
knows what is expected, and heknows what he's walking into,
it's a much better experience.
And then I can kind of preparefor different situations to
happen. We've discussed itbeforehand. So I think that's so
important.
Unknown (18:14):
And I try to encourage families, especially if they're
seeing like an occupationaltherapist, to model some things
like, my son doesn't respond tosocial stories, but you know,
some children do. So I'llencourage them to model like
staying at a hotel and like whatthat looks like, and maybe
utilizing a guest bedroom tostart small and then getting
bigger, and you know, going to alocal hotel in your area, just
(18:36):
so that they can, you know, getused to the idea of being in a
hotel, and it not being theirspace. And then another big
thing that I do is I sign upfamilies for TSA cares. And I
think that everybody in theirgrandmother has told me like
talk about this program. Butit's a it's a support services
offer through TSA cares, thatyou can sign up about 72 hours
(19:00):
before your flight. And theywill help you from security to
get through it. And in somecases, if your agent is like
super awesome, they'll help youall the way to your gate. And
it's just a way that they don'thave to remove their jacket and
or shoes or take off headsetsor, you know, your phones or
whatever. And it makes it justnot a scary, intimidating
process to get through securitywhile everybody has to go
(19:21):
through security. But it's justnice having that support. It's
for anybody that has adisability or a medical need.
And it's just, it's so Wow, it'sso amazing. And you're never
separated from your kid.
Susan Fink (19:32):
I was like, Oh my gosh, this is Oh, this is so
great. That's amazing. I neverheard of that before and you
just gave everybody a tip to saycares. That is so awesome. And
like you said like to not haveto remove articles of clothing
or like headsets if they'rehaving some sensory challenges,
you know, and just feelinguncomfortable. And I mean that's
(19:55):
that is gold right there. Youjust dropped right there. So
that is awesome. Awesome. Yeah,it sounds like you've really
added some really great valuableresources beyond just the
travel. You know, I think that'ssomething that a lot of people
may not even really think aboutof like the stories or the POV
(20:16):
fees and things that you'reoffering to families, because we
know that those are things thatwould help our children, but a
normal travel agent may not evenconsider any of that, right,
they don't have the experience.
So because you have theexperience with your own son,
like you can really help a lotof families make it a, you know,
a much better travel experience.
(20:38):
And I wanted to point out thatthing that you said about taking
time for yourself and therespite care that you can also
arrange, because that'sdefinitely something I think as
mothers, and especially specialneeds moms, where we do need to
also take time to enjoy thevacation and have some downtime
and to do some self care. So Ithink that's really cool that
(21:00):
you've partnered with therespite company to help people
as they're on vacation, that'ssomething that I didn't even
think about to even consider,you know, if I'm going on
vacation, right, and I think alot of other people might be the
same as me, they're not thinkingabout that. But like I said, you
know, it's, uh, you know, you,you know, a lot of these
resources that can help people,which is awesome,
Unknown (21:23):
because I feel like that is a big issue with us,
right, or special needs moms isthat we, we have a lot of
guilts, I think, for taking timefor ourselves. And lately, I've
been doing this thing where Itake solo trips with, by myself,
yeah, so I can take some timeto, you know, recharge my
battery, because I can't, Ican't fill from an empty cup.
(21:44):
And I'm, I've definitely learnedthat the hard way, you know, so
that's why I provide either,like, encouraged, you know,
other moms to go on to solotrips, or to definitely allow me
to coordinate respite care, orhave a nanny come in, because
it's, I mean, even
Susan Fink (22:01):
just a couple hours is so valuable on vacation, it
really is, and there's no guiltor shame, and allowing someone
else to watch your child whileyou sit by the pool and read a
book or, you know, whatever isself care to you, you know, and
I think you said it exactlyright, you know, you can't
really help your child or helpyour family or really be in a
positive mindset until you'vealso recharged yourself, you
(22:24):
know, and I think that'ssomething that I also had to
learn the hard way, I didn't doany of that for many years, and
I finally started doing that,and I was so much better of a
person in general is muchhappier. But, you know, being
able to be even better for myson, and to just enjoy, you
(22:44):
know, being with him too, and,and enjoy our time together, as
well. So I think that's reallyimportant. And the guilt is so
real, though, you know, Mom, ingeneral is real. But I also
think special, you know, specialneeds mom guilt is even bigger.
So it's something that we all doneed to overcome. And like, like
(23:05):
you said, even if it's for anhour or two hours, it's
definitely helpful, you know, tobe able to recharge, to be able
to Yeah, to enjoy your familytoo. So that's really awesome. I
think that's such a great point.
So important for all of ourlisteners, especially how do
people get ahold of you to workwith you on their travel or
upcoming travel.
Unknown (23:28):
So I can be found at www dot Lilly and Magnolia
travel calm, and that's Lilywith two L's not three, because
some people like to have theextra one. And then I'm on
Instagram and Facebook at thesame handle the land Magnolia
travel, and then I have a formthat you just fill out on my
website and we enter into aconsultation. And I love to talk
(23:52):
to people beforehand, so that Imake sure that I'm a right fit
for them because I don't want tobook a vacation and later to
find out that, you know, Iwasn't listening enough or, you
know, there was a breakdown incommunication. So I love having
a dialogue first before we evenstart planning anything. And
that's literally anything evenif you wanted to book a trip to
(24:12):
like, you know, I live inColorado. So if you wanted to
book a trip to Denver, I woulddefinitely want to talk to you
beforehand. So just so I knowwe're on the same page, and then
what you're expecting from meand how I can best serve you
because I again, I want to makesure that I'm providing the best
service possible and not leavingyou feeling super disappointed
and unheard, you know, becausewe know firsthand how it can be
(24:35):
really hard to feel heardespecially as as a mother of a
child with a disability so,
Susan Fink (24:40):
so I'll make sure that I have all of your
information where they peoplecan connect with you where they
can go to your website, and allof that on the show notes so
that everyone knows how to getin touch with you because I
think you have so many amazingresources to offer outside of
just the travel alone. All ofthe other resources and things
that you can actually cover isto help other families. So I
(25:02):
think that's also great that youcan chat with families before
they actually work with you.
Because I think it sounds likethere's, you know, you're
looking for families that youhave a connection with as well.
And I think that's really greatthat you will do that for other
families, too. So I wanted toask you as the final question of
this interview, Deena, do youhave any final words of wisdom
(25:23):
or advice that you can offerother families and parents
raising children with specialneeds and or autism, and things
from your experience that you'dlike to share?
Unknown (25:36):
I think we both kind of set it in the very beginning of
this podcast episode season,which is to really trust your
gut, regardless of what medicalprofessionals are saying, or
other people might be saying toyou. Because I really strongly
believe in like Mama, or theparent knows best, because I
(25:57):
mean, honestly, nobody knowsyour child better than you do.
So really, if you feel likethere's something off, or you're
just starting in your autismjourney, and you just don't know
what to do next, or where to go,I think just trusting your gut
and then the continue toadvocate for your loved one is
probably the best thing that youcan do for your family and your
(26:20):
child, especially. Because Ifeel like I would have gotten
services a lot sooner if I hadjust really listened to myself,
rather than letting the medicalcommunity keep brushing me off
into saying, No, there'ssomething going on, I need
someone to evaluate himyesterday. And then I get to ask
this other question aboutgetting started with travel, I
(26:40):
always get the same answer whensomeone is considering traveling
with their autistic child orautistic loved one, because the
place that I'm certified as anautism travel professional, they
gave a survey to parents withsomeone on the autistic autism
spectrum that said somethingabout 86% of families with
(27:01):
someone with autism do nottravel, because there's not
enough support services outthere for them. And I really
want to change that narrativeand encourage people to travel
but not starting with thesehumongous, you know, two week
plan trips, start really, reallysmall, like we were talking a
little bit, which is, you know,maybe you do a staycation in
(27:23):
your hometown that you live in.
And then once your child hassuccessfully navigated that,
then moving it up to maybe athree to four hour car drive to
another city within your stateor maybe a state next door, and
then keep making your tripslonger and further as they get
used to the idea of travelingand as they get used to
traveling because it's easier totake a step back, when you're in
(27:46):
your hometown and go, Okay, thisis not going so well. So I'm
proud of them that they got thisfar. And then to be able to go
home, if you know it doesn'twork out after the second night
at the hotel. So I really liketo, I think we called it priming
to set your child up for successso that they can get used to the
idea of traveling. And then youalso get used to the idea of
traveling and what it looks likefor your family. So yeah, those
Susan Fink (28:12):
are awesome, awesome words of advice and wisdom. I
totally agree with you listeningto your gut like we talked
about. And I think that's reallygreat advice for families with
travel. And it's really, I lovethat you want to change that
narrative, I think all of uswould love to change that too.
And be able to write have thesupport we need when we're
(28:33):
traveling with our children whohave special needs, whether it's
autism or other special needsand anticipating what those
challenges could be so that theycan have the support out there
and starting small. You know,like you said, it can be a
staycation it can be somethingwhere you can return home, if
something you know is going onthat you would need to do that.
And just taking baby steps. AndI think the more that people can
(28:56):
get more comfortable and knowingand anticipating what's going to
happen, the more success they'llhave in the long run. So I think
that's really, really greatadvice. I just so glad that we
were able to connect today andthat you were able to share not
only your journey with yourfamily and your son some great
advice, and you know, words ofwisdom to families, but also the
(29:21):
services that you have to offerthrough Lily and Magnolia travel
is so cool that you've pivotedto help other families and
helping them through theirjourney and travel so that you
can change that narrative. So Iam so happy that we've connected
and I really appreciate yourtime today and also for our
listeners to let them know howthey can get in touch with you
(29:42):
and let them know how you canhelp them. So thank you so much
Dina, I really appreciate yourtime and I really hope that the
listeners out there that youwill reach out to Dina at Lily
and Magnolia travel when you arestarting to make your travel
arrangements and don't be afraidto take that first step. I
think, you know, making surethat you don't let fear hold you
(30:03):
back, that there are resources,there are ways to go about
taking an attempt to travel andbeing able to experience more in
this world that has to offer. Sothank you so much, Dean, I
really appreciate your time.
Unknown (30:17):
Thank you, Susan. It was really fun like way.
Susan Fink (30:20):
So I think Dina and I had our wires crossed there
for a second, but I know thatshe was super grateful to be
able to speak to all of youabout her journey about her
experience, especially being ina military family, I have not
had a guest on the show that isactually handling different
situations with an autisticchild in a military situation
where you're moving to differentplaces. So that adds another
(30:42):
layer of complexity. So if thisepisode has helped you, if you
resonate with this, if you feellike this is something that you
needed to hear today, pleasemake sure that you follow this
podcast, share this podcast withsomeone who might need to hear
it. I know that Dena droppedsome really great advice,
especially on travel and if youare looking for making travel
arrangements, please reach outto her so that she can help you
(31:04):
and taking those steps so thatyou know that you can be
supported that your family andyour loved ones your children
can be supported in your traveladventures. So as you know, my
mission is to help as manypeople as I can and I cannot do
that without you. So thank youso much for listening. Thank you
for being here today. And as Ialways say you are not alone in
(31:25):
this journey, stay connected,reach out there are solutions
out there to help you. So untilnext time, I appreciate I
empathize and I am here for youand we can do this
Hey everyone, and welcome to the rise with the
light podcast. My name is SusanFink and this is my weekly
podcast dedicated to supportingfamilies raising children with
special needs. I'm on a missionto provide hope and positivity
through sharing my personalinsights, stories, mindset
perspectives, and ways tonavigate through this journey.
Let's get started.
(00:43):
Hi, everyone, thank you so muchfor joining us today I have a
really special guest on theepisode here today a mother of
two boys, one of whom isautistic. Her family is actually
a military family. And as shehas struggled with booking
travel for her own family, sheactually pivoted her business to
help other people. So she is thefounder and owner of Lily and
(01:06):
Magnolia travel, helping specialneeds families book and plan
vacations. And this is theperfect time for Deena to be on
the episode today. Because as weget into summer, and as
restrictions are lifting acrossthe country, and overseas as
well for travel, she is your goto person to help you with your
(01:28):
travel arrangements. So thankyou so much, Dina, for joining
me today. I'm so happy thatwe've met and that you're able
to share some great wisdom withpeople and also the resources
that you that you haveavailable. So thank you so much
for being here. Thank you forhaving me today. Susan, I
appreciate it. My pleasure. Solet's go ahead and jump right
in, tell us about your familyand your son's diagnosis
(01:50):
specifically and kind of whatyour journey has been like,
right.
Unknown (01:53):
Um, so we, as you just said, So currently, we're a
military family and my sonsactually got diagnosed a little
bit later than most on thespectrum get diagnosed, and he
was diagnosed at eight yearsold, I of course, kind of knew
that there was something goingon, but because of where his
lands on the spectrum, a lot ofthe providers that we had just
(02:14):
kind of discounted me like, Oh,he's just a boy, he'll grow out
of it, you know, oh, that'snormal development. And there
was this big things like hewasn't walking until he was 16
months. It was the stacking ofhis tracks in a perfect line. If
I moved anything, like he wouldget very upset about that. And
then just a lot of parallel playuntil he was like five or six
(02:38):
years old, which, you know,again, the providers like, Oh,
that's normal. He's developing anormal range. But I was like, I
don't, I don't know, thatdoesn't seem normal to me. And
especially after I gave birth tomy second son. And I saw him
developing a way differentlythan his older brother, I just
started questioning things overand over, like, I don't know if
(02:59):
this is normal, like what isnormal development, you know,
and like, he was just doingeverything so much faster than
his brother and hiscommunication was so much
faster. So we moved to Hawaiiafter we were living in Arizona,
and I kept bringing it up andbringing it up. And then I took
a big trip because I'm partTurkish, to Turkey to go see my
family. And my family just keptsaying there's just something
(03:21):
you know, really unique aboutyour son, and you really should
talk to somebody about it, butthey were trying to, you know,
not be harsh with their words,right? I mean, they were just
telling me, you know, basically,he needs to be evaluated, and
you need to fight a little bitharder for it. And then finally,
when I came home from Turkey,that's when someone actually
(03:43):
listened to me. And we got adevelopmentalists that was like,
yep, he's got high functioningautism and ADHD and odd. So now
we can finally start services tohelp him you know, like,
minimize meltdowns and start tolisten more because I don't want
him to, you know, run into theroad or something super
(04:05):
dangerous, or, you know, beat uphis absolute or something. Yeah.
So, I was kind of tough becauseI felt like nobody was listening
to me. But ultimately, I finallyfound someone at my son's age of
eight that would finally help usfigure out what was going on.
Susan Fink (04:21):
Yeah, you know, I think a lot of people listening
can really relate to that. Andespecially with your first
child, I have one and he's myfirst child and I didn't have
really anything to reallycompare up against I didn't
really know what the normal, youknow, development should be like
and so I also even said, Oh,this is just probably he's a boy
(04:42):
and, you know, these are he candevelop at his own pace. And it
really you kind of knew in yourgut, you know, something was
going on. And you know, I thinkit's a it's really important for
listeners to know that listen toyour gut, you know, and kind of
write for that but also toreally find people who can help
you and to really kind of listenas well, which I think is really
(05:06):
important. And again, reallyjust listening to what your gut
is telling you, because itreally normally is like, right,
you know, and so many ways thatit can definitely be right. So
I'm glad that he's able to getthe help and the services that
he needs. And my son is verymuch the same way high
functioning, and you know, justtrying to regulate and manage,
(05:27):
you know, different things, notnecessarily to change who he is,
but also just to help make surethat he's safe, and that he's
able to kind of cope and handlehis own emotions and things like
that. So that's really greatthat you were able to advocate,
you know, even more. So what aresome of the challenges,
especially being in a militaryfamily, you and I kind of were
(05:49):
messaging back and forth alittle bit about this. And I
really have a big part of myheart for military families,
because I was also a militaryfamily growing up my whole life
moving around all the time. Andmy dad was in the army for 21
years and, you know, having topick up and move and adjust and
change houses and schools. And,you know, I can imagine that
(06:10):
that can also lend itself to bechallenging, especially if
you're being neurodiverse. Whatare some of your biggest
challenges that you face?
Unknown (06:19):
I think most people that have someone with autism
around them understand howimportant routine can be for
some autistics. And so for myson, when we moved from Arizona
to Hawaii, for six months, heasked me, can we go home?
Because Hawaii wasn't home, itwas, you know, he thought we
were on vacation. Not right,yeah, that we were gonna be
(06:41):
living there for the next threeyears. And I kept telling him, I
know, this is really hard. Butthis is, you know, this is our
new home now. But it didn'tprocess with him, he was just so
used to the house that he camehome to when he was born. And
then we were there for, Oh, mygosh, four years, almost almost
four years. So it was justreally difficult for him at that
young age to process that, youknow, we move houses a lot, and
(07:04):
we've already moved twice sinceHawaii. So Well, sorry, this
three minutes with him. Whilehe's alive. This is the fourth
one is the next one coming. Soit's he, when we moved here to
Colorado, it wasn't such a bigquestion of when we're going
home. But it just took him awhile to get used to the new
house. And like he was havingsome sleep regression for sure
(07:27):
and wanting me to sleep withhim. And you know, having every
light on in the house. And hestill kind of does that too, if
he can't walk around the housethat having every light switch
on because you've got so is thehouse in Hawaii, that here he
was he won't go down the hallwayby himself. Even if there's like
all the lights on and it'sbright as day, he kind of has a
little bit of hard timeadjusting because I just think
(07:48):
it's not home for him. And thenit's not so much him that is a
lot of difficulty with moving,it's more of the military can be
kind of a pain, with having toget approval to go places with
the exceptional family memberprogram. So like we have to do a
ton of paperwork before we caneven move to make sure that we
have all the services availableto him so that he can get
(08:11):
services when he's there.
Because otherwise, that meansthat we couldn't move to the
location that the Air Forcewants us to go. So I know some
military families like can't gooverseas because of some
disabilities, and especiallywith autism, because, of course,
there's the services over there,but they don't necessarily
English. So that's can be anissue. And I know that what they
basically told us is like theonly places that we can go to
(08:33):
overseas now is Hawaii andAlaska. And maybe Guam, since
it's a territory. But yeah, itcan be just be a lot of work.
And they just change theexceptional family member
program to, which is like askingus for more information and more
evaluations every couple years.
And I know there's one that'sdue every six months. And I'm
(08:55):
just like, Oh my gosh, what Ihad this. My child's Autism is
not going away. Right, like,Yeah, and I think that's very
frustrating to have toconstantly do all these
assessments to see like, I don'tknow, meet some magical number
to say, Oh, he's getting better,but he's going to have autism
for the rest of his life. Allright, yeah.
Susan Fink (09:17):
Yeah, every six months sounds really just
excessive.
Unknown (09:21):
I don't remember they just change it. And I just got a
phone call about it. There'ssome piece of paperwork that I
have to send them every sixmonths. And then like, every two
years, I have to do anevaluation. And there's
something that's annually. I'mjust like, wow, oh my gosh, this
is a little bit overkill.
Susan Fink (09:38):
Yeah. Yeah, it seems like it to me and I can
understand how that can bereally frustrating because just
without being in the military,in a military family, there's
already so much paperwork.
There's already so much red tapeto kind of get through and, you
know, just the evaluations anddiscussions and meetings, and
there's much already so that ontop of it is it does feel
(10:01):
excessive. So that it soundslike it can be pretty
frustrating.
Unknown (10:07):
It can it can be and then moving with like, if your
child has a, you know, a 504plan or an IEP can just make it
even like, yeah, morefrustrating, right?
Susan Fink (10:18):
Are you guys in a military on a school on a
military base? Or is it like agod school?
Unknown (10:25):
It's it's not a god school because we're not
oversold. It's a local city, orsorry, state run school public
school. But it's, I like them. Ijust wish that they would do a
little bit more. Yeah, for myson. But Don't we all? I don't I
think all of us are. That way.
Susan Fink (10:43):
Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, this always
goes back for me to advocacy andus being like, the voices for
our children for our sons,because, you know, there are
there are services out there,there are people out there that
can help. But we have to be kindof like the squeaky wheel, you
know, in a way, right. Andreally kind of like push the
(11:04):
envelope to make sure thatthey're getting the services
they need is is an IEP that I'mjust out of curiosity, is an IV,
transferable like when you'removing? Okay. Oh, that's
interesting. I did not knowthat.
Unknown (11:17):
It goes with the child thing. Yeah, I think whatever
school he moved to in Florida,though, I'll just hand the my
pee and go, let's have ourmeeting. Because these are what
his bet, you know, it's time andthis is what I need. Yeah. And
this is what he needs. Yeah,that's
Susan Fink (11:30):
really great. I was really curious. I just had no
idea. And you know, I movedevery two to three years in the
military. But right, you know, Idid not have, you know, an IEP
or anything like that. So I wascurious if that actually
transitioned, as well. So that'sreally good, at least that you
know, that's an upside for sure.
So let's switch gears over toyour business, Lily and Magnolia
travel. When did you start thisbusiness? And why did you do
(11:52):
this, and I know that maybe youpivoted because of some of the
challenges that you face. Sotell us more about Lily and
Magnolia travel.
Unknown (12:01):
So I am an Air Force brat too, and an Air Force
veteran. And so I've beentraveling, you know, my whole
childhood and my whole adultlife. And I thought, I want to
continue to share the gift oftravel with my children. And I
started a travel business afterin 20 1830 been on the air force
for four years, but I was I wasjust doing freelancing stuff.
(12:22):
And I didn't really know what todo. And I wanted a career that
was portable. But then asked me,you know, to meet status, forces
agreements, and, you know, allthis kind of stuff or to lose
certifications, because we movedto another state or something.
So I stumbled on travel, and Iopened my business in June of
(12:42):
2018. So two years right beforethe pandemic.
Susan Fink (12:46):
Oh, my goodness, I know who couldn't predict.
Right. Right. Yeah. I rememberwhen I connected, I think you
were saying that you, you know,we're working on helping people
cancel their travel arrangementsbecause of the pandemic and
everything that was going on. Sothat must have just been quite
an experience. Or
Unknown (13:05):
Yeah, I think, a really big learning experience for
sure, as a new agent that, youknow, I've only got so many
trips under my belt, and thenthis, this global pandemic
happens. So I keep tellingmyself, Well, if I my business
can survive the pandemic, Ithink I can survive anything,
right? Yeah. But it's just funnybecause I was selling almost
(13:26):
solely Disney vacations, rightup until February. And I went to
a conference and I was talkingto a lot of people not so much
struggling to meet his needs,but how the travel and tourism
industry wasn't meeting needsfor him. Right? Oh, so I knew
how to take care of him. But thetravel and tourism industry
(13:47):
didn't know how to take care ofhim or support him. And I was
just expressing frustrations ofhow there's not quiet spaces.
And, you know, I'm alwaysgetting these looks from other
travelers or even staff like toquiet My child, if he's having a
meltdown. It's just like, hejust needs to get through this,
please stop, you know, hold yourjudgment and just walk away, you
know. And one agent brought upand she said, I don't understand
(14:10):
why you don't just pivot andstart your own business to help
other families because youobviously get it or a mother of
an autistic child. So you, youknow, you can help other
families that might beinterested in traveling, they
just don't know how to do it.
And it's like, oh, my gosh, whata great idea. Amazing. Like, in
February of 2020, I pivoted thepandemic, March and I like,
Susan Fink (14:35):
Oh, well, I'll
Unknown (14:36):
just keep shouting it from the rooftops and when
travel comes back, maybe peopleare turning to me.
Susan Fink (14:42):
Yeah, I think that's so amazing because it's As
parents, we do figure out how tohandle during situations and you
do know the needs, you know ofyour child. And of course, that
since spreads to so many otherpeople and being able to have
resources available to know howto how to go you know how to
travel. But also, I think a lotof people may not travel,
(15:05):
because they don't have theright support, or don't know how
to get the right support, youknow, and I think that sometimes
that's a barrier to actuallytraveling. So I think that's
amazing that you somebodymentioned that to you. It's
like, Oh, it was like a lightbulb? Probably like, right?
Yeah, like, you know, how tohandle a lot of such situations.
(15:26):
So where are you at now, interms of the services that you
provide? And now that things arestarting to open back up again,
travel is something that a lotof people are doing even more of
whether they're driving orflying? Where are you at now
with your business? And whatkind of services do you offer in
your travel business,
Unknown (15:45):
so travels slowly coming back, I know, for some
agents, it's better than others.
And I think because I'm such anice agent, I do help a lot of
typical families out, of course,but so far with autism, I think,
because of all the restrictionsthat are still in place in
certain areas, it makes it kindof difficult to talk families
into traveling when they have tostill be, you know, not having
(16:07):
exceptions, in certain cases,with masks or, you know, some
children still below the age of12 can't be vaccinated. So that
can take out a lot of Europe, iffamily is wanting to go, or you
know, they have to wear theirmasks all the time. So it's just
like, Ah, that's fine, finebalance, I will say a lot of
typical families are bookingwith me now. But I'm positive
and waiting for autisticfamilies, once they feel
(16:30):
comfortable, you know, I don'twant to pressure anybody into
doing that. As far as servicesgoes, I try to think about,
like, what would I need if I wastraveling. So the bigger things
is, I don't just go on vacationto spend time with my kids, I
also go just take a little breakfor myself. So I partnered with
a respite care provider that shehas a team of respite care
(16:53):
providers that are traveling,and you can book through me a
respite care provider to comeand stay with you and or if
you're staying at a resort thatI can arrange for nanny services
to come in and watch your childfor however long. You want to
have them come in. Buttypically, I will book a trip
for somebody, but it doesn'tjust stop at me just clicking a
(17:15):
button and booking it I providelike point of view videos,
because my son is very much avisual person. So he likes to
know exactly where he's goingand seeing everything, he might
not focus completely on thevideo. But as long as he has an
idea in his head, which ingeneral, I've seen, with
autistic families, I books witha child really wants to, you
know, get a good idea of wherethey're going. So they're not
(17:37):
shocked, especially if they'regoing to somewhere like Disney,
where, you know, rides are veryscary. And if you don't know
what to expect, that can bevery, very intimidating. And
trust me, we had to walk out ofthe territory. I did not set my
son up for success on that.
Yeah, right. Uh,
Susan Fink (17:53):
yeah, I think priming is such a big deal. I
mean, just I know, My son isexactly the same way, if he
knows what is expected, and heknows what he's walking into,
it's a much better experience.
And then I can kind of preparefor different situations to
happen. We've discussed itbeforehand. So I think that's so
important.
Unknown (18:14):
And I try to encourage families, especially if they're
seeing like an occupationaltherapist, to model some things
like, my son doesn't respond tosocial stories, but you know,
some children do. So I'llencourage them to model like
staying at a hotel and like whatthat looks like, and maybe
utilizing a guest bedroom tostart small and then getting
bigger, and you know, going to alocal hotel in your area, just
(18:36):
so that they can, you know, getused to the idea of being in a
hotel, and it not being theirspace. And then another big
thing that I do is I sign upfamilies for TSA cares. And I
think that everybody in theirgrandmother has told me like
talk about this program. Butit's a it's a support services
offer through TSA cares, thatyou can sign up about 72 hours
(19:00):
before your flight. And theywill help you from security to
get through it. And in somecases, if your agent is like
super awesome, they'll help youall the way to your gate. And
it's just a way that they don'thave to remove their jacket and
or shoes or take off headsetsor, you know, your phones or
whatever. And it makes it justnot a scary, intimidating
process to get through securitywhile everybody has to go
(19:21):
through security. But it's justnice having that support. It's
for anybody that has adisability or a medical need.
And it's just, it's so Wow, it'sso amazing. And you're never
separated from your kid.
Susan Fink (19:32):
I was like, Oh my gosh, this is Oh, this is so
great. That's amazing. I neverheard of that before and you
just gave everybody a tip to saycares. That is so awesome. And
like you said like to not haveto remove articles of clothing
or like headsets if they'rehaving some sensory challenges,
you know, and just feelinguncomfortable. And I mean that's
(19:55):
that is gold right there. Youjust dropped right there. So
that is awesome. Awesome. Yeah,it sounds like you've really
added some really great valuableresources beyond just the
travel. You know, I think that'ssomething that a lot of people
may not even really think aboutof like the stories or the POV
(20:16):
fees and things that you'reoffering to families, because we
know that those are things thatwould help our children, but a
normal travel agent may not evenconsider any of that, right,
they don't have the experience.
So because you have theexperience with your own son,
like you can really help a lotof families make it a, you know,
a much better travel experience.
(20:38):
And I wanted to point out thatthing that you said about taking
time for yourself and therespite care that you can also
arrange, because that'sdefinitely something I think as
mothers, and especially specialneeds moms, where we do need to
also take time to enjoy thevacation and have some downtime
and to do some self care. So Ithink that's really cool that
(21:00):
you've partnered with therespite company to help people
as they're on vacation, that'ssomething that I didn't even
think about to even consider,you know, if I'm going on
vacation, right, and I think alot of other people might be the
same as me, they're not thinkingabout that. But like I said, you
know, it's, uh, you know, you,you know, a lot of these
resources that can help people,which is awesome,
Unknown (21:23):
because I feel like that is a big issue with us,
right, or special needs moms isthat we, we have a lot of
guilts, I think, for taking timefor ourselves. And lately, I've
been doing this thing where Itake solo trips with, by myself,
yeah, so I can take some timeto, you know, recharge my
battery, because I can't, Ican't fill from an empty cup.
(21:44):
And I'm, I've definitely learnedthat the hard way, you know, so
that's why I provide either,like, encouraged, you know,
other moms to go on to solotrips, or to definitely allow me
to coordinate respite care, orhave a nanny come in, because
it's, I mean, even
Susan Fink (22:01):
just a couple hours is so valuable on vacation, it
really is, and there's no guiltor shame, and allowing someone
else to watch your child whileyou sit by the pool and read a
book or, you know, whatever isself care to you, you know, and
I think you said it exactlyright, you know, you can't
really help your child or helpyour family or really be in a
positive mindset until you'vealso recharged yourself, you
(22:24):
know, and I think that'ssomething that I also had to
learn the hard way, I didn't doany of that for many years, and
I finally started doing that,and I was so much better of a
person in general is muchhappier. But, you know, being
able to be even better for myson, and to just enjoy, you
(22:44):
know, being with him too, and,and enjoy our time together, as
well. So I think that's reallyimportant. And the guilt is so
real, though, you know, Mom, ingeneral is real. But I also
think special, you know, specialneeds mom guilt is even bigger.
So it's something that we all doneed to overcome. And like, like
(23:05):
you said, even if it's for anhour or two hours, it's
definitely helpful, you know, tobe able to recharge, to be able
to Yeah, to enjoy your familytoo. So that's really awesome. I
think that's such a great point.
So important for all of ourlisteners, especially how do
people get ahold of you to workwith you on their travel or
upcoming travel.
Unknown (23:28):
So I can be found at www dot Lilly and Magnolia
travel calm, and that's Lilywith two L's not three, because
some people like to have theextra one. And then I'm on
Instagram and Facebook at thesame handle the land Magnolia
travel, and then I have a formthat you just fill out on my
website and we enter into aconsultation. And I love to talk
(23:52):
to people beforehand, so that Imake sure that I'm a right fit
for them because I don't want tobook a vacation and later to
find out that, you know, Iwasn't listening enough or, you
know, there was a breakdown incommunication. So I love having
a dialogue first before we evenstart planning anything. And
that's literally anything evenif you wanted to book a trip to
(24:12):
like, you know, I live inColorado. So if you wanted to
book a trip to Denver, I woulddefinitely want to talk to you
beforehand. So just so I knowwe're on the same page, and then
what you're expecting from meand how I can best serve you
because I again, I want to makesure that I'm providing the best
service possible and not leavingyou feeling super disappointed
and unheard, you know, becausewe know firsthand how it can be
(24:35):
really hard to feel heardespecially as as a mother of a
child with a disability so,
Susan Fink (24:40):
so I'll make sure that I have all of your
information where they peoplecan connect with you where they
can go to your website, and allof that on the show notes so
that everyone knows how to getin touch with you because I
think you have so many amazingresources to offer outside of
just the travel alone. All ofthe other resources and things
that you can actually cover isto help other families. So I
(25:02):
think that's also great that youcan chat with families before
they actually work with you.
Because I think it sounds likethere's, you know, you're
looking for families that youhave a connection with as well.
And I think that's really greatthat you will do that for other
families, too. So I wanted toask you as the final question of
this interview, Deena, do youhave any final words of wisdom
(25:23):
or advice that you can offerother families and parents
raising children with specialneeds and or autism, and things
from your experience that you'dlike to share?
Unknown (25:36):
I think we both kind of set it in the very beginning of
this podcast episode season,which is to really trust your
gut, regardless of what medicalprofessionals are saying, or
other people might be saying toyou. Because I really strongly
believe in like Mama, or theparent knows best, because I
(25:57):
mean, honestly, nobody knowsyour child better than you do.
So really, if you feel likethere's something off, or you're
just starting in your autismjourney, and you just don't know
what to do next, or where to go,I think just trusting your gut
and then the continue toadvocate for your loved one is
probably the best thing that youcan do for your family and your
(26:20):
child, especially. Because Ifeel like I would have gotten
services a lot sooner if I hadjust really listened to myself,
rather than letting the medicalcommunity keep brushing me off
into saying, No, there'ssomething going on, I need
someone to evaluate himyesterday. And then I get to ask
this other question aboutgetting started with travel, I
(26:40):
always get the same answer whensomeone is considering traveling
with their autistic child orautistic loved one, because the
place that I'm certified as anautism travel professional, they
gave a survey to parents withsomeone on the autistic autism
spectrum that said somethingabout 86% of families with
(27:01):
someone with autism do nottravel, because there's not
enough support services outthere for them. And I really
want to change that narrativeand encourage people to travel
but not starting with thesehumongous, you know, two week
plan trips, start really, reallysmall, like we were talking a
little bit, which is, you know,maybe you do a staycation in
(27:23):
your hometown that you live in.
And then once your child hassuccessfully navigated that,
then moving it up to maybe athree to four hour car drive to
another city within your stateor maybe a state next door, and
then keep making your tripslonger and further as they get
used to the idea of travelingand as they get used to
traveling because it's easier totake a step back, when you're in
(27:46):
your hometown and go, Okay, thisis not going so well. So I'm
proud of them that they got thisfar. And then to be able to go
home, if you know it doesn'twork out after the second night
at the hotel. So I really liketo, I think we called it priming
to set your child up for successso that they can get used to the
idea of traveling. And then youalso get used to the idea of
traveling and what it looks likefor your family. So yeah, those
Susan Fink (28:12):
are awesome, awesome words of advice and wisdom. I
totally agree with you listeningto your gut like we talked
about. And I think that's reallygreat advice for families with
travel. And it's really, I lovethat you want to change that
narrative, I think all of uswould love to change that too.
And be able to write have thesupport we need when we're
(28:33):
traveling with our children whohave special needs, whether it's
autism or other special needsand anticipating what those
challenges could be so that theycan have the support out there
and starting small. You know,like you said, it can be a
staycation it can be somethingwhere you can return home, if
something you know is going onthat you would need to do that.
And just taking baby steps. AndI think the more that people can
(28:56):
get more comfortable and knowingand anticipating what's going to
happen, the more success they'llhave in the long run. So I think
that's really, really greatadvice. I just so glad that we
were able to connect today andthat you were able to share not
only your journey with yourfamily and your son some great
advice, and you know, words ofwisdom to families, but also the
(29:21):
services that you have to offerthrough Lily and Magnolia travel
is so cool that you've pivotedto help other families and
helping them through theirjourney and travel so that you
can change that narrative. So Iam so happy that we've connected
and I really appreciate yourtime today and also for our
listeners to let them know howthey can get in touch with you
(29:42):
and let them know how you canhelp them. So thank you so much
Dina, I really appreciate yourtime and I really hope that the
listeners out there that youwill reach out to Dina at Lily
and Magnolia travel when you arestarting to make your travel
arrangements and don't be afraidto take that first step. I
think, you know, making surethat you don't let fear hold you
(30:03):
back, that there are resources,there are ways to go about
taking an attempt to travel andbeing able to experience more in
this world that has to offer. Sothank you so much, Dean, I
really appreciate your time.
Unknown (30:17):
Thank you, Susan. It was really fun like way.
Susan Fink (30:20):
So I think Dina and I had our wires crossed there
for a second, but I know thatshe was super grateful to be
able to speak to all of youabout her journey about her
experience, especially being ina military family, I have not
had a guest on the show that isactually handling different
situations with an autisticchild in a military situation
where you're moving to differentplaces. So that adds another
(30:42):
layer of complexity. So if thisepisode has helped you, if you
resonate with this, if you feellike this is something that you
needed to hear today, pleasemake sure that you follow this
podcast, share this podcast withsomeone who might need to hear
it. I know that Dena droppedsome really great advice,
especially on travel and if youare looking for making travel
arrangements, please reach outto her so that she can help you
(31:04):
and taking those steps so thatyou know that you can be
supported that your family andyour loved ones your children
can be supported in your traveladventures. So as you know, my
mission is to help as manypeople as I can and I cannot do
that without you. So thank youso much for listening. Thank you
for being here today. And as Ialways say you are not alone in
(31:25):
this journey, stay connected,reach out there are solutions
out there to help you. So untilnext time, I appreciate I
empathize and I am here for youand we can do this
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.