March 26, 2021 • 17 mins
What does feeling helpless actually mean? According to the American Psychological Association, learned helplessness occurs when someone repeatedly faces uncontrollable, stressful situations, then does not exercise control when it becomes available.
Helplessness can come from a single event, like trauma, or a series of events that are recurring. it can lead to depression and often puts your brain into fight or flight mode.
Helplessness basically is a feeling of not being in control. Powerlessness. You can overwhelm the areas of the brain responsible for problem solving and judgment and things get cloudy - you can’t think on your feet, find solutions to make things better or problem-solve.
Often when feeling helpless or other emotions, people tend to ‘buffer’ which is a way to avoid the emotion or feeling. They turn to binge watching netflix, over eating, binge drinking or having a night out to unwind - but don’t really tackle and face the emotion. Avoidance and running away from the emotion might feel good for the moment, but it doesn’t resolve anything does it?
Are we really helpless though? This is a feeling - and feelings are often not facts. It doesn’t mean we should disregard those feelings, but we should consider how we approach them.
Yes, absolutely, there are things we may not have control over, but we have to shift and find out what we DO have control over. Identifying what we have control over helps to reduce the feeling of helplessness - but it’s not always an easy way to get there.
- Turn to your senses - grounding
- Three types of grounding: Physical, Mental and Soothing
- Focus on the now Mindfulness - Focused on the present, not the past or the future
- Journal - Get your emotions out - release what you’re thinking
- Get support - Talk to someone you trust.
- Figure out your resources - Make a plan
- One step at a time, one day at a time.
Follow Rise with the Light so you don't miss another episode.
Follow me on Instagram @susanfink.rise and check out my new website: https://www.risemindset.com/ to connect even more.
Help is available, support is here. You are not alone in your journey!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Susan Fink (00:09):
Hey everyone, and welcome to the rise with the
light podcast. My name is SusanFink and this is my weekly
podcast dedicated to supportingfamilies raising children with
special needs. I'm on a missionto provide hope and positivity
through sharing my personalinsights, stories, mindset
perspectives, and ways tonavigate through this journey.
Let's get started.
Unknown (00:44):
Hi, everyone. And thank you so much for joining me
today, I wanted to quicklymention to make sure that you
follow this podcast so that youdon't miss another episode. And
if these episodes are helpingyou if the topics and
conversations with guests andadvice is getting you home and
is helping you feel that you'renot alone, please leave a star
rating comment on the podcastepisode or also share the
podcast so that I can help otherpeople as well. I wanted to jump
(01:07):
right into this topic today,which is all about feeling
helpless. And I emphasize theword feeling because
helplessness is actually afeeling. And usually when you
feel helpless, it's because youfeel that you're out of control
of something, you're facing anuncontrollable situation a
(01:31):
stressful situation that you arenot able to necessarily control
or you don't know what you canactually control in the given
situation. And feeling helplesscan come from a single event, it
can come from some sort oftrauma, it can also be a series
of events that are recurring.
And when you feel helpless,oftentimes you get into a fight
(01:51):
or flight situation. And it canreally be overwhelming. It's
this powerlessness that comesover you it's this feeling of
not being in control. So whathappens is that area of your
brain that's responsible forproblem solving and identifying
solutions basically shuts downyour head can get really cloudy,
you can't really think clearlyyou can't identify the solutions
(02:13):
to solve your problems. So hasthis happened to you? Have you
ever felt helpless? Do you feeloftentimes that you don't have
control over differentsituations, this happens to me a
lot. And as a single parent,raising a child with autism and
special needs, there are a lotof things that are out of my
control, especially when itcomes to his behaviors and his
(02:36):
capabilities of things that heis having a challenge with.
Oftentimes I feel helpless. Ifeel like I don't know what to
do, or I'm not equipped with theknowledge and the information of
how to actually help him. And Ifelt helpless in other
situations too, especially inrelationships, or when you're
dealing with other people in thepandemic, right, we have been
(02:57):
helpless, there has been so muchthat has been out of our
control. And that sense of beingout of control can lead to
feeling helpless. Oftentimeswhen people feel helpless. They
buffer and buffering in thiscase is avoiding the emotion or
avoiding the feeling. Soavoidance or escapism could look
(03:19):
like binge watching Netflix,overeating, binge drinking, we
don't really face the emotionand we don't face the helpless
feeling. We try to numbourselves of it and escape the
feeling. And that might actuallyfeel really good at the moment.
But it really doesn't resolveanything, it doesn't help us in
the long run. And that feelingcan continue, that helplessness
(03:41):
can continue because we are notaddressing the root of where
that emotion is coming from. Sowhich would you rather do? Would
you rather resolve and work onthe root of it or continue to
numb yourself and escape theemotion that you're going
through that feeling ofhelplessness, but I have a
question for you. Are we reallyhelpless? That's why I emphasize
(04:03):
in the beginning, the feeling ofhelplessness, are we actually
helpless? In some situations, wemay not be able to control a lot
of different things, but weactually have more control over
how we're approaching asituation or how we're thinking
about a situation so feelingsare not always facts and that's
(04:24):
something that can becontroversial to some but the
feelings may not actually berepresenting what is really
happening. It's It's a feelingthat we are experiencing, but it
may actually not be what isreality in front of us. I'm not
saying to disregard our feelingsat all. We should absolutely
feel all the feelings that wehave. But we have control over
(04:46):
what we do about those feelingsand helplessness is one of those
we actually have more controlover feeling helpless. We just
have to exercise that controland understand
What we can control and what wecan't control and how we
approach this emotion ofhelplessness. So yes, there are
(05:07):
absolutely things that we haveno control over. And especially
when it comes to our childrenwith special needs, there are a
lot of things we don't havecontrol over. But we have to
shift and find out what we dohave control over identifying
what we can control helps us toreduce the feeling of
helplessness. It's not alwayseasy to get there. And I totally
get it. I was going through thisfeeling of helplessness
(05:28):
recently. And I published it onsocial media, because I wanted
people to know that it's okay tofeel helpless. But there are
things that you can do in thatsituation. And I have this
feeling often. But I've learneda lot of tools and things that I
can implement. In those momentsof feeling helpless, when I feel
(05:48):
my brain getting overwhelmed.
When I feel myself feelingoverwhelmed by things that I
cannot control, I have been ableto shift my mind to the things I
can control. But that doesn'tmean that I don't address those
feelings. So if you follow me onsocial media at Susan Fink dot
rise, you may have come across areel that I did, where I was
crying in front of the camera.
And I was explaining that evenon social media, it's not always
(06:12):
rainbows and unicorns, right?
It's not always this prettypicture. This is real life. This
is authentic, real life that'shappening. And I wanted people
to see that if you are feelinghelpless, there are tools that
you can implement to get throughthat emotion. And the more that
you exercise these tools, themore that you practice, facing
(06:32):
your emotions of helplessness,understanding what you can and
cannot control and thenimplementing tools that you can
do and practice that the easierit becomes a less helpless you
feel was so it stemmed from thereal was that I was just feeling
incredibly helpless. I sat in mycar and just cried, I let it
out. I was sobbinguncontrollably. And I had to let
(06:56):
those feelings out. So like Isaid, even if you're feeling
helpless, you still need to letthose emotions out. I called my
parents so that I could talk tothem and work out what I was
feeling and talk out loud tosomeone. And after I got calm, I
was able to figure out okay,what are the resources? What are
the things that I have controlover. And I wanted people in
(07:17):
this real to know that they'renot alone, that you can take
steps to break free from thishelpless feeling. And I know a
lot of parents go through this,whether you have a child with
autism or special needs or notparents, people, everyone goes
through feeling this helplessfeeling because it basically
just means that you feeloverwhelmed because you don't
(07:39):
have control over a lot ofthings. And that's why it's so
important to pivot the way thatyou're thinking. So how do you
do this, there are a number ofdifferent things that you can do
when you're in a helplessemotional state. The things that
I have found that work for meis, like I said, feel those
feelings, let it out. Talk tosomeone, get support from
(08:00):
someone you trust your familymembers, your friends, another
parent, someone that you canturn to, to get support. So just
to be able to speak about youremotions to get it out. If you
don't have someone to talk to atthat given moment, write it
down, write in the journal, getit out, talk out loud, pray
verbally get it out of yourbody, being able to communicate
(08:21):
what you're feeling is one ofthe things that is really
cathartic to be able to let itgo cry, I cry a lot. I have to
let those emotions out becauseif I don't, they will manifest
into other things. So the firstthing is just to get out what
you're feeling to get out whatyou're feeling in a productive
(08:41):
way. Then the next step is toturn to your senses. There's
this practice called grounding.
And grounding can help in anysort of emotional state and
helplessness is one of those. Soif you're feeling helpless,
think about your senses. What doyou see? What do you smell? What
do you hear? What do you tasteif you're eating or drinking,
use your senses to help groundyourself emotionally turn your
(09:05):
focus to those senses. Andthere's three different types of
grounding actually, there'sphysical grounding, mental
grounding, and soothinggrounding. And I talk about
those in some of the reels thatI have on Instagram. Because
there are different ways thatyou can actually Sue yourself
and ground yourself so that youhave it your brain and where
you're focusing so that you arenot going around in a circle in
(09:27):
your mind of this helplessness.
It breaks the pattern orruminating about the helpless
feeling it breaks that cycle. Soan example of grounding could be
if you're washing the dishes,for example, you're focusing on
the running water, you'refocusing on the sound of the
dishes clinking together of thewater hitting the plates of the
water filling the cup, you'refeeling the soap in between your
(09:48):
fingers, you're focusing on thesmell of the soap. So do you see
this example? It's really honingin and focusing your brain
On the senses, that breaks youfree from whatever emotion
you're going through, and inthis case, feeling helpless. So
(10:08):
this is kind of a similarpractice to mindfulness focusing
on the present. And usinggrounding and using your senses
to do that is one way to focuson what is happening right now.
Sometimes we get emotional, andsometimes we feel helpless,
because we are thinking aboutthe future, or we're thinking
about something that happened inthe past, if you can bring
(10:29):
yourself to the present, andlook around you to be able to
identify what is going on rightnow. That is a powerful tool.
Oftentimes, when I feelhelpless, I start thinking about
the future in this situationthat I spoke about when I was
crying. And I was, you know,just having a really difficult
time feeling helpless aboutsomething about my son in his
(10:52):
situation. I started thinkingabout the future, what is this
going to be like for him nextweek? What is this going to be
like for him in a year from now?
What is this going to be likefor him in five years from now,
I mean, I was really out ofcontrol, I my mind was just
going to places where I gotoverwhelmed. And on top of it, I
almost felt stuck in my brain.
When you are feeling helpless.
Oftentimes, you like I mentionedearlier, you fight or you flight
(11:15):
oftentimes, for me, I flight, Ihave a really hard time with
focusing my brain, I have areally hard time with finding
solutions, problem solving. Andit's because this emotion is
attacking this part of yourbrain. So getting focused, using
grounding, using these tools,talking to other people,
journaling, praying, whateverthat looks like for you to be
(11:36):
able to get out your emotions,but also then refocus your
brain. And this takes a lot ofintention and practice, it may
sound like oh, okay, I can justwash the dishes. And then all of
a sudden, I'm not thinking aboutbeing helpless anymore. It's not
the easiest thing to do. But itdoes take practice. But if you
can implement these tools,you'll be able to break free
from that helpless feeling. Sogetting that support talking to
(11:57):
other people focusing on yoursenses, getting mindful in the
present moment and truly helpyou break free. Another type of
grounding is just steppingoutside. I talk about this a
lot. Because if you can changeyour environment, step outside,
feel the sun on your face, feelthe wind in your hair, hear the
sounds of the birds, go for awalk, feel every single step,
(12:19):
move slowly and feel all of thesenses around you and become
laser focused in that. If youcan shift your brain to this
type of grounding exercise, andusing your senses, it can truly
help you break free from thehelplessness. And once you have
gotten all of your emotions outonce you've been able to talk to
(12:41):
someone or journal or prayer,whatever that is, once you've
been able to to focus on yoursenses, then figure out a plan.
What are the resources that youhave around you that can help
your situation? What do you havecontrol over and grab on to that
in the situation I talked aboutwhen I was feeling helpless.
After I was able to get all ofthis out, get all of my emotions
(13:02):
out I was I was able to getgrounded through my senses, I
was able to get calm. I reachedout to resources through my
son's school, through histherapist through friends that I
know that have gone throughsimilar situations, I reached
out to figure out what can I doto help him What can I control
and then once you figure outwhat you can control, take
(13:23):
action make a plan. You see,when you feel helpless, and you
are not breaking through thatemotion, you get stuck and
you're unable to solve problems,you're unable to really see
clearly, it's like a brain fog.
And if you're nodding your headthat you have felt this way
before and you often feel thisway breaking free from that is
the first step because until youactually break free from that
(13:45):
emotion, you are not going to beable to see what you can control
and to get clear on what are thethings that you can do. What are
the actions that you can take.
So once you do get clear, make aplan and then take it one step
at a time one day at a time. Wedon't have to solve the world's
problems. We don't have to solvethe problems of tomorrow
necessarily, we don't have tothink so far ahead. But we can
(14:07):
get clear in our brains we canrefocus, to break through the
helpless feeling to then figureout a plan and figure out what
we can control, figure out whatour resources are, who can we
turn to for help, then executethat plan and take action. So
you may be going through this tomaybe on a daily basis. Like I
(14:28):
mentioned before, I feelhelpless a lot because there are
so many things out of my controland especially related to my
son, there's so many things thathe needs help with that I'm not
professionally trained to helphim I often feel out of control
when it comes to him and hisneeds. And then there's the rest
of life right outside of my son.
(14:49):
There's life in general wherewe're going to be faced with
this feeling of helplessnesswe're going to be faced with
things that we don't havecontrol over. But rather than
running away from this emotion,rather than
escaping it and numbingourselves, tackle it head on.
And I know this is not easy fora lot of people. And it wasn't
easy for me I escaped theseemotions for a really long time
(15:10):
in a variety of different ways.
But once I broke through, and Ifaced my emotions, and I figured
out the tools that I can use,and I figured out how to deal
with my emotions, I was able tounderstand the things that I had
control over and make a plan tonot only support my son, but to
also support myself so that thehopelessness feeling does not
(15:31):
control me, it's so that I cancontrol that helplessness,
feeling and emotion in my life.
So that's it for this episode.
If you relate to this, pleasefollow this podcast so that you
don't miss an episode. Andfollow me on Instagram at Susan
Fink dot rise as well. And checkout my new website rise
mindset.com to connect evenmore. The thing I want you to
(15:53):
take away from this is that youare not alone in this journey.
So many people are going throughthe same things that you're
going through. And I hope thatthis episode of feeling helpless
and how you can break throughthe helpless feeling and find
your strength to be able tofigure out the things you can
control and handle your emotionsand face your emotions has
(16:16):
helped you today. So please stayconnected, reach out, there are
solutions out there to help andyou can do it. And as you know
my mission is to help as manypeople as I can and I cannot do
that without you. So thank youso much for listening. Thank you
for your support and sharingthis podcast to help others and
until next time, I appreciate Iempathize and I am here for you
(16:37):
and we can do this
Hey everyone, and welcome to the rise with the
light podcast. My name is SusanFink and this is my weekly
podcast dedicated to supportingfamilies raising children with
special needs. I'm on a missionto provide hope and positivity
through sharing my personalinsights, stories, mindset
perspectives, and ways tonavigate through this journey.
Let's get started.
Unknown (00:44):
Hi, everyone. And thank you so much for joining me
today, I wanted to quicklymention to make sure that you
follow this podcast so that youdon't miss another episode. And
if these episodes are helpingyou if the topics and
conversations with guests andadvice is getting you home and
is helping you feel that you'renot alone, please leave a star
rating comment on the podcastepisode or also share the
podcast so that I can help otherpeople as well. I wanted to jump
(01:07):
right into this topic today,which is all about feeling
helpless. And I emphasize theword feeling because
helplessness is actually afeeling. And usually when you
feel helpless, it's because youfeel that you're out of control
of something, you're facing anuncontrollable situation a
(01:31):
stressful situation that you arenot able to necessarily control
or you don't know what you canactually control in the given
situation. And feeling helplesscan come from a single event, it
can come from some sort oftrauma, it can also be a series
of events that are recurring.
And when you feel helpless,oftentimes you get into a fight
(01:51):
or flight situation. And it canreally be overwhelming. It's
this powerlessness that comesover you it's this feeling of
not being in control. So whathappens is that area of your
brain that's responsible forproblem solving and identifying
solutions basically shuts downyour head can get really cloudy,
you can't really think clearlyyou can't identify the solutions
(02:13):
to solve your problems. So hasthis happened to you? Have you
ever felt helpless? Do you feeloftentimes that you don't have
control over differentsituations, this happens to me a
lot. And as a single parent,raising a child with autism and
special needs, there are a lotof things that are out of my
control, especially when itcomes to his behaviors and his
(02:36):
capabilities of things that heis having a challenge with.
Oftentimes I feel helpless. Ifeel like I don't know what to
do, or I'm not equipped with theknowledge and the information of
how to actually help him. And Ifelt helpless in other
situations too, especially inrelationships, or when you're
dealing with other people in thepandemic, right, we have been
(02:57):
helpless, there has been so muchthat has been out of our
control. And that sense of beingout of control can lead to
feeling helpless. Oftentimeswhen people feel helpless. They
buffer and buffering in thiscase is avoiding the emotion or
avoiding the feeling. Soavoidance or escapism could look
(03:19):
like binge watching Netflix,overeating, binge drinking, we
don't really face the emotionand we don't face the helpless
feeling. We try to numbourselves of it and escape the
feeling. And that might actuallyfeel really good at the moment.
But it really doesn't resolveanything, it doesn't help us in
the long run. And that feelingcan continue, that helplessness
(03:41):
can continue because we are notaddressing the root of where
that emotion is coming from. Sowhich would you rather do? Would
you rather resolve and work onthe root of it or continue to
numb yourself and escape theemotion that you're going
through that feeling ofhelplessness, but I have a
question for you. Are we reallyhelpless? That's why I emphasize
(04:03):
in the beginning, the feeling ofhelplessness, are we actually
helpless? In some situations, wemay not be able to control a lot
of different things, but weactually have more control over
how we're approaching asituation or how we're thinking
about a situation so feelingsare not always facts and that's
(04:24):
something that can becontroversial to some but the
feelings may not actually berepresenting what is really
happening. It's It's a feelingthat we are experiencing, but it
may actually not be what isreality in front of us. I'm not
saying to disregard our feelingsat all. We should absolutely
feel all the feelings that wehave. But we have control over
(04:46):
what we do about those feelingsand helplessness is one of those
we actually have more controlover feeling helpless. We just
have to exercise that controland understand
What we can control and what wecan't control and how we
approach this emotion ofhelplessness. So yes, there are
(05:07):
absolutely things that we haveno control over. And especially
when it comes to our childrenwith special needs, there are a
lot of things we don't havecontrol over. But we have to
shift and find out what we dohave control over identifying
what we can control helps us toreduce the feeling of
helplessness. It's not alwayseasy to get there. And I totally
get it. I was going through thisfeeling of helplessness
(05:28):
recently. And I published it onsocial media, because I wanted
people to know that it's okay tofeel helpless. But there are
things that you can do in thatsituation. And I have this
feeling often. But I've learneda lot of tools and things that I
can implement. In those momentsof feeling helpless, when I feel
(05:48):
my brain getting overwhelmed.
When I feel myself feelingoverwhelmed by things that I
cannot control, I have been ableto shift my mind to the things I
can control. But that doesn'tmean that I don't address those
feelings. So if you follow me onsocial media at Susan Fink dot
rise, you may have come across areel that I did, where I was
crying in front of the camera.
And I was explaining that evenon social media, it's not always
(06:12):
rainbows and unicorns, right?
It's not always this prettypicture. This is real life. This
is authentic, real life that'shappening. And I wanted people
to see that if you are feelinghelpless, there are tools that
you can implement to get throughthat emotion. And the more that
you exercise these tools, themore that you practice, facing
(06:32):
your emotions of helplessness,understanding what you can and
cannot control and thenimplementing tools that you can
do and practice that the easierit becomes a less helpless you
feel was so it stemmed from thereal was that I was just feeling
incredibly helpless. I sat in mycar and just cried, I let it
out. I was sobbinguncontrollably. And I had to let
(06:56):
those feelings out. So like Isaid, even if you're feeling
helpless, you still need to letthose emotions out. I called my
parents so that I could talk tothem and work out what I was
feeling and talk out loud tosomeone. And after I got calm, I
was able to figure out okay,what are the resources? What are
the things that I have controlover. And I wanted people in
(07:17):
this real to know that they'renot alone, that you can take
steps to break free from thishelpless feeling. And I know a
lot of parents go through this,whether you have a child with
autism or special needs or notparents, people, everyone goes
through feeling this helplessfeeling because it basically
just means that you feeloverwhelmed because you don't
(07:39):
have control over a lot ofthings. And that's why it's so
important to pivot the way thatyou're thinking. So how do you
do this, there are a number ofdifferent things that you can do
when you're in a helplessemotional state. The things that
I have found that work for meis, like I said, feel those
feelings, let it out. Talk tosomeone, get support from
(08:00):
someone you trust your familymembers, your friends, another
parent, someone that you canturn to, to get support. So just
to be able to speak about youremotions to get it out. If you
don't have someone to talk to atthat given moment, write it
down, write in the journal, getit out, talk out loud, pray
verbally get it out of yourbody, being able to communicate
(08:21):
what you're feeling is one ofthe things that is really
cathartic to be able to let itgo cry, I cry a lot. I have to
let those emotions out becauseif I don't, they will manifest
into other things. So the firstthing is just to get out what
you're feeling to get out whatyou're feeling in a productive
(08:41):
way. Then the next step is toturn to your senses. There's
this practice called grounding.
And grounding can help in anysort of emotional state and
helplessness is one of those. Soif you're feeling helpless,
think about your senses. What doyou see? What do you smell? What
do you hear? What do you tasteif you're eating or drinking,
use your senses to help groundyourself emotionally turn your
(09:05):
focus to those senses. Andthere's three different types of
grounding actually, there'sphysical grounding, mental
grounding, and soothinggrounding. And I talk about
those in some of the reels thatI have on Instagram. Because
there are different ways thatyou can actually Sue yourself
and ground yourself so that youhave it your brain and where
you're focusing so that you arenot going around in a circle in
(09:27):
your mind of this helplessness.
It breaks the pattern orruminating about the helpless
feeling it breaks that cycle. Soan example of grounding could be
if you're washing the dishes,for example, you're focusing on
the running water, you'refocusing on the sound of the
dishes clinking together of thewater hitting the plates of the
water filling the cup, you'refeeling the soap in between your
(09:48):
fingers, you're focusing on thesmell of the soap. So do you see
this example? It's really honingin and focusing your brain
On the senses, that breaks youfree from whatever emotion
you're going through, and inthis case, feeling helpless. So
(10:08):
this is kind of a similarpractice to mindfulness focusing
on the present. And usinggrounding and using your senses
to do that is one way to focuson what is happening right now.
Sometimes we get emotional, andsometimes we feel helpless,
because we are thinking aboutthe future, or we're thinking
about something that happened inthe past, if you can bring
(10:29):
yourself to the present, andlook around you to be able to
identify what is going on rightnow. That is a powerful tool.
Oftentimes, when I feelhelpless, I start thinking about
the future in this situationthat I spoke about when I was
crying. And I was, you know,just having a really difficult
time feeling helpless aboutsomething about my son in his
(10:52):
situation. I started thinkingabout the future, what is this
going to be like for him nextweek? What is this going to be
like for him in a year from now?
What is this going to be likefor him in five years from now,
I mean, I was really out ofcontrol, I my mind was just
going to places where I gotoverwhelmed. And on top of it, I
almost felt stuck in my brain.
When you are feeling helpless.
Oftentimes, you like I mentionedearlier, you fight or you flight
(11:15):
oftentimes, for me, I flight, Ihave a really hard time with
focusing my brain, I have areally hard time with finding
solutions, problem solving. Andit's because this emotion is
attacking this part of yourbrain. So getting focused, using
grounding, using these tools,talking to other people,
journaling, praying, whateverthat looks like for you to be
(11:36):
able to get out your emotions,but also then refocus your
brain. And this takes a lot ofintention and practice, it may
sound like oh, okay, I can justwash the dishes. And then all of
a sudden, I'm not thinking aboutbeing helpless anymore. It's not
the easiest thing to do. But itdoes take practice. But if you
can implement these tools,you'll be able to break free
from that helpless feeling. Sogetting that support talking to
(11:57):
other people focusing on yoursenses, getting mindful in the
present moment and truly helpyou break free. Another type of
grounding is just steppingoutside. I talk about this a
lot. Because if you can changeyour environment, step outside,
feel the sun on your face, feelthe wind in your hair, hear the
sounds of the birds, go for awalk, feel every single step,
(12:19):
move slowly and feel all of thesenses around you and become
laser focused in that. If youcan shift your brain to this
type of grounding exercise, andusing your senses, it can truly
help you break free from thehelplessness. And once you have
gotten all of your emotions outonce you've been able to talk to
(12:41):
someone or journal or prayer,whatever that is, once you've
been able to to focus on yoursenses, then figure out a plan.
What are the resources that youhave around you that can help
your situation? What do you havecontrol over and grab on to that
in the situation I talked aboutwhen I was feeling helpless.
After I was able to get all ofthis out, get all of my emotions
(13:02):
out I was I was able to getgrounded through my senses, I
was able to get calm. I reachedout to resources through my
son's school, through histherapist through friends that I
know that have gone throughsimilar situations, I reached
out to figure out what can I doto help him What can I control
and then once you figure outwhat you can control, take
(13:23):
action make a plan. You see,when you feel helpless, and you
are not breaking through thatemotion, you get stuck and
you're unable to solve problems,you're unable to really see
clearly, it's like a brain fog.
And if you're nodding your headthat you have felt this way
before and you often feel thisway breaking free from that is
the first step because until youactually break free from that
(13:45):
emotion, you are not going to beable to see what you can control
and to get clear on what are thethings that you can do. What are
the actions that you can take.
So once you do get clear, make aplan and then take it one step
at a time one day at a time. Wedon't have to solve the world's
problems. We don't have to solvethe problems of tomorrow
necessarily, we don't have tothink so far ahead. But we can
(14:07):
get clear in our brains we canrefocus, to break through the
helpless feeling to then figureout a plan and figure out what
we can control, figure out whatour resources are, who can we
turn to for help, then executethat plan and take action. So
you may be going through this tomaybe on a daily basis. Like I
(14:28):
mentioned before, I feelhelpless a lot because there are
so many things out of my controland especially related to my
son, there's so many things thathe needs help with that I'm not
professionally trained to helphim I often feel out of control
when it comes to him and hisneeds. And then there's the rest
of life right outside of my son.
(14:49):
There's life in general wherewe're going to be faced with
this feeling of helplessnesswe're going to be faced with
things that we don't havecontrol over. But rather than
running away from this emotion,rather than
escaping it and numbingourselves, tackle it head on.
And I know this is not easy fora lot of people. And it wasn't
easy for me I escaped theseemotions for a really long time
(15:10):
in a variety of different ways.
But once I broke through, and Ifaced my emotions, and I figured
out the tools that I can use,and I figured out how to deal
with my emotions, I was able tounderstand the things that I had
control over and make a plan tonot only support my son, but to
also support myself so that thehopelessness feeling does not
(15:31):
control me, it's so that I cancontrol that helplessness,
feeling and emotion in my life.
So that's it for this episode.
If you relate to this, pleasefollow this podcast so that you
don't miss an episode. Andfollow me on Instagram at Susan
Fink dot rise as well. And checkout my new website rise
mindset.com to connect evenmore. The thing I want you to
(15:53):
take away from this is that youare not alone in this journey.
So many people are going throughthe same things that you're
going through. And I hope thatthis episode of feeling helpless
and how you can break throughthe helpless feeling and find
your strength to be able tofigure out the things you can
control and handle your emotionsand face your emotions has
(16:16):
helped you today. So please stayconnected, reach out, there are
solutions out there to help andyou can do it. And as you know
my mission is to help as manypeople as I can and I cannot do
that without you. So thank youso much for listening. Thank you
for your support and sharingthis podcast to help others and
until next time, I appreciate Iempathize and I am here for you
(16:37):
and we can do this
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!