Using a Stone Two Ways: Working Through Emotions and Letting Go

Rise with the Light is not only about challenges we go through as parents with special needs children, but I also cover  making mindset shifts to help you in everyday life deal with different struggles you might be going through, to give you a different perspective and ways to practice. Throughout my journey in battling a variety of challenges from cancer, brain surgery, divorce while 8 months pregnant, autism diagnosis of my son, being a single mom and other situations, I have had to work incredibly hard with being intentional with mindset changes - and this takes practice, so I hope these mindset tips and hacks help you too. 

I want to talk to you about how a simple object, like a stone, can help you relieve emotions, particularly anxiety and help you let go.

Have you ever carried around a rock, stone or small pebble in your pocket? You could also use a seashell, or any sort of small object to be honest. Carrying this object around with you, in your pocket, easily accessible can help you with grounding in the present, especially when faced with a challenging emotion, such as anxiety. They help you with alleviating anxiety, feeling anxious during a situation, even if you feel like you’re thinking negatively about the future, having ruminating thoughts over and over again. Take out the rock/stone, whatever it is and ground yourself. Grounding yourself is all about using your senses, and using a stone or object, here is what you can do: 

• Close your eyes
• Hold the stone/object, feel it with your fingers
• Open your eyes to look at the object
• Bring your focus to the physical sensation of the stone, being aware of what you see and feel
• Take a deep breath and state a mantra, positive statement or security statement such as “I am okay.” “This too shall pass.” even a prayer like the serenity prayer. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 
• Then put the object back in your pocket or whatever it was easily accessible for you. 

When you start feeling anxious, pull that object out and repeat the process. 

If you’re having a hard time letting go, here is another way to use a stone.

I learned this in a therapy session many many years ago. The idea here is to physically let go of something to help you let go of something you’re struggling with in your mind. You can actually do this with just a piece of paper and pen, which I’ll tell you how to do this, but with a stone/rock, you can literally pick it up, label the stone whatever you need to let go of. Speak to it, then throw it. Making sure you don’t hit anyone. What I have found is sometimes I am in my own head and thoughts and it’s hard to turn it off and let it go. I have to do something physical to work through my thoughts. To let them go. You can do this with a paper and pencil too. Write whatever it is you need to let go of, a negative thought, whatever is on your mind - write it down...talk to it, give it the space in your mind for a few minutes. Then, crumple it up and throw it away, burn it (safely), rip it into tiny pieces, whatever you need to do to get rid of it and let go. These physical acts can be very cathartic, healing, and create significant mindshifts. To let go of the thoughts that are taking space in your mind, to make room for more positive things to come in. 

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Episode Transcript

Unknown (00:09):
Hey everyone, and welcome to the rise with the
light podcast. My name is SusanFink and this is my weekly
podcast dedicated to supportingfamilies raising children with
special needs. I'm on a missionto provide hope and positivity
through sharing my personalinsights, stories, mindset
perspectives, and ways tonavigate through this journey.
Let's get started.

(00:47):
Hi, everyone. And thank you somuch for joining me today I
wanted to quickly mention tomake sure that you follow this
podcast so you don't missanother episode. And if these
episodes and information ishelping you please leave a star
rating comment or share thispodcast so that I can also help
other people. Now this podcastis primarily to support parents
raising children with specialneeds. And as you know, My son

(01:09):
has autism. So I am speakingmostly about my own personal
experience. But I also want totake time to focus on making
mindset shifts to help you ineveryday life and deal with the
different struggles that wemight be going through these
mindset shifts and mindset hackscan give you a different
perspective and provide you withtools and ways to practice

(01:31):
making shifts in your mindset.
And throughout my journey andbattling a variety of different
challenges such as cervicalcancer, brain surgery, divorce
when I was eight months pregnantand autism diagnosis of my son
and other situations, I have hadto work incredibly hard with
being intentional with mymindset and figuring out ways to
make different shifts that willhelp me live a more fulfilling

(01:51):
and positive life. And thistakes practice. So I hope that
these mindset tips and hackswill help you too. And this
episode is about a mindset shiftand tools that you can use to
make shifts. So I want to talkto you about a simple object
that can help you relieveanxiety or help you let go. Have
you ever carried around a stoneor a rock or a small pebble or

(02:14):
something in your pocket.
Honestly, this can be any sortof small object that has some
meaning to you. But a smallobject as simple as a stone. If
you carry this around, this canactually help you relieve
different emotions, specificallyanxiety that can help you become
more grounded in the present.
The way that this helps youalleviate anxiety is that when

(02:35):
you are in a situation andyou're feeling anxious, or even
any other sort of emotion,you're feeling angry, you're
feeling frustrated, I use itfrom an anxiety perspective. So
when I feel anxious when I'mstarting to overthink when I'm
thinking negatively about thefuture, when I'm ruminating
about the thoughts that aregoing over and over in my head,
I take out the stone. And I useit as a grounding process for me

(02:59):
to become more present so thatI'm not thinking so far ahead.
And I'm trying to gain morecontrol of my emotions. And
grounding is all about yoursenses. So using a physical
object can actually help you dothat. So a rock a stone, it
could be a shell, it could besomething that is just a little
object that you can have in yourpocket, or that you could put in

(03:22):
your pocket book can put in yourpurse, you can just have it
accessible to you. And it canhelp you in the moment. And I
know oftentimes when we are inthe moment, a lot of times our
fight or flight responses takeover. And sometimes we feel like
we don't have control of ouremotions. This type of object
that you can carry around canreally give you the opportunity

(03:43):
to become more grounded in thepresent and to help you work
through that emotion. So here'swhat you can do with that stone
or rock or pebble or seashell,whatever that is, here's what
you can do with that object. Sowhen you're feeling a certain
feeling, frustration, anxiety,sadness, whatever that feeling
is in the moment, take out thatobject. Close your eyes, hold

(04:07):
the object and feel it with yourfingers, rub it with your
fingers, twirl it around withyour fingers, squeeze it, hold
on to it with your hands, openyour eyes and look at the
object. So bringing focus tothat physical sensation and that
physical object can help youbecome more aware of what you're

(04:28):
feeling and seeing.
Take a deep breath and state amantra or some sort of positive
statement or security statementssuch as I am okay. This too
shall pass. You can also say aprayer or Serenity Prayer. grant
me the serenity to accept thethings I cannot change the

(04:48):
courage to change the things Ican and the wisdom to know the
difference. So take a deepbreath and state a mantra that
can bring you back and reel yourmind back into the present
moment and after youfelt a feeling of calmness, you
can then put that object back inyour pocket or wherever it was
that was easily accessible foryou. So when you start feeling
anxious or you start feelingfrustrated, start having

(05:10):
different emotions in a specificmoment that may be challenging
for you pull out that object,take these steps, close your
eyes, hold the stone, feel it inyour hands, feel it in your
fingers, open your eyes,breathe, focus on the physical
sensation of the stone. Be awareof what you see and what you
feel. Take a deep breath, statea mantra, a positive statement,

(05:33):
a security statement, take somemore deep breaths, once you're
feeling calm, put that objectback into your pocket. So this
has really helped me a lot whenI feel anxious when I need to
become more grounded in themoment when I need to be aware
of what my emotions are and howI'm feeling in that present
moment. A lot of times I startruminating about the future or

(05:54):
something that's happened hastriggered a thought about
something that could happen 10years from now, it makes me kind
of fast forward. And when I'm inthat moment, when I'm really
reeling out of my negativethoughts, or when I'm focusing
too much about the future,having this physical object can
really help you become morepresent to reel you back into

(06:15):
the present moment versusgetting caught up in the future
or even in the past. So use thisas an object, just pick out a
stone, go in your front yard, gofor a walk, find a really nice
stone that you like, find arock, a pebble, whatever that is
a seashell at the beach,whatever that could be. And make
sure that that's accessible toyou so that you can reach for
this tool to help you becomemore grounded. Now there's

(06:37):
another way that you can use astone or another object. And
this is all about letting go. Soif you're having a hard time
letting go, here's another waythat you can use a stone or an
object. I learned this when Iwas in therapy many years ago.
And the idea here is that if youreally need to let go of
something that is in your mind,if you have something that's

(06:59):
physical, and you're lettingsomething go physically, that
can help you release it and letit go, which then in turns helps
you let it go mentally. So youcan do this with a stone, you
can do this with a pen andpaper. The idea here is to let
something go physically. So todo this with a stone or a rock,
you literally just pick up thestone or rock, you label this

(07:22):
stone, you can label itmentally, you can write on the
stone, whatever you need to doto let it go, but you name that
stone, whatever you need to letgo, you put that on the stone or
the object, when you have thatstone labeled, give it attention
for just a few minutes, give itthe space in your mind just for
a few minutes, then throw thestone away, throw it in the

(07:46):
ocean, throw it in a lake, throwit in the woods, throw it
somewhere where you are lettingit go, you're physically
releasing that stone and lettingit go. You can do the same thing
with pen and paper like Imentioned. So if you're having a
negative thought, if you need tolet something go, write it down
on a piece of paper, afteryou've written it down, give it

(08:08):
space in your mind for a fewminutes. Think about it really
work through what you reallyneed to let go and think about
it just for a few minutes, thenyou can crumble it up, you can
burn it safely, rip it into tinypieces, whatever you need to do
to physically let go of thatthought physically let go of

(08:31):
those emotions physically let goof whatever you need to let go
and get rid of it. releasing itphysically will help you release
it out of your mind. And giveyour mind that space to invite
more positive thoughts in yourbrain versus ruminating and
thinking about things that youneed to actually let go that are
not serving you anymore. Sothese physical acts can be very

(08:52):
cathartic, very healing, andcreate significant mind shifts,
letting go of the thoughts thatare taking up space in your
mind, those thoughts that arenegative, they're not serving
you, they're holding you back,letting those things go will
help make room for more positivethings to come in. And if you
can do this as a practice,whenever you have a negative

(09:15):
thought negative emotion, youhave limiting beliefs, you need
to let something go if you cando this act, it will become much
more natural for you it canbecome more generalized for you.
So these are two different waysthat you can use a stone or an
object. The first way is to holdon to it to help you become
grounded to think through whatyou're going through the

(09:37):
feelings that you're having anduse it as a way to become more
present. And the other way isactually releasing it. Throwing
the stone physically releasingwhatever you have to let go of
will help you release that inyour mind as well. So that's it
for this episode. If you relateto this, please follow this
podcast and Ihope that this has helped you.

(10:00):
Like I mentioned, I'm focusednot only on specific topics of
being a parent with specialneeds, but also helping you make
some mindset shifts, helping youhave a different perspective,
giving you tools and buildingyour toolbox for how you can
handle different emotions indifferent situations. So I hope
that this has helped you today.

(10:20):
If you'd like to talk DM me atSusan Fink out rise, or you can
also check out my new websiterise mindset.com to connect and
subscribe to my email list sothat you can stay connected and
learn more about when newepisodes are coming out and
other information for mindsetshifts. And the thing I want you
to remember is that you are notalone in this journey. There are
ways to be connected. There aresolutions and tools out there

(10:44):
that can help you on a dailybasis, and you can do it. So my
mission is to help as manypeople as I can and I cannot do
that without you. So thank you.
Thank you. Thank you so much forlistening. Thank you for your
support and sharing this podcastto help others. And until next
time, I appreciate I empathizeand I am here for you and we can
do this