April 16, 2025 • 29 mins
We've all heard the motivational mantras about constant hustle and perpetual growth. But what if that approach is actually undermining your progress? This episode challenges the conventional wisdom around personal growth by exploring a crucial question: "How do you know if someone needs encouragement? If they're breathing, the answer is yes."
The truth about sustainable personal development isn't what most grinding entrepreneurs want to hear - growth isn't a constant upward trajectory. It's a series of climbs followed by essential plateaus where you consolidate gains and prepare for the next ascent. Without these strategic pauses, you accumulate two dangerous byproducts: fatigue and self-doubt.
Drawing from athletic training principles, Reed and Jake demonstrate how peak performance happens when your capabilities are high but your fatigue is low. This balancing act is impossible when you're perpetually pushing without celebration or recognition of progress. For real estate professionals especially, where results often lag months behind activities, the ability to find encouragement in the journey proves essential.
We dive deep into both sides of the encouragement equation - how to give it effectively (specific, effort-focused, and habitual) and how to receive it gracefully (without deflection or dismissal). Perhaps most counterintuitively, we explore why high-achievers must learn to actually ask for encouragement when needed, rather than expecting others to intuitively know when support is required.
Whether you're leading a team, building a business, or simply working on personal growth, this episode provides practical guidance for creating sustainable development patterns that drive results without burnout. The courage to pause might be the missing ingredient in your growth journey.
Like, subscribe, and share this podcast with someone who needs encouragement and help with their business and life. Visit rmgagentpodcast.com for action guides and resources to impact, empower and encourage you.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
When we're talking about personal growth, it's not
all about pushing super hardevery single day, all the time,
because that comes with somenegative consequences.
You might see yourself assomebody that shouldn't need
encouragement.
If you're strong, you don'tneed encouragement.
I've more than a few timesfallen into that category, Turns
(00:24):
out it's actually not true.
I've more than a few timesfallen into that category, Turns
out it's actually not true.
Real estate professionals,welcome back to the RMG Agent
Podcast.
I'm your host, Reed Moore,along with my co-host, Jake
Bartlett.
We are here in season three,and season three is all about
personal growth.
We have some great stuff comingto you guys today and before we
do, we'd like for you to like,subscribe and share this with a
(00:46):
friend, especially somebody thatyou know just needs some
encouragement and help withtheir business and with their
life.
As always, go tormgagentpodcastcom for action
guides and to get all thegoodies, the webinars we've done
and everything to help impact,empower and encourage you.
And secondly, go to area procomforward slash RMG for the
product that we think every realestate agent should have to
(01:07):
really help them become themarket expert in their area.
All right, Jake, what do wehave going today?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
We have not only a great episode, but we have a
fantastic mustache that Reed isrocking right now.
So if you're listening to thepodcast, I also suggest checking
it out on youtube, just so youcan see the full power it's yes
that he is bringing to thisepisode it's bringing a lot to
the table.
Uh, yes, yeah okay, enough aboutthe mustache.
(01:35):
All right, we do have anawesome episode and we are doing
uh, along with our personalgrowth um series that we're
doing right now.
We did just film a masterseries with Josh Anderson, which
is awesome, so go back andcheck that episode out.
Yes, anything, you want to givea hint that he talked?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
about.
He is just a master of doingthe basics consistently over a
long period of time and justreally encouraging and amazing
to see what he's built over thelast 19 years.
So he's a he's a true master.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Nice, okay, so we have a fun episode today, maybe
a challenging episode for some.
Are you breathing?
You need encouragement.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
So this was actually kind of a riff off of a quote
from a guy named Truett Cathywho started Chick-fil-A and he
he, at one point in his career,asked this question how do you
know if somebody needsencouragement?
And then you know, everybodywaits.
And he said if they'rebreathing.
And it's one of these thingsthat, as we're talking about
personal growth, there is a lotof challenge that comes into
(02:37):
personal growth, right, Wheneverwe're growing we've talked
about this before we're pushingoutside of our comfort zone,
we're going into territory wherewe haven't gone before, and
we're doing that for the sake ofyou know, maybe performing at a
higher level, becoming whowe're created to be, being a
better husband, father, and thelist goes on and on and on.
But with personal growth comessome negative things that we
(02:57):
have to be paying attention to.
And if you are like me and youhave a default, your default or
your bias can really underminepersonal growth.
And my default or my bias isconstant challenge, Right, I
constantly I kind of live underthis.
You know internally this, thisdesire to constantly challenge
myself, Right, or at leastthat's what I tell me and tell
(03:19):
myself and I can come acrossthat way.
And the problem is is that whenwe're talking about personal
growth, it's not all aboutpushing super hard every single
day all the time, because thatcomes with some negative
consequences.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Our friendship group.
You pitched some ideas and thiswill give you an idea of
challenge, of hey, what if wedid six hours of a suffer fest
as a fun way of spending aSaturday?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yeah, it's like hey guys, let's go.
You know like do last manstanding, you know hike for 36
hours and you know, mixedresults from the people
listening Right.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
So, which has an awesome place.
I highly suggest finding peoplein your life that challenge you
and are constantly challengingthemselves, because you will
become better by being aroundpeople like that.
You will think bigger, you willexperience more and you'll
become a better person than youcurrently are.
You will experience more andyou'll become a better person
(04:26):
than you currently are, andwe're going to talk a little bit
about how symptoms and thingscause come up from that.
So one of the things that wetalked about is that that we're
we're taught that growth is likethis, this constant trajectory,
but that's not how you look atit right?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
No, it's really not.
So.
Growth really looks likeclimbing and then plateauing,
and climbing and plateauing.
There's a couple of reasons forthat.
One is that the constant,incessant climb of growth if
that's all you ever do it leavesyou never being able to
celebrate what you justaccomplished or what you just
did.
And so what really healthygrowth tends to look like is it
(05:06):
looks like this period of timewhere it's very hard and
sometimes very intense, and thatcan be even for a prolonged
period of time.
But once you've accomplishedsomething, or once you've grown,
or once you've lost a certainamount of weight, there's an
opportunity to stop and actuallyjust enjoy it, celebrate it and
use it, and that ends upfeeling like a plateau.
And actually just enjoy it,celebrate it and use it, and
(05:27):
that ends up feeling like aplateau.
And so if you're wired toconstantly be growing, growing,
growing, one of the things thatyou can do is you can lose the
ability or not recognize theability to stop in.
You know, some people would saysmell the roses right, stop and
celebrate, or even get the mostout of what you just went to.
If you're leading or you'rearound other people, then
they're growing and growing andgrowing, but they never actually
(05:49):
get to experience that, andthen their experience with you
is that it's nothing, butthere's always something bigger
and better.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
and wake up every day and don't pay attention to what
you've achieved, only payattention to what you haven't
yet done or who you haven't yetbecome, and and that that can be
a real downside to the constant, incessant, uh, personal growth
and it and it's actually uhkind of undermines personal
growth in some ways as theperson in that situation, it can
feel a little like a horse withblinders right, like you're
(06:21):
constantly forging forward andyou don't get the ability to see
all the work that's that's done, like the person that's, you
know, continuing to ask more andmore of you and you're not
seeing all the the ground thatyou gained.
Yes, and so what we're going totalk about here is some of the
byproducts of that, and thenwe're going to work through it.
(06:42):
So what are the byproducts ofthis or what?
What are you going to feel like?
Yeah, so, so one of thebyproducts of that, and then
we're going to work through it.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So what are the byproducts of this or what are
you going to feel like?
Yeah, so, so one of the.
So there, there's really twonegative, bright byproducts of
personal growth and again, it'snot a reason not to grow, but it
is a reason to to kind of payattention.
And the two byproducts ofgrowth are um, are going to be
(07:06):
fatigue, right, uh, over thecourse of time.
If you don't take time to stopand and look around and
celebrate and experience whatyou, what you've done when you
grow, then a lot of fatigue willset in, and fatigue actually
just sets in, just if you'regrowing period, right.
The second one that that sets in, and it's kind of your constant
companion when you're on theuphill trajectory of growth, is
self-doubt and all of thedifferent things around that.
Because if, if you are trulypushing into growth, you are
(07:30):
over the edge of your skis a lotof the time you are, which is
really fun sometimes if you'reskiing and you're like you're on
that edge, but it's not fun tobe there all the time, right,
right, and so so we build upfatigue and then we start
operating a place where whereself-doubt shows up and that's
OK because that's going to be apart of growth.
(07:50):
But self-doubt starts actuallykind of set up camp, because
there's never an opportunity totake a look around and be like,
oh man, I'm not the person Iused to be Right which sheds
that self-doubt and actuallybuilds confidence.
Sheds that self-doubt and itactually builds confidence.
And and in, if I, if I take aplateau time, I take a season to
where, like I, I stop growingin a certain area to be able to
let it settle, then all of asudden self-doubt becomes
(08:12):
replaced with confidence, andconfidence means that the next
personal growth uh climb thatI'm going to be on starts with
with confidence instead of uhstarts with self-doubt the way I
envisioned.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Envisioned this was I have kids.
I was very athletic growing up.
I spent a lot of time playingall sorts of different sports
and if you're a sports parent,you will understand watching
your kids enjoy something reallywell.
They love some sort of sportlike baseball, and you want them
to enjoy it more than you wantthem to get better.
And there's this constanttension of giving them critiques
(08:48):
, giving them things that willhelp them get better, and
helping them to think, thinkbigger and push harder, while
also giving them space to toyeah, absorb what they've, what
they've gone through right.
So if all they ever do is istrain and push hard and push
hard and they never get toexperience in gameplay what
(09:12):
they've just learned and howmuch better that they've gotten,
uh, it can be a very fatiguingprocess yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
So the two outcomes of of you know, maybe not not
taking these times to, to, torest and look around, right, uh,
is that, uh, you, you, youbuild up this fatigue or you
actually like in a kid's case orin an adult's case, it actually
may cause somebody to tap outon personal growth in a certain
area of their life.
It's like, forget it, right,this is this, is this, is just
(09:40):
this sucks.
I don't like living this way,right, and then they tell
themselves a story and thatstory can trickle into other
areas of their life where theyreally do need to continue to
grow.
But you can actually do a lotof damage and I've, I've
probably done that more than afew times, Right, and so kind of
go into this idea of fatigue.
When it comes to personal growth, a long time ago, I used to do
(10:00):
endurance stuff.
I used to do like triathlonsand Ironman and those kinds of
things, and one of the thingsthat would happen is my coach
would have me track all of mytraining in, uh, in an app
called training peaks and whattraining peaks.
It tracked all kinds ofdifferent things, but there are
two really importantmeasurements that it tracked all
the time, and that is ittracked, uh, your, um, uh, your
(10:24):
increase in performance, rightit it?
It tracked your, your increasein performance, right, it
tracked your, your athleticperformance or, you know, your,
your conditioning.
But it also tracks your fatigue, and I didn't really understand
that until I asked my coach,like what, what's the whole
point of tracking fatigue?
And what he told me was that asyou push and push into higher
and higher levels of personalperformance, you increase your
(10:47):
fatigue more and more.
And right before a race therewas like a three-week period of
time that you would follow avery, very strict protocol and
that protocol would taper youdown over time where you were
actually doing less and lessactivities all the way to the
day of the race.
And he said the reason fordoing that was when you're at
peak, peak performance, you'retypically at peak fatigue also,
(11:09):
and so if you go to do a raceunder your very peak performance
stats but you also peak yourfatigue, you don't perform well
because the fatigue counteractsthe performance.
So the idea was that the lastthree weeks before a race is,
you tried to get your fatigue aslow as possible while keeping
your performance or keeping yourendurance as high as possible,
(11:33):
and so the higher my, my, myendurance or my performance went
and the lower my fatigue went.
Wherever there was that big gap, that's where performance was
was at its highest and it workedreally, really well.
So if we look at this, weoverlay it into personal growth,
the challenge and, by the way,we're all geared differently
around this.
Like some people, uh, build upfatigue around personal growth
(11:55):
way faster than others, and thenin different seasons of life
right you're, you're reallypushing hard, you know, at uh,
at work, and then you know youcome home and your family
situation is extra hard.
Well, that builds fatigue too,and so that season might just
not be the season that somebodycan push the hardest.
But what I've seen over time isif I'm constantly, or
somebody's constantly, pushinginto personal growth, but
(12:17):
they're building up fatigue whenyou go to perform, your
performance will actually besubstandard and will feel like
you haven't really grown much.
But the reality is you've grown.
You just are carrying way toomuch fatigue.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Right, yeah, okay.
So let's parallel this a littlebit to what this actual moment
would look like as far as inyour real estate career.
So you've been pushing reallyhard for, you know, three, four,
five months to build up theskills to be able to make a lot
more contacts than you've donein the past.
(12:54):
You're building up clients,you're carrying more clients,
like, do you just shut that alldown?
What's this look like?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Good, good question.
So there's a handful ofdifferent things that are
important and we're going to doactually kind of a series on
this, because we're going totalk about rest, recovery,
retooling.
We're going to talk aboutanalyzing, recovering and
recalibrating.
So we're going to talk aboutsome of these different skills.
But one of the skills thatwe're going to talk about today
is giving and receivingencouragement, and it's just
(13:24):
this really interesting thing,kind of going all the way back
to that quote is when do you,when do you know that somebody
needs encouragement becausethey're breathing?
Well, you might see yourself assomebody like that shouldn't
need encouragement, like ifyou're strong, you don't need
encouragement.
I've I've more than a few timesfallen into that category.
Uh, turns out it's actually nottrue, right, but when, whenever
we're we're going along apersonal growth journey, we need
(13:48):
to have other people in ourlife be able to see what we
can't see.
Right, going back to this ideaof I have blinders on, if we're
genuinely growing and we'reworking hard, we're just living
this next sliver of theiteration of our life, living
this next like sliver of theiteration of our life, and
there's a good chance that wedon't even um, we don't even
(14:09):
realize that we've come so farand so we're not waking up
internally celebrating, and sowe need other people to be able
to encourage us Right, andthere's a few pieces to that.
Number one is we need to bearound people that are going to
encourage us.
One is we need to be aroundpeople that are going to
encourage us.
That's important.
Number two is that we need tobe able to learn how to
(14:30):
effectively receiveencouragement, and both of those
things have to be in place ifI'm going to be able to really
take that deep breath and stepback and be like, oh my gosh, I
really did grow, celebrate,enjoy that moment, take it in
Right.
Really did grow, celebrate,enjoy that moment, take it in
right.
Uh, get rid of some of theself-doubt and and bring some of
that, that, that courage andthat strength, back in right for
(14:52):
the, for the next journey.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
That's going to be important so for somebody like
me that's not great at receivingencouragement and for somebody
like me who's not always good atgiving encouragement here we go
, all right, so let's jump intosome of these things.
We make the perfect pair onthis specific topic.
So, okay, what are some of theways we should be giving
(15:14):
encouragement?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Okay.
So giving encouragement, thisis something I learned with my
wife quite a few years ago, andthat is that when we're giving
encouragement, it needs to bespecific and genuine.
The genuine one seems kind oflike a no brainer.
The specific one was the onethat I struggled with the most,
(15:35):
because what ends up happeningis that when you give somebody
encouragement, they need to beable to take it in Right, and
that's that's the communicatorand that's the person who's
receiving it.
And so, as the communicator, Iwant to be able to take it in
right, and that's thecommunicator and that's the
person who's receiving it.
And so, as the communicator, Iwant to be able to be specific,
so that way it's easier for themto trust my encouragement,
right?
So if somebody, if I'm justliving my life and maybe I'm a
(15:58):
little bit discouraged or I havesome self-doubt, I may be
avoidant of actually receivingencouragement.
And so if somebody just sayssomething like Thank you, right,
like you might be able toreceive that, but it's it's,
it's really generic.
And if I'm not in a super goodplace or I'm just grinding
through personal growth, I mightnot know if you're actually
(16:22):
genuine or if you even paidattention, right.
But if that same person saysgosh, jake, you did so well.
Yesterday I overheard you settwo appointments, and that
second one.
It sounded like you hadsomebody on the like holding a
tiger by the tail, but I noticedthat you closed like five or
six times to be able to get thatappointment.
And I also noticed it soundedlike they were really happy at
the end of that conversation,like great job, yeah.
(16:45):
All of a sudden it's like thisperson noticed me.
They saw me.
They saw me struggle throughmaybe what was a fear at the
time or something like that.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
And that's going to give them more access to the
encouragement, right?
Yeah, we've talked about thisin a few other episodes Like
it's the difference betweenbeing seen and being known,
right Like that, if somebody isactually listening and they and
they have specifics of thingsthat you did really well and
they point them out like youactually you feel and and known
in that moment, versus hey, goodjob, like that, that could be.
That same person could walkthrough the office and just tell
(17:23):
everybody good job, right.
Yes, and, and that might notactually hit everybody the same
way, yeah, so what's second here?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
okay.
The second is encouragingeffort, not just results.
So in business we're alwayspushing towards results and we
want to see results.
But as it turns out, inbusiness and in parenting, being
able to encourage the effort isreally, really important.
So there's been all kinds ofresearch and studies done with
kids that when they arespecifically praised or
(17:53):
encouraged for results, thatwhen they are specifically
praised or encouraged forresults, if they have a moment
where they don't get results,then they tend to fall apart,
they tend to give up, they tendto throw in the towel, and so
all of these studies are justthey're fascinating.
There's actually a book calledMindset by Carol Dweck that kind
of goes into some of thisresearch.
But kids growing up that arepraised for giving effort, for
(18:16):
trying, for working really hard,tend to have more grit.
They tend to be able to sustaingoing through hard things to be
able to actually get to results, because we do want results,
and so, especially whensomebody's like newer in the
career or they're relaunching orthey're just doing any of those
kind of things, what's going tohappen is results in our
(18:36):
industry are delayed, right,they're delayed three to six
months, and so if the only thingthat, as a leader, you have to
say encouraging as aroundresults, then you're going to,
you're going to send somebodyout into battle without any
encouragement for a prolongedperiod of time, right?
So two challenges with that.
Number one is you have somebodywho's not encouraged.
(18:58):
That's not good.
Number two is that we areactually taking some of the fuel
for doing the activities, whichis encouragement, and we're
removing that and expectingsomething to burn really bright
here in six months.
And so, as a leader, I have tobe really, really careful,
especially because my defaultisn't always encouragement.
(19:20):
I have seasons of life whereI'm just constantly very, very
and specifically encouraging andif I take my eye off that ball,
I just don't think about it, Idon't pay attention to it, and
that actually undermines thevery results that I want.
So what's third here?
Okay, the third is to makeencouragement a habit, not an
event.
Another area that I've I'vestruggled and and actually had
(19:41):
some good personal growth in uh,sometimes results vary, but
that's turning encouragementinto a habit, not an event,
right, and what I want to beable to do is if it's true that
everybody around me, and myselfincluded, needs encouragement
constantly, right, whether Ithink they do or whether I see
it on their face or not, thenencouragement needs to become
(20:04):
something that I do habitually.
It's something that I do in amorning meeting.
It's something that I do, youknow, every time I meet
one-on-one with somebody.
It's something that I justdecide, like every time.
I have these different piecesof uh of time right, so that's
going to be uh, like I said, ina morning meeting, in a
one-on-one, in a trainingsession, anytime.
(20:25):
Any of these things happen.
It's a part of this actually isencouragement.
A part of the actual dna of thestructure of what I'm doing has
to be encouragement.
If not, if I'm not somebodywho's prone to remembering to be
encouraging all the time, thenit's going to be up to my
emotions and what I'm feelingand that can leave people
unencouraged for a long periodof time.
(20:45):
If you build it into being ahabit, then there's going to be
more consistent encouragementover time.
And again, if I do care aboutresults and I do care about the
people, this is just a habit anda discipline to build in,
because you know, it's likehaving the habit of, you know,
taking your car to the gasstation every X number of miles.
Right, you just have to do it,yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
So the opposite of being unencouraged for a long
period of time is discouraged,right, which you never want
anybody in your life to bediscouraged around you.
So, yeah, uh, okay, now we'lltalk about what I'm really gonna
become great at, right how toreceive encouragement.
Yes, let it sink in instead ofdeflecting it all, right?
(21:28):
So, um, if you're like me, youdon't really like the spotlight
shown on you because you feellike you did your job and you
did it and like that was thepurpose of it.
Right, like you did it, it wasdone, and you can feel
(21:52):
discouraged over a period oftime.
So, when somebody does give youencouragement, how should I?
How should I take this?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah, so gosh, this is a big one Again.
Kind of going back to marriage,there was a period of time
where I was doing a really goodjob telling my wife that I loved
her.
I was being specific and I wasencouraging her, and on pretty
much a daily basis, the feedbackI was getting was that I don't
say these things enough or I'mnot doing this.
And it was hard, it wasfrustrating because at that time
(22:20):
I happened to be doing a reallygood job at it.
As we explored it, what Irealized is she literally wasn't
even hearing it, because therewas this disconnect between not
just there's two disconnects inour marriage at the time, and
that was I was not doing a goodjob up to that time giving it
and she was not doing a good jobreceiving it, and so, because
it's a relationship issue, uhthen, uh, with with any of us
(22:44):
there's there's these twoelements.
So, if I'm going to receiveencouragement, uh, there's a few
things I've learned to do overthe years.
One is um, is I I've?
If somebody is going to give melike encouragement, I actually
have something I physically dowith my body and I'll do this.
I'll look at somebody.
I'll be like thank you, right,the reason I did that is because
(23:04):
it felt vulnerable and it feltweird to receive encouragement
and not deflected for many years.
And somebody taught me that ifyou anchor it with some sort of
emotion, that helps you actuallykind of break that cycle, and I
don't even know if it's true,but but it's helpful.
It's not me, okay.
And so there's a moment thatwhen somebody encourages you,
kind of kind of going back tothe idea of the habit of
consistently encouraging,there's also this habit of not
(23:28):
deflecting, and that is whensomebody encourages me, like I
have this moment where I decideI feel vulnerable or inadequate
or actually just flat.
I don't feel like it's true.
Right In that moment I have adecision to make, and that is am
I going to?
Probably two things.
One is am I actually going totrust that person?
And for me, it's where thevulnerability showed up is if
(23:51):
somebody takes the time to lookyou in the eyes and say man, you
did this thing the other dayand that was really awesome, you
know, that was great.
If they take the time to do thatis my emotional reaction.
Be, you're a liar, I'm not goingto right, maybe to some people
right, but to the people who aresurrounding you, hopefully in
your life, it's actually amoment of realizing I get to
(24:13):
display my trust in this personwho has a perspective on my life
that I can't have, and that islike I'm grinding, I'm grinding,
I'm doing that, I'm growing,I'm growing, I'm growing and I
don't realize I'm on a plateauand somebody looks up and be
like hey, you got there Likeyou're there, you just did it
and you're just like I don'tknow.
(24:37):
I was just taking the next step,right, so I'm going to trust
that they're taking the time tostop and say this to me.
The second piece is is I'mgoing to stop and take a moment
to acknowledge it and to notdeflect it, right, and that's
you stop.
You acknowledge it by sayingthank you or wow, I appreciate
you saying that, anchor it, dosomething physically that just
says man, like I'm taking thatin, yeah, if you do that, you're
going to find yourself moreencouraged, not even because
(24:59):
people are more encouraging, butbecause you're actually
receiving more of it.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Okay, so this is the one that I am actively working
on is seeking encouragement whenneeded.
Yeah, so tell me about that.
So, instead of waiting formonths and months and months and
months of like hey, this islike really fricking hard and
I'm not seeing the winds, and inmy life of asking for, hey,
(25:25):
dude, could you, you know, canyou help me out and see the
winds and that I'm that I'mgaining right, like, yeah, let's
, can you help me out and seethe wins and that I'm that I'm
gaining right, like yeah, let's.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Can you encourage me in something that I'm doing?
Yeah, it's really interestingbecause, like, if you look in in
in real estate, we'reprofessional salespeople, or you
can even say we're professionalmarketers, and so there's a
significant amount of like,whether you're feeling crappy or
not, you roll up your sleeves,you're like, let's go, all right
, I got to do it, so to do it.
So we project.
It's not even a wrong thing,but we project this like it's
all good, let's go right.
But the reality is is that Imight need deeply encouraged, I
(25:58):
might need a whole lot of otherthings, but that may not be easy
to see.
And and the hard thing andagain like in marriage or in
relationships is if I expecteverybody in my life to be a
mind reader and I get supertweaked when they're not picking
up on my signals, man, that'sjust hard.
Yeah, right, it just really ishard.
Again, I've done that so manytimes in marriage.
(26:18):
Right, like this person is notpicking up what I'm putting down
Turns out nobody could haveright, right, because it's all
in my mind.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
So it really is a matter of being open enough to
just say, hey, like I needencouragement.
And again, if you surroundyourself with great people, that
ask should be very wellreceived.
Perfect, okay, and I'm reallyexcited about this last one here
.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Use encouragement to fuel growth.
Yes, using encouragement tofuel growth, right?
So if you've ever raced oryou've ever played a sport, you
have absolutely experienced thisRight.
Somehow people run faster, jumphigher, do more when there's a
group of fans screamingencouragement at them.
Right, like it's, it'sphenomenal Right.
(27:07):
Like if you ever been on thereceiving end of, like you're
giving it your all and all of asudden you run by the stands and
everybody blows up and somehowyou are now running faster than
your fastest.
Right, that's becauseencouragement fuels this, and
what it does is it recognizesall of the hard work from before
, right, and it sets you up withthis, this feeling of I can do
(27:31):
it, I just did it, people sawthat, I did it.
So I'm just not hallucinatingthat, or maybe I'm hallucinating
that you know, like it's, it'snot good, but but everybody else
is saying no, it actually isthat fuels for the next hill,
that fuels for the next climb,that fuels for this next
iteration of my personal growth.
And so if we are receivingencouragement and we're giving
(27:52):
encouragement, we're absolutelyboosting performance, we're
reducing fatigue and we'repushing into the trajectory of
whatever the next level ofpersonal growth is, with more
strength, more energy, moreresilience and more
encouragement.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
So we have a kind of tied on episode to this that you
alluded to earlier, yes, whichis analyze, recover and
recalibrate, where we're goingto kind of tie into some some
things that are going to helpyou in these moments, correct?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, we're going to do a few of these episodes
talking about like OK, so ifwe're going to drive into
personal growth and we're goingto spend a bunch of time there
this season, what are some thesethings that are kind of in?
You know, what are these pitstops or what are these plateaus
?
Look like that cause us to beable to set up for the greater
the, the best chance of successfor our next iteration of
personal growth.
I think, uh, here, kind ofearly on in the season, it's a
(28:44):
good thing to be able to uhskill people up with nice okay.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
So we always sign off with same three things, which
is impact and power and courage,but I'm gonna sign off today
with an encouragement to youthat you are doing a great job.
Listening to things like thispodcast and growing is an
awesome step in your personalgrowth and you are doing an
(29:09):
awesome job Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Right on, Take care guys.
When we're talking about personal growth, it's not
all about pushing super hardevery single day, all the time,
because that comes with somenegative consequences.
You might see yourself assomebody that shouldn't need
encouragement.
If you're strong, you don'tneed encouragement.
I've more than a few timesfallen into that category, Turns
(00:24):
out it's actually not true.
I've more than a few timesfallen into that category, Turns
out it's actually not true.
Real estate professionals,welcome back to the RMG Agent
Podcast.
I'm your host, Reed Moore,along with my co-host, Jake
Bartlett.
We are here in season three,and season three is all about
personal growth.
We have some great stuff comingto you guys today and before we
do, we'd like for you to like,subscribe and share this with a
(00:46):
friend, especially somebody thatyou know just needs some
encouragement and help withtheir business and with their
life.
As always, go tormgagentpodcastcom for action
guides and to get all thegoodies, the webinars we've done
and everything to help impact,empower and encourage you.
And secondly, go to area procomforward slash RMG for the
product that we think every realestate agent should have to
(01:07):
really help them become themarket expert in their area.
All right, Jake, what do wehave going today?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
We have not only a great episode, but we have a
fantastic mustache that Reed isrocking right now.
So if you're listening to thepodcast, I also suggest checking
it out on youtube, just so youcan see the full power it's yes
that he is bringing to thisepisode it's bringing a lot to
the table.
Uh, yes, yeah okay, enough aboutthe mustache.
(01:35):
All right, we do have anawesome episode and we are doing
uh, along with our personalgrowth um series that we're
doing right now.
We did just film a masterseries with Josh Anderson, which
is awesome, so go back andcheck that episode out.
Yes, anything, you want to givea hint that he talked?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
about.
He is just a master of doingthe basics consistently over a
long period of time and justreally encouraging and amazing
to see what he's built over thelast 19 years.
So he's a he's a true master.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Nice, okay, so we have a fun episode today, maybe
a challenging episode for some.
Are you breathing?
You need encouragement.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
So this was actually kind of a riff off of a quote
from a guy named Truett Cathywho started Chick-fil-A and he
he, at one point in his career,asked this question how do you
know if somebody needsencouragement?
And then you know, everybodywaits.
And he said if they'rebreathing.
And it's one of these thingsthat, as we're talking about
personal growth, there is a lotof challenge that comes into
(02:37):
personal growth, right, Wheneverwe're growing we've talked
about this before we're pushingoutside of our comfort zone,
we're going into territory wherewe haven't gone before, and
we're doing that for the sake ofyou know, maybe performing at a
higher level, becoming whowe're created to be, being a
better husband, father, and thelist goes on and on and on.
But with personal growth comessome negative things that we
(02:57):
have to be paying attention to.
And if you are like me and youhave a default, your default or
your bias can really underminepersonal growth.
And my default or my bias isconstant challenge, Right, I
constantly I kind of live underthis.
You know internally this, thisdesire to constantly challenge
myself, Right, or at leastthat's what I tell me and tell
(03:19):
myself and I can come acrossthat way.
And the problem is is that whenwe're talking about personal
growth, it's not all aboutpushing super hard every single
day all the time, because thatcomes with some negative
consequences.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Our friendship group.
You pitched some ideas and thiswill give you an idea of
challenge, of hey, what if wedid six hours of a suffer fest
as a fun way of spending aSaturday?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yeah, it's like hey guys, let's go.
You know like do last manstanding, you know hike for 36
hours and you know, mixedresults from the people
listening Right.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
So, which has an awesome place.
I highly suggest finding peoplein your life that challenge you
and are constantly challengingthemselves, because you will
become better by being aroundpeople like that.
You will think bigger, you willexperience more and you'll
become a better person than youcurrently are.
You will experience more andyou'll become a better person
(04:26):
than you currently are, andwe're going to talk a little bit
about how symptoms and thingscause come up from that.
So one of the things that wetalked about is that that we're
we're taught that growth is likethis, this constant trajectory,
but that's not how you look atit right?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
No, it's really not.
So.
Growth really looks likeclimbing and then plateauing,
and climbing and plateauing.
There's a couple of reasons forthat.
One is that the constant,incessant climb of growth if
that's all you ever do it leavesyou never being able to
celebrate what you justaccomplished or what you just
did.
And so what really healthygrowth tends to look like is it
(05:06):
looks like this period of timewhere it's very hard and
sometimes very intense, and thatcan be even for a prolonged
period of time.
But once you've accomplishedsomething, or once you've grown,
or once you've lost a certainamount of weight, there's an
opportunity to stop and actuallyjust enjoy it, celebrate it and
use it, and that ends upfeeling like a plateau.
And actually just enjoy it,celebrate it and use it, and
(05:27):
that ends up feeling like aplateau.
And so if you're wired toconstantly be growing, growing,
growing, one of the things thatyou can do is you can lose the
ability or not recognize theability to stop in.
You know, some people would saysmell the roses right, stop and
celebrate, or even get the mostout of what you just went to.
If you're leading or you'rearound other people, then
they're growing and growing andgrowing, but they never actually
(05:49):
get to experience that, andthen their experience with you
is that it's nothing, butthere's always something bigger
and better.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
and wake up every day and don't pay attention to what
you've achieved, only payattention to what you haven't
yet done or who you haven't yetbecome, and and that that can be
a real downside to the constant, incessant, uh, personal growth
and it and it's actually uhkind of undermines personal
growth in some ways as theperson in that situation, it can
feel a little like a horse withblinders right, like you're
(06:21):
constantly forging forward andyou don't get the ability to see
all the work that's that's done, like the person that's, you
know, continuing to ask more andmore of you and you're not
seeing all the the ground thatyou gained.
Yes, and so what we're going totalk about here is some of the
byproducts of that, and thenwe're going to work through it.
(06:42):
So what are the byproducts ofthis or what?
What are you going to feel like?
Yeah, so, so one of thebyproducts of that, and then
we're going to work through it.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So what are the byproducts of this or what are
you going to feel like?
Yeah, so, so one of the.
So there, there's really twonegative, bright byproducts of
personal growth and again, it'snot a reason not to grow, but it
is a reason to to kind of payattention.
And the two byproducts ofgrowth are um, are going to be
(07:06):
fatigue, right, uh, over thecourse of time.
If you don't take time to stopand and look around and
celebrate and experience whatyou, what you've done when you
grow, then a lot of fatigue willset in, and fatigue actually
just sets in, just if you'regrowing period, right.
The second one that that sets in, and it's kind of your constant
companion when you're on theuphill trajectory of growth, is
self-doubt and all of thedifferent things around that.
Because if, if you are trulypushing into growth, you are
(07:30):
over the edge of your skis a lotof the time you are, which is
really fun sometimes if you'reskiing and you're like you're on
that edge, but it's not fun tobe there all the time, right,
right, and so so we build upfatigue and then we start
operating a place where whereself-doubt shows up and that's
OK because that's going to be apart of growth.
(07:50):
But self-doubt starts actuallykind of set up camp, because
there's never an opportunity totake a look around and be like,
oh man, I'm not the person Iused to be Right which sheds
that self-doubt and actuallybuilds confidence.
Sheds that self-doubt and itactually builds confidence.
And and in, if I, if I take aplateau time, I take a season to
where, like I, I stop growingin a certain area to be able to
let it settle, then all of asudden self-doubt becomes
(08:12):
replaced with confidence, andconfidence means that the next
personal growth uh climb thatI'm going to be on starts with
with confidence instead of uhstarts with self-doubt the way I
envisioned.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Envisioned this was I have kids.
I was very athletic growing up.
I spent a lot of time playingall sorts of different sports
and if you're a sports parent,you will understand watching
your kids enjoy something reallywell.
They love some sort of sportlike baseball, and you want them
to enjoy it more than you wantthem to get better.
And there's this constanttension of giving them critiques
(08:48):
, giving them things that willhelp them get better, and
helping them to think, thinkbigger and push harder, while
also giving them space to toyeah, absorb what they've, what
they've gone through right.
So if all they ever do is istrain and push hard and push
hard and they never get toexperience in gameplay what
(09:12):
they've just learned and howmuch better that they've gotten,
uh, it can be a very fatiguingprocess yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
So the two outcomes of of you know, maybe not not
taking these times to, to, torest and look around, right, uh,
is that, uh, you, you, youbuild up this fatigue or you
actually like in a kid's case orin an adult's case, it actually
may cause somebody to tap outon personal growth in a certain
area of their life.
It's like, forget it, right,this is this, is this, is just
(09:40):
this sucks.
I don't like living this way,right, and then they tell
themselves a story and thatstory can trickle into other
areas of their life where theyreally do need to continue to
grow.
But you can actually do a lotof damage and I've, I've
probably done that more than afew times, Right, and so kind of
go into this idea of fatigue.
When it comes to personal growth, a long time ago, I used to do
(10:00):
endurance stuff.
I used to do like triathlonsand Ironman and those kinds of
things, and one of the thingsthat would happen is my coach
would have me track all of mytraining in, uh, in an app
called training peaks and whattraining peaks.
It tracked all kinds ofdifferent things, but there are
two really importantmeasurements that it tracked all
the time, and that is ittracked, uh, your, um, uh, your
(10:24):
increase in performance, rightit it?
It tracked your, your increasein performance, right, it
tracked your, your athleticperformance or, you know, your,
your conditioning.
But it also tracks your fatigue, and I didn't really understand
that until I asked my coach,like what, what's the whole
point of tracking fatigue?
And what he told me was that asyou push and push into higher
and higher levels of personalperformance, you increase your
(10:47):
fatigue more and more.
And right before a race therewas like a three-week period of
time that you would follow avery, very strict protocol and
that protocol would taper youdown over time where you were
actually doing less and lessactivities all the way to the
day of the race.
And he said the reason fordoing that was when you're at
peak, peak performance, you'retypically at peak fatigue also,
(11:09):
and so if you go to do a raceunder your very peak performance
stats but you also peak yourfatigue, you don't perform well
because the fatigue counteractsthe performance.
So the idea was that the lastthree weeks before a race is,
you tried to get your fatigue aslow as possible while keeping
your performance or keeping yourendurance as high as possible,
(11:33):
and so the higher my, my, myendurance or my performance went
and the lower my fatigue went.
Wherever there was that big gap, that's where performance was
was at its highest and it workedreally, really well.
So if we look at this, weoverlay it into personal growth,
the challenge and, by the way,we're all geared differently
around this.
Like some people, uh, build upfatigue around personal growth
(11:55):
way faster than others, and thenin different seasons of life
right you're, you're reallypushing hard, you know, at uh,
at work, and then you know youcome home and your family
situation is extra hard.
Well, that builds fatigue too,and so that season might just
not be the season that somebodycan push the hardest.
But what I've seen over time isif I'm constantly, or
somebody's constantly, pushinginto personal growth, but
(12:17):
they're building up fatigue whenyou go to perform, your
performance will actually besubstandard and will feel like
you haven't really grown much.
But the reality is you've grown.
You just are carrying way toomuch fatigue.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Right, yeah, okay.
So let's parallel this a littlebit to what this actual moment
would look like as far as inyour real estate career.
So you've been pushing reallyhard for, you know, three, four,
five months to build up theskills to be able to make a lot
more contacts than you've donein the past.
(12:54):
You're building up clients,you're carrying more clients,
like, do you just shut that alldown?
What's this look like?
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Good, good question.
So there's a handful ofdifferent things that are
important and we're going to doactually kind of a series on
this, because we're going totalk about rest, recovery,
retooling.
We're going to talk aboutanalyzing, recovering and
recalibrating.
So we're going to talk aboutsome of these different skills.
But one of the skills thatwe're going to talk about today
is giving and receivingencouragement, and it's just
(13:24):
this really interesting thing,kind of going all the way back
to that quote is when do you,when do you know that somebody
needs encouragement becausethey're breathing?
Well, you might see yourself assomebody like that shouldn't
need encouragement, like ifyou're strong, you don't need
encouragement.
I've I've more than a few timesfallen into that category.
Uh, turns out it's actually nottrue, right, but when, whenever
we're we're going along apersonal growth journey, we need
(13:48):
to have other people in ourlife be able to see what we
can't see.
Right, going back to this ideaof I have blinders on, if we're
genuinely growing and we'reworking hard, we're just living
this next sliver of theiteration of our life, living
this next like sliver of theiteration of our life, and
there's a good chance that wedon't even um, we don't even
(14:09):
realize that we've come so farand so we're not waking up
internally celebrating, and sowe need other people to be able
to encourage us Right, andthere's a few pieces to that.
Number one is we need to bearound people that are going to
encourage us.
One is we need to be aroundpeople that are going to
encourage us.
That's important.
Number two is that we need tobe able to learn how to
(14:30):
effectively receiveencouragement, and both of those
things have to be in place ifI'm going to be able to really
take that deep breath and stepback and be like, oh my gosh, I
really did grow, celebrate,enjoy that moment, take it in
Right.
Really did grow, celebrate,enjoy that moment, take it in
right.
Uh, get rid of some of theself-doubt and and bring some of
that, that, that courage andthat strength, back in right for
(14:52):
the, for the next journey.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
That's going to be important so for somebody like
me that's not great at receivingencouragement and for somebody
like me who's not always good atgiving encouragement here we go
, all right, so let's jump intosome of these things.
We make the perfect pair onthis specific topic.
So, okay, what are some of theways we should be giving
(15:14):
encouragement?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Okay.
So giving encouragement, thisis something I learned with my
wife quite a few years ago, andthat is that when we're giving
encouragement, it needs to bespecific and genuine.
The genuine one seems kind oflike a no brainer.
The specific one was the onethat I struggled with the most,
(15:35):
because what ends up happeningis that when you give somebody
encouragement, they need to beable to take it in Right, and
that's that's the communicatorand that's the person who's
receiving it.
And so, as the communicator, Iwant to be able to take it in
right, and that's thecommunicator and that's the
person who's receiving it.
And so, as the communicator, Iwant to be able to be specific,
so that way it's easier for themto trust my encouragement,
right?
So if somebody, if I'm justliving my life and maybe I'm a
(15:58):
little bit discouraged or I havesome self-doubt, I may be
avoidant of actually receivingencouragement.
And so if somebody just sayssomething like Thank you, right,
like you might be able toreceive that, but it's it's,
it's really generic.
And if I'm not in a super goodplace or I'm just grinding
through personal growth, I mightnot know if you're actually
(16:22):
genuine or if you even paidattention, right.
But if that same person saysgosh, jake, you did so well.
Yesterday I overheard you settwo appointments, and that
second one.
It sounded like you hadsomebody on the like holding a
tiger by the tail, but I noticedthat you closed like five or
six times to be able to get thatappointment.
And I also noticed it soundedlike they were really happy at
the end of that conversation,like great job, yeah.
(16:45):
All of a sudden it's like thisperson noticed me.
They saw me.
They saw me struggle throughmaybe what was a fear at the
time or something like that.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
And that's going to give them more access to the
encouragement, right?
Yeah, we've talked about thisin a few other episodes Like
it's the difference betweenbeing seen and being known,
right Like that, if somebody isactually listening and they and
they have specifics of thingsthat you did really well and
they point them out like youactually you feel and and known
in that moment, versus hey, goodjob, like that, that could be.
That same person could walkthrough the office and just tell
(17:23):
everybody good job, right.
Yes, and, and that might notactually hit everybody the same
way, yeah, so what's second here?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
okay.
The second is encouragingeffort, not just results.
So in business we're alwayspushing towards results and we
want to see results.
But as it turns out, inbusiness and in parenting, being
able to encourage the effort isreally, really important.
So there's been all kinds ofresearch and studies done with
kids that when they arespecifically praised or
(17:53):
encouraged for results, thatwhen they are specifically
praised or encouraged forresults, if they have a moment
where they don't get results,then they tend to fall apart,
they tend to give up, they tendto throw in the towel, and so
all of these studies are justthey're fascinating.
There's actually a book calledMindset by Carol Dweck that kind
of goes into some of thisresearch.
But kids growing up that arepraised for giving effort, for
(18:16):
trying, for working really hard,tend to have more grit.
They tend to be able to sustaingoing through hard things to be
able to actually get to results, because we do want results,
and so, especially whensomebody's like newer in the
career or they're relaunching orthey're just doing any of those
kind of things, what's going tohappen is results in our
(18:36):
industry are delayed, right,they're delayed three to six
months, and so if the only thingthat, as a leader, you have to
say encouraging as aroundresults, then you're going to,
you're going to send somebodyout into battle without any
encouragement for a prolongedperiod of time, right?
So two challenges with that.
Number one is you have somebodywho's not encouraged.
(18:58):
That's not good.
Number two is that we areactually taking some of the fuel
for doing the activities, whichis encouragement, and we're
removing that and expectingsomething to burn really bright
here in six months.
And so, as a leader, I have tobe really, really careful,
especially because my defaultisn't always encouragement.
(19:20):
I have seasons of life whereI'm just constantly very, very
and specifically encouraging andif I take my eye off that ball,
I just don't think about it, Idon't pay attention to it, and
that actually undermines thevery results that I want.
So what's third here?
Okay, the third is to makeencouragement a habit, not an
event.
Another area that I've I'vestruggled and and actually had
(19:41):
some good personal growth in uh,sometimes results vary, but
that's turning encouragementinto a habit, not an event,
right, and what I want to beable to do is if it's true that
everybody around me, and myselfincluded, needs encouragement
constantly, right, whether Ithink they do or whether I see
it on their face or not, thenencouragement needs to become
(20:04):
something that I do habitually.
It's something that I do in amorning meeting.
It's something that I do, youknow, every time I meet
one-on-one with somebody.
It's something that I justdecide, like every time.
I have these different piecesof uh of time right, so that's
going to be uh, like I said, ina morning meeting, in a
one-on-one, in a trainingsession, anytime.
(20:25):
Any of these things happen.
It's a part of this actually isencouragement.
A part of the actual dna of thestructure of what I'm doing has
to be encouragement.
If not, if I'm not somebodywho's prone to remembering to be
encouraging all the time, thenit's going to be up to my
emotions and what I'm feelingand that can leave people
unencouraged for a long periodof time.
(20:45):
If you build it into being ahabit, then there's going to be
more consistent encouragementover time.
And again, if I do care aboutresults and I do care about the
people, this is just a habit anda discipline to build in,
because you know, it's likehaving the habit of, you know,
taking your car to the gasstation every X number of miles.
Right, you just have to do it,yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
So the opposite of being unencouraged for a long
period of time is discouraged,right, which you never want
anybody in your life to bediscouraged around you.
So, yeah, uh, okay, now we'lltalk about what I'm really gonna
become great at, right how toreceive encouragement.
Yes, let it sink in instead ofdeflecting it all, right?
(21:28):
So, um, if you're like me, youdon't really like the spotlight
shown on you because you feellike you did your job and you
did it and like that was thepurpose of it.
Right, like you did it, it wasdone, and you can feel
(21:52):
discouraged over a period oftime.
So, when somebody does give youencouragement, how should I?
How should I take this?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah, so gosh, this is a big one Again.
Kind of going back to marriage,there was a period of time
where I was doing a really goodjob telling my wife that I loved
her.
I was being specific and I wasencouraging her, and on pretty
much a daily basis, the feedbackI was getting was that I don't
say these things enough or I'mnot doing this.
And it was hard, it wasfrustrating because at that time
(22:20):
I happened to be doing a reallygood job at it.
As we explored it, what Irealized is she literally wasn't
even hearing it, because therewas this disconnect between not
just there's two disconnects inour marriage at the time, and
that was I was not doing a goodjob up to that time giving it
and she was not doing a good jobreceiving it, and so, because
it's a relationship issue, uhthen, uh, with with any of us
(22:44):
there's there's these twoelements.
So, if I'm going to receiveencouragement, uh, there's a few
things I've learned to do overthe years.
One is um, is I I've?
If somebody is going to give melike encouragement, I actually
have something I physically dowith my body and I'll do this.
I'll look at somebody.
I'll be like thank you, right,the reason I did that is because
(23:04):
it felt vulnerable and it feltweird to receive encouragement
and not deflected for many years.
And somebody taught me that ifyou anchor it with some sort of
emotion, that helps you actuallykind of break that cycle, and I
don't even know if it's true,but but it's helpful.
It's not me, okay.
And so there's a moment thatwhen somebody encourages you,
kind of kind of going back tothe idea of the habit of
consistently encouraging,there's also this habit of not
(23:28):
deflecting, and that is whensomebody encourages me, like I
have this moment where I decideI feel vulnerable or inadequate
or actually just flat.
I don't feel like it's true.
Right In that moment I have adecision to make, and that is am
I going to?
Probably two things.
One is am I actually going totrust that person?
And for me, it's where thevulnerability showed up is if
(23:51):
somebody takes the time to lookyou in the eyes and say man, you
did this thing the other dayand that was really awesome, you
know, that was great.
If they take the time to do thatis my emotional reaction.
Be, you're a liar, I'm not goingto right, maybe to some people
right, but to the people who aresurrounding you, hopefully in
your life, it's actually amoment of realizing I get to
(24:13):
display my trust in this personwho has a perspective on my life
that I can't have, and that islike I'm grinding, I'm grinding,
I'm doing that, I'm growing,I'm growing, I'm growing and I
don't realize I'm on a plateauand somebody looks up and be
like hey, you got there Likeyou're there, you just did it
and you're just like I don'tknow.
(24:37):
I was just taking the next step,right, so I'm going to trust
that they're taking the time tostop and say this to me.
The second piece is is I'mgoing to stop and take a moment
to acknowledge it and to notdeflect it, right, and that's
you stop.
You acknowledge it by sayingthank you or wow, I appreciate
you saying that, anchor it, dosomething physically that just
says man, like I'm taking thatin, yeah, if you do that, you're
going to find yourself moreencouraged, not even because
(24:59):
people are more encouraging, butbecause you're actually
receiving more of it.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Okay, so this is the one that I am actively working
on is seeking encouragement whenneeded.
Yeah, so tell me about that.
So, instead of waiting formonths and months and months and
months of like hey, this islike really fricking hard and
I'm not seeing the winds, and inmy life of asking for, hey,
(25:25):
dude, could you, you know, canyou help me out and see the
winds and that I'm that I'mgaining right, like, yeah, let's
, can you help me out and seethe wins and that I'm that I'm
gaining right, like yeah, let's.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Can you encourage me in something that I'm doing?
Yeah, it's really interestingbecause, like, if you look in in
in real estate, we'reprofessional salespeople, or you
can even say we're professionalmarketers, and so there's a
significant amount of like,whether you're feeling crappy or
not, you roll up your sleeves,you're like, let's go, all right
, I got to do it, so to do it.
So we project.
It's not even a wrong thing,but we project this like it's
all good, let's go right.
But the reality is is that Imight need deeply encouraged, I
(25:58):
might need a whole lot of otherthings, but that may not be easy
to see.
And and the hard thing andagain like in marriage or in
relationships is if I expecteverybody in my life to be a
mind reader and I get supertweaked when they're not picking
up on my signals, man, that'sjust hard.
Yeah, right, it just really ishard.
Again, I've done that so manytimes in marriage.
(26:18):
Right, like this person is notpicking up what I'm putting down
Turns out nobody could haveright, right, because it's all
in my mind.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
So it really is a matter of being open enough to
just say, hey, like I needencouragement.
And again, if you surroundyourself with great people, that
ask should be very wellreceived.
Perfect, okay, and I'm reallyexcited about this last one here
.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Use encouragement to fuel growth.
Yes, using encouragement tofuel growth, right?
So if you've ever raced oryou've ever played a sport, you
have absolutely experienced thisRight.
Somehow people run faster, jumphigher, do more when there's a
group of fans screamingencouragement at them.
Right, like it's, it'sphenomenal Right.
(27:07):
Like if you ever been on thereceiving end of, like you're
giving it your all and all of asudden you run by the stands and
everybody blows up and somehowyou are now running faster than
your fastest.
Right, that's becauseencouragement fuels this, and
what it does is it recognizesall of the hard work from before
, right, and it sets you up withthis, this feeling of I can do
(27:31):
it, I just did it, people sawthat, I did it.
So I'm just not hallucinatingthat, or maybe I'm hallucinating
that you know, like it's, it'snot good, but but everybody else
is saying no, it actually isthat fuels for the next hill,
that fuels for the next climb,that fuels for this next
iteration of my personal growth.
And so if we are receivingencouragement and we're giving
(27:52):
encouragement, we're absolutelyboosting performance, we're
reducing fatigue and we'repushing into the trajectory of
whatever the next level ofpersonal growth is, with more
strength, more energy, moreresilience and more
encouragement.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
So we have a kind of tied on episode to this that you
alluded to earlier, yes, whichis analyze, recover and
recalibrate, where we're goingto kind of tie into some some
things that are going to helpyou in these moments, correct?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah, we're going to do a few of these episodes
talking about like OK, so ifwe're going to drive into
personal growth and we're goingto spend a bunch of time there
this season, what are some thesethings that are kind of in?
You know, what are these pitstops or what are these plateaus
?
Look like that cause us to beable to set up for the greater
the, the best chance of successfor our next iteration of
personal growth.
I think, uh, here, kind ofearly on in the season, it's a
(28:44):
good thing to be able to uhskill people up with nice okay.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
So we always sign off with same three things, which
is impact and power and courage,but I'm gonna sign off today
with an encouragement to youthat you are doing a great job.
Listening to things like thispodcast and growing is an
awesome step in your personalgrowth and you are doing an
(29:09):
awesome job Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Right on, Take care guys.
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