CRSD Parents: When They Say "Proposed Budget," They Mean Your Money Is Already Gone

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Budget Theater: The Musical opened last night at the Chancellor Center, starring a visibly uncomfortable business manager, a mysteriously silent superintendent, and a cast of board members determined to convince you that a 2.93% tax increase is both inevitable and in your best interest.

The evening's performance began with an elaborate dance around the $6.7 million deficit, featuring rhetoric about how deficits traditionally transform into surpluses through some unexplained fiscal alchemy. When pressed for concrete numbers, the business manager delivered what can only be described as a masterclass in evasion—sweating through explanations of projected surpluses and credit ratings without ever directly acknowledging the financial hole the district has dug for itself.

Adding to the absurdity, the district plans to hire 35 new staff positions despite the massive deficit. The hiring process itself raised eyebrows, with potential employees apparently expected to remain in limbo through summer until September when positions may or may not materialize. Meanwhile, current teachers see minimal raises as resources are stretched thin. Perhaps most concerning is what remained unmentioned—this budget doesn't include any of the construction or capital work that will "bleed this district dry in two years." The 2.93% increase represents merely the opening act of a multi-year financial burden being placed on taxpayers.

The June 13th vote now looms as a critical moment for community members. Will you sit quietly as your wallet is set ablaze, or will you demand genuine fiscal responsibility from those entrusted with both your children's education and your tax dollars? Remember: when they repeatedly emphasize that this is just a "proposed" budget, they're not offering transparency—they're attempting to gaslight you into compliance. Your voice and your presence matter more than ever at the next meeting.

#BudgetTheaterTheMusical

#2Point93PercentOfBS

#DeficitTapDance

#ChancellorCenterCircus

#FiscalGaslight

#TaxpayerTrapdoor

#ProjectedSurplusMyAss

#HireNowPayNever

#RaiseTaxesRaiseEyebrows

#SuperintendentSilentShow

#BoardOfMagicalThinking

#FinancialFictionLive

#CreditRatingCurtains

#BudgetBlackHole

#DebtWithoutDialogue

#TeachersGetCrumbs

#KidsGetCuts

#CommunityCashGrab

#UnproposedUnaccountable

#June13SpeakUpOrPayUp

#PublicSchoolPonzi

#YourWalletYourVoice

#TaxpayersDeserveTruth

#CouncilRockBottom

Peace, Love & God Above! :-)

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right.
So last night was the boardmeeting where they were supposed
to vote on the budget, and Iguess they're not going to vote
until June.
But they had to tell you guysover and over again that it'll
be in the paper, it'll be on thewebsite.
Made sure you guys understoodthat there will be transparency.
But let's go back to theproposed budget, aka real

(00:20):
bullshit.
It's not a deficit, it's atradition.
Oh God, counselor Rock presentsBudget Theater, the musical
starring the character ofcharacters, mr Rap as the tap
dancing business manager, andy.
Forget Andy today.
And Al's head probably blew upin the background.

(00:40):
The binocular probably couldn'ttake it.
Boom, it just went off.
The guy who shows everythingand nothing.
So grab your popcorn and yourtax statements.
It's time to take a wait.
Wait.
It went from 2.99 to 2.93because if you add the 6% or the
0.06, now we're at 2.99.

(01:12):
Hike up, bullshit mountain.
All right, let's get one thingclear If I had a nickel for
every time they said proposedbudget, I could cover the $6.7
million deficit myself withenough left over to buy Andy a
functioning spine.
Oh, they called this aprocedural vote, like it's just
some harmless bureaucraticcircle, jerk Nah.
And you know what's funny too,I realized that as I'm looking
at half these people sittingthere, nobody's wearing a
wedding ring.
So what does that tell you?
Empty hand, empty hand, emptyhand, empty hand, empty hand.

(01:32):
They go home to themselves andthey still can't get it right.
Oh, my goodness, gracious, ohgod, netflix.
What this is is they're lubingup your tax bill and telling you
to just relax, don't worry,it's only a proposed insertion.
All right back to Mr Rap.
Oh my God, he looked petrified.

(01:53):
Who went full Cirque du Soleil?
Avoiding direct answers?
The man gave a two-minutemonologue on the projected
surpluses and credit ratingswithout ever saying yeah, we're
fucked, bro.
If he danced any harder aroundthat question, I'd expect the
Rockets to join him on stage.
Dude, he was sweating so bad.
It was almost like oh, there's amovie that I want to talk about

(02:13):
.
It was probably Ghostbusters orsomething like that, or like
the dude's head was going toexplode.
No, you know what?
It was Garth in Wayne's World,where they were like zoomed in
on him when they went from likethe Wayne's World to like the
produced Wayne's World and yousee Garth sitting there when
Wayne like left him and it'sjust like this like camera just
zooming in and he was like Imean, if you're not old enough

(02:35):
to know Wayne's world, then youprobably shouldn't have a child
anyway.
So let's talk math, okay.
So a 2.93 tax increase for a6.9 million dollar deficit?
That's like being sold to useNissan Sentra, low mileage, only
driven during budget season.
They kept I can't, it's, this is.
This is hard not to laugh atthis one because they were so
specific on what they weretrying to say.
But then they kept asking eachother questions on top of the

(02:56):
pre-rehearsed you know lingo orverbiage they were supposed to
use.
And then Mr Rap was just, hewas done, it was, it was over.
It's just that that pink shirtcould have turned blue.
It was so funny.
So they kept saying hey, weusually run a deficit but we end
up with a surplus.
So we're usually in the holebut we usually wind up on top.
Okay, you know, those are otheryears, not years when the

(03:18):
federal government's giving overto the state and the state has
to get money from here, andthere's Donald Trump doing this,
and then that's happening overhere and the job market's going
like this.
And if you look at whathappened with the kindergarten,
they had that day where nicolecrawford whatever her last name
is now had the.
You know all those people showup for kindergarten.
Um, I don't think that wasgonna fill 13 teachers worth of

(03:40):
kids.
I mean there was a lot of kidsthere, but it didn't look like a
full blown out triple birthdayparty.
You know, at the jump factoryit looked like maybe eight to
ten lanes in a bowling alley.
So you know, I don't know aboutall that.
I guess the strategy isbudgeting like a drunk college
student.
You know you hope mom and dadrefill the bank account before
the overdraft fees hit and shoutout to the financial software
they switched to, becausenothing says fiscal

(04:00):
responsibility, like apowerpoint made in minecraft and
a live item called we'll figureit out later.
By the way, plants and zombiesis back.
You can go check that out ongoogle play.
Oh and andy, nowhere.
He barely said a fucking word.
He didn't speak, he didn'tbreathe.
I mean he breathed.
But you know his hair, I meanhis gorgeous dome, I mean he's

(04:21):
tanning, it's, you know, looksgreat.
Um, his skin too, like not asingle blackhead anywhere.
You know he might have beenstuffed and mounted in the back
of the chancellor center like adiorama failed leadership, but
you know I give him credit.
You know when you give himcredit, you know when you have
nothing to say or you want tohide, you kind of fade into the
bushes like Homer Simpson.
Meanwhile, rap is busy blamingfixed costs, state mandates and

(04:43):
the mysterious forces of theuniverse for why we're 6.1
million underwater.
Bro, you've been the businessmanager for how many years now?
Are you still surprised by themath?
This is like the pilot of theHindenburg being shocked at the
thing caught fire Like duh.
Okay, but wait, they're addingstaff 35 people total, not 10,
not 20, but 35.

(05:03):
You'd think we were opening anew school, not just padding the
resume of whoever's running ER.
But wait, speaking of the ERperson, and I want you to really
think about this if you'regoing to be auditioning for a
job, it's an anticipated job, soyou might go in there and go
for an interview and say we mayhire you, we may not, depending,
but I need you to sit aroundfor an entire summer because

(05:26):
we're going to come back to youin September and give you a
possibly.
So you're telling people thatthey don't have answers until
you.
So it's basically like RowdyPiper back in the 80s, like just
when you think you have theanswers, we change the questions
.
If you know that reference,you're amazing and you were
definitely a Hulkamaniac, likeme.
But you look at it from theperspective of we're going to

(05:48):
interview you, we're going tomaybe give you a job, so the
carrot's gonna be there and youmay or may not get the carrot,
but you got to wait around.
So let's say, I go and I getanother job with somebody else
and that person starts askingabout your, your life and about
your expectations.
Oh, but you know what?
I'm coming here but I may leavebecause the school district may
give me another job.
So you basically you're askingpeople to lie to other employers

(06:10):
or to wait around, that you mayor may not pay them.
That sounds wonderful.
Why don't you just as soon asyou know you need somebody?
Then you put the ad out thereand say we're going to hire,
we're going to talk to you andwe might need you, but do
nothing.
Because if you don't get paid?
So what if they don't get paid?
What if you don't need them?
Do they get no money?
Do they just get put on a backburner?
Do they have to reinvest?

(06:31):
Oh, I don't know.
Going to figure that one outlater.
There's no answer for that one.
Next meeting I would love ananswer for that one.
You won't give it, thoughyou'll jump around the question.
Imagine ordering 35 pizzasbefore knowing if anyone's
coming to the party.
But hey, we're counselor rock.
Fiscal recklessness is part ofthe curriculum.
Let's get the pizzas first andthen figure out how we're gonna
you know, pay for them later,and then we're gonna do with

(06:52):
them.
We're gonna throw them away.
So let's not ignore the comedystylings of board members asking
the same questions 12 differentways, just to have rap say
there's no solid number I cangive you.
Bro, are you a fucking businessmanager or are you a psychic
medium?
Because all I'm hearing is thespirits say maybe.
So we're channeling Miss Cleoand John Edwards from Crossing
Over.
Here comes Sylvia Brown, we'regoing to call Montel.
And just when you think itcouldn't get any more

(07:20):
embarrassing, somebody finallyasks what happens if we don't
pass this budget?
Answer we all die.
Okay, well, not really, butaccording to rap, state funding
evaporates, the sky falls andthe chancellor center turns into
thunderdome.
The fear-mongering is sointense I have expected them to
play the jaws team.
Every time a board memberquestioned the numbers.
They all asked the same thingbut nobody wanted to like stick
it to him because they all sawhow bad he was sitting there.
Like I don't want to put you onthe spot, I know it's been all
you today.

(07:40):
It's like that one episode ofSVU where Ice-T is like the main
star and they got the camera onhim the whole time and like
Benson and Stabler back in theday, like we're risking she's
nowhere to be seen, and likeit's Ice-T's episode.
Well, this was all on rap and Idon't know what kind of maybe a
C-minus, I don't know.

(08:01):
I mean, he tried I guess it'slike giving a wrestling promo
and it's like here and he had noidea what to say.
So in the end, this episode ofBudget Theater concludes with an
emotional senior citizen onfixed income saying I'm willing
to pay more to support education.
Well, you know what?
You have grandkids and then youprobably have kids and they're
going to support you regardless.
But what do you tell all theother people, all the other

(08:27):
senior citizens in the town thatdon't have kids?
Hey, let's support ourneighbor's children.
Listen, I'm all for thechildren.
I love the kids.
The kids are the future, butI'm also for paying the teachers
that are there now and givingthem more money.
Like one of my really goodfriends she'll remain nameless
is a teacher at GoodwillElementary School.
She needs more money for whatshe does.
So when you look at her and say, okay, I'm going to have

(08:49):
another teacher come in, thisteacher is going to get paid
almost what you're getting paidand you're not getting a raise.
Where was Nicole Crawford?
On that one?
I I don't know, although I willsay this.
She is somebody that I know iswell liked throughout this
entire community.
So let's just put her in themiddle, have her run these

(09:10):
meetings and, uh, everybody willbe okay, because that is a
likable person right there.
That is somebody with a brain,with a mouth and somebody who
knows her shit.
Um, and she brushes her teethon a regular.
So I'll take some notes.
So you want a final punch line?
This budget doesn't include anyof the construction or capital
work.
They didn't even bring that up,and that's going to bleed this

(09:31):
district dry in two years.
Okay, so this 2.93 percent hike, that's just the opening act,
which is why they asked for afive-year perspective.
Somebody new to ask thatquestion?
So next year's budget will belike Coachella with VP pricing
and a shitty view.
You know I didn't see any of theadministrators you know, or
Andy, be like.

(09:51):
You know, if these people gave$50,000, these people gave
$10,000, I'll give $5,000.
No, he's not going to giveanything, but I want you to
remember something.
When Donald Trump was firstpresident of the United States
of America, you know what DonaldTrump gave His whole fucking
salary.
You know why?
Because he understood what wasimportant, assholes.
So let me spell it out to you.

(10:12):
You're getting gaslit with theword proposed, proposed,
proposed, proposed.
You're paying more for lessoversight.
Your credit rating's being heldhostage, and don't let that
statement go, because it's 100%accurate.
The credit rating is going tobe a problem and your kids'
schools are becoming a liveaction Monopoly board.

(10:33):
And Andy's the fucking thimble.
Remember that one, the one youput on your fucking finger.
So here's your choice Sit onyour hands and clap politely as
they light your wallet on fire,or show up on June 13th like
SEAL Team 6 and demand a budgetthat doesn't fuck you raw.
Seal Team 6, remember the BinLaden team.
This has been Rock Bottom.
We'll be back next week withmore heat, more sarcasm and more

(10:56):
reasons to throw your taxesinto a blender.