Episode Transcript
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(00:08):
Hello, this is America's podcaster Kirkusserrason my podcast, roll Call the Podcast.
Usually I don't like to start episodesoff with a somber, melancholy moment
like this, but this episode deservesthat. This is Part two with my
guest Jeremy Gilberth, and the thingthat's happening here is that he broke down
(00:32):
in part one, sharing and revealinghis story growing up as a victim of
child abuse, something that affects millionsof children every day of every year.
We ended part one with tears,silence, and a heavy note. But
(00:55):
I've been getting an influx of emailsand messages of people wanting to help,
wanting to ask me what they coulddo. And all I'm telling you is
to listen to these episodes and passthis out spread the word. People need
to hear this because this needs tostop. This cannot continue because it affects
these children when they become adults.As you're about to hear, it affected
(01:17):
him the rest of his life.But luckily he found a way out.
He had someone that saved him,but many aren't as lucky. But what
you're about to hear here is thetrue story of how he spiraled after he
escaped the child abuse. How itdidn't end for decades afterwards. I'm joined
(01:41):
by my co host Stacy with aDot, Tony Frost, and once again,
this is America's podcaster Kirkus Saris presentingmy show, roll Call, the
podcast to help change the world,to help open your eyes, to help
awaken us to the problems that areout there, Join us and the change.
Oh man, you results is talking. These guys don't see it,
(02:06):
but I see you on social media. His daughters are angels and you can
tell all they get his love,and it's like you would have never thought
that the father of those children wentthrough what he went through in life,
because a lot of times what's synonymousis that a lot of children and physical
abuse end up continuing the cycle.They abuse and then they abuse, and
(02:28):
it keeps going and going and going. But you broke the cycle. I'll
kill myself for the cycle continue.I literally would kill myself. My brothers
all feel the same. Yeah,none of us beat. That's amazing.
That means innately in your DNA,you guys didn't have it in you.
Because a lot of people become serialkillers. They either kill themselves or they
(02:51):
go shoot up school or try twiceon that I felt, and we're gonna
and we're gonna get that sool.No, I'll try to kill it myself
twice successful. No, no,no, So I'm gonna give you a
hug real quick. We're gonna I'mgonna take give a quick hug. I'll
take a break. We might needa break right now. No, we're
not taking a huge I love you, I appreciate you, and thank you.
(03:17):
That's gonna help so many people becausethey need to hear that. They're
all alone and you know that,Yeah, you know that because nobody wants
to talk about it. A lotof people are scared. I've approached a
lot of friends I know that havegone through similar things and they don't want
to talk about it, and Itell them, you're not doing it for
you, You're doing it for othersto help. That's why I do the
(03:38):
show to help people. It's notfor me. I'm not getting shit out
of this, you know, TonyStacy. We come here, we have
fun, but in the end,I've created this show to help people in
any way possible, and I appreciateyou coming in here. So now we're
gonna we're gonna go to the mostimportant, one of the most important times
in your life. And it's notyour kids, but the event that happened
(04:02):
that was your transition out of yourfather's home and to the rest of your
life. Tell us about that.So I had met this my first wife
at the time. I met myfirst wife at the time, and we
were, you know, dating.I was dating her, still stayed at
home and some reason, my parentsjust didn't like her. They didn't like
anything about her. And you know, I got it, but I liked
(04:23):
her. So I um decided Iwanted to move out and get her own
place. And for some reason,my mom did not want me to move
out because she didn't want to beleft alone my dad, because you were
the youngest and everybody else was alreadygone. Yeah yeah, yeah, so
it would be leaving all the abuseto her, yeah, not shared.
So yeah, there was a reasonfor her real quick introjection. And I
(04:43):
hope I didn't miss it because I'mlegit paying attention. Your mom was not
physical with you. It was justyour dad, just my dad. My
mom never stood up, She neverstood up for us that a mom should
have, you know, a kidsaid, So, Um, I went
and told my mom that. Isaid, look, I can't do this
anymore with him. And I waseighteen or nineteen at the time. This
(05:05):
was an adult, you know.But you know they don't look at it
like that. When they abuse,you're still they got to keep you under
them, so they keep you,you know, stupid and dumb. So
I said, I can't do itanymore. I gotta get out of her.
Kid do this, I'm gonna killhim or don't kill me. And
I said I'm moving out, andshe goes, you're not leaving me here
(05:25):
with him, and I said,Mom, that's your husband. You married
him, not me, And sheslapped me and I looked at her and
said, are you fucking kidding me? And then he comes running in the
room and says, did you hitmy wife? I said no, I
said she slapped me. And Momjust looks at me and says, he
slapped me, And then I saidwhat? And then oh no, it
(05:47):
gets good. So then he runsout of the bedroom, comes back with
a loaded gun, a rifle inone carbine from World War two military stop,
points it at me and cocks thechamber. He always had a round
in the chamber ready to go,and he goes, get the funk out
of my house, and I waslike, what are you gonna do?
Dad, You're gonna shoot me.You're gonna shoot me, and go ahead
(06:10):
and do it. I'll get thelast laugh. And he looks at me
and he goes, you know you'reright, and I thought, oh wow,
did I just win him over?So he grabs the gun, turns
it around to the butt and goes, boom, hits you right in the
head, knocks knocks me out onthe couch. I wake up minutes later
he's on top of me, chokingme out with his form, pushing me
(06:34):
down. I can't breathe and Ijust can't breathe. I'm telling Dad,
I can't breathe. I can't breathe, and he won't get off it.
He was a three hundred pound guy. He was a big guy, so
just his way alone on like alittle, you know, eighteen year old,
skinny little meat. It was alout. And then I finally looked
him and said, Dad, you'rekilling me. I can't breathe. I
can't. I was going black andI see him just roll off and it
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was like he came to It waslike whatever he was, he disappeared.
He came too. I was like, oh shit, I'm killing him.
And he rolls off and he's like, doesn't know what he's doing. And
I jumped up and I ran outsidethe front door, and I ran for
two miles down the sideway the sideof the highway in the night, and
I slept in the middle of thewoods right I could just and I wasn't
(07:16):
going home, and I just sleptthere till the next day. And then
I had my brother come pick meup and I went and I live with
my brother. I never went andgot your stuf. No, I left
it. I never went back gotit. I never I didn't talk to
him for two or three four yearsafter that, and then finally he tried
to my mom, tried to playmediator and come back. But I went
(07:39):
from there and I went and gotmy own place with the girlfriend at the
time, which became my first wife, you know, which didn't turn out
well because after we reconciled, Iinvited him to the wedding, even though
probably should have. They didn't come. They didn't come to the wedding,
so, which was really crappy becausemy whole side was Indiana, whole side
was yeah, because my dad talkedto my brothers and said, if I'm
(08:01):
not going, y'allo go. Sothey didn't go. So it was like
nobody from bids a really unique wedding. Wow. So yeah, so it
was more mental abuse. I waslike, guys wanted to keep this ship
going on. So then I finallysaid, you know, why don't I
hear why I staying here? Idon't need to be in the place.
So I was like, my dreamswere to go to La. So I
just packed everything on my car,went to LA and I never went back.
(08:24):
So that that's the event there.It is for everybody, and talking
about an event that is an event. Yeah, thank you so much for
sharing that, because that is thatis profound because from then on you've only
gone up for those of you whodon't know Jeremy, which is everybody.
He's a fucking awesome dude, Likeyou would never think that this guy experienced
(08:48):
that. He's got such a goodheart. He's one of those guys that
always tells you I love you,I'm thinking about you, he always checks
in on you, and like he'sone of those genuine human beings fanned that
it's hard to find, and likeit's crazy the thing that this guy went
through, all that frecking shit.But maybe that's why you are the way
you are. You're an empathetic humanbeing because because usually most people that aren't
(09:16):
empathetic. I'm a very empathetic persontoo, because I went through a lot
of shit as a kids who mostpeople aren't empathetic, didn't experience shit.
They had a cookie cutter life.Everything was handed to him and they have
no emotion. They're just like acardboard box. So we're going to fast
forward to Hollywood. When you movedto Hollywood. You came here. You
(09:37):
wanted to be an actor, youwanted to be Hollywood. And you said
something to me, and you said, I landed here in Hollywood, and
all I was was hungry for love. LA, for those who don't know,
attracts that type of person and attractspeople who are lost, confused,
who don't know what they want todo, who needs something, and a
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lot people in LA are hungry forattention love, They need something. So
you came here and you were hungryfor love, and you went full speed
into the nightlife when you got andas he called it, the dark side
of Hollywood, which you know,I'm I don't know. You know,
Stacy's experiences her fair share of LAbut not really much Hollywood, Tony,
(10:22):
I don't think so much. SoI have being an actor in this town,
I've seen everything. You can seeyou luck letting it sucked into it.
But I know what you're talking about. And it's literally there's no darker
place. It's almost like the darkside Hollywood, to not be on planet
Earth. It's almost like purgatory.Yeah, because when you're actually in it,
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it's surreal, like you see demons, you see the shadows, you
see the evil. It's it's crazy. And I did it sober. I
could only imagine you because you wentfull speed. You drank, you did
drugs, you did the sex worldas you call it, a trinity.
Yeah, so tell me what happened, like drugs and alcohol. So when
(11:07):
you've got here, when you gothere, you just what happened. You
just got here and you're like,well, I was searching for love,
friendships and always went out and metpeople, and you know, it's always
me honest and real, and Igot you know, people were looking for
that too, they look for thereal and people. You know, I
started getting invited all the Hollywood Hillsparties and all the who's who's and every
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I'm not naming names, we knowthat, but all the A listers parties
and and just you know, theretill the sunrise, you know, vampire
hours. They going home and goto your job and repeat right after,
you know, you go off workand do this for I did for about
six seventy eight years, hardcore.It's a NonStop thing. For those who
don't know, it's like, yeah, you basically you go these mansions of
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these people, have these parties,and the parties go all night. You
leave when the sun either leave whenthe sun comes up or you wake up
when the sun comes up. Everybody'sdoing drugs. How old were you when
you got Hollywood? Two twenty two? And and again what we were talking
about. He went straight to thethe drugs, alcohol sacks, the life
of Hollywood. Now, you toldme that you um, you found a
(12:18):
place that you you called home.You said that you found that these people
accepted you for you thought that's whatit was. But you were living an
emotionalless life. Yeah, at thebeginning it was accepted me for everything.
What was this place? It wasall it was, you know, the
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afterparties, the whatever went went.There was no rules. So for those
of you that don't know that undergroundlife is so dark that everyone is actually
they want to bring down everybody witheach so everybody makes you feel like you're
special and that I love you andthis not butser loves company exactly. That
is what I got out of miseryloves comany. So that's what was happening
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there. So yeah, So forseveral many, many years, you know,
I lived that lifestyle of work,drink, party, sex, drugs,
work, drinking, parties things andwork hard, party hard. It's
like, oh, that's the samewe all do it. Everyone does in
Hollywood. So I'm doing nothing wrong. And to the point that it was
I started to see the darkness.I started to see the I mean literally
see like people like at parties thatjust weren't people like you would see him
(13:26):
praying, praying on people and justlike and I could see it and the
dark side, and then it kindof hit me like, oh, this
is all about sacks, this isabout control, this is it's about you
know, these these things they usedto get you in and get you there
and then they keep you in thisplace. And I finally, you know,
was in that for sevent eight years. Then I met my wife,
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your second second wife, my currentcurrent wife, the only one that should
have been the parties. Oh,she wouldn't go to those things. This
is when your life really got good. But let's let's finish with really darkness
and we're gonna go to the good. But like now, Stacy or Tony,
have you ever experienced in these partieshe's talking about. I mean,
(14:11):
Stacey, you've experienced parties, butthis is Hollywood's total. It's different than
the valley like Hollywood parties are.Like I said before, I'm looking back,
I'm having like ptst myself because Iwould go to these parties and I
would drink. I never did drugs, but I would always drink, and
I would see literally demons. Yeah, I would see guys that like their
(14:35):
eyes were changing colors. I'm notkidding. I saw horns on people like
and I saw shadows, I sawdarkness, I saw fire. I saw
so much decrepit shit in these parties. Everyone fucking doing drugs and no loyalty,
no, no loyalty, no nothing. Anyone was anyone to pray no
and exactly and it was it was. It was nothing like you could imagine.
(14:58):
I tell my friends back home,I think, I say, I
can't even describe to you what I'veseen here, right, it's nothing that's
on the like on the planet.And you were living it like I would
just visit years, but you wereliving it so day and night you would
do this, and then you keptdoing it and doing it and doing it.
How did you pay bills? Howdid you get by? Well?
I you know, I always puta game face on and always say and
(15:22):
I'd always get the good jobs.And then as they ever sucked it,
No, I was gonna say sometimesyeah, it's like, no, that's
in my experience. But um toif that's it's amazing how many people of
a question as you ever sucked?I'm sorry, we wake up. I'm
(15:54):
not touching now. The only tenfoot poll he's touching is the one is
coming from behind. Yeah, exactly. It's like, so, uh where
were we? We were on thetenth football to my wife knows that one.
She called it out. I said, you need to teach our daughters
(16:18):
that one. Don't fall for it. Um anyway, So, uh,
there's nightlife for many years that Igot sected two and it was very hard
to get out of the thing thatgot me out of it was just I
finally woke up one morning at Ithink at the Standard, or I want
to say this, yeah, theStandard, and it was just this was
(16:38):
before close. This was like greatin this height of party and two thousand
and four, two thousand, Yeah, because my I lived for six years.
Um, literally in my window Icould throw a fricking pebble and it
would hit the Standards. So Ilived on the long Pree and Sweetzer for
six years in the middle you're right, heart of it, the heart of
(17:00):
it. Yeah, on the topfloor, the best department in the building.
So you actually would wake up inthe Standard randomly. It was.
It was a series of things thatled up to that moment, but that
was the moment that was standing thereand it was just this room of guys
and girls all naked, just layingaround and yeah, but how many times
to battery have in the night before? So for those of them people the
(17:22):
audience wants to hear this. Yeah, so when you say to battery,
there's people laying around naked, Imean everywhere, drugs everywhere, passed out
neck I mean, it's just it'slike, how many times would you wake
You woke up like this a lotseven years of that lifestyle, and then
you wake up and then you fuckinghungover, and then you know, you
either made it to work or youdidn't. You got fired, You find
(17:42):
another job, or you find anothershow. You get on. Lucky me.
I was always at the dedicated guythat would just go to work either
hung over or high and still pulla job off. Um I never would,
you know, never got fired foranything like that. But um,
you start to become you start tomake the habit work. You start to
make the lifestyle work for your habit. And that's what I was doing.
(18:04):
I was working to feed my habit, not you know, feeding the habit
to work. And then it gotto the point where I was feeding the
habit more than work, and Istarted losing jobs, and then you know,
I kind of hit rock bottom andsome of the things. But that's
the beauty of it. Sucks youin and then you make it work for
a while till the addiction takes overand then you can't make the work.
(18:26):
Now. I think you mentioned itearlier, but tell us one more time,
what is the event that happened duringthese times? In Hollywood, this
seven years of partying, party andpartying. Is there an event that woke
you up that made you realize whatthe fuck am I doing? Yes,
it was an event that I remember. One night, went back to the
(18:48):
after party in a friend's place,and you know, these girls came back
with us. It was this bigmansion up in Wooden Hills and a good
friend of mine, and they hadcoke on them and we had coke and
we were all party and everything.And I the girl that was there,
I knew her from always bumping intoat clubs and we were somewhat friends,
but we never really hooked up ordid anything. We were just buddies,
(19:08):
you know. And she was attractedto my friend own the house, so
you know, I left him thereand I went back my way, and
then I get a call the nextmorning from my friend uh calling me saying
that hey, like, hey,Jeremy, Like, I don't know what
happened. I think she overdosed.Like she's she's dead, She's dead in
the bed. And I'm like what. I was like, are you kidding
(19:30):
me? And he's like no,dude, I said, did you check
her pulse? He's like no,he was like called nine one gears the
other on the way here. It'slike, so she overdosed on drugs with
him, and what could have beenme overdosed? Did he get did he
get convicted of anything? Well,no, because I well, I don't
know what played out with that.I don't know that played out. All
I know is that it changed hislife too. Well. I quickly was
(19:53):
like, Okay, this is areal this is real shit. Yeah,
that's gonna be me going down thatroute. And I had I had overdose
two or three times before that,and I luckily you had. Oh yeah,
let's hear about that. Um So, one night I got in a
break up with this girl and Iwas in Hollywood, Hollywood Heartburg, which
happens a lot, and you know, I just went out and did too
(20:14):
many drugs and I remember running downSunset all the way, just running out
of the club and running and runningtill I passed out on the street.
And then some of mts found mejust laying there going into convulsions. Us
on Sunset Boulevard, Yeah, andthey rushed me back, and uh,
it was right next to shelter,shelter. Everybody knows shelter. Yeah,
(20:37):
shelter. Yeah, what drugs areyou doing that night? Uh? Coke
as always coke the white Dragon.Um but so that was my poison.
Um so I you're not the onlyone to hear the stunt coke. Yeah,
the co host here have done it. Unfortunately, I always say I've
never done as, I have noidea. Yeah, like I love Tony's
always describing to me how it feels, what it does, and like,
(21:03):
I've never done so, I don'teven understand it. I feel it's suffer
for each person because if you havean addictive personality, you're gonna get hooked.
If you don't have an addictive personality, you're gonna try and say,
oh, this is not my thing. Yeah it's And for those listening,
let me be very clear, yes, do not try it. Do not
try. I'm just don't let peopletalk you into saying, oh, try
(21:26):
everything wants don't that's bullshit. Youdon't need to try everything. You don't
need to jump off a bridge.You know I was gonna kill you,
and I'm here to test. I'venever even tried it once. I'm not
and I never I always say thatI always have to stipulate it. I'm
not sitting here, Sam holier thananybody. I just wasn't ever in the
predicament. I happened to just luckilybe around the right people to where I
just didn't. I didn't alcohol,and yeah, I drink a lot of
(21:48):
a lot of liquor. But eventuallyas I got older, I realized Then
when it was started getting offered,I was like, no, I'm cool.
Yeah, but so so you randown the street out of the club,
passed out, and now stop wokeup in the hospital. It was
necessarily so. I woke up inthe hospital. So ton with a bunch
(22:11):
of tubes hold on. Tony claimsthat when cocaine's near his his nose running.
Okay, okay, so Devil's advocateon that you can go. I
can go to a club right now, and I can find the coke people.
I can point him out in lineup and just say he does coke,
(22:32):
she does go he does coke.And when you can smell it,
when someone has it on, somebody'sdoing it, I can smell the chemical
in it on your nose. Yousmell it smells like sour cabbage, or
like sour cabbage, rotten rotten fruit, vegetable shit, I would. I
would not even know this. I'vebeen by sour cab ye and I never
(22:52):
even knew it. Well, it'son their nose. You can smell it,
and it's a keen odor. Shit, you guys. Before my wife's
sober me up, I would doit. And this was years ago,
and because we've been together for eighteenyears, I was doing do it and
she'd be like, look at me. And then she goes, are you
doing coked? And be like no, She's like, oh my god,
smell like coke. I'm like,fuck, how did she know this?
(23:12):
How did she smell it? AndI'm sitting there. And then when you're
not on it and you go toa party and you smells, you like,
oh shit, that's how She's like, you can smell it, it's
right there. Sh Yeah, it'sa very can smell smell. So I
agree with you, Tony. SoTony says that his nose it's just and
Stacy said, what you think itjust makes me start like having a really
(23:33):
fucked up gaggy. Yeah. Ifthat's the first you can feel it,
like you feel it going down theback of it. You smell exactly.
And Stacy is clean now for fourten years. I'm right there where you
stay. It was five and ahalf years ago, a year before my
kid coke free. Haven't done anythingdrug related from about five and a half
(24:00):
years. That's what's up with thisguy. So moving on from Hollywood and
that fucked up life. We teston that enough. If you guys wanted
to learn more about it, listento all my episodes because everybody that comes
on the show has lived the lifewe all have lived now. So we're
gonna move on to the save youreal quick. Your second wife, your
current wife, Yeah, she savedyou. I met her through a friend
(24:25):
that I was trying to hit on, and she was the friend of a
friend. Oh so let me I'mgonna get a run through it. Okay,
I'm gonna So I had a girlfriendthat I was happy with, and
then I met my wife, whichwas the friend at the time of a
friend that was trying to hit onbecause I was a happy in the relationship
I was in. So then Igave her my number and then somehow I
(24:47):
bumped into my current wife at themall when with my girlfriend because we're trying
to mendle the relationship, and shesees me I swear to god, I
said it was out of town andI was trying to see where this relationship
was going because I was trying toget out of this one. And We're
at the Burbank Mall and I said, I'm out of town. I'll be
back in a couple of days.And as I'm in Victoria's Secrets with the
(25:08):
girlfriend I was at the time,shopping holding, I looked to my right
and there is my current wife,but not my wife at the time,
staring at me, looking like deerin headlights, like I thought you were
in Texas. And I'm like,everything went like boom boom. Now here's
where gets a good. The girlfriendsees me and goes, why is he
(25:29):
staring like that? She comes up. She's coming up, and I was
like, we gotta go quick,let's go a long story short. Somehow
they both do something's up. Somy current girlfriend at the time looked to
my phone, found my wife's number. They talked, had a great four
hours. They had a great fourhour conversation. Found out that I was
(25:51):
still currently with this girl, butnot happy, I guess, is what
she said. And then they boththree weighed me and well, yeah,
not that the worst grounds ever thatwould ever seem like it would be married
with kids later. And you know, after that call happened, and you
(26:14):
know, my current girlfriend I brokeup. Then Elena went her own way.
Months later happened. I decided toreach out to Elena and say,
hey, do you want to tryagain? Start over and try something new.
You know, I just didn't knowhow to get the relationship. And
we did. And she goes,yes, but you're gonna be able a
very short fucking leash. And Iwas like, okay, that's fine.
I'll be on the leash and youand I proved myself. I think the
rule was, and she'll laugh andshe's hearing this, the rule was,
(26:37):
when I call you, if youdo not pick up, then we are
done. If you do not pickup that phone when I call it,
we're done. Because I think Isaid, okay, I'll do it.
That's just girls anyway, Yeah,that's just how they are. And you
know eighteen years later that I ama girl. But but I'm I have
(27:04):
to just interrupt that. I justhave to not all girls are like that,
not all like that. But youreacted to the threesome comments, so
well, yeah, sure, butstay comments, um so so. So
it was still a transition because evenwhen we met, I was still in
that party phase and she was tryingto battle getting me out of it.
(27:26):
So our relationship hit many pivots thatwas very close to breaking because I still
wouldn't choose. I was still battlingchoosing my lifestyle. I have in the
current lifestyle, but I knew inmy heart that the right one was here
and this was empty and go backto what you said, the empty life.
When I realized I had an emptylife and an empty emotions of everything,
(27:48):
I realized I have to choose thisor I'm gonna lose this, and
this is the right path. Ihave to let this go. So I
cut a lot of the old friendsoff. The only way I could do
it was cut friends off. Ijust had to cut them, stop going
to these things. And then itwas a transition, and it was a
long road even after that. Itwas but that was the beginning of your
whole new life, healing from yourpast. Yep, she pulled me out
(28:10):
of the darkness. Now I havea question for you. Do you feel
like some people in life just alwaysget the bad luck. It's one thing
after another thing after another thing,and then you look at other people and
they're like they never have things badhappened to them. It's like it's always
good after good after good, andit's like I'm always going through trials and
tribulations and being tested in this andthat, and I see these people and
(28:34):
I's like, nothing happens to them. Do you feel like that's you?
I feel that some to answer thatjust levels to that, But yes,
I feel that some people in lifehave more things happened to them, whether
it be to get them ready tohelp someone else, that's gonna have it.
For me. I'm going through alot, as you know right now,
(28:56):
a lot of things personally family wise. When my parents past year or
a year, even though all thedad and all the ship, I still
loved him and I still as yourdad. Yeah, for those of you
who didn't hear that both his parentspassed in the same year, that it
was hard. That's that's that's andand so I feel like I never understood
that. But now when I hadmy other my other friends at their parents,
(29:18):
I know the pain their feelings.So I reached out to it more.
I reached out and try to say, hey, look it gets better.
It's harder now, no know,it's like it feels empty, but
you just gotta keep going. It'sgonna get better. The heal, they
will heal itself. So I alwayslook at I always find the good in
the bad. But I do feellike some people do get more battled because
I look at your childhood and yourupbringing from the kids of the teenager,
(29:40):
what you already talked about and all. I mean, you experienced more up
until eighteen that most people have experiencedin lifetime. Yeah, apparently we have
second degree PTSD what they diagnosed Uand and and I'm sure we're not seeing
that. But again, like Itold everybody the audience earlier, and these
guys, the Jeremy that I knowdoesn't have pete st he's such a freaking
(30:02):
badass human beings so freaking cool andloves you for you. He just cares
about you and he like he actuallyis one of those people that checks in
on you and like, hey,how are you doing? I love you,
just want to make sure you're okay, And he does that and he's
got his own ship going on becauseafter the reason I asked that question,
is everything you've been through in thelast year, you've been through hell again.
(30:25):
Yeah, you had a nephew passa week ago. A week ago
you leukemia. You had a Ijust want to say his names or his
name is Angus Finn and we're gonnaput that on their Angus Finn. We're
yeah, he passed what leukimia leukemiaAnd then and then you personally had something
(30:48):
happened. Yeah, my wife andI were trying for another child and do
the baby and we we we're blessed. We she got pregnant and four months
went by and then we um welost the baby. So so the baby
was found that had syndrome. Sothey they're born on other other disap we're
gonna cause life challenging. So inthis last year, I'm just saying,
(31:12):
like, you think that this guywho's been through hell and back as a
child and teenager, you think thatfor those of you believe in God,
in the universe and things like that, you think that like the universe would
be like, right, this dude'sbeen through enough. Let's just okay,
we're gonna make the end of hislife a little bit easier. But no,
but then you but then you hearthat have you ever heard that saying
(31:33):
that God only tests those who areable to like, God doesn't give you
what you can't handle exactly. Andit's like that thing that you gotta look
at it like well because not everyonecan handle it. Well. That was
my original thought, and that's whatI recally thought for years, was like,
why is the universe always beat meup? Why always good? Why
did you have a father that hatedme and wanted to take out his anger
onness? Why did we have allthese dudes? Why did I blah blah
(31:56):
blah blah I had all these Whywhy meat? And then and the more
I became older, the more Istarted to sit down and just watch how
life works. Was it wasn't whymeans it was, it's just life and
it doesn't pick it. It doesn'tjust pick and choose. It's just life.
Yes, And then I took iteven further. Then I started to
dig deep in the people I wanted. That's why I always want to get
(32:19):
to know peoples. I wonder whothey're from, where they're going. And
the more you dig and the moreyou get inside that circle, you'll find
out that you're not alone and thatthey just don't tell you. They put
the face on two they put thepretty speaking of that and not being alone.
Thank you for saying that. Whatcan you tell people right now that
we're right on that moment? Allthe millions of kids that are ten eleven
(32:44):
years old, teenagers that are goingthrough this, adults that went through this
that's still having coked with it.What can you tell them when they realize
when I'm not alone, I'm here, I'm hearing Jeremy's story right now.
He's been through this and he madeit out. What can you what can
you say to them to just knowyou're loved. Know you're loved. Somebody
(33:06):
loves you, and whether or notbe your parents, they might not be,
your dad, might be, yourmom, might not be your siblings.
Just know that you are loved andthat you just gotta love yourself too,
and you gotta not get stuck inthat moment because if you do,
it'll consume you. And they canget out of it, right, Oh
yeah, they can get out ofit, like no matter how dark and
shackle they feel like they are,they can get out of it. You
(33:27):
have to. You have to findthe make peace with it. You have
to. You can't just keep youknow, either there's two types of people
that are get abused, ones thatwant to sit in it and just talk
about And that's okay, that's ifthat's how you do it, that's how
you deal with it. Um,you might not obtain your your goals in
life, you might not have changedyou're able to obtain, but forgive it,
(33:50):
let it go, get rid ofthat hate and anger and you.
And I had to do that.I had to just take all that haten
anger to my dad and I saidto say, you know what, he's
gone. It's not gonna care.I'm not carrying that heaviness. I just
take it out. And when Ifinally said I get I forgive you Dad,
And I said down one night andI just talked to him as if
he was there, yes, AndI said, Dad, I forgive you,
and I forgive you for the thingsyou did to my brothers and night
(34:13):
and the things I know you did, the things I don't know you did.
I forgive you for that's amazing.And I took all that hurt and
anger, the dark shit that wasjust sitting in there. That's when I
was like and whenever I drink,it would come out and I would get
mad because I was like ah,I gave it away. I didn't want
it. Then I forgave him,and I forgave myself, and and my
(34:34):
wife helped me with that. Shehelped me, said, you need to
forgive your father. You gotta justlet it go. So I did.
And it was for those there haven'tbeen able to do it. You know
what you have to do. Youhave to somehow forgive and don't let him
affect your him or her or her, don't let For me, it was
a hymn. Don't let him orher or them affect your meaning in life.
(34:58):
Your meaning is your meaning? Findit? Stacy with a daughter,
Tony Frost. Anything you can thinkof that you want to ask this amazing
Jeremy. Something that I noticed arecurring theme just watching you guys and listening
to you guys. Um you keepmentioning how he is that kind of person
who genuinely wants to know about youand genuinely checks in and you. That's
(35:20):
you're getting out of yourself. That'swhy you're not victimized by your past,
is because you're putting your thoughts intosomebody else's problems and somebody else's life and
what they're doing, and that kindof just lifts all that stuff from you.
So I think that's admirable, that'sawesome, Thank you. I love
helping people. My wife always laughsat me because he's like, I know,
if we drive across a homeless man, it's got a baby at a
(35:43):
cart or some child, you're goingto stop and do something. And I'm
like, yeah, that people,And there's not to say anything, but
this tell you kind of person Iam. Is. I remember driving down
the road right here, riverside inFulton, and I was rushing to go
somewhere and I saw this guy inthe cart three girls, three baby girls,
and he was just looked like hewas almost and these were daughters of
like probably eight down to two,and they were outside in cold and wet,
(36:07):
and I remember his little girl justlooking at shivering, and I everyone
else is flying by, and theywere getting off a bus and I said,
I pulled out and said, hey, man, are you guys okay?
As they are they okay? Hewas like, no, my kids
are cold. I'm trying to getback to the hotel because we got evicted
out of our plays and they're hungry. And some guy just literally urinated on
my daughter on the bus I'm like, are you kidding me? And I
(36:29):
looked at his daughter and she wassoaked as like it's like she's freaking out.
I was like, okay, Isaid, look, listen to me
get the back of the car.As I took him over to ross,
I called the wife. I said, but buddy, I'm doing something,
and I said, just so youknow where I'm at, dada. I
took him down to the ross,I let the kids pick out a bunch
of pants, shirts and jackets,and I gave him another tuner dollars to
(36:50):
the top of it and said thiswill cover your hotel for the week ago.
And he didn't know what to say, and it was but my wife
is like, she's like, everytime I buy the sea, I know
you're gonna probably thought, yeah,probably am. I love helping people,
man, I'm so glad that wedid this. Thank you so much because
see Jeremy co hosted on the showa few weeks back with a guest that
(37:13):
went through a lot of personal stuffand he started revealing stuff as a cost
like and we're like, holy shit. I didn't realize the story was like
that because to me, I've onlyknown him as this nice guy that was
so loving. I thought, thisguy has no problems. This is how
life is. I thought this guyhad no issues, and the kind of
find out he was a fucked upindividual. And it fucked up but chucked
(37:35):
up as a compliment, meaning thefact that you are who you are but
fucked up is like it's a it'san attribute, dude. It shows what
the human being can do. AndI he said. I asked him why
why did he decide to share thestory with everybody? Why did you decide
to share the story with the world, And he said to me, I
want to help anyone else going throughit right now to know there is hope
(37:58):
and light in the world old andyou're not alone. So don't feel alone
that you can't help that. Youjust have to reach out and let people
know what you're going through and tohelp them. Now. It is hopefully
to inspire others to know our pastdoes not determine your present or future.
That is solely on you. Wehave to rise above the pain and confront
(38:22):
it and make peace with it sowe do not get stuck in the moment
and miss a life that was meantto be beautiful for each of us.
I did just that and now havea beautiful family and wife and career.
Just love yourself. That's why you'resharing a story. Thank you, Thank
(38:43):
you for for being vulnerable and openingup. Because every fucking day there are
millions on the planet. I wasjust going to talk about the our our
country. There's hundreds of thousands everyday that I didn't know what to do,
(39:05):
and that you tell them the storygives them hope that there's a way
out they can do it. Now, I'm gonna end with a little fun
we don't want to end on.We're gonna end on a fun part.
We're gonna We're gonna end on afew little questions to get to know you,
to make you human, human andwe love you. But man,
(39:28):
that was an amazing journey. Sothank you Tony Frost Casey got for being
here and going for the ride.But we want to know for getting on
the bus. We want to know. So, Jeremy, what are three
(39:50):
things I would find in your grocerycart? Cream cheese, orange, stead
of rolls? What the um cereal? Jesus Christ, what's an orange?
Orange? Pillsberry? Orange cinnamon rolls? Orange and cinnamon? Yeah, you
never had them? No story likeyou. It's the tube that you crack
(40:17):
open and you put it in thepaint and bake them, put the orange
icing on it's oranges. Ye.Yeah, it's like only pills Only Pillsberry
makes them. Clearly, That's allyou would need is Pillsberry for real.
That's it. That's it. Sowhat are your top what are your top
(40:38):
three favorite bands of all time?On Pink Floyd um Um buck Cherry.
You heard our episodes. I knowI was very upset. I wasn't a
host. So by the way,it's because the Stacy that we have Stevie,
(41:00):
because that's how Yeah, Stevie's friends, so she brought him in.
Oh, I was wondering, whoknews Stevie? Nice? Yeah, all
of a sudden, Stacey's like,I like this case. So buck Cherry
(41:21):
has a new album coming up,like in the next few minutes, right,
So, what's one song that youwould pick that would be your pump
like your eye over the tire,U jump around j that's friend that you
(41:44):
can't not party that no, evenif you don't want to party still exactly,
that's a good call. So,h what's your favorite genre of film
that you that you would want towork on uh John Roger drama dram,
drama, drama, drama, butlike specifically like medieval or like World War
(42:06):
two period two. There you go. See that's it. I like like
more Game of Thrones VI was recarded. I feel like I was in that
era nineteen twenties, nineteen forty four. I was in the nineteen forty I'm
drawing. Oh yeah, I feellike I was. I had a life
in that era, just going yeahin the war though in the ward part
(42:27):
of Hey yea to Italian, Idon't know here. I went around the
world. So if I had acloset full of superhero outfits right there behind
Chris, what would you pick?Flash? Oh? Why is that?
That tells it? What? Thattells us? All about human being?
(42:50):
And my wife calls me the Flashat parties because I move. I move
around so fast that I'm never inone spot. I'm glad you clar she
she would she shouldn't say, don'tpull a flash tonight, and like,
okay, I'll stay with you.Don't worry, just like, don't leave
me talking to somebody and I'm gone, I gotta go to the bathrooms.
I'll be right back, and I'llnever come back just talking to everybody.
(43:13):
Okay, two more state one statementthat would describe your twenty twenty Yes,
exactly. And the final question.If you go back in time for two
minutes, two minutes and face yournine or ten year old self two minutes
(43:38):
you can kneel down one knee twominutes to look him in the eyes.
What would you tell him? Iwould tell him that he's loved and that
you end up turning out great andyou don't turn out like your father,
and you're gonna be a great man. Yes, oh I know this rule.
(44:00):
All the podcast. We got JeremyGilbreth, we got Tony Frost,
we have Stacey with a guy who'sawees podcaster, Kirkus Serrius. That's how
you're on the show right there.Jeremy, thank you so much. We
appreciate you being vulnerable and being realand telling the stories so that we can
help people. We gotta share,and that's what's all about, is sharing
(44:20):
with the world what we've been throughto help others. O, thank you
so much. Any last words,Stacy me dot Tony Frost and we are
out of here. Good Night,