July 10, 2025 • 39 mins
Any takeaways from this episode?
We're kicking off our totally tubular '80s summer rewind series with the cult classic Say Anything (1989), starring Ione Skye and John Cusack. Kira’s teenage heart is swooning, while Izzy is…confused. We’re unpacking emotional enmeshment, obsessive crushes, and that infamous boombox scene (spoiler: it doesn’t go how you remember it). Come for the nostalgia, stay for the love lessons—and the healthy dose of side-eye.
What We Cover:
- Lloyd Dobler: Dream guy or giant red flag?
- Diane’s wild ride from golden girl to jail visitor
- The messy, manipulative father-daughter dynamic
- Why first love is intoxicating (and often dysfunctional)
- 80s tropes that shaped a generation of daters
- Real talk: Will Lloyd and Diane make it?
Where to Watch: Say Anything is currently streaming on Hulu.
New to RomCom Rescue?
We’re a therapist + dating coach duo who dissect your favorite rom-coms for the love lessons inside. Because you deserve a healthy happily ever after—with boundaries.
Come talk with us about your favorite rom-coms on instagram, tiktok, & youtube and Bluesky!
Get show notes, transcripts, and more information on at Rom-ComRescue.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
That's right, welcome to our 80s series, Big
Hair, Big Hopes, 80s Rom-ComRewind.
This week we are breaking down1989 Rom-Com with Ione Skye and
John Cusack, Say Anything,currently streaming on Hulu.
SPEAKER_00 (00:20):
Welcome to the Rom-Com Rescue Podcast, a brand
new podcast where we bring thelove and life lessons from your
favorite rom-coms.
I'm Kira Saban.
I'm a healthy dating educator, acertified coach, and a positive
psychology practitioner.
But more importantly, I spend mydays teaching the skills and
mindsets of dating.
SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
And I'm Dr.
Isabel Morley.
I'm a licensed clinicalpsychologist and an
EFT-certified couples therapist,and I help couples have the
happiest, healthiestrelationship possible.
Join us weekly as we break downthe best love lessons from your
favorite rom-coms so we can allget into the best relationships
possible, because we believethat we create our own happily
(00:59):
ever afters.
SPEAKER_00 (01:17):
Welcome back.
We are officially back and we'renot just back.
We are back with a series.
It is summer break and we'vedecided to go back to the 80s
and spend at least the next fourepisodes, maybe more, breaking
down some of the best 80srom-coms.
(01:37):
And that's questionable.
I'm not going to lie.
Best 80s rom-coms still havequestionable lessons, but we're
going to have fun with it.
And if you come over to YouTubeor check us out on Instagram,
you will see we are in fullcostume right now.
It is fantastic.
It's a lot.
Please come on over and see usbut let's get into this because
(02:00):
I mean I have I have so much tosay because this is part of my
childhood, teen years, world,and you're just like, what the
fuck was this
SPEAKER_01 (02:16):
movie?
I'm so confused.
Let's go, let's
SPEAKER_00 (02:18):
go.
Tell me what you thought.
The best part of
SPEAKER_01 (02:21):
our series is that you've seen these movies, they
mean something to you.
I've seen none of them.
I'm coming in blind.
Here's the one thing that I'llsay.
I left this movie thinking, whatjust happened?
And I still don't know.
I am not sure.
(02:42):
I was so lost the entire time.
Like it's supposed to be lightand funny and there was some
funny moments, but then it waslike very serious.
Lloyd is in the scary montage,driving around, talking to
himself.
And I also wasn't sure.
I also wasn't sure whateverybody's role was like.
Okay.
So she's smart and bookish.
(03:03):
And I even out of touch with theteen world, but was he Kira?
Was he cool?
Is he not cool?
I think he's just Lloyd.
What's that?
For a second, I thought he waslike the cool kid who was
bringing in the nerd into thegroup.
Then I was like, oh, but maybehe's not cool at all either.
And why is he obsessed with her?
SPEAKER_00 (03:24):
So when I say, what is your overall takeaway?
You're like, huh?
What was this?
SPEAKER_01 (03:30):
And I'm waiting for the boombox scene.
Because I've heard about it mywhole life.
I'm waiting for this boombox
SPEAKER_00 (03:38):
scene.
Right, right, right.
It's a very classic scene.
SPEAKER_01 (03:40):
I'm imagining she goes to the window.
Oh, look, it's amazing.
Runs out into the grass to hughim.
The boombox scene leads tonothing.
He just stands there and does itand she ignores him.
And then it goes to the nextscene, Kira.
I was so confused.
Why is everyone obsessed withthe boombox scene?
SPEAKER_00 (03:59):
Okay, well, so let me preface a couple of things
here.
Number one...
So this came out in 1989.
I was 16 when this came out.
So I was pretty much like in theage range to watch this.
So that's number one.
Number two, John Cusack is myend all be all 80s leading man,
(04:22):
right?
Like his fast paced talking,sarcastic humor, vulnerability.
I am.
It is my jam.
It is my fucking jam.
I love it so much.
I also need you to know my lovefor Peter Gabriel is beyond
huge.
I actually walked down theaisle, everybody, to In Your
(04:44):
Eyes, classical version.
I am not even joking.
Yes, I did.
That's how much.
He's not in a church.
I got married in Mexico.
But that's how much I love PeterGabriel.
This was the beginning of myPeter Gabriel love that has now
lasted since 1989.
And yeah, like so there.
(05:06):
So I have, I'm sure, a thousandblind spots.
Right.
And to me, Lloyd Dobler, whichis a character in this, is just
a genius.
Yeah.
(05:38):
Jake Ryan was every girl's crushin 1985-86 when that came out.
But then when this came out,everybody was like, oh, Lloyd
Dobler.
Everybody wants a Lloyd.
Everybody wants a Lloyd.
And I know you and I both knownow that no, not everybody wants
a Lloyd.
There's some weird shit going onhere.
But unfortunately, in 1989, thislooked good.
(06:01):
I think that's what I have tosay.
This looked good for a guy.
SPEAKER_01 (06:06):
Part of my confusion, though, is that I
like Jonathan too.
And I thought he was attractivein this.
And I was like, oh, I totallysee the appeal.
I can see it.
But I can't quite feel it.
And like he is, he would be myvibe of whatever guy I would
imagine that I'd be attractedto.
So I can, it's overwhelming.
(06:26):
It's right there.
It's almost there.
But I think I was so confusedabout the nature of their roles
and their relationships and whyher dad took up 90 percent of
the movie.
I
SPEAKER_02 (06:39):
know.
SPEAKER_01 (06:40):
Transgressions with a lot.
It just the pieces didn't quitefit together for me.
They didn't fit together.
It's but I'm on board with John.
SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
Right.
Good.
So I will say this.
This is probably my leastfavorite episode.
or one of my least favorite ofJohn Cusack's 80s movies because
it's so heavy.
Even when I was a kid, I sawthis in the theater with my
friends and the whole dad thingand then her relationship with
her dad.
We'll get into that in a minute.
It was super weird, everybody.
(07:10):
I don't know if that'senmeshment.
I don't know what we want tocall that.
Like an emotional dependency.
Yes, there is some weird-assshit going on there.
But I remember...
Feeling, and I am probably goingto say this more than a couple
times on these episodes, is Iwas pretty naive and immature.
So I actually probably related alittle bit to Diane because
(07:32):
watching this, I was like, sheis so naive.
She is so just not ready for theworld whatsoever, which is how I
felt.
But I just remember watchingthis and not loving it when I
was in the 80s.
I loved it more now because itfelt so heavy and the father
conversation was so much.
They go to jail.
(08:02):
I feel very whipped around inthis world we're in.
(08:27):
But I want you to know I watchedit twice.
I rewatched it this morning.
And I fully see it, right?
I fully see, first of all,before we go into overall love
lessons, we do have somequestions for each other.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We do have some questions.
I think we should get to them.
And then we can go into lovelessons because I have a lot of
thoughts about...
(08:47):
the weird amount of movies inthe 80s that had these obsessive
crushes that we thought wereokay.
That's cute.
But we'll get into that, right?
Now, I think you have a questionfor me.
I have a question for you, too.
So what do you got for me?
What do you
SPEAKER_01 (09:01):
got?
Okay.
This, I think, is going to bevery telling.
So first of all, Lloyd woulddefinitely not make it as a
professional boxer.
That's not happening.
But...
SPEAKER_00 (09:10):
He's kickboxing, by the
SPEAKER_01 (09:12):
way.
Kickboxing.
Oh, that's so much better.
That's much more likely for him.
UNKNOWN (09:17):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (09:17):
If you had to date a professional athlete, what sport
would you pick?
SPEAKER_00 (09:25):
This is great.
So first of all, it would benothing where my partner was
famous, right?
I would not pick football,basketball, any of that shit.
Zero interest, right?
I'm talking like badminton,maybe curling.
Can you make a living off ofbeing a professional badminton
SPEAKER_01 (09:45):
player, Kira?
SPEAKER_00 (09:46):
You didn't say that they had to make a living off of
it.
That's true.
I'm just saying that the lastthing I want to do is watch my I
don't think the fame that comesalong with being an athlete is
very, you know, it's not goodfor relationships.
Listen, it's fucked up, right?
I'm not right.
I'm never going to encouragesomebody to date somebody who is
(10:09):
gone half of the year.
Their career is going to be theonly thing that you basically do
for years.
And the pressure, honestly, justthe pressure on athletes to
perform.
I have zero interest in that.
When people are like, I want todate somebody famous.
I'm like, I want to datesomebody not famous.
I want to date the opposite offamous because there's just so
(10:29):
much bullshit that goes alongwith that.
So I'm telling you, I would datemaybe younger version of me
would want somebody flashy.
But Kira now, I'm like, he canbe the king of Foursquare.
Right.
That's where we're at with it.
Maybe tennis?
Tennis feels like okay, right?
Because it feels a little bitmore controlled.
(10:49):
They can still make a goodliving, maybe have a life.
I don't know.
What about you?
Sorry, I'm just like talking.
What about
SPEAKER_01 (10:57):
you?
I'm loving this.
I did
SPEAKER_00 (10:58):
not expect that at
SPEAKER_01 (10:59):
all.
Tetherball?
Ping pong.
Great.
Exactly.
I think I would pick a swimmerbecause for the same reason of
like you have a little morecontrol over your profession,
your life, your training.
(11:20):
My concern with professionalathletes is the fame, the
temptations to cheat.
There's a lot of infidelity.
There's a lot of mismanagementof their own money.
It's a lot of bad situationsthey're put in.
They're traveling.
They get traded.
If you're a swimmer, you have alittle more agency over that
stellar body.
Sounds
SPEAKER_00 (11:38):
like a tree situation.
I was going to say my– so I grewup in a small town.
We certainly did not have a swimteam in small town Wisconsin.
But my college did.
And I had a couple of my goodguy friends actually were
swimmers.
So I would go to meets.
And besides the hot, humid smellof chlorine that you have to sit
(12:00):
in all day, besides that, it is–Not a bad sight.
Let's just put it that way tosit there and watch a swimming
meet.
Not a bad.
I think that's a really, reallysmart go on your part.
Yes.
Yes.
So.
One of my favorite characterswho's giving, by the way, she is
(12:21):
the opposite of a dating coach,a healthy dating coach, Corey,
who is played by Lily Taylor,one of my favorite characters of
all time.
She's like, I wrote 95 songsabout Joe and I'm going to play
every single one of themtonight.
But I feel like not in highschool, but there's maybe a
point in all of our lives wherewe like like a quote unquote bad
(12:44):
boy, which is usually justsomebody who's not emotionally
available.
And that doesn't treat us verywell.
But did you ever have a Joe inyour life?
Did you ever have a person whereyour friends were like, don't do
it?
Don't, Izzy, don't do it.
Yeah.
You're just going to get hurt.
Did you ever have that?
SPEAKER_01 (13:02):
Oh, yes.
I had a Joe.
You did?
His name was, began with thesame letter.
He was in middle school who kindof drifted into high school, but
it was classic Joe.
He's there.
He's not there.
We're together or we're notreally together.
He has a house party and doesn'tinvite me but invites everybody
else.
SPEAKER_00 (13:22):
Rude.
SPEAKER_01 (13:23):
You have to write yourself a letter freshman year
of high school that you thenopen at the end of high school
where I went.
And in my letter to myself, Iwrote about how I was dating him
and blah, blah.
It was so great.
And then you see that I cross itout and I said in the margins of
this letter, never mind.
He had a party at his house anddidn't invite me.
So you're over him right there.
(13:44):
Like, classic, classic.
He was a bad boy.
He was, like, veryanti-establishment.
He now lives maybe in ruralWisconsin, actually, and has,
like, a farm.
He, like, took a whole differentdirection from what I expected
in life.
He's got a farm.
He, like, ran for a localoffice.
So random.
SPEAKER_00 (14:05):
If you guys would have stayed together, then,
like...
In Wisconsin.
And we'd both be living inWisconsin.
This feels like.
We were so close.
It feels like a missedopportunity.
I
SPEAKER_01 (14:19):
know.
SPEAKER_00 (14:19):
We wouldn't have had that damn opportunity and you
were more than 14.
SPEAKER_01 (14:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:23):
But yeah, I just was thinking like, I feel like every
person has one person where yourfriends are like, just don't do
it.
Stop it.
Just don't do it.
Don't do it.
SPEAKER_02 (14:34):
Not
SPEAKER_00 (14:34):
good.
So any other questions?
Later, I was really lame andyoung and naive in high school
and college.
I went to I loved my collegeexperience, but there was two
women to every man.
It was not good ratios for forus ladies.
So I just didn't date a ton incollege, to be honest.
(14:55):
But once I hit cruise ship,there were some.
Oh, yeah.
And then I was drinking a lot.
So there's there's a couple oftimes where I remember like my
friends being like, all right,drunk here.
And let's just go back to yourcabin because you're making eyes
at people that you're going toregret tomorrow.
And I'd be like, I'm fine.
(15:15):
So, yeah, that definitely thatthat definitely happened.
Those are not proud moments, buthey, they all created the Kira.
So who is here?
Looking fine.
With fantastic makeup.
So there we go.
Let's get into the best andworst love lessons.
(15:37):
And I think that there'sprobably, honestly, as I
mentioned, mildly surprised athow this held up for love
lessons, right?
Maybe not some other things.
Maybe not some like...
things.
Maybe I'm really...
There's some concerns.
There's some concerns, I think,that I'm probably not even
thinking or noticing that you'regoing to bring up because I do
(16:00):
notice as I was watching thisand I just smiled the whole
fucking time, I'm like, oh, I'vegot blind spots.
Right?
Like, I've got blind spotsbecause my biggest blind spots
are for sure Lloyd Dobler, JohnCusack's character.
But yeah, I was just...
I really wished...
This movie, if it was remade,would focus on their
(16:21):
relationship.
And just like that young lovethat happens sometimes in high
school or just that's soimpactful or that's so exciting
and new, which is what I lovedthat part of it.
I think that they did thatreally, really well.
And I think that they showed areally vulnerable side in John
Cusack's character that, as Imentioned, like we did not get
(16:41):
to see.
Yeah.
Men portrayed at in the 80s.
We see that character now allthe time.
But in the 80s, like that andthen Eric Stoltz's character in
Some Kind of Wonderful, thosetwo characters are my favorite
male characters.
But they're both like sensitive,nice guys who, you
SPEAKER_01 (16:58):
know.
What?
Rewind.
You think Lloyd is a sensitive,nice guy?
SPEAKER_00 (17:07):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (17:08):
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
my God.
All right.
All right.
Teach me.
Teach me right now that– becausethis is the 80s blind spot,
right?
This is the 80s blind spot.
Now, I can't look at it throughanything but like on some level
a 16-year-old Kira, right?
It's hard for me.
Why don't you tell me right nowthe ways that Lloyd is not maybe
(17:32):
nice or healthy or the bestpotential boyfriend?
Why don't you tell all of us?
SPEAKER_01 (17:40):
when we first meet him.
And he is so rude and mean tohis sister, who's clearly gone
through a very hard time.
She's a single parent.
She's asking for a little help.
And he is so cruel in how heresponds to her.
Like, one of the meanest thingsyou can say to somebody, he just
snaps at her with and thenleaves as if it was justified.
(18:01):
He was doing her a favor byletting her know the way she is.
And I was like, what?
This is our introduction to thisman?
This is a terrible firstimpression.
I
SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
have no remembering of the scene whatsoever.
You watched it this morning,Karen.
I know, but I don't remember himbeing rude.
This is blind spots, everybody.
This is because it's likesiblings talking.
And I cannot say how much I lovefor Joan Cusack.
(18:34):
I just love her so much.
She's fantastic.
I love her so much.
But yeah, here's something I dowant to say before you go on.
He's portrayed as he's like anarmy brat.
His parents are in Germany,right?
So he's like living with hissister to finish up high school
in the state.
He's actually 19.
So he says, I'm 19.
Like, I just feel that wassuper, not super normal, but way
(18:58):
more normal than we see now,right?
Where that kind of transient ormisplacement where you'd have
somebody come into school forone year and then leave or
whatever.
I just feel like that's not thegoal of parents now.
That back then, like that waspretty regular like somebody
would be like living with theirbest friend for a year while
their parents are doingsomething or that shit I think
(19:19):
does not go down now like youjust know right but way more
common back then just way morecommon yeah we see he's living
with his sister who's goingthrough a divorce as a young kid
right like he has no supervision
SPEAKER_01 (19:34):
yeah
SPEAKER_00 (19:35):
and I think he took his roots and he placed them
underneath Diane that's what Ithink
SPEAKER_01 (19:41):
and why Why was he so obsessed with her?
He had no interactions with heras far as we know until he asks
her out to this party.
But he's been like watching herfrom afar and can't wait to find
a way to date her.
And even his friends are like,okay, what?
What is happening?
Why is this your life's goal?
(20:01):
It does feel like he's lookingfor something to ground him.
And he finds this very sweet,easily...
Manipulated, impressionableyoung girl going through a
crisis in the end with herfather.
And she just replaces one malefigure with another.
Yes, you're
SPEAKER_02 (20:19):
right.
SPEAKER_01 (20:20):
He's going to be a professional kickboxer.
This is
SPEAKER_00 (20:23):
so trivia that...
So this was written by CameronCrowe.
It's one of his earlier movies.
He created Jerry Maguire.
He created Almost Famous.
He has now created a ton ofpretty...
quintessential movies throughtime.
And this is a very cult classicand loved movie, but I'm in no
(20:45):
denial that we seemed very okay.
And I actually had a moment thismorning that I'll probably
process later of...
This is where I learned likehuge crushes or almost obsessive
crushes were okay.
This movie, Pretty in Pink,Sixteen Candles, all of these
(21:06):
are one.
Can't find me love.
Can't find me love.
All of these movies are oneperson being seemingly out of
somebody else's league, right?
The other person having tohustle and earn their worth and
their attention.
And that's the way I acted in.
through most of my 20s and 30sfor that matter.
(21:26):
And I can see this is the kindof teaching where I was taught
that was okay.
I now believe crushes are justanother way to be single.
Crushes are just another way toremain emotionally unavailable
so I didn't have to bevulnerable and try, right?
But this is a theme and we weretaught it.
(21:47):
And I think it's a big Gen Xthing, actually.
I can't believe how much I wastaught there are people out of
my league.
And so what am I going to do towin over their love?
What kind of makeover
SPEAKER_01 (21:59):
do you have to have?
Like, magical?
SPEAKER_00 (22:01):
Take your glasses off.
I will say that, like, Lloydfelt like he...
No, I can't probably defend mostof his actions.
They go to the party and he just
SPEAKER_01 (22:15):
ditches her.
They arrive at the party andhe...
But he was also
SPEAKER_00 (22:18):
the key master.
He is not.
SPEAKER_01 (22:24):
He's the key master, so he has to collect the keys.
First of all, he doesn't have tobe the key master.
If he's so intent on winning heraffection, this is his one
opportunity.
Why does he bring her to a partywhere she knows no one because
she has been reading booksinstead of socializing for four
years?
And
SPEAKER_00 (22:41):
then he just disappears.
And taking college classes andstuff like that.
Here's what I will say reallyquickly is...
I wrote down that Diane isoverprotected to the point of
like extreme naivete as well asit felt like she was forced to
fit in with adults and has noidea how to connect with people
her age, right?
Going to that party and justeven having conversations or
(23:02):
people signing her yearbook likeit was nice to finally meet you
or talk to you or whatever,right?
And it was just like, wow.
But she works at a nursing home.
She spends all her time with herdad or studying.
The world is going to be a rudewake-up call, especially 1990
London.
(23:23):
It's going to be a rude wake-upcall for her when she really
hits it because that's– you andI talked about this on this
podcast, but just this raisingwomen to be pure and naive and
how I'm watching this and I waslike, this girl is going to be
eaten alive out there.
By
SPEAKER_01 (23:44):
Lloyd.
Kira, Lloyd is going to eat youalive.
her alive lloyd has moreawareness of the world and i
feel like he's not that hewhat's the right word because i
don't want to say predator but
SPEAKER_00 (23:56):
oh my
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
god as in predator prey as in she's like a bunny
and i just feel like she's sortof like take care of me this is
going to be okay you're you'rehere for me so
SPEAKER_00 (24:07):
so if i look at this if i can step back far enough
which is very hard Very, veryhard.
Step back far enough.
Here's the stuff I see.
I see, first of all, that Lloydhas an obsessive crush.
And it's really just what hethinks she is versus who she
actually is.
That, number one, why he likesDiana, because of superficial
(24:30):
reasons.
She's pretty.
She's the golden girl, right?
So I know...
I know like why he likes her,but I do like the fact later
when he started to let or Istarted to trestle.
You know, around.
There was some really kind ofmore mature things that I know.
I'm going to let it.
(24:51):
Reaching so hard.
Thank you.
But you're right.
Like, and for that, Diane isjust, I mean, she's a year old,
you know, just like boppingaround, kind of waiting for men
to solve all of her problems.
You know, I mean, and we do haveto quickly sidestep into the
most, the biggest relationshipis In this movie, it's not her
(25:13):
lawyer, it's her dad.
Her dad who
SPEAKER_01 (25:14):
is so using her for his own needs for validation and
success.
Totally.
And lying to her, trulygaslighting her about what is
happening in their life.
There is a weird, unhealthydynamic there.
I wish she had lived with hermom or split time between the
(25:35):
two more often.
More effectively because she isjust living in her dad's world
at her dad's will.
And then to see this changewhere then he's obviously caught
for all of the fraud and then injail.
It's like her life is in totalturmoil.
And that's why I don't, I knowthat Lloyd is there, but they
barely know each other.
(25:56):
And it just feels like he's likeswooping in and she's in this
vulnerable moment and he's goingto ride her coattails of success
in the way that her dad wantedto.
Yeah.
So that's how I really feel.
SPEAKER_00 (26:07):
Wait, tell me how you really feel because I didn't
catch it.
No.
And you know what?
I don't think you're wrong.
I think that Lloyd is lost andlooking for, like I said, some
roots or some ground.
And he sees this like goldengirl, this like, if we could
figure this out, maybe.
And by the way, people do thisall the time while dating,
(26:28):
right?
We try to date what we view assomebody who is better than us
or above us or something likethat.
Just to feel right, we kind ofare looking for attractive
people because then we think,well, that it makes me look more
worthy if I'm with a moreattractive or tall or famous or
successful.
(26:48):
And none of those thingsactually create love.
None of those things createhealthy relationships.
And, you know, I think that mybiggest thing that I will say is
that I think that I give this alot of pass because it just
feels like young first love,which is there's a lot of
immaturity, a lot of mistakes, alot of superficiality, right?
Because he Unnecessary.
(27:35):
Yeah, all of it.
She is a
SPEAKER_01 (27:48):
little wife to him in a really weird, unhealthy
way.
SPEAKER_00 (28:06):
They were for her.
So not that no
SPEAKER_01 (28:09):
accountability.
SPEAKER_00 (28:10):
Right.
That's super manipulative.
That's no accountability of Idid this because I wanted to
feel good or, you know, pretendthat I was in a different place
than I was, whatever it is.
But it was just.
It's the reason this isn't oneof our 80s movies.
I mean, as much as I love PeterGabriel, as much as I love John
(28:31):
Cusack, as much as I actuallyenjoyed it even this time around
thinking, okay, that wasn't asterrible.
It's too much.
You know, just that heavy story.
It is, you know, and how thenshe finds the money and, like,
she's going and negotiating withher mom, with the IRS people.
She's like, you're just wrong.
Like, it's so odd.
(28:53):
And...
Not even odd.
Not be the daughter or like a17.
Not, you know, like she isbasically slid as his advocate,
like wife, not child.
I know.
I wish they had taken it all outand
SPEAKER_01 (29:08):
had him just be an overprotective dad who didn't
approve.
It could have stopped there andthat would have been great.
I agree.
They took it so far that.
I think it was to contrast howdifferent Lloyd is from her dad
and how he's a better choice.
But I don't see Lloyd as beingdifferent enough for me to not
be concerned that she's not justrecreating this pattern
(29:28):
immediately with another person.
So I think that was the part forme that made it difficult.
It's like, I don't see Lloyd asbeing the polar opposite of her
dad.
SPEAKER_00 (29:35):
He's probably not.
She is sliding right into thesame role of somebody, you know,
basically center of attention.
She acts like she doesn't likethat, but it's also what she
knows.
Being the center of her dad'sworld and now she's the center
of Lloyd's world.
We're talking about how longit's going to take before that
(29:58):
instant power struggle orimbalance.
Because how long is it going tobe before Lloyd does just Well,
shit, none of this is for me,right?
Like, this is all of her all thetime.
We're now going for her.
Like, what are you going to dothere?
You know, which leads us into,and I think there is probably,
I'm sure you have thoughts of,will they make it?
SPEAKER_01 (30:23):
Kira, I don't want to break any hearts here, but,
like, in no world do they makeit.
Or if they do, it's unhealthy.
No, they really don't.
They're so young.
Yeah, they're way too young andexperienced.
Right?
They have so much life to live,so many challenges to encounter.
And if they stay together, Ijust don't think it'll be the
healthiest relationship.
SPEAKER_00 (30:45):
I don't because they're so immature and because
the power imbalance is so large.
And because I think both of themhave an extreme amount of time
to do right.
As most of us do at 19 or 19years old.
Right.
Not just the two people in thismovie.
Yeah, I think there is.
I think here's what I thinkwould happen is.
Yes, yes.
(31:20):
And then, but yeah, I fullyagree.
Because to me, all the passes Igave this was just because
young, dumb love, right?
Like, I'm just like, at thatfirst, like, we're not making
sense.
Hormones are running the show.
SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
We're so overwhelmed.
100%.
Which isn't lovely.
Which is fun.
I will say that first lovefeeling that is like consumes
you and makes you feel crazybecause you are so obsessed with
them.
There's something so cute andlovely and fun about that.
It's less cute when you've beenmarried for five years and you
haven't had a chance to grow andchange and be autonomous.
(31:55):
So yeah, I agree.
If they split, they do somegrowing, they do some of their
own work around their parentissues, right?
Like being lied to andmanipulated and neglected and
abandoned.
And then they come backtogether.
Great.
SPEAKER_00 (32:09):
So if they were our clients, do you have any
thoughts?
Lloyd ain't ready.
He
SPEAKER_01 (32:17):
has got so much work to do on self-awareness and he
doesn't respect boundaries.
The boombox thing is like cute,but it's not.
She has.
I mean, but it's kind of cute.
I don't think that it is.
She was not interested.
He's reactive.
And he was him driving aroundthat car.
I know.
(32:37):
And I.
SPEAKER_00 (32:39):
When he was talking to himself, I just thought that
was like a scene of where he'slike, and there is not where she
broke up with me.
I gave her my heart.
She gave me a pen, which is avery sick line in this movie.
But no, both of them, the...
A lot of maturity, a lot of moreexperience, and a lot more just
(33:01):
finding who the heck they wantto be without each other before
they can figure out who theyare.
And we got time.
I do have some really fun factsbecause obviously this movie is
very old, but we have a lot offacts.
So I gave her my heart and shegave me a pen and was voted the
73 of the 100 greatest movielines ever.
Wow.
The dojo featured in this movie,so where he was kickboxing, is
(33:25):
also the same dojo where the kidwas shot.
I love that.
During the iconic scene of Lloydholding the boombox over his
head, the actual song that wasbeing played during the filming
was another song that was byFishbone.
And then...
In Your Eyes was added inpost-production.
Interesting.
(33:45):
So they actually went through ahandful of songs before they
settled on In Your Eyes.
And lots of people wereconsidered for Lloyd, Christian
Slater.
SPEAKER_01 (33:55):
Okay, then I would have loved this movie.
Then I would have had no issueswith it.
SPEAKER_00 (33:59):
Oh.
Yeah.
Christian Slater.
Hello, everybody.
Ready?
Robert Dottie Jr.
turned it down.
What?
UNKNOWN (34:09):
What?
SPEAKER_00 (34:10):
Kirk Cameron, do you even know who that is?
Kirk Cameron, yeah, you don'tneed to
SPEAKER_02 (34:14):
either,
SPEAKER_00 (34:15):
was considered, who was like at the time, and a
couple of other people.
And then Jennifer Connelly also,I don't know if you know who
that is.
She was, I think she actuallywould have.
And then Elizabeth Shue was alsoconsidered.
It's popular.
But I will say for...
(34:36):
All of my other like 70s, 80s,like teen years people out
there, everybody has to agreethat this is like two of the
women, two of the Heathers fromthe movie Heathers, this movie,
Pamela Adlon, who is now gone.
China Phillips, who went on to,do you know who China Phillips
(34:58):
is?
I got nothing.
Pamela Adlon.
I know there's pain.
Why do you lock yourself up inthese chains?
She went on to...
I don't, but you sang it sobeautifully.
Thank you.
Wow.
Hold On by Wilson Phillips.
That's Chyna Phillips.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (35:18):
Yikes.
SPEAKER_00 (35:19):
This is heartbreaking, everybody.
She does not know this, so thisis heartbreaking.
I will be remedying this on theother side.
There's just a lot of earlyactors, that kind of thing.
And I will say...
The guy who they find him in thetoilet, kind of the cool, like,
alternative guy, that is BarbraStreisand.
Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_01 (35:40):
That's so random.
SPEAKER_00 (35:42):
Yes, yes, yes.
And Julia Roberts was alsoconsidered for a minor role in
this because she was juststarting her career.
Whoa.
Popular movie.
I know.
It was actually a pretty bigmovie.
I think in some ways it stillholds up for an 80s movie.
Right.
Do I think that this is teachingthe love lessons that we see
(36:04):
now?
Fuck no.
Do I think that like I'm happythere wasn't more disgustingness
that I see in the 80s
SPEAKER_01 (36:12):
movies?
But see, this also highlightsthat if you watch a movie during
a formative time, whether it'syour adolescence or post breakup
or whatever, it can lodge itselfin your heart and become a
wonderful thing that you'rewilling to overlook the bad
lessons for.
Because if we watch Overboard...
Right.
I fully
SPEAKER_00 (36:46):
understand that.
And I think that it's...
I think it's good.
I think it's good that we comeon here and talk about realistic
stuff.
Like, I can notice that he'spretty unboundaried in this,
that I feel like she is justyoung, naive and mixed messages.
Like, she doesn't know what shewants.
She's virtually living foreverybody else in her life but
her.
They have a lot of growing up todo.
(37:07):
I still love my rating foroverall tacos.
It was poor.
Like I said, this was notactually my favorite, but it
made me happy.
Love lessons.
I'm going to say a I don't know.
Oh, my God.
That's maybe ridiculous.
I don't know.
I'm not looking up at that.
You know what?
We went into this knowing wewere going to be on
SPEAKER_01 (37:28):
different sides of the coin.
I...
Yes.
I gave it a two overall.
I gotta say, I did not enjoy it.
I do not want to watch it again.
And for love lessons, and maybethis is too harsh, I gave it a
one.
I had a hard time finding goodlessons in this movie.
But again, like, That might befair.
(37:51):
With my disclaimer that I haveno emotional attachment to this
movie.
SPEAKER_00 (37:54):
I get it.
I get it.
All right, guys.
That is a wrap on our firstepisode for our 80s series.
What did you think?
Do you love Say Anything?
Are you blind to all of thequestionable things like I was?
Did you notice all of the issueslike Izzy did?
(38:15):
Let us know.
SPEAKER_01 (38:18):
Tell us what you think.
We are dying to hear from you.
Was this relationship goals or,I think, total disaster?
You can vote in our Instagrampolls or DM us your hot takes.
SPEAKER_00 (38:29):
Next week, we are going to be continuing the 80s
series with Can't Buy Me Love.
Woohoo! With Patrick Dempsey andthe rest in peace Amanda
Peterson.
Make sure...
That's sad, but yes.
SPEAKER_01 (38:44):
Make sure to follow, subscribe, and leave a review if
you love Bye, guys.
See you soon.
Oh, you're funny.
Bye.
That's right, welcome to our 80s series, Big
Hair, Big Hopes, 80s Rom-ComRewind.
This week we are breaking down1989 Rom-Com with Ione Skye and
John Cusack, Say Anything,currently streaming on Hulu.
SPEAKER_00 (00:20):
Welcome to the Rom-Com Rescue Podcast, a brand
new podcast where we bring thelove and life lessons from your
favorite rom-coms.
I'm Kira Saban.
I'm a healthy dating educator, acertified coach, and a positive
psychology practitioner.
But more importantly, I spend mydays teaching the skills and
mindsets of dating.
SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
And I'm Dr.
Isabel Morley.
I'm a licensed clinicalpsychologist and an
EFT-certified couples therapist,and I help couples have the
happiest, healthiestrelationship possible.
Join us weekly as we break downthe best love lessons from your
favorite rom-coms so we can allget into the best relationships
possible, because we believethat we create our own happily
(00:59):
ever afters.
SPEAKER_00 (01:17):
Welcome back.
We are officially back and we'renot just back.
We are back with a series.
It is summer break and we'vedecided to go back to the 80s
and spend at least the next fourepisodes, maybe more, breaking
down some of the best 80srom-coms.
(01:37):
And that's questionable.
I'm not going to lie.
Best 80s rom-coms still havequestionable lessons, but we're
going to have fun with it.
And if you come over to YouTubeor check us out on Instagram,
you will see we are in fullcostume right now.
It is fantastic.
It's a lot.
Please come on over and see usbut let's get into this because
(02:00):
I mean I have I have so much tosay because this is part of my
childhood, teen years, world,and you're just like, what the
fuck was this
SPEAKER_01 (02:16):
movie?
I'm so confused.
Let's go, let's
SPEAKER_00 (02:18):
go.
Tell me what you thought.
The best part of
SPEAKER_01 (02:21):
our series is that you've seen these movies, they
mean something to you.
I've seen none of them.
I'm coming in blind.
Here's the one thing that I'llsay.
I left this movie thinking, whatjust happened?
And I still don't know.
I am not sure.
(02:42):
I was so lost the entire time.
Like it's supposed to be lightand funny and there was some
funny moments, but then it waslike very serious.
Lloyd is in the scary montage,driving around, talking to
himself.
And I also wasn't sure.
I also wasn't sure whateverybody's role was like.
Okay.
So she's smart and bookish.
(03:03):
And I even out of touch with theteen world, but was he Kira?
Was he cool?
Is he not cool?
I think he's just Lloyd.
What's that?
For a second, I thought he waslike the cool kid who was
bringing in the nerd into thegroup.
Then I was like, oh, but maybehe's not cool at all either.
And why is he obsessed with her?
SPEAKER_00 (03:24):
So when I say, what is your overall takeaway?
You're like, huh?
What was this?
SPEAKER_01 (03:30):
And I'm waiting for the boombox scene.
Because I've heard about it mywhole life.
I'm waiting for this boombox
SPEAKER_00 (03:38):
scene.
Right, right, right.
It's a very classic scene.
SPEAKER_01 (03:40):
I'm imagining she goes to the window.
Oh, look, it's amazing.
Runs out into the grass to hughim.
The boombox scene leads tonothing.
He just stands there and does itand she ignores him.
And then it goes to the nextscene, Kira.
I was so confused.
Why is everyone obsessed withthe boombox scene?
SPEAKER_00 (03:59):
Okay, well, so let me preface a couple of things
here.
Number one...
So this came out in 1989.
I was 16 when this came out.
So I was pretty much like in theage range to watch this.
So that's number one.
Number two, John Cusack is myend all be all 80s leading man,
(04:22):
right?
Like his fast paced talking,sarcastic humor, vulnerability.
I am.
It is my jam.
It is my fucking jam.
I love it so much.
I also need you to know my lovefor Peter Gabriel is beyond
huge.
I actually walked down theaisle, everybody, to In Your
(04:44):
Eyes, classical version.
I am not even joking.
Yes, I did.
That's how much.
He's not in a church.
I got married in Mexico.
But that's how much I love PeterGabriel.
This was the beginning of myPeter Gabriel love that has now
lasted since 1989.
And yeah, like so there.
(05:06):
So I have, I'm sure, a thousandblind spots.
Right.
And to me, Lloyd Dobler, whichis a character in this, is just
a genius.
Yeah.
(05:38):
Jake Ryan was every girl's crushin 1985-86 when that came out.
But then when this came out,everybody was like, oh, Lloyd
Dobler.
Everybody wants a Lloyd.
Everybody wants a Lloyd.
And I know you and I both knownow that no, not everybody wants
a Lloyd.
There's some weird shit going onhere.
But unfortunately, in 1989, thislooked good.
(06:01):
I think that's what I have tosay.
This looked good for a guy.
SPEAKER_01 (06:06):
Part of my confusion, though, is that I
like Jonathan too.
And I thought he was attractivein this.
And I was like, oh, I totallysee the appeal.
I can see it.
But I can't quite feel it.
And like he is, he would be myvibe of whatever guy I would
imagine that I'd be attractedto.
So I can, it's overwhelming.
(06:26):
It's right there.
It's almost there.
But I think I was so confusedabout the nature of their roles
and their relationships and whyher dad took up 90 percent of
the movie.
I
SPEAKER_02 (06:39):
know.
SPEAKER_01 (06:40):
Transgressions with a lot.
It just the pieces didn't quitefit together for me.
They didn't fit together.
It's but I'm on board with John.
SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
Right.
Good.
So I will say this.
This is probably my leastfavorite episode.
or one of my least favorite ofJohn Cusack's 80s movies because
it's so heavy.
Even when I was a kid, I sawthis in the theater with my
friends and the whole dad thingand then her relationship with
her dad.
We'll get into that in a minute.
It was super weird, everybody.
(07:10):
I don't know if that'senmeshment.
I don't know what we want tocall that.
Like an emotional dependency.
Yes, there is some weird-assshit going on there.
But I remember...
Feeling, and I am probably goingto say this more than a couple
times on these episodes, is Iwas pretty naive and immature.
So I actually probably related alittle bit to Diane because
(07:32):
watching this, I was like, sheis so naive.
She is so just not ready for theworld whatsoever, which is how I
felt.
But I just remember watchingthis and not loving it when I
was in the 80s.
I loved it more now because itfelt so heavy and the father
conversation was so much.
They go to jail.
(08:02):
I feel very whipped around inthis world we're in.
(08:27):
But I want you to know I watchedit twice.
I rewatched it this morning.
And I fully see it, right?
I fully see, first of all,before we go into overall love
lessons, we do have somequestions for each other.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We do have some questions.
I think we should get to them.
And then we can go into lovelessons because I have a lot of
thoughts about...
(08:47):
the weird amount of movies inthe 80s that had these obsessive
crushes that we thought wereokay.
That's cute.
But we'll get into that, right?
Now, I think you have a questionfor me.
I have a question for you, too.
So what do you got for me?
What do you
SPEAKER_01 (09:01):
got?
Okay.
This, I think, is going to bevery telling.
So first of all, Lloyd woulddefinitely not make it as a
professional boxer.
That's not happening.
But...
SPEAKER_00 (09:10):
He's kickboxing, by the
SPEAKER_01 (09:12):
way.
Kickboxing.
Oh, that's so much better.
That's much more likely for him.
UNKNOWN (09:17):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (09:17):
If you had to date a professional athlete, what sport
would you pick?
SPEAKER_00 (09:25):
This is great.
So first of all, it would benothing where my partner was
famous, right?
I would not pick football,basketball, any of that shit.
Zero interest, right?
I'm talking like badminton,maybe curling.
Can you make a living off ofbeing a professional badminton
SPEAKER_01 (09:45):
player, Kira?
SPEAKER_00 (09:46):
You didn't say that they had to make a living off of
it.
That's true.
I'm just saying that the lastthing I want to do is watch my I
don't think the fame that comesalong with being an athlete is
very, you know, it's not goodfor relationships.
Listen, it's fucked up, right?
I'm not right.
I'm never going to encouragesomebody to date somebody who is
(10:09):
gone half of the year.
Their career is going to be theonly thing that you basically do
for years.
And the pressure, honestly, justthe pressure on athletes to
perform.
I have zero interest in that.
When people are like, I want todate somebody famous.
I'm like, I want to datesomebody not famous.
I want to date the opposite offamous because there's just so
(10:29):
much bullshit that goes alongwith that.
So I'm telling you, I would datemaybe younger version of me
would want somebody flashy.
But Kira now, I'm like, he canbe the king of Foursquare.
Right.
That's where we're at with it.
Maybe tennis?
Tennis feels like okay, right?
Because it feels a little bitmore controlled.
(10:49):
They can still make a goodliving, maybe have a life.
I don't know.
What about you?
Sorry, I'm just like talking.
What about
SPEAKER_01 (10:57):
you?
I'm loving this.
I did
SPEAKER_00 (10:58):
not expect that at
SPEAKER_01 (10:59):
all.
Tetherball?
Ping pong.
Great.
Exactly.
I think I would pick a swimmerbecause for the same reason of
like you have a little morecontrol over your profession,
your life, your training.
(11:20):
My concern with professionalathletes is the fame, the
temptations to cheat.
There's a lot of infidelity.
There's a lot of mismanagementof their own money.
It's a lot of bad situationsthey're put in.
They're traveling.
They get traded.
If you're a swimmer, you have alittle more agency over that
stellar body.
Sounds
SPEAKER_00 (11:38):
like a tree situation.
I was going to say my– so I grewup in a small town.
We certainly did not have a swimteam in small town Wisconsin.
But my college did.
And I had a couple of my goodguy friends actually were
swimmers.
So I would go to meets.
And besides the hot, humid smellof chlorine that you have to sit
(12:00):
in all day, besides that, it is–Not a bad sight.
Let's just put it that way tosit there and watch a swimming
meet.
Not a bad.
I think that's a really, reallysmart go on your part.
Yes.
Yes.
So.
One of my favorite characterswho's giving, by the way, she is
(12:21):
the opposite of a dating coach,a healthy dating coach, Corey,
who is played by Lily Taylor,one of my favorite characters of
all time.
She's like, I wrote 95 songsabout Joe and I'm going to play
every single one of themtonight.
But I feel like not in highschool, but there's maybe a
point in all of our lives wherewe like like a quote unquote bad
(12:44):
boy, which is usually justsomebody who's not emotionally
available.
And that doesn't treat us verywell.
But did you ever have a Joe inyour life?
Did you ever have a person whereyour friends were like, don't do
it?
Don't, Izzy, don't do it.
Yeah.
You're just going to get hurt.
Did you ever have that?
SPEAKER_01 (13:02):
Oh, yes.
I had a Joe.
You did?
His name was, began with thesame letter.
He was in middle school who kindof drifted into high school, but
it was classic Joe.
He's there.
He's not there.
We're together or we're notreally together.
He has a house party and doesn'tinvite me but invites everybody
else.
SPEAKER_00 (13:22):
Rude.
SPEAKER_01 (13:23):
You have to write yourself a letter freshman year
of high school that you thenopen at the end of high school
where I went.
And in my letter to myself, Iwrote about how I was dating him
and blah, blah.
It was so great.
And then you see that I cross itout and I said in the margins of
this letter, never mind.
He had a party at his house anddidn't invite me.
So you're over him right there.
(13:44):
Like, classic, classic.
He was a bad boy.
He was, like, veryanti-establishment.
He now lives maybe in ruralWisconsin, actually, and has,
like, a farm.
He, like, took a whole differentdirection from what I expected
in life.
He's got a farm.
He, like, ran for a localoffice.
So random.
SPEAKER_00 (14:05):
If you guys would have stayed together, then,
like...
In Wisconsin.
And we'd both be living inWisconsin.
This feels like.
We were so close.
It feels like a missedopportunity.
I
SPEAKER_01 (14:19):
know.
SPEAKER_00 (14:19):
We wouldn't have had that damn opportunity and you
were more than 14.
SPEAKER_01 (14:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (14:23):
But yeah, I just was thinking like, I feel like every
person has one person where yourfriends are like, just don't do
it.
Stop it.
Just don't do it.
Don't do it.
SPEAKER_02 (14:34):
Not
SPEAKER_00 (14:34):
good.
So any other questions?
Later, I was really lame andyoung and naive in high school
and college.
I went to I loved my collegeexperience, but there was two
women to every man.
It was not good ratios for forus ladies.
So I just didn't date a ton incollege, to be honest.
(14:55):
But once I hit cruise ship,there were some.
Oh, yeah.
And then I was drinking a lot.
So there's there's a couple oftimes where I remember like my
friends being like, all right,drunk here.
And let's just go back to yourcabin because you're making eyes
at people that you're going toregret tomorrow.
And I'd be like, I'm fine.
(15:15):
So, yeah, that definitely thatthat definitely happened.
Those are not proud moments, buthey, they all created the Kira.
So who is here?
Looking fine.
With fantastic makeup.
So there we go.
Let's get into the best andworst love lessons.
(15:37):
And I think that there'sprobably, honestly, as I
mentioned, mildly surprised athow this held up for love
lessons, right?
Maybe not some other things.
Maybe not some like...
things.
Maybe I'm really...
There's some concerns.
There's some concerns, I think,that I'm probably not even
thinking or noticing that you'regoing to bring up because I do
(16:00):
notice as I was watching thisand I just smiled the whole
fucking time, I'm like, oh, I'vegot blind spots.
Right?
Like, I've got blind spotsbecause my biggest blind spots
are for sure Lloyd Dobler, JohnCusack's character.
But yeah, I was just...
I really wished...
This movie, if it was remade,would focus on their
(16:21):
relationship.
And just like that young lovethat happens sometimes in high
school or just that's soimpactful or that's so exciting
and new, which is what I lovedthat part of it.
I think that they did thatreally, really well.
And I think that they showed areally vulnerable side in John
Cusack's character that, as Imentioned, like we did not get
(16:41):
to see.
Yeah.
Men portrayed at in the 80s.
We see that character now allthe time.
But in the 80s, like that andthen Eric Stoltz's character in
Some Kind of Wonderful, thosetwo characters are my favorite
male characters.
But they're both like sensitive,nice guys who, you
SPEAKER_01 (16:58):
know.
What?
Rewind.
You think Lloyd is a sensitive,nice guy?
SPEAKER_00 (17:07):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (17:08):
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
my God.
All right.
All right.
Teach me.
Teach me right now that– becausethis is the 80s blind spot,
right?
This is the 80s blind spot.
Now, I can't look at it throughanything but like on some level
a 16-year-old Kira, right?
It's hard for me.
Why don't you tell me right nowthe ways that Lloyd is not maybe
(17:32):
nice or healthy or the bestpotential boyfriend?
Why don't you tell all of us?
SPEAKER_01 (17:40):
when we first meet him.
And he is so rude and mean tohis sister, who's clearly gone
through a very hard time.
She's a single parent.
She's asking for a little help.
And he is so cruel in how heresponds to her.
Like, one of the meanest thingsyou can say to somebody, he just
snaps at her with and thenleaves as if it was justified.
(18:01):
He was doing her a favor byletting her know the way she is.
And I was like, what?
This is our introduction to thisman?
This is a terrible firstimpression.
I
SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
have no remembering of the scene whatsoever.
You watched it this morning,Karen.
I know, but I don't remember himbeing rude.
This is blind spots, everybody.
This is because it's likesiblings talking.
And I cannot say how much I lovefor Joan Cusack.
(18:34):
I just love her so much.
She's fantastic.
I love her so much.
But yeah, here's something I dowant to say before you go on.
He's portrayed as he's like anarmy brat.
His parents are in Germany,right?
So he's like living with hissister to finish up high school
in the state.
He's actually 19.
So he says, I'm 19.
Like, I just feel that wassuper, not super normal, but way
(18:58):
more normal than we see now,right?
Where that kind of transient ormisplacement where you'd have
somebody come into school forone year and then leave or
whatever.
I just feel like that's not thegoal of parents now.
That back then, like that waspretty regular like somebody
would be like living with theirbest friend for a year while
their parents are doingsomething or that shit I think
(19:19):
does not go down now like youjust know right but way more
common back then just way morecommon yeah we see he's living
with his sister who's goingthrough a divorce as a young kid
right like he has no supervision
SPEAKER_01 (19:34):
yeah
SPEAKER_00 (19:35):
and I think he took his roots and he placed them
underneath Diane that's what Ithink
SPEAKER_01 (19:41):
and why Why was he so obsessed with her?
He had no interactions with heras far as we know until he asks
her out to this party.
But he's been like watching herfrom afar and can't wait to find
a way to date her.
And even his friends are like,okay, what?
What is happening?
Why is this your life's goal?
(20:01):
It does feel like he's lookingfor something to ground him.
And he finds this very sweet,easily...
Manipulated, impressionableyoung girl going through a
crisis in the end with herfather.
And she just replaces one malefigure with another.
Yes, you're
SPEAKER_02 (20:19):
right.
SPEAKER_01 (20:20):
He's going to be a professional kickboxer.
This is
SPEAKER_00 (20:23):
so trivia that...
So this was written by CameronCrowe.
It's one of his earlier movies.
He created Jerry Maguire.
He created Almost Famous.
He has now created a ton ofpretty...
quintessential movies throughtime.
And this is a very cult classicand loved movie, but I'm in no
(20:45):
denial that we seemed very okay.
And I actually had a moment thismorning that I'll probably
process later of...
This is where I learned likehuge crushes or almost obsessive
crushes were okay.
This movie, Pretty in Pink,Sixteen Candles, all of these
(21:06):
are one.
Can't find me love.
Can't find me love.
All of these movies are oneperson being seemingly out of
somebody else's league, right?
The other person having tohustle and earn their worth and
their attention.
And that's the way I acted in.
through most of my 20s and 30sfor that matter.
(21:26):
And I can see this is the kindof teaching where I was taught
that was okay.
I now believe crushes are justanother way to be single.
Crushes are just another way toremain emotionally unavailable
so I didn't have to bevulnerable and try, right?
But this is a theme and we weretaught it.
(21:47):
And I think it's a big Gen Xthing, actually.
I can't believe how much I wastaught there are people out of
my league.
And so what am I going to do towin over their love?
What kind of makeover
SPEAKER_01 (21:59):
do you have to have?
Like, magical?
SPEAKER_00 (22:01):
Take your glasses off.
I will say that, like, Lloydfelt like he...
No, I can't probably defend mostof his actions.
They go to the party and he just
SPEAKER_01 (22:15):
ditches her.
They arrive at the party andhe...
But he was also
SPEAKER_00 (22:18):
the key master.
He is not.
SPEAKER_01 (22:24):
He's the key master, so he has to collect the keys.
First of all, he doesn't have tobe the key master.
If he's so intent on winning heraffection, this is his one
opportunity.
Why does he bring her to a partywhere she knows no one because
she has been reading booksinstead of socializing for four
years?
And
SPEAKER_00 (22:41):
then he just disappears.
And taking college classes andstuff like that.
Here's what I will say reallyquickly is...
I wrote down that Diane isoverprotected to the point of
like extreme naivete as well asit felt like she was forced to
fit in with adults and has noidea how to connect with people
her age, right?
Going to that party and justeven having conversations or
(23:02):
people signing her yearbook likeit was nice to finally meet you
or talk to you or whatever,right?
And it was just like, wow.
But she works at a nursing home.
She spends all her time with herdad or studying.
The world is going to be a rudewake-up call, especially 1990
London.
(23:23):
It's going to be a rude wake-upcall for her when she really
hits it because that's– you andI talked about this on this
podcast, but just this raisingwomen to be pure and naive and
how I'm watching this and I waslike, this girl is going to be
eaten alive out there.
By
SPEAKER_01 (23:44):
Lloyd.
Kira, Lloyd is going to eat youalive.
her alive lloyd has moreawareness of the world and i
feel like he's not that hewhat's the right word because i
don't want to say predator but
SPEAKER_00 (23:56):
oh my
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
god as in predator prey as in she's like a bunny
and i just feel like she's sortof like take care of me this is
going to be okay you're you'rehere for me so
SPEAKER_00 (24:07):
so if i look at this if i can step back far enough
which is very hard Very, veryhard.
Step back far enough.
Here's the stuff I see.
I see, first of all, that Lloydhas an obsessive crush.
And it's really just what hethinks she is versus who she
actually is.
That, number one, why he likesDiana, because of superficial
(24:30):
reasons.
She's pretty.
She's the golden girl, right?
So I know...
I know like why he likes her,but I do like the fact later
when he started to let or Istarted to trestle.
You know, around.
There was some really kind ofmore mature things that I know.
I'm going to let it.
(24:51):
Reaching so hard.
Thank you.
But you're right.
Like, and for that, Diane isjust, I mean, she's a year old,
you know, just like boppingaround, kind of waiting for men
to solve all of her problems.
You know, I mean, and we do haveto quickly sidestep into the
most, the biggest relationshipis In this movie, it's not her
(25:13):
lawyer, it's her dad.
Her dad who
SPEAKER_01 (25:14):
is so using her for his own needs for validation and
success.
Totally.
And lying to her, trulygaslighting her about what is
happening in their life.
There is a weird, unhealthydynamic there.
I wish she had lived with hermom or split time between the
(25:35):
two more often.
More effectively because she isjust living in her dad's world
at her dad's will.
And then to see this changewhere then he's obviously caught
for all of the fraud and then injail.
It's like her life is in totalturmoil.
And that's why I don't, I knowthat Lloyd is there, but they
barely know each other.
(25:56):
And it just feels like he's likeswooping in and she's in this
vulnerable moment and he's goingto ride her coattails of success
in the way that her dad wantedto.
Yeah.
So that's how I really feel.
SPEAKER_00 (26:07):
Wait, tell me how you really feel because I didn't
catch it.
No.
And you know what?
I don't think you're wrong.
I think that Lloyd is lost andlooking for, like I said, some
roots or some ground.
And he sees this like goldengirl, this like, if we could
figure this out, maybe.
And by the way, people do thisall the time while dating,
(26:28):
right?
We try to date what we view assomebody who is better than us
or above us or something likethat.
Just to feel right, we kind ofare looking for attractive
people because then we think,well, that it makes me look more
worthy if I'm with a moreattractive or tall or famous or
successful.
(26:48):
And none of those thingsactually create love.
None of those things createhealthy relationships.
And, you know, I think that mybiggest thing that I will say is
that I think that I give this alot of pass because it just
feels like young first love,which is there's a lot of
immaturity, a lot of mistakes, alot of superficiality, right?
Because he Unnecessary.
(27:35):
Yeah, all of it.
She is a
SPEAKER_01 (27:48):
little wife to him in a really weird, unhealthy
way.
SPEAKER_00 (28:06):
They were for her.
So not that no
SPEAKER_01 (28:09):
accountability.
SPEAKER_00 (28:10):
Right.
That's super manipulative.
That's no accountability of Idid this because I wanted to
feel good or, you know, pretendthat I was in a different place
than I was, whatever it is.
But it was just.
It's the reason this isn't oneof our 80s movies.
I mean, as much as I love PeterGabriel, as much as I love John
(28:31):
Cusack, as much as I actuallyenjoyed it even this time around
thinking, okay, that wasn't asterrible.
It's too much.
You know, just that heavy story.
It is, you know, and how thenshe finds the money and, like,
she's going and negotiating withher mom, with the IRS people.
She's like, you're just wrong.
Like, it's so odd.
(28:53):
And...
Not even odd.
Not be the daughter or like a17.
Not, you know, like she isbasically slid as his advocate,
like wife, not child.
I know.
I wish they had taken it all outand
SPEAKER_01 (29:08):
had him just be an overprotective dad who didn't
approve.
It could have stopped there andthat would have been great.
I agree.
They took it so far that.
I think it was to contrast howdifferent Lloyd is from her dad
and how he's a better choice.
But I don't see Lloyd as beingdifferent enough for me to not
be concerned that she's not justrecreating this pattern
(29:28):
immediately with another person.
So I think that was the part forme that made it difficult.
It's like, I don't see Lloyd asbeing the polar opposite of her
dad.
SPEAKER_00 (29:35):
He's probably not.
She is sliding right into thesame role of somebody, you know,
basically center of attention.
She acts like she doesn't likethat, but it's also what she
knows.
Being the center of her dad'sworld and now she's the center
of Lloyd's world.
We're talking about how longit's going to take before that
(29:58):
instant power struggle orimbalance.
Because how long is it going tobe before Lloyd does just Well,
shit, none of this is for me,right?
Like, this is all of her all thetime.
We're now going for her.
Like, what are you going to dothere?
You know, which leads us into,and I think there is probably,
I'm sure you have thoughts of,will they make it?
SPEAKER_01 (30:23):
Kira, I don't want to break any hearts here, but,
like, in no world do they makeit.
Or if they do, it's unhealthy.
No, they really don't.
They're so young.
Yeah, they're way too young andexperienced.
Right?
They have so much life to live,so many challenges to encounter.
And if they stay together, Ijust don't think it'll be the
healthiest relationship.
SPEAKER_00 (30:45):
I don't because they're so immature and because
the power imbalance is so large.
And because I think both of themhave an extreme amount of time
to do right.
As most of us do at 19 or 19years old.
Right.
Not just the two people in thismovie.
Yeah, I think there is.
I think here's what I thinkwould happen is.
Yes, yes.
(31:20):
And then, but yeah, I fullyagree.
Because to me, all the passes Igave this was just because
young, dumb love, right?
Like, I'm just like, at thatfirst, like, we're not making
sense.
Hormones are running the show.
SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
We're so overwhelmed.
100%.
Which isn't lovely.
Which is fun.
I will say that first lovefeeling that is like consumes
you and makes you feel crazybecause you are so obsessed with
them.
There's something so cute andlovely and fun about that.
It's less cute when you've beenmarried for five years and you
haven't had a chance to grow andchange and be autonomous.
(31:55):
So yeah, I agree.
If they split, they do somegrowing, they do some of their
own work around their parentissues, right?
Like being lied to andmanipulated and neglected and
abandoned.
And then they come backtogether.
Great.
SPEAKER_00 (32:09):
So if they were our clients, do you have any
thoughts?
Lloyd ain't ready.
He
SPEAKER_01 (32:17):
has got so much work to do on self-awareness and he
doesn't respect boundaries.
The boombox thing is like cute,but it's not.
She has.
I mean, but it's kind of cute.
I don't think that it is.
She was not interested.
He's reactive.
And he was him driving aroundthat car.
I know.
(32:37):
And I.
SPEAKER_00 (32:39):
When he was talking to himself, I just thought that
was like a scene of where he'slike, and there is not where she
broke up with me.
I gave her my heart.
She gave me a pen, which is avery sick line in this movie.
But no, both of them, the...
A lot of maturity, a lot of moreexperience, and a lot more just
(33:01):
finding who the heck they wantto be without each other before
they can figure out who theyare.
And we got time.
I do have some really fun factsbecause obviously this movie is
very old, but we have a lot offacts.
So I gave her my heart and shegave me a pen and was voted the
73 of the 100 greatest movielines ever.
Wow.
The dojo featured in this movie,so where he was kickboxing, is
(33:25):
also the same dojo where the kidwas shot.
I love that.
During the iconic scene of Lloydholding the boombox over his
head, the actual song that wasbeing played during the filming
was another song that was byFishbone.
And then...
In Your Eyes was added inpost-production.
Interesting.
(33:45):
So they actually went through ahandful of songs before they
settled on In Your Eyes.
And lots of people wereconsidered for Lloyd, Christian
Slater.
SPEAKER_01 (33:55):
Okay, then I would have loved this movie.
Then I would have had no issueswith it.
SPEAKER_00 (33:59):
Oh.
Yeah.
Christian Slater.
Hello, everybody.
Ready?
Robert Dottie Jr.
turned it down.
What?
UNKNOWN (34:09):
What?
SPEAKER_00 (34:10):
Kirk Cameron, do you even know who that is?
Kirk Cameron, yeah, you don'tneed to
SPEAKER_02 (34:14):
either,
SPEAKER_00 (34:15):
was considered, who was like at the time, and a
couple of other people.
And then Jennifer Connelly also,I don't know if you know who
that is.
She was, I think she actuallywould have.
And then Elizabeth Shue was alsoconsidered.
It's popular.
But I will say for...
(34:36):
All of my other like 70s, 80s,like teen years people out
there, everybody has to agreethat this is like two of the
women, two of the Heathers fromthe movie Heathers, this movie,
Pamela Adlon, who is now gone.
China Phillips, who went on to,do you know who China Phillips
(34:58):
is?
I got nothing.
Pamela Adlon.
I know there's pain.
Why do you lock yourself up inthese chains?
She went on to...
I don't, but you sang it sobeautifully.
Thank you.
Wow.
Hold On by Wilson Phillips.
That's Chyna Phillips.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (35:18):
Yikes.
SPEAKER_00 (35:19):
This is heartbreaking, everybody.
She does not know this, so thisis heartbreaking.
I will be remedying this on theother side.
There's just a lot of earlyactors, that kind of thing.
And I will say...
The guy who they find him in thetoilet, kind of the cool, like,
alternative guy, that is BarbraStreisand.
Oh, my God.
SPEAKER_01 (35:40):
That's so random.
SPEAKER_00 (35:42):
Yes, yes, yes.
And Julia Roberts was alsoconsidered for a minor role in
this because she was juststarting her career.
Whoa.
Popular movie.
I know.
It was actually a pretty bigmovie.
I think in some ways it stillholds up for an 80s movie.
Right.
Do I think that this is teachingthe love lessons that we see
(36:04):
now?
Fuck no.
Do I think that like I'm happythere wasn't more disgustingness
that I see in the 80s
SPEAKER_01 (36:12):
movies?
But see, this also highlightsthat if you watch a movie during
a formative time, whether it'syour adolescence or post breakup
or whatever, it can lodge itselfin your heart and become a
wonderful thing that you'rewilling to overlook the bad
lessons for.
Because if we watch Overboard...
Right.
I fully
SPEAKER_00 (36:46):
understand that.
And I think that it's...
I think it's good.
I think it's good that we comeon here and talk about realistic
stuff.
Like, I can notice that he'spretty unboundaried in this,
that I feel like she is justyoung, naive and mixed messages.
Like, she doesn't know what shewants.
She's virtually living foreverybody else in her life but
her.
They have a lot of growing up todo.
(37:07):
I still love my rating foroverall tacos.
It was poor.
Like I said, this was notactually my favorite, but it
made me happy.
Love lessons.
I'm going to say a I don't know.
Oh, my God.
That's maybe ridiculous.
I don't know.
I'm not looking up at that.
You know what?
We went into this knowing wewere going to be on
SPEAKER_01 (37:28):
different sides of the coin.
I...
Yes.
I gave it a two overall.
I gotta say, I did not enjoy it.
I do not want to watch it again.
And for love lessons, and maybethis is too harsh, I gave it a
one.
I had a hard time finding goodlessons in this movie.
But again, like, That might befair.
(37:51):
With my disclaimer that I haveno emotional attachment to this
movie.
SPEAKER_00 (37:54):
I get it.
I get it.
All right, guys.
That is a wrap on our firstepisode for our 80s series.
What did you think?
Do you love Say Anything?
Are you blind to all of thequestionable things like I was?
Did you notice all of the issueslike Izzy did?
(38:15):
Let us know.
SPEAKER_01 (38:18):
Tell us what you think.
We are dying to hear from you.
Was this relationship goals or,I think, total disaster?
You can vote in our Instagrampolls or DM us your hot takes.
SPEAKER_00 (38:29):
Next week, we are going to be continuing the 80s
series with Can't Buy Me Love.
Woohoo! With Patrick Dempsey andthe rest in peace Amanda
Peterson.
Make sure...
That's sad, but yes.
SPEAKER_01 (38:44):
Make sure to follow, subscribe, and leave a review if
you love Bye, guys.
See you soon.
Oh, you're funny.
Bye.
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