December 24, 2023 • 50 mins
In which Hannah and Caroline come to the conclusion that Scrooge is hot, for some reason quote the entirety of Home Alone, and even manage to mention a few holiday romances (sleighhh).
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Intro: (00:00)
- A Romance Your TBR Christmas Carol - (00:30)
Outro: (48:20)
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(Disclaimer: Caroline works for Forever Publishing; all opinions are our own and not affiliated with any other party. Image by Freepik.)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
But yeah, I honestly think I'm gonna snip snip
(00:05):
So that yeah, no, and I'm gonna put it out
As our stand-in holiday episode, it's gonna be probably on a Tuesday
And it's just Caroline ranting about a Muffy Christmas Carol a romance or TBI, TBI, TBI
A romance or TBI Christmas Carol
So
(00:27):
That's gonna happen good. There is a Christmas book where she shoots the hero and I loved it
Well, I didn't love it. Love it. It redeemed itself when she shot him. Oh the back dragging
Like I loved what she did. I was cuz he was hard cuz you were like, what is this guy like?
You were not loving him and then he got shot and then he was like, I think you killed me and she's like, oh no
(00:51):
Um, it was great. It was by Jennifer Ashley is from forever. Oh
Yeah, she had a whole line with them
So ones where you think it you think it doesn't have a step back because it has like the printed online
But then you open it and there's a step back in it
The prime dupe
(01:13):
I
Believe it was Jennifer Ashley once again, just so I can lead you guys all on the right path. Um, cuz yeah, it wasn't the
Mackenzie, please be here because I don't want to take up any more time
Cut it
Future Hannah everything
(01:35):
Oh Zuzu
Oh Christ your delicate toes. Oh gosh they were so delicate. Oh
Okay, Jennifer Haymore I am wrong but that one was it I was not wrong that it was from Grand Central forever a season of seduction
Again
(01:57):
It was it did what it needed to do and by the end I was feeling the Christmas spirit
Yeah, so again, I just that one was fun
Because I've read so many last year and this year if you just can't be bothered so
ghosts of Reed's past
Pulling me through we watched the Muppet Christmas Carol the other day. I thought of you god. I love that movie
(02:19):
That was our first Christmas watch of the season. I love that for you and earlier today. I was messaging Estelle because
Some of the songs from it are on my Christmas playlist
which is a banger and the the the song the
The the song that the ghost of Christmas present sings that song came on and I was crying
(02:43):
Because there's something about that song that one in the
The one the Kermit and and Tiny Tim
When they sing together that one gets me
But there's something about like that joyful. It's Christmas and like
it
like
The season of love and joy. I don't know
(03:04):
I don't know because it's a happy song but it gets me right in the feels and then I'm crying
Epilogue that span like 50 years
Yeah, it's like that but like the holiday cheer just injected itself right into my veins and then I was crying and it was
Okay, and Estelle was like honestly, that's so valid because it's a style she gets it. It's the Muppets. She knows
(03:27):
I will say cuz I hadn't seen that thing
In years God, what a good morning
It was it was very good. I
Was just terrified of that ghost of Christmas present or past. Yeah, no future future. Wait. Yeah
Cuz they made the comment the the white ghostie. Oh past she was freaky. Oh, I don't like future. I
(03:49):
Think they did a good job freaking that. Yeah
I think they even made like a comment about like are you sure this is made for children? I was like, I don't know
I'm scared of 25. Oh, I thought that was the future
Which whichever one is the little white one is nice
Yeah, just really creeps me the hell out and could show up in my nightmares at any time in December and I would fully run away
(04:13):
The one that could creep that creeps me out is I only watch them up at Christmas Carol
That's by far my favorite ones. My sister loves them up. Oh, no. No, sorry. I love the Muppets
It's the only Christmas Carol that I watch. Oh, yeah
The Christmas Carol just in general creeps and freaks me out. Sure. Sure. It's meant to you. It's Charles
But my dad always likes to instigate fights every year because he says it's the third best Christmas Carol
(04:37):
And that the best one is he like Scrooge? Oh, no, that one doesn't even count. That's a separate. We do also love Scrooge
The best one is oh
Why am I blanking out? It's not Michael Caine because Michael Caine is in the Muppets Christmas Carol. It's a George C
Scott plays Scrooge and then the second best one is Patrick Stewart, which
(04:59):
Absolute nonsense. The best one is in fact, the Muppets Christmas Carol is number one a costuming
Genius its art. It's like one of the best costume
Movies ever it's super accurate to the time and also it's one of the most accurate book to movie adaptations
And I think we should like hats off to the Muppets for that for pulling that off
(05:22):
However, one of them interesting for kids. Yeah, it's like I had to go to the gut like in Minnesota
the Guthrie theater is like our fancy theater in the cities and
For some reason they took a bunch of fifth graders
To Charles Dickens the Christmas Carol. No, and one it was kind of freaky. Yeah, it was very long
Yeah, and I was just like I think my mom fell asleep
(05:44):
I couldn't blame her. Yeah, because she had to go with like me and like my sister, but
Yeah, I
Have no real interest in other Christmas Carol. No. Well, so the one of the I don't remember which one it is
I think it's probably George C Scott, but it haunts me the ghosts of Christmas presents
In that movie and it's accurate to the book. It's something that got left out of the Muppet ones
(06:04):
But it is a part of the book
But it's like particularly scary the way they do it in that movie is that he like parts his robe and
Under the robe are the the two it's like hunger and
Like famine and something. I don't remember what their names are but
No, it's it's like two starving little vagrant children living under his roof
(06:26):
and they're like emaciated and horrible and it's supposed to be like
Oh, it's all wonderful
But then if you actually look behind the scenes like there are all these kids starving in the streets
But in the movie, they're like the fuel of nightmares
Like it was I saw it as a child and was like no I
(06:47):
Don't and I know what the point Charles Dickens was trying to make was but I did not care
For that and if I'm gonna watch something at Christmas, it's gonna be the goddamn Muppets
I know I'm right because Michael Caine was talking in an interview about how great that movie is and how he watches it every year
He's like it's a movie. It was so great to work on and I love it
(07:09):
That's Michael Caine I there's one that I like I've what I don't know which one that I would have watched
Because I don't watch it a lot like I don't know which one I would have watched
I don't know which one that I would have watched because I don't watch it a lot like just in general, but like
There was maybe in school. I think we had to watch it. I
Don't know. I don't but he did kind of look like Michael Caine. It's probably might be George C Scott
(07:34):
He looks he looks like I
Mean not identical obviously, but I could see how as a kid I would get those two confused. There's only one
Okay, well, I mean I know but I
Didn't even try to Google oh my gosh
I'm trying to find what the two oh, yeah, I recognize that weirdly sexual ghost
(07:59):
In that Christmas
Get up look at that. Yeah, that's the guy. That's the guy and he has the kids under his robe
Yeah, I do remember him. Maybe he was a sexual awakening. Maybe he wasn't I mean I get that because I do remember him being weird
Lee hot yeah, oh the ignorance and want those are the two
the two children are
(08:20):
Ignorance and want yeah, that's definitely the one I've seen and oh my god
Fantasy thriller well at least I named it a thriller
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna send you this image right now and tell me that this is not the fuel of nightmares
Oh, oh
When have I even seen that they had to have been in school oh
(08:44):
Yeah
That also just seems wrong
In like a lot of ways it it is what it's deeply appalling and I mean again, it's supposed to be I understand that
That's the point
This wasn't the one but I remember that guy
I they perhaps have a school edit where they cut that
(09:07):
But I don't know, huh
Well plot twist this is our Christmas episode
Our Christmas episode is actually just us watching all the different Christmas carols
Except you couldn't pay me to do that. I only watched the Muppets. I
Think oh
Yeah, there's our Ryan Reynolds one too spirited. Oh, you know what? I do want to watch the Barbie is
(09:33):
in the Christmas Carol that she has a Barbie one yeah, she plays like a
Bitchy young performer
Who is like the Scrooge type character I believe
There's also that animated one that got popular last year because young Scrooge like young animated Scrooge was hot and there was a really good
(09:55):
I don't remember Jim Carrey thing. I mean maybe I
Don't know. I didn't watch it. I'm on here. Maybe that's the one I mean it was animated
Yeah
so
Jim Carrey no, no, no, no, it was a way less freaky animation
(10:17):
That does look freaky and young Scrooge was hot. It was on like Netflix or something. Oh
No, this one not the 2001 one. No, no, no, it was from like last year. Oh, let me just type in 2020
Scrooge your Christmas Carol, maybe I have to assume yeah
Yes. Yep. That's the one I will say that one song that got popular hot screw
(10:40):
There was a hot young animated Scrooge in that and if you look up his song
He kind of looks hot when he's old if I'm being I get that I get that
You're not wrong
But there's a specific it like went viral on tik-tok specifically his song
Oh
Yeah, I think you played this for me I probably did it was probably about this time last year
(11:04):
Mm-hmm, cuz I'm seeing him and it's looking a real familiar and I definitely did not watch the movie and I'm later never comes
Yeah, deja vu. Olivia Rodrigo was right
This is where we have to insert pause
play the song from
the 2022
Christmas Carol, why does it hit me and then now you can hit play and we're back
(11:29):
I think the other thing that just I can't deal with in the Christmas Carol and they're like it's still sad in the Muppets version
But I'm it's a little bit easier to deal with is that I can't like him
Losing his chance with that woman with battle and like just growing old and then he never has that opera like in the book
She gets married and like has a bunch of kids and he goes to see her but like
(11:51):
The I just like that is one of those like you with the epilogue's crying over the passage of time
I do not deal with the whole like missed opportunity and now you'll never have that
like
Opportunity at law and like I get he's got all the other kinds of love and he becomes like a father to tiny Tim
What but he'll never have?
(12:11):
Like it's not like you get to go back with her in the Muppets one though, right? No
No, never and then
No, no, I mean the Muppets when they don't show her in the future with her kids and stuff
It's just that she leaves him and she sings a really sad song and Michael Caine gives an Oscar worthy performance
Do you know do you not you did you watch the version without the song? I
(12:33):
think so, so the song was removed from the theatrical from the
Yeah from the theatrical release on Disney Plus you can watch it with the song
But it's in like that you have to look at like the special features or something
There's the version with the song but there is a song and it
Look, I don't even love the song because I don't love the actress's voice
(12:54):
The whole my the whole rest of my family demands we watch it with the song because they love it and that's fine
The thing that I will say about the song is the song is the love is gone
The love is gone and at the end of the movie they sing the reprise the love we found
The love we found and if you haven't heard the first song then the reprise doesn't really make sense
(13:14):
but also it's devastating because she's singing about how like it's over and she's leaving him and like how he loves money and
Not her and all of this stuff and Michael Caine is like singing with her and sobbing. I
think my romance brain kind of just like
Changed history. I mean that's valid
I just told me that they were gonna like all of them all these Scrooge is where I go
(13:37):
No Scrooge never does but Michael Caine does deliver the performance of a lifetime
Pain I know I do really
Scrooge not like the young one cuz that's no no young young Scrooge is hot the young adult Scrooge
No, no, not the young adult
(13:57):
young man
the legal age
Scrooge
Was hot he was hot. Yeah. Yeah, you're correct. Yeah, and I was like, oh, I would I thought they did a good job getting the
Ages the different ages like aging into Michael Caine. I was like, wow, they really like pulled everything out for that
He did a lot of times they don't it's true. They did for the Muppets. They did everything right for the Muppets. Yeah
(14:22):
the costumes
the asides
That movie is so quote. In fact the last time we watched it. I quoted almost the entire movie
Actually
They did get one thing wrong. Oh
The scene during Christmas present when they go to Fred's Christmas party and they're playing the guessing game and they're like
(14:45):
Oh an unwanted creature in the city. That's not a rather
Whatever or a cockroach. It must be Ebony's a Scrooge and he's like yes and they're like, oh
Oh
Fred would never
Do that that is the most gross
Miscaracterization I have ever seen Fred would never
(15:09):
Make fun of his uncle that way
He would never in the book in every other version they do play a game
But it's just like a silly little guessing game and Scrooge knows the answer to the game and the other people don't and then when
He goes to the party. He's like, oh by the way, this is the answer and everyone is confused as to how he even knew
That like before the question was asked tee hee he
(15:29):
But you know what Fred would simply never do is claim that his uncle is an unwanted creature
Because his whole thing is that he like loves his uncle and he keeps coming to see him and thinking that he can like change
Him and get him into the Christmas. I have a lot of feelings
Fred's got you fighting in his army
And I love that for him. Yeah, because they did him so dirty in that scene
(15:53):
Muppets Christmas Carol you were so close
You did everything right except for that one thing
Well, I think
use
Wow, okay
Now I need to I feel like I need to go watch the one with the song true
Because at the very least watch the song and be emotional over Michael Caine. I
Feel like I'm always emotional over Michael. That's so valid performance and miscongeniality just gets me
(16:19):
Wow, yeah, I just have to track down which one I freaking was watching growing
I had to have been in school cuz I don't I know my parents just watched the Joe Elwyn one
But what?
yeah, he's in like they like made a
Another version like a TV show or oh, I didn't realize that man. Oh, yeah
Yeah, that wasn't really like not this year. I don't think I think they were watching it like earlier this year
(16:45):
But BBC maybe I don't know but he was the crotchet
And
Yeah, I saw like a few scenes cuz I've really never seen that man act
I never watched the favorite or anything with a minute. So it was jarring
to say the least
But yeah, I honestly think I'm gonna
(17:07):
snip snip
This so that yeah, no, and I'm gonna put it
out as
Our stand-in holiday episode. It's gonna be probably on a Tuesday
And it's just Caroline ranting about a muffy Christmas Carol a romance or TV TV TV
Ah a romance or TBI Christmas Carol
(17:29):
so
That's gonna happen good
Um, so yeah, you know what I will say for the other Christmas Carol
Sorry, if you're just gonna cut this I might as well just keep talking keep going. Um
Cuz most of it I didn't I don't want to watch right but I will say one thing that did burn itself into my brain
(17:49):
Is so you know how?
There's the scene in the Muppets version Scrooge goes to Kermit's house
Mm-hmm and is like Bob Cratchit why I want you at the office and Miss Piggy is like, oh is you right off the pavement?
When I was when we put it on I was like Miss Piggy so I know Kermit is gonna be Cratchit
(18:11):
So then Miss Piggy is gonna be his wife. I'm like, how are they gonna make her like a lowly like
Poor wife and my dad was like they're not they are not they are going to give her the most iconic role. Oh
We quote Miss Piggy in that movie. Mrs. Bennett. Well, we quote that entire movie constantly but specifically anytime
(18:34):
My mom makes anything in the kitchen. It smells so good mother
It does doesn't it all the time all the time
It's a chef's thing my dear you wouldn't understand anyway, where was I?
Oh, he goes and he's like I'm gonna give you a raise and she's like
I'll raise you right off the pit what in the George C Scott version?
(18:55):
What happens is what I think what happens in the book is it's the day after Christmas and he's supposed to be there earlier than usual
because that's how he got Christmas off and
He's running late and Bob Cratchit is running frantically because he's late and gets there and he scrambles with his keys to unlock the door
And the door slowly pushes open and there's this moment where it shows his face and
(19:20):
he's got this expression of like oh god and
That like burned itself in my brain partially because every time we watched it my dad would comment on it and be like oh
Like you can just see the agony of realizing that Ebenezer Scrooge made it there before him
And then he like creeps in to try to act like he was already there and Scrooge is like Bob Cratchit
(19:44):
And it's a whole thing but that man's face in that moment of realization is burned into my brain
So we've talked about before how like
We have like our families have like different like top like Christmas movies you guys watch a Christmas story a lot
Which we also do to you, right? Yeah, we're a we're a Christmas story, but only we watch it usually on New Year's Eve
(20:04):
Gotcha, or like we put on the 24-hour. I mean, I usually demand that we watch it at some point earlier
But typically that's also like now the Muppets are like your guys's like very well
That's because I love it and yeah, it's one of the few Christmas movies that we all love love together. Yeah
Cuz we that's kind of like how it is with each have like our different favorites
But like our top one that we could all just like put on whenever is Christmas vacation
(20:28):
Hmm. Um, and so that one is like quoted throughout the year. Mm-hmm
It was never more relevant than on the few days before Thanksgiving
we picked up two turkeys because we have one on Christmas and one on Thanksgiving and
My they were in our trucks we got them out my mom just had like she's not in a great mood
(20:48):
And so I was like do you need help? She's like carrying two huge turkeys in the house
And she's like, oh, I got it as moms do
I love all the luck
And so some reason or like somehow she like snagged the turkey on the truck
and so she's like walking in ahead of me and
I like looked down and I see a trail of like liquid
(21:13):
on the ground because we have pavement like in our driveway and I was like I
Was like trying to do the math I was like, what was she carrying? Oh turkeys
Why is it wet? And then all of a sudden cuz our front door was open. I hear a blood curdling scream
And it was because the turkey was snagged in the truck and it was dripping raw bloody turkey juice
(21:38):
Straight from our driveway all the way up our stairs where she had placed the groceries on the stairs over the groceries
Up on our new carpet. We just got new carpet
Because we had to like get some like like our sewer like pipes redone. So brand new carpet and
All I could think of because she was having a meltdown which to be fair. It's raw turkey juice. She hit like
(22:00):
Bad, but all I could think about was in Christmas vacation when she's like my carpet
And when I when we cooled down a little bit, that's all I was saying was my carpet
So that has never been more relevant because we do all we love to say that
Why is the carpet all wet Todd? I don't know Marco
But really the my carpet got me through that night because it was rough
(22:24):
We I was like, well mom you have to like use a turkey cuz like wouldn't it feel so good to like
Shove your hand up it and like cause havoc on this turkey. That just like ruined your life
And we we did eat it so we got the final laugh
That would still be a Christmas story quote for me
That would still be a Christmas story quote for me that would still be us quoting the various like
(22:47):
purposes
You're right, you're right. It's very cinematic. It was a cinematic moment. It was a night to remember
And like we can laugh about it now. I didn't know if we were gonna get to that point. Um
But I will say my perfect timing of my carpet did ease some of the tension
(23:08):
But
Just like the end like the moment was so cinematic of me looking down at
The pavement and being like maybe she won't notice because I got like it was like a two-second delay of like me
Realizing what had happened and her
Kevin's not here. Kevin's not here. Kevin's not here
(23:30):
And like
The way I looked at the door and looked back and was like maybe she won't maybe it'll be okay
And I hear this scream. I was like, oh no
Yeah, that was a thing and
This is completely unrelated. But my other cinematic story was when I cut that bug in the strawberry
(23:53):
There was another bug on a piece of lettuce and then it was like a shell or something and then I was like
Well, I'm still gonna eat my lettuce because I was like I didn't see it
It wasn't alive and I pick up the piece of lettuce and there's another bug
Not big enough for that shell on the piece of lettuce and I screamed that's valid
And it was alive, but it was like a tiny bug and I was like, so what was the show from?
(24:14):
Yeah, we had to throw out a bag of lettuce recently because it had worms in it. Oh
Yeah, apparently that's a thing that happens sometimes
Yeah, I didn't love that information though. So maybe that was a show
knows
I was like my proudest movie quote of recent memory was when there were 14 people living in this house
(24:35):
and
You better believe that
More than once I was like
There are 14 people in this house and you're the only one who has to cause trouble
I'm living alone that that was the other one was my constant. This house is so full of people. It makes me sick. I
(24:56):
Always quote. I got the milk eggs and fabrics off in her. That's like I
Got the milk
Yeah, milk
Yeah, we say it constantly it is so annoying that when I grow up and get married
I'm living alone and I also left from
from
Oh and freedom to it's no fish
(25:22):
No, it's freedom and fish we say fish and freedom a lot like a lot I
Love the I love you. Yep
Marvelous Tim Curry. Yeah, just made them. I love that
like I think I like home on do better because
I just so I love Tim Curry's character. I just love Tim Curry's character
(25:45):
I just love that. I love you and I always sing the Frankie song do bundle up. It's
Cold outside. I love him so much. Oh
God what an actor I love him and just like the I love you
Cliff mo
(26:07):
They'll look at cliff it's a lie
Why did I just eat that impression
Out of all of the quotes I have said why was that the best one cliff
bony Bob
Mo with the gimp be like
(26:30):
Because Caroline Moonlight's is cliff
I'm like, oh my god, I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, oh my god
Yeah, that movie is just peak perfection just like credit card you got it like I
It this is mr. McAllister the father
(26:54):
the father
Who even thought to put uncle Frank in the frickin shower have Kevin recorded have him singing that specific song
Oh, yeah cooking Frankie
I don't know
That's s t
(27:15):
I I
It just doesn't number on me those movies the one in the second one they
There are some of the shenanigans that I can't watch because they're so painful
You know, I'm like stepping on the nail that one is the main one. I can't watch him on the nail
(27:39):
Yeah, the one that and it's probably the cheesiest gimmick out of anything
It's that it's the cheesiest gimmick that happens in either of the movies
But from my earliest memories of watching home alone movies him getting electrocuted and turning into a skeleton
Was always my absolute fit like that was the funniest thing that child Caroline had ever seen it was my favorite
(28:05):
It was my face it's the dumbest bit like every other bit is like oh they definitely would not have survived that
Yeah, at least look semi realistic. That one is like what if we just had him briefly turn into a skeleton with like frizzed up hair and
Five year old Caroline was like that is
That's cinema that's art. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen
(28:28):
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I do I do love his scream. He ate that
Oh, like I
Why is it so funny my parents are like that's not even the best part. I mean, yes it is. I know my dad and
My dad and brother get hung up on the fact that he never ate his macaroni
(28:49):
I also get hung up on that to be fair with the glass of milk. Yeah. Yeah, he never got to eat it
What happened to that? No, that's
It's valid
Mans didn't get his dinner
Every time I watch it now, I just I do think about how many things would objectively kill a man
Like when he's chucking bricks at their heads
(29:12):
Like you would not survive
I that was my other baby Caroline's other favorite part was that have you had enough or you thirsty for more and then mark going?
I thought that was the funny
Spider waxer the face also iconic, but nothing touches never
That's a comedy for me. No, you're right. And then with the aftershave
(29:37):
Yes, or when he runs up he's like, ah runs in the camera and like looks and runs away
It's just those movies are oh, oh, oh, oh my god, John Candy
And the whole bit that he improvised with Catherine O'Hara
and the child
Looked at a lot too. Kids are resilient like that
(29:59):
You know six weeks he came around started talking again
Boca Boca. No, we're very big in Sheboygan. They can Chicago. No she boy
Will you ask I'm sorry I did I
Just hyper online to
(30:24):
Ladies I got hyper online to
Tell the lady to counter kids again
And the cops just do not like they just show up knock I'm like, what do you know no work was done there
Um
So true the French babes don't shave their pits some don't
(30:52):
They got nude beaches not in the winter they tell
No, I just gave him a whole lot of rat guts
I'm gonna let you sleep in my bed if you were growing on my ass
Why is this just evolved into us quoting Home Alone
A movie that most people yeah
(31:13):
I hope if you're still listening that you are getting as much of a kick out of this as we are
Yeah, I hope that you have favorite Home Alone quotes that you're just hoping we say honestly
I don't trust you if you don't have favorite Home Alone quotes like
Who are you they're not even like if you're like, oh pick a Christmas movie to watch
I don't think unless I've already watched a few others. I'm not gonna be like, oh Home Alone, but when you put them on
(31:39):
Mmm. See Christmas vacation. I think Home Alone is in my top
I mean, it's my top few but it wouldn't be my first pick
Yeah, and then I watch it and I'm like this is yeah, like this was perfect
Especially number two and then I mean I love a good jingle all the way because of the Minnesota representation
With Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have you ever seen that one?
I'm your number one customer
(32:01):
It's it's crazy. Basically
he
He works all the time. He misses all these engagements and his kid's life and everything. It's the kid from um
I think he's from Star Wars. He's the young Anakin
So he's already very annoying and you're kind of like kid get over it, but you're also like it's Christmas
and he wants this turbo man action figure doll and
(32:24):
Howard
Arnold Schwarzenegger. So just picture Arnold Schwarzenegger in like a suburban Minnesota like
Setting sure because they filmed it at the Mall of America when he had to go and like battle a child to get this turbo man
doll and he didn't get it and Rita Wilson so Tom Hanks his wife
She's in it and I think Tom Hanks maybe produced it with her. I don't know
(32:45):
And she's like you got the doll right because he missed his kid's karate performance
And then he's like, what can I do to make it up to you and Jamie is his name is also Jamie
And he's like and if you listen to this is because he recorded it at the end of her if are the the bride episodes
Or her name is Jamie
Look at that
(33:06):
And Jamie's like well, I want this and he recites the commercial like word-for-word and then
his wife
Ralph Reiter B.B. from With a Compass in the Stock and This Pentecostal Time
Exactly, and he's like
Exactly, and so the wife is like Howard you got like when they're getting ready for bed
She's like you got the doll right and then he looks at the camera. He's like, oh and so then tomorrow's Christmas Eve
(33:28):
Christmas Eve he has to go and then he doesn't I mean he's Howard
He doesn't know this doll is gonna be sold out. He gets in skirmishes with the local postman who's also looking for a doll
They commit a lot of crimes. He has a vendetta with this officer who pulls him over the night before and
it's just him trying to get this turbo man doll all throughout minute like Minneapolis and the Twin Cities and
(33:54):
John Balloo I think or someone's in there because then he gets like scalpers who are like an
Undercover like ring and then he has to put it's a whole thing. It's not the best movie
but I sure do love it because then he turns into turbo man at the end because there's a parade and
Then like he gets selected because of shenanigans like he just walks into the room and they're like, oh a triple man's here
(34:17):
Cuz it's huge Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, and then he like has to fight it out. It's you know
It's it's great
Huh, and then there's a there's a character
Ted who's like the next-door neighbor who's trying to get on his wife
That's a whole funny thing and Ted and and well
There's a quote nestled safely under our tree because the neighbor who's perfect and he's a eligible bachelor
(34:39):
Because he's divorced
And like loves to bake because he's trying to get all these women
He had he bought the doll months in advance and he always says it's nestled safely under our tree and then I
Mean does it almost get stolen and burnt down because there was a reindeer in the house. Yes
If things happen, it's a
(35:01):
Arguably a great movie
Arguably I'd say
Like that is me defending Talladega nights. I think good Ricky Bobby. No, but I
Texted my cuz I watched it
Because like it's like a nap car, but I wanted to watch a race car related movie. Yeah
(35:25):
That's not the kind of moot like we don't really will feral movies not our like
Else is the only one that my mom likes like you should be screaming Josh. I just since in it
Okay. Well that might be a turning point, but I mentioned I was like, I don't know. I'm watching something racing movies
I think I might watch Talladega nights
My dad was like well make sure to tell your brother because he it's like one of his favorite movies
(35:48):
I watched Talladega nights. I was like kind of angry because it wasn't good
Yeah, it's a welfare like
I
Had the kids kind of love it
So I text my brother afterwards who for context is oh god. How old am I?
24 25. I'm 25 so he's
(36:11):
32
No, how old is he? I don't know eight years older than me. God knows he has three children
I text him I
Said I just watched Talladega nights. This is a 7 30 p.m. And he's in the Eastern time zone
So 8 30 p.m. For him. He responds immediately in all caps with you have made me spill my macchiato. I
(36:38):
Said it was atrocious. I kind of loved it
To my throbbing member text as well
Yeah, that it tends to happen to me people suggest things and I'm like, I hate that so much. Absolutely. Um
His only response was really I drive formula. Mmm, and now
like the entire
(37:00):
What's his name?
Cuz Sasha Sasha Baron Cohen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah him as the French Formula One driver as a Formula One fan is the funniest thing
I've ever seen I
Should go back and rewatch it. You should have all this information from you
You should watch that when I was like because all I could think was the two Alpine drivers are both French
(37:20):
Esteban O'Connor Pierre Gasly and I was like, I don't understand like if I were a French Formula One driver, I would be quoting
That character like I would constantly be like I drive formula like
Constantly I mean I incite the spirit of Ricky Bobby constantly like whenever I need like having you to speed like
(37:44):
Whenever I'm driving fast, I'm like Ricky Bobby feel like cuz there are some things like my brother quotes
I don't even know like Austin Powers and movies and things that I've just been hearing quotes my entire life
I might from my dad
You were like I've just like absorbed quotes from them without knowing what they're from and I do feel like I have
Unintentionally used don't you put that evil on us Ricky Bobby? Like I feel like I've definitely said that without knowing
(38:09):
What that is from or what the context is
but the formula
It murdered my piece why I
Just don't understand why all of the Formula One drivers aren't constant like quoting that constantly. The other one is um cars
I don't know why I listen to a podcast where they interviewed an iconic IndyCar driver David Malukis
(38:30):
Who's like Gen Z meme king of IndyCar and I love him so much and he watches cars literally like on a constant
Yeah, well, he's like our age maybe a little bit younger
But he loves cars and they asked him they were like when you get in the car
Do you just like I am speed and he was like not really but I did say it like at least a couple of times
(38:52):
I was like I would be saying it all the time
I watched it with my nephew like the first I still haven't like I mean I've seen it all the way through but like a
Long long time ago cuz I remember Porsche. I think we went in the theaters
But like it had been a long time
It was long time for me
I did not remember the intro of it where he's like sleeping in the truck and then he like that's how he like gets into the
(39:14):
radiator springs and my nephew
I mean, he's like not even two yet, but he has got this movie down pat. Yeah, like he says cow when they're the tractor
Cows, so I think I'm like, do you think that's a cow like we need to have a talk. Um
But and the way he likes we drove him
To like a town that sounds really sketchy
But we had to like we were driving with him in the car. We listened to life is a highway the entire way there
(39:39):
And he just says hi and it's the cutest thing
But yeah, I was struck by how good that movie. It's so good. Why is it like a rom-com?
But if all the people were ours
And it's just so fascinating how they like it's objectively hilarious. Also, like
It's one of those great, you know Pixar movies. That's also funny for adults
(40:02):
There are so many
Just like absolutely kill me lines my email signature not so much for um
Like if I'm writing like kind of a higher up co-worker that I don't know very well or if I'm writing like an author or something
I don't use this as my I just have my standard work signature
But if I'm more but if I'm writing to like somebody I know or like an influencer or something
(40:23):
I will sign my emails off now with ca chow for now
And I I don't know if anybody's noticed except Estelle and like, you know on the team I was like guys
Do you think I could get away with the email signature ca chow for now? And they were like I actually demand that you do that
For now ca chow for now and I just say a lot. It's a great word
(40:47):
Also Estelle sent me a Cars Land Christmas playlist including some songs that are just like about Santa driving pickup trucks or whatever
But also some songs that are from some Mater and Luigi album
And the absolute best song on it is Jingle Bells D Luigi
And it's Luigi singing Cars theme Jingle Bells and it's excellent
(41:12):
That's what I feel about the SpongeBob Christmas songs
Straight enough to be
SpongeBob Patrick why'd you do this to me?
We were a Santa's coming tonight tonight Santa's coming tonight family
We were really annoying about it. My parents hated that song by the end of Christmas Eve every year
(41:35):
As they should because we were annoying
But in our defense Santa was coming tonight tonight. Yeah, and there's a Shrek Christmas one. That's great
Yeah, there's like a whole Nickelodeon like
Separate like Christmas. We've been watching a lot of Rugrats Christmas. My sisters and big into Rugrats right now
(41:57):
We'd like to rewatch the bewitched Christmas episodes. Those are always fun. I've been watching the Bob's Burgers. I started with the Thanksgiving ones
But then now I've like started to like go into their Christmas ones because they have so many different Christmas
And it's just so comforting that show is so weird and I love it so dearly
Tina you get me
(42:19):
Not maybe a good thing, but it's the right thing
And also my mom is so Linda. My dad is kind of Bob if he didn't cook
It's just perfect
Perfect
But yeah, well on that note yeah that's shaped up to be a
(42:40):
Christmas episode that we did not intend because Dash is quoting things
Listen
It's a gift that keeps on giving
Merry Christmas work that we weren't yeah, we weren't gonna give you a
Holiday Christmas episode because we simply don't want to be reading and recording on that but like well
(43:02):
Here's just like us forgetting to try to make you look at
This is yeah, normally we normally we hit we hit end and then we have like an hour conversation
So you're just privy to it. Yeah
There are a few book recs in there. I would just really just focus on the vellas
look up the
Duke in a box anthology from last year look at all those because they're now starting to be like independently published because you can't buy that one anymore
(43:28):
On good reads. I have like my top favorite. I think it's like six
that I really liked
Actually, I loved I loved them a lot and I'm gonna read those and
There are just a few other novellas that are like coming out. I know Leanna de la Rosa has one
It's like the commander's Christmas wife or something something like that
that I want to read and
(43:49):
not much else, so
you got formula one and
Christmas movie reenactment
Instead I don't know what more you could possibly want the vibes all I want for Christmas is
Whatever that was
Exactly, and I think you would also like I saw somewhere an f1 romance my
(44:12):
I'm just gonna drop like an f1 romance novella one day
I'm gonna be like a surprise here it is and it's gonna be based on the fact that at the Las Vegas GP
There is a trackside chapel called race to the altar, which is not gonna be called
It's gonna be called race to the altar like I think you need to like somehow
Just put it on good reads
Are like oh this is gonna exist at some point. I can't take the title and then you just got it
(44:37):
I mean even if somebody has the title it'll be fine. There are lots of books with the same title
Listen like that's the most romance novel coded thing I've ever heard that is race to the altar
A Vegas chapel at the side of the track
It's gonna happen and also specifically I'm like how can I finagle my way into like an oops we got married
But we have to just go with it
(44:58):
Situation you know what I mean?
Well I mean if it's Vegas
And there's a chapel
Right like I feel like it writes itself
You know I agree
It's designed to be a romance novel
And I think it should be me
If I were to drop anything I think it would have to be like
(45:20):
And it happened one night
Romance because that's like a Christmas movie but like she's a like a petty thief basically and he's the lawyer
Or the prosecutor I guess who's like supposed to like put her in jail lock her up, but it's like the holidays
And so normally the jury is let especially women go over the holidays because that's just so cruel of them
(45:42):
But he's kind of a jerk and good at his job
So he like gets them to basically pause the trial until after the holidays
So she's got to go to jail during that
And he feels bad about it so he's like he goes to the bond guy or whatever
He's like don't like here's this whatever
(46:05):
And then he the bonds guy ends up delivering her to his house
Because the guy thought that he was like wanting to sleep with her in like a luxury way
And he like it's like no that's not what was happening here
And she's like oh it's not good
You mean I can leave and he's like yeah please leave actually I'm going home to my family
And she's like well no I'll stay then
Because like I don't have anywhere to go but also like you weren't kicking me out so now I can stay
(46:29):
And then he's like well no I'm leaving
And then it turns out they have family in like the same area
So what do they do it's a road trip
This is the historical romance
Yep
Slay
Yep
That was a slay
So slay
Like I need
So slay
I need oh slay S-L-E-H
(46:51):
Yeah
G no
E-I-G-I-G-H
Not you not me
I can't see things in my head so it gets very hard spelling out loud
S-L-E-A-I-G-H
No there's no A
S-L-E-I-G-H
I was saying E but like the A because the sound is A not an I oh my god
S-L-E-I-G-H yes
(47:13):
Though
But yeah it happened when like I need
Like cause like in which Margo Halifax like she's not a thief
Like I just really need the specific dynamic of a barrister and like a petty thief and I know it's out there
I know it has to exist so if you have read
If you have read one because the only one close enough
(47:34):
Write the romance you want to see in the world Hannah
Right so that's what that's the point that we were trying to make here is that if you ever see a random barrister times petty thief
Romance book
Novella probably
That would be what I would write because it's stuck in my brain ever since I saw it like a few years ago because it's like an old black and white one
I was saying it was it happened so the movie I was talking about was Remember the Night it happened when it was also very romance novel
(48:00):
Because that's
She's like an heiress and he's a reporter and it's like a train road trip kind of
A track trip
Why don't they make movies like this
And I know they have like a sheet that they have to put up because they're in only one bed situation or like only one room they put a sheet in the room
It's great
I know so good
Well this is this is a very
(48:26):
Remember the night is Christmas they're going to Christmas
And slams a door in his face
So Joey the month club
We are the romance of the month club
We're the gift that keeps on giving even when you don't want it to keep giving and it's been an hour and a half and you're like please stop giving and we're just going to keep giving
We are the jelly it's giving season
(48:49):
Have you seen that
It was just a tick tock that went viral of like a I can't remember what store it was
No somebody had put around Thanksgiving there was some store can't remember which one that had put it's giving season
And he was like why did I read it as it's giving season
And I was like that's funny because I also read it as it's giving season
(49:13):
And now I say that about anything seasonal it's giving season
That's so right
All right well this is our gift to you
This is happy holidays
Did we ever wrap up the other no we have to do that we have to do that we sure do yeah
(49:39):
Yeah so ho ho ho sleigh all day sleigh all night s l e i g h
Well done
Sleigh
Yay
But yeah, I honestly think I'm gonna snip snip
(00:05):
So that yeah, no, and I'm gonna put it out
As our stand-in holiday episode, it's gonna be probably on a Tuesday
And it's just Caroline ranting about a Muffy Christmas Carol a romance or TBI, TBI, TBI
A romance or TBI Christmas Carol
So
(00:27):
That's gonna happen good. There is a Christmas book where she shoots the hero and I loved it
Well, I didn't love it. Love it. It redeemed itself when she shot him. Oh the back dragging
Like I loved what she did. I was cuz he was hard cuz you were like, what is this guy like?
You were not loving him and then he got shot and then he was like, I think you killed me and she's like, oh no
(00:51):
Um, it was great. It was by Jennifer Ashley is from forever. Oh
Yeah, she had a whole line with them
So ones where you think it you think it doesn't have a step back because it has like the printed online
But then you open it and there's a step back in it
The prime dupe
(01:13):
I
Believe it was Jennifer Ashley once again, just so I can lead you guys all on the right path. Um, cuz yeah, it wasn't the
Mackenzie, please be here because I don't want to take up any more time
Cut it
Future Hannah everything
(01:35):
Oh Zuzu
Oh Christ your delicate toes. Oh gosh they were so delicate. Oh
Okay, Jennifer Haymore I am wrong but that one was it I was not wrong that it was from Grand Central forever a season of seduction
Again
(01:57):
It was it did what it needed to do and by the end I was feeling the Christmas spirit
Yeah, so again, I just that one was fun
Because I've read so many last year and this year if you just can't be bothered so
ghosts of Reed's past
Pulling me through we watched the Muppet Christmas Carol the other day. I thought of you god. I love that movie
(02:19):
That was our first Christmas watch of the season. I love that for you and earlier today. I was messaging Estelle because
Some of the songs from it are on my Christmas playlist
which is a banger and the the the song the
The the song that the ghost of Christmas present sings that song came on and I was crying
(02:43):
Because there's something about that song that one in the
The one the Kermit and and Tiny Tim
When they sing together that one gets me
But there's something about like that joyful. It's Christmas and like
it
like
The season of love and joy. I don't know
(03:04):
I don't know because it's a happy song but it gets me right in the feels and then I'm crying
Epilogue that span like 50 years
Yeah, it's like that but like the holiday cheer just injected itself right into my veins and then I was crying and it was
Okay, and Estelle was like honestly, that's so valid because it's a style she gets it. It's the Muppets. She knows
(03:27):
I will say cuz I hadn't seen that thing
In years God, what a good morning
It was it was very good. I
Was just terrified of that ghost of Christmas present or past. Yeah, no future future. Wait. Yeah
Cuz they made the comment the the white ghostie. Oh past she was freaky. Oh, I don't like future. I
(03:49):
Think they did a good job freaking that. Yeah
I think they even made like a comment about like are you sure this is made for children? I was like, I don't know
I'm scared of 25. Oh, I thought that was the future
Which whichever one is the little white one is nice
Yeah, just really creeps me the hell out and could show up in my nightmares at any time in December and I would fully run away
(04:13):
The one that could creep that creeps me out is I only watch them up at Christmas Carol
That's by far my favorite ones. My sister loves them up. Oh, no. No, sorry. I love the Muppets
It's the only Christmas Carol that I watch. Oh, yeah
The Christmas Carol just in general creeps and freaks me out. Sure. Sure. It's meant to you. It's Charles
But my dad always likes to instigate fights every year because he says it's the third best Christmas Carol
(04:37):
And that the best one is he like Scrooge? Oh, no, that one doesn't even count. That's a separate. We do also love Scrooge
The best one is oh
Why am I blanking out? It's not Michael Caine because Michael Caine is in the Muppets Christmas Carol. It's a George C
Scott plays Scrooge and then the second best one is Patrick Stewart, which
(04:59):
Absolute nonsense. The best one is in fact, the Muppets Christmas Carol is number one a costuming
Genius its art. It's like one of the best costume
Movies ever it's super accurate to the time and also it's one of the most accurate book to movie adaptations
And I think we should like hats off to the Muppets for that for pulling that off
(05:22):
However, one of them interesting for kids. Yeah, it's like I had to go to the gut like in Minnesota
the Guthrie theater is like our fancy theater in the cities and
For some reason they took a bunch of fifth graders
To Charles Dickens the Christmas Carol. No, and one it was kind of freaky. Yeah, it was very long
Yeah, and I was just like I think my mom fell asleep
(05:44):
I couldn't blame her. Yeah, because she had to go with like me and like my sister, but
Yeah, I
Have no real interest in other Christmas Carol. No. Well, so the one of the I don't remember which one it is
I think it's probably George C Scott, but it haunts me the ghosts of Christmas presents
In that movie and it's accurate to the book. It's something that got left out of the Muppet ones
(06:04):
But it is a part of the book
But it's like particularly scary the way they do it in that movie is that he like parts his robe and
Under the robe are the the two it's like hunger and
Like famine and something. I don't remember what their names are but
No, it's it's like two starving little vagrant children living under his roof
(06:26):
and they're like emaciated and horrible and it's supposed to be like
Oh, it's all wonderful
But then if you actually look behind the scenes like there are all these kids starving in the streets
But in the movie, they're like the fuel of nightmares
Like it was I saw it as a child and was like no I
(06:47):
Don't and I know what the point Charles Dickens was trying to make was but I did not care
For that and if I'm gonna watch something at Christmas, it's gonna be the goddamn Muppets
I know I'm right because Michael Caine was talking in an interview about how great that movie is and how he watches it every year
He's like it's a movie. It was so great to work on and I love it
(07:09):
That's Michael Caine I there's one that I like I've what I don't know which one that I would have watched
Because I don't watch it a lot like I don't know which one I would have watched
I don't know which one that I would have watched because I don't watch it a lot like just in general, but like
There was maybe in school. I think we had to watch it. I
Don't know. I don't but he did kind of look like Michael Caine. It's probably might be George C Scott
(07:34):
He looks he looks like I
Mean not identical obviously, but I could see how as a kid I would get those two confused. There's only one
Okay, well, I mean I know but I
Didn't even try to Google oh my gosh
I'm trying to find what the two oh, yeah, I recognize that weirdly sexual ghost
(07:59):
In that Christmas
Get up look at that. Yeah, that's the guy. That's the guy and he has the kids under his robe
Yeah, I do remember him. Maybe he was a sexual awakening. Maybe he wasn't I mean I get that because I do remember him being weird
Lee hot yeah, oh the ignorance and want those are the two
the two children are
(08:20):
Ignorance and want yeah, that's definitely the one I've seen and oh my god
Fantasy thriller well at least I named it a thriller
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna send you this image right now and tell me that this is not the fuel of nightmares
Oh, oh
When have I even seen that they had to have been in school oh
(08:44):
Yeah
That also just seems wrong
In like a lot of ways it it is what it's deeply appalling and I mean again, it's supposed to be I understand that
That's the point
This wasn't the one but I remember that guy
I they perhaps have a school edit where they cut that
(09:07):
But I don't know, huh
Well plot twist this is our Christmas episode
Our Christmas episode is actually just us watching all the different Christmas carols
Except you couldn't pay me to do that. I only watched the Muppets. I
Think oh
Yeah, there's our Ryan Reynolds one too spirited. Oh, you know what? I do want to watch the Barbie is
(09:33):
in the Christmas Carol that she has a Barbie one yeah, she plays like a
Bitchy young performer
Who is like the Scrooge type character I believe
There's also that animated one that got popular last year because young Scrooge like young animated Scrooge was hot and there was a really good
(09:55):
I don't remember Jim Carrey thing. I mean maybe I
Don't know. I didn't watch it. I'm on here. Maybe that's the one I mean it was animated
Yeah
so
Jim Carrey no, no, no, no, it was a way less freaky animation
(10:17):
That does look freaky and young Scrooge was hot. It was on like Netflix or something. Oh
No, this one not the 2001 one. No, no, no, it was from like last year. Oh, let me just type in 2020
Scrooge your Christmas Carol, maybe I have to assume yeah
Yes. Yep. That's the one I will say that one song that got popular hot screw
(10:40):
There was a hot young animated Scrooge in that and if you look up his song
He kind of looks hot when he's old if I'm being I get that I get that
You're not wrong
But there's a specific it like went viral on tik-tok specifically his song
Oh
Yeah, I think you played this for me I probably did it was probably about this time last year
(11:04):
Mm-hmm, cuz I'm seeing him and it's looking a real familiar and I definitely did not watch the movie and I'm later never comes
Yeah, deja vu. Olivia Rodrigo was right
This is where we have to insert pause
play the song from
the 2022
Christmas Carol, why does it hit me and then now you can hit play and we're back
(11:29):
I think the other thing that just I can't deal with in the Christmas Carol and they're like it's still sad in the Muppets version
But I'm it's a little bit easier to deal with is that I can't like him
Losing his chance with that woman with battle and like just growing old and then he never has that opera like in the book
She gets married and like has a bunch of kids and he goes to see her but like
(11:51):
The I just like that is one of those like you with the epilogue's crying over the passage of time
I do not deal with the whole like missed opportunity and now you'll never have that
like
Opportunity at law and like I get he's got all the other kinds of love and he becomes like a father to tiny Tim
What but he'll never have?
(12:11):
Like it's not like you get to go back with her in the Muppets one though, right? No
No, never and then
No, no, I mean the Muppets when they don't show her in the future with her kids and stuff
It's just that she leaves him and she sings a really sad song and Michael Caine gives an Oscar worthy performance
Do you know do you not you did you watch the version without the song? I
(12:33):
think so, so the song was removed from the theatrical from the
Yeah from the theatrical release on Disney Plus you can watch it with the song
But it's in like that you have to look at like the special features or something
There's the version with the song but there is a song and it
Look, I don't even love the song because I don't love the actress's voice
(12:54):
The whole my the whole rest of my family demands we watch it with the song because they love it and that's fine
The thing that I will say about the song is the song is the love is gone
The love is gone and at the end of the movie they sing the reprise the love we found
The love we found and if you haven't heard the first song then the reprise doesn't really make sense
(13:14):
but also it's devastating because she's singing about how like it's over and she's leaving him and like how he loves money and
Not her and all of this stuff and Michael Caine is like singing with her and sobbing. I
think my romance brain kind of just like
Changed history. I mean that's valid
I just told me that they were gonna like all of them all these Scrooge is where I go
(13:37):
No Scrooge never does but Michael Caine does deliver the performance of a lifetime
Pain I know I do really
Scrooge not like the young one cuz that's no no young young Scrooge is hot the young adult Scrooge
No, no, not the young adult
(13:57):
young man
the legal age
Scrooge
Was hot he was hot. Yeah. Yeah, you're correct. Yeah, and I was like, oh, I would I thought they did a good job getting the
Ages the different ages like aging into Michael Caine. I was like, wow, they really like pulled everything out for that
He did a lot of times they don't it's true. They did for the Muppets. They did everything right for the Muppets. Yeah
(14:22):
the costumes
the asides
That movie is so quote. In fact the last time we watched it. I quoted almost the entire movie
Actually
They did get one thing wrong. Oh
The scene during Christmas present when they go to Fred's Christmas party and they're playing the guessing game and they're like
(14:45):
Oh an unwanted creature in the city. That's not a rather
Whatever or a cockroach. It must be Ebony's a Scrooge and he's like yes and they're like, oh
Oh
Fred would never
Do that that is the most gross
Miscaracterization I have ever seen Fred would never
(15:09):
Make fun of his uncle that way
He would never in the book in every other version they do play a game
But it's just like a silly little guessing game and Scrooge knows the answer to the game and the other people don't and then when
He goes to the party. He's like, oh by the way, this is the answer and everyone is confused as to how he even knew
That like before the question was asked tee hee he
(15:29):
But you know what Fred would simply never do is claim that his uncle is an unwanted creature
Because his whole thing is that he like loves his uncle and he keeps coming to see him and thinking that he can like change
Him and get him into the Christmas. I have a lot of feelings
Fred's got you fighting in his army
And I love that for him. Yeah, because they did him so dirty in that scene
(15:53):
Muppets Christmas Carol you were so close
You did everything right except for that one thing
Well, I think
use
Wow, okay
Now I need to I feel like I need to go watch the one with the song true
Because at the very least watch the song and be emotional over Michael Caine. I
Feel like I'm always emotional over Michael. That's so valid performance and miscongeniality just gets me
(16:19):
Wow, yeah, I just have to track down which one I freaking was watching growing
I had to have been in school cuz I don't I know my parents just watched the Joe Elwyn one
But what?
yeah, he's in like they like made a
Another version like a TV show or oh, I didn't realize that man. Oh, yeah
Yeah, that wasn't really like not this year. I don't think I think they were watching it like earlier this year
(16:45):
But BBC maybe I don't know but he was the crotchet
And
Yeah, I saw like a few scenes cuz I've really never seen that man act
I never watched the favorite or anything with a minute. So it was jarring
to say the least
But yeah, I honestly think I'm gonna
(17:07):
snip snip
This so that yeah, no, and I'm gonna put it
out as
Our stand-in holiday episode. It's gonna be probably on a Tuesday
And it's just Caroline ranting about a muffy Christmas Carol a romance or TV TV TV
Ah a romance or TBI Christmas Carol
(17:29):
so
That's gonna happen good
Um, so yeah, you know what I will say for the other Christmas Carol
Sorry, if you're just gonna cut this I might as well just keep talking keep going. Um
Cuz most of it I didn't I don't want to watch right but I will say one thing that did burn itself into my brain
(17:49):
Is so you know how?
There's the scene in the Muppets version Scrooge goes to Kermit's house
Mm-hmm and is like Bob Cratchit why I want you at the office and Miss Piggy is like, oh is you right off the pavement?
When I was when we put it on I was like Miss Piggy so I know Kermit is gonna be Cratchit
(18:11):
So then Miss Piggy is gonna be his wife. I'm like, how are they gonna make her like a lowly like
Poor wife and my dad was like they're not they are not they are going to give her the most iconic role. Oh
We quote Miss Piggy in that movie. Mrs. Bennett. Well, we quote that entire movie constantly but specifically anytime
(18:34):
My mom makes anything in the kitchen. It smells so good mother
It does doesn't it all the time all the time
It's a chef's thing my dear you wouldn't understand anyway, where was I?
Oh, he goes and he's like I'm gonna give you a raise and she's like
I'll raise you right off the pit what in the George C Scott version?
(18:55):
What happens is what I think what happens in the book is it's the day after Christmas and he's supposed to be there earlier than usual
because that's how he got Christmas off and
He's running late and Bob Cratchit is running frantically because he's late and gets there and he scrambles with his keys to unlock the door
And the door slowly pushes open and there's this moment where it shows his face and
(19:20):
he's got this expression of like oh god and
That like burned itself in my brain partially because every time we watched it my dad would comment on it and be like oh
Like you can just see the agony of realizing that Ebenezer Scrooge made it there before him
And then he like creeps in to try to act like he was already there and Scrooge is like Bob Cratchit
(19:44):
And it's a whole thing but that man's face in that moment of realization is burned into my brain
So we've talked about before how like
We have like our families have like different like top like Christmas movies you guys watch a Christmas story a lot
Which we also do to you, right? Yeah, we're a we're a Christmas story, but only we watch it usually on New Year's Eve
(20:04):
Gotcha, or like we put on the 24-hour. I mean, I usually demand that we watch it at some point earlier
But typically that's also like now the Muppets are like your guys's like very well
That's because I love it and yeah, it's one of the few Christmas movies that we all love love together. Yeah
Cuz we that's kind of like how it is with each have like our different favorites
But like our top one that we could all just like put on whenever is Christmas vacation
(20:28):
Hmm. Um, and so that one is like quoted throughout the year. Mm-hmm
It was never more relevant than on the few days before Thanksgiving
we picked up two turkeys because we have one on Christmas and one on Thanksgiving and
My they were in our trucks we got them out my mom just had like she's not in a great mood
(20:48):
And so I was like do you need help? She's like carrying two huge turkeys in the house
And she's like, oh, I got it as moms do
I love all the luck
And so some reason or like somehow she like snagged the turkey on the truck
and so she's like walking in ahead of me and
I like looked down and I see a trail of like liquid
(21:13):
on the ground because we have pavement like in our driveway and I was like I
Was like trying to do the math I was like, what was she carrying? Oh turkeys
Why is it wet? And then all of a sudden cuz our front door was open. I hear a blood curdling scream
And it was because the turkey was snagged in the truck and it was dripping raw bloody turkey juice
(21:38):
Straight from our driveway all the way up our stairs where she had placed the groceries on the stairs over the groceries
Up on our new carpet. We just got new carpet
Because we had to like get some like like our sewer like pipes redone. So brand new carpet and
All I could think of because she was having a meltdown which to be fair. It's raw turkey juice. She hit like
(22:00):
Bad, but all I could think about was in Christmas vacation when she's like my carpet
And when I when we cooled down a little bit, that's all I was saying was my carpet
So that has never been more relevant because we do all we love to say that
Why is the carpet all wet Todd? I don't know Marco
But really the my carpet got me through that night because it was rough
(22:24):
We I was like, well mom you have to like use a turkey cuz like wouldn't it feel so good to like
Shove your hand up it and like cause havoc on this turkey. That just like ruined your life
And we we did eat it so we got the final laugh
That would still be a Christmas story quote for me
That would still be a Christmas story quote for me that would still be us quoting the various like
(22:47):
purposes
You're right, you're right. It's very cinematic. It was a cinematic moment. It was a night to remember
And like we can laugh about it now. I didn't know if we were gonna get to that point. Um
But I will say my perfect timing of my carpet did ease some of the tension
(23:08):
But
Just like the end like the moment was so cinematic of me looking down at
The pavement and being like maybe she won't notice because I got like it was like a two-second delay of like me
Realizing what had happened and her
Kevin's not here. Kevin's not here. Kevin's not here
(23:30):
And like
The way I looked at the door and looked back and was like maybe she won't maybe it'll be okay
And I hear this scream. I was like, oh no
Yeah, that was a thing and
This is completely unrelated. But my other cinematic story was when I cut that bug in the strawberry
(23:53):
There was another bug on a piece of lettuce and then it was like a shell or something and then I was like
Well, I'm still gonna eat my lettuce because I was like I didn't see it
It wasn't alive and I pick up the piece of lettuce and there's another bug
Not big enough for that shell on the piece of lettuce and I screamed that's valid
And it was alive, but it was like a tiny bug and I was like, so what was the show from?
(24:14):
Yeah, we had to throw out a bag of lettuce recently because it had worms in it. Oh
Yeah, apparently that's a thing that happens sometimes
Yeah, I didn't love that information though. So maybe that was a show
knows
I was like my proudest movie quote of recent memory was when there were 14 people living in this house
(24:35):
and
You better believe that
More than once I was like
There are 14 people in this house and you're the only one who has to cause trouble
I'm living alone that that was the other one was my constant. This house is so full of people. It makes me sick. I
(24:56):
Always quote. I got the milk eggs and fabrics off in her. That's like I
Got the milk
Yeah, milk
Yeah, we say it constantly it is so annoying that when I grow up and get married
I'm living alone and I also left from
from
Oh and freedom to it's no fish
(25:22):
No, it's freedom and fish we say fish and freedom a lot like a lot I
Love the I love you. Yep
Marvelous Tim Curry. Yeah, just made them. I love that
like I think I like home on do better because
I just so I love Tim Curry's character. I just love Tim Curry's character
(25:45):
I just love that. I love you and I always sing the Frankie song do bundle up. It's
Cold outside. I love him so much. Oh
God what an actor I love him and just like the I love you
Cliff mo
(26:07):
They'll look at cliff it's a lie
Why did I just eat that impression
Out of all of the quotes I have said why was that the best one cliff
bony Bob
Mo with the gimp be like
(26:30):
Because Caroline Moonlight's is cliff
I'm like, oh my god, I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, oh my god
Yeah, that movie is just peak perfection just like credit card you got it like I
It this is mr. McAllister the father
(26:54):
the father
Who even thought to put uncle Frank in the frickin shower have Kevin recorded have him singing that specific song
Oh, yeah cooking Frankie
I don't know
That's s t
(27:15):
I I
It just doesn't number on me those movies the one in the second one they
There are some of the shenanigans that I can't watch because they're so painful
You know, I'm like stepping on the nail that one is the main one. I can't watch him on the nail
(27:39):
Yeah, the one that and it's probably the cheesiest gimmick out of anything
It's that it's the cheesiest gimmick that happens in either of the movies
But from my earliest memories of watching home alone movies him getting electrocuted and turning into a skeleton
Was always my absolute fit like that was the funniest thing that child Caroline had ever seen it was my favorite
(28:05):
It was my face it's the dumbest bit like every other bit is like oh they definitely would not have survived that
Yeah, at least look semi realistic. That one is like what if we just had him briefly turn into a skeleton with like frizzed up hair and
Five year old Caroline was like that is
That's cinema that's art. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen
(28:28):
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I do I do love his scream. He ate that
Oh, like I
Why is it so funny my parents are like that's not even the best part. I mean, yes it is. I know my dad and
My dad and brother get hung up on the fact that he never ate his macaroni
(28:49):
I also get hung up on that to be fair with the glass of milk. Yeah. Yeah, he never got to eat it
What happened to that? No, that's
It's valid
Mans didn't get his dinner
Every time I watch it now, I just I do think about how many things would objectively kill a man
Like when he's chucking bricks at their heads
(29:12):
Like you would not survive
I that was my other baby Caroline's other favorite part was that have you had enough or you thirsty for more and then mark going?
I thought that was the funny
Spider waxer the face also iconic, but nothing touches never
That's a comedy for me. No, you're right. And then with the aftershave
(29:37):
Yes, or when he runs up he's like, ah runs in the camera and like looks and runs away
It's just those movies are oh, oh, oh, oh my god, John Candy
And the whole bit that he improvised with Catherine O'Hara
and the child
Looked at a lot too. Kids are resilient like that
(29:59):
You know six weeks he came around started talking again
Boca Boca. No, we're very big in Sheboygan. They can Chicago. No she boy
Will you ask I'm sorry I did I
Just hyper online to
(30:24):
Ladies I got hyper online to
Tell the lady to counter kids again
And the cops just do not like they just show up knock I'm like, what do you know no work was done there
Um
So true the French babes don't shave their pits some don't
(30:52):
They got nude beaches not in the winter they tell
No, I just gave him a whole lot of rat guts
I'm gonna let you sleep in my bed if you were growing on my ass
Why is this just evolved into us quoting Home Alone
A movie that most people yeah
(31:13):
I hope if you're still listening that you are getting as much of a kick out of this as we are
Yeah, I hope that you have favorite Home Alone quotes that you're just hoping we say honestly
I don't trust you if you don't have favorite Home Alone quotes like
Who are you they're not even like if you're like, oh pick a Christmas movie to watch
I don't think unless I've already watched a few others. I'm not gonna be like, oh Home Alone, but when you put them on
(31:39):
Mmm. See Christmas vacation. I think Home Alone is in my top
I mean, it's my top few but it wouldn't be my first pick
Yeah, and then I watch it and I'm like this is yeah, like this was perfect
Especially number two and then I mean I love a good jingle all the way because of the Minnesota representation
With Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have you ever seen that one?
I'm your number one customer
(32:01):
It's it's crazy. Basically
he
He works all the time. He misses all these engagements and his kid's life and everything. It's the kid from um
I think he's from Star Wars. He's the young Anakin
So he's already very annoying and you're kind of like kid get over it, but you're also like it's Christmas
and he wants this turbo man action figure doll and
(32:24):
Howard
Arnold Schwarzenegger. So just picture Arnold Schwarzenegger in like a suburban Minnesota like
Setting sure because they filmed it at the Mall of America when he had to go and like battle a child to get this turbo man
doll and he didn't get it and Rita Wilson so Tom Hanks his wife
She's in it and I think Tom Hanks maybe produced it with her. I don't know
(32:45):
And she's like you got the doll right because he missed his kid's karate performance
And then he's like, what can I do to make it up to you and Jamie is his name is also Jamie
And he's like and if you listen to this is because he recorded it at the end of her if are the the bride episodes
Or her name is Jamie
Look at that
(33:06):
And Jamie's like well, I want this and he recites the commercial like word-for-word and then
his wife
Ralph Reiter B.B. from With a Compass in the Stock and This Pentecostal Time
Exactly, and he's like
Exactly, and so the wife is like Howard you got like when they're getting ready for bed
She's like you got the doll right and then he looks at the camera. He's like, oh and so then tomorrow's Christmas Eve
(33:28):
Christmas Eve he has to go and then he doesn't I mean he's Howard
He doesn't know this doll is gonna be sold out. He gets in skirmishes with the local postman who's also looking for a doll
They commit a lot of crimes. He has a vendetta with this officer who pulls him over the night before and
it's just him trying to get this turbo man doll all throughout minute like Minneapolis and the Twin Cities and
(33:54):
John Balloo I think or someone's in there because then he gets like scalpers who are like an
Undercover like ring and then he has to put it's a whole thing. It's not the best movie
but I sure do love it because then he turns into turbo man at the end because there's a parade and
Then like he gets selected because of shenanigans like he just walks into the room and they're like, oh a triple man's here
(34:17):
Cuz it's huge Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, and then he like has to fight it out. It's you know
It's it's great
Huh, and then there's a there's a character
Ted who's like the next-door neighbor who's trying to get on his wife
That's a whole funny thing and Ted and and well
There's a quote nestled safely under our tree because the neighbor who's perfect and he's a eligible bachelor
(34:39):
Because he's divorced
And like loves to bake because he's trying to get all these women
He had he bought the doll months in advance and he always says it's nestled safely under our tree and then I
Mean does it almost get stolen and burnt down because there was a reindeer in the house. Yes
If things happen, it's a
(35:01):
Arguably a great movie
Arguably I'd say
Like that is me defending Talladega nights. I think good Ricky Bobby. No, but I
Texted my cuz I watched it
Because like it's like a nap car, but I wanted to watch a race car related movie. Yeah
(35:25):
That's not the kind of moot like we don't really will feral movies not our like
Else is the only one that my mom likes like you should be screaming Josh. I just since in it
Okay. Well that might be a turning point, but I mentioned I was like, I don't know. I'm watching something racing movies
I think I might watch Talladega nights
My dad was like well make sure to tell your brother because he it's like one of his favorite movies
(35:48):
I watched Talladega nights. I was like kind of angry because it wasn't good
Yeah, it's a welfare like
I
Had the kids kind of love it
So I text my brother afterwards who for context is oh god. How old am I?
24 25. I'm 25 so he's
(36:11):
32
No, how old is he? I don't know eight years older than me. God knows he has three children
I text him I
Said I just watched Talladega nights. This is a 7 30 p.m. And he's in the Eastern time zone
So 8 30 p.m. For him. He responds immediately in all caps with you have made me spill my macchiato. I
(36:38):
Said it was atrocious. I kind of loved it
To my throbbing member text as well
Yeah, that it tends to happen to me people suggest things and I'm like, I hate that so much. Absolutely. Um
His only response was really I drive formula. Mmm, and now
like the entire
(37:00):
What's his name?
Cuz Sasha Sasha Baron Cohen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah him as the French Formula One driver as a Formula One fan is the funniest thing
I've ever seen I
Should go back and rewatch it. You should have all this information from you
You should watch that when I was like because all I could think was the two Alpine drivers are both French
(37:20):
Esteban O'Connor Pierre Gasly and I was like, I don't understand like if I were a French Formula One driver, I would be quoting
That character like I would constantly be like I drive formula like
Constantly I mean I incite the spirit of Ricky Bobby constantly like whenever I need like having you to speed like
(37:44):
Whenever I'm driving fast, I'm like Ricky Bobby feel like cuz there are some things like my brother quotes
I don't even know like Austin Powers and movies and things that I've just been hearing quotes my entire life
I might from my dad
You were like I've just like absorbed quotes from them without knowing what they're from and I do feel like I have
Unintentionally used don't you put that evil on us Ricky Bobby? Like I feel like I've definitely said that without knowing
(38:09):
What that is from or what the context is
but the formula
It murdered my piece why I
Just don't understand why all of the Formula One drivers aren't constant like quoting that constantly. The other one is um cars
I don't know why I listen to a podcast where they interviewed an iconic IndyCar driver David Malukis
(38:30):
Who's like Gen Z meme king of IndyCar and I love him so much and he watches cars literally like on a constant
Yeah, well, he's like our age maybe a little bit younger
But he loves cars and they asked him they were like when you get in the car
Do you just like I am speed and he was like not really but I did say it like at least a couple of times
(38:52):
I was like I would be saying it all the time
I watched it with my nephew like the first I still haven't like I mean I've seen it all the way through but like a
Long long time ago cuz I remember Porsche. I think we went in the theaters
But like it had been a long time
It was long time for me
I did not remember the intro of it where he's like sleeping in the truck and then he like that's how he like gets into the
(39:14):
radiator springs and my nephew
I mean, he's like not even two yet, but he has got this movie down pat. Yeah, like he says cow when they're the tractor
Cows, so I think I'm like, do you think that's a cow like we need to have a talk. Um
But and the way he likes we drove him
To like a town that sounds really sketchy
But we had to like we were driving with him in the car. We listened to life is a highway the entire way there
(39:39):
And he just says hi and it's the cutest thing
But yeah, I was struck by how good that movie. It's so good. Why is it like a rom-com?
But if all the people were ours
And it's just so fascinating how they like it's objectively hilarious. Also, like
It's one of those great, you know Pixar movies. That's also funny for adults
(40:02):
There are so many
Just like absolutely kill me lines my email signature not so much for um
Like if I'm writing like kind of a higher up co-worker that I don't know very well or if I'm writing like an author or something
I don't use this as my I just have my standard work signature
But if I'm more but if I'm writing to like somebody I know or like an influencer or something
(40:23):
I will sign my emails off now with ca chow for now
And I I don't know if anybody's noticed except Estelle and like, you know on the team I was like guys
Do you think I could get away with the email signature ca chow for now? And they were like I actually demand that you do that
For now ca chow for now and I just say a lot. It's a great word
(40:47):
Also Estelle sent me a Cars Land Christmas playlist including some songs that are just like about Santa driving pickup trucks or whatever
But also some songs that are from some Mater and Luigi album
And the absolute best song on it is Jingle Bells D Luigi
And it's Luigi singing Cars theme Jingle Bells and it's excellent
(41:12):
That's what I feel about the SpongeBob Christmas songs
Straight enough to be
SpongeBob Patrick why'd you do this to me?
We were a Santa's coming tonight tonight Santa's coming tonight family
We were really annoying about it. My parents hated that song by the end of Christmas Eve every year
(41:35):
As they should because we were annoying
But in our defense Santa was coming tonight tonight. Yeah, and there's a Shrek Christmas one. That's great
Yeah, there's like a whole Nickelodeon like
Separate like Christmas. We've been watching a lot of Rugrats Christmas. My sisters and big into Rugrats right now
(41:57):
We'd like to rewatch the bewitched Christmas episodes. Those are always fun. I've been watching the Bob's Burgers. I started with the Thanksgiving ones
But then now I've like started to like go into their Christmas ones because they have so many different Christmas
And it's just so comforting that show is so weird and I love it so dearly
Tina you get me
(42:19):
Not maybe a good thing, but it's the right thing
And also my mom is so Linda. My dad is kind of Bob if he didn't cook
It's just perfect
Perfect
But yeah, well on that note yeah that's shaped up to be a
(42:40):
Christmas episode that we did not intend because Dash is quoting things
Listen
It's a gift that keeps on giving
Merry Christmas work that we weren't yeah, we weren't gonna give you a
Holiday Christmas episode because we simply don't want to be reading and recording on that but like well
(43:02):
Here's just like us forgetting to try to make you look at
This is yeah, normally we normally we hit we hit end and then we have like an hour conversation
So you're just privy to it. Yeah
There are a few book recs in there. I would just really just focus on the vellas
look up the
Duke in a box anthology from last year look at all those because they're now starting to be like independently published because you can't buy that one anymore
(43:28):
On good reads. I have like my top favorite. I think it's like six
that I really liked
Actually, I loved I loved them a lot and I'm gonna read those and
There are just a few other novellas that are like coming out. I know Leanna de la Rosa has one
It's like the commander's Christmas wife or something something like that
that I want to read and
(43:49):
not much else, so
you got formula one and
Christmas movie reenactment
Instead I don't know what more you could possibly want the vibes all I want for Christmas is
Whatever that was
Exactly, and I think you would also like I saw somewhere an f1 romance my
(44:12):
I'm just gonna drop like an f1 romance novella one day
I'm gonna be like a surprise here it is and it's gonna be based on the fact that at the Las Vegas GP
There is a trackside chapel called race to the altar, which is not gonna be called
It's gonna be called race to the altar like I think you need to like somehow
Just put it on good reads
Are like oh this is gonna exist at some point. I can't take the title and then you just got it
(44:37):
I mean even if somebody has the title it'll be fine. There are lots of books with the same title
Listen like that's the most romance novel coded thing I've ever heard that is race to the altar
A Vegas chapel at the side of the track
It's gonna happen and also specifically I'm like how can I finagle my way into like an oops we got married
But we have to just go with it
(44:58):
Situation you know what I mean?
Well I mean if it's Vegas
And there's a chapel
Right like I feel like it writes itself
You know I agree
It's designed to be a romance novel
And I think it should be me
If I were to drop anything I think it would have to be like
(45:20):
And it happened one night
Romance because that's like a Christmas movie but like she's a like a petty thief basically and he's the lawyer
Or the prosecutor I guess who's like supposed to like put her in jail lock her up, but it's like the holidays
And so normally the jury is let especially women go over the holidays because that's just so cruel of them
(45:42):
But he's kind of a jerk and good at his job
So he like gets them to basically pause the trial until after the holidays
So she's got to go to jail during that
And he feels bad about it so he's like he goes to the bond guy or whatever
He's like don't like here's this whatever
(46:05):
And then he the bonds guy ends up delivering her to his house
Because the guy thought that he was like wanting to sleep with her in like a luxury way
And he like it's like no that's not what was happening here
And she's like oh it's not good
You mean I can leave and he's like yeah please leave actually I'm going home to my family
And she's like well no I'll stay then
Because like I don't have anywhere to go but also like you weren't kicking me out so now I can stay
(46:29):
And then he's like well no I'm leaving
And then it turns out they have family in like the same area
So what do they do it's a road trip
This is the historical romance
Yep
Slay
Yep
That was a slay
So slay
Like I need
So slay
I need oh slay S-L-E-H
(46:51):
Yeah
G no
E-I-G-I-G-H
Not you not me
I can't see things in my head so it gets very hard spelling out loud
S-L-E-A-I-G-H
No there's no A
S-L-E-I-G-H
I was saying E but like the A because the sound is A not an I oh my god
S-L-E-I-G-H yes
(47:13):
Though
But yeah it happened when like I need
Like cause like in which Margo Halifax like she's not a thief
Like I just really need the specific dynamic of a barrister and like a petty thief and I know it's out there
I know it has to exist so if you have read
If you have read one because the only one close enough
(47:34):
Write the romance you want to see in the world Hannah
Right so that's what that's the point that we were trying to make here is that if you ever see a random barrister times petty thief
Romance book
Novella probably
That would be what I would write because it's stuck in my brain ever since I saw it like a few years ago because it's like an old black and white one
I was saying it was it happened so the movie I was talking about was Remember the Night it happened when it was also very romance novel
(48:00):
Because that's
She's like an heiress and he's a reporter and it's like a train road trip kind of
A track trip
Why don't they make movies like this
And I know they have like a sheet that they have to put up because they're in only one bed situation or like only one room they put a sheet in the room
It's great
I know so good
Well this is this is a very
(48:26):
Remember the night is Christmas they're going to Christmas
And slams a door in his face
So Joey the month club
We are the romance of the month club
We're the gift that keeps on giving even when you don't want it to keep giving and it's been an hour and a half and you're like please stop giving and we're just going to keep giving
We are the jelly it's giving season
(48:49):
Have you seen that
It was just a tick tock that went viral of like a I can't remember what store it was
No somebody had put around Thanksgiving there was some store can't remember which one that had put it's giving season
And he was like why did I read it as it's giving season
And I was like that's funny because I also read it as it's giving season
(49:13):
And now I say that about anything seasonal it's giving season
That's so right
All right well this is our gift to you
This is happy holidays
Did we ever wrap up the other no we have to do that we have to do that we sure do yeah
(49:39):
Yeah so ho ho ho sleigh all day sleigh all night s l e i g h
Well done
Sleigh
Yay
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