February 16, 2024 • 64 mins
In which Caroline and Hannah confront their dad/daddy/papa kink, make jokes that have little-to-no context, and elope to Gretna Greenwich Village.
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Intro: (00:00)
- Don’t Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban - (00:15)
Outro: (50:24)
- Caroline’s F1 Update - (55:20)
Socials:
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(Disclaimer: Caroline works for Forever Publishing; all opinions are our own and not affiliated with any other party. Image by Freepik.)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Yon Cam. Why do you always start it when I'm yawning?
(00:04):
It just happened and then you were already mid-yawning and I was like oh. She's yawning.
So rude. I know. I'm so sorry. You should be.
Hello, throbbing members! I forgot about that!
I'd like it on record that she brought it back up. Thank you very much.
(00:24):
Oh, we weren't gonna let the throbbing members go flaccid.
We would never let you go flaccid. Never. Never ever.
Not when we looked into how to get that printed on a shirt for Steamy Lit.
We love our throbbing members.
So yeah, those will be happening just so you know.
(00:47):
Oh, nobody tell my parents or really anybody I'm related to.
I'd be so ashamed. Prefer not. But that's a Steamy Lit thing.
What happens at Steamy Lit stays at Steamy Lit.
Another Yon. I'm just really, really sleepy.
Yeah. I know the listeners are shocked.
If we ever did like a bingo, a bingo board of things on this podcast,
(01:12):
I feel like the free space would be Caroline being tired.
That's a good one. There's slash participant Caroline having a problem.
That, I mean, it's still happening. It's just immediate.
Is it really? Yeah. I mean, it's a short one.
It's happening this time. You're not in like existential crisis level.
Or that's like three paragraphs. This one is just like the one.
Oh. But guys, she's having a problem.
(01:36):
I thought she always. And that is.
We're tired and. Well, the real problem is that my mom is trying to make me get married
because we're broke because my dad who died was terrible and left us nothing.
But I'm having feelings for my best friend who happens to be a woman.
And that's, you know, that's great if it wasn't in like the eighteen hundreds.
(02:01):
Right. It would be even greater if our parents who definitely have a history would just hook up
and then I wouldn't have to marry this guy who's like nice, but being a lesbian
isn't ideal for me personally.
Listeners, have you guessed? Have you guessed which book we're talking about?
Thank you. I was like, what the fuck is happening?
(02:25):
So when is your mom forcing you to get married? What year is this?
We're just talking about this date. Yeah. And then I'm a cool cucumber.
I got it. Yeah. So yeah, I'm conflicted.
You got there. Yeah. It happened.
Another yawn. I should have a yawn. Sorry.
You should really. I should have a yawn.
I'm like really. I don't know what's going on.
(02:52):
Don't want you like a best friend. That's the book.
Oh, you have to say that.
Blank vacant stare count one.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, that's the book.
It is by Emma R. Elvin. We have.
(03:14):
Yep. Yep.
Prepared very little for this season. Absolutely not at all.
This was decided like three hours ago. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I read this book three, four months ago.
Oh, well, I just read it, but I probably remember about the same amount as you.
Yeah. I'm going to go with that.
I'm going to go with I remember. I mean, I really enjoyed it.
(03:37):
So like I know the main points. It's the in between.
Isn't that always how they getcha? Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Well, no spoilers because this is our recommendation episode.
Maybe we'll save spoilers for the end if we have.
Yeah, we can just. Yeah.
(03:58):
Um. I guess I don't quite know what would really be considered a spoiler.
Because like it's a romance. I mean, that's true.
And I don't remember anything enough to spoil it on a deeper level.
Then they get. I was going to say, like how the conflict is resolved, I think, is a spoiler.
Can I be honest, you'd be spoiling spoiling it to me right now.
(04:21):
Incredible. So we're good.
I'm just letting them know it's no spoilers on my end and apparently on yours,
because you don't remember what the spoilers are, which is great.
I know, I know, I know. For this episode.
I do. I do. I specifically do because it could have been resolved way sooner.
(04:46):
And that was my one gripe is that I was like it's getting drawn out for.
Not that there was no reason, but I was like,
this just didn't need to be as drawn out of a third conflict as it was.
It could have been resolved much sooner, I think.
Mm hmm. But that's OK.
It is. The premise is, as mentioned.
(05:11):
Yes, it's actually Caroline's memoir. It's my memoir.
It's actually like a lesbian retelling of the parent trap.
But instead of being separated twins, they're just girls who are really into each other.
And let me tell you, I did not expect people to be up in arms
about the parents hooking up and getting together.
(05:31):
Who was up in arms? I have seen several people
around the Internet being like that's incest.
It is in fact not incest. I know.
But they were like, I can't believe they got together after the parents got together.
I'm like, have you never seen like have you never seen Drive Me Crazy?
(05:52):
The parents are shippin and then they're shippin.
I haven't. Regardless.
It's a fantastic movie.
But like that's the exact same thing that happens.
But if they're already adults when they meet and when their parents get together, it doesn't matter.
I was I don't comment negatively on people's things, but that was a close call.
(06:12):
I was just like, what are you talking about? Like what?
Yeah. So this, I guess, is like technically a mild spoiler, but like, you know, it's going to happen.
Guys, it's like if you go in with a parent trap.
Right. Like, you know that these two are going to get their parents together.
Well, that's why I was so confused when they were confused, because they're like, we knew it was going to be a parent.
I'm like, then what the hell are you doing here?
(06:32):
But it's not like the problem with step sibling things is when they were raised together as siblings.
If it's the clueless of it all, like they're adults when they became step siblings.
So it doesn't matter.
Yeah, like I don't I guess they didn't have the formative experience with my life with Derek.
(06:53):
Like I did, but I also didn't. I just have common sense.
I mean, that's true. I mean, my life with Derek, they also were like older.
I mean, they weren't like adults, but they were.
They didn't think they were siblings.
Sure. And there was no like there was extreme chemistry, but nothing in the script was ever like.
I don't think they ever even kissed.
(07:14):
Well, I personally I will die on the hill that clueless did nothing wrong.
So I know I fucking love clueless.
I know. I'm with you. That's my that's my.
Formative opinion on me to step sibling romance.
And again, these two were lovers before their parents got together.
I mean, they were like in the past, they had had a past together, but currently they were not.
(07:39):
So it was just a very weird take for me to see.
I was like, well, can suck.
Yeah, my toes.
Bringing the little Lorraine Heath into it.
Actually, I saw a tick tock. There's this woman who pops up on my tick tock feed and she's like a high school teacher.
And the videos I see her come up are just her saying things that students have said to her or in front of her that have left her speechless.
(08:03):
There are some excellent ones.
My personal favorite is one guy slapped his like friend's ass as he was walking by him and she said that's not appropriate.
And the friend whose ass had been slapped said, actually, miss, I consented.
And then they both went consent boy.
Which gives me hope for the future.
However, that's not why I brought this up.
(08:24):
The reason I brought it up is because she thought she was going to have to step into a fight in the cafeteria when she was on lunch duty.
And then one of the girls said, you can suck these fat hanging lips and then walked away.
And that has been burned into my brain.
(08:46):
It's so visceral.
Pass.
No comment.
No, I'm a big fan.
I've been on Hoof Talk, if you're curious.
I don't even know what that means.
(09:08):
I didn't either until two days ago.
Like farriers, like taking care of horses hooves?
But they're cowhives.
Oh, my apologies.
I am acquainted with the farrier who comes to take care of my horse.
So there's like Nate the hoof guy.
Sure.
And he must have been working on all dairy cows because I don't think there was a penis amongst them.
But yesterday, very specific thing.
I know the algorithm took me to another hoof guy who just was working on this bull.
(09:34):
OK, first of all, ugly hooves.
Dairy cows, pristine, beautiful, dainty.
Love them.
Bulls?
I'm just there.
What shape is that?
OK.
And then I was like, what is that in the background?
Yeah, it's a big bull penis and big bull balls.
(09:56):
I was like, oh, my God.
And then after the poor bull is just waddling out because they couldn't really help his abscess.
And he just shits everywhere.
He's covered in shit.
Oh.
I was like, where have I ended up?
And no one commented on it.
I went into the comments to be like, is no one going to comment on that bull just pooping his pants?
(10:20):
Well, he's not wearing pants in his defense.
He had enough poop on him that it looked like pants.
I don't know.
And I think about the hoof guy being that close to the rear end.
I don't know what happened.
Well, a lot of things.
Wow.
That's my anecdote for the week.
(10:41):
Wow.
When in doubt, being hung like a bull.
Like a bull? Like a horn?
Yeah.
Hung like my dad.
Timothy Chalamet? No.
That's my favorite SNL skit at the moment is Timothy Chalamet and Marcelo Hernandez doing the babyface rap.
(11:02):
It's a wild time.
But one of the lines is I got a babyface, but I'm hung like my dad and it takes me out every single time.
It's so funny.
Whoo.
Should look it up.
Yeah, none of this is relevant.
No, but mildly traumatizing.
How did we get here?
(11:24):
You were on the teacher's talk.
Suck my fat hanging lips.
I mean...
Oh, the people who think the step sibling thing is weird because their parents eventually got together can suck my fat hanging lips.
That was where I was going with that.
(11:45):
Yep.
Which now that I've said it as a phrase, don't love, however, it does make me think of the Bo Burnham song.
There's a Bo Burnham song where you think that he's the fighting couple that he's playing and both sides making up, but then she's like, suck my clit and it makes me laugh.
Anyway, suck something.
(12:08):
Because the parents, I was almost more invested in their relationship.
I was so invested.
I was really invested.
They were hot.
They were.
Good for them.
He was hot.
Growing up, I've seen you said that you were very into Poseidon and obviously when you read The Perch of Jackson, you probably didn't have thoughts about Poseidon.
(12:29):
I didn't until this TV show and I understand Sally Jackson on a new level.
We're of the age where I was listening to an audio book, a YA audio book, and I was so attracted to the father.
I was like, how have we gotten here?
I was like, he sounds so hot and he was a loving parent.
I was like, that was very lucky.
He cast whoever the guy is that plays Poseidon to play the dad in this book and it would accent.
(12:53):
Delicious.
Also, like the scene when he and Sally are sitting next to each other talking, but they won't look at each other.
But these parents just make a lot of sense.
They were hot.
They were just Sally and Poseidon coding.
I really enjoyed the parent, like the double relationship.
(13:14):
And then there was the hints of what's coming in book two and then it was released after I read it.
So like the summary and all that.
So it was confirmed to be the two guys and I am very happy.
But yeah, those parents, I was I don't know if it's pervy or whatever, but I was sad to be shut out of their sex scene.
I was like, God damn it, I have popcorn for two of tiramisu for two.
(13:41):
This is eighty five dollars worth of tiramisu for two that I came prepared for and instead closed door closed door because we got an open door scene of the two heroines.
But I was also looking for just a little action shot of Papa didn't like that.
(14:06):
No, I don't know why I thought that would be all daddy, but it's not.
It's worse. Father is even worse.
Father, help.
I just wanted to see that because they were like their chemistry was so good that like I was ready and alas.
Well, since the story was told through the two heroines, neither of them wanted to see their parent.
(14:33):
I mean, very true. Maybe that's another issue.
I didn't like the third person president.
So let's just change the tense completely. Let's do third person omnipresent so we can get in that bedroom, fly on the wall, see what those parents do.
You need to read some Lisa Clayfus or something.
I do. I mean, she's just having everyone.
(14:54):
It's like in other people's books, it's just frickin Saint Vincent.
And here is Sebastian fucking his wife who he loves so much and will he will tell you all about it.
Let's bring that back.
Let's bring it back.
(15:15):
Oh, God, I love Lisa Clayfus's obsession with the Saint or the Shalons.
Yeah, because I do.
I do want to see what Sebastian and Evie are getting up to and everybody else's books because it's just like you always want more of the couples that you love previous.
And then she just knows the couples that she loves.
So then she just like, I'm going to just keep writing them.
(15:38):
And I respect it. So that's my one plea.
Well, it would not have made sense.
No, but alas, they were hot.
Maybe that would be a good Emma.
Emma, what's her last name? Alvin. Yep.
If you I need to check if you have a newsletter and sign up for it.
(15:59):
If so, I'm sure you do.
But if you wanted to release a bonus scene.
Yeah. Of the parents, I would read the heck out of it.
Yes. Yes, I would do that.
Be amazing and very, very loved by me.
(16:20):
But not to digress too far.
The main relationship I still really liked. It was a really good transfer lovers, which is not technically a trope that I like eat up.
You know, when it's done well, it's done well.
But when it's not, it's just really slow.
But I loved the drama and the friendship between them.
And there's just something about them both having to like take off each other's courses and stuff, like undress each other that way.
(16:46):
That was just so delicious.
I mean, we love a historical romance with all the layers.
And just so well when they both have like all those layers.
It does make me laugh thinking about like the hoop skirts. Yeah.
Can you imagine like this?
(17:07):
There's a bubble around me.
I just imagined face hitting with a hoop skirt is what went through my brain.
Well, you got like a whole dome.
It's the Thunderdome.
Why would you say this?
It's the Vegas fear.
You want to hear this is a digression.
(17:30):
My favorite thing that possibly anyone has ever said to me is my friend Alicia, who is on the socials in the book places and dabbles in historical romance.
But we were D.M.ing about this date that I went on and she was saying like, oh, so like romcom of you.
(17:52):
And I was like, if the romcom started on Tinder, lol.
And she's like, oh, so it's contemporary, not historical.
But then said something about I can't remember what exactly the joke that she made was, but made something about like no eloping to Gretna Green or what you say Gretna Greenwich.
To Gretna Greenwich Village unless he's like kidnapping you or something.
(18:16):
No, it took me out. I was like, oh my God.
No eloping to Gretna Greenwich Village.
So shout out because that is fucking hysterical.
And now I want to write like a novel where they eloped to Gretna Greenwich Village.
Love. Yeah, that really took me out.
Love that. Anyway, our digression should be that that that quality content, not dirty bull.
(18:47):
What we contributed was hoof talk. What our friend contributed was pure genius.
Unicorn level. Unicorn level. Yeah.
What were we talking about?
Um, damn it. Their relationship, friends, lovers, hoop skirts, Las Vegas sphere. Got it. The hoop skirts.
(19:11):
We're there. We're there.
Yeah, it was great. It was really fun.
Look, I don't know. It's not even that late. I'm just so tired.
It was great. Secondary plot. Excellent. Primary plot. Excellent.
(19:35):
Very excited about the next book. I got it. I just it was fun. My one gripe was just how drawn out the third act was.
See, I ate it up. Like I was. I think if you were here for like the drama. Yeah.
Which I sometimes am, sometimes I'm not sure. But this one, I had a really good time.
I think I wanted them to be together just a little bit longer. That makes sense. I would have liked to see them.
(19:58):
Because like you get a lot of time with them as friends. Yeah.
And then you briefly get them realizing their feelings for each other and then.
You should hit the pan.
And you know, homophobia in the 1800s. Yes. That'll do it. Every time.
Stop bringing up livestock.
(20:20):
Stop a noble steed.
Yeah, but it was it was it was good. I just wanted them to be happy.
It's very valid. I also thought it was like YA when I first saw the cover.
So I was pleasantly surprised that it's kind of like it felt new adultish.
(20:43):
Like just like sometimes there are like historical romances that are like written a little bit more modern,
but they're still like historical romances. Like it felt like a nice kind of just like fresh.
Like a slightly older target audience version of Queen Bee. Yeah. Yeah.
(21:05):
Because I mean, oh, those are SMP titles. Never mind. Oh, Queen Bee isn't, is it? No, no.
That's Dre Revolution.
But there are there are like a few others that like Bell Bell Guard by Jamie Lilac.
I really enjoyed that one. That one is that one's YA.
(21:26):
But it's like if you took She's All That, I think, and like put it in a YA setting, it was like very fun.
Because I could definitely see people being like, that's too modern.
But it was a very just fun thing to read, especially if like you're an actual young adult.
Like maybe getting into the genre for the first time.
It was really fun. And so I like I'm always on the lookout for like young adult historical romance.
(21:51):
I still need to read the Sarah McLean one. I think Sophie Jordan maybe has a series, too.
And so this one felt like a nice blends of they were like in their 20s, like early 20s, I think. Right.
But it just felt felt nice. And I just liked the.
(22:14):
I was prepared to be like angry or like tired of her being put in the path of like men or like one of the heroines had to be like she was like being courted or whatever.
And I didn't like I can't talk. I ended up really enjoying the drama and like getting to know like all the different like people of that.
(22:39):
Whatever. Not class, but.
Like, you know, you have like a classic in high school, but like the debut or the season season, like the people who are participating in the season.
I was like, I don't know, or you got a cohort going.
I didn't know what I was talking about. But it definitely made book to like it opened the gates for the book to.
(23:06):
And I'm very excited to see how that goes, because was he the cousin?
Yeah, he's the younger of the two cousins, because the older one is getting married.
And he was just a cool. He was a cool guy. He was just a cool guy. I liked him.
(23:28):
I'm so happy he's getting a book and just the person he's paired up with.
Do I remember that person's name or anything about him? No. No. Do I remember that they had chemistry?
Wasn't he the very standoffish? Yeah. Oh, oh, he's the the new heir.
And then look at to my. Well, I remember being confused about family lines for a second when I looked up the premise, because I was like, who?
(23:49):
But he's the new heir of. The one heroine's dead father.
Demarovian. So he has grown up. That's why he's here. Amazing.
So he's like he's he's the other heroine's cousin, so they're going to hook their cousins up.
Beautiful. If anybody wants to get mad about incest.
(24:17):
I also do love because I always in queer historical romances, I'm like looking for like the the lavender marriage option, because that's just the thing that makes the most sense to me in a historical context.
Yeah, because they actually did happen. And I think most queer historical romances don't do that because they want it to just be like they can be happy on their own terms.
And fair enough. But my thought is always, well, what if you just married two people?
(24:42):
Like, what if you did the lavender marriage thing? And so it does crack me up that she also was like, I have a genius idea.
You marry my cousin, I marry yours. We just have to get them to fall in love with each other.
And I was like, oh, my God, that's exactly the thought that I had, Queen.
It's a brilliant thought. What would make for a real fun book?
(25:04):
The answer is right there. Well, it will, because it's the next one. So I felt vindicated.
Amazing. I really have nothing else to say about this book.
I mean, I just love I love the premise. Parent Trap will always do it for me.
(25:28):
Gwen and Beth were their names. Wow. Look at me go on my review.
The audiobook is great, too. Is it? I mean, you may not be able to do it because of your tense issues.
I don't care about present tense. But it's dual narration.
Mary Jane Wells does one and Morag Sims does the other.
(25:49):
I know I got the whole came in from my Libby and then I just delayed it after you texted about before.
And I was like, well, there's no time for me to read it anyway. I still hate it.
I know. Well, that's because I started the audiobook of The Cat Sebastian when you could be so good.
And I couldn't do it. And then I had the physical copy. And so I just read that.
(26:12):
And I mean, this one, I literally was changing the tense as I read.
Like, I read that book in past tense because I'm insane.
It worked better than you would have thought. So I would be interested to know how the audiobooks.
I saw Mary Jane Wells, I think, when I was looking, I was like, I just don't know why.
(26:34):
And I mean, I wish I didn't have the issue. And it doesn't like it works for me in first person present tense.
Some people also don't like that, but that works because that to me makes sense.
I guess it's like upping the drama. Like if this is happening to the character in first person, they don't know what's happening.
It's current. But like third person, it just is weird. And there's just a lot of like s's.
(26:57):
I just don't have this issue. I'm listening to you trying to be like, damn, that's rough.
I feel like a dude and you're trying to open up to me about your feelings. I am.
I'm like, that sucks. It does. Does. Because me personally, I don't.
I just know it's so many like books. I just I'm like, I can't be doing this, but I want to be doing it.
(27:26):
It's just it's just I don't know. And I don't know when I discovered that, like, it doesn't work.
Like, how did I come to I don't know. Same thing with Rosalind Landor.
I woke up one day and was like, God damn. I also don't like cumin, if you're wondering.
I mean, like, I hate cumin. I thought you said human.
(27:48):
And I was like, what? I hate human. I'm an alien.
Just thought you. Wow. You've got just like a lot of really strong opinions.
I do, too, but not any of these. Yeah.
Yeah. My big three apparently are cumin, Rosalind Landor.
And third person present tense.
(28:13):
I don't know what my big three would be.
One of them is use. And this is a direct call out to Dana, who I haven't told her about this.
Use guys are like, yeah, like if you want to do this. Oh.
In place, you guys or the plural you or the superior option, y'all.
(28:34):
Yeah. Which is right there.
Dana, if you're listening, I have never heard you say use before until the past couple of weeks.
And every time you do, I am taken aback. However, I haven't told this to your face yet.
So this is how you're finding out. You're in Caroline's big.
No, no, no, not that one. Oh. But I was texting my dad about it because I was like, I've never heard this before.
(28:56):
Is this like a northeast thing? And he said yes. And also, there's an even worse one because use.
I'm at least like I'm taking it back. But, you know, it is what it is.
The worst one, however, is I think he said it's from East Pennsylvania or something.
I don't know, but it's yin's listeners.
If one of you says yin's, I'm so sorry, but we in place of what?
(29:19):
Y'all or you or news, yin's, yin's, yin's.
This is what he says. Dislike, dislike intensely.
And it's just so confusing because y'all is right there. It's the perfect second person plural.
It is. Y'all. Yeah. Yins. Yins. Yins gonna need.
(29:42):
Don't adopt this right now. I'm not going to adopt it.
I can't. I saw a light bulb go on. I did. I was like, well, I could see.
I could see how you maybe yin's want to go over to the absolutely not.
What if you would have y'all need to go to the inn? Yins go to the inn.
Y'all. Y'all go. You said it when you started.
(30:05):
I would never. I would never use. That's one of my big three.
I don't know what the other two are, but one I currently use yin's.
Good to know. Yeah. I also hate like spaghetti with red sauce.
That's more than. Well, that's because you don't like tomatoes.
No, I don't. So particularly in their red sauce form and the smell of ketchup.
If it's like sat out for like a half hour. Disgusting.
(30:30):
But yin's. Maybe up there.
Which is worse? Vote in the comments. Yin's or the smell of half hour old ketchup.
Ketchup is nasty when it sits out for like. It's just not.
It smells so disgusting. This is a you problem.
(30:51):
And it's one that I don't think a lot of people have in common with.
I feel like old ketchup is a universally hated smell when you.
I don't think that it is because I don't even know what you're talking about.
I don't know how you don't know that.
I just. Ketchup. This is a you problem.
It's a yin's problem. It's a yin's.
(31:14):
No, it's not yin's. It's just you. Single person or a single second person.
I have someone else in my army. Please let me know.
Listener, if you also retch at the smell of nasty old ketchup.
I'm also just not a huge ketchup person. I know at all.
But. I like.
(31:38):
There's so old. Icky.
Yeah, that would have to be my top. Just nasty.
Yeah, this is so that's my starter pack of things that I hate.
There's probably more. I'm sure there are tabby.
(32:00):
The shoes, not the cat.
Oh, I don't even know what that is. Google tabby shoe.
OK, I'm going to be made fundamentally uncomfortable.
I did immediately think of the cat. No tabby cat. You're cool.
If you can rock tabbies, more power to you. I would simply not rock them.
(32:24):
I'd launch them. Oh, this is why you're on hoof talk.
I don't like that. Why does that exist?
They were like in the fashion week, too, like they were like on those models,
but they were having a moment before that. Yeah, I don't know.
Well, that's horrible.
That's up there, but not relevant enough in my life to place in the top three.
(32:46):
I don't think I don't think I've ever seen someone.
It's in it's in like the there are a couple of spheres.
You know, you got the small circle of like the top three and they've got like the next wrong.
Probably like the next string out of that is the tabbies for me.
OK, yeah. Little bits of onion that don't cook down.
I don't like the texture. You've got like a lot of issues to work through.
(33:10):
I do. I can't even think off the top of my head or like, what are the things?
I don't know. I'm sure if I encountered them, I would have them.
But like, I don't I can't think of things off the top of my head that are like
these are the things I hate the most to bring it back to books in contemporary
when men say she's so fucking beautiful.
Like 10 times during the book, I'm like, oh, my God, get a new word.
(33:33):
I mean, that's fair. That's valid.
I'm like, you got to know another word. You got to know another way to say that
she's hot and gets your engine revving rather than she's so fucking beautiful.
I would actually love if they said they she got their engine right.
I'm surprised that didn't come up.
Actually, you know what? It might have come up in one of the Lauren Asher books I just read.
(33:55):
I feel like at one point somebody did say that.
I can't be quoted, but I do. That rings a bell.
Nice. So it might have happened.
Yeah. Yeah, I got nothing.
I'm really sorry.
Now you guys know a lot more about what I don't like.
(34:17):
Apparently, I'm just got I'm waiting in the wings.
Yeah, evidently.
Cool. Well, oh, I do have one not using the Oxford comma.
That's my true. That's it just pisses me off because it's not like a hard thing to do.
And it just makes things more clear.
The distinction between having APA, MLA, like all the different a like all the different formats.
(34:44):
Like, why? Why don't we just have?
Well, that's not like really relevant to my life anymore, although I do agree.
Well, it's because like if you see like a news headline, there's no Oxford comma.
And I'm just like, but but there could be there could be, though, is that and that's that's when it is.
I'm like, abolish APA. And I'm like, usually is it something that I can figure out with context?
Yes. Yeah. But sometimes it's not.
(35:06):
And so if it was just standard practice to use an Oxford comma, which isn't like a difficult thing that takes time or makes.
Listen, I am pro Oxford comma.
Me too. That would actually break apart the podcast.
That's true. That's true.
I can't associate with anti Oxford commas.
(35:29):
No. The anti ox co's.
I'm trying to figure out how I win.
Those anti oxconians.
Anti oxidites.
Stupid.
(35:51):
Anti oxidant. No.
Wow. Oh, look at us.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Paul read.
He could be a father in my life in a non related way.
(36:17):
I understood what you meant when you said it, similar to how I feel when I read a sentence that doesn't have an Oxford comma, but could use one.
Just would have preferred something a little different, you know.
Just yeah, sometimes sometimes the voice that these narrators do for the fathers just really work. Well, there's something hot about a single dad. We know this. That's why there are so many single dad romances slash men who have taken on fathering roles in romance.
(36:49):
And now all of them in my head look like that guy who plays Poseidon in the Percy Jackson show. He's so daddy.
He is.
And I don't say that lightly.
I throw Pookie around pretty lightly, but daddy, not so much.
Okay. I love Pookie.
(37:10):
Look, a Pookie is a Pookie, but a daddy, you know him when you see him, you know, and Poseidon. I have never related more to Sally Jackson.
Me also in the holiday and Jude Law.
That's valid. Mr. Napkinhead and Mr. Daddy.
Him.
Well, now we have to do an episode on single dads slash dad here or like father figure heroes and then cast them.
(37:38):
Yeah, I've just birthed an episode idea.
Guys, she birthed an episode. Just like Zeus and Athena. Just jumped straight out of my head, fully formed.
Spoiler alert. Every single one of them is going to be the guy who plays Poseidon for me. I do have. So I finished the show because we binged it this weekend.
(38:00):
I do have to say, why did they know all of what was going to happen on each of their little quest items before they got in?
Like, you're like, you're procrastinate. And I was like, you're supposed to figure it out when you tied you to the bed.
I'm very confused.
They studied the mega magic or whatever those are.
Myth-o-magic.
I was just like, I think because it would have taken too much time.
(38:22):
And that's also why, because the battle like my only two qualms where the battles were short and I get that because there weren't any huge battles in the.
It just felt very anticlimactic when like you're telling me no spoilers for people haven't watched it.
You're telling me the big versus, you know, who's that?
That was water. I'm talking about like along the way, like Medusa, like all those kind of like I was just very I enjoyed it.
(38:48):
It could not because she was creepy as shit.
She scared me. I liked that. But even then they like that one was the most surprising, I think, to them.
I just want them to be surprised more. And I get that time constraints and all of that.
And I think because my parents are watching with me, too, and they were confused on things like they didn't know about the blue.
Like she was making the blue pancakes and the blueberries at the end. And I was like, do you guys know why they're blue?
(39:12):
They're like, no, I think that was probably they were like, we don't have time to explain that.
Exactly. So there were some things that.
Or like what or like they when they said Procrustes didn't really explain that he was the stretcher.
And so like my mom was just like, cool. Procrustes.
But overall, it was very good. I'm very excited for season two.
(39:38):
And those kids can act. The guy who plays Ares, his forehead can act.
That vein popping out. Not daddy, but that's a father.
A little bit scary. His vein was really going for it.
Yeah. Honestly, Hermes was kind of daddy.
(40:03):
All right. People are complaining about Lin as Hermes. I loved it.
I was like, he could kind of get it. Like, he could actually get a little bit of it.
I saw somebody do this whole TikTok about how they didn't understand the casting of Lin-Manuel Miranda as Hermes
because Hermes is notoriously like the god with the most kids at camp.
Yeah. And so they were like, you're telling me this is who you chose to be.
(40:24):
That's where I was like, he's charming. He's not the most attractive physically.
It's the Riz. It's the ooh. And listen, I'm not attracted to Lin-Manuel Miranda, but like, I understand.
I wasn't. I thought he did great. I thought he was a great Hermes.
(40:45):
And I believed that he had all those kids. Yeah. I was honestly just the only thing I was confused about was how Poseidon
didn't have more, except that then, of course, Sally Jackson is Sally Jackson.
I'll be interesting what happens with Paul Bifter.
I don't know how they're going to top Poseidon. Because I did love Paul.
I volunteered to top Poseidon, but like, I don't know how they're going to, you know?
(41:07):
You're right. I did really enjoy Paul, though, in the books. So I'd be kind of sad.
I know, but I didn't really enjoy Poseidon in the books. And I mean, that's very true.
I was like, well, because I was also 12. It'd be true. Also, that's so true.
But I was like, I don't really get why Sally. And I ate all my words and my tongue, frankly,
when that man walked into that restaurant, I was like, I take it all back.
(41:28):
Well, and the way he's describing the books is like Bermuda shirts and like socks and sandals.
Like beach dad vibes. This man was an Australian daddy.
Nice linen unbuttoned shirt. And I said, oh, yeah, Bahama Mama me.
He showed up in the no spoilers, but when he showed up in the last episode, if you know what I'm talking about.
(41:50):
Oh, yeah, I was like, wait, what's happening?
And I was like, oh, Chris. Yeah, I did it for me.
Yeah, he was hot. Sally Jackson, the woman that you are.
Honestly, yeah, we should do a daddy episode. I agree.
I like I love I love both. I love a single mom and I love a single dad.
(42:13):
I just love kids in his local romance, especially so true because they're always so quirky and weird and Hellions or very cute or both.
And it's just so fun. And just like the dynamic of the other person, like becoming the parent figure.
Delicious. Yeah, delicious.
(42:37):
Someone on Twitter, she was looking for the scene in chasing Cassandra about the can I call him dad or whatever, because I already have a papa.
And then she thought it was in Forever Your Rogue. And then she was like looking for it.
And I was like, could we perhaps be thinking of chasing Cassandra?
(42:58):
And she was. I felt very happy to deliver that scene to her. And I had me like that entire scene highlighted in my Kindle Highlights.
So I was able to like screenshot it here. That's the scene.
Lisa said, what if I actually ripped your entire life apart? Because then there's also Basil in that book.
So it's like you've got to just Basil, my boy assaults on my femininity.
(43:23):
I like an already West Raven.
I was book was so like, here's just a man being wonderful with these kids.
And it was already gutting enough.
And then she said, oh, dad, I've already got a papa and I wouldn't want to confuse him with the one and have it shut up, Lisa.
And then West is crying because we're all and he's like, yeah, I love that.
(43:47):
Like, that's great. Thanks, buddy. And I'm like, well, now we're all crying.
And then Tom Severin was just kind of like flabbergasted.
Basil, my boy, we should do episodes like when we need to do an episode when we don't know what to do, pull out a Raven now.
(44:09):
Because I want to reread them.
And every time I read them, I like that more.
There's not there wasn't much to go up, but it just keeps happening.
Like Gabriel, I totally looked over you, King.
Now I love him like same thing with book one.
(44:30):
Gabriel Simmons. That is so funny to me.
Does he have a personality? Not really.
But he loves his wife. I love the like that one.
I just love the plot. No, that's so valid.
I just think it's funny that his whole personality is him loving his wife.
Like, yeah, Sebastian raised you so well.
Like there's something so hot about the shift of him not wanting to get married to her and then automatically just being like,
(44:53):
actually, this is what I was put on this earth to do.
I also think a lot about in that book when he has all these crises about how he has these predilections in the bedroom.
And he's like, I could never do that to a wife.
And then Sebastian St. Vincent bullies him.
(45:15):
And it's like, you fucking child. That's crazy.
We were doing like my grandparents were doing crazier stuff than you.
And then when he finally does anything, it's just I mean, it was hot.
But he just like ties her up with her corset laces.
And that was like it. I have my favorite historical romance things is my my predilections.
(45:38):
I could know they're horrible and these deep dark secrets.
And then it's like bondage. Yeah, that happens in a book.
One of the main lane. Yep. Yeah.
He just likes to like blindfold. Yeah.
To be fair, someone was murdered and put in that pose.
And so he was kind of true. The whole but like bag over their head.
It's still they talk so much about his.
(45:59):
I've been wanting to reread that book recently, too, just because I love Lazarus.
Yeah, I was so insane.
Um, I did not expect.
Thank you. I did not expect to love his book as much as I did.
It was fun. And then seeing him pop up throughout the series made a lot more sense.
You've got to read. I need to read the rest of the series, but you do have to read The Raven Prince.
(46:23):
Yes, there's one thing Elizabeth Hoy will do.
It's just go fucking crazy and then write some deeply explicit sex scenes that you're like, oh, my God.
I started to beguile a beast, I think, like when I was in my weird December slump.
I never finished it. It's not a hard DNF.
I don't even track it anywhere.
(46:45):
I was kind of just like looking for something to read one night and then it just never ended up happening again.
But I need to read more. I wanted to read more.
I think I heard those because those are like the four soldiers or whatever.
I think I heard those are like good, but they're not like peak Elizabeth Hoy.
Yeah, the way they need none of them had the convincing review that was like you will love it.
(47:09):
Like The Raven Prince was bonkers in a way that I think I mean, I could be wrong, I don't remember a ton about the plot, except for like the central thing.
But I was like, oh, my God, Elizabeth. Good.
That should go no business.
I've been thinking about rereading Daring in the Duke.
I've been thinking about rereading a lot.
I have because I don't like what do I read?
(47:32):
I'm reading Christina Britton's new book though right now.
Those poor people, they're so hurt.
I'm reading the Alyssa Cole like Civil War spies.
Or I read the first one.
I'm planning on reading the rest of it and that was great.
It was intense, but it was great.
Spies.
I like that.
(47:53):
Especially like the Civil War era not written by a white person.
Right.
Hot.
Because I encountered a hero who was basically Confederate.
Dare I say the only people I want to read.
Exactly.
I was like, why are we doing this?
Why is he sympathizing about his land being stolen?
Oh, no, no.
(48:14):
I was like, this isn't right.
No, Alyssa Cole.
Was he happy about it?
No.
It's not.
No one's sympathizing.
That is the correct.
Except for occasionally someone will be nice to them and they're like, it's so jarring
(48:35):
when people in the South are kind.
Yeah.
Which is fair.
But the rest of it was like, I'm Scottish, so fuck the South.
And then her being like, well, I'm a free black woman, so also fuck the South.
Nice.
I'll have to pick those up.
(48:56):
Do they have audio books?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
And I bought the entire Loretta Chase dressmaker series.
I know you read book one.
On a scale of one, to me, in a rage, because I know she's engaged or they're going after
different people, I believe.
He's engaged.
Like, how does that work?
(49:18):
I don't know that I'm blanking on the exact resolution.
I don't think you'd be in a rage.
I don't think it would be your favorite.
Yeah.
Well, book four is already, I started real strong with book four.
I mean, I could be wrong here.
I don't think you particularly care for it.
(49:39):
There is a small child.
Oh, I do love a small child.
That's what I'm stuck on is because I want to read that series and I want to read it
in order now.
But if there's a chance, and again, it's Loretta Chase, so it's not going to be terrible.
I'm just like.
I mean, that's also not my favorite trope.
And I didn't like, yeah, hate it.
I do remember being kind of annoyed at a certain point, but it's not it's not they don't get
(50:03):
to the altar.
Love that.
Because I just read what I don't think he said his vows.
Oh, yeah.
So that was fun for me.
I was like, he literally said them.
It was for reasons which I understood, but also I was like, what do you mean?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
That's all I got.
(50:26):
Nothing else to contribute here.
So we will be contributing later a daddy episode.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Featuring the daddies of Hollywood.
Yeah.
Or the untapped potential daddies.
I would love to see Dev Patel as a father or father figure.
(50:48):
Yeah, anyone who's older than me is just going to be considered potential.
I mean, technically fair enough.
Yeah.
Oh, like things will be done for that episode.
I'm excited.
So ominous.
Yep.
Oh, it's just going to be us objectifying them.
(51:14):
I feel like that's probably what I was put on this earth to do, if I'm being honest.
I just am so surprised.
Like, it was the moment, I think it was probably like a year or two ago when I was listening to that audio book, I was like, why am I so attracted to the father?
It's a problem.
The father.
The father.
(51:36):
Credit card?
You got it.
No, I get it.
And I want him to also have a credit card that he can pay off every month.
Generational wealth, please.
Anyway, sugar daddy?
Yeah.
We need enough generational wealth to drop $200 on a dinner.
(52:05):
No question.
I'm so embarrassed.
We'll see.
I'm going to get the shapes up.
Yep, that's us.
Just, we began this episode only dreaming about a daddy kink and now here we are.
I don't remember beginning the episode that way.
(52:28):
I feel like it was just in the state of mind.
Oh, well, yeah, always.
In the background.
Sure.
And then that we've exited with a drug.
Another yawn.
Deng, Deng.
Pursued by a bear.
You're so right.
I read another one where they were pursued by a bear.
What was that?
(52:49):
Another?
Yes.
Yes.
If I had a nickel.
You're right.
Did I put it in my story graph?
It's potential that I did.
I make very specific shelves on story graph.
Specifically, Goodreads story graph shelf labeled pursued by a bear.
Yeah, well, because Goodreads ones are public, but I don't think story graph ones are.
(53:12):
So I get a nitty gritty.
Bear.
I will find it.
There was another one.
I don't remember what it was.
I do think there's got to be some shelf on my story graph that will allow me to see the light.
Bear.
I don't know.
Okay.
(53:33):
Rawr or whatever bear.
Yeah, you did a good bear.
Thank you.
The claws.
Yeah.
The claws.
If you were like, why I didn't hear bear sounds because she was, the bear wasn't having her
body and doing the claws.
Sure.
It's method acting.
You wouldn't understand it's a theater major thing.
Yep.
Not a clue.
(53:55):
You could perhaps even call us clueless.
That was like, what are you saying?
Clueless with a step sibling romance.
Ooh.
Which brings us all the way back.
Look at that.
Don't want you like a best friend.
Go read the book.
Go request book two.
If you've already read book one and liked it on Netgalley, do the audio book.
(54:20):
If you don't, if your top three doesn't include for third person present tense or just present
tense at all.
Yeah.
It was just real good.
Dramatic.
Go watch The Parent Trap.
Go watch the original.
Go watch them all.
(54:41):
And.
Giving a lot of instructions.
Yeah.
And read some daddy things in preparation.
Yeah.
Yep.
Call me a fish.
I was floundering.
(55:03):
Thank you.
Call me Ariel because I have no words.
And floundering is excellent.
Wait, we have we have four minutes until an hour.
What's your Formula One update?
Ferrari revealed their new car.
It is shocker of all shockers.
(55:24):
Red.
But it is beautiful.
Big fan.
Landon Morris is posting things and he looks hot.
That's really all I've seen.
Christian Horner was under investigation for potentially harassing an employee, but I have
not heard anything about how that hearing went.
So I am who does he?
Oh, wait.
He is the team principal of a Red Bull.
(55:47):
Wait, I did not.
So didn't was it Lewis Hamilton who went to Ferrari?
He's going to at the end of this year.
He has one more season.
So did that or say that kick out?
Carlos signs.
Yeah.
Baby boy.
The Carlos fans are having a bad time.
Carlos may or may not be having a bad time.
Me personally.
(56:08):
I think that he wasn't going to resign with Ferrari anyway.
He had to resign.
Like he had to sign.
He was up.
His contract was up at the end of 2025 and they were more.
They were in talks.
I don't think he was going to resign, but I guess now we'll never know.
And he is kind of playing the victim, which he may be the victim, but also.
(56:33):
So he hasn't signed anywhere else.
No, no, no.
Well, but silly season is typically over the summer break is when a bunch of moves get made with the contracts.
Because they just jumped forward and were like, right.
So it's fair.
Well, it got leaked.
I don't think they were planning on announcing it, but it was it was a weird situation all around.
(56:56):
The Mercedes team principal didn't know until like a couple of days before he couldn't be there in person when they announced it to the rest of the team.
He didn't have time to get there.
Weird things were going on.
But a whole I think it's like 14 drivers contracts are up at the end of this year.
So last year it like nothing happened because everybody was still on contract.
So nobody really moved this year.
(57:17):
Silly season has begun in February 10.
Only 10 and there are two people, four people, two, two per team.
Yeah.
And do they all kind of just like stay?
How often do like new people come in?
Well, it used to be, I think, probably a bit more.
It depends.
It's kind of a big issue right now because you have people who have been in the sport for many, many years who are still hanging on.
(57:40):
And then there's like once you win Formula Two, you can't do it again.
So they're just kind of like reserve drivers or have to go do something else.
So it's a it's a whole thing.
We'll see when Lewis retires.
Fernando Alonso already retired, but then he came back.
Wait, Lewis is close to retiring.
We don't know.
We think so.
(58:01):
I mean, he's 39.
Hamilton?
That man is a 39 year old.
Yeah.
My God.
I know he's a very handsome man.
Daddy, dare I say.
Yeah.
Well, and we also think him moving to Ferrari is a sign because it seems like he's the Carlos.
Yes.
I think the goal is win a world championship with Ferrari and then retire.
(58:25):
But we'll see.
We have no idea.
Interesting.
He will be able to.
So that's the drama there.
But he has this whole season to get through with Mercedes first.
There's a whole other.
Yeah.
Oh, oh.
So normally it would have gotten announced like during the summer break in the middle
of the season.
But it got leaked and came out and things are weird.
(58:50):
That would be awkward.
Wow.
So it's not the first time somebody's announced early, but like now you have this whole season
where you have to drive with this other team.
And it's like, yeah, we're like still really dedicated to this team.
But you also know that you're leaving.
So if I was going nowhere, marry me and just did my whole life.
(59:14):
You sound like my sister in law.
She loves him.
Give me your money and.
Oh, yeah.
I'll give you the best years of your life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In my Honda.
You are Carlos Sines.
That would be a really smart move.
Uh huh.
Oh, no, it is probably on Audi anyway.
(59:37):
Hmm.
That's his dad is ties to Audi, but they're not joining until 26.
I don't think 25, 26.
I don't know.
Nobody knows as a car like they have a they'll take over.
They'll be a sponsor for the it was the Alfa Romeo team, but Alfa Romeo left.
But Sauber is still the sponsor.
(59:58):
But now they're the stake of one team, kick Sauber.
The stake.
Yeah.
S.T.A.K.E.
Stake F1 team, kick Sauber, who we don't know what I think was supposed to call them steak, but you can't advertise gambling in every country.
So they can't be called that in some countries.
Currently, my bit is that I'm going to be calling them stick of one team, kick Sauber the entire name, because if you're going to name your car something stupid, it deserves to be said.
(01:00:24):
But then when Audi joins, they'll take in for that.
Audi is easier to say.
I will admit that.
Yeah.
Huh.
There's a lot happening and all the car launches are happening.
So currently, the drama is that everybody keeps giving us like plain black carbon fiber cars with a little bit of color because to paint your car adds weight to it.
(01:00:46):
And everybody is not a lot, but apparently enough that everybody's like, what if we just put barely any paint on it, even though I really don't think that's making a huge performance difference.
So now all of us, the fans are looking at this going, guys, please, I beg of you, paint your car color because cars are going to crash and we're going to be like, oh, who is it?
(01:01:07):
It's a black car with like a stripe of color.
With the exception of like Williams is blue, Ferrari was always going to be red.
So, hooray.
They should all have to put a certain like a minimum amount of paint on the car.
I'm surprised that that's not a rule.
I have a feeling that that could end up being one if this continues.
That would make sense because then they all have to at least have that weight.
(01:01:31):
Right.
And for the sponsors and stuff, you think they would want.
Well, they do paint the sponsors on or put sticker, whatever it is.
I really don't think it makes that much of a difference.
So I don't know why this is the vibe.
But like McLaren, at least I'm like, OK, orange and black.
I liked the way that it looked.
Mercedes has been a black car.
So I assume that they're going to have a lot of black carpet, but like their car has been black.
(01:01:54):
But then Alpine is like blue and pink.
And they kept teasing their livery on their social media.
And they would post like a little.
That's what they're called.
They would post pictures of like pink camo because they're sponsored by BWT or something.
And whichever car has BWT is their sponsor is going to have pink on it.
Like you just know. So Alpine has had pink on it.
(01:02:17):
I like that. It was good.
And it's like a fun color and it's like blue and pink.
But so they kept teasing pink camo like close ups of pieces of a car that were pink camo.
We were all very excited. They revealed it.
It's a mostly black, like exposed carbon fiber car with a little bit of blue and tiny little pink accents.
There is pink camo nowhere to be seen.
(01:02:39):
So we're like, why were we just catfished?
Why would you do this?
Oh, and then Stake F1 Team Kicksauber is like a neon green and black, which I think is ugly, but at least is like a bright neon green.
It looks like Shigo if Shigo was a race car.
I'll always be partial to a Bumblebee from Transformers.
(01:03:01):
Well, the yellow and black.
We don't have any yellow and black cars.
I would take it.
We do have neon green.
Zaldari Bataas is wearing like a black and neon green suit.
And he's got like a mullet and a mustache.
And he does look like Chick Hicks from Cars, the green car.
He looks like him if he were a human.
(01:03:23):
He seems to be into cars.
That's on brand.
He is into cars.
Yeah, I am into my Honda Accord.
If anyone's looking for a joyride.
I'm also into my Honda Accord, but she's back in Texas.
Come back to Texas.
Anyway, that's your F1 update.
I think that's all I've got for now.
(01:03:44):
Perfect.
And you get to do the outro.
Your F1 outro.
Oh, I was like, oh my God.
What's the outro?
Ka-chow for now.
Hell yes.
Stupid.
Yon Cam. Why do you always start it when I'm yawning?
(00:04):
It just happened and then you were already mid-yawning and I was like oh. She's yawning.
So rude. I know. I'm so sorry. You should be.
Hello, throbbing members! I forgot about that!
I'd like it on record that she brought it back up. Thank you very much.
(00:24):
Oh, we weren't gonna let the throbbing members go flaccid.
We would never let you go flaccid. Never. Never ever.
Not when we looked into how to get that printed on a shirt for Steamy Lit.
We love our throbbing members.
So yeah, those will be happening just so you know.
(00:47):
Oh, nobody tell my parents or really anybody I'm related to.
I'd be so ashamed. Prefer not. But that's a Steamy Lit thing.
What happens at Steamy Lit stays at Steamy Lit.
Another Yon. I'm just really, really sleepy.
Yeah. I know the listeners are shocked.
If we ever did like a bingo, a bingo board of things on this podcast,
(01:12):
I feel like the free space would be Caroline being tired.
That's a good one. There's slash participant Caroline having a problem.
That, I mean, it's still happening. It's just immediate.
Is it really? Yeah. I mean, it's a short one.
It's happening this time. You're not in like existential crisis level.
Or that's like three paragraphs. This one is just like the one.
Oh. But guys, she's having a problem.
(01:36):
I thought she always. And that is.
We're tired and. Well, the real problem is that my mom is trying to make me get married
because we're broke because my dad who died was terrible and left us nothing.
But I'm having feelings for my best friend who happens to be a woman.
And that's, you know, that's great if it wasn't in like the eighteen hundreds.
(02:01):
Right. It would be even greater if our parents who definitely have a history would just hook up
and then I wouldn't have to marry this guy who's like nice, but being a lesbian
isn't ideal for me personally.
Listeners, have you guessed? Have you guessed which book we're talking about?
Thank you. I was like, what the fuck is happening?
(02:25):
So when is your mom forcing you to get married? What year is this?
We're just talking about this date. Yeah. And then I'm a cool cucumber.
I got it. Yeah. So yeah, I'm conflicted.
You got there. Yeah. It happened.
Another yawn. I should have a yawn. Sorry.
You should really. I should have a yawn.
I'm like really. I don't know what's going on.
(02:52):
Don't want you like a best friend. That's the book.
Oh, you have to say that.
Blank vacant stare count one.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, that's the book.
It is by Emma R. Elvin. We have.
(03:14):
Yep. Yep.
Prepared very little for this season. Absolutely not at all.
This was decided like three hours ago. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I read this book three, four months ago.
Oh, well, I just read it, but I probably remember about the same amount as you.
Yeah. I'm going to go with that.
I'm going to go with I remember. I mean, I really enjoyed it.
(03:37):
So like I know the main points. It's the in between.
Isn't that always how they getcha? Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Well, no spoilers because this is our recommendation episode.
Maybe we'll save spoilers for the end if we have.
Yeah, we can just. Yeah.
(03:58):
Um. I guess I don't quite know what would really be considered a spoiler.
Because like it's a romance. I mean, that's true.
And I don't remember anything enough to spoil it on a deeper level.
Then they get. I was going to say, like how the conflict is resolved, I think, is a spoiler.
Can I be honest, you'd be spoiling spoiling it to me right now.
(04:21):
Incredible. So we're good.
I'm just letting them know it's no spoilers on my end and apparently on yours,
because you don't remember what the spoilers are, which is great.
I know, I know, I know. For this episode.
I do. I do. I specifically do because it could have been resolved way sooner.
(04:46):
And that was my one gripe is that I was like it's getting drawn out for.
Not that there was no reason, but I was like,
this just didn't need to be as drawn out of a third conflict as it was.
It could have been resolved much sooner, I think.
Mm hmm. But that's OK.
It is. The premise is, as mentioned.
(05:11):
Yes, it's actually Caroline's memoir. It's my memoir.
It's actually like a lesbian retelling of the parent trap.
But instead of being separated twins, they're just girls who are really into each other.
And let me tell you, I did not expect people to be up in arms
about the parents hooking up and getting together.
(05:31):
Who was up in arms? I have seen several people
around the Internet being like that's incest.
It is in fact not incest. I know.
But they were like, I can't believe they got together after the parents got together.
I'm like, have you never seen like have you never seen Drive Me Crazy?
(05:52):
The parents are shippin and then they're shippin.
I haven't. Regardless.
It's a fantastic movie.
But like that's the exact same thing that happens.
But if they're already adults when they meet and when their parents get together, it doesn't matter.
I was I don't comment negatively on people's things, but that was a close call.
(06:12):
I was just like, what are you talking about? Like what?
Yeah. So this, I guess, is like technically a mild spoiler, but like, you know, it's going to happen.
Guys, it's like if you go in with a parent trap.
Right. Like, you know that these two are going to get their parents together.
Well, that's why I was so confused when they were confused, because they're like, we knew it was going to be a parent.
I'm like, then what the hell are you doing here?
(06:32):
But it's not like the problem with step sibling things is when they were raised together as siblings.
If it's the clueless of it all, like they're adults when they became step siblings.
So it doesn't matter.
Yeah, like I don't I guess they didn't have the formative experience with my life with Derek.
(06:53):
Like I did, but I also didn't. I just have common sense.
I mean, that's true. I mean, my life with Derek, they also were like older.
I mean, they weren't like adults, but they were.
They didn't think they were siblings.
Sure. And there was no like there was extreme chemistry, but nothing in the script was ever like.
I don't think they ever even kissed.
(07:14):
Well, I personally I will die on the hill that clueless did nothing wrong.
So I know I fucking love clueless.
I know. I'm with you. That's my that's my.
Formative opinion on me to step sibling romance.
And again, these two were lovers before their parents got together.
I mean, they were like in the past, they had had a past together, but currently they were not.
(07:39):
So it was just a very weird take for me to see.
I was like, well, can suck.
Yeah, my toes.
Bringing the little Lorraine Heath into it.
Actually, I saw a tick tock. There's this woman who pops up on my tick tock feed and she's like a high school teacher.
And the videos I see her come up are just her saying things that students have said to her or in front of her that have left her speechless.
(08:03):
There are some excellent ones.
My personal favorite is one guy slapped his like friend's ass as he was walking by him and she said that's not appropriate.
And the friend whose ass had been slapped said, actually, miss, I consented.
And then they both went consent boy.
Which gives me hope for the future.
However, that's not why I brought this up.
(08:24):
The reason I brought it up is because she thought she was going to have to step into a fight in the cafeteria when she was on lunch duty.
And then one of the girls said, you can suck these fat hanging lips and then walked away.
And that has been burned into my brain.
(08:46):
It's so visceral.
Pass.
No comment.
No, I'm a big fan.
I've been on Hoof Talk, if you're curious.
I don't even know what that means.
(09:08):
I didn't either until two days ago.
Like farriers, like taking care of horses hooves?
But they're cowhives.
Oh, my apologies.
I am acquainted with the farrier who comes to take care of my horse.
So there's like Nate the hoof guy.
Sure.
And he must have been working on all dairy cows because I don't think there was a penis amongst them.
But yesterday, very specific thing.
I know the algorithm took me to another hoof guy who just was working on this bull.
(09:34):
OK, first of all, ugly hooves.
Dairy cows, pristine, beautiful, dainty.
Love them.
Bulls?
I'm just there.
What shape is that?
OK.
And then I was like, what is that in the background?
Yeah, it's a big bull penis and big bull balls.
(09:56):
I was like, oh, my God.
And then after the poor bull is just waddling out because they couldn't really help his abscess.
And he just shits everywhere.
He's covered in shit.
Oh.
I was like, where have I ended up?
And no one commented on it.
I went into the comments to be like, is no one going to comment on that bull just pooping his pants?
(10:20):
Well, he's not wearing pants in his defense.
He had enough poop on him that it looked like pants.
I don't know.
And I think about the hoof guy being that close to the rear end.
I don't know what happened.
Well, a lot of things.
Wow.
That's my anecdote for the week.
(10:41):
Wow.
When in doubt, being hung like a bull.
Like a bull? Like a horn?
Yeah.
Hung like my dad.
Timothy Chalamet? No.
That's my favorite SNL skit at the moment is Timothy Chalamet and Marcelo Hernandez doing the babyface rap.
(11:02):
It's a wild time.
But one of the lines is I got a babyface, but I'm hung like my dad and it takes me out every single time.
It's so funny.
Whoo.
Should look it up.
Yeah, none of this is relevant.
No, but mildly traumatizing.
How did we get here?
(11:24):
You were on the teacher's talk.
Suck my fat hanging lips.
I mean...
Oh, the people who think the step sibling thing is weird because their parents eventually got together can suck my fat hanging lips.
That was where I was going with that.
(11:45):
Yep.
Which now that I've said it as a phrase, don't love, however, it does make me think of the Bo Burnham song.
There's a Bo Burnham song where you think that he's the fighting couple that he's playing and both sides making up, but then she's like, suck my clit and it makes me laugh.
Anyway, suck something.
(12:08):
Because the parents, I was almost more invested in their relationship.
I was so invested.
I was really invested.
They were hot.
They were.
Good for them.
He was hot.
Growing up, I've seen you said that you were very into Poseidon and obviously when you read The Perch of Jackson, you probably didn't have thoughts about Poseidon.
(12:29):
I didn't until this TV show and I understand Sally Jackson on a new level.
We're of the age where I was listening to an audio book, a YA audio book, and I was so attracted to the father.
I was like, how have we gotten here?
I was like, he sounds so hot and he was a loving parent.
I was like, that was very lucky.
He cast whoever the guy is that plays Poseidon to play the dad in this book and it would accent.
(12:53):
Delicious.
Also, like the scene when he and Sally are sitting next to each other talking, but they won't look at each other.
But these parents just make a lot of sense.
They were hot.
They were just Sally and Poseidon coding.
I really enjoyed the parent, like the double relationship.
(13:14):
And then there was the hints of what's coming in book two and then it was released after I read it.
So like the summary and all that.
So it was confirmed to be the two guys and I am very happy.
But yeah, those parents, I was I don't know if it's pervy or whatever, but I was sad to be shut out of their sex scene.
I was like, God damn it, I have popcorn for two of tiramisu for two.
(13:41):
This is eighty five dollars worth of tiramisu for two that I came prepared for and instead closed door closed door because we got an open door scene of the two heroines.
But I was also looking for just a little action shot of Papa didn't like that.
(14:06):
No, I don't know why I thought that would be all daddy, but it's not.
It's worse. Father is even worse.
Father, help.
I just wanted to see that because they were like their chemistry was so good that like I was ready and alas.
Well, since the story was told through the two heroines, neither of them wanted to see their parent.
(14:33):
I mean, very true. Maybe that's another issue.
I didn't like the third person president.
So let's just change the tense completely. Let's do third person omnipresent so we can get in that bedroom, fly on the wall, see what those parents do.
You need to read some Lisa Clayfus or something.
I do. I mean, she's just having everyone.
(14:54):
It's like in other people's books, it's just frickin Saint Vincent.
And here is Sebastian fucking his wife who he loves so much and will he will tell you all about it.
Let's bring that back.
Let's bring it back.
(15:15):
Oh, God, I love Lisa Clayfus's obsession with the Saint or the Shalons.
Yeah, because I do.
I do want to see what Sebastian and Evie are getting up to and everybody else's books because it's just like you always want more of the couples that you love previous.
And then she just knows the couples that she loves.
So then she just like, I'm going to just keep writing them.
(15:38):
And I respect it. So that's my one plea.
Well, it would not have made sense.
No, but alas, they were hot.
Maybe that would be a good Emma.
Emma, what's her last name? Alvin. Yep.
If you I need to check if you have a newsletter and sign up for it.
(15:59):
If so, I'm sure you do.
But if you wanted to release a bonus scene.
Yeah. Of the parents, I would read the heck out of it.
Yes. Yes, I would do that.
Be amazing and very, very loved by me.
(16:20):
But not to digress too far.
The main relationship I still really liked. It was a really good transfer lovers, which is not technically a trope that I like eat up.
You know, when it's done well, it's done well.
But when it's not, it's just really slow.
But I loved the drama and the friendship between them.
And there's just something about them both having to like take off each other's courses and stuff, like undress each other that way.
(16:46):
That was just so delicious.
I mean, we love a historical romance with all the layers.
And just so well when they both have like all those layers.
It does make me laugh thinking about like the hoop skirts. Yeah.
Can you imagine like this?
(17:07):
There's a bubble around me.
I just imagined face hitting with a hoop skirt is what went through my brain.
Well, you got like a whole dome.
It's the Thunderdome.
Why would you say this?
It's the Vegas fear.
You want to hear this is a digression.
(17:30):
My favorite thing that possibly anyone has ever said to me is my friend Alicia, who is on the socials in the book places and dabbles in historical romance.
But we were D.M.ing about this date that I went on and she was saying like, oh, so like romcom of you.
(17:52):
And I was like, if the romcom started on Tinder, lol.
And she's like, oh, so it's contemporary, not historical.
But then said something about I can't remember what exactly the joke that she made was, but made something about like no eloping to Gretna Green or what you say Gretna Greenwich.
To Gretna Greenwich Village unless he's like kidnapping you or something.
(18:16):
No, it took me out. I was like, oh my God.
No eloping to Gretna Greenwich Village.
So shout out because that is fucking hysterical.
And now I want to write like a novel where they eloped to Gretna Greenwich Village.
Love. Yeah, that really took me out.
Love that. Anyway, our digression should be that that that quality content, not dirty bull.
(18:47):
What we contributed was hoof talk. What our friend contributed was pure genius.
Unicorn level. Unicorn level. Yeah.
What were we talking about?
Um, damn it. Their relationship, friends, lovers, hoop skirts, Las Vegas sphere. Got it. The hoop skirts.
(19:11):
We're there. We're there.
Yeah, it was great. It was really fun.
Look, I don't know. It's not even that late. I'm just so tired.
It was great. Secondary plot. Excellent. Primary plot. Excellent.
(19:35):
Very excited about the next book. I got it. I just it was fun. My one gripe was just how drawn out the third act was.
See, I ate it up. Like I was. I think if you were here for like the drama. Yeah.
Which I sometimes am, sometimes I'm not sure. But this one, I had a really good time.
I think I wanted them to be together just a little bit longer. That makes sense. I would have liked to see them.
(19:58):
Because like you get a lot of time with them as friends. Yeah.
And then you briefly get them realizing their feelings for each other and then.
You should hit the pan.
And you know, homophobia in the 1800s. Yes. That'll do it. Every time.
Stop bringing up livestock.
(20:20):
Stop a noble steed.
Yeah, but it was it was it was good. I just wanted them to be happy.
It's very valid. I also thought it was like YA when I first saw the cover.
So I was pleasantly surprised that it's kind of like it felt new adultish.
(20:43):
Like just like sometimes there are like historical romances that are like written a little bit more modern,
but they're still like historical romances. Like it felt like a nice kind of just like fresh.
Like a slightly older target audience version of Queen Bee. Yeah. Yeah.
(21:05):
Because I mean, oh, those are SMP titles. Never mind. Oh, Queen Bee isn't, is it? No, no.
That's Dre Revolution.
But there are there are like a few others that like Bell Bell Guard by Jamie Lilac.
I really enjoyed that one. That one is that one's YA.
(21:26):
But it's like if you took She's All That, I think, and like put it in a YA setting, it was like very fun.
Because I could definitely see people being like, that's too modern.
But it was a very just fun thing to read, especially if like you're an actual young adult.
Like maybe getting into the genre for the first time.
It was really fun. And so I like I'm always on the lookout for like young adult historical romance.
(21:51):
I still need to read the Sarah McLean one. I think Sophie Jordan maybe has a series, too.
And so this one felt like a nice blends of they were like in their 20s, like early 20s, I think. Right.
But it just felt felt nice. And I just liked the.
(22:14):
I was prepared to be like angry or like tired of her being put in the path of like men or like one of the heroines had to be like she was like being courted or whatever.
And I didn't like I can't talk. I ended up really enjoying the drama and like getting to know like all the different like people of that.
(22:39):
Whatever. Not class, but.
Like, you know, you have like a classic in high school, but like the debut or the season season, like the people who are participating in the season.
I was like, I don't know, or you got a cohort going.
I didn't know what I was talking about. But it definitely made book to like it opened the gates for the book to.
(23:06):
And I'm very excited to see how that goes, because was he the cousin?
Yeah, he's the younger of the two cousins, because the older one is getting married.
And he was just a cool. He was a cool guy. He was just a cool guy. I liked him.
(23:28):
I'm so happy he's getting a book and just the person he's paired up with.
Do I remember that person's name or anything about him? No. No. Do I remember that they had chemistry?
Wasn't he the very standoffish? Yeah. Oh, oh, he's the the new heir.
And then look at to my. Well, I remember being confused about family lines for a second when I looked up the premise, because I was like, who?
(23:49):
But he's the new heir of. The one heroine's dead father.
Demarovian. So he has grown up. That's why he's here. Amazing.
So he's like he's he's the other heroine's cousin, so they're going to hook their cousins up.
Beautiful. If anybody wants to get mad about incest.
(24:17):
I also do love because I always in queer historical romances, I'm like looking for like the the lavender marriage option, because that's just the thing that makes the most sense to me in a historical context.
Yeah, because they actually did happen. And I think most queer historical romances don't do that because they want it to just be like they can be happy on their own terms.
And fair enough. But my thought is always, well, what if you just married two people?
(24:42):
Like, what if you did the lavender marriage thing? And so it does crack me up that she also was like, I have a genius idea.
You marry my cousin, I marry yours. We just have to get them to fall in love with each other.
And I was like, oh, my God, that's exactly the thought that I had, Queen.
It's a brilliant thought. What would make for a real fun book?
(25:04):
The answer is right there. Well, it will, because it's the next one. So I felt vindicated.
Amazing. I really have nothing else to say about this book.
I mean, I just love I love the premise. Parent Trap will always do it for me.
(25:28):
Gwen and Beth were their names. Wow. Look at me go on my review.
The audiobook is great, too. Is it? I mean, you may not be able to do it because of your tense issues.
I don't care about present tense. But it's dual narration.
Mary Jane Wells does one and Morag Sims does the other.
(25:49):
I know I got the whole came in from my Libby and then I just delayed it after you texted about before.
And I was like, well, there's no time for me to read it anyway. I still hate it.
I know. Well, that's because I started the audiobook of The Cat Sebastian when you could be so good.
And I couldn't do it. And then I had the physical copy. And so I just read that.
(26:12):
And I mean, this one, I literally was changing the tense as I read.
Like, I read that book in past tense because I'm insane.
It worked better than you would have thought. So I would be interested to know how the audiobooks.
I saw Mary Jane Wells, I think, when I was looking, I was like, I just don't know why.
(26:34):
And I mean, I wish I didn't have the issue. And it doesn't like it works for me in first person present tense.
Some people also don't like that, but that works because that to me makes sense.
I guess it's like upping the drama. Like if this is happening to the character in first person, they don't know what's happening.
It's current. But like third person, it just is weird. And there's just a lot of like s's.
(26:57):
I just don't have this issue. I'm listening to you trying to be like, damn, that's rough.
I feel like a dude and you're trying to open up to me about your feelings. I am.
I'm like, that sucks. It does. Does. Because me personally, I don't.
I just know it's so many like books. I just I'm like, I can't be doing this, but I want to be doing it.
(27:26):
It's just it's just I don't know. And I don't know when I discovered that, like, it doesn't work.
Like, how did I come to I don't know. Same thing with Rosalind Landor.
I woke up one day and was like, God damn. I also don't like cumin, if you're wondering.
I mean, like, I hate cumin. I thought you said human.
(27:48):
And I was like, what? I hate human. I'm an alien.
Just thought you. Wow. You've got just like a lot of really strong opinions.
I do, too, but not any of these. Yeah.
Yeah. My big three apparently are cumin, Rosalind Landor.
And third person present tense.
(28:13):
I don't know what my big three would be.
One of them is use. And this is a direct call out to Dana, who I haven't told her about this.
Use guys are like, yeah, like if you want to do this. Oh.
In place, you guys or the plural you or the superior option, y'all.
(28:34):
Yeah. Which is right there.
Dana, if you're listening, I have never heard you say use before until the past couple of weeks.
And every time you do, I am taken aback. However, I haven't told this to your face yet.
So this is how you're finding out. You're in Caroline's big.
No, no, no, not that one. Oh. But I was texting my dad about it because I was like, I've never heard this before.
(28:56):
Is this like a northeast thing? And he said yes. And also, there's an even worse one because use.
I'm at least like I'm taking it back. But, you know, it is what it is.
The worst one, however, is I think he said it's from East Pennsylvania or something.
I don't know, but it's yin's listeners.
If one of you says yin's, I'm so sorry, but we in place of what?
(29:19):
Y'all or you or news, yin's, yin's, yin's.
This is what he says. Dislike, dislike intensely.
And it's just so confusing because y'all is right there. It's the perfect second person plural.
It is. Y'all. Yeah. Yins. Yins. Yins gonna need.
(29:42):
Don't adopt this right now. I'm not going to adopt it.
I can't. I saw a light bulb go on. I did. I was like, well, I could see.
I could see how you maybe yin's want to go over to the absolutely not.
What if you would have y'all need to go to the inn? Yins go to the inn.
Y'all. Y'all go. You said it when you started.
(30:05):
I would never. I would never use. That's one of my big three.
I don't know what the other two are, but one I currently use yin's.
Good to know. Yeah. I also hate like spaghetti with red sauce.
That's more than. Well, that's because you don't like tomatoes.
No, I don't. So particularly in their red sauce form and the smell of ketchup.
If it's like sat out for like a half hour. Disgusting.
(30:30):
But yin's. Maybe up there.
Which is worse? Vote in the comments. Yin's or the smell of half hour old ketchup.
Ketchup is nasty when it sits out for like. It's just not.
It smells so disgusting. This is a you problem.
(30:51):
And it's one that I don't think a lot of people have in common with.
I feel like old ketchup is a universally hated smell when you.
I don't think that it is because I don't even know what you're talking about.
I don't know how you don't know that.
I just. Ketchup. This is a you problem.
It's a yin's problem. It's a yin's.
(31:14):
No, it's not yin's. It's just you. Single person or a single second person.
I have someone else in my army. Please let me know.
Listener, if you also retch at the smell of nasty old ketchup.
I'm also just not a huge ketchup person. I know at all.
But. I like.
(31:38):
There's so old. Icky.
Yeah, that would have to be my top. Just nasty.
Yeah, this is so that's my starter pack of things that I hate.
There's probably more. I'm sure there are tabby.
(32:00):
The shoes, not the cat.
Oh, I don't even know what that is. Google tabby shoe.
OK, I'm going to be made fundamentally uncomfortable.
I did immediately think of the cat. No tabby cat. You're cool.
If you can rock tabbies, more power to you. I would simply not rock them.
(32:24):
I'd launch them. Oh, this is why you're on hoof talk.
I don't like that. Why does that exist?
They were like in the fashion week, too, like they were like on those models,
but they were having a moment before that. Yeah, I don't know.
Well, that's horrible.
That's up there, but not relevant enough in my life to place in the top three.
(32:46):
I don't think I don't think I've ever seen someone.
It's in it's in like the there are a couple of spheres.
You know, you got the small circle of like the top three and they've got like the next wrong.
Probably like the next string out of that is the tabbies for me.
OK, yeah. Little bits of onion that don't cook down.
I don't like the texture. You've got like a lot of issues to work through.
(33:10):
I do. I can't even think off the top of my head or like, what are the things?
I don't know. I'm sure if I encountered them, I would have them.
But like, I don't I can't think of things off the top of my head that are like
these are the things I hate the most to bring it back to books in contemporary
when men say she's so fucking beautiful.
Like 10 times during the book, I'm like, oh, my God, get a new word.
(33:33):
I mean, that's fair. That's valid.
I'm like, you got to know another word. You got to know another way to say that
she's hot and gets your engine revving rather than she's so fucking beautiful.
I would actually love if they said they she got their engine right.
I'm surprised that didn't come up.
Actually, you know what? It might have come up in one of the Lauren Asher books I just read.
(33:55):
I feel like at one point somebody did say that.
I can't be quoted, but I do. That rings a bell.
Nice. So it might have happened.
Yeah. Yeah, I got nothing.
I'm really sorry.
Now you guys know a lot more about what I don't like.
(34:17):
Apparently, I'm just got I'm waiting in the wings.
Yeah, evidently.
Cool. Well, oh, I do have one not using the Oxford comma.
That's my true. That's it just pisses me off because it's not like a hard thing to do.
And it just makes things more clear.
The distinction between having APA, MLA, like all the different a like all the different formats.
(34:44):
Like, why? Why don't we just have?
Well, that's not like really relevant to my life anymore, although I do agree.
Well, it's because like if you see like a news headline, there's no Oxford comma.
And I'm just like, but but there could be there could be, though, is that and that's that's when it is.
I'm like, abolish APA. And I'm like, usually is it something that I can figure out with context?
Yes. Yeah. But sometimes it's not.
(35:06):
And so if it was just standard practice to use an Oxford comma, which isn't like a difficult thing that takes time or makes.
Listen, I am pro Oxford comma.
Me too. That would actually break apart the podcast.
That's true. That's true.
I can't associate with anti Oxford commas.
(35:29):
No. The anti ox co's.
I'm trying to figure out how I win.
Those anti oxconians.
Anti oxidites.
Stupid.
(35:51):
Anti oxidant. No.
Wow. Oh, look at us.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Paul read.
He could be a father in my life in a non related way.
(36:17):
I understood what you meant when you said it, similar to how I feel when I read a sentence that doesn't have an Oxford comma, but could use one.
Just would have preferred something a little different, you know.
Just yeah, sometimes sometimes the voice that these narrators do for the fathers just really work. Well, there's something hot about a single dad. We know this. That's why there are so many single dad romances slash men who have taken on fathering roles in romance.
(36:49):
And now all of them in my head look like that guy who plays Poseidon in the Percy Jackson show. He's so daddy.
He is.
And I don't say that lightly.
I throw Pookie around pretty lightly, but daddy, not so much.
Okay. I love Pookie.
(37:10):
Look, a Pookie is a Pookie, but a daddy, you know him when you see him, you know, and Poseidon. I have never related more to Sally Jackson.
Me also in the holiday and Jude Law.
That's valid. Mr. Napkinhead and Mr. Daddy.
Him.
Well, now we have to do an episode on single dads slash dad here or like father figure heroes and then cast them.
(37:38):
Yeah, I've just birthed an episode idea.
Guys, she birthed an episode. Just like Zeus and Athena. Just jumped straight out of my head, fully formed.
Spoiler alert. Every single one of them is going to be the guy who plays Poseidon for me. I do have. So I finished the show because we binged it this weekend.
(38:00):
I do have to say, why did they know all of what was going to happen on each of their little quest items before they got in?
Like, you're like, you're procrastinate. And I was like, you're supposed to figure it out when you tied you to the bed.
I'm very confused.
They studied the mega magic or whatever those are.
Myth-o-magic.
I was just like, I think because it would have taken too much time.
(38:22):
And that's also why, because the battle like my only two qualms where the battles were short and I get that because there weren't any huge battles in the.
It just felt very anticlimactic when like you're telling me no spoilers for people haven't watched it.
You're telling me the big versus, you know, who's that?
That was water. I'm talking about like along the way, like Medusa, like all those kind of like I was just very I enjoyed it.
(38:48):
It could not because she was creepy as shit.
She scared me. I liked that. But even then they like that one was the most surprising, I think, to them.
I just want them to be surprised more. And I get that time constraints and all of that.
And I think because my parents are watching with me, too, and they were confused on things like they didn't know about the blue.
Like she was making the blue pancakes and the blueberries at the end. And I was like, do you guys know why they're blue?
(39:12):
They're like, no, I think that was probably they were like, we don't have time to explain that.
Exactly. So there were some things that.
Or like what or like they when they said Procrustes didn't really explain that he was the stretcher.
And so like my mom was just like, cool. Procrustes.
But overall, it was very good. I'm very excited for season two.
(39:38):
And those kids can act. The guy who plays Ares, his forehead can act.
That vein popping out. Not daddy, but that's a father.
A little bit scary. His vein was really going for it.
Yeah. Honestly, Hermes was kind of daddy.
(40:03):
All right. People are complaining about Lin as Hermes. I loved it.
I was like, he could kind of get it. Like, he could actually get a little bit of it.
I saw somebody do this whole TikTok about how they didn't understand the casting of Lin-Manuel Miranda as Hermes
because Hermes is notoriously like the god with the most kids at camp.
Yeah. And so they were like, you're telling me this is who you chose to be.
(40:24):
That's where I was like, he's charming. He's not the most attractive physically.
It's the Riz. It's the ooh. And listen, I'm not attracted to Lin-Manuel Miranda, but like, I understand.
I wasn't. I thought he did great. I thought he was a great Hermes.
(40:45):
And I believed that he had all those kids. Yeah. I was honestly just the only thing I was confused about was how Poseidon
didn't have more, except that then, of course, Sally Jackson is Sally Jackson.
I'll be interesting what happens with Paul Bifter.
I don't know how they're going to top Poseidon. Because I did love Paul.
I volunteered to top Poseidon, but like, I don't know how they're going to, you know?
(41:07):
You're right. I did really enjoy Paul, though, in the books. So I'd be kind of sad.
I know, but I didn't really enjoy Poseidon in the books. And I mean, that's very true.
I was like, well, because I was also 12. It'd be true. Also, that's so true.
But I was like, I don't really get why Sally. And I ate all my words and my tongue, frankly,
when that man walked into that restaurant, I was like, I take it all back.
(41:28):
Well, and the way he's describing the books is like Bermuda shirts and like socks and sandals.
Like beach dad vibes. This man was an Australian daddy.
Nice linen unbuttoned shirt. And I said, oh, yeah, Bahama Mama me.
He showed up in the no spoilers, but when he showed up in the last episode, if you know what I'm talking about.
(41:50):
Oh, yeah, I was like, wait, what's happening?
And I was like, oh, Chris. Yeah, I did it for me.
Yeah, he was hot. Sally Jackson, the woman that you are.
Honestly, yeah, we should do a daddy episode. I agree.
I like I love I love both. I love a single mom and I love a single dad.
(42:13):
I just love kids in his local romance, especially so true because they're always so quirky and weird and Hellions or very cute or both.
And it's just so fun. And just like the dynamic of the other person, like becoming the parent figure.
Delicious. Yeah, delicious.
(42:37):
Someone on Twitter, she was looking for the scene in chasing Cassandra about the can I call him dad or whatever, because I already have a papa.
And then she thought it was in Forever Your Rogue. And then she was like looking for it.
And I was like, could we perhaps be thinking of chasing Cassandra?
(42:58):
And she was. I felt very happy to deliver that scene to her. And I had me like that entire scene highlighted in my Kindle Highlights.
So I was able to like screenshot it here. That's the scene.
Lisa said, what if I actually ripped your entire life apart? Because then there's also Basil in that book.
So it's like you've got to just Basil, my boy assaults on my femininity.
(43:23):
I like an already West Raven.
I was book was so like, here's just a man being wonderful with these kids.
And it was already gutting enough.
And then she said, oh, dad, I've already got a papa and I wouldn't want to confuse him with the one and have it shut up, Lisa.
And then West is crying because we're all and he's like, yeah, I love that.
(43:47):
Like, that's great. Thanks, buddy. And I'm like, well, now we're all crying.
And then Tom Severin was just kind of like flabbergasted.
Basil, my boy, we should do episodes like when we need to do an episode when we don't know what to do, pull out a Raven now.
(44:09):
Because I want to reread them.
And every time I read them, I like that more.
There's not there wasn't much to go up, but it just keeps happening.
Like Gabriel, I totally looked over you, King.
Now I love him like same thing with book one.
(44:30):
Gabriel Simmons. That is so funny to me.
Does he have a personality? Not really.
But he loves his wife. I love the like that one.
I just love the plot. No, that's so valid.
I just think it's funny that his whole personality is him loving his wife.
Like, yeah, Sebastian raised you so well.
Like there's something so hot about the shift of him not wanting to get married to her and then automatically just being like,
(44:53):
actually, this is what I was put on this earth to do.
I also think a lot about in that book when he has all these crises about how he has these predilections in the bedroom.
And he's like, I could never do that to a wife.
And then Sebastian St. Vincent bullies him.
(45:15):
And it's like, you fucking child. That's crazy.
We were doing like my grandparents were doing crazier stuff than you.
And then when he finally does anything, it's just I mean, it was hot.
But he just like ties her up with her corset laces.
And that was like it. I have my favorite historical romance things is my my predilections.
(45:38):
I could know they're horrible and these deep dark secrets.
And then it's like bondage. Yeah, that happens in a book.
One of the main lane. Yep. Yeah.
He just likes to like blindfold. Yeah.
To be fair, someone was murdered and put in that pose.
And so he was kind of true. The whole but like bag over their head.
It's still they talk so much about his.
(45:59):
I've been wanting to reread that book recently, too, just because I love Lazarus.
Yeah, I was so insane.
Um, I did not expect.
Thank you. I did not expect to love his book as much as I did.
It was fun. And then seeing him pop up throughout the series made a lot more sense.
You've got to read. I need to read the rest of the series, but you do have to read The Raven Prince.
(46:23):
Yes, there's one thing Elizabeth Hoy will do.
It's just go fucking crazy and then write some deeply explicit sex scenes that you're like, oh, my God.
I started to beguile a beast, I think, like when I was in my weird December slump.
I never finished it. It's not a hard DNF.
I don't even track it anywhere.
(46:45):
I was kind of just like looking for something to read one night and then it just never ended up happening again.
But I need to read more. I wanted to read more.
I think I heard those because those are like the four soldiers or whatever.
I think I heard those are like good, but they're not like peak Elizabeth Hoy.
Yeah, the way they need none of them had the convincing review that was like you will love it.
(47:09):
Like The Raven Prince was bonkers in a way that I think I mean, I could be wrong, I don't remember a ton about the plot, except for like the central thing.
But I was like, oh, my God, Elizabeth. Good.
That should go no business.
I've been thinking about rereading Daring in the Duke.
I've been thinking about rereading a lot.
I have because I don't like what do I read?
(47:32):
I'm reading Christina Britton's new book though right now.
Those poor people, they're so hurt.
I'm reading the Alyssa Cole like Civil War spies.
Or I read the first one.
I'm planning on reading the rest of it and that was great.
It was intense, but it was great.
Spies.
I like that.
(47:53):
Especially like the Civil War era not written by a white person.
Right.
Hot.
Because I encountered a hero who was basically Confederate.
Dare I say the only people I want to read.
Exactly.
I was like, why are we doing this?
Why is he sympathizing about his land being stolen?
Oh, no, no.
(48:14):
I was like, this isn't right.
No, Alyssa Cole.
Was he happy about it?
No.
It's not.
No one's sympathizing.
That is the correct.
Except for occasionally someone will be nice to them and they're like, it's so jarring
(48:35):
when people in the South are kind.
Yeah.
Which is fair.
But the rest of it was like, I'm Scottish, so fuck the South.
And then her being like, well, I'm a free black woman, so also fuck the South.
Nice.
I'll have to pick those up.
(48:56):
Do they have audio books?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
And I bought the entire Loretta Chase dressmaker series.
I know you read book one.
On a scale of one, to me, in a rage, because I know she's engaged or they're going after
different people, I believe.
He's engaged.
Like, how does that work?
(49:18):
I don't know that I'm blanking on the exact resolution.
I don't think you'd be in a rage.
I don't think it would be your favorite.
Yeah.
Well, book four is already, I started real strong with book four.
I mean, I could be wrong here.
I don't think you particularly care for it.
(49:39):
There is a small child.
Oh, I do love a small child.
That's what I'm stuck on is because I want to read that series and I want to read it
in order now.
But if there's a chance, and again, it's Loretta Chase, so it's not going to be terrible.
I'm just like.
I mean, that's also not my favorite trope.
And I didn't like, yeah, hate it.
I do remember being kind of annoyed at a certain point, but it's not it's not they don't get
(50:03):
to the altar.
Love that.
Because I just read what I don't think he said his vows.
Oh, yeah.
So that was fun for me.
I was like, he literally said them.
It was for reasons which I understood, but also I was like, what do you mean?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
That's all I got.
(50:26):
Nothing else to contribute here.
So we will be contributing later a daddy episode.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Featuring the daddies of Hollywood.
Yeah.
Or the untapped potential daddies.
I would love to see Dev Patel as a father or father figure.
(50:48):
Yeah, anyone who's older than me is just going to be considered potential.
I mean, technically fair enough.
Yeah.
Oh, like things will be done for that episode.
I'm excited.
So ominous.
Yep.
Oh, it's just going to be us objectifying them.
(51:14):
I feel like that's probably what I was put on this earth to do, if I'm being honest.
I just am so surprised.
Like, it was the moment, I think it was probably like a year or two ago when I was listening to that audio book, I was like, why am I so attracted to the father?
It's a problem.
The father.
The father.
(51:36):
Credit card?
You got it.
No, I get it.
And I want him to also have a credit card that he can pay off every month.
Generational wealth, please.
Anyway, sugar daddy?
Yeah.
We need enough generational wealth to drop $200 on a dinner.
(52:05):
No question.
I'm so embarrassed.
We'll see.
I'm going to get the shapes up.
Yep, that's us.
Just, we began this episode only dreaming about a daddy kink and now here we are.
I don't remember beginning the episode that way.
(52:28):
I feel like it was just in the state of mind.
Oh, well, yeah, always.
In the background.
Sure.
And then that we've exited with a drug.
Another yawn.
Deng, Deng.
Pursued by a bear.
You're so right.
I read another one where they were pursued by a bear.
What was that?
(52:49):
Another?
Yes.
Yes.
If I had a nickel.
You're right.
Did I put it in my story graph?
It's potential that I did.
I make very specific shelves on story graph.
Specifically, Goodreads story graph shelf labeled pursued by a bear.
Yeah, well, because Goodreads ones are public, but I don't think story graph ones are.
(53:12):
So I get a nitty gritty.
Bear.
I will find it.
There was another one.
I don't remember what it was.
I do think there's got to be some shelf on my story graph that will allow me to see the light.
Bear.
I don't know.
Okay.
(53:33):
Rawr or whatever bear.
Yeah, you did a good bear.
Thank you.
The claws.
Yeah.
The claws.
If you were like, why I didn't hear bear sounds because she was, the bear wasn't having her
body and doing the claws.
Sure.
It's method acting.
You wouldn't understand it's a theater major thing.
Yep.
Not a clue.
(53:55):
You could perhaps even call us clueless.
That was like, what are you saying?
Clueless with a step sibling romance.
Ooh.
Which brings us all the way back.
Look at that.
Don't want you like a best friend.
Go read the book.
Go request book two.
If you've already read book one and liked it on Netgalley, do the audio book.
(54:20):
If you don't, if your top three doesn't include for third person present tense or just present
tense at all.
Yeah.
It was just real good.
Dramatic.
Go watch The Parent Trap.
Go watch the original.
Go watch them all.
(54:41):
And.
Giving a lot of instructions.
Yeah.
And read some daddy things in preparation.
Yeah.
Yep.
Call me a fish.
I was floundering.
(55:03):
Thank you.
Call me Ariel because I have no words.
And floundering is excellent.
Wait, we have we have four minutes until an hour.
What's your Formula One update?
Ferrari revealed their new car.
It is shocker of all shockers.
(55:24):
Red.
But it is beautiful.
Big fan.
Landon Morris is posting things and he looks hot.
That's really all I've seen.
Christian Horner was under investigation for potentially harassing an employee, but I have
not heard anything about how that hearing went.
So I am who does he?
Oh, wait.
He is the team principal of a Red Bull.
(55:47):
Wait, I did not.
So didn't was it Lewis Hamilton who went to Ferrari?
He's going to at the end of this year.
He has one more season.
So did that or say that kick out?
Carlos signs.
Yeah.
Baby boy.
The Carlos fans are having a bad time.
Carlos may or may not be having a bad time.
Me personally.
(56:08):
I think that he wasn't going to resign with Ferrari anyway.
He had to resign.
Like he had to sign.
He was up.
His contract was up at the end of 2025 and they were more.
They were in talks.
I don't think he was going to resign, but I guess now we'll never know.
And he is kind of playing the victim, which he may be the victim, but also.
(56:33):
So he hasn't signed anywhere else.
No, no, no.
Well, but silly season is typically over the summer break is when a bunch of moves get made with the contracts.
Because they just jumped forward and were like, right.
So it's fair.
Well, it got leaked.
I don't think they were planning on announcing it, but it was it was a weird situation all around.
(56:56):
The Mercedes team principal didn't know until like a couple of days before he couldn't be there in person when they announced it to the rest of the team.
He didn't have time to get there.
Weird things were going on.
But a whole I think it's like 14 drivers contracts are up at the end of this year.
So last year it like nothing happened because everybody was still on contract.
So nobody really moved this year.
(57:17):
Silly season has begun in February 10.
Only 10 and there are two people, four people, two, two per team.
Yeah.
And do they all kind of just like stay?
How often do like new people come in?
Well, it used to be, I think, probably a bit more.
It depends.
It's kind of a big issue right now because you have people who have been in the sport for many, many years who are still hanging on.
(57:40):
And then there's like once you win Formula Two, you can't do it again.
So they're just kind of like reserve drivers or have to go do something else.
So it's a it's a whole thing.
We'll see when Lewis retires.
Fernando Alonso already retired, but then he came back.
Wait, Lewis is close to retiring.
We don't know.
We think so.
(58:01):
I mean, he's 39.
Hamilton?
That man is a 39 year old.
Yeah.
My God.
I know he's a very handsome man.
Daddy, dare I say.
Yeah.
Well, and we also think him moving to Ferrari is a sign because it seems like he's the Carlos.
Yes.
I think the goal is win a world championship with Ferrari and then retire.
(58:25):
But we'll see.
We have no idea.
Interesting.
He will be able to.
So that's the drama there.
But he has this whole season to get through with Mercedes first.
There's a whole other.
Yeah.
Oh, oh.
So normally it would have gotten announced like during the summer break in the middle
of the season.
But it got leaked and came out and things are weird.
(58:50):
That would be awkward.
Wow.
So it's not the first time somebody's announced early, but like now you have this whole season
where you have to drive with this other team.
And it's like, yeah, we're like still really dedicated to this team.
But you also know that you're leaving.
So if I was going nowhere, marry me and just did my whole life.
(59:14):
You sound like my sister in law.
She loves him.
Give me your money and.
Oh, yeah.
I'll give you the best years of your life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In my Honda.
You are Carlos Sines.
That would be a really smart move.
Uh huh.
Oh, no, it is probably on Audi anyway.
(59:37):
Hmm.
That's his dad is ties to Audi, but they're not joining until 26.
I don't think 25, 26.
I don't know.
Nobody knows as a car like they have a they'll take over.
They'll be a sponsor for the it was the Alfa Romeo team, but Alfa Romeo left.
But Sauber is still the sponsor.
(59:58):
But now they're the stake of one team, kick Sauber.
The stake.
Yeah.
S.T.A.K.E.
Stake F1 team, kick Sauber, who we don't know what I think was supposed to call them steak, but you can't advertise gambling in every country.
So they can't be called that in some countries.
Currently, my bit is that I'm going to be calling them stick of one team, kick Sauber the entire name, because if you're going to name your car something stupid, it deserves to be said.
(01:00:24):
But then when Audi joins, they'll take in for that.
Audi is easier to say.
I will admit that.
Yeah.
Huh.
There's a lot happening and all the car launches are happening.
So currently, the drama is that everybody keeps giving us like plain black carbon fiber cars with a little bit of color because to paint your car adds weight to it.
(01:00:46):
And everybody is not a lot, but apparently enough that everybody's like, what if we just put barely any paint on it, even though I really don't think that's making a huge performance difference.
So now all of us, the fans are looking at this going, guys, please, I beg of you, paint your car color because cars are going to crash and we're going to be like, oh, who is it?
(01:01:07):
It's a black car with like a stripe of color.
With the exception of like Williams is blue, Ferrari was always going to be red.
So, hooray.
They should all have to put a certain like a minimum amount of paint on the car.
I'm surprised that that's not a rule.
I have a feeling that that could end up being one if this continues.
That would make sense because then they all have to at least have that weight.
(01:01:31):
Right.
And for the sponsors and stuff, you think they would want.
Well, they do paint the sponsors on or put sticker, whatever it is.
I really don't think it makes that much of a difference.
So I don't know why this is the vibe.
But like McLaren, at least I'm like, OK, orange and black.
I liked the way that it looked.
Mercedes has been a black car.
So I assume that they're going to have a lot of black carpet, but like their car has been black.
(01:01:54):
But then Alpine is like blue and pink.
And they kept teasing their livery on their social media.
And they would post like a little.
That's what they're called.
They would post pictures of like pink camo because they're sponsored by BWT or something.
And whichever car has BWT is their sponsor is going to have pink on it.
Like you just know. So Alpine has had pink on it.
(01:02:17):
I like that. It was good.
And it's like a fun color and it's like blue and pink.
But so they kept teasing pink camo like close ups of pieces of a car that were pink camo.
We were all very excited. They revealed it.
It's a mostly black, like exposed carbon fiber car with a little bit of blue and tiny little pink accents.
There is pink camo nowhere to be seen.
(01:02:39):
So we're like, why were we just catfished?
Why would you do this?
Oh, and then Stake F1 Team Kicksauber is like a neon green and black, which I think is ugly, but at least is like a bright neon green.
It looks like Shigo if Shigo was a race car.
I'll always be partial to a Bumblebee from Transformers.
(01:03:01):
Well, the yellow and black.
We don't have any yellow and black cars.
I would take it.
We do have neon green.
Zaldari Bataas is wearing like a black and neon green suit.
And he's got like a mullet and a mustache.
And he does look like Chick Hicks from Cars, the green car.
He looks like him if he were a human.
(01:03:23):
He seems to be into cars.
That's on brand.
He is into cars.
Yeah, I am into my Honda Accord.
If anyone's looking for a joyride.
I'm also into my Honda Accord, but she's back in Texas.
Come back to Texas.
Anyway, that's your F1 update.
I think that's all I've got for now.
(01:03:44):
Perfect.
And you get to do the outro.
Your F1 outro.
Oh, I was like, oh my God.
What's the outro?
Ka-chow for now.
Hell yes.
Stupid.
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