Romancing the Pod
Each week Paige and Todd review a romantic movie and break down the good, the bad, and the funny. Give it a listen, we’ll have you at hello.
Episodes
“We all fucked each other and now it's weird.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Elvira: Mistress of the Dark. This film has everything: infant smoky-eye glam, municipal ordinance heists, And Florence Pugh parking-garage fanfiction. If you love garbage-disposal courtship rituals, crab-issued death threats, and demon-related insurance denials, this episode’s for you!
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“We fed it buttons until it shit a suit.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Once Bitten. This film has everything: A toothy debriefing, first-class Red Vines, And LaCroix-dusted vampires. If you love chandelier-store lion walks, presidential pardons for Free Lance, and wicker-husband splinter anxiety, this episode’s for you!
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“I don't know if she can actually play cello, but I do believe she had sex with it.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... The Witches of Eastwick. This film has everything: giant-dick OSHA protocols, Scooby-Doo fertility instincts, And splash-zone sermons. If you love wardrobe-dependent music education, Dianetics snake affirmations, and legally compliant seagull puppetry, this episode’s for you!
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“My mother's maiden name is LeBaron, and when my friend found that out, he called me Chrysler for three years.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Mrs. Winterbourne. This film has everything: stallion-mouth self-help, Shredder-style childbirth, And Catholic tits-and-ass rulings. If you love mandatory bad Boston accents, murder-scene Better Cheddars, and family-wide Spartacus defenses, this episode’s for yo...
“He can't have a dick made of magic and money.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... The Rocketeer. This film has everything: Handsaw helmet engineering, jetpack chicken nuggets, And Timothy Dolphin sponsorship drives. If you love dog-shaped airstrip diners, accidental aviation hyperfixations, and smuggled Nazi cartoons, this episode’s for you!
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“If you think teeth are bad on nursing, try a beak.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Rock a Doodle. This film has everything: Lisa Frank vomit spells, TARDIS rooster helicopters, And gay-owl organ recitals. If you love no-birds penguin dress codes, Left Shark starfish Snuggies, and OnlyFeathers side hustles, this episode’s for you!
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"What's Bowie gonna do with that baby"
This week's most romantic movie is... Labyrinth. This film has everything: environmental fart math, size-magic pharmaceuticals, And arboreal revenge sequels. If you love Goblin Parliament marketing plans, truckstop sex-worker wigs, and M.C. Escher slander, this episode's for you!
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What did you think of...
"Your crucifixion maxing, bro.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Sing Street. This film has everything: celestial class warfare, postmortem party planning, And vampire foreshadowing. If you love Canadian-model alibis, Morrissey-loving gangsters, and tech-bro yacht etiquette, this episode’s for you!
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What did you think...
“I guess I'll just die then”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Legend. This film has everything: combustible studios, darkness wrecking balls, And hoop-ready couture. If you love fish-based marriage loopholes, AOL goblin poetry, and federal-prison Letterboxd, this episode’s for you!
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“This man is not analog. He's rich.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Something Wild. This film has everything: mandatory funeral serenades, lethally sexy sharks, And liquor-store pipe wisdom. If you love Christmas-in-June, Diet Coke performance reviews, and horribly misquoted Bible studies, this episode’s for you!
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“I could make it 100% better in just four words: Directed by Baz Luhrmann.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Sense and Sensibility. This film has everything: front diapers, Terrorist heartbreakers, And tears for the landed gentry. If you love Fanny wordplay, wedding cakes on stilts, and are really anal about horse cinematography, this episode’s for you!
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“I’d recognize that dick print a mile away.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Letters to Juliet. This film has everything: conveniently widowed vineyard owners, WW2 era celebratory sex pests, And a Spartacus-sized Lorenzo census. If you love hostile truffle games, newsroom understudies, and divinely discounted hot dogs, this episode’s for you!
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“The first act of this movie is not a rom-com. It’s the perfect crime.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... You, Me & Tuscany. This film has everything: Victorian raccoon crime syndicates, open-ended Tuscany tickets, And Matrix-glitch rock gardens. If you love Criss Angel sandwich wrapping, eight-pack sprinkler rescues, and Liam Neeson travel planning, this episode’s for you!
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“Did you just take Barbarian and control-all ‘murder’ to put in ‘kissing’?”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Love in the Villa. This film has everything: cheese trafficking, an modest sangria empire, And TripAdvisor instead of screenwriters. If you love orphanage luggage deliveries, olive-based attempted murder, and toilet-pamphlet plotlines, this episode’s for you!
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“Pasta is the warmest color.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Under the Tuscan Sun. This film has everything: literal duckface, mean compliments, And way too much writer self-love. If you love Tuscan Raiders, never-ending breadstick diplomacy, and romantic Barbarian energy, this episode's for you!
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What did you think...
“She is a clown blazer away from just a full ass clown suit.”
This week's most romantic movie is... Roman Holiday. This film has everything: emergency bangs consultations, comically long paper money, And a first kiss so disgusting, it's guaranteed to give you Giardia. If you love Italy tourism propaganda, top crisis secrets, and loose Gambinos, this episode's for you!
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“Good food made by great people who made bad decisions.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Rent. This film has everything: Window Pains, Killer songs, And Cows on the right side of history. If you love narc documentaries, Law and Order math, and TMNT grief counseling, this episode’s for you!
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What did you think o...
“I’ll shoot it, Paige. It’s my Roomba.”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Dicks the Musical, featuring special guest Danielle Perez. This film has everything: Homemade sand, Hand-job methphors, And Fire Island DJ cosplaying as god. If you love the sewer-boys, medically horny twins, and Uber rides with benefits, this episode’s for you!
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“What is the outside of a cheese stick if not a cheese condom?”
This week’s most romantic movie is... Kissing Jessica Stein. This film has everything: equine flatulence, attendee hecklers, And knowing when to walk away from Hot Cross Buns-level art. If you love lavender marriage math, twin-bed logistics, and Jon Hamm as a sexual-orientation litmus test, this episode’s for you!
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“I think Ang Lee has some sort of tear fetish."
This week’s most romantic movie is... Brokeback Mountain. This film has everything: Alma the Elder, rodeo-clown rejection, And Thanksgiving turkey chainsaws. If you love crying through cowboy hats, sheep-based emotional support, and store-wrapped fishing evidence, this episode’s for you!
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