March 31, 2025 • 41 mins
Ron Reads Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper," a haunting short story that chronicles a woman's descent into madness after being prescribed a rest cure for her "nervous condition."
• A woman and her physician husband rent a colonial mansion for the summer
• Her husband John dismisses her concerns and prescribes complete rest as treatment
• She becomes obsessed with the yellow wallpaper in her bedroom, describing its horrible pattern and color
• Writing in secret despite her husband's prohibition as it would "excite her imagination"
• The pattern in the wallpaper begins to move and reveal a woman trapped behind it
• She becomes convinced multiple women are trapped in the pattern, trying to escape
• Her mental state deteriorates as she begins to identify with the woman in the wallpaper
• She locks herself in the room to tear down the wallpaper and "free" the trapped woman
• The story ends with her complete mental breakdown as she creeps around the room
Thank you for listening to Ron Reads a Boring Book Series. Join us next time for another classic literary work brought to life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Are you tired?
You will be.
This is Ron Reads a Boring BookSeries.
In this episode we're going toread the Yellow Wallpaper by
(00:22):
Charlotte Perkins Gilman.
Wallpaper by Charlotte PerkinsGilman.
It's very seldom that mereordinary people like John and
myself secure ancestral hallsfor the summer, colonial mansion
, a hereditary estate, I wouldsay a haunted house, and reach
(00:44):
the height of romantic felicity.
But that would be asking toomuch of fate.
Still, I will proudly declarethat there is something queer
about it, else why should it belet so cheaply and why have
stood so long untenanted?
Have stood so long untenanted?
John laughs at me, of course,but no one expects that in
(01:10):
marriage.
John is practical in the extreme.
He has no patience with faith,an intense horror of
superstition, and he scoffsopenly at any talk of things not
to be felt and seen and putdown in figures.
John is a physician, andperhaps I would not say it to a
(01:33):
living soul, of course, but thisis dead paper and a great
relief to my mind.
Perhaps that is one reason I donot get well faster.
Perhaps that is one reason I donot get well faster.
You see, he does not believe Iam sick.
And what can one do If aphysician of high standing and
(01:59):
one's own husband assuresfriends and relatives that there
is really nothing the matterwith one but temporary nervous
depression, a slight hystericaltendency.
What is one to do?
My brother is also a physician,and also of high standing, and
he says the same thing.
So I take phosphates, orphosphites whichever it is, and
(02:23):
tonics and journeys and the airand exercise, and am absolutely
forbidden to work until I amwell again.
Personally I disagree with theirideas.
Personally I believe thatcongenial work with excitement
(02:44):
and change would do me good.
But what is one to do?
I did right for a while inspite of them, but it does
exhaust me a good deal having tobe so sly about it or else meet
with heavy opposition.
I sometimes fancy that in mycondition if I had less
opposition and more society andstimulus.
(03:07):
But John says the very worstthing I can do is think about my
condition and I confess italways makes me feel bad.
So I will let it alone and talkabout the house, the most
beautiful place.
It is, quite alone, standingwell back from the road, quite
(03:28):
three miles from the village.
It makes me think of Englishplaces that you read about, for
there are hedges and walls andgates that lock in lots of
separate little houses for thegardeners and people.
There is a delicious garden.
I never saw such a garden,large and shady, full of
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box-bordered paths, lined with along grape-covered arbor with
seats under them.
There were greenhouses too, butthey are all broken now.
There was some legal trouble, Ibelieve, something about their
heirs and co-heirs.
Anyhow, the place has beenempty for years.
(04:13):
That spoils my ghostliness, I'mafraid, but I don't care.
There's something strange aboutthe house.
I can feel it.
The house, I can feel it.
I even said so to John onemoonlit evening, but he said
(04:34):
what I felt was a drought andshut the window.
I get unreasonably angry withJohn sometimes.
I'm sure I never used to be sosensitive.
I think it's due to thisnervous condition.
But John says if I feel so Ishall neglect proper
self-control.
So I take pains to controlmyself before him at least, and
(04:58):
that makes me very tired.
I don't like our room a bit.
I wanted one downstairs thatopened on the piazza and had
roses all over the window Such apretty old-fashioned chintz
hangings but John would not hearof it.
He said there was only onewindow and not room for two beds
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and no near room for him if hetook another.
He is very careful and lovingand hardly lets me stir without
special direction.
I have a scheduled prescriptionfor each hour in the day.
He takes all care for me and soI feel basically ungrateful not
to value it more.
(05:42):
He said we came here solely onmy account, that I was to have
perfect rest and all the air Icould get.
Your exercise depends on yourstrength, my dear, said he, and
your food somewhat on yourappetite, but air you can't
absorb all the time.
So we took the nursery at thetop of the house.
(06:04):
It is a big airy room on thewhole floor.
Nearly it is a big airy room,the whole floor nearly, with
windows that all look, that lookalways, and air and sunshine
galore.
It was nursery first and thenplayground, and gymnasium was
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nursery first and thenplayground and gymnasium, I
would judge, for the windows arebarred for little children and
there are rings and things inthe walls.
The paint and paper looked asif a boy's school had used it.
It is stripped off the paper ingreat patches all around the
head of my bed, about as far asI can reach, and in a great
place on the other side of theroom low down.
(06:46):
I never saw worse paper in mylife, one of those sprawling,
flamboyant patterns committingevery artistic sin.
It's dull enough to confuse theI in following, pronounced
enough to constantly irritateand provoke study.
And when you follow the lame,uncertain curves for a little
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distance, they suddenly commitsuicide, plunge off at
outrageous angles, destroythemselves in unheard-of
contradictions.
The color is repellent, mostrevolting a smoldering,
uncleanan yellow, strangelyfaded by the slow-turning
sunlight.
It is a dull, yet lurid orangein some places.
(07:33):
I should hate it myself if Ihad to live in this room long.
There comes John and I must putthis away.
He hates to have me write aword.
We have been here two weeks andI haven't felt like writing
(07:56):
before since that first day.
I'm sitting by the window nowup in this atrocious nursery and
there is nothing to hinder mywriting as much as I please,
save lack of strength.
John is away all day and evensome nights when his cases are
serious.
I'm glad my case is not serious, but these nervous troubles are
(08:20):
dreadfully depressing.
John does not know how much Ireally suffer.
He knows there is no reason tosuffer and that satisfies him.
Of course it is onlynervousness.
It does weigh on me so not todo my duty in any way.
I meant to be such a help toJohn, such a real rest and
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comfort, and here I am acomparative burden.
Already Nobody would believewhat an effort it is to do, what
little I am able to dress andentertain and order things.
It is fortunate Mary is so goodwith the baby, such a dear baby
, yet I cannot be with him.
(09:04):
It makes me so nervous.
I suppose John was never nervousin his life.
He laughs at me about thiswallpaper.
At first he meant to repaperthe room, but afterwards he said
I was letting it get the betterof me and that nothing was
worse for a nervous patient thanto give way to such fancies.
He said that after thewallpaper was changed it would
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be the heavy bedstead and thenthe barred windows and then that
gate at the head of the stairsand so on.
You know the place is doing yougood, he said.
And really dear, I don't careto renovate the house just for a
three months rental then do,let us go downstairs I said
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there are such pretty roomsthere.
He then took me in his arms andcalled me a blessed little goose
and said he would go downcellar if I wished and have it
whitewashed into the bargain.
But he is right enough aboutthe beds and windows and things.
(10:15):
It is as airy and comfortable aroom as anyone need wish and of
course I would not be so sillyas to make him uncomfortable
just for a whim.
I'm really getting quite fondof the big room, all but that
horrid paper.
Out of one window I can see thegarden, those mysterious deep
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shaded arbors, the riotous oldfashioned flowers and bushes and
gnarly trees.
Out of another I get a lovelyview of the bay and a little
private wharf belonging to theestate.
There is a beautiful shadedlane that runs down there from
the house, lane that runs downthere from the house.
(11:01):
I always fancy I see peoplewalking in these numerous paths
and arbors.
But John has cautioned me not togive way to fancy in the least.
He says that with myimaginative power and habit of
story making, a nervous weaknesslike mine is sure to lead to
all manner of excited fanciesand that I ought to use my good,
my will and good sense to checkthe tendency.
(11:22):
So I try.
I think sometimes that if Iwere only well enough to write a
little it would relieve thepress of ideas and rest me.
But I find I get pretty tiredwhen I try.
It's so discouraging not tohave any advice and
companionship about my work whenI get really well.
(11:43):
John says we will ask CousinHenry and Julia down for a long
visit, but he says he would assoon put fireworks in my
pillowcase as to let me havethose stimulating people about
now.
I wish I could get well faster,but I must not think about that
.
This paper looks at me as if itknew what a vicious influence it
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had.
There is a recurrent spot wherethe pattern lulls like a broken
neck and two bulbous eyes stareat you upside down.
I get positively angry with theimpertinence of it and the
everlastingness.
Up and down and sideways theycrawl and those absurd
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unblinking eyes are everywhere.
There's one place where twobreaths didn't match and the
eyes go all up and down the line, one a little higher than the
other.
I never saw so much expressionin an inanimate thing before and
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we all know how much expressionthey have.
I used to lie awake as a childand get more entertainment and
terror out of blank walls andplain furniture than most
children could find in a toystore.
I remember what a kindly winkthe knobs of our old bureau used
to have, and there was onechair that always seemed like a
strong friend.
I used to feel that if any ofthe other things looked too
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fierce, I could always hop intothat chair and be safe.
The furniture in this room isno worse than inharmonious,
however, for we had to bring itall from downstairs.
I suppose when this was used asa playroom they had to take the
nursery things out, and nowonder I never saw such ravages
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as the children have made here.
The wallpaper, as I said before, is torn off in spots and it
sticketh closer than a brother.
They must have had perseveranceas well as hatred.
Then the floor is scratched andgouged and splintered, the
plaster itself is dug out hereand there, and this great heavy
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bed, which is all we found inthe room, looks as if it had
been through the wars.
I don't mind it a bit, only thepaper.
There comes John's sister.
Such a dear girl as she is andso careful of me, I must not let
her find me writing.
She is a perfect andenthusiastic housekeeper and
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hopes for no better profession.
I verily believe she thinks itis the writing which made me
sick, but I can write when sheis out and see her.
A long way off from thesewindows there is one that
commands the road, a lovely,shaded, winding road, and one
that just looks off over thecountry, a lovely country too,
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full of great elms and velvetmeadows.
This wallpaper has a kind ofsub-, in a different shade, a
particularly irritating one, foryou can only see it in certain
lights, and not clearly then,but in the places where it isn't
faded and where the sun is justso, I can see a strange,
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provoking, formless sort offigure that seems to sulk about
behind that silly conspicuousfront sign.
There's sister on the stairs.
Well, the fourth of july is over, the people are gone and I'm
tired.
John thought it might do megood to see a little company, so
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we just had Mother and Nellieand the children down for a week
.
Of course I didn't do a thing.
Jenny sees to everything now,but it tired me all the same.
John says if I don't pick upfaster he shall send me to Weir
Mitchell in the fall.
But I don't want to go there atall.
(16:00):
I had a friend who was in hishands once and she says he is
just like John and my brother,only more so.
Besides, it is such anundertaking to go so far.
I don't feel as if it wasworthwhile to turn my hand over
for anything and I'm gettingdreadfully fretful.
(16:22):
Quirulius, quirulius, quirulius,quirulius.
I cry at nothing and cry mostof the time.
I cry at nothing and cry mostof the time.
Of course I don't when John ishere or anybody else, but when
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I'm alone, and I'm alone a gooddeal just now.
John is kept in town very oftenby serious cases, and Jenny is
good and lets me alone when Iwant her to, or two.
So I walk a little in thegarden or down that lovely lane,
sit on the porch under theroses and lie down up here a
good deal.
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I'm getting really fond of theroom, in spite of the wallpaper,
perhaps because of thewallpaper.
It dwells in my mind.
So I lie here on this greatimmovable bed, mind.
So I lie here on this greatimmovable bed it's nailed down,
I believe and follow thatpattern about by the hour.
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It is as good as gymnastics, Iassure you.
I start, we'll say, at thebottom, down in the corner over
there where it has not beentouched, and I determined for
the thousandth time that I willfollow that pointless pattern to
some sort of a conclusion.
I know a little of theprinciple of design and I know
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this thing was not arranged onany laws of radiation or
alternation or repetition orsymmetry or anything else that I
had ever heard of.
It is repeated, of course, bythe breaths, but not otherwise.
Looked at in one way, eachbreath stands alone.
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The bloated curves andflourishes, a kind of debased
Romanesque with deliriumtrimmings, go waddling up and
down in isolated columns offatuity, but on the other hand
they connect diagonally and thesprawling outlines run off in
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great slanting waves of optichorror, like a lot of wallowing
seaweeds in full chase.
The whole thing goeshorizontally too, at least it
seems so, and I exhaust myselfin trying to distinguish the
order of its going in thatdirection.
They have used a horizontalbreadth for a fries freeze,
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freezy, and that addswonderfully to the confusion.
There is one end of the roomwhere it is almost intact, and
there, when the cross lightsfade and the low sun shines
directly upon it, I can almostfancy radiation after all.
The interminable grotesquesseem to form around a common
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center and rush off in headlongplunges of equal distraction.
It makes me tired to follow it.
I will take a nap.
I guess I don't know why Ishould write this.
I don't want to, I don't feelable and I know John would think
it absurd.
But I must say what I feel andthink.
In some way it is such a relief, but the effort is getting to
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be greater than the relief Halfthe time now I'm awfully lazy
and lie down ever so much.
John says I mustn't lose mystrength and he has me.
Take cod, liver oil and tons oftonics and things, to say
nothing of ale and wine and raremeat.
Nothing of ale and wine andrare meat.
Dear John, he loves me verydearly and hates to have me sick
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.
I tried to have a real, earnest, reasonable talk with him the
other day and tell him how Iwish he would let me go and make
a visit to Cousin Henry inJulia, but he said I wasn't able
to go nor able to stand itafter I got there and I did not
make out very good, make out avery good case for myself, for I
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was crying before I hadfinished.
It is getting to be a greateffort for me to think straight,
this nervous weakness, Isuppose.
And dear John gathered me up inhis arms and just carried me
upstairs and laid me on the bedand sat by me and read to me
till it tired of my head.
He said I was his darling andhis comfort and all he had and
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that I must take care of myselffor his sake and keep well.
He says no one but myself canhelp me out of it and that I
must use my will andself-control and not let any
silly fancies run away with me.
There is one comfort the babyis well and happy and does not
have to occupy this nursery withthe horrid wallpaper.
If he had not used it, thatblessed child would have.
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What a fortunate escape.
Why I wouldn't have a child ofmine, an impressionable little
thing, live in such a room forworlds?
I never thought of it before,but it is lucky that John kept
me here.
After all, I can stand it mucheasier than a baby, you see.
Of course I never mentioned itto them anymore.
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I am too wise, but I keep watchof it all the same.
There are things in thatwallpaper that nobody knows but
me or ever will.
Behind that outside pattern dims.
The dim shapes get clearerevery day.
It's always the same shape,only very numerous, and it is
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like a woman stooping down andcreeping about behind that
pattern.
I don't like it a bit, I wonder.
I begin to think I wish Johnwould take me away from here.
It is so hard to talk with Johnabout my case because he is so
wise, because he loves me so,but I tried it.
Last night it was moonlight.
The moon shines in all around,just as the Sun does.
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I hate to see it.
Sometimes it creeps so slowlyand always comes in by one
window or another.
John was asleep and I hated towaken him, so I kept still and
watched the moonlight on thatundulating wallpaper till I felt
creepy.
The faint figure behind seemsto shake the pattern, as if she
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wanted to get out.
I got up softly and went to feeland see if the wallpaper did
move, and when I came back Johnwas awake.
What is it, little girl?
He said.
Don't go walking about likethat, you'll get cold.
I thought it was a good time totalk, and so I told him that I
(23:09):
really was not gaining here andthat I wished he would take me
away.
Why, darling.
He said our lease will be up inthree weeks.
I can't see how to leave beforethe repairs are not done at
home and I cannot possibly leavetown just now.
(23:30):
Of course, if you were in anydanger I could and would.
But you really are better, dear, whether you can see it or not.
I am a doctor, dear, and I knowyou are gaining flesh and color
.
Your appetite is better.
I feel really much easier aboutyou.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I don't weigh a bit more said I nor as much, and my
appetite may be better in theevening when you are here, but
it is worse in the morning whenyou are away.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Bless her little heart, he said with a big hug.
She shall be as sick as shepleases.
But now let's improve theshining hours by going to sleep
and talk about it in the morningand you won't go away I asked
gloomily, why, how can I?
Dear, it is only three weeksand then we'll take a nice
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little trip of a few days whileJenny is getting the house ready
.
Really, dear, you are better.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Better in body perhaps.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I began and stopped short, for he sat up straight
and looked at me with such astern, reproachful look that I
could not say another word.
My darling, he said I beg ofyou, for my sake and for our
child's sake, as well as foryour own, that you will never
for one instant let that ideaenter your mind.
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There is nothing so dangerous,so fascinating to you, to a
temperament like yours.
It is a false and foolish fancy.
Can you not trust me as aphysician when I tell you so?
So of course I said no more onthat score and we went to sleep
(25:20):
before long.
He thought I was asleep first,but I wasn't.
I lay there for hours trying todecide whether that front
pattern and the back patternreally did move together or
separately, or, on a patternlike this, by daylight.
There is a lack of sequence, adefiance of law.
That is a constant irritant.
To a normal mind, the color ishideous and unreliable enough
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and infuriating enough, but thepattern is torturing.
You think you have mastered it,but just as you get well
underway in following it, itturns a back somersault and
there you are, it slaps you inthe face, knocks you down and
tramples upon you.
It is like a bad dream.
The outside pattern is a florid, aberresque error, a best
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reminding one of a fungus, ifyou can imagine a toadstool in
joints, an interminable stringof toadstools budding and
sprouting and endlessconvolutions.
Why that is something like it?
That is sometimes.
There is one marked peculiarityabout this paper I think nobody
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seems to notice but myself, andthat is that it changes as the
light changes.
When the Sun shoots through theeast window I always watch for
that first long straight ray.
It changes so quickly that Ican never quite believe it.
This is why I watch it alwaysby moonlight.
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The moon shines in all nightwhen there is a moon.
I wouldn't know it was the samepaper, I would not.
I wouldn't know it was the samepaper.
At night, in any kind of lightand twilight, candlelight,
lamplight and worst of all, bymoonlight, it becomes bars.
The outside pattern I mean thewoman behind it is as plain as
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can be.
I didn't realize for a longtime what the thing was that
showed behind that dim subpattern, but now I am quite sure
it is a woman.
By daylight she is subduedquiet.
I fancy it is the pattern thatkeeps her so still.
It is so puzzling.
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It keeps me quiet by the hour Ilie down ever so much.
Now John says it is good for meto sleep all I can.
Indeed, he started the habit ofmaking me lie down for an hour
after each meal.
It is a very bad habit, I'mconvinced, for, you see, I don't
sleep.
And that cultivates deceit, forI don't tell, and that
(28:08):
cultivates deceit for I don'ttell him.
Tell them I'm awake.
Oh no, the fact is, I'm gettinga little afraid of John.
He seems very queer sometimes,and even Jenny has an
inexplicable look.
It strikes me occasionally,just as a scientific hypothesis,
that perhaps it is the paper.
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I have watched John, when hedid not know I was looking, and
come into the room suddenly onthe most innocent excuses, and I
have called him several timeslooking at the paper, and Jenny
too.
I caught Jenny with her hand onit once.
She didn't know I was in theroom, and when I asked her in a
quiet, a very quiet voice, withthe most restrained manner
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possible, what she was doingwith the paper, she turned
around as if she had been caughtstealing and looked quite angry
and asked me why I shouldfrighten her.
So then she said that the paperstained everything it touched,
that she had found yellowsmooches on all my clothes and
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johns and she wished we would bemore careful.
Did not that sound innocent?
But I know she was studyingthat pattern and I am determined
that nobody shall find it outbut myself.
Life is very much more excitingnow than it used to be.
You see, I have something moreto expect, to look forward to,
(29:32):
to watch.
I really do eat better and I'mmore quiet than I was.
John is so pleased to see meimprove.
He laughed a little the otherday and said I seemed to be
flourishing inside of mywallpaper.
I turned it off with a laugh.
I had no intention of tellinghim it was because of the
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wallpaper.
He would make fun of me.
He might even want to take meaway.
I don't want to leave now untilI have found it out.
There is a week more and Ithink that will be enough.
I am feeling ever so muchbetter.
I don't sleep much at night, forit is so interesting to watch
developments, but I sleep a gooddeal in the daytime.
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In the daytime it is tiresomeand perplexing.
There are always new shoots onthe fungus and the new shades of
yellow all over it I cannotkeep count of them.
It is the strangest yellow,that wallpaper.
It makes me think of all theyellow things I ever saw, not
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beautiful ones like buttercups,but old, foul, bad yellow things
.
But there is something elseabout that wallpaper the smell.
I noticed it the moment we cameinto the room.
But with so much air and sun itwas not bad the room, but with
so much air and sun it was notbad.
Now we have had a week of fogand rain and whether the windows
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are open or not, the smell ishere.
It creeps all over the house.
I find it hovering in thedining room, skulking in the
parlor, hiding in the hall,lying in wait for me on the
stairs.
It gets into my hair Even whenI go for a ride.
If I turn my head suddenly andsurprise it, there's that smell,
such a peculiar odor too.
(31:20):
I have spent hours trying toanalyze it, to find what it
smelled like.
It's not bad at first and verygentle, but quite the subtlest,
most enduring odor I ever met Inthis damp weather.
It is awful.
I wake up in the night and findit hanging over me.
It used to disturb me at first.
(31:40):
I thought seriously of burningthe house to reach the smell,
but now I'm used to it.
The only thing I can think ofis that it is like.
It is the only thing I canthink of it.
The only thing I can think ofthat it is like is the color of
(32:04):
paper a yellow smell.
There is a dark.
There is a very funny mark onthis wall low down near the mop
board, a streak that runs aroundthe room.
Low down near the mop board, astreak that runs around the room
.
He goes behind every piece offurniture except the bed, a long
straight, even smooch, as if ithad been rubbed over and over.
I wonder how it was done andwho did it and what they did it
(32:28):
for.
Round and round and round,round and round and round.
It makes me dizzy.
I really have discoveredsomething at last Through
watching so much at night whenit changes.
So I finally found out.
The front pattern does move andno wonder the woman behind
shakes it.
Sometimes I think there are agreat many women behind and
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sometimes only one, and shecrawls around fast and her
crawling shakes it all over.
Then in the very bright spotsshe keeps still, and in the very
shady spots she just takes holdof the bars and shakes them
hard and she is all the timetrying to climb through.
But nobody could climb.
But nobody could climb throughthat pattern.
(33:13):
It strangles, so I think thatis why it has so many heads.
They get through and then thepattern strangles them off and
turns them upside down and makestheir eyes white.
If those heads were covered ortaken off it would not be half
so bad.
I think that woman gets out inthe daytime and I'll tell you
(33:38):
why.
Privately I've seen her.
I can see her out of every oneof my windows.
It is the same woman I know,for she is always creeping and
most women do not creep bydaylight.
I see her on that long shadedlane creeping up and down.
I see her in those dark grapearbors creeping all around the
(33:59):
garden.
I see her on that long roadunder the trees creeping along,
and when a carriage comes shehides under the blackberry vines
.
I don't blame her a bit.
It must be very humiliating tobe caught creeping by daylight.
I always lock the door when Icreep by daylight.
I can't do it at night for Iknow John would suspect
(34:20):
something at once.
And John is so queer now that Idon't want to irritate him.
I wish he would take anotherroom.
Besides, I don't want anybodyto get that woman out at night
but myself.
I often wonder if I could seeher out of all the windows at
once but turn as fast as I can.
(34:41):
I can only see her out of oneat a time, and though I always
see her, she may be able tocreep faster than I can turn.
I have watched her sometimesaway off in the open country
creeping as fast as a cloudshadow in a high wind.
If only the top pattern couldbe gotten off from the under one
(35:05):
.
I mean to try it.
Little by little I have foundout another funny thing, but I
shan't tell it this time.
It does not do to trust peopletoo much.
There are only two more days toget this paper off, and I
believe John is beginning tonotice.
I don't like the look in hiseyes, and I heard him ask Jenny
(35:28):
a lot of professional questionsabout me.
She had a very good report togive.
She said I slept a good deal inthe daytime.
John knows I don't sleep verywell at night For all I'm so
quiet.
He asked me all sorts ofquestions too and pretended to
be very loving and kind as if Icouldn't see through him.
Still, I don't wonder he actsso, sleeping under this paper
(35:54):
for three months.
It only interests me, but Ifeel sure John and Jenny are
secretly affected by it.
Hurrah, this is the last day,but it is enough.
John is to stay in townovernight and won't be out until
this evening.
Jenny wanted to sleep with methe sly thing.
But I told her I shouldundoubtedly rest better for a
(36:14):
night all alone with me the slything.
But I told her I shouldundoubtedly rest better for a
night all alone.
That was clever, for really Iwasn't alone a bit.
As soon as it was moonlight andthat poor thing began to crawl
and shake the pattern, I got upand ran to help her.
I pulled and shook, I shook andshe pulled, and before morning
we had peeled off yards of thatpaper, a strip about as high as
(36:36):
my head and half around the room.
And when the sun came and thatawful pattern began to laugh at
me, I declared I would finish ittoday.
We go away tomorrow and they aremoving all my furniture down
again to leave things as theywere before.
Jenny looked at the wall inamazement, but I told her
merrily that I did it out ofpure spite at the vicious thing.
(36:57):
She laughed and said shewouldn't mind doing it herself.
But I must not get tired howshe betrayed herself that time.
But I am here and no persontouches this paper but me, not
alive.
She tried to get me out of theroom.
It was too patent.
But I said it was so quiet andempty and clean now that I
(37:22):
believed I would lie down againand sleep all I could and not to
wake me even for dinner I wouldcall when I woke.
Now she is gone and the servantsare gone and the things are
gone and there is nothing leftbut that great bedstead nailed
down with the canvas mattress wefound on it.
We shall sleep downstairstonight and take the boat home
(37:43):
tomorrow.
I quite enjoy the room Now.
It is bare again.
How those little children didtear about here.
This bedstead is fairly gnawed,but I must get to work.
I have locked the door andthrown the key down into the
front path.
I don't want to go out.
I don't want to have anybodycome in until John comes.
(38:04):
I want to astonish him.
I've got a rope here that evenJenny did not find.
If that woman gets out andtries to get away.
I can tie her, but I forgot.
I could not reach far withoutanything to stand on.
This bed will not move.
I tried to lift and push ituntil I was lame and then I got
so angry I bit off a littlepiece at one corner but it hurt
(38:26):
my teeth.
Then I peeled off all the paperI could reach standing on the
floor.
It sticks horribly and thepattern just enjoys it.
All those strangled heads andbulbous eyes and waddling fungus
growths just shriek withderision.
I'm getting angry enough to dosomething desperate.
To jump out of the window wouldbe admirable exercise, but the
(38:49):
bars are too strong even to try.
Besides, I wouldn't do it, ofcourse not.
I know well enough that a steplike that is improper and might
be misconstrued.
I don't like to look out of thewindows even.
There are so many of thosecreeping women and they creep so
fast.
I wonder if they all come outof that wallpaper as I did.
(39:16):
But I am securely fastened nowby my well-hidden rope.
You don't get me out.
You don't get me out in theroad there.
I suppose I shall have to getback behind the pattern when it
comes night, and that is hard.
It is so pleasant to be out inthis great room and creep around
as I please.
(39:37):
I don't want to go outside.
I won't, even if Jenny asked meto, for outside you have to
creep on the ground andeverything is green instead of
yellow.
But here I can creep smoothlyon the floor and my shoulder
just fits in that long smoocharound the wall so I cannot lose
my way.
Why, there's John at the door.
It's no use, young man, youcan't open it how he does call
(40:01):
and pound.
Now he's crying for an axe.
It would be a shame to breakdown that beautiful door, john
dear.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
John dear.
I said in the gentlest voicethe key is down by the front
steps under a plantain leaf.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
That silenced him for a few moments.
Then he said very quietlyindeed open the door, my darling
.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I can't said I the key is down by the front door
under a plantain leaf.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
And then I said it again several times, very gently
and slowly, and said it sooften that he had to go and see.
And he got it, of course, andcame in and stopped short by the
door.
What's the matter?
He cried For God's sake, whatare you doing?
I kept on creeping just thesame, but I looked at him over
(40:50):
my shoulder.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
I've got out at last said I in spite of you and Jane,
I've pulled off most of thepaper, so you can't put me back.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Now why should that man have fainted?
But he did, and right across mypath, by the wall, so that I
had to creep over him every time.
This has been the YellowWallpaper by Charlotte Perkins
(41:23):
Stetson.
You've been listening to RonReed's A Boring Book Series.
Thank you for listening To thisstory.
Are you tired?
You will be.
This is Ron Reads a Boring BookSeries.
In this episode we're going toread the Yellow Wallpaper by
(00:22):
Charlotte Perkins Gilman.
Wallpaper by Charlotte PerkinsGilman.
It's very seldom that mereordinary people like John and
myself secure ancestral hallsfor the summer, colonial mansion
, a hereditary estate, I wouldsay a haunted house, and reach
(00:44):
the height of romantic felicity.
But that would be asking toomuch of fate.
Still, I will proudly declarethat there is something queer
about it, else why should it belet so cheaply and why have
stood so long untenanted?
Have stood so long untenanted?
John laughs at me, of course,but no one expects that in
(01:10):
marriage.
John is practical in the extreme.
He has no patience with faith,an intense horror of
superstition, and he scoffsopenly at any talk of things not
to be felt and seen and putdown in figures.
John is a physician, andperhaps I would not say it to a
(01:33):
living soul, of course, but thisis dead paper and a great
relief to my mind.
Perhaps that is one reason I donot get well faster.
Perhaps that is one reason I donot get well faster.
You see, he does not believe Iam sick.
And what can one do If aphysician of high standing and
(01:59):
one's own husband assuresfriends and relatives that there
is really nothing the matterwith one but temporary nervous
depression, a slight hystericaltendency.
What is one to do?
My brother is also a physician,and also of high standing, and
he says the same thing.
So I take phosphates, orphosphites whichever it is, and
(02:23):
tonics and journeys and the airand exercise, and am absolutely
forbidden to work until I amwell again.
Personally I disagree with theirideas.
Personally I believe thatcongenial work with excitement
(02:44):
and change would do me good.
But what is one to do?
I did right for a while inspite of them, but it does
exhaust me a good deal having tobe so sly about it or else meet
with heavy opposition.
I sometimes fancy that in mycondition if I had less
opposition and more society andstimulus.
(03:07):
But John says the very worstthing I can do is think about my
condition and I confess italways makes me feel bad.
So I will let it alone and talkabout the house, the most
beautiful place.
It is, quite alone, standingwell back from the road, quite
(03:28):
three miles from the village.
It makes me think of Englishplaces that you read about, for
there are hedges and walls andgates that lock in lots of
separate little houses for thegardeners and people.
There is a delicious garden.
I never saw such a garden,large and shady, full of
(03:52):
box-bordered paths, lined with along grape-covered arbor with
seats under them.
There were greenhouses too, butthey are all broken now.
There was some legal trouble, Ibelieve, something about their
heirs and co-heirs.
Anyhow, the place has beenempty for years.
(04:13):
That spoils my ghostliness, I'mafraid, but I don't care.
There's something strange aboutthe house.
I can feel it.
The house, I can feel it.
I even said so to John onemoonlit evening, but he said
(04:34):
what I felt was a drought andshut the window.
I get unreasonably angry withJohn sometimes.
I'm sure I never used to be sosensitive.
I think it's due to thisnervous condition.
But John says if I feel so Ishall neglect proper
self-control.
So I take pains to controlmyself before him at least, and
(04:58):
that makes me very tired.
I don't like our room a bit.
I wanted one downstairs thatopened on the piazza and had
roses all over the window Such apretty old-fashioned chintz
hangings but John would not hearof it.
He said there was only onewindow and not room for two beds
(05:22):
and no near room for him if hetook another.
He is very careful and lovingand hardly lets me stir without
special direction.
I have a scheduled prescriptionfor each hour in the day.
He takes all care for me and soI feel basically ungrateful not
to value it more.
(05:42):
He said we came here solely onmy account, that I was to have
perfect rest and all the air Icould get.
Your exercise depends on yourstrength, my dear, said he, and
your food somewhat on yourappetite, but air you can't
absorb all the time.
So we took the nursery at thetop of the house.
(06:04):
It is a big airy room on thewhole floor.
Nearly it is a big airy room,the whole floor nearly, with
windows that all look, that lookalways, and air and sunshine
galore.
It was nursery first and thenplayground, and gymnasium was
(06:26):
nursery first and thenplayground and gymnasium, I
would judge, for the windows arebarred for little children and
there are rings and things inthe walls.
The paint and paper looked asif a boy's school had used it.
It is stripped off the paper ingreat patches all around the
head of my bed, about as far asI can reach, and in a great
place on the other side of theroom low down.
(06:46):
I never saw worse paper in mylife, one of those sprawling,
flamboyant patterns committingevery artistic sin.
It's dull enough to confuse theI in following, pronounced
enough to constantly irritateand provoke study.
And when you follow the lame,uncertain curves for a little
(07:09):
distance, they suddenly commitsuicide, plunge off at
outrageous angles, destroythemselves in unheard-of
contradictions.
The color is repellent, mostrevolting a smoldering,
uncleanan yellow, strangelyfaded by the slow-turning
sunlight.
It is a dull, yet lurid orangein some places.
(07:33):
I should hate it myself if Ihad to live in this room long.
There comes John and I must putthis away.
He hates to have me write aword.
We have been here two weeks andI haven't felt like writing
(07:56):
before since that first day.
I'm sitting by the window nowup in this atrocious nursery and
there is nothing to hinder mywriting as much as I please,
save lack of strength.
John is away all day and evensome nights when his cases are
serious.
I'm glad my case is not serious, but these nervous troubles are
(08:20):
dreadfully depressing.
John does not know how much Ireally suffer.
He knows there is no reason tosuffer and that satisfies him.
Of course it is onlynervousness.
It does weigh on me so not todo my duty in any way.
I meant to be such a help toJohn, such a real rest and
(08:44):
comfort, and here I am acomparative burden.
Already Nobody would believewhat an effort it is to do, what
little I am able to dress andentertain and order things.
It is fortunate Mary is so goodwith the baby, such a dear baby
, yet I cannot be with him.
(09:04):
It makes me so nervous.
I suppose John was never nervousin his life.
He laughs at me about thiswallpaper.
At first he meant to repaperthe room, but afterwards he said
I was letting it get the betterof me and that nothing was
worse for a nervous patient thanto give way to such fancies.
He said that after thewallpaper was changed it would
(09:27):
be the heavy bedstead and thenthe barred windows and then that
gate at the head of the stairsand so on.
You know the place is doing yougood, he said.
And really dear, I don't careto renovate the house just for a
three months rental then do,let us go downstairs I said
(09:54):
there are such pretty roomsthere.
He then took me in his arms andcalled me a blessed little goose
and said he would go downcellar if I wished and have it
whitewashed into the bargain.
But he is right enough aboutthe beds and windows and things.
(10:15):
It is as airy and comfortable aroom as anyone need wish and of
course I would not be so sillyas to make him uncomfortable
just for a whim.
I'm really getting quite fondof the big room, all but that
horrid paper.
Out of one window I can see thegarden, those mysterious deep
(10:38):
shaded arbors, the riotous oldfashioned flowers and bushes and
gnarly trees.
Out of another I get a lovelyview of the bay and a little
private wharf belonging to theestate.
There is a beautiful shadedlane that runs down there from
the house, lane that runs downthere from the house.
(11:01):
I always fancy I see peoplewalking in these numerous paths
and arbors.
But John has cautioned me not togive way to fancy in the least.
He says that with myimaginative power and habit of
story making, a nervous weaknesslike mine is sure to lead to
all manner of excited fanciesand that I ought to use my good,
my will and good sense to checkthe tendency.
(11:22):
So I try.
I think sometimes that if Iwere only well enough to write a
little it would relieve thepress of ideas and rest me.
But I find I get pretty tiredwhen I try.
It's so discouraging not tohave any advice and
companionship about my work whenI get really well.
(11:43):
John says we will ask CousinHenry and Julia down for a long
visit, but he says he would assoon put fireworks in my
pillowcase as to let me havethose stimulating people about
now.
I wish I could get well faster,but I must not think about that
.
This paper looks at me as if itknew what a vicious influence it
(12:08):
had.
There is a recurrent spot wherethe pattern lulls like a broken
neck and two bulbous eyes stareat you upside down.
I get positively angry with theimpertinence of it and the
everlastingness.
Up and down and sideways theycrawl and those absurd
(12:32):
unblinking eyes are everywhere.
There's one place where twobreaths didn't match and the
eyes go all up and down the line, one a little higher than the
other.
I never saw so much expressionin an inanimate thing before and
(12:53):
we all know how much expressionthey have.
I used to lie awake as a childand get more entertainment and
terror out of blank walls andplain furniture than most
children could find in a toystore.
I remember what a kindly winkthe knobs of our old bureau used
to have, and there was onechair that always seemed like a
strong friend.
I used to feel that if any ofthe other things looked too
(13:18):
fierce, I could always hop intothat chair and be safe.
The furniture in this room isno worse than inharmonious,
however, for we had to bring itall from downstairs.
I suppose when this was used asa playroom they had to take the
nursery things out, and nowonder I never saw such ravages
(13:40):
as the children have made here.
The wallpaper, as I said before, is torn off in spots and it
sticketh closer than a brother.
They must have had perseveranceas well as hatred.
Then the floor is scratched andgouged and splintered, the
plaster itself is dug out hereand there, and this great heavy
(14:04):
bed, which is all we found inthe room, looks as if it had
been through the wars.
I don't mind it a bit, only thepaper.
There comes John's sister.
Such a dear girl as she is andso careful of me, I must not let
her find me writing.
She is a perfect andenthusiastic housekeeper and
(14:28):
hopes for no better profession.
I verily believe she thinks itis the writing which made me
sick, but I can write when sheis out and see her.
A long way off from thesewindows there is one that
commands the road, a lovely,shaded, winding road, and one
that just looks off over thecountry, a lovely country too,
(14:51):
full of great elms and velvetmeadows.
This wallpaper has a kind ofsub-, in a different shade, a
particularly irritating one, foryou can only see it in certain
lights, and not clearly then,but in the places where it isn't
faded and where the sun is justso, I can see a strange,
(15:14):
provoking, formless sort offigure that seems to sulk about
behind that silly conspicuousfront sign.
There's sister on the stairs.
Well, the fourth of july is over, the people are gone and I'm
tired.
John thought it might do megood to see a little company, so
(15:39):
we just had Mother and Nellieand the children down for a week
.
Of course I didn't do a thing.
Jenny sees to everything now,but it tired me all the same.
John says if I don't pick upfaster he shall send me to Weir
Mitchell in the fall.
But I don't want to go there atall.
(16:00):
I had a friend who was in hishands once and she says he is
just like John and my brother,only more so.
Besides, it is such anundertaking to go so far.
I don't feel as if it wasworthwhile to turn my hand over
for anything and I'm gettingdreadfully fretful.
(16:22):
Quirulius, quirulius, quirulius,quirulius.
I cry at nothing and cry mostof the time.
I cry at nothing and cry mostof the time.
Of course I don't when John ishere or anybody else, but when
(16:43):
I'm alone, and I'm alone a gooddeal just now.
John is kept in town very oftenby serious cases, and Jenny is
good and lets me alone when Iwant her to, or two.
So I walk a little in thegarden or down that lovely lane,
sit on the porch under theroses and lie down up here a
good deal.
(17:05):
I'm getting really fond of theroom, in spite of the wallpaper,
perhaps because of thewallpaper.
It dwells in my mind.
So I lie here on this greatimmovable bed, mind.
So I lie here on this greatimmovable bed it's nailed down,
I believe and follow thatpattern about by the hour.
(17:26):
It is as good as gymnastics, Iassure you.
I start, we'll say, at thebottom, down in the corner over
there where it has not beentouched, and I determined for
the thousandth time that I willfollow that pointless pattern to
some sort of a conclusion.
I know a little of theprinciple of design and I know
(17:47):
this thing was not arranged onany laws of radiation or
alternation or repetition orsymmetry or anything else that I
had ever heard of.
It is repeated, of course, bythe breaths, but not otherwise.
Looked at in one way, eachbreath stands alone.
(18:08):
The bloated curves andflourishes, a kind of debased
Romanesque with deliriumtrimmings, go waddling up and
down in isolated columns offatuity, but on the other hand
they connect diagonally and thesprawling outlines run off in
(18:29):
great slanting waves of optichorror, like a lot of wallowing
seaweeds in full chase.
The whole thing goeshorizontally too, at least it
seems so, and I exhaust myselfin trying to distinguish the
order of its going in thatdirection.
They have used a horizontalbreadth for a fries freeze,
(18:53):
freezy, and that addswonderfully to the confusion.
There is one end of the roomwhere it is almost intact, and
there, when the cross lightsfade and the low sun shines
directly upon it, I can almostfancy radiation after all.
The interminable grotesquesseem to form around a common
(19:18):
center and rush off in headlongplunges of equal distraction.
It makes me tired to follow it.
I will take a nap.
I guess I don't know why Ishould write this.
I don't want to, I don't feelable and I know John would think
it absurd.
But I must say what I feel andthink.
In some way it is such a relief, but the effort is getting to
(19:40):
be greater than the relief Halfthe time now I'm awfully lazy
and lie down ever so much.
John says I mustn't lose mystrength and he has me.
Take cod, liver oil and tons oftonics and things, to say
nothing of ale and wine and raremeat.
Nothing of ale and wine andrare meat.
Dear John, he loves me verydearly and hates to have me sick
(20:01):
.
I tried to have a real, earnest, reasonable talk with him the
other day and tell him how Iwish he would let me go and make
a visit to Cousin Henry inJulia, but he said I wasn't able
to go nor able to stand itafter I got there and I did not
make out very good, make out avery good case for myself, for I
(20:23):
was crying before I hadfinished.
It is getting to be a greateffort for me to think straight,
this nervous weakness, Isuppose.
And dear John gathered me up inhis arms and just carried me
upstairs and laid me on the bedand sat by me and read to me
till it tired of my head.
He said I was his darling andhis comfort and all he had and
(20:47):
that I must take care of myselffor his sake and keep well.
He says no one but myself canhelp me out of it and that I
must use my will andself-control and not let any
silly fancies run away with me.
There is one comfort the babyis well and happy and does not
have to occupy this nursery withthe horrid wallpaper.
If he had not used it, thatblessed child would have.
(21:13):
What a fortunate escape.
Why I wouldn't have a child ofmine, an impressionable little
thing, live in such a room forworlds?
I never thought of it before,but it is lucky that John kept
me here.
After all, I can stand it mucheasier than a baby, you see.
Of course I never mentioned itto them anymore.
(21:34):
I am too wise, but I keep watchof it all the same.
There are things in thatwallpaper that nobody knows but
me or ever will.
Behind that outside pattern dims.
The dim shapes get clearerevery day.
It's always the same shape,only very numerous, and it is
(21:58):
like a woman stooping down andcreeping about behind that
pattern.
I don't like it a bit, I wonder.
I begin to think I wish Johnwould take me away from here.
It is so hard to talk with Johnabout my case because he is so
wise, because he loves me so,but I tried it.
Last night it was moonlight.
The moon shines in all around,just as the Sun does.
(22:22):
I hate to see it.
Sometimes it creeps so slowlyand always comes in by one
window or another.
John was asleep and I hated towaken him, so I kept still and
watched the moonlight on thatundulating wallpaper till I felt
creepy.
The faint figure behind seemsto shake the pattern, as if she
(22:44):
wanted to get out.
I got up softly and went to feeland see if the wallpaper did
move, and when I came back Johnwas awake.
What is it, little girl?
He said.
Don't go walking about likethat, you'll get cold.
I thought it was a good time totalk, and so I told him that I
(23:09):
really was not gaining here andthat I wished he would take me
away.
Why, darling.
He said our lease will be up inthree weeks.
I can't see how to leave beforethe repairs are not done at
home and I cannot possibly leavetown just now.
(23:30):
Of course, if you were in anydanger I could and would.
But you really are better, dear, whether you can see it or not.
I am a doctor, dear, and I knowyou are gaining flesh and color
.
Your appetite is better.
I feel really much easier aboutyou.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I don't weigh a bit more said I nor as much, and my
appetite may be better in theevening when you are here, but
it is worse in the morning whenyou are away.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Bless her little heart, he said with a big hug.
She shall be as sick as shepleases.
But now let's improve theshining hours by going to sleep
and talk about it in the morningand you won't go away I asked
gloomily, why, how can I?
Dear, it is only three weeksand then we'll take a nice
(24:25):
little trip of a few days whileJenny is getting the house ready
.
Really, dear, you are better.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Better in body perhaps.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I began and stopped short, for he sat up straight
and looked at me with such astern, reproachful look that I
could not say another word.
My darling, he said I beg ofyou, for my sake and for our
child's sake, as well as foryour own, that you will never
for one instant let that ideaenter your mind.
(24:56):
There is nothing so dangerous,so fascinating to you, to a
temperament like yours.
It is a false and foolish fancy.
Can you not trust me as aphysician when I tell you so?
So of course I said no more onthat score and we went to sleep
(25:20):
before long.
He thought I was asleep first,but I wasn't.
I lay there for hours trying todecide whether that front
pattern and the back patternreally did move together or
separately, or, on a patternlike this, by daylight.
There is a lack of sequence, adefiance of law.
That is a constant irritant.
To a normal mind, the color ishideous and unreliable enough
(25:46):
and infuriating enough, but thepattern is torturing.
You think you have mastered it,but just as you get well
underway in following it, itturns a back somersault and
there you are, it slaps you inthe face, knocks you down and
tramples upon you.
It is like a bad dream.
The outside pattern is a florid, aberresque error, a best
(26:11):
reminding one of a fungus, ifyou can imagine a toadstool in
joints, an interminable stringof toadstools budding and
sprouting and endlessconvolutions.
Why that is something like it?
That is sometimes.
There is one marked peculiarityabout this paper I think nobody
(26:34):
seems to notice but myself, andthat is that it changes as the
light changes.
When the Sun shoots through theeast window I always watch for
that first long straight ray.
It changes so quickly that Ican never quite believe it.
This is why I watch it alwaysby moonlight.
(26:57):
The moon shines in all nightwhen there is a moon.
I wouldn't know it was the samepaper, I would not.
I wouldn't know it was the samepaper.
At night, in any kind of lightand twilight, candlelight,
lamplight and worst of all, bymoonlight, it becomes bars.
The outside pattern I mean thewoman behind it is as plain as
(27:22):
can be.
I didn't realize for a longtime what the thing was that
showed behind that dim subpattern, but now I am quite sure
it is a woman.
By daylight she is subduedquiet.
I fancy it is the pattern thatkeeps her so still.
It is so puzzling.
(27:43):
It keeps me quiet by the hour Ilie down ever so much.
Now John says it is good for meto sleep all I can.
Indeed, he started the habit ofmaking me lie down for an hour
after each meal.
It is a very bad habit, I'mconvinced, for, you see, I don't
sleep.
And that cultivates deceit, forI don't tell, and that
(28:08):
cultivates deceit for I don'ttell him.
Tell them I'm awake.
Oh no, the fact is, I'm gettinga little afraid of John.
He seems very queer sometimes,and even Jenny has an
inexplicable look.
It strikes me occasionally,just as a scientific hypothesis,
that perhaps it is the paper.
(28:28):
I have watched John, when hedid not know I was looking, and
come into the room suddenly onthe most innocent excuses, and I
have called him several timeslooking at the paper, and Jenny
too.
I caught Jenny with her hand onit once.
She didn't know I was in theroom, and when I asked her in a
quiet, a very quiet voice, withthe most restrained manner
(28:52):
possible, what she was doingwith the paper, she turned
around as if she had been caughtstealing and looked quite angry
and asked me why I shouldfrighten her.
So then she said that the paperstained everything it touched,
that she had found yellowsmooches on all my clothes and
(29:12):
johns and she wished we would bemore careful.
Did not that sound innocent?
But I know she was studyingthat pattern and I am determined
that nobody shall find it outbut myself.
Life is very much more excitingnow than it used to be.
You see, I have something moreto expect, to look forward to,
(29:32):
to watch.
I really do eat better and I'mmore quiet than I was.
John is so pleased to see meimprove.
He laughed a little the otherday and said I seemed to be
flourishing inside of mywallpaper.
I turned it off with a laugh.
I had no intention of tellinghim it was because of the
(29:53):
wallpaper.
He would make fun of me.
He might even want to take meaway.
I don't want to leave now untilI have found it out.
There is a week more and Ithink that will be enough.
I am feeling ever so muchbetter.
I don't sleep much at night, forit is so interesting to watch
developments, but I sleep a gooddeal in the daytime.
(30:16):
In the daytime it is tiresomeand perplexing.
There are always new shoots onthe fungus and the new shades of
yellow all over it I cannotkeep count of them.
It is the strangest yellow,that wallpaper.
It makes me think of all theyellow things I ever saw, not
(30:39):
beautiful ones like buttercups,but old, foul, bad yellow things
.
But there is something elseabout that wallpaper the smell.
I noticed it the moment we cameinto the room.
But with so much air and sun itwas not bad the room, but with
so much air and sun it was notbad.
Now we have had a week of fogand rain and whether the windows
(30:59):
are open or not, the smell ishere.
It creeps all over the house.
I find it hovering in thedining room, skulking in the
parlor, hiding in the hall,lying in wait for me on the
stairs.
It gets into my hair Even whenI go for a ride.
If I turn my head suddenly andsurprise it, there's that smell,
such a peculiar odor too.
(31:20):
I have spent hours trying toanalyze it, to find what it
smelled like.
It's not bad at first and verygentle, but quite the subtlest,
most enduring odor I ever met Inthis damp weather.
It is awful.
I wake up in the night and findit hanging over me.
It used to disturb me at first.
(31:40):
I thought seriously of burningthe house to reach the smell,
but now I'm used to it.
The only thing I can think ofis that it is like.
It is the only thing I canthink of it.
The only thing I can think ofthat it is like is the color of
(32:04):
paper a yellow smell.
There is a dark.
There is a very funny mark onthis wall low down near the mop
board, a streak that runs aroundthe room.
Low down near the mop board, astreak that runs around the room
.
He goes behind every piece offurniture except the bed, a long
straight, even smooch, as if ithad been rubbed over and over.
I wonder how it was done andwho did it and what they did it
(32:28):
for.
Round and round and round,round and round and round.
It makes me dizzy.
I really have discoveredsomething at last Through
watching so much at night whenit changes.
So I finally found out.
The front pattern does move andno wonder the woman behind
shakes it.
Sometimes I think there are agreat many women behind and
(32:53):
sometimes only one, and shecrawls around fast and her
crawling shakes it all over.
Then in the very bright spotsshe keeps still, and in the very
shady spots she just takes holdof the bars and shakes them
hard and she is all the timetrying to climb through.
But nobody could climb.
But nobody could climb throughthat pattern.
(33:13):
It strangles, so I think thatis why it has so many heads.
They get through and then thepattern strangles them off and
turns them upside down and makestheir eyes white.
If those heads were covered ortaken off it would not be half
so bad.
I think that woman gets out inthe daytime and I'll tell you
(33:38):
why.
Privately I've seen her.
I can see her out of every oneof my windows.
It is the same woman I know,for she is always creeping and
most women do not creep bydaylight.
I see her on that long shadedlane creeping up and down.
I see her in those dark grapearbors creeping all around the
(33:59):
garden.
I see her on that long roadunder the trees creeping along,
and when a carriage comes shehides under the blackberry vines
.
I don't blame her a bit.
It must be very humiliating tobe caught creeping by daylight.
I always lock the door when Icreep by daylight.
I can't do it at night for Iknow John would suspect
(34:20):
something at once.
And John is so queer now that Idon't want to irritate him.
I wish he would take anotherroom.
Besides, I don't want anybodyto get that woman out at night
but myself.
I often wonder if I could seeher out of all the windows at
once but turn as fast as I can.
(34:41):
I can only see her out of oneat a time, and though I always
see her, she may be able tocreep faster than I can turn.
I have watched her sometimesaway off in the open country
creeping as fast as a cloudshadow in a high wind.
If only the top pattern couldbe gotten off from the under one
(35:05):
.
I mean to try it.
Little by little I have foundout another funny thing, but I
shan't tell it this time.
It does not do to trust peopletoo much.
There are only two more days toget this paper off, and I
believe John is beginning tonotice.
I don't like the look in hiseyes, and I heard him ask Jenny
(35:28):
a lot of professional questionsabout me.
She had a very good report togive.
She said I slept a good deal inthe daytime.
John knows I don't sleep verywell at night For all I'm so
quiet.
He asked me all sorts ofquestions too and pretended to
be very loving and kind as if Icouldn't see through him.
Still, I don't wonder he actsso, sleeping under this paper
(35:54):
for three months.
It only interests me, but Ifeel sure John and Jenny are
secretly affected by it.
Hurrah, this is the last day,but it is enough.
John is to stay in townovernight and won't be out until
this evening.
Jenny wanted to sleep with methe sly thing.
But I told her I shouldundoubtedly rest better for a
(36:14):
night all alone with me the slything.
But I told her I shouldundoubtedly rest better for a
night all alone.
That was clever, for really Iwasn't alone a bit.
As soon as it was moonlight andthat poor thing began to crawl
and shake the pattern, I got upand ran to help her.
I pulled and shook, I shook andshe pulled, and before morning
we had peeled off yards of thatpaper, a strip about as high as
(36:36):
my head and half around the room.
And when the sun came and thatawful pattern began to laugh at
me, I declared I would finish ittoday.
We go away tomorrow and they aremoving all my furniture down
again to leave things as theywere before.
Jenny looked at the wall inamazement, but I told her
merrily that I did it out ofpure spite at the vicious thing.
(36:57):
She laughed and said shewouldn't mind doing it herself.
But I must not get tired howshe betrayed herself that time.
But I am here and no persontouches this paper but me, not
alive.
She tried to get me out of theroom.
It was too patent.
But I said it was so quiet andempty and clean now that I
(37:22):
believed I would lie down againand sleep all I could and not to
wake me even for dinner I wouldcall when I woke.
Now she is gone and the servantsare gone and the things are
gone and there is nothing leftbut that great bedstead nailed
down with the canvas mattress wefound on it.
We shall sleep downstairstonight and take the boat home
(37:43):
tomorrow.
I quite enjoy the room Now.
It is bare again.
How those little children didtear about here.
This bedstead is fairly gnawed,but I must get to work.
I have locked the door andthrown the key down into the
front path.
I don't want to go out.
I don't want to have anybodycome in until John comes.
(38:04):
I want to astonish him.
I've got a rope here that evenJenny did not find.
If that woman gets out andtries to get away.
I can tie her, but I forgot.
I could not reach far withoutanything to stand on.
This bed will not move.
I tried to lift and push ituntil I was lame and then I got
so angry I bit off a littlepiece at one corner but it hurt
(38:26):
my teeth.
Then I peeled off all the paperI could reach standing on the
floor.
It sticks horribly and thepattern just enjoys it.
All those strangled heads andbulbous eyes and waddling fungus
growths just shriek withderision.
I'm getting angry enough to dosomething desperate.
To jump out of the window wouldbe admirable exercise, but the
(38:49):
bars are too strong even to try.
Besides, I wouldn't do it, ofcourse not.
I know well enough that a steplike that is improper and might
be misconstrued.
I don't like to look out of thewindows even.
There are so many of thosecreeping women and they creep so
fast.
I wonder if they all come outof that wallpaper as I did.
(39:16):
But I am securely fastened nowby my well-hidden rope.
You don't get me out.
You don't get me out in theroad there.
I suppose I shall have to getback behind the pattern when it
comes night, and that is hard.
It is so pleasant to be out inthis great room and creep around
as I please.
(39:37):
I don't want to go outside.
I won't, even if Jenny asked meto, for outside you have to
creep on the ground andeverything is green instead of
yellow.
But here I can creep smoothlyon the floor and my shoulder
just fits in that long smoocharound the wall so I cannot lose
my way.
Why, there's John at the door.
It's no use, young man, youcan't open it how he does call
(40:01):
and pound.
Now he's crying for an axe.
It would be a shame to breakdown that beautiful door, john
dear.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
John dear.
I said in the gentlest voicethe key is down by the front
steps under a plantain leaf.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
That silenced him for a few moments.
Then he said very quietlyindeed open the door, my darling
.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I can't said I the key is down by the front door
under a plantain leaf.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
And then I said it again several times, very gently
and slowly, and said it sooften that he had to go and see.
And he got it, of course, andcame in and stopped short by the
door.
What's the matter?
He cried For God's sake, whatare you doing?
I kept on creeping just thesame, but I looked at him over
(40:50):
my shoulder.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
I've got out at last said I in spite of you and Jane,
I've pulled off most of thepaper, so you can't put me back.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Now why should that man have fainted?
But he did, and right across mypath, by the wall, so that I
had to creep over him every time.
This has been the YellowWallpaper by Charlotte Perkins
(41:23):
Stetson.
You've been listening to RonReed's A Boring Book Series.
Thank you for listening To thisstory.
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