September 14, 2025 • 64 mins
What are your true core values, and are you actually living by them? In this powerful conversation, I sit down with transformational leadership coach Vanessa Yu to explore the hidden role values play in shaping our choices, leadership, and overall fulfillment.
Together, we dive into why so many of us aren’t even aware of our real values, how to distinguish between inherited beliefs and authentic truths, and what happens when we begin to align our lives and leadership with what matters most.
Vanessa shares insights on “rooted leadership”; a grounded, values-driven approach that rewires how we lead ourselves and others. You’ll hear stories of transformation, practical tools for discovering your own values, and steps to take when you feel out of alignment.
If you’re ready to shift your perspective, lead with integrity, and open your life to deeper clarity and purpose, this episode will inspire you to get rooted in your values, and rise from there.
✨ Connect with Vanessa: coachvanessayu.com
You can reach out to Vanessa through her website and she will provide you a complimentary assessment that will help you deepen and discover your core values newly or for the first time.
Looking for confirmation, guidance, or support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant, or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
Book a 30-min Discovery Session Here
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, I sit down with the transformational
leadership coach, vanessa Yu.
If you're ready to shift yourperspective, lead with integrity
and open your life to deeperclarity and purpose, this
episode will inspire you to getrooted in your values and rise
from there.
Let's do it.
Welcome to Rooted in Rising.
I'm your host, tara Michelle,intuitive guide, storyteller and
(00:22):
fellow traveler on this wildpath of becoming.
This is a space for the soul,ed, for the ones unraveling old
stories, tending to theirhealing and rising, not
perfectly but powerfully, intowho they are here to be.
Here we explore what it meansto live with intention, to love
with depth and to trust thateven the hard things are shaping
(00:44):
us.
I'll share pieces of my ownjourney the cracks, the beauty,
the breakthroughs and invitevoices who are walking this path
too, because I believe lifeisn't happening to us, it's
happening for us.
So come as you are, root in andrise up, and thank you truly,
thank you for being here.
Welcome back to Rooted inRising, the podcast where we
(01:07):
help you ground deeply in yourtruth and rise powerfully from
it.
I'm Tara Michelle, the host ofthe show.
I'm excited to introduce myguest, vanessa Yu, a leadership
and executive coach who helpsleaders stop performing and
start leading from who theyreally are, with bold clarity,
grounded compassion and energythat fuels their vision.
Vanessa's training blends deepcoaching methodologies, somatic
(01:31):
work, generative trance,internal family systems and
embodied relational skills.
Her own business core values,which is vitality, connection,
growth, compassion and integrity, run through everything she
does, and they're exactly thecompass we'll be exploring today
.
So here we go.
So okay, so I'm excited becauseI love your topics of leadership
(01:55):
, rewired and rooted leadership,and so I want to just dive
right into this, if we can, andfirst I want to say thank you
for being on the show.
I'm really excited to have youbecause it's gonna be a lot of
fun.
I have some questions, becauseI looked over your website and I
love what you do, and when wetalk about core values, you know
(02:17):
really rooted leadership,rewiring leadership.
I want to ask, because wetalked a little bit about this
the other day, what really arecore values beyond the buzzwords
, and how does that show upinside of leadership?
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Ah, great question.
What are core values?
When I work with my clients,the way I describe it, they are
what bring you meaning andpurpose.
A lot of people confuse theirvalues with needs or wants,
(03:03):
desires, but really, when youunpack values, they're what
light you up, they turn you onlike a light bulb on.
They feel so meaningful theybring you to purpose, so
(03:31):
meaningful they bring you topurpose, and they don't just
appear one day You've had themsince you were little.
If I'm correct, from a class Itook, you can start seeing
values at the age of five.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh, I believe it.
I believe it because there's.
You know, a lot of the workI've done over the years is, um,
you know, I did some reallycool courses with landmark
education, but one of the thingswe talked about was strategies,
and by the time you're fiveyears old, you have every
strategy in place of how you'reactually going to live your life
, like you've already decidedhow you're going to navigate the
(04:04):
survival.
Is that fascinating?
By five years old, it's done,and that's why when you're
driving down the road andthere's like some Yahoo on the
road and then you behave in sucha way and you're like, oh, how
old was that?
I was like four, just now, youknow.
And so there was this otherjoke when we were in that course
.
If you think about how most ofus have created these strategies
(04:25):
that really, up to five yearsold, you have them all in place
and you can see that in thepolitical system, you can see
that in leadership withincorporation, on how people
behave, sometimes like whenthey're triggered, and they
behave from a five-year-oldspace, their default.
Yes, because that defaultstrategy is at play.
(04:46):
And so, yeah, that's you know.
And I want to ask you know, whydo you think so many people
actually struggle to understandor figure out their values?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Honestly, I don't think people are trying hard
enough to figure out theirvalues, their compass.
We are in a society where we'reconsumers, we're consuming what
everyone else is doing.
We're consuming so much ofsocial media as we're in the
comparison game.
I don't think enough peoplestop and slow down to really
(05:22):
consider.
Stop and slow down to reallyconsider.
Then the small percentage ofthose who slow down and consider
may not have the language toarticulate what's really going
on inside them Right, toarticulate how come, when.
Sometimes I do this, I'm fullof energy, I'm in flow, I light
(05:44):
up, I do this, I'm full ofenergy, I'm in flow, I light up.
It's I mean I mentioned this toyou earlier when I spoke to you
Zero percent of my clients knowtheir values.
Right, I've coached over ahundred people, yes, and I ask
every one of them do you happento know your values?
And there's always, tara, along pause.
(06:06):
Maybe I get family or faith.
I don't get anything deeper, Idon't get specific language.
They just don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Well, share with us what is specific language Like.
If I were to ask you, vanessa,what are your core values, what
would you say?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
since I was a little tiny girl.
When I would play by myself, Iwould bring out this chalkboard
my parents bought me and I wouldteach my pretend class.
It was instilled in me at ayoung young age Teaching.
I love teaching.
It lights me up.
Mastery.
That one was a game changer forme that I really value mastery.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
What does mastery look like to you?
Because I love that, I lovelike the word mastery.
I don't think people would evenconsider that mastery being a
core value.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Yeah, yeah, it's for me.
I find so much joy and so muchenergy becoming really good at
something, whether it's a skill,whether it's a concept.
So for me, as a coach, now Iunderstand why I'm so drawn to
(07:37):
being an ICF certified coach.
Sure.
There's a pathway to masteryRight For people who don't value
mastery.
That's not going to light themup, it's actually going to
inhibit them.
It might make them feel trapped, but for me, that lights me up
Lights you up, yeah, I want tokeep learning and honing in on
(07:59):
skills, to master the skill.
So for me that was a big one,and another one that the
language around this, when I wasable to pinpoint it was a game
changer, was catalyst.
I want to be a change agent,that's.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
It's so funny you say change agent yeah.
That's what it means for me.
Yeah, I used to put that in myresume, like I'm a change agent.
I'm a change agent.
That's probably one of yourvalues.
It is Like I am all about and Ihave to admit it's probably one
of the values that gets in theway of the roles I've taken on,
because in a lot of the settingsthat I'm, you know the managers
(08:40):
I typically am under they wantyou to just follow their
directive.
Yeah, managers I typically amunder.
They want you to just followtheir directive.
And I'm a change agent and soI'm a little bit disruptive.
I always joke and say I'm likethe Joan of Arc.
I'm the Joan of Arc ofcorporation, and when people
aren't being served and whenthere's a lack of integrity, and
(09:00):
if it's like a lack ofintegrity on the team, I'm like
the change agent.
It gets me in trouble all thetime because, I just I stand for
greater level of service toothers and integrity to your
team.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Yes, I hear that, and if you had a really good
manager, he or she would haveleveraged that Right.
Haven't found that yet, vanessa, and that's, that's why I love
coaching leaders, because whenthey do this work of discovering
their own values and thenexperimenting with them, playing
with them, they see whathappens to them and the impact
(09:38):
it has on their leadership.
It has on their team and thenthey do the same thing with
their team.
They're like on their team, andthen they do the same thing
with their team.
They're like they start saying,oh Bob, here is he, lights up
with teaching.
Yes, let's see what I can do togrow.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That yes, yes.
And I think often, so often,what's missing and why I love
what you're up to in thecorporate space is so much of
what's missing is leadersunderstanding and realizing that
your success is totally drivenby your team.
Like it isn't about you shiningand then your team to shine.
(10:16):
Your whole job is to get thatteam to shine and then you shine
.
And I don't know if that's likean old paradigm where it's like
well, I'm the leader, sotherefore you shine.
And I don't know if that's likean old paradigm where it's like
, well, I'm the leader, sotherefore I shine.
No, like, get your team awinning team and then you're
like, you know, you shine.
(10:37):
And I think there's a lot ofleaders like I see this.
From my perspective, I see alot of leaders that they know
that as a context or they knowit as a idea, but they don't
necessarily know how to apply itand to really integrate it yes.
(10:57):
And I think this is a good seguewhen we are looking at values
like how do we distinguishvalues between what we've
inherited but what'sauthentically ours?
Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Yes, because I have seen clients who they'll take
the assessment I give and Ialways ask does any of this
surprise you?
And one time I had someone saythat creativity popped up and he
was shocked I can't believethis is here and he's he's a CFO
(11:35):
, so he doesn't really ever usecreativity.
Right before we unpacked it werealized, he realized, oh
goodness, I was a very creativechild, but his father would
squash it, wouldn't allow it,right, for whatever reason,
right.
So anytime he would bring thecreativity to play to, however
(11:59):
it was showing up in childhood,his father would always squash
it showing up in childhood, hisfather would always squash it,
so that value was hidden.
It was hidden.
It was like put away in thecloset.
But when he took the assessment, it showed up Right.
That's one case where it wasthere but someone didn't agree
with it.
Right, right, someone didn'tallow it.
(12:21):
It's not okay for a boy to becreative Right Situation.
So what was really fun was webrought it to the surface and we
start.
He started playing with it as aCFO.
I love that and it was amazing.
He started changing up themeanings, a little more
(12:42):
creativity.
Yes.
His processing system startedchanging.
Then I've seen other clientswhere, as we do the work with
the value, the specific value,they realize that was mom and
dad's value and it wasn't trulytheirs.
And I have to say that was myexperience.
(13:04):
And it wasn't truly theirs andI have to say that was my
experience.
I've been discovering I reallyvalue adventure and I was
shocked it wasn't showing up inmy personal assessment.
I take it every year becauseI'm curious, because values
aren't supposed to change, right?
Yes, yes, and mine haven'tchanged.
They've shifted, but I'mnoticing that adventure is
(13:26):
climbing a little higher and Irealized because my parents
didn't grow that part of me Iremember I wanted to study
abroad in college.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah, oh gosh, yeah, my son really wants that.
I'm like, okay, let's figure itout.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, yeah, to feel that adventure.
Yes, my dad was scared for meand so that adventure part of me
was very limited.
And now, as a middle-aged woman, I am like I actually really
love adventure and my husband,who's at Mr Adventure, it's one
of his core values.
(14:03):
He's bringing it out in me andit's been amazing for me.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
So you know there's no formula, but the more you
unpack values and you work withthem and you play with them, the
more you know it resonates withyou.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Well, I think it goes back to how many of us have
grown up to be something inwhatever career, like I'm a
doctor or I'm a lawyer or I'm awhatever and you wake up and
realize I'm only this becausethat's what my parents wanted me
to be and it's not really whattruly sings to me, and I think
that that's fascinating becausein the same I think we can even,
(14:42):
you know there's layers of thatin relationships where I've
seen a lot of people in this dayand age where they realize,
well, I got married, I had kids,I did all the things because I
thought that's what I wassupposed to do, and you know.
And then they wake up one dayand they're like, wait a minute,
Like who am I really?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
What is it that I really?
Want.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I just find that fascinating, because I think so
often we don't really know thetruth of who we are or the truth
of what we really desire,because it has been so covered
up by all the things we think weshould do or the things we
think we should be, and thenlife starts happening at a
million miles an hour and you'rejust doing, doing, doing, doing
(15:24):
, doing, rather than justactually being in your body to
really listen.
Like what is it that reallyspeaks to me?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
So yeah, I didn't know how to do that, tara, when
you're saying being your bodylike, I remember being 41, just
had my surprise baby and quit myjob that I enjoyed and I was
nervous to be a stay-at-home momagain because all these
(15:51):
feelings of resentment startedbubbling up and I remember
thinking I can't do that again,even though duty in me says to
do that, even though I know theresearch of a stay-at-home mom
you know, the positive impact.
(16:11):
And I enjoyed my years as astay-at-home mom, but underneath
there was a lot of resentmentLike what's happening to me.
I don't want to lose me again.
I remember crying to my husbandlike I can't have my wings
snipped again.
Oh my gosh husband, like Ican't have my wings snipped
again, oh my gosh.
And so I hired a life coachbecause I did not know what to
do with myself and I was hopingshe was going to tell me what to
(16:33):
do.
Right, but I started todiscover me and what.
I love and we?
she would say, like let'spretend there's no fear, Right?
What would you do?
Like I would own a business butI don't know what.
So then it led me down the pathof coaching, and in my coaching
(16:55):
program they have a mandatoryclass all coaches have to take,
called personal foundation.
Yep.
Tara, that was a game changer.
It was all on needs and values,and once I saw that my needs
for that season of life, and ifthey're not being met, then I
can't lean into values.
(17:16):
Nope, because when you are nothaving your needs met, you're in
survival mode.
Yep.
All the time.
But most people in America arein survival mode, in survival
mode, 100% they don't have theluxury to sit down and think
about their values right, tryingto get these needs met.
And so I had to learn how do Imeet my own needs Right, instead
(17:38):
of fostering codependency Rightby wanting my husband to meet
my needs, my kids to meet myneeds, my job to meet my needs?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It is all within you.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
And I learned that I have to meet my own needs, I
have to advocate.
I was giving my power away.
So once I did that work, then Iwas able to really lean into my
values and that's when thelight just went on inside me.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
You know, and I love this because this is a perfect
segue.
I wanted to talk about livingout of alignment and what
happens in someone's life whenthey're not aligned with their
values, like what happens whenyou're not aligned.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Resentment, anger, victim, victim.
Oh, I was a victim and I was amartyr.
And then I was really upsetwhen no one else was the martyr.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Right.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Because I was always the martyr.
Yeah, and you're unhappy.
I remember my husband wouldtell me you're so unhappy I
don't know what it is, vanessaYou're so unhappy.
I had a home, I had children,you had all the things and I was
so unhappy.
Even my faith I had, but I wasinwardly so dry.
(18:57):
Nothing was bringing a wholelot of meaning to me at that
season of life, mm-hmm.
So when you're out of alignment, there's the red flags like
resentment, victim projection,projecting your feelings on
(19:18):
others.
You're not a risk taker.
No, you're not connecting well.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
No, no.
And when we talk about being arooted leader, or rooted leader
or leadership rewire, what isthe impact on others when a
leader let's just say in careeris out of alignment with their
core values?
What's the impact on their team?
What have you seen?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I see a team that, instead of thrives, they shrink.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
And you know what?
I'm just gonna throw this outhere because I know there's a
lot of moms that listen to thisshow and I really want you to
listen, like those that arelistening to this show.
Although we're talking aboutleadership, I want you to
consider that you are a leaderin your life yeah.
Or you wouldn't be listening tothe show.
But you may not have acorporate job, or you may have a
(20:11):
very avant-garde job orwhatever.
But even consider as a parentyou're the leader, so the team
is your family.
That's right, that's right.
Or as a student, you're theleader and the team is your
class.
Or in a project, you're theleader and the people on the
(20:31):
project are you know?
I really want everybody tolisten for themselves.
When we're talking leadership,it really is not just like, oh,
you have some, the core withinyou that you yourself, you were
rooted into this realm calledleader within you and how do you
show up?
So I just want to remind peoplebecause I love this question
(20:55):
when we're living out ofalignment for real, how that
impacts your life on all levels.
And you know what?
I don't know if this is a corevalue.
I feel like it is, butrelationship is like a core
value for me.
When I'm not in relationship, Iam in total survival mode.
(21:18):
When I'm in a really healthy,connected relationship I can do
anything.
And I once had a coach yearsago that I did.
I can't remember what kind oftest it was, one of those tests
that tells you who you are.
And she said, when you're notin relationship, things don't
work for you.
And I was like, oh, come on.
But over the years I was like,damn it, she's right.
(21:40):
When I'm in a relationship,when I have that piece managed,
I can go do anything else.
If I don't have that piecemanaged, things feel very
disjointed, difficult, and Idon't want to say I'm in victim
mode, but there I'm definitelyin what's, I am in survival mode
(22:01):
like full blown survival mode,like I can't, I, I it's the
weirdest thing.
And I say that because I'm I'mactually in a very healthy,
nurturing, very lovingrelationship right now and I'm
looking at the difference.
I'm like whoa, you know, andthen, having lost my job this
week, like I'm like, so whatit's like there's, it's's, it's
(22:24):
amazing to see the difference.
And you, what would?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
you say, is the impact on those around you when
you're misaligned, when you'renot in a deeper connection with
someone, that relational piece?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Oh yeah, I can speak for my son, like I'm more
stressed.
I mean we have a prettypeaceful house, but I'm more
stressed I'm I'm less connectedto him.
Because I'm less connected tohim, because I'm always in this
space of survival of what do Ineed to do to make the money, to
pay the bills, to do the house,to do the dogs.
(22:57):
It's constant.
I'm never centered and at peacein my body, so scarcity takes
over.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
That's the impact Scarcity.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Total scarcity.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Now being in this loving, healthy relationship.
You're in this value of beingconnected so amazing.
Who do you become when you'reliving out this?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
value.
I'm like the queen of my realm.
I'm at peace.
It's funny.
I went over to his house theother day after I got laid off.
He's like you're radiating andI'm like it's because I'm with
you.
But then I was like I think I'mradiating because I just for
one, I'm out of a job that Iwasn't happy with, right, like I
(23:40):
was not aligned with that role.
It wasn't that I wasn't alignedwith the role, I wasn't aligned.
I'm just not aligned with that,with that industry right now.
I just I'm I'm kind of donewith that industry.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I don't want to say it that way, but that's how it
feels.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
And my true alignment is what we're doing here right
now.
My true alignment is to speak,is to coach, is to teach, is to
heal, is to restore, repair, tobe of service, like that is my
true passion and calling, yeah,I feel it, yes, like that's my
thing and that like anybody canhire me.
You want me to go love on yourclients and be of service and
(24:12):
like, do all the magic there.
I'm so happy.
But if you want me to do thisother stuff, it just doesn't.
It just doesn't resonate.
But wait, what was yourquestion?
I forgot.
Oh, so who?
Speaker 3 (24:21):
do you become?
Who do you become?
Who do you?
Speaker 1 (24:27):
become.
I become grace.
I just become grace, ease, flow, peace, love, like that's what
it feels like Beautiful, yeah,and it feels like the queen of
my realm, like the king and thequeen, and it's like we have the
realm and it just feels we havethe realm and it just feels it
(24:48):
feels peaceful.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Yeah, and how well do you honor that daily?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Right now I'm honoring it a lot, okay, like
I'm so aware and grateful for itbecause there have been times
when I would have glimpses orfeelings of this and I wouldn't
allow myself to stay in thatspace.
I think also the difference too, is I'm with somebody that
(25:18):
where it's a healthy situationit's not toxic.
So even if I'm in arelationship that's toxic,
there's still that survival lack, there's still that scarcity in
the background, because thenI'm worried like when's the
relationship going to end?
Is it going to end.
Is it going to end?
Is it going to end?
Like that's what's in thebackground where I'm not going
to say that I don't have thosethoughts sometimes because we're
(25:40):
still kind of new in thissituation, but I really don't
have those thoughts Like I justdon't.
I have more of creationthoughts.
I'm in the space of creation,like I can create, and there's
that overflow, feeling likeabundance, and it's coming, it's
.
It's like an energizingabundance.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I don't know how to explain it, but that's how it
feels If you look at other areasof your life.
Are you?
How well are you honoring thisvalue of connection?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
How am I honoring this value of connection?
I guess what comes up for me islike well, what does that
really mean, vanessa?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
And this is an example of what coaching is like
.
Yes, we're unpacking our valuesLike where are you?
Maybe not honoring it?
Or maybe I would start goinginto the other perspective of
how's your relationship withyourself?
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Relationship with self, I think is very good.
Self Relationship with self, Ithink is very good.
I think relationship with selfis what has actually got me in
this relationship, because I'mat a place where I truly am
attracting yeah, like I'm trulyattracting who I believe myself
to be, you know, like thisperson's really my equal
spiritually emotionally,mentally, physically, like all
(27:04):
of those things.
He's my equal.
So, yeah, you know, but I thinkthat there's times when I don't
honor it with myself.
Physically, you know, whetherit's not sleeping enough, you
(27:28):
know, or not resting enough,because I'm a doer, doer, doer,
because I'm a single mom.
So it's just like there's never.
There's never resting time.
It's all the time, 24, seven,and I have been forcing myself.
It's great that you asked this,because I've been forcing
myself the last um, just thelast couple of weeks of like, no
(27:49):
, when it's seven o'clock,you're done, you're not going to
go work on another project,you're not going to go, you're
going to hang out with your sonon the couch and watch a movie.
You're not going to go.
Well, let me go work on thepodcast.
Like, I will literally worktill midnight.
I'll keep finding stuff to doinstead of allowing myself to be
, and that's where I don'tthat's where I don't honor
(28:10):
myself.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
So then here I would say I challenge you to connect
deeper to yourself.
See what your body needs right,we're talking about your body
needs, right, we're talkingabout your body rests.
Right.
Start experimenting, making alittle more space for this value
to take up a little more spaceright and see what the impact is
(28:35):
.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Right, because we don't even know.
We're so afraid that if we likewell, what would happen if I
wasn't working on this thing orif I didn't go do that thing?
Like, we get afraid that we'regoing to miss out on something.
But I often try to remindpeople you may need to take a
step away for a week fromsomething, just so the energy
(28:56):
can actually fuel it, becauseyou're in the way with all the
doing, the doing, the doing, thedoing, the doing.
Correct, correct.
Yeah.
It's like get out of the way.
This is the hard work right.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
It is Correct.
Correct, yeah, it's like getout of the way.
This is the hard work.
It is Integration.
Yes, I love that IntegrationAbsolutely.
You can take the assessment andknow your top core values, but
then what are you going to dowith it?
And so there needs to be somespace to unpack the values.
How well are you honoring it?
Why are you not honoring it?
What's getting in the way?
(29:27):
Who do you become?
What energy comes forth Like?
What would the impact be?
And then light bulbs startgoing off, and then you start
experimenting.
I'll even tell leaders.
Write an email from this value.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
That's cool.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
And they're like what yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:46):
like how do I do that ?
Speaker 3 (29:49):
You'll figure it out.
You know, show up to a meetingin a certain value or with the
prospect, let that teacher inyou shine and you just start
playing and experimenting towhere it starts becoming really
comfortable.
Yeah.
Because that's where therewiring and that's where the
(30:11):
rewiring happens Because younormally showed up with fear and
maybe scarcity, and so youdefault to this, or your people
pleasing, or your schmoozinessRight.
What if you showed up in all ofyou Right?
Right, what if you showed up inall of you, right with that
value, taking up so much spaceand speaking to a prospect, or
(30:33):
your, your report, or your boss,or your children, right, right
if we're talking to moms here?
Yes, you showed up parentingyour teen from one of your core
values, versus your fear andstress and anxiety and all the
things you think is going tohappen.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yes, Instead of just like they're not going to live
out your life.
I promise you they're not.
You're like I did that and Idon't want you to do that.
So I'm going to make sure thatI'm like watching every move
because I don't want you to dothat, and it's like oh gosh but
that's what we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
My daughter she's 16.
She'll call me out on it andshe says mom, everything you're
saying is from fear she feels it.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
That's so aware.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
So guess what?
Your team feels it, yourprospects feel it, yes, your
boss feels it, yes, yes, thenthat shift needs to happen, and
that's where I work with theclients.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Like how do, how, how , how are we going to help you
shift?
I love that, yeah, Cause youimagine those listening just,
and some of you, many of you,being moms.
But just imagine what it wouldbe like to start parenting and
living your life, even in yourrelationship with you know, your
partner or husband or wife orwhatever, from a core value
instead of from, like the whatwould I, what would I call it,
(31:54):
instead of from your puremachinery of surviving, because
that's really what you're doinghalf the time.
You're just surviving.
You're surviving the moment,surviving the day, because
you're not rooted inside of thisbeautiful space called your
core value, which is your truthat the end of the day, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
It's who you really are.
Yes, and a great way to connectto that is finding its center
in your body.
You mentioned paying attentionto our body and oftentimes when
I have a client like you, youwere really feeling that
relational value, thatconnection.
Where do you feel the center ofthat in your body when you're
(32:36):
in that sphere?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Are you asking me?
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Yeah, where do you feel it?
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I want to say it's heart, but it's also deep in the
sacral.
But there's something about itrooting and like the root chakra
, like I just feel it all in mycore, it almost feels like an
alignment, like all the piecescome together.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Yeah, like it all clicks, so your core in between
your heart and your gut right inthere.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yep, it all just comes together In your heart and
your gut right in there.
Yep, okay, it all just comestogether.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
That's your body telling you right when you're in
alignment and tell me where youare when you're in the stress
and the cortisol and thescarcity.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Oh Lord, when do you?
Speaker 3 (33:15):
feel that.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Where do I feel that?
In my shoulders, in my heart,in my head, yeah, and then I
have low back pain.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Low back pain and hip pain because I don't feel
supported and my root chakra istotally out of alignment because
it's in pure survival mode andit's just surviving, yeah.
And then there's a disconnectfrom the heart stem to the brain
stem.
There's like a disconnect inthere and yeah, and I can see it
(33:53):
like my whole upper shoulderarea, I can see it just like
inflamed red, glowing stress.
You're so visual, Tara.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yes, I am.
So your body, our body, alwayssignals to us right, If we are
in fight, flight, bond freeze,or when we're in our core.
Yes, Our compass.
I call our values the compass,the North.
Star, your North Star, and sowhen you start feeling the lower
back pain and the tens and youfeel like you're up here for me,
(34:23):
like even my head gets hot from, the overthinking.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Oh, like how many people gets hot from the
overthinking.
Like how many people are outthere having headaches and
migraines, like that should be ahuge indicator right there that
you are out of alignment.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Yes, so to shift to the other center of where that
value lies and operate fromthere?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yes, and I wanted to ask you, as we talk about
leadership rewire, whatpractices do you offer or
provide people that help groundthem under pressure and bring
them back to that alignment?
Speaker 3 (34:59):
I do a lot of visualizations with my clients,
like right now, visualizationsum with my clients like right
now just a little bit of wheredo you feel the center?
I do visualizations on relaxingthe nervous system with just a
muscle relaxation from head totoe.
I asked them to remember a timewhere they were connected to
(35:21):
meaning and purpose.
Maybe it was yesterday, maybeit was when you were 16 and you
were on vacation.
Like I just help them gatherthe memory of meaning and
purpose.
And it's so interesting Oncepeople go there and remember
meaning purpose and we go, Iengage all the senses, meaning
(35:47):
purpose and we go, I engage allthe senses.
What does it look like, whatdoes it feel like?
What does it smell like what areyou touching?
What's happening is it'screating a new map, yes, or
recalling an old map that feelsreally good and feels in
alignment with you.
That way, when you're in astressful, you have to go give a
presentation, say I tell themrecall it, recall that memory of
(36:11):
on the lake looking out at theglistening water and you're
smelling the pine trees.
You know making this up as Isay this, but they could easily
recall that memory.
Your body remembers what itfeels like.
So that's, that's one way Ihelp people get grounded and
rooted, and we play a lot withvisualizations.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
What's one thing you could tell people to do right
now that are listening, thatthey can do to get themselves
reconnected or recentered,because they're probably driving
.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
Yeah, in traffic.
I'm so glad you asked this,because this is what we need
more of in corporate America.
This is what we need more of inmotherhood.
Yep, there's this exercise Ilearned in a training I did,
called the Betty Erickson.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
The Betty Erickson.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Induction.
I love that.
And you can go Google it andbasically all it is is using
your senses.
You just ask yourself what areyou I am?
You say I am aware of threethings you see.
So you say I am aware of thispainting in front of me, I am
aware of the window, I am awareof seeing terror on the screen.
(37:28):
And then you go to hearing I'maware of a car driving right by,
I'm aware of my laptop humming.
You start engaging the senses.
And the third one is I'm awarethat I feel.
I'm aware that I feel and youcould do literal feeling or
(37:49):
emotional, and you do it acouple times.
And I teach my clients how to dothis for those who have a hard
time slowing down, because thisone's simple, it's just turning
off the problem-solving mind andbeing really present.
Because to be rooted, you haveto be present.
Yes, to get back to your core,your compass, you have to be
present.
And so what better way thanwhat do I see, what do I hear,
(38:14):
what do I smell?
You can even bring in the smell.
What do I feel?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Because it brings you back to all those senses,
really rooting you in yourphysical self, in your physical
realm that's all around you, andthen pulling.
You're pulling that brain, thatheart.
What is it called?
Speaker 3 (38:30):
That heart-mind connection yes.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, the coherence Bringing the coherence together
and you know, because that'swhat it is all about in terms of
bringing that presence in,which is amazing.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
And you know, I got to practice this with my
six-year-old.
You know, we go on a littlewalk every now and then and I'll
say let's play our game,because I want him to learn this
tool at a young age and.
I'll say what do you hear rightnow?
And he'll hear things that I'mnot hearing Yep.
And then it makes me morepresent hearing Yep.
(39:10):
And then it makes me morepresent Right.
I'm like, wow, buddy, I didn'thear that bird, and it just
completely changes the qualityof our walk.
Yeah.
Because we're both reallypresent.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Yes, so that's the.
That's probably the easiest onefor people to engage with,
that's probably the easiest onefor people to engage with.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
How do you think really understanding your core
values can help with toughdecisions and tough life
decisions.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
Oh woo, yes.
Last question I'm like gonna doa dance party tomorrow.
I'm like going to do a danceparty tomorrow.
The worst place I'm going togive the contrast, the worst
place to make decisions is fromstress, fear, anxiety, because
that cortisol is pumping andyou're going to do anything to
(40:01):
keep yourself safe.
Yeah, that's what our brain istrained to do.
Yeah, warn us when we're notsafe.
So when you make decisions fromthere, you're making them from
fear, which means they're not inalignment with you at all.
Not at all.
You're just surviving.
So I teach my clients how tocalm themselves down, I guide
(40:26):
them and then we tap into ohyeah, I'm safe, my body's safe,
I'm calm.
Let's remember what's importantto me.
Oh yeah, for me, mastery is soimportant.
Whatever value starts bubblingup, whatever's needed, your
unconscious, or whatever valuestarts bubbling up Right,
whatever's needed.
Your unconscious mind knowswhat to bring up.
(40:50):
Yes, it's important to you.
Yes.
And then we say, okay, now let'sbring in the challenge, the
decision that needs to be madeFrom the center what's feeling
important right now?
So usually the question I askwhat feels so important right
now?
And I'll give you an example.
(41:11):
Yes, I had a client, a COO,show up.
He was in a tizzy Tara, he wasa mess, he was stressed, he was
speaking 100 miles per hour.
I know all the signs of fullblown fight or flight.
And he's like I need to decideif I'm going to fire this person
(41:31):
or not.
That's what I want coaching ontoday.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
I needed you to talk to my old manager last week.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
You know, before I had all this training, I would
have said, okay, let's do thepros and cons Right.
Let's do the logic Right.
No, no, no, no, let's calm thisguy down.
And so I did a whole relaxation.
I had already been working withhim for a long time so I knew
his values and he calmed downand I can see through the screen
(42:05):
he's calming down.
I'm reminding him of what'simportant to him, comes back,
you know, he opens his eyes.
I'm like so any insight?
And he said I realize all mystress wasn't about firing this
guy, it's a no brainer, I needto fire him.
It's a no-brainer, I need tofire him.
But it was really interesting.
(42:25):
The stress that I wasexperiencing had nothing to do
with work.
It was my children.
I said really, tell me more.
And he said I've beenneglecting them because he's an
executive, he works long, hardhours and this man is a family
man.
So I was a little surprised.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Right.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
And I was like well, what are you going to do about
it?
He's like I'm going to go to mykid's event tonight.
I wasn't going to go.
That was the source of mystress.
Yes, the guilt.
He said.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
I was just going to say, yeah, the guilt in the
background.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
It was the guilt and shame that he was heaping any
other way, like I couldn't haveknown that.
But when he calmed down, herecentered, he got rooted, he
remembered what's reallyimportant to him.
There was clarity.
So my answer to your questionis you become very decisive
(43:27):
because you're so discerning onwhat's really happening.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Yeah Well, and then you're you're really choosing
from power.
You know what do you mean?
Well, I always say so.
I, I believe this life is amastery of choice.
Okay, but, often like you'rejust, you're just choosing.
Do I need to go to the bathroom?
Do I not need to go to thebathroom?
Should I spend the money?
(43:51):
Should I not spend the moneyLike?
Speaker 3 (43:53):
every second of your day is a choice.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
It's an absolute choice and it's mastery and
choice.
But a lot of times people willmake choices not from powerfully
choosing.
They're choosing from scarcity,lack, fear, total cortisol, no
thought behind it.
It's just like a knee jerkchoice and the next thing you
know you haven't mastered thatchoice, because now that knee
(44:18):
jerk choice just rode you downan even bumpier road.
Yeah, there's consequences,more consequences and more
things to navigate, and so it'scoming back to rooting into
these core values of self truth,discernment, resonance, and
then you're powerfully choosing.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
You're being intentional, yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
Wow, that is powerful .
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah, it's.
You know, one of the exerciseswhen I was at Landmark it was
chocolate vanilla choose and forthe longest time people had a
hard time.
You know they would choose orthey wouldn't choose, and it was
like chocolate vanilla chooseand because we get caught up in
our heads about but if I choosethis, what's going to happen?
And if I choose that, like youjust have to powerfully choose
(45:06):
and then once you choose, yougot to know that you chose it
and there's no going back.
You know you chose that, youpowerfully chose and if you
regret it, you didn't powerfullychoose because you were
operating from this place ofscarcity or fight or flight.
And so, yeah, I mean, I thinkthis is all so amazing because
(45:33):
when we talk about values,resonance, presence, flow, being
at peace, sounds, so good Right, so good and, honestly, I think
that's how we're really allsupposed to be operating every
day.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
The ease and flow.
It's the fruit of living byyour compass.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Right.
And when I see that from amacro perspective, it's not that
it hurts my heart.
Here comes the intuition comingin.
It's when I, after having thisconversation and I see it from
this macro perspective all thesebeautiful human beings on this
planet, more so in this country.
(46:18):
It's been designed to neverallow us to stay rooted in our
compass.
It's been designed toconstantly keep you out of out
of alignment, out of beingrooted, so that you are
constantly in fear, you areconstantly in survival and that
disconnects you from your Godsource energy, which is that
(46:39):
powerful connection where youget to powerfully choose, you
get to powerfully stand, you getto powerfully root and I hope
everybody hears this from apoint of view or from a context
of you know, you, you want to Ihate saying it this way you want
to survive the times, then youhave to get present and root
(47:01):
into yourself fully and you haveto.
You know and I just heard theword sovereign and I know people
don't always like that word,but it really is becoming the
sovereign self.
And you pointed out earlier,vanessa, there's nothing out
here in front of you that isgoing to bring you the peace and
the joy.
That's also a design that islike look the carrots out here,
(47:25):
the carrots out here, keepchasing the carrot.
This carrot's going to make youhappy.
It's over here, here, it ishere.
It is over here.
No, you'll never be happy untilyou start looking in the mirror
, because all of your happinessresides within, and that
happiness is a choice, apowerful choice, and a choice in
which you have to, I believe,really dig deep and look at all
(47:50):
those parts within you that arelike well, what has me feeling,
however?
I'm feeling that doesn't feelgood.
Yeah, you know where is itrooted from and do I need to
hold on to that?
And you know how am Iprojecting it out to my friends,
my family, myself.
How am I?
Am I overeating?
Am I not exercising?
What are the things that I'mdoing to stuff that void or the
(48:13):
noise down?
Yeah, and then I'm just goingto keep operating and chase the
carrot, chase the carrot, chasethe carrot.
No, don't chase the carrot,Like, bring it all back in.
I think I'm a little bit on atangent, but I just see that,
you know, I see that overallpicture and sometimes lately and
I probably am going to stopsharing this because I have to
stop sharing it because theuniverse will powerfully
(48:34):
manifest but lately I have beensensing the desire to sell
everything and leave the US, andnot to run away from the US,
but more to find some littletiny country where life is just
a thousand times slower and Ican enjoy the fruits of life
(48:56):
because, in this countrycurrently.
It's like a meat grinder.
It's just like like we're justgoing to grind them out, you
know, and everybody's chasingthe carrot to pay the bill, to
get the next thing, to pay thatbill, to get the next thing, and
then pay yet another bill andeveryone's forgetting to live.
Now, I shouldn't say everyone,because there's a lot of us like
(49:20):
you myself, and there arepeople listening to this podcast
that are our whole missioninside this meat grinder is like
we're trying to find how do welive at peace and love and
harmony inside of that fast pace.
It's calling you to go spendmore money to make more money,
to spend more money to make moremoney.
No, how about you just be withyour family, be with your kids,
(49:42):
be with your friends?
So yeah, it's a little bit ofmy little.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
Well, tara, when you were speaking, so much was
coming up in me and then youstarted hitting them.
But I want to.
The first thing is we're in asociety that's just distracted.
There's so many distractions.
There is something for everyoneyou know, social media, number
(50:07):
one huge distractor.
See it with my teeth.
It's a constant battle overhere of limits and boundaries,
and then we're distracted withcomparison, the American dream,
right, success, right, there'sso much noise, noise, right,
noise, noise, noise, noise,noise, noise, noise.
(50:28):
What you should be buying, whatyou should be doing, what
success means?
It's just, it's in, it's just,it's embedded in our culture.
Yes, and people don't want todeal with their hard feelings,
they don't want to sit in it.
I didn't Be positive, let'sjust be positive, let's keep
(50:51):
going, then carrot, then there'sthe next carrot.
It's like this game we'replaying.
So there's that piece.
We're just distracted.
So we have to learn to comeback and focus what's going on
inside of us.
The second thing that came upwhen you were speaking was
everyone has the basic need tobe seen and heard and loved or
(51:15):
belong, all of them, percent.
Yeah, that's what people reallywant.
So they're doing all the things, trying to chase the carrot
because someone's gonna lovethem, they think that someone's
gonna, or they were taught thatright, yes, you get an a, you
get a reward.
Yep, you achieve this.
I'll give you this.
(51:36):
Yes, right, mom and dad onlypay attention to me when I
achieve.
Yes, right, we're taught this,so you first have to be seen and
heard by your own self.
That's a whole episode.
I know, I know it really is.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
I'm like I just want to fix that one too.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
You want to be seen, you wantto be heard.
And heard, but you have to dothat first with yourself.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
Yes, because then you can't see and hear others.
No, then the third thing thatcame up in me when you were
talking was the more you live inyour values and you understand
that everyone has their own mapof values, their own compass.
The judgment just melts away.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (52:22):
There's not judging, because everyone has a reason
why they're doing what they'redoing.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
I love that you said that I may not agree, because
it's not my value system Exactly.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
But you know what I have?
Compassion, yes, and it makesme get curious.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Like, oh, tell me more, how come you're being such
a jerk right now?
Right, why is that important toyou?
Yeah, and then you know with myclients.
I'm like, oh, that makes totalsense.
Yeah.
And then you know with myclients.
I'm like, oh, that makes totalsense.
Speaker 1 (52:56):
Yeah, and so it makes us kinder and softer, Softer
and curious and compassionateyes, when you're living in
alignment with your values and Itell people often I've been
kind of beating this one todeath because I I find it very
(53:21):
fitting in this world right now.
We, as souls, all came here tohave our own experience and you
can choose any experience here.
Like you could be the bestplumber, you could be the best
president, you could be theworst president, worst plumber,
you could be the best psychokiller, you could be the worst
president, worst plumber, youcould be the best psycho killer,
you could be the best teacher.
Like you, literally can comehere and live out any desire.
(53:42):
Yeah, we're a right choice.
Yeah, free will and total choice, and it is not for me to judge.
I may not agree with you, I maynot like it, and hey, by the
way, there are some seriousconsequences for some of those
choices.
Yeah, but if that's the pathand experience, your soul is
(54:03):
here to experience.
I have no say in.
That Doesn't mean I want to bearound you.
Maybe, or maybe I do want to bearound you because maybe I love
the choices you're making.
But really I feel a lot of thedistraction, and the noise that
you even brought up is just that, like people having all this
judgment and pointing fingershey, there's three more pointing
(54:26):
right back at you.
So why don't you focus on youand when you find, you then
bring yourself to the party,because then you're going to
bring something so valuable, sovaluable but it's very much what
you said where this is just aculture designed around
distraction and I, I that's awhole nother conversation, Cause
I feel that that distraction isdesigned to keep you
(54:48):
disconnected from source power,God at the end of the day.
And there's even distractionsin those worlds too, Like we
want to talk about God andreligion.
There's a whole, like that's awhole nother thing too.
But again, it's it's you chooseyour lane and live it to the
fullest and enjoy it.
Amen, you know be of service to.
(55:10):
I'm like be of service, damn itbe of service, but that's just
my core value.
That's my core value and youdon't have be of service damn it
be of service, but that's justmy core value.
That's my core value and youdon't have to be of service.
That's just what I choose.
But yeah, it really is.
It really is just coming backto center all the time and
bringing it right back to self.
Like what is it that's importantto me in this moment?
And it's funny, one of thecourses I took years ago it was
(55:33):
very deep in, like psychologyand sociology and things of that
nature, but really what it camedown to is that your whole
existence, for living, is to beseen and heard.
Like your whole existence outthere is, you're trying to show
people look, I exist, I exist, Iexist over here.
Look at my hair, look at myoutfit, look at what I said, I
(55:54):
exist.
Like when you get down, whenyou break down, all the human
layer at the end, like at thevery root of it, is just this,
this being within you, trying toprove that it exists.
And that goes back to beingheard and being seen.
And when you're heard and whenyou're seen, you feel like you
(56:15):
exist.
Somebody sees you, but it's alsoto your point of can you see
others?
Speaker 3 (56:24):
Yeah.
Even if they have a totallydifferent belief system, yes, a
different political view.
Can you allow them?
Speaker 1 (56:33):
Yes, and can then you allow them grace to have that,
because I believe that there'ssomething beautiful in whatever
their choice is yeah.
They're learning somethingreally beautiful and deep and
valuable to themselves that theywill contribute to this greater
good over time.
Yes, so, oh, my gosh like somany things we could go down.
Speaker 3 (56:54):
I know when you were saying that.
It reminds me of.
I truly believe that everyhuman is amazing, right we?
Speaker 1 (57:04):
are all here to make a difference.
Speaker 3 (57:05):
Yes, and when I talk to someone, wherever it is, I
want to figure out what theiramazingness is.
Yes, and that's probablybecause I'm a coach and I love
service.
Speaker 1 (57:17):
Well, it's, it's because that's, that's part of
your core value.
Yeah.
And it's a light that shines.
Yes, yes.
Yes, and and and.
For me, maybe it's becausethat's my core value also.
For me, I, I and I just gotchills.
I, I really believe I'm like.
For me, I and I just got chills.
I really believe I'm like youknow, that's God's gift.
(57:37):
Right there, it's like I wantto be curious about who you are.
Who are you and what?
do I get to learn with you andfrom you?
And doesn't mean I have toagree but there's still
something beautiful and specialabout who you are.
You know everybody, everybody,and that's.
You know even the psychokillers.
(57:58):
Okay, because?
Because I think you know everysoul on this planet was born
with just pure love and joy.
Speaker 3 (58:09):
Yeah, yeah, there's a reason why it's conditioning.
Speaker 1 (58:13):
Yes, it's conditioning and the human
condition is real and the humanmind is fragile.
And I say that the human mindis fragile because it's easily
conditioned and it takessomething for the soul within to
do the work to uncondition orrecondition or rewire, as you
said Like, bring it back toleadership and rewiring.
(58:35):
Like it takes something for youto rewire your brain and then
live a life that you love.
Speaker 3 (58:43):
And trauma does so much damage.
Oh my God, but you can.
You know, you can rewire, yep,you can reparent, yes.
Speaker 1 (58:53):
Part of you.
Every day is a new day.
Every day, yeah, do over.
Let's do a do over okay, so soyou know we could go on forever.
But, vanessa, where canlisteners find you?
Where can they find you?
So I'm going to put all thelinks down below in the show
notes and I want to wrap up theshow.
But where can we find you?
Speaker 3 (59:13):
you can find me on LinkedIn.
That's where I share.
I share my heart.
There, I share my work I do, I,I feel like I don't mind
showing my true struggles and myvulnerability.
As a business owner, a woman, aLatina, a coach, I'm there to
(59:34):
add value and to bring onconnection, because that's one
of my core values is theconnection.
It's an ultimate key to mine.
So LinkedIn is the place you'llfind me regularly.
Speaker 1 (59:45):
Okay, so, vanessa Yu, and that's why you and I will
put I'll get your LinkedIn link,and then what is your website?
My website?
Speaker 3 (59:54):
is coachvanessaucom.
I just redid it with an amazingweb designer and you can find
free resources there.
I have a monthly time I'm goingto start called Turn Down the
Noise.
Ah, love, that I'm going to forfree.
You can come recenter.
I love that and find yourclarity for whatever's going on
(01:00:16):
in your life, it's for leaders,but, as you mentioned,
everyone's a leader.
Yes, number one, you're leadingyourself, yep.
Number two, you're leadingthose in your sphere, yep.
Whether it's your children,your call, whatever, like,
everyone's a leader.
So it's called Turn Down theNoise.
I also have some journalprompts that really evoke more
(01:00:39):
values and download that forfree, and then I'm starting a
leadership book club.
That's awesome.
That's awesome and that's whereyou can find me.
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
Yeah, and I have a newsletter that I send out
monthly every now and then it'stwice a month, but now it's
monthly, that's fantastic I Ijust want to say thank you for
joining us on Rooted in Risingtoday and, you know, thank you
for being my first guest on myfirst new podcast.
Yeah, like my new rebrandedpodcast.
(01:01:14):
So yeah, because I think thatrewiring leadership and really
living and stepping into yourtruth, it just it resonates.
So I want to say thank you forreaching out and I'm really
excited and so all of you whoare listening, as I mentioned, I
will put all of the links downbelow in the comments.
(01:01:34):
Um, as I mentioned, I will putall of the links down below in
the comments.
Uh, be sure to comment, youknow.
Or I should say, what's aquestion?
Is there a question you want toleave people with that maybe
they can comment on.
Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Yes, well, there's a couple questions.
Is what do you, what are yourvalues?
And you know there's so manyresources on on the internet
that you can go help yourself.
Um, and the second one is whodo you become when you live out
your values?
Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
So what are your values, y'all?
And who do you become when youlive out your values?
Like, what does that reallybring?
And I love that.
So comment below, tell us whatyour values are and maybe even
share with us.
If you don't know your values,maybe you discovered a value
while listening to us today andshare that and really feel into.
(01:02:29):
What would life look like foryou if you were really rooted in
that value?
Yeah, and it's not even rootedbecause it's there, it's just
owning it and understanding whatwould life look like for you if
you were really rooted in thatvalue.
Yeah, and it's not even rootedbecause it's there, it's just
owning it and understanding that.
That's your value, and owningthat value because they're there
.
Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
First you need knowledge of what those words
are yes, what those values?
Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
are.
Yes, it's like putting it's,giving them name, giving them
resonance in your body, and I, Ilove that.
You know, when you said mastery, I was like oh yeah, mastery,
which goes for my crazy, likeyou know, the perfection part of
me which is like it's got to beperfect it's gonna be perfect
and it's like, oh, that's justme trying to master that mastery
(01:03:07):
piece, because then I feel likeI have something more to give
back.
What were you gonna?
Speaker 3 (01:03:09):
say you know what, if people, I wouldn't mind.
If I received an email askingfor my assessment, I'd be happy
to share it with people.
Oh yes, needs and values youget both.
Yes, yes, they can.
Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
If anyone emails me, I will reply Okay, great, then I
will also put your email inthere as well.
And what is your email?
Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
It is Vanessa at coachvanessayoucom.
Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
Perfect.
I will add that to the links aswell.
So thank you so much for beingwith us today and thank you
everyone for listening to Rootedin Rising.
We're going to see you inanother couple of weeks and I
look forward to having you guysall back on the show.
Be sure to comment like sharethis episode with anybody who
you feel it might make adifference for, and thank you
for always being with us.
(01:03:51):
We love you have and thank youfor always being with us.
We love you have a great day.
Thank you for rooting in andrising with me today.
If something in this episodestirred something in you, take a
breath, take what you need andlet the rest soften.
Be sure to follow the show soyou don't miss what's next and,
if you feel called, share thisepisode or leave a review.
It helps the space grow andreach others on the path.
Until next time, may you walkwith trust, speak with love and
(01:04:16):
rise in your own time.
I'm so grateful you were herewith us and thanks for being
here.
We'll see you on the nextepisode.
Today, I sit down with the transformational
leadership coach, vanessa Yu.
If you're ready to shift yourperspective, lead with integrity
and open your life to deeperclarity and purpose, this
episode will inspire you to getrooted in your values and rise
from there.
Let's do it.
Welcome to Rooted in Rising.
I'm your host, tara Michelle,intuitive guide, storyteller and
(00:22):
fellow traveler on this wildpath of becoming.
This is a space for the soul,ed, for the ones unraveling old
stories, tending to theirhealing and rising, not
perfectly but powerfully, intowho they are here to be.
Here we explore what it meansto live with intention, to love
with depth and to trust thateven the hard things are shaping
(00:44):
us.
I'll share pieces of my ownjourney the cracks, the beauty,
the breakthroughs and invitevoices who are walking this path
too, because I believe lifeisn't happening to us, it's
happening for us.
So come as you are, root in andrise up, and thank you truly,
thank you for being here.
Welcome back to Rooted inRising, the podcast where we
(01:07):
help you ground deeply in yourtruth and rise powerfully from
it.
I'm Tara Michelle, the host ofthe show.
I'm excited to introduce myguest, vanessa Yu, a leadership
and executive coach who helpsleaders stop performing and
start leading from who theyreally are, with bold clarity,
grounded compassion and energythat fuels their vision.
Vanessa's training blends deepcoaching methodologies, somatic
(01:31):
work, generative trance,internal family systems and
embodied relational skills.
Her own business core values,which is vitality, connection,
growth, compassion and integrity, run through everything she
does, and they're exactly thecompass we'll be exploring today
.
So here we go.
So okay, so I'm excited becauseI love your topics of leadership
(01:55):
, rewired and rooted leadership,and so I want to just dive
right into this, if we can, andfirst I want to say thank you
for being on the show.
I'm really excited to have youbecause it's gonna be a lot of
fun.
I have some questions, becauseI looked over your website and I
love what you do, and when wetalk about core values, you know
(02:17):
really rooted leadership,rewiring leadership.
I want to ask, because wetalked a little bit about this
the other day, what really arecore values beyond the buzzwords
, and how does that show upinside of leadership?
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Ah, great question.
What are core values?
When I work with my clients,the way I describe it, they are
what bring you meaning andpurpose.
A lot of people confuse theirvalues with needs or wants,
(03:03):
desires, but really, when youunpack values, they're what
light you up, they turn you onlike a light bulb on.
They feel so meaningful theybring you to purpose, so
(03:31):
meaningful they bring you topurpose, and they don't just
appear one day You've had themsince you were little.
If I'm correct, from a class Itook, you can start seeing
values at the age of five.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh, I believe it.
I believe it because there's.
You know, a lot of the workI've done over the years is, um,
you know, I did some reallycool courses with landmark
education, but one of the thingswe talked about was strategies,
and by the time you're fiveyears old, you have every
strategy in place of how you'reactually going to live your life
, like you've already decidedhow you're going to navigate the
(04:04):
survival.
Is that fascinating?
By five years old, it's done,and that's why when you're
driving down the road andthere's like some Yahoo on the
road and then you behave in sucha way and you're like, oh, how
old was that?
I was like four, just now, youknow.
And so there was this otherjoke when we were in that course
.
If you think about how most ofus have created these strategies
(04:25):
that really, up to five yearsold, you have them all in place
and you can see that in thepolitical system, you can see
that in leadership withincorporation, on how people
behave, sometimes like whenthey're triggered, and they
behave from a five-year-oldspace, their default.
Yes, because that defaultstrategy is at play.
(04:46):
And so, yeah, that's you know.
And I want to ask you know, whydo you think so many people
actually struggle to understandor figure out their values?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Honestly, I don't think people are trying hard
enough to figure out theirvalues, their compass.
We are in a society where we'reconsumers, we're consuming what
everyone else is doing.
We're consuming so much ofsocial media as we're in the
comparison game.
I don't think enough peoplestop and slow down to really
(05:22):
consider.
Stop and slow down to reallyconsider.
Then the small percentage ofthose who slow down and consider
may not have the language toarticulate what's really going
on inside them Right, toarticulate how come, when.
Sometimes I do this, I'm fullof energy, I'm in flow, I light
(05:44):
up, I do this, I'm full ofenergy, I'm in flow, I light up.
It's I mean I mentioned this toyou earlier when I spoke to you
Zero percent of my clients knowtheir values.
Right, I've coached over ahundred people, yes, and I ask
every one of them do you happento know your values?
And there's always, tara, along pause.
(06:06):
Maybe I get family or faith.
I don't get anything deeper, Idon't get specific language.
They just don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Well, share with us what is specific language Like.
If I were to ask you, vanessa,what are your core values, what
would you say?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
since I was a little tiny girl.
When I would play by myself, Iwould bring out this chalkboard
my parents bought me and I wouldteach my pretend class.
It was instilled in me at ayoung young age Teaching.
I love teaching.
It lights me up.
Mastery.
That one was a game changer forme that I really value mastery.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
What does mastery look like to you?
Because I love that, I lovelike the word mastery.
I don't think people would evenconsider that mastery being a
core value.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Yeah, yeah, it's for me.
I find so much joy and so muchenergy becoming really good at
something, whether it's a skill,whether it's a concept.
So for me, as a coach, now Iunderstand why I'm so drawn to
(07:37):
being an ICF certified coach.
Sure.
There's a pathway to masteryRight For people who don't value
mastery.
That's not going to light themup, it's actually going to
inhibit them.
It might make them feel trapped, but for me, that lights me up
Lights you up, yeah, I want tokeep learning and honing in on
(07:59):
skills, to master the skill.
So for me that was a big one,and another one that the
language around this, when I wasable to pinpoint it was a game
changer, was catalyst.
I want to be a change agent,that's.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
It's so funny you say change agent yeah.
That's what it means for me.
Yeah, I used to put that in myresume, like I'm a change agent.
I'm a change agent.
That's probably one of yourvalues.
It is Like I am all about and Ihave to admit it's probably one
of the values that gets in theway of the roles I've taken on,
because in a lot of the settingsthat I'm, you know the managers
(08:40):
I typically am under they wantyou to just follow their
directive.
Yeah, managers I typically amunder.
They want you to just followtheir directive.
And I'm a change agent and soI'm a little bit disruptive.
I always joke and say I'm likethe Joan of Arc.
I'm the Joan of Arc ofcorporation, and when people
aren't being served and whenthere's a lack of integrity, and
(09:00):
if it's like a lack ofintegrity on the team, I'm like
the change agent.
It gets me in trouble all thetime because, I just I stand for
greater level of service toothers and integrity to your
team.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Yes, I hear that, and if you had a really good
manager, he or she would haveleveraged that Right.
Haven't found that yet, vanessa, and that's, that's why I love
coaching leaders, because whenthey do this work of discovering
their own values and thenexperimenting with them, playing
with them, they see whathappens to them and the impact
(09:38):
it has on their leadership.
It has on their team and thenthey do the same thing with
their team.
They're like on their team, andthen they do the same thing
with their team.
They're like they start saying,oh Bob, here is he, lights up
with teaching.
Yes, let's see what I can do togrow.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That yes, yes.
And I think often, so often,what's missing and why I love
what you're up to in thecorporate space is so much of
what's missing is leadersunderstanding and realizing that
your success is totally drivenby your team.
Like it isn't about you shiningand then your team to shine.
(10:16):
Your whole job is to get thatteam to shine and then you shine
.
And I don't know if that's likean old paradigm where it's like
well, I'm the leader, sotherefore you shine.
And I don't know if that's likean old paradigm where it's like
, well, I'm the leader, sotherefore I shine.
No, like, get your team awinning team and then you're
like, you know, you shine.
(10:37):
And I think there's a lot ofleaders like I see this.
From my perspective, I see alot of leaders that they know
that as a context or they knowit as a idea, but they don't
necessarily know how to apply itand to really integrate it yes.
(10:57):
And I think this is a good seguewhen we are looking at values
like how do we distinguishvalues between what we've
inherited but what'sauthentically ours?
Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Yes, because I have seen clients who they'll take
the assessment I give and Ialways ask does any of this
surprise you?
And one time I had someone saythat creativity popped up and he
was shocked I can't believethis is here and he's he's a CFO
(11:35):
, so he doesn't really ever usecreativity.
Right before we unpacked it werealized, he realized, oh
goodness, I was a very creativechild, but his father would
squash it, wouldn't allow it,right, for whatever reason,
right.
So anytime he would bring thecreativity to play to, however
(11:59):
it was showing up in childhood,his father would always squash
it showing up in childhood, hisfather would always squash it,
so that value was hidden.
It was hidden.
It was like put away in thecloset.
But when he took the assessment, it showed up Right.
That's one case where it wasthere but someone didn't agree
with it.
Right, right, someone didn'tallow it.
(12:21):
It's not okay for a boy to becreative Right Situation.
So what was really fun was webrought it to the surface and we
start.
He started playing with it as aCFO.
I love that and it was amazing.
He started changing up themeanings, a little more
(12:42):
creativity.
Yes.
His processing system startedchanging.
Then I've seen other clientswhere, as we do the work with
the value, the specific value,they realize that was mom and
dad's value and it wasn't trulytheirs.
And I have to say that was myexperience.
(13:04):
And it wasn't truly theirs andI have to say that was my
experience.
I've been discovering I reallyvalue adventure and I was
shocked it wasn't showing up inmy personal assessment.
I take it every year becauseI'm curious, because values
aren't supposed to change, right?
Yes, yes, and mine haven'tchanged.
They've shifted, but I'mnoticing that adventure is
(13:26):
climbing a little higher and Irealized because my parents
didn't grow that part of me Iremember I wanted to study
abroad in college.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah, oh gosh, yeah, my son really wants that.
I'm like, okay, let's figure itout.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, yeah, to feel that adventure.
Yes, my dad was scared for meand so that adventure part of me
was very limited.
And now, as a middle-aged woman, I am like I actually really
love adventure and my husband,who's at Mr Adventure, it's one
of his core values.
(14:03):
He's bringing it out in me andit's been amazing for me.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
So you know there's no formula, but the more you
unpack values and you work withthem and you play with them, the
more you know it resonates withyou.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Well, I think it goes back to how many of us have
grown up to be something inwhatever career, like I'm a
doctor or I'm a lawyer or I'm awhatever and you wake up and
realize I'm only this becausethat's what my parents wanted me
to be and it's not really whattruly sings to me, and I think
that that's fascinating becausein the same I think we can even,
(14:42):
you know there's layers of thatin relationships where I've
seen a lot of people in this dayand age where they realize,
well, I got married, I had kids,I did all the things because I
thought that's what I wassupposed to do, and you know.
And then they wake up one dayand they're like, wait a minute,
Like who am I really?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
What is it that I really?
Want.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I just find that fascinating, because I think so
often we don't really know thetruth of who we are or the truth
of what we really desire,because it has been so covered
up by all the things we think weshould do or the things we
think we should be, and thenlife starts happening at a
million miles an hour and you'rejust doing, doing, doing, doing
(15:24):
, doing, rather than justactually being in your body to
really listen.
Like what is it that reallyspeaks to me?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
So yeah, I didn't know how to do that, tara, when
you're saying being your bodylike, I remember being 41, just
had my surprise baby and quit myjob that I enjoyed and I was
nervous to be a stay-at-home momagain because all these
(15:51):
feelings of resentment startedbubbling up and I remember
thinking I can't do that again,even though duty in me says to
do that, even though I know theresearch of a stay-at-home mom
you know, the positive impact.
(16:11):
And I enjoyed my years as astay-at-home mom, but underneath
there was a lot of resentmentLike what's happening to me.
I don't want to lose me again.
I remember crying to my husbandlike I can't have my wings
snipped again.
Oh my gosh husband, like Ican't have my wings snipped
again, oh my gosh.
And so I hired a life coachbecause I did not know what to
do with myself and I was hopingshe was going to tell me what to
(16:33):
do.
Right, but I started todiscover me and what.
I love and we?
she would say, like let'spretend there's no fear, Right?
What would you do?
Like I would own a business butI don't know what.
So then it led me down the pathof coaching, and in my coaching
(16:55):
program they have a mandatoryclass all coaches have to take,
called personal foundation.
Yep.
Tara, that was a game changer.
It was all on needs and values,and once I saw that my needs
for that season of life, and ifthey're not being met, then I
can't lean into values.
(17:16):
Nope, because when you are nothaving your needs met, you're in
survival mode.
Yep.
All the time.
But most people in America arein survival mode, in survival
mode, 100% they don't have theluxury to sit down and think
about their values right, tryingto get these needs met.
And so I had to learn how do Imeet my own needs Right, instead
(17:38):
of fostering codependency Rightby wanting my husband to meet
my needs, my kids to meet myneeds, my job to meet my needs?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It is all within you.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
And I learned that I have to meet my own needs, I
have to advocate.
I was giving my power away.
So once I did that work, then Iwas able to really lean into my
values and that's when thelight just went on inside me.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
You know, and I love this because this is a perfect
segue.
I wanted to talk about livingout of alignment and what
happens in someone's life whenthey're not aligned with their
values, like what happens whenyou're not aligned.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Resentment, anger, victim, victim.
Oh, I was a victim and I was amartyr.
And then I was really upsetwhen no one else was the martyr.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Right.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Because I was always the martyr.
Yeah, and you're unhappy.
I remember my husband wouldtell me you're so unhappy I
don't know what it is, vanessaYou're so unhappy.
I had a home, I had children,you had all the things and I was
so unhappy.
Even my faith I had, but I wasinwardly so dry.
(18:57):
Nothing was bringing a wholelot of meaning to me at that
season of life, mm-hmm.
So when you're out of alignment, there's the red flags like
resentment, victim projection,projecting your feelings on
(19:18):
others.
You're not a risk taker.
No, you're not connecting well.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
No, no.
And when we talk about being arooted leader, or rooted leader
or leadership rewire, what isthe impact on others when a
leader let's just say in careeris out of alignment with their
core values?
What's the impact on their team?
What have you seen?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I see a team that, instead of thrives, they shrink.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
And you know what?
I'm just gonna throw this outhere because I know there's a
lot of moms that listen to thisshow and I really want you to
listen, like those that arelistening to this show.
Although we're talking aboutleadership, I want you to
consider that you are a leaderin your life yeah.
Or you wouldn't be listening tothe show.
But you may not have acorporate job, or you may have a
(20:11):
very avant-garde job orwhatever.
But even consider as a parentyou're the leader, so the team
is your family.
That's right, that's right.
Or as a student, you're theleader and the team is your
class.
Or in a project, you're theleader and the people on the
(20:31):
project are you know?
I really want everybody tolisten for themselves.
When we're talking leadership,it really is not just like, oh,
you have some, the core withinyou that you yourself, you were
rooted into this realm calledleader within you and how do you
show up?
So I just want to remind peoplebecause I love this question
(20:55):
when we're living out ofalignment for real, how that
impacts your life on all levels.
And you know what?
I don't know if this is a corevalue.
I feel like it is, butrelationship is like a core
value for me.
When I'm not in relationship, Iam in total survival mode.
(21:18):
When I'm in a really healthy,connected relationship I can do
anything.
And I once had a coach yearsago that I did.
I can't remember what kind oftest it was, one of those tests
that tells you who you are.
And she said, when you're notin relationship, things don't
work for you.
And I was like, oh, come on.
But over the years I was like,damn it, she's right.
(21:40):
When I'm in a relationship,when I have that piece managed,
I can go do anything else.
If I don't have that piecemanaged, things feel very
disjointed, difficult, and Idon't want to say I'm in victim
mode, but there I'm definitelyin what's, I am in survival mode
(22:01):
like full blown survival mode,like I can't, I, I it's the
weirdest thing.
And I say that because I'm I'mactually in a very healthy,
nurturing, very lovingrelationship right now and I'm
looking at the difference.
I'm like whoa, you know, andthen, having lost my job this
week, like I'm like, so whatit's like there's, it's's, it's
(22:24):
amazing to see the difference.
And you, what would?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
you say, is the impact on those around you when
you're misaligned, when you'renot in a deeper connection with
someone, that relational piece?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Oh yeah, I can speak for my son, like I'm more
stressed.
I mean we have a prettypeaceful house, but I'm more
stressed I'm I'm less connectedto him.
Because I'm less connected tohim, because I'm always in this
space of survival of what do Ineed to do to make the money, to
pay the bills, to do the house,to do the dogs.
(22:57):
It's constant.
I'm never centered and at peacein my body, so scarcity takes
over.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
That's the impact Scarcity.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Total scarcity.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Now being in this loving, healthy relationship.
You're in this value of beingconnected so amazing.
Who do you become when you'reliving out this?
Speaker 1 (23:19):
value.
I'm like the queen of my realm.
I'm at peace.
It's funny.
I went over to his house theother day after I got laid off.
He's like you're radiating andI'm like it's because I'm with
you.
But then I was like I think I'mradiating because I just for
one, I'm out of a job that Iwasn't happy with, right, like I
(23:40):
was not aligned with that role.
It wasn't that I wasn't alignedwith the role, I wasn't aligned.
I'm just not aligned with that,with that industry right now.
I just I'm I'm kind of donewith that industry.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I don't want to say it that way, but that's how it
feels.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
And my true alignment is what we're doing here right
now.
My true alignment is to speak,is to coach, is to teach, is to
heal, is to restore, repair, tobe of service, like that is my
true passion and calling, yeah,I feel it, yes, like that's my
thing and that like anybody canhire me.
You want me to go love on yourclients and be of service and
(24:12):
like, do all the magic there.
I'm so happy.
But if you want me to do thisother stuff, it just doesn't.
It just doesn't resonate.
But wait, what was yourquestion?
I forgot.
Oh, so who?
Speaker 3 (24:21):
do you become?
Who do you become?
Who do you?
Speaker 1 (24:27):
become.
I become grace.
I just become grace, ease, flow, peace, love, like that's what
it feels like Beautiful, yeah,and it feels like the queen of
my realm, like the king and thequeen, and it's like we have the
realm and it just feels we havethe realm and it just feels it
(24:48):
feels peaceful.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Yeah, and how well do you honor that daily?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Right now I'm honoring it a lot, okay, like
I'm so aware and grateful for itbecause there have been times
when I would have glimpses orfeelings of this and I wouldn't
allow myself to stay in thatspace.
I think also the difference too, is I'm with somebody that
(25:18):
where it's a healthy situationit's not toxic.
So even if I'm in arelationship that's toxic,
there's still that survival lack, there's still that scarcity in
the background, because thenI'm worried like when's the
relationship going to end?
Is it going to end.
Is it going to end?
Is it going to end?
Like that's what's in thebackground where I'm not going
to say that I don't have thosethoughts sometimes because we're
(25:40):
still kind of new in thissituation, but I really don't
have those thoughts Like I justdon't.
I have more of creationthoughts.
I'm in the space of creation,like I can create, and there's
that overflow, feeling likeabundance, and it's coming, it's
.
It's like an energizingabundance.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I don't know how to explain it, but that's how it
feels If you look at other areasof your life.
Are you?
How well are you honoring thisvalue of connection?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
How am I honoring this value of connection?
I guess what comes up for me islike well, what does that
really mean, vanessa?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
And this is an example of what coaching is like
.
Yes, we're unpacking our valuesLike where are you?
Maybe not honoring it?
Or maybe I would start goinginto the other perspective of
how's your relationship withyourself?
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Relationship with self, I think is very good.
Self Relationship with self, Ithink is very good.
I think relationship with selfis what has actually got me in
this relationship, because I'mat a place where I truly am
attracting yeah, like I'm trulyattracting who I believe myself
to be, you know, like thisperson's really my equal
spiritually emotionally,mentally, physically, like all
(27:04):
of those things.
He's my equal.
So, yeah, you know, but I thinkthat there's times when I don't
honor it with myself.
Physically, you know, whetherit's not sleeping enough, you
(27:28):
know, or not resting enough,because I'm a doer, doer, doer,
because I'm a single mom.
So it's just like there's never.
There's never resting time.
It's all the time, 24, seven,and I have been forcing myself.
It's great that you asked this,because I've been forcing
myself the last um, just thelast couple of weeks of like, no
(27:49):
, when it's seven o'clock,you're done, you're not going to
go work on another project,you're not going to go, you're
going to hang out with your sonon the couch and watch a movie.
You're not going to go.
Well, let me go work on thepodcast.
Like, I will literally worktill midnight.
I'll keep finding stuff to doinstead of allowing myself to be
, and that's where I don'tthat's where I don't honor
(28:10):
myself.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
So then here I would say I challenge you to connect
deeper to yourself.
See what your body needs right,we're talking about your body
needs, right, we're talkingabout your body rests.
Right.
Start experimenting, making alittle more space for this value
to take up a little more spaceright and see what the impact is
(28:35):
.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Right, because we don't even know.
We're so afraid that if we likewell, what would happen if I
wasn't working on this thing orif I didn't go do that thing?
Like, we get afraid that we'regoing to miss out on something.
But I often try to remindpeople you may need to take a
step away for a week fromsomething, just so the energy
(28:56):
can actually fuel it, becauseyou're in the way with all the
doing, the doing, the doing, thedoing, the doing.
Correct, correct.
Yeah.
It's like get out of the way.
This is the hard work right.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
It is Correct.
Correct, yeah, it's like getout of the way.
This is the hard work.
It is Integration.
Yes, I love that IntegrationAbsolutely.
You can take the assessment andknow your top core values, but
then what are you going to dowith it?
And so there needs to be somespace to unpack the values.
How well are you honoring it?
Why are you not honoring it?
What's getting in the way?
(29:27):
Who do you become?
What energy comes forth Like?
What would the impact be?
And then light bulbs startgoing off, and then you start
experimenting.
I'll even tell leaders.
Write an email from this value.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
That's cool.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
And they're like what yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:46):
like how do I do that ?
Speaker 3 (29:49):
You'll figure it out.
You know, show up to a meetingin a certain value or with the
prospect, let that teacher inyou shine and you just start
playing and experimenting towhere it starts becoming really
comfortable.
Yeah.
Because that's where therewiring and that's where the
(30:11):
rewiring happens Because younormally showed up with fear and
maybe scarcity, and so youdefault to this, or your people
pleasing, or your schmoozinessRight.
What if you showed up in all ofyou Right?
Right, what if you showed up inall of you, right with that
value, taking up so much spaceand speaking to a prospect, or
(30:33):
your, your report, or your boss,or your children, right, right
if we're talking to moms here?
Yes, you showed up parentingyour teen from one of your core
values, versus your fear andstress and anxiety and all the
things you think is going tohappen.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yes, Instead of just like they're not going to live
out your life.
I promise you they're not.
You're like I did that and Idon't want you to do that.
So I'm going to make sure thatI'm like watching every move
because I don't want you to dothat, and it's like oh gosh but
that's what we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
My daughter she's 16.
She'll call me out on it andshe says mom, everything you're
saying is from fear she feels it.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
That's so aware.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
So guess what?
Your team feels it, yourprospects feel it, yes, your
boss feels it, yes, yes, thenthat shift needs to happen, and
that's where I work with theclients.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Like how do, how, how , how are we going to help you
shift?
I love that, yeah, Cause youimagine those listening just,
and some of you, many of you,being moms.
But just imagine what it wouldbe like to start parenting and
living your life, even in yourrelationship with you know, your
partner or husband or wife orwhatever, from a core value
instead of from, like the whatwould I, what would I call it,
(31:54):
instead of from your puremachinery of surviving, because
that's really what you're doinghalf the time.
You're just surviving.
You're surviving the moment,surviving the day, because
you're not rooted inside of thisbeautiful space called your
core value, which is your truthat the end of the day, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
It's who you really are.
Yes, and a great way to connectto that is finding its center
in your body.
You mentioned paying attentionto our body and oftentimes when
I have a client like you, youwere really feeling that
relational value, thatconnection.
Where do you feel the center ofthat in your body when you're
(32:36):
in that sphere?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Are you asking me?
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Yeah, where do you feel it?
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I want to say it's heart, but it's also deep in the
sacral.
But there's something about itrooting and like the root chakra
, like I just feel it all in mycore, it almost feels like an
alignment, like all the piecescome together.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Yeah, like it all clicks, so your core in between
your heart and your gut right inthere.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yep, it all just comes together In your heart and
your gut right in there.
Yep, okay, it all just comestogether.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
That's your body telling you right when you're in
alignment and tell me where youare when you're in the stress
and the cortisol and thescarcity.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Oh Lord, when do you?
Speaker 3 (33:15):
feel that.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Where do I feel that?
In my shoulders, in my heart,in my head, yeah, and then I
have low back pain.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Low back pain and hip pain because I don't feel
supported and my root chakra istotally out of alignment because
it's in pure survival mode andit's just surviving, yeah.
And then there's a disconnectfrom the heart stem to the brain
stem.
There's like a disconnect inthere and yeah, and I can see it
(33:53):
like my whole upper shoulderarea, I can see it just like
inflamed red, glowing stress.
You're so visual, Tara.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yes, I am.
So your body, our body, alwayssignals to us right, If we are
in fight, flight, bond freeze,or when we're in our core.
Yes, Our compass.
I call our values the compass,the North.
Star, your North Star, and sowhen you start feeling the lower
back pain and the tens and youfeel like you're up here for me,
(34:23):
like even my head gets hot from, the overthinking.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Oh, like how many people gets hot from the
overthinking.
Like how many people are outthere having headaches and
migraines, like that should be ahuge indicator right there that
you are out of alignment.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Yes, so to shift to the other center of where that
value lies and operate fromthere?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yes, and I wanted to ask you, as we talk about
leadership rewire, whatpractices do you offer or
provide people that help groundthem under pressure and bring
them back to that alignment?
Speaker 3 (34:59):
I do a lot of visualizations with my clients,
like right now, visualizationsum with my clients like right
now just a little bit of wheredo you feel the center?
I do visualizations on relaxingthe nervous system with just a
muscle relaxation from head totoe.
I asked them to remember a timewhere they were connected to
(35:21):
meaning and purpose.
Maybe it was yesterday, maybeit was when you were 16 and you
were on vacation.
Like I just help them gatherthe memory of meaning and
purpose.
And it's so interesting Oncepeople go there and remember
meaning purpose and we go, Iengage all the senses, meaning
(35:47):
purpose and we go, I engage allthe senses.
What does it look like, whatdoes it feel like?
What does it smell like what areyou touching?
What's happening is it'screating a new map, yes, or
recalling an old map that feelsreally good and feels in
alignment with you.
That way, when you're in astressful, you have to go give a
presentation, say I tell themrecall it, recall that memory of
(36:11):
on the lake looking out at theglistening water and you're
smelling the pine trees.
You know making this up as Isay this, but they could easily
recall that memory.
Your body remembers what itfeels like.
So that's, that's one way Ihelp people get grounded and
rooted, and we play a lot withvisualizations.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
What's one thing you could tell people to do right
now that are listening, thatthey can do to get themselves
reconnected or recentered,because they're probably driving
.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
Yeah, in traffic.
I'm so glad you asked this,because this is what we need
more of in corporate America.
This is what we need more of inmotherhood.
Yep, there's this exercise Ilearned in a training I did,
called the Betty Erickson.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
The Betty Erickson.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Induction.
I love that.
And you can go Google it andbasically all it is is using
your senses.
You just ask yourself what areyou I am?
You say I am aware of threethings you see.
So you say I am aware of thispainting in front of me, I am
aware of the window, I am awareof seeing terror on the screen.
(37:28):
And then you go to hearing I'maware of a car driving right by,
I'm aware of my laptop humming.
You start engaging the senses.
And the third one is I'm awarethat I feel.
I'm aware that I feel and youcould do literal feeling or
(37:49):
emotional, and you do it acouple times.
And I teach my clients how to dothis for those who have a hard
time slowing down, because thisone's simple, it's just turning
off the problem-solving mind andbeing really present.
Because to be rooted, you haveto be present.
Yes, to get back to your core,your compass, you have to be
present.
And so what better way thanwhat do I see, what do I hear,
(38:14):
what do I smell?
You can even bring in the smell.
What do I feel?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Because it brings you back to all those senses,
really rooting you in yourphysical self, in your physical
realm that's all around you, andthen pulling.
You're pulling that brain, thatheart.
What is it called?
Speaker 3 (38:30):
That heart-mind connection yes.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah, the coherence Bringing the coherence together
and you know, because that'swhat it is all about in terms of
bringing that presence in,which is amazing.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
And you know, I got to practice this with my
six-year-old.
You know, we go on a littlewalk every now and then and I'll
say let's play our game,because I want him to learn this
tool at a young age and.
I'll say what do you hear rightnow?
And he'll hear things that I'mnot hearing Yep.
And then it makes me morepresent hearing Yep.
(39:10):
And then it makes me morepresent Right.
I'm like, wow, buddy, I didn'thear that bird, and it just
completely changes the qualityof our walk.
Yeah.
Because we're both reallypresent.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Yes, so that's the.
That's probably the easiest onefor people to engage with,
that's probably the easiest onefor people to engage with.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
How do you think really understanding your core
values can help with toughdecisions and tough life
decisions.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
Oh woo, yes.
Last question I'm like gonna doa dance party tomorrow.
I'm like going to do a danceparty tomorrow.
The worst place I'm going togive the contrast, the worst
place to make decisions is fromstress, fear, anxiety, because
that cortisol is pumping andyou're going to do anything to
(40:01):
keep yourself safe.
Yeah, that's what our brain istrained to do.
Yeah, warn us when we're notsafe.
So when you make decisions fromthere, you're making them from
fear, which means they're not inalignment with you at all.
Not at all.
You're just surviving.
So I teach my clients how tocalm themselves down, I guide
(40:26):
them and then we tap into ohyeah, I'm safe, my body's safe,
I'm calm.
Let's remember what's importantto me.
Oh yeah, for me, mastery is soimportant.
Whatever value starts bubblingup, whatever's needed, your
unconscious, or whatever valuestarts bubbling up Right,
whatever's needed.
Your unconscious mind knowswhat to bring up.
(40:50):
Yes, it's important to you.
Yes.
And then we say, okay, now let'sbring in the challenge, the
decision that needs to be madeFrom the center what's feeling
important right now?
So usually the question I askwhat feels so important right
now?
And I'll give you an example.
(41:11):
Yes, I had a client, a COO,show up.
He was in a tizzy Tara, he wasa mess, he was stressed, he was
speaking 100 miles per hour.
I know all the signs of fullblown fight or flight.
And he's like I need to decideif I'm going to fire this person
(41:31):
or not.
That's what I want coaching ontoday.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
I needed you to talk to my old manager last week.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
You know, before I had all this training, I would
have said, okay, let's do thepros and cons Right.
Let's do the logic Right.
No, no, no, no, let's calm thisguy down.
And so I did a whole relaxation.
I had already been working withhim for a long time so I knew
his values and he calmed downand I can see through the screen
(42:05):
he's calming down.
I'm reminding him of what'simportant to him, comes back,
you know, he opens his eyes.
I'm like so any insight?
And he said I realize all mystress wasn't about firing this
guy, it's a no brainer, I needto fire him.
It's a no-brainer, I need tofire him.
But it was really interesting.
(42:25):
The stress that I wasexperiencing had nothing to do
with work.
It was my children.
I said really, tell me more.
And he said I've beenneglecting them because he's an
executive, he works long, hardhours and this man is a family
man.
So I was a little surprised.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Right.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
And I was like well, what are you going to do about
it?
He's like I'm going to go to mykid's event tonight.
I wasn't going to go.
That was the source of mystress.
Yes, the guilt.
He said.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
I was just going to say, yeah, the guilt in the
background.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
It was the guilt and shame that he was heaping any
other way, like I couldn't haveknown that.
But when he calmed down, herecentered, he got rooted, he
remembered what's reallyimportant to him.
There was clarity.
So my answer to your questionis you become very decisive
(43:27):
because you're so discerning onwhat's really happening.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Yeah Well, and then you're you're really choosing
from power.
You know what do you mean?
Well, I always say so.
I, I believe this life is amastery of choice.
Okay, but, often like you'rejust, you're just choosing.
Do I need to go to the bathroom?
Do I not need to go to thebathroom?
Should I spend the money?
(43:51):
Should I not spend the moneyLike?
Speaker 3 (43:53):
every second of your day is a choice.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
It's an absolute choice and it's mastery and
choice.
But a lot of times people willmake choices not from powerfully
choosing.
They're choosing from scarcity,lack, fear, total cortisol, no
thought behind it.
It's just like a knee jerkchoice and the next thing you
know you haven't mastered thatchoice, because now that knee
(44:18):
jerk choice just rode you downan even bumpier road.
Yeah, there's consequences,more consequences and more
things to navigate, and so it'scoming back to rooting into
these core values of self truth,discernment, resonance, and
then you're powerfully choosing.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
You're being intentional, yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
Wow, that is powerful .
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah, it's.
You know, one of the exerciseswhen I was at Landmark it was
chocolate vanilla choose and forthe longest time people had a
hard time.
You know they would choose orthey wouldn't choose, and it was
like chocolate vanilla chooseand because we get caught up in
our heads about but if I choosethis, what's going to happen?
And if I choose that, like youjust have to powerfully choose
(45:06):
and then once you choose, yougot to know that you chose it
and there's no going back.
You know you chose that, youpowerfully chose and if you
regret it, you didn't powerfullychoose because you were
operating from this place ofscarcity or fight or flight.
And so, yeah, I mean, I thinkthis is all so amazing because
(45:33):
when we talk about values,resonance, presence, flow, being
at peace, sounds, so good Right, so good and, honestly, I think
that's how we're really allsupposed to be operating every
day.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
The ease and flow.
It's the fruit of living byyour compass.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Right.
And when I see that from amacro perspective, it's not that
it hurts my heart.
Here comes the intuition comingin.
It's when I, after having thisconversation and I see it from
this macro perspective all thesebeautiful human beings on this
planet, more so in this country.
(46:18):
It's been designed to neverallow us to stay rooted in our
compass.
It's been designed toconstantly keep you out of out
of alignment, out of beingrooted, so that you are
constantly in fear, you areconstantly in survival and that
disconnects you from your Godsource energy, which is that
(46:39):
powerful connection where youget to powerfully choose, you
get to powerfully stand, you getto powerfully root and I hope
everybody hears this from apoint of view or from a context
of you know, you, you want to Ihate saying it this way you want
to survive the times, then youhave to get present and root
(47:01):
into yourself fully and you haveto.
You know and I just heard theword sovereign and I know people
don't always like that word,but it really is becoming the
sovereign self.
And you pointed out earlier,vanessa, there's nothing out
here in front of you that isgoing to bring you the peace and
the joy.
That's also a design that islike look the carrots out here,
(47:25):
the carrots out here, keepchasing the carrot.
This carrot's going to make youhappy.
It's over here, here, it ishere.
It is over here.
No, you'll never be happy untilyou start looking in the mirror
, because all of your happinessresides within, and that
happiness is a choice, apowerful choice, and a choice in
which you have to, I believe,really dig deep and look at all
(47:50):
those parts within you that arelike well, what has me feeling,
however?
I'm feeling that doesn't feelgood.
Yeah, you know where is itrooted from and do I need to
hold on to that?
And you know how am Iprojecting it out to my friends,
my family, myself.
How am I?
Am I overeating?
Am I not exercising?
What are the things that I'mdoing to stuff that void or the
(48:13):
noise down?
Yeah, and then I'm just goingto keep operating and chase the
carrot, chase the carrot, chasethe carrot.
No, don't chase the carrot,Like, bring it all back in.
I think I'm a little bit on atangent, but I just see that,
you know, I see that overallpicture and sometimes lately and
I probably am going to stopsharing this because I have to
stop sharing it because theuniverse will powerfully
(48:34):
manifest but lately I have beensensing the desire to sell
everything and leave the US, andnot to run away from the US,
but more to find some littletiny country where life is just
a thousand times slower and Ican enjoy the fruits of life
(48:56):
because, in this countrycurrently.
It's like a meat grinder.
It's just like like we're justgoing to grind them out, you
know, and everybody's chasingthe carrot to pay the bill, to
get the next thing, to pay thatbill, to get the next thing, and
then pay yet another bill andeveryone's forgetting to live.
Now, I shouldn't say everyone,because there's a lot of us like
(49:20):
you myself, and there arepeople listening to this podcast
that are our whole missioninside this meat grinder is like
we're trying to find how do welive at peace and love and
harmony inside of that fast pace.
It's calling you to go spendmore money to make more money,
to spend more money to make moremoney.
No, how about you just be withyour family, be with your kids,
(49:42):
be with your friends?
So yeah, it's a little bit ofmy little.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
Well, tara, when you were speaking, so much was
coming up in me and then youstarted hitting them.
But I want to.
The first thing is we're in asociety that's just distracted.
There's so many distractions.
There is something for everyoneyou know, social media, number
(50:07):
one huge distractor.
See it with my teeth.
It's a constant battle overhere of limits and boundaries,
and then we're distracted withcomparison, the American dream,
right, success, right, there'sso much noise, noise, right,
noise, noise, noise, noise,noise, noise, noise.
(50:28):
What you should be buying, whatyou should be doing, what
success means?
It's just, it's in, it's just,it's embedded in our culture.
Yes, and people don't want todeal with their hard feelings,
they don't want to sit in it.
I didn't Be positive, let'sjust be positive, let's keep
(50:51):
going, then carrot, then there'sthe next carrot.
It's like this game we'replaying.
So there's that piece.
We're just distracted.
So we have to learn to comeback and focus what's going on
inside of us.
The second thing that came upwhen you were speaking was
everyone has the basic need tobe seen and heard and loved or
(51:15):
belong, all of them, percent.
Yeah, that's what people reallywant.
So they're doing all the things, trying to chase the carrot
because someone's gonna lovethem, they think that someone's
gonna, or they were taught thatright, yes, you get an a, you
get a reward.
Yep, you achieve this.
I'll give you this.
(51:36):
Yes, right, mom and dad onlypay attention to me when I
achieve.
Yes, right, we're taught this,so you first have to be seen and
heard by your own self.
That's a whole episode.
I know, I know it really is.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
I'm like I just want to fix that one too.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
You want to be seen, you wantto be heard.
And heard, but you have to dothat first with yourself.
Speaker 3 (52:00):
Yes, because then you can't see and hear others.
No, then the third thing thatcame up in me when you were
talking was the more you live inyour values and you understand
that everyone has their own mapof values, their own compass.
The judgment just melts away.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (52:22):
There's not judging, because everyone has a reason
why they're doing what they'redoing.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
I love that you said that I may not agree, because
it's not my value system Exactly.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
But you know what I have?
Compassion, yes, and it makesme get curious.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Like, oh, tell me more, how come you're being such
a jerk right now?
Right, why is that important toyou?
Yeah, and then you know with myclients.
I'm like, oh, that makes totalsense.
Yeah.
And then you know with myclients.
I'm like, oh, that makes totalsense.
Speaker 1 (52:56):
Yeah, and so it makes us kinder and softer, Softer
and curious and compassionateyes, when you're living in
alignment with your values and Itell people often I've been
kind of beating this one todeath because I I find it very
(53:21):
fitting in this world right now.
We, as souls, all came here tohave our own experience and you
can choose any experience here.
Like you could be the bestplumber, you could be the best
president, you could be theworst president, worst plumber,
you could be the best psychokiller, you could be the worst
president, worst plumber, youcould be the best psycho killer,
you could be the best teacher.
Like you, literally can comehere and live out any desire.
(53:42):
Yeah, we're a right choice.
Yeah, free will and total choice, and it is not for me to judge.
I may not agree with you, I maynot like it, and hey, by the
way, there are some seriousconsequences for some of those
choices.
Yeah, but if that's the pathand experience, your soul is
(54:03):
here to experience.
I have no say in.
That Doesn't mean I want to bearound you.
Maybe, or maybe I do want to bearound you because maybe I love
the choices you're making.
But really I feel a lot of thedistraction, and the noise that
you even brought up is just that, like people having all this
judgment and pointing fingershey, there's three more pointing
(54:26):
right back at you.
So why don't you focus on youand when you find, you then
bring yourself to the party,because then you're going to
bring something so valuable, sovaluable but it's very much what
you said where this is just aculture designed around
distraction and I, I that's awhole nother conversation, Cause
I feel that that distraction isdesigned to keep you
(54:48):
disconnected from source power,God at the end of the day.
And there's even distractionsin those worlds too, Like we
want to talk about God andreligion.
There's a whole, like that's awhole nother thing too.
But again, it's it's you chooseyour lane and live it to the
fullest and enjoy it.
Amen, you know be of service to.
(55:10):
I'm like be of service, damn itbe of service, but that's just
my core value.
That's my core value and youdon't have be of service damn it
be of service, but that's justmy core value.
That's my core value and youdon't have to be of service.
That's just what I choose.
But yeah, it really is.
It really is just coming backto center all the time and
bringing it right back to self.
Like what is it that's importantto me in this moment?
And it's funny, one of thecourses I took years ago it was
(55:33):
very deep in, like psychologyand sociology and things of that
nature, but really what it camedown to is that your whole
existence, for living, is to beseen and heard.
Like your whole existence outthere is, you're trying to show
people look, I exist, I exist, Iexist over here.
Look at my hair, look at myoutfit, look at what I said, I
(55:54):
exist.
Like when you get down, whenyou break down, all the human
layer at the end, like at thevery root of it, is just this,
this being within you, trying toprove that it exists.
And that goes back to beingheard and being seen.
And when you're heard and whenyou're seen, you feel like you
(56:15):
exist.
Somebody sees you, but it's alsoto your point of can you see
others?
Speaker 3 (56:24):
Yeah.
Even if they have a totallydifferent belief system, yes, a
different political view.
Can you allow them?
Speaker 1 (56:33):
Yes, and can then you allow them grace to have that,
because I believe that there'ssomething beautiful in whatever
their choice is yeah.
They're learning somethingreally beautiful and deep and
valuable to themselves that theywill contribute to this greater
good over time.
Yes, so, oh, my gosh like somany things we could go down.
Speaker 3 (56:54):
I know when you were saying that.
It reminds me of.
I truly believe that everyhuman is amazing, right we?
Speaker 1 (57:04):
are all here to make a difference.
Speaker 3 (57:05):
Yes, and when I talk to someone, wherever it is, I
want to figure out what theiramazingness is.
Yes, and that's probablybecause I'm a coach and I love
service.
Speaker 1 (57:17):
Well, it's, it's because that's, that's part of
your core value.
Yeah.
And it's a light that shines.
Yes, yes.
Yes, and and and.
For me, maybe it's becausethat's my core value also.
For me, I, I and I just gotchills.
I, I really believe I'm like.
For me, I and I just got chills.
I really believe I'm like youknow, that's God's gift.
(57:37):
Right there, it's like I wantto be curious about who you are.
Who are you and what?
do I get to learn with you andfrom you?
And doesn't mean I have toagree but there's still
something beautiful and specialabout who you are.
You know everybody, everybody,and that's.
You know even the psychokillers.
(57:58):
Okay, because?
Because I think you know everysoul on this planet was born
with just pure love and joy.
Speaker 3 (58:09):
Yeah, yeah, there's a reason why it's conditioning.
Speaker 1 (58:13):
Yes, it's conditioning and the human
condition is real and the humanmind is fragile.
And I say that the human mindis fragile because it's easily
conditioned and it takessomething for the soul within to
do the work to uncondition orrecondition or rewire, as you
said Like, bring it back toleadership and rewiring.
(58:35):
Like it takes something for youto rewire your brain and then
live a life that you love.
Speaker 3 (58:43):
And trauma does so much damage.
Oh my God, but you can.
You know, you can rewire, yep,you can reparent, yes.
Speaker 1 (58:53):
Part of you.
Every day is a new day.
Every day, yeah, do over.
Let's do a do over okay, so soyou know we could go on forever.
But, vanessa, where canlisteners find you?
Where can they find you?
So I'm going to put all thelinks down below in the show
notes and I want to wrap up theshow.
But where can we find you?
Speaker 3 (59:13):
you can find me on LinkedIn.
That's where I share.
I share my heart.
There, I share my work I do, I,I feel like I don't mind
showing my true struggles and myvulnerability.
As a business owner, a woman, aLatina, a coach, I'm there to
(59:34):
add value and to bring onconnection, because that's one
of my core values is theconnection.
It's an ultimate key to mine.
So LinkedIn is the place you'llfind me regularly.
Speaker 1 (59:45):
Okay, so, vanessa Yu, and that's why you and I will
put I'll get your LinkedIn link,and then what is your website?
My website?
Speaker 3 (59:54):
is coachvanessaucom.
I just redid it with an amazingweb designer and you can find
free resources there.
I have a monthly time I'm goingto start called Turn Down the
Noise.
Ah, love, that I'm going to forfree.
You can come recenter.
I love that and find yourclarity for whatever's going on
(01:00:16):
in your life, it's for leaders,but, as you mentioned,
everyone's a leader.
Yes, number one, you're leadingyourself, yep.
Number two, you're leadingthose in your sphere, yep.
Whether it's your children,your call, whatever, like,
everyone's a leader.
So it's called Turn Down theNoise.
I also have some journalprompts that really evoke more
(01:00:39):
values and download that forfree, and then I'm starting a
leadership book club.
That's awesome.
That's awesome and that's whereyou can find me.
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
Yeah, and I have a newsletter that I send out
monthly every now and then it'stwice a month, but now it's
monthly, that's fantastic I Ijust want to say thank you for
joining us on Rooted in Risingtoday and, you know, thank you
for being my first guest on myfirst new podcast.
Yeah, like my new rebrandedpodcast.
(01:01:14):
So yeah, because I think thatrewiring leadership and really
living and stepping into yourtruth, it just it resonates.
So I want to say thank you forreaching out and I'm really
excited and so all of you whoare listening, as I mentioned, I
will put all of the links downbelow in the comments.
(01:01:34):
Um, as I mentioned, I will putall of the links down below in
the comments.
Uh, be sure to comment, youknow.
Or I should say, what's aquestion?
Is there a question you want toleave people with that maybe
they can comment on.
Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Yes, well, there's a couple questions.
Is what do you, what are yourvalues?
And you know there's so manyresources on on the internet
that you can go help yourself.
Um, and the second one is whodo you become when you live out
your values?
Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
So what are your values, y'all?
And who do you become when youlive out your values?
Like, what does that reallybring?
And I love that.
So comment below, tell us whatyour values are and maybe even
share with us.
If you don't know your values,maybe you discovered a value
while listening to us today andshare that and really feel into.
(01:02:29):
What would life look like foryou if you were really rooted in
that value?
Yeah, and it's not even rootedbecause it's there, it's just
owning it and understanding whatwould life look like for you if
you were really rooted in thatvalue.
Yeah, and it's not even rootedbecause it's there, it's just
owning it and understanding that.
That's your value, and owningthat value because they're there
.
Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
First you need knowledge of what those words
are yes, what those values?
Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
are.
Yes, it's like putting it's,giving them name, giving them
resonance in your body, and I, Ilove that.
You know, when you said mastery, I was like oh yeah, mastery,
which goes for my crazy, likeyou know, the perfection part of
me which is like it's got to beperfect it's gonna be perfect
and it's like, oh, that's justme trying to master that mastery
(01:03:07):
piece, because then I feel likeI have something more to give
back.
What were you gonna?
Speaker 3 (01:03:09):
say you know what, if people, I wouldn't mind.
If I received an email askingfor my assessment, I'd be happy
to share it with people.
Oh yes, needs and values youget both.
Yes, yes, they can.
Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
If anyone emails me, I will reply Okay, great, then I
will also put your email inthere as well.
And what is your email?
Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
It is Vanessa at coachvanessayoucom.
Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
Perfect.
I will add that to the links aswell.
So thank you so much for beingwith us today and thank you
everyone for listening to Rootedin Rising.
We're going to see you inanother couple of weeks and I
look forward to having you guysall back on the show.
Be sure to comment like sharethis episode with anybody who
you feel it might make adifference for, and thank you
for always being with us.
(01:03:51):
We love you have and thank youfor always being with us.
We love you have a great day.
Thank you for rooting in andrising with me today.
If something in this episodestirred something in you, take a
breath, take what you need andlet the rest soften.
Be sure to follow the show soyou don't miss what's next and,
if you feel called, share thisepisode or leave a review.
It helps the space grow andreach others on the path.
Until next time, may you walkwith trust, speak with love and
(01:04:16):
rise in your own time.
I'm so grateful you were herewith us and thanks for being
here.
We'll see you on the nextepisode.
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