June 16, 2025 • 19 mins
Transformation often begins when we feel safe enough to be real. In this powerful conversation with U.S. Marine and motivational speaker Max Dutton, we explore how creating environments where young people can drop their masks leads to profound personal growth and connection.
Max takes us behind the scenes of the Rotary Youth Leadership Awards (RYLA) camp, where 450 high school juniors experience a life-changing weekend of vulnerability and authentic connection. "We live in this world where it's just not okay to be yourself," Max explains, describing how teens constantly perform for social validation. But within the safe container of RYLA, something remarkable happens—participants realize they're not alone in their struggles, that "we're not that different," breaking down walls of isolation that many young people build around themselves.
What makes Max's message so compelling is the raw authenticity of his own journey. Born into a home ravaged by addiction and domestic violence, he made deliberate choices different from his sister despite sharing the same traumatic childhood. "One degree of change," he emphasizes, can completely alter your life's trajectory. His central message resonates deeply with both teens and adults alike: "You are in control—your environment does not define you unless you allow it to." This philosophy of personal agency has guided Max from comforting his severely abused mother as a seven-year-old child to finding profound purpose as a speaker who helps others navigate their own darkness.
Whether you work with youth, have overcome trauma, or simply want to live with greater purpose, Max's insights will inspire you to embrace your authentic self while helping others do the same. Subscribe to Community Heroes of Hope to hear more stories of remarkable individuals creating positive change in our communities.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Community.
Heroes of Hope, a podcast wherewe shine a light on the
remarkable individuals andprojects in Rotary District 5330
that bring hope and change toour local and global communities
.
I am Judy Zelfikar, yourco-host and the current District
Governor of Rotary District5330.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And I'm Niren McLean, the Rotary District
Governor-Elect, and I'm NirenMcLean, the Rotary District
Governor-Elect.
Together, we're diving deepinto the heart of the community
service, showcasing the impactof dedication and collaboration
in addressing some of the mostpressing challenges our
communities face.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Each episode, we'll tell stories of incredible
people making a difference,innovating solutions and
inspiring others to take action.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We'll also be giving you a behind-the-scenes look at
the projects that aretransforming their lives, and
we'll discuss how you, too, canget involved, contribute and be
part of the positive change.
Whether you're a seasonedRotarian or just looking to give
back, this podcast is for you.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
So join us as we explore the journeys, challenges
and successes of people likeyou who have stepped up to make
a difference.
Let's celebrate the spirit ofcommunity and the power of hope
together.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Don't forget to subscribe to the Community
Heroes of Hope on your favoritepodcast platform.
Stay with us on this journey ofinspiration and let's spread
the message of hope further thanever.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Thank you for tuning in.
Let's get started.
Niren, we have a very specialguest with us today.
You met him up at Ryla when youwere up in Ryla in April, right
?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Absolutely and very, very exciting, very dynamic
young man and a Marine which I'mvery excited about.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Go Marines.
My dad was a Marine.
I think I told you that, Max,when I saw you.
So, Max, why don't youintroduce yourself and tell us a
little bit about you?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Absolutely no.
I appreciate that, judy.
It means the world to be onhere with you guys.
And I'll tell you another thing.
You know it's always a blessingwhen you get to share a space
with, with individuals who arejust moving through life in the
right ways.
You know, cause there's so much, so much mediocrity in this
world, and so we need to sitwith leaders that are just
taking taking advantage ofopportunities and just helping
people out and guiding themthrough the, through the
(02:15):
challenges.
You know that that camp we didwas excellent.
So my name is MaximilianAlexander Dutton.
I'm a, as you said, a UnitedStates Marine, but I'm a
motivational speaker.
I am a childhood traumasurvivor.
I am an individual who wants tosee other people thrive.
I want to be a part of theirjourney.
Right?
I've been blessed to have theopportunity to speak across the
(02:37):
country over the last couple ofyears to inspire audiences from
all different demographics, ages, occupations, you name it.
I've been in the United StatesMarine Corps for 15 years.
I'm a gun resurgence now andI'll be retiring here very, very
shortly in the next couple ofyears, and my family here is in
South Florida.
We're getting ready to relocateto Northeast of the United
(02:58):
States, southern Boston, newEngland area, so we're really
excited about that.
In a few weeks.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Oh, that's up with your area.
That's my neck of the woods.
I'm a Massachusetts boy.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
That's where I'll be at.
We actually just bought a homein Manchester, new Hampshire,
and so I'm very, very pumped upabout that.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I'm up there all the time.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Well, it was really a pleasure to see you at our RILA
camps and just because some ofour audience may not necessarily
be Rotarians our necessarily beRotarians Our RILA program is
Rotary Youth Leadership AcademyI'm sorry, awards.
I always want to call itacademy Rotary Youth Leadership
Awards and basically we haveevery year in our district and
(03:34):
this happens all over the world,but for our district we have
two different camps that go upto the mountains, a total of
about 450 11th graders that goup for a weekend and really have
a life-changing experience and,max, you were truly a part of
that this last camp.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Absolutely.
I appreciate that.
No, I mean, it was definitelyan experience that you have to
be there to really see thetransformation.
Just 72 hours is incredible.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So this was your first camp with us.
Can you kind of tell us whatwas your?
What did you think you weregetting yourself into?
And what did you get yourselfinto and what?
What did you take away from theexperience you had as our
motivational speaker at ourRhyla camp?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Well, you know, I think that for me, normally when
I do my speaking engagements,I'm able to get in front of
people.
It's kind of like a one shot,one, one, you know, one event
type, day kind of thing, whereyou know I go up there, do my
thing for an hour, hour and ahalf and then, you know, I
disappear back into my neck ofwoods, go home, whatever the
case may be, you know.
(04:46):
And so, with this one being athree day event, I wasn't quite
sure what that experience wasgoing to be like, uh.
But you know, uh, the, thegentleman who worked with me,
mike, one of my you know newfriends, a great guy, um, he had
made it seem like it was goingto be awesome because there were
s'mores and there was, you knowgreat food, well, anywhere that
there's s'mores about free foodand s'mores, like I'm in, you
know.
So I didn't really know what toexpect outside of that, but you
(05:06):
know what ultimately came of itwas just such a transformative
experience for these17-year-olds.
I mean just for them to be ableto go in there and, probably for
the first time in their life,to be able to just kind of let
their walls down right.
We live in this world where it'sjust not okay to be yourself,
it's not okay to be real, it'snot okay to be present, right
(05:27):
Like we're always in thisconstant rat race of pretending
to be something that we're not.
You know, we're trying to makefriends, we're trying to impress
people and for them to be ableto say you know, this thing
happening, this painful momenthappened to me and to be able to
have other people where theylook around and look around,
they realize something reallyimportant that we're not that
different, right Like who Itruly am.
(05:47):
It turns out there's otherpeople who have been through
these things with me, and youknow what it turns out.
I don't have to be afraidanymore, I don't have to be
alone anymore.
I can be who I am meant to be,and for me it was also a really
humbling experience.
You know, as a militaryrecruiter I spent a lot of time
with that age group juniors andseniors in high school.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Right Tough time in a kid's life sometimes.
It is a tough time, especiallyif they feel really alone in
that pain and that trauma right.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Absolutely, absolutely, you know.
So a transformative experience,to say the least, and I'm,
without a doubt, I'm 100 percentcertain that those individuals
will remember that forever andthat can be a foundational
building block that will carrythem for probably the rest of
their life, hopefully, maybe, tobe Rotarians one day themselves
.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Well, we saw that during the excuse me, the talent
, no talent evening.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah, and on your camp I understand that there was
a little bit more no talentthan the talent.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
There was a higher percentage of no talent.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
But you know what it was amazing.
But that's the fun part, right.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
The kids felt safe.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
They felt safe.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
To go up there, knowing sometimes they had no
talent getting up and just kindof improvising and doing it
anyway.
Doing it anyway, and that wastruly remarkable, and I think
that's one of the great thingsabout the camp.
It just it allows, as Max said,people to step out, let their
hair down, but feel safe.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And I think that's the biggest part, max, you
really connected to thesestudents because not all of them
, but many of them have had somekind of trauma in their life
and your story is so powerfuland I really think it set them
at ease and understanding.
I'm not alone, I can have aconversation, I can be
(07:37):
successful, I can reach out tothose around me and and find
friendships and find supportfrom both my peers and the
adults around me.
It really you kind of see it asthe camp goes from day one,
when they arrive, until the end,when they're all best of
friends and are friendshipsforever and have built these
(08:00):
wonderful relationships with notonly their peers but also with
the adult discretion groupleaders that they've worked with
throughout the, throughout theweek, weekend.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Certainly.
Yeah, I mean, I completelyagree with you.
I I'm um, uh, you know the agegroup for me.
I'm 32, you know, and so forsome of them, you know, I'm just
another old person you're anold guy.
Ah, welcome to our world right,but it's like I'm still young.
You know, I'm still young, I'mstill full, full energy, full
life, and my life has not evenreally begun yet.
(08:33):
But you know, with with these,with these young folks, you know
, to be able to connect withthem and to be able to share the
next 10 years with them, toshow them they look like I know
what happens next, like I'veseen it Right and I want to
guide you through that.
And they're so receptive.
I mean they want to win in lifeand like they want to succeed
in whatever.
That looks like.
(08:53):
Um, you know, for me, growing up, it's like all I wanted to do
was just not have to worry aboutwhat to eat.
You know, all I wanted to do wasjust not have to worry about
where, where I'm sleeping, orhaving to reset my life, move or
be homeless or whatever.
And, um, you know, I want themto know one powerful thing when
(09:13):
I am done with my message, thefew speeches that I do there, I
want them to be able to walkaway with this, that you and
this is for the listeners heretoo like you are in control,
like it's your world right, likeI will never be able to look
out of your eyes, judy, and I'llnever be able to look out of
your eyes and to be able to seethe world the way you see it,
because it's your world.
(09:33):
The world really does revolvearound whoever is experiencing
it, and so they're in completecontrol of what they do, their
actions and like they.
Yeah, they're 16, 17.
They may not feel like, theymay not feel like adults or
whatever, but that is the mostcritical time in their life.
That is the building block, thefoundation.
So you know, I want them tojust be able to really take that
(09:56):
and let them know that yourenvironment does not define you
unless you allow it to, because,again, you're in control.
You can let it do whatever youwant it to do.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
That's absolutely true, and I'd love you to talk
about maybe a single experience.
I know I just happened to walkup and saw a kid having a real
intense conversation with youand this kid was like I was
going this way and now I'm goinga different way, based upon
your input.
What kind of things did youwalk away from the weekend with
(10:27):
that are similar to that?
Was there any particular momentthat stood out for you in that
experience that you had at Ryla?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
You know, it was actually strange.
It was a Sunday, so it was likewe were kind of wrapping things
up.
It was the first, first firstcamp of the year and we were
wrapping things up that sunday.
I was having a conversationwith a young woman and she
started talking about how, um,she just wants to be able to
have friends.
You know, she's like I justwant to have some friends at
school.
I just feel like nobody wantsto hang out with me, nobody
(10:59):
wants to spend time with me, andthen I asked her, I said, a
very, very, very impactful, very, very important question to her
.
I just said why does it matter?
And she broke down in tearsright there.
She just started to cry.
She just broke down, you know,and, um, I think that she
(11:23):
probably had a realization thatit doesn't matter.
And she she can't quite put herfinger on why she thought that
it mattered.
Because we're taught to thinkthat it matters.
We're taught to think that it'sabout the likes, right, like
Instagram, or whole life isworried about how many likes do
I get?
How many views have I gotten?
How many people want to say I'mawesome?
(11:43):
And and you know, like I tellmy students, for example,
because I teach other people tobecome motivational speakers as
well, and I teach my studentsand my look to be yourself and
don't do it for the likes.
Do what you like, then youraudience will come.
And the same thing is for 16 17year olds, when you're trying
to find friends and find yourniche and find your group, find
your, your identity and your inyour team, right, like, be you,
(12:05):
and then the right people willcome to you.
It's not about like trying tofit, trying to fit yourself.
You know you're square, you'rea square.
Why put yourself in a roundhole?
Right, right, you know you're,you're a parallelogram, you
don't't fit there.
Just be you Right and you'llfind the other parallelograms,
so they'll make their way in,you know.
(12:26):
But yeah, it was a powerful.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I'd like to ask you, max, how you, how you got
started on the motivational side.
What was the driving force?
What was the catalyst?
What was the driving force?
What was the catalyst?
Because you're very impactfuland what I like is that you're
so much different than theprevious person who was hosting
our Ryla camp for years, and Ithink that there's a certain
(12:53):
sense charisma, power that youhave and the ability to connect
with these kids.
I'm real curious as to how youstarted down this road.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Well, you know, I'll tell you, sir, not to be too
dark here, you know, but I tryto keep things light toward the
ends of my presentations.
But you know, there's a lot ofdarkness in this world, there's
a lot of pain in this world thatyou face, right, and we all
face it.
And really the question is,it's like, how do you respond to
it?
Um me, I have a sister who, herand I, grew up together.
(13:28):
Um, we went through the samethings together up until about
the age of 14.
And she decided to take heradult life and to do what she
saw.
And I took my adult life and Ichose to do what I didn't see.
And we went on two completelydifferent paths.
And as time goes on, we aregetting further and further and
further apart.
Like you know, for example, aplane takes off from California
(13:50):
to go to Washington DC.
Change the angle of the nose byone degree, and you know what,
initially, after the firsthundred miles, it may not be
that big of a difference, butafter you know, a thousand miles
, before, you know, and you know, you are hours apart.
When you reach your finaldestination, you know, a
thousand miles away from whereyou thought you were going to be
, and so you know it's, it's,it's, it's exponential, and so I
(14:14):
guess, like how my story kindof began, I was a motivator from
a young age.
I was a motivational speakerfrom probably about the age of
five and up, and the reason whyI say that is because my father
was an extremely abusive guy.
I mean, I have a greatrelationship with him now, but
I'm not afraid to share my story.
It's like he was a tyrant.
(14:35):
He was a no-nonsense kind ofguy.
I'm half black and half whiteand my father was just an
old-school African-Americanraised in the streets of
Philadelphia type of guy.
He was also a crack addict andhad a really hard time with that
alcoholism, and my mother aswell, and so they would get into
domestic abuse situations andhe would beat my mom very badly.
I mean she'd have to behospitalized, she would be
(14:57):
running for her life trying toescape, escape and you know,
eventually he would either getarrested or disappear, for you
know however long, or we wouldmove away.
And you know when my wife, mymother's life, was in despair,
you know when her eye socketswere broken, when we had no
money or no food or no anything,when, when her life just kept
falling apart over and over andover again.
I mean, I had two optionseither one I could sit by and
(15:19):
watch her go through this and donothing and say nothing, or,
you know, I can, just, you know,try to use my seven year old
reasoning to try to explain toher that everything's going to
be okay and we'll find a wayforward and like whatever.
And and that's how it reallybegan, you know, and I think I
began to conceptualize the factthat we're in control early in
my life, and you know, I have alot of people who, throughout my
(15:43):
younger time in the MarineCorps, would ask me questions
and ask me, you know, advice andguidance, even though I was
super unqualified.
I mean, I'm not, I do have acollege degree, but like barely
you know what I mean and I know,it's like I'm not a very
educated guy per se.
I read a lot of books, that'sabout it, you know.
But it's like.
But people always, even beforethat, have sought my guidance
(16:04):
for one reason or another.
And I haven't always been a manof God, but I am a follower of
Christ and I will tell you likeI realized now my age, at 32
years old, that he's beenwalking with me this entire time
and and my story is my pain, my, my, my reality I was put here
to do what I'm doing now.
(16:24):
You know, like, this is whatI'm supposed to do, and he's
been telling me that since thebeginning.
So that's how it started.
And you know, I've reached apoint in my life where I've
skipped, you know, the pyramid,you know Maslow's hierarchy,
right, like I'm still, you knowI'm missing things in the middle
.
Still, don't get me wrong.
You know, but, like, but, Ihave my purpose in life and that
(16:47):
, right there, drives me, uh, myself-actualization.
Like I know what I'm here to doIf I die today.
I mean, I have my son, I havemy daughter, I have my, my, my,
my family's.
Okay, I got my life insurancepolicies.
Like I'm doing everything Ineed to do.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
And need to do, and if today was my last day, like,
I've done my thing and so everyday after today is extra, so
that's why I do what I do.
Forged by the fire, right, Ilove that.
Well, we really appreciate youjoining us today.
We know you have a little bitof a tight schedule and we want
to respect that, but we arehappy that you are part of the
Riley experience that ourstudents are going through Any
final thoughts, Nyron.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
I'm just.
It amazes me how, as Mike says,your perspective in life and
realizing and that's what I loveabout Ryle and Max, and that's
some of the passion that drivesus in what we do in Rotary,
because the more kids that wecan get in front of Max, the
more kids we get to have thatexperience and to realize, if
(17:46):
nothing else, that they leave,that they realize that what you
said, they're in control oftheir life and they have the
power.
Then the world opens up to themlike a new flower.
So I'm really, I'm justimpressed with you.
It's impressive.
When I first met you and thankyou for what you do and thank
you for being able to rise abovethe pain and the darkness to
(18:08):
shed some light on somebody elseon the planet and to help light
their way forward.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Thank you so appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
So any final thoughts Max?
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Well, you know, anybody listening to this,
you're never too old to learn.
You're never done right, like,figure out what the next thing
is.
You know a finished musician isa finished musician that's what
we say in the music world, andso, like we got to make sure
(18:40):
that we might be a guy, you meettomorrow and need something
from you, and if you decidetoday that you're done, then you
missed the opportunity of alifetime, because a lifetime of
the opportunity is all there is.
So you know, never be done withit.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Awesome.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I just want to say, Max, there's a university out
here and their tagline is liveyour purpose, and when I look at
you, I see that that you'reliving your purpose and that's
really quite remarkable.
So thank you.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Thank you so much for that.
I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Awesome, and we'll see you next March.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
See you next March.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
All right, have a good one.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Take care.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
So that wraps up this episode of Heroes of Hope.
We are so happy that we have anaudience out there listening.
We want you to subscribe, shareand tell your friends about the
Rotary Community Heroes of Hope, because that's how we get the
word out about the impact we'rehaving in this world.
Hello and welcome to the Community.
Heroes of Hope, a podcast wherewe shine a light on the
remarkable individuals andprojects in Rotary District 5330
that bring hope and change toour local and global communities
.
I am Judy Zelfikar, yourco-host and the current District
Governor of Rotary District5330.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
And I'm Niren McLean, the Rotary District
Governor-Elect, and I'm NirenMcLean, the Rotary District
Governor-Elect.
Together, we're diving deepinto the heart of the community
service, showcasing the impactof dedication and collaboration
in addressing some of the mostpressing challenges our
communities face.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Each episode, we'll tell stories of incredible
people making a difference,innovating solutions and
inspiring others to take action.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We'll also be giving you a behind-the-scenes look at
the projects that aretransforming their lives, and
we'll discuss how you, too, canget involved, contribute and be
part of the positive change.
Whether you're a seasonedRotarian or just looking to give
back, this podcast is for you.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
So join us as we explore the journeys, challenges
and successes of people likeyou who have stepped up to make
a difference.
Let's celebrate the spirit ofcommunity and the power of hope
together.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Don't forget to subscribe to the Community
Heroes of Hope on your favoritepodcast platform.
Stay with us on this journey ofinspiration and let's spread
the message of hope further thanever.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Thank you for tuning in.
Let's get started.
Niren, we have a very specialguest with us today.
You met him up at Ryla when youwere up in Ryla in April, right
?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Absolutely and very, very exciting, very dynamic
young man and a Marine which I'mvery excited about.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Go Marines.
My dad was a Marine.
I think I told you that, Max,when I saw you.
So, Max, why don't youintroduce yourself and tell us a
little bit about you?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Absolutely no.
I appreciate that, judy.
It means the world to be onhere with you guys.
And I'll tell you another thing.
You know it's always a blessingwhen you get to share a space
with, with individuals who arejust moving through life in the
right ways.
You know, cause there's so much, so much mediocrity in this
world, and so we need to sitwith leaders that are just
taking taking advantage ofopportunities and just helping
people out and guiding themthrough the, through the
(02:15):
challenges.
You know that that camp we didwas excellent.
So my name is MaximilianAlexander Dutton.
I'm a, as you said, a UnitedStates Marine, but I'm a
motivational speaker.
I am a childhood traumasurvivor.
I am an individual who wants tosee other people thrive.
I want to be a part of theirjourney.
Right?
I've been blessed to have theopportunity to speak across the
(02:37):
country over the last couple ofyears to inspire audiences from
all different demographics, ages, occupations, you name it.
I've been in the United StatesMarine Corps for 15 years.
I'm a gun resurgence now andI'll be retiring here very, very
shortly in the next couple ofyears, and my family here is in
South Florida.
We're getting ready to relocateto Northeast of the United
(02:58):
States, southern Boston, newEngland area, so we're really
excited about that.
In a few weeks.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Oh, that's up with your area.
That's my neck of the woods.
I'm a Massachusetts boy.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
That's where I'll be at.
We actually just bought a homein Manchester, new Hampshire,
and so I'm very, very pumped upabout that.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I'm up there all the time.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Well, it was really a pleasure to see you at our RILA
camps and just because some ofour audience may not necessarily
be Rotarians our necessarily beRotarians Our RILA program is
Rotary Youth Leadership AcademyI'm sorry, awards.
I always want to call itacademy Rotary Youth Leadership
Awards and basically we haveevery year in our district and
(03:34):
this happens all over the world,but for our district we have
two different camps that go upto the mountains, a total of
about 450 11th graders that goup for a weekend and really have
a life-changing experience and,max, you were truly a part of
that this last camp.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Absolutely.
I appreciate that.
No, I mean, it was definitelyan experience that you have to
be there to really see thetransformation.
Just 72 hours is incredible.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So this was your first camp with us.
Can you kind of tell us whatwas your?
What did you think you weregetting yourself into?
And what did you get yourselfinto and what?
What did you take away from theexperience you had as our
motivational speaker at ourRhyla camp?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Well, you know, I think that for me, normally when
I do my speaking engagements,I'm able to get in front of
people.
It's kind of like a one shot,one, one, you know, one event
type, day kind of thing, whereyou know I go up there, do my
thing for an hour, hour and ahalf and then, you know, I
disappear back into my neck ofwoods, go home, whatever the
case may be, you know.
(04:46):
And so, with this one being athree day event, I wasn't quite
sure what that experience wasgoing to be like, uh.
But you know, uh, the, thegentleman who worked with me,
mike, one of my you know newfriends, a great guy, um, he had
made it seem like it was goingto be awesome because there were
s'mores and there was, you knowgreat food, well, anywhere that
there's s'mores about free foodand s'mores, like I'm in, you
know.
So I didn't really know what toexpect outside of that, but you
(05:06):
know what ultimately came of itwas just such a transformative
experience for these17-year-olds.
I mean just for them to be ableto go in there and, probably for
the first time in their life,to be able to just kind of let
their walls down right.
We live in this world where it'sjust not okay to be yourself,
it's not okay to be real, it'snot okay to be present, right
(05:27):
Like we're always in thisconstant rat race of pretending
to be something that we're not.
You know, we're trying to makefriends, we're trying to impress
people and for them to be ableto say you know, this thing
happening, this painful momenthappened to me and to be able to
have other people where theylook around and look around,
they realize something reallyimportant that we're not that
different, right Like who Itruly am.
(05:47):
It turns out there's otherpeople who have been through
these things with me, and youknow what it turns out.
I don't have to be afraidanymore, I don't have to be
alone anymore.
I can be who I am meant to be,and for me it was also a really
humbling experience.
You know, as a militaryrecruiter I spent a lot of time
with that age group juniors andseniors in high school.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Right Tough time in a kid's life sometimes.
It is a tough time, especiallyif they feel really alone in
that pain and that trauma right.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Absolutely, absolutely, you know.
So a transformative experience,to say the least, and I'm,
without a doubt, I'm 100 percentcertain that those individuals
will remember that forever andthat can be a foundational
building block that will carrythem for probably the rest of
their life, hopefully, maybe, tobe Rotarians one day themselves
.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Well, we saw that during the excuse me, the talent
, no talent evening.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah, and on your camp I understand that there was
a little bit more no talentthan the talent.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
There was a higher percentage of no talent.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
But you know what it was amazing.
But that's the fun part, right.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
The kids felt safe.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
They felt safe.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
To go up there, knowing sometimes they had no
talent getting up and just kindof improvising and doing it
anyway.
Doing it anyway, and that wastruly remarkable, and I think
that's one of the great thingsabout the camp.
It just it allows, as Max said,people to step out, let their
hair down, but feel safe.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
And I think that's the biggest part, max, you
really connected to thesestudents because not all of them
, but many of them have had somekind of trauma in their life
and your story is so powerfuland I really think it set them
at ease and understanding.
I'm not alone, I can have aconversation, I can be
(07:37):
successful, I can reach out tothose around me and and find
friendships and find supportfrom both my peers and the
adults around me.
It really you kind of see it asthe camp goes from day one,
when they arrive, until the end,when they're all best of
friends and are friendshipsforever and have built these
(08:00):
wonderful relationships with notonly their peers but also with
the adult discretion groupleaders that they've worked with
throughout the, throughout theweek, weekend.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Certainly.
Yeah, I mean, I completelyagree with you.
I I'm um, uh, you know the agegroup for me.
I'm 32, you know, and so forsome of them, you know, I'm just
another old person you're anold guy.
Ah, welcome to our world right,but it's like I'm still young.
You know, I'm still young, I'mstill full, full energy, full
life, and my life has not evenreally begun yet.
(08:33):
But you know, with with these,with these young folks, you know
, to be able to connect withthem and to be able to share the
next 10 years with them, toshow them they look like I know
what happens next, like I'veseen it Right and I want to
guide you through that.
And they're so receptive.
I mean they want to win in lifeand like they want to succeed
in whatever.
That looks like.
(08:53):
Um, you know, for me, growing up, it's like all I wanted to do
was just not have to worry aboutwhat to eat.
You know, all I wanted to do wasjust not have to worry about
where, where I'm sleeping, orhaving to reset my life, move or
be homeless or whatever.
And, um, you know, I want themto know one powerful thing when
(09:13):
I am done with my message, thefew speeches that I do there, I
want them to be able to walkaway with this, that you and
this is for the listeners heretoo like you are in control,
like it's your world right, likeI will never be able to look
out of your eyes, judy, and I'llnever be able to look out of
your eyes and to be able to seethe world the way you see it,
because it's your world.
(09:33):
The world really does revolvearound whoever is experiencing
it, and so they're in completecontrol of what they do, their
actions and like they.
Yeah, they're 16, 17.
They may not feel like, theymay not feel like adults or
whatever, but that is the mostcritical time in their life.
That is the building block, thefoundation.
So you know, I want them tojust be able to really take that
(09:56):
and let them know that yourenvironment does not define you
unless you allow it to, because,again, you're in control.
You can let it do whatever youwant it to do.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
That's absolutely true, and I'd love you to talk
about maybe a single experience.
I know I just happened to walkup and saw a kid having a real
intense conversation with youand this kid was like I was
going this way and now I'm goinga different way, based upon
your input.
What kind of things did youwalk away from the weekend with
(10:27):
that are similar to that?
Was there any particular momentthat stood out for you in that
experience that you had at Ryla?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
You know, it was actually strange.
It was a Sunday, so it was likewe were kind of wrapping things
up.
It was the first, first firstcamp of the year and we were
wrapping things up that sunday.
I was having a conversationwith a young woman and she
started talking about how, um,she just wants to be able to
have friends.
You know, she's like I justwant to have some friends at
school.
I just feel like nobody wantsto hang out with me, nobody
(10:59):
wants to spend time with me, andthen I asked her, I said, a
very, very, very impactful, very, very important question to her
.
I just said why does it matter?
And she broke down in tearsright there.
She just started to cry.
She just broke down, you know,and, um, I think that she
(11:23):
probably had a realization thatit doesn't matter.
And she she can't quite put herfinger on why she thought that
it mattered.
Because we're taught to thinkthat it matters.
We're taught to think that it'sabout the likes, right, like
Instagram, or whole life isworried about how many likes do
I get?
How many views have I gotten?
How many people want to say I'mawesome?
(11:43):
And and you know, like I tellmy students, for example,
because I teach other people tobecome motivational speakers as
well, and I teach my studentsand my look to be yourself and
don't do it for the likes.
Do what you like, then youraudience will come.
And the same thing is for 16 17year olds, when you're trying
to find friends and find yourniche and find your group, find
your, your identity and your inyour team, right, like, be you,
(12:05):
and then the right people willcome to you.
It's not about like trying tofit, trying to fit yourself.
You know you're square, you'rea square.
Why put yourself in a roundhole?
Right, right, you know you're,you're a parallelogram, you
don't't fit there.
Just be you Right and you'llfind the other parallelograms,
so they'll make their way in,you know.
(12:26):
But yeah, it was a powerful.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I'd like to ask you, max, how you, how you got
started on the motivational side.
What was the driving force?
What was the catalyst?
What was the driving force?
What was the catalyst?
Because you're very impactfuland what I like is that you're
so much different than theprevious person who was hosting
our Ryla camp for years, and Ithink that there's a certain
(12:53):
sense charisma, power that youhave and the ability to connect
with these kids.
I'm real curious as to how youstarted down this road.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Well, you know, I'll tell you, sir, not to be too
dark here, you know, but I tryto keep things light toward the
ends of my presentations.
But you know, there's a lot ofdarkness in this world, there's
a lot of pain in this world thatyou face, right, and we all
face it.
And really the question is,it's like, how do you respond to
it?
Um me, I have a sister who, herand I, grew up together.
(13:28):
Um, we went through the samethings together up until about
the age of 14.
And she decided to take heradult life and to do what she
saw.
And I took my adult life and Ichose to do what I didn't see.
And we went on two completelydifferent paths.
And as time goes on, we aregetting further and further and
further apart.
Like you know, for example, aplane takes off from California
(13:50):
to go to Washington DC.
Change the angle of the nose byone degree, and you know what,
initially, after the firsthundred miles, it may not be
that big of a difference, butafter you know, a thousand miles
, before, you know, and you know, you are hours apart.
When you reach your finaldestination, you know, a
thousand miles away from whereyou thought you were going to be
, and so you know it's, it's,it's, it's exponential, and so I
(14:14):
guess, like how my story kindof began, I was a motivator from
a young age.
I was a motivational speakerfrom probably about the age of
five and up, and the reason whyI say that is because my father
was an extremely abusive guy.
I mean, I have a greatrelationship with him now, but
I'm not afraid to share my story.
It's like he was a tyrant.
(14:35):
He was a no-nonsense kind ofguy.
I'm half black and half whiteand my father was just an
old-school African-Americanraised in the streets of
Philadelphia type of guy.
He was also a crack addict andhad a really hard time with that
alcoholism, and my mother aswell, and so they would get into
domestic abuse situations andhe would beat my mom very badly.
I mean she'd have to behospitalized, she would be
(14:57):
running for her life trying toescape, escape and you know,
eventually he would either getarrested or disappear, for you
know however long, or we wouldmove away.
And you know when my wife, mymother's life, was in despair,
you know when her eye socketswere broken, when we had no
money or no food or no anything,when, when her life just kept
falling apart over and over andover again.
I mean, I had two optionseither one I could sit by and
(15:19):
watch her go through this and donothing and say nothing, or,
you know, I can, just, you know,try to use my seven year old
reasoning to try to explain toher that everything's going to
be okay and we'll find a wayforward and like whatever.
And and that's how it reallybegan, you know, and I think I
began to conceptualize the factthat we're in control early in
my life, and you know, I have alot of people who, throughout my
(15:43):
younger time in the MarineCorps, would ask me questions
and ask me, you know, advice andguidance, even though I was
super unqualified.
I mean, I'm not, I do have acollege degree, but like barely
you know what I mean and I know,it's like I'm not a very
educated guy per se.
I read a lot of books, that'sabout it, you know.
But it's like.
But people always, even beforethat, have sought my guidance
(16:04):
for one reason or another.
And I haven't always been a manof God, but I am a follower of
Christ and I will tell you likeI realized now my age, at 32
years old, that he's beenwalking with me this entire time
and and my story is my pain, my, my, my reality I was put here
to do what I'm doing now.
(16:24):
You know, like, this is whatI'm supposed to do, and he's
been telling me that since thebeginning.
So that's how it started.
And you know, I've reached apoint in my life where I've
skipped, you know, the pyramid,you know Maslow's hierarchy,
right, like I'm still, you knowI'm missing things in the middle
.
Still, don't get me wrong.
You know, but, like, but, Ihave my purpose in life and that
(16:47):
, right there, drives me, uh, myself-actualization.
Like I know what I'm here to doIf I die today.
I mean, I have my son, I havemy daughter, I have my, my, my,
my family's.
Okay, I got my life insurancepolicies.
Like I'm doing everything Ineed to do.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
And need to do, and if today was my last day, like,
I've done my thing and so everyday after today is extra, so
that's why I do what I do.
Forged by the fire, right, Ilove that.
Well, we really appreciate youjoining us today.
We know you have a little bitof a tight schedule and we want
to respect that, but we arehappy that you are part of the
Riley experience that ourstudents are going through Any
final thoughts, Nyron.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
I'm just.
It amazes me how, as Mike says,your perspective in life and
realizing and that's what I loveabout Ryle and Max, and that's
some of the passion that drivesus in what we do in Rotary,
because the more kids that wecan get in front of Max, the
more kids we get to have thatexperience and to realize, if
(17:46):
nothing else, that they leave,that they realize that what you
said, they're in control oftheir life and they have the
power.
Then the world opens up to themlike a new flower.
So I'm really, I'm justimpressed with you.
It's impressive.
When I first met you and thankyou for what you do and thank
you for being able to rise abovethe pain and the darkness to
(18:08):
shed some light on somebody elseon the planet and to help light
their way forward.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Thank you so appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
So any final thoughts Max?
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Well, you know, anybody listening to this,
you're never too old to learn.
You're never done right, like,figure out what the next thing
is.
You know a finished musician isa finished musician that's what
we say in the music world, andso, like we got to make sure
(18:40):
that we might be a guy, you meettomorrow and need something
from you, and if you decidetoday that you're done, then you
missed the opportunity of alifetime, because a lifetime of
the opportunity is all there is.
So you know, never be done withit.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Awesome.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I just want to say, Max, there's a university out
here and their tagline is liveyour purpose, and when I look at
you, I see that that you'reliving your purpose and that's
really quite remarkable.
So thank you.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Thank you so much for that.
I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Awesome, and we'll see you next March.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
See you next March.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
All right, have a good one.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Take care.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
So that wraps up this episode of Heroes of Hope.
We are so happy that we have anaudience out there listening.
We want you to subscribe, shareand tell your friends about the
Rotary Community Heroes of Hope, because that's how we get the
word out about the impact we'rehaving in this world.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.