April 6, 2025 • 66 mins
The Roud and Loudy podcast salutes our military service members with Army Signal Corps veteran Jen, whose nine-year career spanning 42 countries began with the most unexpected motivation - walking past a row of recruitment offices and choosing the Army because "they had the hottest recruiters."
From establishing critical communications systems in remote global locations to surviving a near-death experience whitewater rafting at the source of the Nile River in Uganda, Jen's military journey combines harrowing adventure with unexpected humor. She recounts being pulled underwater by a waterfall so powerful she "couldn't see light from the surface," only to discover afterward that crocodiles and aggressive hippos populated those same waters.
Her stories range from frightening (getting terrifyingly lost in Abu Dhabi while trying to attend an AA meeting) to mortifying (being unwittingly hypnotized to simulate extreme pleasure in front of her new commanding officers). Behind the laughter lies Jen's remarkable 15-year sobriety journey, which she maintained even during high-stress deployments.
The episode strikes a perfect balance between reverence for military service and genuine human connection through humor, culminating in a hilarious "Top Five Worst Things to Say to a Drill Sergeant" segment that would make any veteran chuckle with recognition. Whether you've served or simply want to better understand military life beyond the stereotypes, these raw stories offer a window into the unexpected realities of service life.
Want to share your own military experiences? Connect with the show at RowdandLoudy@gmail.com and join the conversation celebrating those who've dedicated themselves to serving our country.
ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.
Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.
Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Welcome to the Roud and Loudy podcast.
This is episode 11, and tonightwe have a special show.
We are doing Salute to ServiceAll our service members, all our
troops that are out thereprotecting us every day.
We salute you.
We want you to know that we are.
We're here for you.
(00:40):
We got a special guest tonight.
We're here for you.
We got a special guest tonight.
Her name is Jen and she was inthe Army and she's going to tell
us some stories and she's gotsome really cool things going on
.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Eric, what do you got for us?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So happy for you to ask that.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Brian and I also want to let all the military men
know out there that they canstill keep their hats on, then
they can, you know, during thenational anthem.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You know what I mean Me and Brad should take it off,
but while you're listening, youcan leave it on because you're
the shit today.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
We also want to let you know that if you ever want
to get in touch with the show,it is RowdenLoudy at gmailcom.
Just like it's spelled.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Just like it's spelled.
Just like it's spelled.
Just like it's fucking spelledR-O-W-D-A-N-D-L-O-U-D-Y at
gmailcom.
Just like it's spelled.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Oh my God.
So how are you doing today, jen?
I'm great.
How are you?
I am fantastic.
So you served in the Army.
Yes, sir, how are you, I amfantastic.
So you served in the Army?
Yes, sir, how many years?
Nine, wow.
Thank you so much for yourservice.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
It was my honor and privilege.
What was your role?
So I was in the Signal Corpsand I was a signal support
system specialist.
So I would hook up differentmethods of communication from
remote locations across theglobe.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Awesome Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
That's a really important role.
Yes, I mean think before we hadcell phones, right, Like what
the fuck did the military do?
Like, do they have cup phones?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I don't think they had cup phones.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
He wasn't alive when phones were still connected to
the walls yes, I was, yes, I was.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I lived through all that shit.
It was traumatic.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You know the guy with the phone, they had the 100
foot cord dude.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
They used to have phones in cars and it was a
dollar a minute yeah, I know mymom and dad had one it had a
cord.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
It did and dad had one, had a cord it did, it did
and it plugged into thecigarette lighter.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
That's so cool.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Like if we can do that, why can't we put a popcorn
maker in there, right, right?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Well, they're putting coolers in cars now.
They have been for a while Likebuilt-in coolers.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Huh, I'm just saying if you can hook up a
communication system in thefucking jungle, you can probably
help me with this dream of apopcorn maker and I like that
and grow sour patch kids for youoh yeah you would never leave
yeah, the other day jen was outuh gardening and I was talking
to her and I was like you know,I bet there's not a lot of guys
(03:19):
that are into this, huh, andshe's like probably not, and I
was like you know, I think it'sthe product.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
If we could grow Sour Patch Kids Dude, if we could
grow Sour Patch Kids and.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Gorditas Hot and Ready's Gorditas.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
And then, like earlier, we were talking about
the cinnamon crunch toast.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Cinnamon toast crunch Cinnamon crunch toast.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
The cinnamon toast crunch tree with extra crunch
dust.
Yeah, Dude, that would be thefunniest 60 minutes ever Like.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I'm Dan.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Rather Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
tick.
Sudden uptick of men likinggardening coming to you after
tonight, right.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
So when you say that you're a signal support
specialist, did you, like you,have a team with you, or was it
just you?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
No, always on a team, okay.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Always.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Big, small, I mean when we were in garrison, which
means basically not deployedpart of a battalion, part of a
battalion.
When I was deployed, same thing, except when I was in Africa.
I was with civil affairs teamsfor different missions
(04:31):
throughout Africa.
So it was just me, but with adifferent team.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
You've probably heard some shit though Mm-hmm, that's
wild, that's awesome.
How many different countrieshave you been to?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
42.
, 42.
, 42.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'm so glad that I got this proof now because you
know earlier I was tellingeveryone that I tell people that
you're a badass right, I alwayslead with.
She's been to 26 countries andI've been fucking blown up.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Now, mind you think about.
You know, some of those werejust on the ground in the
airport, but I still count thatas being in a country, I mean in
and out.
Because I mean, if that wasn'tthe case, then it is probably
more like 26 or 28.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I'm still going to go up you know You're still going
to go with 42.
Yeah, I'm going to go with 42.
Do what you want man, it's gota nice ring to it.
But with you being in a bunchof random countries, I'm just
going to rapid fire ask you acouple questions real quick.
Okay, worst food?
What country?
Worst food?
Like the worst?
Like it just like high schoolcafeteria.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
It was very like.
I don't know, it was just blah.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
When I was in Africa that was a Air Force base, no
Navy base Camp Lemigny inDjibouti.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yes, I said Djibouti, Djibouti, camp Lemonnier in
Djibouti.
Yes, I said Djibouti, djibouti.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Djibouti.
If you take a map, like one ofthe flat map of the world or the
earth, and you fold it in half,djibouti is right on that ass,
crack, right on the crack.
That goes it's.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
America's ass crack.
They could have a whole touristdestination with that America's
ass crack or my wife likes itin Djibouti Would be a hilarious
shirt.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Oh, I'm sure they're there.
Well, maybe not though, because, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
But yeah, nicest people.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Uganda.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Uganda Uganda.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Favorite food.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah, favorite food, favorite other country's food
that you liked.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Indian Really Mm-hmm, I really grew.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
What was it about Indian food?
Because I've had Indian food.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
thai've had Indian food.
Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, I'msorry, thai, it was.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Thai, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I was about to ask a bunch of Indian questions.
No, it was Thai, like the guyin the cupboard, or?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
It was Thai because the spice I loved the spice.
At that point in my life Icouldn't eat things that were
hot enough Huh.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
If only they had tie in Djibouti, you could tie those
in.
You know, it all makes sense.
I like getting tied up inDjibouti, okay, okay um, what
was the most, uh, what was theclosest to America, like place
you went, if you don't mind measking that too, like like, what
civilization kind of remindedyou of being in america, and
what one was so drasticallydifferent?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
um, probably abu dhabi was was like here.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yes, okay, yeah I can ?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I can uh vouch for that a little bit.
I was there for a little whileand then, what was the the other
?
Speaker 3 (08:01):
one, the most drastic change from what it's like here
.
Djibouti Dude.
I got to go to this Djiboutiplace, dude.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You can ask your wife later.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I'll ask if she's down for a Djibouti.
But I got to play my cards,right, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
It's a tight fit.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
So we're telling some funny military stories today
and kind of keeping it lightright, mm-hmm.
Would you like to share yourstory first, or would you like
me to go?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
How about I start?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Because this is the story of why I chose the Army to
begin with.
Okay, all right.
So there I was, a senior incollege LBN college and
basically my parents werequestioning me and saying what
are you going to do with therest of your life?
You know you're graduating fromcollege.
Have you thought about themilitary?
(08:58):
Apparently, I needed somediscipline or some shit.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
What was your major?
Uh, history and speechcommunications.
Okay, I really had no idea whatI was gonna do in my life I was
expecting general studies withan undergrad in art.
You know, or something like nope.
So I, um, my mom and dad said,have you thought about the
military?
And I, I said no, but what thehell.
(09:26):
So my friend Sarah and I droveto Jackson and in Jackson, in
the strip mall, they had theArmy, navy, air Force, marine,
coast Guard recruiting stations.
So they had all theserecruiting stations right in a
row recruiting stations.
So they had all theserecruiting stations right in a
(09:47):
row.
So my best friend and I go tothis mall and I walk, we walk by
, we walk all the way down pastall of the recruiting offices,
turn around, walk back, and thearmy had the hottest recruiters
recruiter.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
So that's why I walked into the army.
Are you being 100% serious?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
100% serious, that is so awesome.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
That sounds like something me and Brad would do.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, oh, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Like do you want to go to Domino's Pizza Hut or do
you want to go grab LittleCaesars?
It's like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Let's go see what the tail looks like.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Let's go see titties, yeah let's go see what one's
going to.
You know, give a little rise toour crazy bread.
You know, right, I totally getthat.
Rise to the crazy bread.
How old were you?
Oh, I was a senior in college,so like 21?
.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, 20.
Yeah, maybe 20.
I had just turned 22.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, is part of the reason that they hired you
because you told them thatyou're okay with it in your
booty, or did that not getbrought up yet?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
that didn't get brought up cool, cool.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Just one.
Okay, so that's literally howyou picked it yes and what mall
has four fucking?
It was in jackson, at thisjackson crossing strip mall huh,
dude, jackson has a lot oflife-changing decisions, dude,
like the biggest jail in, isn'tthat?
The biggest jail in Michigan isin Jackson, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
It's one of them.
I don't know if it's thelargest, because there's a large
one up at the UPE.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
We also have one in, I don't know, detroit.
Yeah, that one's probablypretty fucking big yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Oh God that's great.
So yeah, that's my my story tokick it off.
That's awesome, okay, so you?
Said air force, marines, armyand navy, navy there might have
been a coast guard there toorank the hotness that day for me
.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Okay, so we got Army at one who's two?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Oh gosh, I don't know if I could remember.
Well, no, it's probably not theCoast Guard, the Air Force.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, yeah, he flies that pretty boy, you know.
Yeah, like I used to playlacrosse and now I'm here kind
of guy.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yep, they got that flow, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah, guys like me and Brad can't compete with that
.
It sucks.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah, no, uh-uh.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
We're probably more like Coast Guard guys, you know,
and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
What about the Chair Force?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
The Chair Force.
Chair Force.
Is that what they call theCoast Guard?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
That's what they call the Air.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Force, no, no, you guys would never know the air
force?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
no, you guys would never know.
No military.
No, what the fuck is the chairforce?
I need to know now.
You can't have a secret, you'redoing it like you're oh yeah,
we're in the chair force yes, ohmy god, you haven't once said
anything about my surface.
Here I am grinding in thischair all the time we're past it
.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
We're past it.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I got a funny story for you about Camp Lejeune.
So this would be in the 90s.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Were you alive in the 90s?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yes, Jerk, I'm just kidding, but yeah yes, I was 89.
Okay, so yeah, oh yeah, I hadmy heyday in the 90s.
I was.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Oh yeah, Five.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah, if you average it.
So this is actually a storythat involves my uncle and my
dad, right, but it's been passeddown and I've heard this story
so many times, I find it fuckinggreat.
Yeah, so they're at CampLejeune, which is the biggest
marine base in the country.
Is that right?
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I think so, it's big.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Camp Pendleton is pretty.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
So I don't know, it was probably.
It could be back at that time.
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
So he went to the px store, which I didn't even know
what that was, so like Iactually called my dad and had
him run, run me through this sothe post exchange.
Yep and uh, he's like it's thesize of a fucking walmart like.
It's just giant like and youget discounts, whatever.
So my uncle goes in and heneeds a new bathing suit.
So he's with my dad and myuncle was a chaplain in the navy
(14:09):
so he was pretty high rankingand a lot of people knew him so
like I mean he had been in thenavy at that point, I don't know
, at least 10 years, but uh,everybody knew him.
So when they walk in you knowit's hey, dave, hey how are you?
Hey, what's up?
You know saluting himeverywhere he goes, like he was
kind of royalty.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Wrong hand.
But yes, hey, I'm getting there, all right.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
The chair force recruits from within, and I am
not through the training yet.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
All right, he's practicing with his other hand.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, it's, you know, I got it.
So they walk in.
They're saluting my uncle.
So they walk in, they'resaluting my uncle and my uncle's
trying on a bathing suit.
So my uncle shops around and mydad was like he probably talked
to 20 people.
He's there, everyone knew himand he goes into a changing room
.
He comes out and he looks at mydad.
(14:58):
He's like how does this bathingsuit look?
And my dad looks at him withouteven blinking, goes, turn
around, you know, let's see it.
He looks at him and says loudlyyou have an amazing ass for a
guy in your 40s.
And says it with a straightfucking face.
And mike turns around just withthis, like no, you didn't like
(15:21):
look at his face, because thatwas the chaplain.
So everyone in the store islooking at him like wanting to
kill him and finally, like myUncle, mike's like look, this is
my brother.
He's just breaking my balls,kind of thing.
And then everything was fine,but my dad's like it was so
tense in that moment Because,like there's people looking at
(15:43):
us like are you fucking kidding?
You do not know where you areright now.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Right Like kind of looks you lost your damn mind.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
So anytime I see my uncle or my dad sees my uncle,
it always gets brought up andit's always like you know, uncle
Mike, I don't mean to be thisguy, but you have an awesome ass
for a dude in your 60s.
Like I just got to.
Gotta be clear do you getcompliments?
Like that a lot, and every timeI say like he knows exactly
what I'm talking about so it'sjust such a funny story because
(16:11):
it was such an inappropriatetime to have a joke like that,
yeah, in in military, like thatwas a big like, was that don't
ask, don't tell, or was thatwell before that?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I would think that was before.
Yeah, it was big.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
No, no, so so the chaplain, having somebody look
at him dead serious and say youhave an amazing ass.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
In a store full of military people.
Yeah, that's a little awkward,but now you know where I get it
from.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah, I'm proud of that, you know, isn't that great
, that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Do?
That's awesome.
Oh, my god, that's awesome.
Uh, do you have a funny storythat you'd like to share?
It doesn't have to be funny,can be cool, can be whatever
about your experience, becauseI'm I'm definitely kind of crazy
interested in what you did allright.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
So when I was deployed to africa it was mainly
humanitarian work and when Iwas in uganda I was on a civil
affairs team out of I can't evenremember now, but I was on the
civil affairs team to do theircommunications and our commander
(17:17):
wanted to do a team buildinglike we were going to be there
for several months.
So one of the first fewweekends when we were in Uganda
we went whitewater rafting Atthe base of the Nile River, at
the base of the Nile where itstarted, in Jinja, uganda.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
So the civil affairs team Jinja, jinja, yes, what if
she was a Jinja that also likedit in Djibouti?
No, would she be a DjiboutiJinja?
Jinja, yes.
What if she was a Jinja thatalso liked it in Djibouti?
No, would she be a DjiboutiJinja, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yes, I see how that could be easily possible.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh my gosh.
So we decide to go on thiswhitewater rafting trip and we
get the little you know rundownof these rapids, blah, blah,
blah.
Some of them are pretty, youknow.
They're pretty big, severerapids.
Okay, we're good.
(18:28):
You know, one team, one fight,go hard, go go home, that type
of thing.
So I think there were seven ofus to start and one of the girls
had she couldn't do it, likeafter the first rapid.
She's like I'm done.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
So the kayaker helped , like get her to the so they
took her to shore, basically offthe raft.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Yeah, is kayaker a real thing?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Yes, kayaker it is now.
Oh, I thought you said kayactor.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
No, kayaker, that sounds like.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
I construct kayaks in Kayak Adventures.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Look at my business card bitch.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
You know, so we start whitewater rafting, having a
great time.
You know we flip several times.
We're all really having a goodtime, but you know it's getting
to the point now where we'regetting more out, because every
time you flip you have to useall upper body strength to pull
yourself back up into the boat.
(19:15):
So we're coming up on the lastreal major like this is the last
one of the excursion and theybriefed us don't try to fight it
, just your body will surface.
You know it's a pretty.
Basically in the united statesyou would not be allowed to
whitewater raft on these rapids.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
They're so severe really yes, so how fast do you
think that water's going?
If you had to guess, oh I haveno, so let me.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
so we get ready.
And we're like, yeah, this isthe last one.
We're like we got this, we gotthis.
So that was not a rapid, thatwas a fucking waterfall.
Oh shit, oh man.
So I remember just starting toflip.
I remember like just startingto flip and when I opened my
(20:06):
eyes I was so deep down in thewater that I saw no light from
the surface like none, and mybody was just thrashing from the
water.
It was so intense.
So I just remember, you know, Idid what I did and I couldn't
thrash anymore, so I just gaveup and my body, you know, I came
(20:30):
up about 500 yards from wherethe rapid was, I mean it just
pulled us so deep, so fast, sohard that sounds like a good
time.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
So, fast, so deep, so hard, yeah oh my God and the
waterfalls nearby.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
This is going great.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah the date went good, all right.
So we get all done right and weget to shore, everybody's
accounted for, everybody's alive, you know, a few bumps and
bruises.
Then we find out how dangerousthe water with, like, the
wildlife living in that area.
(21:14):
You know, we didn't know aboutthe possibility of crocodiles,
or maybe they were.
I can't remember if they werealligators or crocodiles but,
hippos and all of like just the-.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah, hippos are mean too.
Yeah, they will kill your house.
They swim fast too.
Did you see that one?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
where he like followed the boat oh yeah, he's
like in the wake and likefollowed him Like dude, fuck
that, it's something like 40miles an hour.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
They can swim underwater.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Yeah, it's insane and they'll kill you oh yeah, oh
yeah they're insanely yeah, theywarned us of that with the game
the hungry, hungry hippos.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yes, they did we would be those little balls yep,
yep, got it.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, are you saying you have little balls?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I am not, but I am saying that if I am next to a
hippo, I'm just going.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
I'm fucked.
Yes, oh my God, oh shit Wow.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
So yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
And then the other outcome of this and this is an
appropriate place to share it isfrom the whitewater rafting
trip.
We most likely all ingestedNile River water and we had to
get dewormed.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Oh no shit.
What does that mean it?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
means we had to take a couple of pills and watch her.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Did you actually like shit, worms?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
I never saw any in mine, but it was a precaution,
oh that's so cool and weird.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I'm interested.
Oh, and you know, fuck thosepeople for not putting up a sign
.
Water help, waterfall ahead.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
It's nine dollars see , that's what I'm saying.
Like it wouldn't, legally, theus government would not let you
whitewater rat.
I mean it would be at your ownrisk.
Like no guided tours like this.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Do you know how far the waterfall was?
No, If you had to guess likewith how many stories?
Speaker 3 (23:11):
like in a building right Like, would it have been
like 15 to 20 stories up, like,or.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Well, when you're going that fast through a rapid
yeah, you don't really know,it's adrenaline quick.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yep, you're going over a waterfall you don't give
a shit about how far you fall.
You just know that you'refalling Right, holy shit, and
you're thinking about gingerjabooties.
There's no way to really focusthat energy back.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I understand that oh good lord.
All I can think of is Without aPaddle.
Have you seen the movie Withouta Paddle?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
That reminds me of your tubing story.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Without a Paddle, Fuck dude.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Oh, that was so bad, but they're looking for DB
Cooper's treasure.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
In this movie they go on a canoe kind of thing and
they're all like we got this.
Then they go to a waterfall andthat shit hits the fan.
Yeah, yeah, they loseeverything, like all of the
stuff with their bone,everything their sanity.
You know that's when they likecuddle in a cave three dudes and
they're like you know balls aretouching and stuff like yeah
(24:14):
waterfalls lead to bad things.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
I'll take the worms so yeah, and we were all like
just so you're tore the fuck upfor three or four days after
because our bodies were justbeing, you know, thrown around
and jerked and it, yeah, andthis to pull ourselves up what's
(24:37):
the name of the girl thatstayed back?
Speaker 3 (24:38):
A fake name's?
Fine, I couldn't tell you.
We'll say her name's Carissa.
Okay, carissa.
Fucking hated on you guys sohard after that Like she was the
only one that didn't supportright.
Like instead of being like.
I feel so sorry for them, likethey're so bad.
It's like those fucking idiotswanted to go whitewater rafting
(24:59):
and I told them I'm fucking done, I'm fucking out of here, and
now they're shitting worms.
You get, you reap what you sow,bitch.
You know like oh, but shefucking took that to a new level
she had a legit phobia of wateroh no shit.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
That's awesome.
That's not a place to be andshe.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
She gave it a good shot, like she really, really
did, but she started havingpanic and she just couldn't yeah
which good for her for trying.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
But we understand, you know I mean it's shitty that
what happened and everything,but I bet it was just the
coolest experience oh yeah Imean, after everything was said
and done, you were out of thewater and away from the hippos
and crocodiles and shit.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yeah, I would have been like they named a virus
after this.
You know the Nile virus.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
You know like maybe we don't.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
The Nile beer.
Yeah, like you know, maybe wedon't Fuck.
Carissa was right, that fuckingbitch.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I live to tell the story, Right Right.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Dude, that's true, and that's a good thing.
And you found the treasure andyou got to pet a hippo.
When did I say that you did?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
You did.
I didn't pet a hippo.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Dude, that'd be so cool.
No, really, you wouldn't dothat if you could, no.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I'd pet a cheetah, I wouldn't go anywhere near a
hippo dude.
Yeah, I wouldn't either yeah,so when we had to get water from
the hippopotamus pond.
When we had to get water fromthe hippopotamus pond, we would
pull water out of this pond andthen dump a bunch of chemicals
in it so that we had water toshit shower shave with.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Hippos make their own ponds.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
No, well, it was like limit, it was the drought there
was.
It was a big enough to be ableto take a couple hundred gallons
of water out of to do laundryand to do the basics, so we had
a little bit of water, yeah, soI mean they took weapons when
they went to do that becausethose hippo hippos will come up
(27:01):
on you so fast out of that waterand I mean their jaw strength
is wicked intense.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Did anyone ever have to firewhen getting water?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
No, thankfully.
Yeah, right, I mean you couldsee a hippo across the pond.
Turn your back for 10, 15,maybe 20, not even 20 seconds
and turn back around and thathippo is right in front of you.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
So it's not good for people with short attention
spans, right, I would be fuckingmad.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, you would.
That hippo would gobble yourass up.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I'd turn to the guy next to me.
Like you know, you couldactually grow cinnamon crunch
toast on a tree.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Like yeah, here's how it works.
Dude Crunch cinnamon toast.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Cinnamon crunch toast , cinnamon toast crunch,
cinnamon toast crunch.
Holy fuck dude, unreal, it'sfun.
That's like me getting TacoBell wrong.
It's three things.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
It's Bell Taco.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Bell Taco.
There is a Del Taco and it'sfucking delicious, but no,
there's.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
What show is that from?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
What from?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
The Del Taco.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Oh disjointed.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
There's a Del Taco.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Oh yeah, if you ever see a taco is a taco.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Did we get off topic?
Yeah, it happens every time.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
If you ever see a Taco John's while you're out's
really good, oh yeah it's weird.
You get a taco and then you geta side item.
Like you're at like a normal,like like a, almost like a, like
a white castle, like theirsides are like fries or tots, or
get the fucking tots and get ataco and tell me you're not
having a great fucking day.
It is so good.
It is so good.
(28:42):
Those tots are awesome dude.
Yeah, they're called Double DTots.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Double D Tots.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Where were we?
Oh, Main Street has thosereally good.
Oh, those are good.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Loaded stuff, tot things.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yes, those are awesome.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
But if you are listening Main Street, get it to
fucking gather.
How do you not have chickenwings on your menu?
How do you not have a normalpizza and the burritos that I
order?
Every time they're fuckingfrozen.
If you could get it togetherand message me, that would be
awesome.
And why is it that every time Igo to Main Street, if there's
(29:22):
three, people in there, or 300people in there you wait the
same amount of time.
Explain that to me.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Yeah, the matawan one is horrible like oh really,
you'll go in there.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I don't think we've had an experience like that,
that bad.
I just don't I don't know, Idon't.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
I don't appreciate a place that calls himself a pub
and they can't make a fuckingbuffalo wing like.
It's stupid.
To me it's like going tocracker barrel where's the
omelet next time you go look forthe omelet.
It doesn't exist.
How the fuck do you not have anomelet on your menu and you're
a breakfast place?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
this is why you're closed out.
Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
I had a special order it last time.
It's like you had to put it ina scrambled eggs that were flat.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah see, I've walked into a cracker barrel, and
there's no barrels either, orany crackers dude.
It's like this is not.
There's no crackers Ever.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
I'm expecting a barrel full of townhouse and I
got nothing when I walked inthere, dude, you got no crackers
.
I crack.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Where your barrel at white boy.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Oh man, all right, all right.
Where your barrel at white boy?
Oh man, all right, all right,we're no, nope, nope, nope,
we're saying we're back okay.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
So back I've got a.
I've got a military story.
This is actually my dad, um.
He was stationed in germany andfor the.
I don't know how long he wasthere, but but he was stationed
and while he was arounddifferent places he ended up at
(30:47):
the Black Sea and there may have.
Every time I hear this storyfrom him, he always says there
may have been alcohol involved.
But he says he fell asleep nextto the Black Sea and he got so
sunburned and at the time Idon't know if he was dating my
(31:11):
mom or they'd just been married,but he sent her like skin, like
his peeled skin in the lovenote that he was mailing back to
my mom what the fuck it's dudeI wonder if he was on peyote.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Like that is some, that is some leonardo davinci
shit.
Yeah, like I'm gonna mail hermy ear.
Yeah, she's gonna love it butyeah, so he got.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I mean, he was just just toast like he got, so burnt
, I don't know if it was likeoff his arm or wherever, but
yeah, sent it back to her in ain a love note can you imagine
being so hammered that youthought a good decision was
peeling off your skin to send tothe well, this was later, you
know he got subvert, yeah, Imean, you know, back in the.
(32:04):
I mean this was whatever year,so I mean that's the only way
they had to communicate wasletters and cup phones and cup
phones.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Jen knows all about that she was communications in
49 countries.
All right, right, she set upthe African cup phone system is
very diverse.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
She set up the solo cups.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Oh, my God oh shit had I not set up a cup phone
through the jungle near theginge, we would have never made
it home, but I cup phoned mycommanding officer and I said
we've fallen through a waterfall, come get us.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
And he said, all right, you know yeah, oh shit
yeah I get yeah, every time thatI hear that story I'm just like
what the fuck, why would you dothat?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
but yeah, that's some dark shit, man Right.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, I don't think my mom necessarily appreciated
it.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Dude, that'd be like being so hammered, that like.
So.
I know that you couldn't makethe circumcision, but I wanted
to send you the foreskin.
Ew Thought.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Oh line crossed.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
That's all every episode.
Maybe you want it on the mantle.
I don't know the thinking ofyou just with that in the bottle
.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
We'll put it on Grandpa's urn and the card would
say and the card would say ohshit, I'm only here for the win.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
Enjoy the foreskin.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Oh my God, oh man win .
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Enjoy the foreskin oh , my god, oh man what other uh?
Do you have any other funny uhlike military stories or um, you
know, tell me, tell me aboutsomeone that you hated.
Tell me about someone you loved.
Tell me about more gingers,gingers gingers, ginger um, so
Gingers.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Ginger.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Ginger.
So when I was in Abu, Dhabi, Iwas let's see, I was newly sober
when we were in Abu Dhabi and Iwanted to start an AA meeting,
so I sat.
You know, I got approval andhad an AA meeting because there
(34:22):
was alcohol allowed on the base.
So you could have like threebeers a night.
But we also had a lot of peoplewho probably it was good for me
, it was good for my sobriety todo that.
So one like I got approval togo off base in Abu Dhabi to.
I found a Catholic church wherethere was like an in-person AA
(34:46):
meeting.
Yeah.
So there's this NCO who wantedto.
He volunteered to drive mebecause I couldn't.
Obviously, you know, being in aMuslim country, I couldn't
drive myself.
Basically, I needed I shouldhave had an escort.
So I mean, abu Dhabi isn't anextremely dangerous place and
(35:07):
there are a lot of Americansthere already.
So and we were allowed to goout once in a while.
We would have liberty so wecould go out into the city.
I got to take a trip to Dubai.
I got to do some pretty coolthings and see some cool things.
So I got approval to to go offbase for this meeting.
It was a friday, it wasn't, itwas night because it was dark.
(35:31):
Um, but we got lost because allof the sign we couldn't you
know like what the fuck are welooking at?
It looked like a bunch of youknow squiggly lines.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
It was all in Arabic.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
So we thought we could.
You know, we thought we'd beenout enough that we could get
there, because GPS wasn't athing at that point in time.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
There, I'd still be there.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Still be walking around looking at squiggly lines
brad brad knows from being inthat area that the the roadway
is not designed properly andwhen I was there several years
ago it was there were a lot ofunfinished sections.
Like, you would be driving andyou would have to get off
(36:21):
because the road just ended.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Why did you get off sooner?
Why did you read the sign?
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Because I can't wait to get back.
So we were and we had to beback by a certain time and we
totally missed the meeting.
So we're driving around in AbuDhabi, lost as shit, like I'm
starting to panic right.
I'm getting nervous because wedon't know where we're at, we
don't know how to get back.
(36:48):
I still have nightmares aboutthis shit, man.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
How long were you driving before you kind of hit
that moment Like how far was thetrip, I guess, how far was it
to the church?
It?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
was like 45 minutes or so To there.
To there, okay, and that wasallotting for a little bit of
like Fucky roads, right, so itlike driving around for the hour
and a half.
Coming up on two-hour mark, I'mgetting real nervous because
(37:18):
we're not seeing anything thatlooks familiar at this point
yeah and so, yeah, it was.
It was terrifying, and I stillhave nightmares about this that
terrify me just being so lostand like not knowing it, it was
(37:40):
yeah, and at this point, like wehad the little nokia, like tiny
phone, yeah, that was a suckyeah, that you had to like put
minutes on to be able to use it.
Yeah, so comms were, yeah, theprepaid thing, so it wasn't like
we could just pick up a cellphone and pull up a gps, you
know it.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Yeah, how long were you gone, total, before you got
back to the base?
Speaker 2 (38:05):
um close to four hours holy shit wow how did you
finally figure out where I don'teven remember really it it was?
I was just terrified becauseI'm in a foreign country, right
a?
Woman A woman in a Muslimcountry.
I just it was terrifying.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
Did you have to wear something on your face Like, did
you have to do that kind ofstuff while you were there?
Speaker 2 (38:28):
To go.
Yes, well, I didn't have tolike to go out by myself to walk
into the church.
It would be appropriate to putone on.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
okay, but um that required more respect, more
respectful, exactly, okay yep sothat's crazy I mean abu dhabi
at that point, and it's evenmore so now is very americanized
oh yeah I mean it very you justmade me feel awful about how
bad I am at directions right,like in, in being real, like
(39:01):
I'll be heading home to myparents and I'm getting off on
oakland.
It's like, what way you'regoing?
Do I go right or left?
What the fuck you know?
It's like I've been using thisexit since I've been able to
drive.
How do I?
not know, this right, yeah, dudeI would still be there
wandering looking for the churchlike no, they said, it was fine
35 years ago.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Wandering in the desert, mm-hmm.
So how many years now have youbeen sober?
Because that's cool.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
It was 15 in November .
Speaker 1 (39:33):
That's an accomplishment, that's awesome.
15 years sober that's amazing,thank you.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Incredible 15 years sober.
That's amazing.
Thank you.
That's incredibleCongratulations, thank you, keep
going, keep doing your thingyeah.
And I'll bet it was hard inthat moment to not want like
right.
The big picture that I keepthinking about of the story you
just told is here's a ladytrying to better herself and
also better her community and,uh, you know, and start an aa
(40:00):
group and and get in there andwhen I think about what would
trigger me, you know, oh yeah,it's, it would be a situation
like this, where it's hopeless,right so like that's.
What was crazy to me is that,like, here you are leaving to go
do something positive yeah andit has a negative trigger that
just killed that positive thingthat's nuts, that's so it's been
(40:25):
15 plus years of that that'scrazy that's nuts, that's
awesome I have.
I have a similar dream, I'm noteven kidding.
When I was younger, I had adream that I was in like japan,
china, I don't.
That's horrible.
I don't know what one, I reallydon't.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
But you were a kid and that was a while ago.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Yeah, and I was always like held at an airport
somewhere, being yelled at by amilitary general in Chinese.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Really.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
And he's like tiny and I know I can kick his ass,
but I have no idea the fuck he'ssaying.
I have no idea why I'm thereand I have no idea what I did.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
And I just like wake up, like so confused all the
time Like I'm trying to explainthis dude in English, I might as
well be barking, like you knowhe's looking at me like answer
my question, but he's asking meit all in Chinese.
I don't know, it was theweirdest fucking dream, but like
I don't know if that's like myfear, like knowing I could kick
someone's ass but, being likestrapped to something and then
(41:26):
not even being able tocommunicate.
Maybe that's what my fear is,but just kind of, I don't know,
made me think of that when youtold your story.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Maybe you just have a fear of strap-ons yeah, why
does it always come back to thestrap-ons with you too?
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
I was thinking about that too, but maybe we just
turned over a new leaf and nowwe're talking more about ginger
jabooties ginger jabootiesginger in jabooty yeah, I got
this hot girl.
Her name is Judy.
She's sexy With a ginger booty.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Oh shit.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Oh, I remember what that story was last night.
All right, it was about gettinghypnotized.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Oh, yeah, in a different country?
Oh yeah, do you have a deathwarrant, like, do you have a
death wish?
Let's go to fucking Dubai andlet's get hypnotized.
This is a.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Djibouti story Djibouti story no way.
So we had this in the military.
There's something called MWR.
It's kind of like they plannedwhen John Cena came to Abu Dhabi
to do his little tour orJillian Michaels in Iraq, I mean
.
So the MWR planned to have thishypnotist come in.
(42:44):
Yeah, and it was Friday orSaturday night and you could
have three.
You were allowed three beers.
Like the ration was, you gotthree beers if you wanted them a
night.
And so during the show thehypnotist wants, um, some
volunteers.
So I'm getting ready to leave.
(43:05):
I just met my um new civilcivil affairs team that I was
assigned to and they we weresitting at a table, the captain
bought us a beer and it was thefirst time meeting these people,
yeah, but I'm like, oh, I'llvolunteer so I go up to the
stage with five or six othervolunteers to get hypnotized
(43:28):
because I didn't think in frontof a crowd, in front of a few
hundred people.
so, because it was a friday orsaturday night, like you know,
we were having a beer, a 50degree beer, a very warm beer in
a very hot, hot country.
But so we're all up on stage.
I don't think there's any waythat my mind, I could be
(43:51):
hypnotized, right.
So he does his little spiel, weall get seated in these chairs
and he starts I really focus andhe starts doing his thing and I
was hypnotized because therewas video of it and one of the
(44:12):
things it was was um, act likeyou're feeling the most intense
cold you've ever felt in yourentire life and like shivering
and looking for you know, liketeeth chattering and our bodies
were moving, or act like it'sthe hottest hot you've ever
(44:34):
experienced.
Then it was Like the armyrecruiter.
Yes, it was like the armyrecruiter.
Yes, exactly Like the armyrecruiter.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
tying it back.
Tying it back, I like that.
Got you, got you.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Um, so the next one was the next one, which is the
most horrific thing, was actlike you are experiencing the
most pleasure of your entirelife.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
No, Did you call the guy daddy Like yes, daddy.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
What was that movie with the O, o O?
Speaker 3 (45:13):
face Office Space.
Yes, thank you.
Things go well.
Tonight I might be showing hermy O face.
Yes, you know what I'm talkingabout.
Yes, thank you.
Things go well tonight might beshowing her my whole face.
Yes, you know what I'm talkingabout Ow ow.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
So there I am basically having.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Or Stifler.
Stifler did that too, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Acting like I'm having an orgasm on stage,
because that's the most intensepleasure.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Why did you sign up for this?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
I didn't think it was going to be like that.
I thought they might have usclucking like some chickens or
some shit like that.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Even that's bad Right .
Speaker 2 (45:44):
So I like come to Literally, literally.
That's awesome.
You just wow, so I opened myeyes, oh God.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
And my brand new captain and team that I just met
, that I'm going out on amission with for a few months,
saw me do this.
You must have gotten somenumbers.
That night Saw your O-face.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Oh, and I didn't believe it.
That's awesome.
I legit did not believe that.
I did any of no, I had no clue,and then they showed me the
video snippets of it.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
Did you call the hypnotherapist?
Speaker 2 (46:37):
I was so embarrassed Did you call him daddynos the
hypnotherapist.
I was so embarrassed did youcall him daddy I.
I was mortified like oh it wasit was it was awful.
Wow, I can't but I had the besttime with those people.
I mean, I had we had such asuccessful mission in Uganda.
It was amazing.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
No waterfalls.
Well, that's where we, oh, isthis after?
Or?
Speaker 2 (47:02):
before Before.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
You didn't even know.
Okay so if you could go backright, you have to do one again.
Would you whitewater raft,knowing that you're going to
fall off a fucking waterfall andit's going to be horrible, or
would you let the dude make youcome on stage again?
You have to do one.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
It would be the waterfall.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Yeah, yeah, I can see how embarrassing, that is.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
I'm a habitual line stepper.
I don't like what's up here,you know, so I would never sign
up for that, because I would bethe one that would say weird
shit like oh fuck, oh fuck, yeah, you like that bitch.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
You, yeah, yeah, ginger booty, ginger booty you
know, yeah, no, I uh, yeah it.
It was terrifying, but that wasa great group of people.
Unfortunately a few of themgave their life for our country.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Wow, oh no shit.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Oh, really Not during that time, but after, and other
deployments other oh that's.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
That's the worst, yep , you know it's, that's so worst
.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Yep, you know it's.
That's so sad.
Yeah, is it because they didn'twant it in Djibouti Come?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
on.
I'm messing, I'm messing, I'mmessing.
That's me hitting you.
Speaker 3 (48:31):
Yeah, and I deserve it.
So I wrote a poem about this.
Would you like to hear it?
Sure, this is called A Poem IWrote by Eric Schwab.
Oh, god damn it, not again.
Man, fuck, we gotta get thebeep out again.
(48:53):
Yep, we gotta beep it.
Hey girl, I know that this isfruity and I know you're active
duty.
I only have one question,please don't sue me.
Can I put it in Jabooty?
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Did you just come up with that in like the last 40
minutes?
Speaker 3 (49:13):
It's literally called a poem I wrote by Eric Mee.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
But this right here is why I will never get
hypnotized, like when the guy'slike hey, I'll do it, you know,
you'll get some free cinnamontoast crunch, nailed it.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
You'll also get a free hot and ready, you know,
grown fresh from our garden.
I wouldn'tailed it.
You'll also get a free hot andready grown fresh from our
garden.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
I wouldn't do it.
Yeah, where were we?
I?
Speaker 3 (49:45):
think it's time for the top five?
I think so too.
Do you need a?
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Okay, so tonight's top five is the worst thing that
you could tell your drillsergeant or your commanding
officer, or brand new drillsergeant.
Oh yeah, or brand newcommanding officer.
You can show them your oak faceDaddy.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Oh shit, oh my God.
So would you like to go firstor second, Brad, and we are
going to go ahead and let Jenhave a pass on this top five.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
Well, I want to give one.
Okay, I like that.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
But I also want you to kind of explain this.
What would happen if this was?
Said you know, just like whatyou think the response would be
would be kind of a gold thingfor us.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Yep, okay, I'll go first, okay, okay.
So my number one is don't ask,don't tell a thing, because
Walker's hammer is reallyswinging my way, oh my.
Speaker 3 (50:53):
God dude His meat sword.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Oh dude, his meat soared.
Oh shit, oh shit is right.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
That's bad.
Did you get fired that day?
Speaker 2 (51:08):
But here's the thing you can't really get fired.
You've got to fuck up enoughtimes where they kick you out,
but it's not like you fuck up sobad and you're done.
That day they've got to writeyou up, and write you up, and
write you up, and then yeah, butdon't you have to go through
shit like if you were to saysomething like that oh, you
(51:31):
wouldn't walk or move your armsfor at least two weeks, like
you'd be doing nonstop front bagO's, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
Nonstop what's?
A front bag O Laptop.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
So front is you're doing push-ups, Back you do
flutter kicks and then go is youstart running.
And you do each one of thosethings until they decide to say
the next.
So I say front, you get on,start doing pushups until I say
(52:04):
back.
And that could be 30 seconds,that could be three days.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
So they don't like cockiness.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
No, okay, my number two.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
Well, okay, hold up, they don't like cockiness Back
in the day when I was there,like in the military, because
I've been out 10 plus years nowit's different than it is today.
I want to throw that caveat outthere, because it is very
different today with what istolerated and accepted.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
Yeah, that's good, that's a good thing.
Right In your opinion, likethat it is that way accepted.
Yeah, that's good.
So Is it?
That's a?
That's a good thing, right Inyour opinion?
Like that, it's that, it isthat way now, no, oh, I don't, I
was so supportive I realized Igot to put the pom poms down.
How dare they?
Speaker 2 (52:49):
I, just I.
You know the things like thetrying to make it more.
Speaker 3 (52:59):
Like, can you be.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Like, can you like switch a gender, like while
you're in the military, that'sokay.
No, I don't.
I don't know about any of thatokay except for what I you know
news and stuff.
But um, news sucks, it's.
It was, you know, 10, 12, 14,even 20 years ago.
It was much more physicallydemanding without all of the
sunshine and rainbows.
Speaker 3 (53:22):
Okay, so it's a participation trophy kind of
place now.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
No, I wouldn't say that, because less than 1% of
the American population isserving or has served in the
military.
So you know, but it's I don'tthink DE think dei helped it, if
I can say that yeah okay I likeit like, let's not put out a oh
(53:48):
you gotta, you gotta, take thatout.
I can't say that I'll say it.
Speaker 3 (53:52):
So what you're saying is you don't want to have a
bunch of pussies.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
Okay, like I, like pig yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:58):
Yeah, number two.
Anyway, walker was swinging hishammer around driving rail
spikes, and so we took the trainto your daughter's house.
Speaker 3 (54:10):
Oh, oh my God, she's still talking about a dude's
beat sword.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
Here's the thing.
You would have got half of thatout before you were just Cold
cocked.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yeah, really Boot up your ass, yeah, my.
Speaker 1 (54:29):
God.
Number three you have such anego, you think, because you say
it, we're just going to do it ohmy god yes, yes I do pound your
face.
Yeah, pound your face, that'sthat could go in a different way
(54:49):
like that wouldn't work with mylast boss, dude pound your face
.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
No, no, you have such an ego, ego, oh, yeah, yeah
he's a fucking dick.
Speaker 1 (55:02):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (55:04):
Not current boss.
Speaker 1 (55:06):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (55:07):
From the last place.
Dad did not hug him much.
What Dad did not hug him muchas a kid he's a fucking angry
human being All the fucking timeI'm sorry it's okay that's not
fun I'm not there anymore
Speaker 1 (55:23):
anyways, number four number four if assholes were
airplanes, you'd be a jumbo jet,oh my god, yeah, that's not as
bad as the yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
But yeah, I'm trying to think.
Speaker 3 (55:37):
If I had to like dude .
That person's getting whipped.
That person's getting the baton.
You know Like I'm gonna fuckingfuck them up.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Yeah, and mine, I think.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
Number five.
Okay, mambo, mambo, number five.
Speaker 1 (55:55):
I got you the special 152 count box of crayons.
Oh my God, I don't know how thehell that ever started with
Marines.
I wish I did.
But With the crayons, yeah.
They always talk about, theyjoke about eating crayons.
Even my brother-in-law, he wasa Marine and he jokes about
eating crayons.
Speaker 3 (56:16):
Holy fuck, there's a dog in here.
That's so cool.
What's up, buddy?
Oh my God.
So I think that that was agreat top five, and I think that
you'd be doing some physicallabor, oh yeah.
I think that with mine youmight get shot.
Speaker 1 (56:32):
I think I'd be dead from like overworking.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
You ready for mine?
It's about to be bad bud.
Did you go 1 to 5 or 5 to 1?
Speaker 1 (56:43):
I did 1 to 5, but they're in no particular order.
This is just as they came to myhead.
Speaker 3 (56:49):
Okay, sir, so this would be Drill Sergeant.
I'm going to specify DrillSergeant, sir.
Why do you remind me of my ex?
Oh yeah, you're loud, demandingand leave me unsatisfied.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
You might get a chuckle out of the other drill
sergeants, but he's about tofuck your ass up.
Oh yeah, dude.
Speaker 3 (57:11):
Pistol whipped.
That's what I'm going for.
Speaker 2 (57:14):
It's a good thing drill sergeants don't have
weapons on them.
Speaker 3 (57:16):
I'm looking for that honorable discharge.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
That would be so dishonorable.
Speaker 3 (57:21):
Honorable discharge, but if he pistol whips me, am I
good.
Speaker 1 (57:27):
I don't think you're going to survive.
Speaker 3 (57:29):
I'm fine with eating food through a straw but what
I'm saying is Okay.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
You know, it would be epic if we actually had drill
sergeants that were listening.
That would do that so greatlike this is what I would have
done if I'd heard that you readyfor number two?
Speaker 3 (57:49):
yeah, damn, sir.
If you keep riding my ass likethis, at least buy me a fucking
drink first.
Number three oh my god, that'sso bad.
(58:11):
I'm gonna say it, though, forsomeone who's in charge you sure
look like you're used to beingon your knees.
Oh, damn yeah.
These are cold though I likethese.
Speaker 1 (58:24):
Oh shit, I can yeah.
Speaker 2 (58:27):
Your eyelashes would hurt.
Speaker 3 (58:30):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (58:33):
You'd get the dog piss smoked out of you.
Speaker 3 (58:35):
Oh yeah, your toenails would.
Yeah, They'd rip your nails off.
Speaker 2 (58:39):
No From running or doing whatever you wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (58:44):
What if you just sat down Indian style?
What do they do?
Just sat down Indian style andcompletely ignored them and just
said like namaste, what wouldhappen?
Speaker 2 (58:54):
Not good things.
Speaker 3 (58:56):
Like can they physically?
Like fuck you up.
No, then I'm good.
Speaker 1 (59:02):
Yeah, yeah, for a little while, for like five
minutes yeah.
Speaker 3 (59:05):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (59:07):
Because if you want to eat?
Sleep shower?
Change your underwear, yeah.
Speaker 3 (59:13):
Yeah, okay, piggybacking off that number
four.
Are we allowed to?
So this would be to your newhigh-ranking person that you
report to, not Darrell Sargent,but like you're in his office
asking him Sir, are we allowedto fuck higher-ranking officials
(59:34):
?
I would really like to show hermy honorable discharge.
Speaker 1 (59:44):
No comment Pretty clever though, oh my God Pretty
clever, oh shit, could youimagine.
Speaker 3 (59:52):
Does that person get thrown out of that office?
No, because they can't touchyou.
That's great.
Speaker 2 (59:59):
Well, mps can touch touch you, that's great.
Well, mps can touch you likecops, you're so fucked, but good
one right.
Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
Would it have been better if I showed her my
dishonorable discharge or saidsomething like I want to
honorably discharge on her face?
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
I mean you know what.
Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
You're digging up fucking all of it, you're lucky,
I can't hit you.
Wait, I thought that wasn'tthat bad.
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying tocross the line, I just thought
that was great.
It is a discharge.
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Number five.
Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Number five If common sense were fuel, you wouldn't
have enough to power a fuckingflashlight.
Oh shit Wow.
You're probably dying for thatone.
Did you have any that didn'tmake it.
Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
No, I didn't, I did Hold on Hold, on Hold on what
was your one?
Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
Oh yeah, the one conscientious objector to walk
into your commander's officethree or four days before a
deployment and say I'm aconscientious objector, I'm not
deploying oh shit, oh, whatwould they have done?
Oh, I saw it oh really yeah, itwas, yeah they.
(01:01:21):
What happened?
He got uh kicked, kicked outnever, never heard from again oh
no, I heard from him again whenI moved here.
He's got a tree service in thearea really I think I know who
you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (01:01:39):
Yep, is he a little wild?
Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
oh, I don't know okay , okay, but yeah um, it's the
same guy that at fort bragg's,yeah no shit wow wait, what
happened?
What same guy we were gettingready to deploy, like we were
packing our bags to deploy, andthis kid, 18, 19 years he must
(01:02:01):
have been 19, said.
I'm a conscientious objector, Iwill not deploy.
Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
He was conscious.
Yeah, wow, wow yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
I'd hit him, so yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
He'd hit him with the honorable discharge yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Yeah, what about this for a question?
Does the military still have adon't ask, don't tell policy?
Because these dudes are prettyfucking hot man.
Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
I think you can say that stuff now.
Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
It'd be so weird.
I'd salute you, but I'm alreadystanding at attention, if you
know what I mean.
If I do you a favor and dropdown and give you 20, will you
do me a favor and drop dead?
Oh, damn, oh my gosh.
Or to a drill sergeant?
Is the weather going to getcolder?
(01:02:52):
My thong is riding my ass andit's really making it hard
You've just made.
Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
so many stories come to mind.
Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
You'll have to do another salute service in the
future so I can share some moreof my crazy, fucked up shit that
I've done.
Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
You're giving an order like you have something to
prove.
Are you compensating forsomething, sir?
Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
Oh Jesus to prove.
Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
Are you compensating for something, sir?
Oh jesus, at this point, justfuck me.
At least I'd be satisfied foronce okay, that's enough of
those oh wow, all right, I thinkthat, uh, we nailed it.
Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
This is a lot of fun guys I did, I, you have fun.
Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
I did, I did.
I'm so glad.
Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
I was nervous at first.
Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to
kind of explain this to us.
And yes, we had some fun, wehad some laughs, but at the end
of the day we give a shit aboutour military.
Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
We really do.
Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
And whether or not you do it doesn't matter.
But, like this whole part ofthe show is just kind of to talk
about it, glorify it a littlebit and also have some fun.
But we want everybody to knowthat we're very much
pro-military.
Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
Oh, absolutely 100%.
Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
I'm two things always I'm pro-military and I'm down
to put it in Djibouti.
Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
I'm pro-military and I'm down to put it in Djibouti
and, on that note, super funnight guys.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
Thank you for coming on the show, thank you for your
service, thank you for allyou've done and congratulations
on 15 years sober.
Thank you, that is so cool,sober.
Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
Thank you.
Thank you, that is so cool yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
And you got lost in a country with a bunch of signs
that just look like hashtags,you know, like hashtag squiggly
star.
This is where we turn.
Yeah, pretty much, that wouldhave been fucked oh man.
Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
Well, all right.
Well, thanks everybody forlistening.
I really hope you enjoyed theshow.
If you or someone you know arein the military, thank you for
your service, yep.
Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
What was?
And piggybacking off of respect, I want to let all our
listeners know that our nextepisode, oddly enough, is a 420
guide.
So it is a guide to a wonderful420.
Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
We'll be back with more.
Oh doodle pies.
Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Oh yeah, oh fuck.
Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
We can't get into that yet.
Oh God, we got to save thatstuff, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
I could talk about food forever, yeah, especially
on 420.
It's Easter this year FYI ohyeah, that's true Is this year.
Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
FYI oh yeah, that's true, Is it?
Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
Yeah, it is 420 is on Easter Dude.
I have a new goal.
I want to get high with theEaster bunny, the actual one.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
Oh man, all right everybody, thanks for listening.
Appreciate you guys, take careand we'll catch you on the next
episode If you're lucky.
All right, peace.
Welcome to the Roud and Loudy podcast.
This is episode 11, and tonightwe have a special show.
We are doing Salute to ServiceAll our service members, all our
troops that are out thereprotecting us every day.
We salute you.
We want you to know that we are.
We're here for you.
(00:40):
We got a special guest tonight.
We're here for you.
We got a special guest tonight.
Her name is Jen and she was inthe Army and she's going to tell
us some stories and she's gotsome really cool things going on
.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Eric, what do you got for us?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So happy for you to ask that.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Brian and I also want to let all the military men
know out there that they canstill keep their hats on, then
they can, you know, during thenational anthem.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You know what I mean Me and Brad should take it off,
but while you're listening, youcan leave it on because you're
the shit today.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
We also want to let you know that if you ever want
to get in touch with the show,it is RowdenLoudy at gmailcom.
Just like it's spelled.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Just like it's spelled.
Just like it's spelled.
Just like it's fucking spelledR-O-W-D-A-N-D-L-O-U-D-Y at
gmailcom.
Just like it's spelled.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Oh my God.
So how are you doing today, jen?
I'm great.
How are you?
I am fantastic.
So you served in the Army.
Yes, sir, how are you, I amfantastic.
So you served in the Army?
Yes, sir, how many years?
Nine, wow.
Thank you so much for yourservice.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
It was my honor and privilege.
What was your role?
So I was in the Signal Corpsand I was a signal support
system specialist.
So I would hook up differentmethods of communication from
remote locations across theglobe.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Awesome Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
That's a really important role.
Yes, I mean think before we hadcell phones, right, Like what
the fuck did the military do?
Like, do they have cup phones?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I don't think they had cup phones.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
He wasn't alive when phones were still connected to
the walls yes, I was, yes, I was.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I lived through all that shit.
It was traumatic.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You know the guy with the phone, they had the 100
foot cord dude.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
They used to have phones in cars and it was a
dollar a minute yeah, I know mymom and dad had one it had a
cord.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
It did and dad had one, had a cord it did, it did
and it plugged into thecigarette lighter.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
That's so cool.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Like if we can do that, why can't we put a popcorn
maker in there, right, right?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Well, they're putting coolers in cars now.
They have been for a while Likebuilt-in coolers.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Huh, I'm just saying if you can hook up a
communication system in thefucking jungle, you can probably
help me with this dream of apopcorn maker and I like that
and grow sour patch kids for youoh yeah you would never leave
yeah, the other day jen was outuh gardening and I was talking
to her and I was like you know,I bet there's not a lot of guys
(03:19):
that are into this, huh, andshe's like probably not, and I
was like you know, I think it'sthe product.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
If we could grow Sour Patch Kids Dude, if we could
grow Sour Patch Kids and.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Gorditas Hot and Ready's Gorditas.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
And then, like earlier, we were talking about
the cinnamon crunch toast.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Cinnamon toast crunch Cinnamon crunch toast.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
The cinnamon toast crunch tree with extra crunch
dust.
Yeah, Dude, that would be thefunniest 60 minutes ever Like.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I'm Dan.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Rather Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
tick.
Sudden uptick of men likinggardening coming to you after
tonight, right.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
So when you say that you're a signal support
specialist, did you, like you,have a team with you, or was it
just you?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
No, always on a team, okay.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Always.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Big, small, I mean when we were in garrison, which
means basically not deployedpart of a battalion, part of a
battalion.
When I was deployed, same thing, except when I was in Africa.
I was with civil affairs teamsfor different missions
(04:31):
throughout Africa.
So it was just me, but with adifferent team.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
You've probably heard some shit though Mm-hmm, that's
wild, that's awesome.
How many different countrieshave you been to?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
42.
, 42.
, 42.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I'm so glad that I got this proof now because you
know earlier I was tellingeveryone that I tell people that
you're a badass right, I alwayslead with.
She's been to 26 countries andI've been fucking blown up.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Now, mind you think about.
You know, some of those werejust on the ground in the
airport, but I still count thatas being in a country, I mean in
and out.
Because I mean, if that wasn'tthe case, then it is probably
more like 26 or 28.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I'm still going to go up you know You're still going
to go with 42.
Yeah, I'm going to go with 42.
Do what you want man, it's gota nice ring to it.
But with you being in a bunchof random countries, I'm just
going to rapid fire ask you acouple questions real quick.
Okay, worst food?
What country?
Worst food?
Like the worst?
Like it just like high schoolcafeteria.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
It was very like.
I don't know, it was just blah.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
When I was in Africa that was a Air Force base, no
Navy base Camp Lemigny inDjibouti.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yes, I said Djibouti, Djibouti, camp Lemonnier in
Djibouti.
Yes, I said Djibouti, djibouti.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Djibouti.
If you take a map, like one ofthe flat map of the world or the
earth, and you fold it in half,djibouti is right on that ass,
crack, right on the crack.
That goes it's.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
America's ass crack.
They could have a whole touristdestination with that America's
ass crack or my wife likes itin Djibouti Would be a hilarious
shirt.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Oh, I'm sure they're there.
Well, maybe not though, because, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
But yeah, nicest people.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Uganda.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Uganda Uganda.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Favorite food.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah, favorite food, favorite other country's food
that you liked.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Indian Really Mm-hmm, I really grew.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
What was it about Indian food?
Because I've had Indian food.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
thai've had Indian food.
Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, I'msorry, thai, it was.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Thai, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I was about to ask a bunch of Indian questions.
No, it was Thai, like the guyin the cupboard, or?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
It was Thai because the spice I loved the spice.
At that point in my life Icouldn't eat things that were
hot enough Huh.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
If only they had tie in Djibouti, you could tie those
in.
You know, it all makes sense.
I like getting tied up inDjibouti, okay, okay um, what
was the most, uh, what was theclosest to America, like place
you went, if you don't mind measking that too, like like, what
civilization kind of remindedyou of being in america, and
what one was so drasticallydifferent?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
um, probably abu dhabi was was like here.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yes, okay, yeah I can ?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I can uh vouch for that a little bit.
I was there for a little whileand then, what was the the other
?
Speaker 3 (08:01):
one, the most drastic change from what it's like here
.
Djibouti Dude.
I got to go to this Djiboutiplace, dude.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You can ask your wife later.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I'll ask if she's down for a Djibouti.
But I got to play my cards,right, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
It's a tight fit.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
So we're telling some funny military stories today
and kind of keeping it lightright, mm-hmm.
Would you like to share yourstory first, or would you like
me to go?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
How about I start?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Because this is the story of why I chose the Army to
begin with.
Okay, all right.
So there I was, a senior incollege LBN college and
basically my parents werequestioning me and saying what
are you going to do with therest of your life?
You know you're graduating fromcollege.
Have you thought about themilitary?
(08:58):
Apparently, I needed somediscipline or some shit.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
What was your major?
Uh, history and speechcommunications.
Okay, I really had no idea whatI was gonna do in my life I was
expecting general studies withan undergrad in art.
You know, or something like nope.
So I, um, my mom and dad said,have you thought about the
military?
And I, I said no, but what thehell.
(09:26):
So my friend Sarah and I droveto Jackson and in Jackson, in
the strip mall, they had theArmy, navy, air Force, marine,
coast Guard recruiting stations.
So they had all theserecruiting stations right in a
row recruiting stations.
So they had all theserecruiting stations right in a
(09:47):
row.
So my best friend and I go tothis mall and I walk, we walk by
, we walk all the way down pastall of the recruiting offices,
turn around, walk back, and thearmy had the hottest recruiters
recruiter.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
So that's why I walked into the army.
Are you being 100% serious?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
100% serious, that is so awesome.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
That sounds like something me and Brad would do.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, oh, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Like do you want to go to Domino's Pizza Hut or do
you want to go grab LittleCaesars?
It's like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Let's go see what the tail looks like.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Let's go see titties, yeah let's go see what one's
going to.
You know, give a little rise toour crazy bread.
You know, right, I totally getthat.
Rise to the crazy bread.
How old were you?
Oh, I was a senior in college,so like 21?
.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, 20.
Yeah, maybe 20.
I had just turned 22.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, is part of the reason that they hired you
because you told them thatyou're okay with it in your
booty, or did that not getbrought up yet?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
that didn't get brought up cool, cool.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Just one.
Okay, so that's literally howyou picked it yes and what mall
has four fucking?
It was in jackson, at thisjackson crossing strip mall huh,
dude, jackson has a lot oflife-changing decisions, dude,
like the biggest jail in, isn'tthat?
The biggest jail in Michigan isin Jackson, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
It's one of them.
I don't know if it's thelargest, because there's a large
one up at the UPE.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
We also have one in, I don't know, detroit.
Yeah, that one's probablypretty fucking big yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Oh God that's great.
So yeah, that's my my story tokick it off.
That's awesome, okay, so you?
Said air force, marines, armyand navy, navy there might have
been a coast guard there toorank the hotness that day for me
.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Okay, so we got Army at one who's two?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Oh gosh, I don't know if I could remember.
Well, no, it's probably not theCoast Guard, the Air Force.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, yeah, he flies that pretty boy, you know.
Yeah, like I used to playlacrosse and now I'm here kind
of guy.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yep, they got that flow, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah, guys like me and Brad can't compete with that
.
It sucks.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah, no, uh-uh.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
We're probably more like Coast Guard guys, you know,
and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
What about the Chair Force?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
The Chair Force.
Chair Force.
Is that what they call theCoast Guard?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
That's what they call the Air.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Force, no, no, you guys would never know the air
force?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
no, you guys would never know.
No military.
No, what the fuck is the chairforce?
I need to know now.
You can't have a secret, you'redoing it like you're oh yeah,
we're in the chair force yes, ohmy god, you haven't once said
anything about my surface.
Here I am grinding in thischair all the time we're past it
.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
We're past it.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I got a funny story for you about Camp Lejeune.
So this would be in the 90s.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Were you alive in the 90s?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yes, Jerk, I'm just kidding, but yeah yes, I was 89.
Okay, so yeah, oh yeah, I hadmy heyday in the 90s.
I was.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Oh yeah, Five.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah, if you average it.
So this is actually a storythat involves my uncle and my
dad, right, but it's been passeddown and I've heard this story
so many times, I find it fuckinggreat.
Yeah, so they're at CampLejeune, which is the biggest
marine base in the country.
Is that right?
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I think so, it's big.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Camp Pendleton is pretty.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
So I don't know, it was probably.
It could be back at that time.
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
So he went to the px store, which I didn't even know
what that was, so like Iactually called my dad and had
him run, run me through this sothe post exchange.
Yep and uh, he's like it's thesize of a fucking walmart like.
It's just giant like and youget discounts, whatever.
So my uncle goes in and heneeds a new bathing suit.
So he's with my dad and myuncle was a chaplain in the navy
(14:09):
so he was pretty high rankingand a lot of people knew him so
like I mean he had been in thenavy at that point, I don't know
, at least 10 years, but uh,everybody knew him.
So when they walk in you knowit's hey, dave, hey how are you?
Hey, what's up?
You know saluting himeverywhere he goes, like he was
kind of royalty.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Wrong hand.
But yes, hey, I'm getting there, all right.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
The chair force recruits from within, and I am
not through the training yet.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
All right, he's practicing with his other hand.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, it's, you know, I got it.
So they walk in.
They're saluting my uncle.
So they walk in, they'resaluting my uncle and my uncle's
trying on a bathing suit.
So my uncle shops around and mydad was like he probably talked
to 20 people.
He's there, everyone knew himand he goes into a changing room
.
He comes out and he looks at mydad.
(14:58):
He's like how does this bathingsuit look?
And my dad looks at him withouteven blinking, goes, turn
around, you know, let's see it.
He looks at him and says loudlyyou have an amazing ass for a
guy in your 40s.
And says it with a straightfucking face.
And mike turns around just withthis, like no, you didn't like
(15:21):
look at his face, because thatwas the chaplain.
So everyone in the store islooking at him like wanting to
kill him and finally, like myUncle, mike's like look, this is
my brother.
He's just breaking my balls,kind of thing.
And then everything was fine,but my dad's like it was so
tense in that moment Because,like there's people looking at
(15:43):
us like are you fucking kidding?
You do not know where you areright now.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Right Like kind of looks you lost your damn mind.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
So anytime I see my uncle or my dad sees my uncle,
it always gets brought up andit's always like you know, uncle
Mike, I don't mean to be thisguy, but you have an awesome ass
for a dude in your 60s.
Like I just got to.
Gotta be clear do you getcompliments?
Like that a lot, and every timeI say like he knows exactly
what I'm talking about so it'sjust such a funny story because
(16:11):
it was such an inappropriatetime to have a joke like that,
yeah, in in military, like thatwas a big like, was that don't
ask, don't tell, or was thatwell before that?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I would think that was before.
Yeah, it was big.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
No, no, so so the chaplain, having somebody look
at him dead serious and say youhave an amazing ass.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
In a store full of military people.
Yeah, that's a little awkward,but now you know where I get it
from.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah, I'm proud of that, you know, isn't that great
, that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Do?
That's awesome.
Oh, my god, that's awesome.
Uh, do you have a funny storythat you'd like to share?
It doesn't have to be funny,can be cool, can be whatever
about your experience, becauseI'm I'm definitely kind of crazy
interested in what you did allright.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
So when I was deployed to africa it was mainly
humanitarian work and when Iwas in uganda I was on a civil
affairs team out of I can't evenremember now, but I was on the
civil affairs team to do theircommunications and our commander
(17:17):
wanted to do a team buildinglike we were going to be there
for several months.
So one of the first fewweekends when we were in Uganda
we went whitewater rafting Atthe base of the Nile River, at
the base of the Nile where itstarted, in Jinja, uganda.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
So the civil affairs team Jinja, jinja, yes, what if
she was a Jinja that also likedit in Djibouti?
No, would she be a DjiboutiJinja?
Jinja, yes.
What if she was a Jinja thatalso liked it in Djibouti?
No, would she be a DjiboutiJinja, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yes, I see how that could be easily possible.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh my gosh.
So we decide to go on thiswhitewater rafting trip and we
get the little you know rundownof these rapids, blah, blah,
blah.
Some of them are pretty, youknow.
They're pretty big, severerapids.
Okay, we're good.
(18:28):
You know, one team, one fight,go hard, go go home, that type
of thing.
So I think there were seven ofus to start and one of the girls
had she couldn't do it, likeafter the first rapid.
She's like I'm done.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
So the kayaker helped , like get her to the so they
took her to shore, basically offthe raft.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Yeah, is kayaker a real thing?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Yes, kayaker it is now.
Oh, I thought you said kayactor.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
No, kayaker, that sounds like.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
I construct kayaks in Kayak Adventures.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Look at my business card bitch.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
You know, so we start whitewater rafting, having a
great time.
You know we flip several times.
We're all really having a goodtime, but you know it's getting
to the point now where we'regetting more out, because every
time you flip you have to useall upper body strength to pull
yourself back up into the boat.
(19:15):
So we're coming up on the lastreal major like this is the last
one of the excursion and theybriefed us don't try to fight it
, just your body will surface.
You know it's a pretty.
Basically in the united statesyou would not be allowed to
whitewater raft on these rapids.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
They're so severe really yes, so how fast do you
think that water's going?
If you had to guess, oh I haveno, so let me.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
so we get ready.
And we're like, yeah, this isthe last one.
We're like we got this, we gotthis.
So that was not a rapid, thatwas a fucking waterfall.
Oh shit, oh man.
So I remember just starting toflip.
I remember like just startingto flip and when I opened my
(20:06):
eyes I was so deep down in thewater that I saw no light from
the surface like none, and mybody was just thrashing from the
water.
It was so intense.
So I just remember, you know, Idid what I did and I couldn't
thrash anymore, so I just gaveup and my body, you know, I came
(20:30):
up about 500 yards from wherethe rapid was, I mean it just
pulled us so deep, so fast, sohard that sounds like a good
time.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
So, fast, so deep, so hard, yeah oh my God and the
waterfalls nearby.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
This is going great.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah the date went good, all right.
So we get all done right and weget to shore, everybody's
accounted for, everybody's alive, you know, a few bumps and
bruises.
Then we find out how dangerousthe water with, like, the
wildlife living in that area.
(21:14):
You know, we didn't know aboutthe possibility of crocodiles,
or maybe they were.
I can't remember if they werealligators or crocodiles but,
hippos and all of like just the-.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah, hippos are mean too.
Yeah, they will kill your house.
They swim fast too.
Did you see that one?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
where he like followed the boat oh yeah, he's
like in the wake and likefollowed him Like dude, fuck
that, it's something like 40miles an hour.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
They can swim underwater.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Yeah, it's insane and they'll kill you oh yeah, oh
yeah they're insanely yeah, theywarned us of that with the game
the hungry, hungry hippos.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yes, they did we would be those little balls yep,
yep, got it.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, are you saying you have little balls?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I am not, but I am saying that if I am next to a
hippo, I'm just going.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
I'm fucked.
Yes, oh my God, oh shit Wow.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
So yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
And then the other outcome of this and this is an
appropriate place to share it isfrom the whitewater rafting
trip.
We most likely all ingestedNile River water and we had to
get dewormed.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Oh no shit.
What does that mean it?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
means we had to take a couple of pills and watch her.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Did you actually like shit, worms?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
I never saw any in mine, but it was a precaution,
oh that's so cool and weird.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I'm interested.
Oh, and you know, fuck thosepeople for not putting up a sign
.
Water help, waterfall ahead.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
It's nine dollars see , that's what I'm saying.
Like it wouldn't, legally, theus government would not let you
whitewater rat.
I mean it would be at your ownrisk.
Like no guided tours like this.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Do you know how far the waterfall was?
No, If you had to guess likewith how many stories?
Speaker 3 (23:11):
like in a building right Like, would it have been
like 15 to 20 stories up, like,or.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Well, when you're going that fast through a rapid
yeah, you don't really know,it's adrenaline quick.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yep, you're going over a waterfall you don't give
a shit about how far you fall.
You just know that you'refalling Right, holy shit, and
you're thinking about gingerjabooties.
There's no way to really focusthat energy back.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I understand that oh good lord.
All I can think of is Without aPaddle.
Have you seen the movie Withouta Paddle?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
That reminds me of your tubing story.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Without a Paddle, Fuck dude.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Oh, that was so bad, but they're looking for DB
Cooper's treasure.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
In this movie they go on a canoe kind of thing and
they're all like we got this.
Then they go to a waterfall andthat shit hits the fan.
Yeah, yeah, they loseeverything, like all of the
stuff with their bone,everything their sanity.
You know that's when they likecuddle in a cave three dudes and
they're like you know balls aretouching and stuff like yeah
(24:14):
waterfalls lead to bad things.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
I'll take the worms so yeah, and we were all like
just so you're tore the fuck upfor three or four days after
because our bodies were justbeing, you know, thrown around
and jerked and it, yeah, andthis to pull ourselves up what's
(24:37):
the name of the girl thatstayed back?
Speaker 3 (24:38):
A fake name's?
Fine, I couldn't tell you.
We'll say her name's Carissa.
Okay, carissa.
Fucking hated on you guys sohard after that Like she was the
only one that didn't supportright.
Like instead of being like.
I feel so sorry for them, likethey're so bad.
It's like those fucking idiotswanted to go whitewater rafting
(24:59):
and I told them I'm fucking done, I'm fucking out of here, and
now they're shitting worms.
You get, you reap what you sow,bitch.
You know like oh, but shefucking took that to a new level
she had a legit phobia of wateroh no shit.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
That's awesome.
That's not a place to be andshe.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
She gave it a good shot, like she really, really
did, but she started havingpanic and she just couldn't yeah
which good for her for trying.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
But we understand, you know I mean it's shitty that
what happened and everything,but I bet it was just the
coolest experience oh yeah Imean, after everything was said
and done, you were out of thewater and away from the hippos
and crocodiles and shit.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Yeah, I would have been like they named a virus
after this.
You know the Nile virus.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
You know like maybe we don't.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
The Nile beer.
Yeah, like you know, maybe wedon't Fuck.
Carissa was right, that fuckingbitch.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I live to tell the story, Right Right.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Dude, that's true, and that's a good thing.
And you found the treasure andyou got to pet a hippo.
When did I say that you did?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
You did.
I didn't pet a hippo.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Dude, that'd be so cool.
No, really, you wouldn't dothat if you could, no.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I'd pet a cheetah, I wouldn't go anywhere near a
hippo dude.
Yeah, I wouldn't either yeah,so when we had to get water from
the hippopotamus pond.
When we had to get water fromthe hippopotamus pond, we would
pull water out of this pond andthen dump a bunch of chemicals
in it so that we had water toshit shower shave with.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Hippos make their own ponds.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
No, well, it was like limit, it was the drought there
was.
It was a big enough to be ableto take a couple hundred gallons
of water out of to do laundryand to do the basics, so we had
a little bit of water, yeah, soI mean they took weapons when
they went to do that becausethose hippo hippos will come up
(27:01):
on you so fast out of that waterand I mean their jaw strength
is wicked intense.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Did anyone ever have to firewhen getting water?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
No, thankfully.
Yeah, right, I mean you couldsee a hippo across the pond.
Turn your back for 10, 15,maybe 20, not even 20 seconds
and turn back around and thathippo is right in front of you.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
So it's not good for people with short attention
spans, right, I would be fuckingmad.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, you would.
That hippo would gobble yourass up.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I'd turn to the guy next to me.
Like you know, you couldactually grow cinnamon crunch
toast on a tree.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Like yeah, here's how it works.
Dude Crunch cinnamon toast.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Cinnamon crunch toast , cinnamon toast crunch,
cinnamon toast crunch.
Holy fuck dude, unreal, it'sfun.
That's like me getting TacoBell wrong.
It's three things.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
It's Bell Taco.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Bell Taco.
There is a Del Taco and it'sfucking delicious, but no,
there's.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
What show is that from?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
What from?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
The Del Taco.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Oh disjointed.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
There's a Del Taco.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Oh yeah, if you ever see a taco is a taco.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Did we get off topic?
Yeah, it happens every time.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
If you ever see a Taco John's while you're out's
really good, oh yeah it's weird.
You get a taco and then you geta side item.
Like you're at like a normal,like like a, almost like a, like
a white castle, like theirsides are like fries or tots, or
get the fucking tots and get ataco and tell me you're not
having a great fucking day.
It is so good.
It is so good.
(28:42):
Those tots are awesome dude.
Yeah, they're called Double DTots.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Double D Tots.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Where were we?
Oh, Main Street has thosereally good.
Oh, those are good.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Loaded stuff, tot things.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yes, those are awesome.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
But if you are listening Main Street, get it to
fucking gather.
How do you not have chickenwings on your menu?
How do you not have a normalpizza and the burritos that I
order?
Every time they're fuckingfrozen.
If you could get it togetherand message me, that would be
awesome.
And why is it that every time Igo to Main Street, if there's
(29:22):
three, people in there, or 300people in there you wait the
same amount of time.
Explain that to me.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Yeah, the matawan one is horrible like oh really,
you'll go in there.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I don't think we've had an experience like that,
that bad.
I just don't I don't know, Idon't.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
I don't appreciate a place that calls himself a pub
and they can't make a fuckingbuffalo wing like.
It's stupid.
To me it's like going tocracker barrel where's the
omelet next time you go look forthe omelet.
It doesn't exist.
How the fuck do you not have anomelet on your menu and you're
a breakfast place?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
this is why you're closed out.
Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
I had a special order it last time.
It's like you had to put it ina scrambled eggs that were flat.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah see, I've walked into a cracker barrel, and
there's no barrels either, orany crackers dude.
It's like this is not.
There's no crackers Ever.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
I'm expecting a barrel full of townhouse and I
got nothing when I walked inthere, dude, you got no crackers
.
I crack.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Where your barrel at white boy.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Oh man, all right, all right.
Where your barrel at white boy?
Oh man, all right, all right,we're no, nope, nope, nope,
we're saying we're back okay.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
So back I've got a.
I've got a military story.
This is actually my dad, um.
He was stationed in germany andfor the.
I don't know how long he wasthere, but but he was stationed
and while he was arounddifferent places he ended up at
(30:47):
the Black Sea and there may have.
Every time I hear this storyfrom him, he always says there
may have been alcohol involved.
But he says he fell asleep nextto the Black Sea and he got so
sunburned and at the time Idon't know if he was dating my
(31:11):
mom or they'd just been married,but he sent her like skin, like
his peeled skin in the lovenote that he was mailing back to
my mom what the fuck it's dudeI wonder if he was on peyote.
Speaker 3 (31:29):
Like that is some, that is some leonardo davinci
shit.
Yeah, like I'm gonna mail hermy ear.
Yeah, she's gonna love it butyeah, so he got.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I mean, he was just just toast like he got, so burnt
, I don't know if it was likeoff his arm or wherever, but
yeah, sent it back to her in ain a love note can you imagine
being so hammered that youthought a good decision was
peeling off your skin to send tothe well, this was later, you
know he got subvert, yeah, Imean, you know, back in the.
(32:04):
I mean this was whatever year,so I mean that's the only way
they had to communicate wasletters and cup phones and cup
phones.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Jen knows all about that she was communications in
49 countries.
All right, right, she set upthe African cup phone system is
very diverse.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
She set up the solo cups.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Oh, my God oh shit had I not set up a cup phone
through the jungle near theginge, we would have never made
it home, but I cup phoned mycommanding officer and I said
we've fallen through a waterfall, come get us.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
And he said, all right, you know yeah, oh shit
yeah I get yeah, every time thatI hear that story I'm just like
what the fuck, why would you dothat?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
but yeah, that's some dark shit, man Right.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, I don't think my mom necessarily appreciated
it.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Dude, that'd be like being so hammered, that like.
So.
I know that you couldn't makethe circumcision, but I wanted
to send you the foreskin.
Ew Thought.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Oh line crossed.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
That's all every episode.
Maybe you want it on the mantle.
I don't know the thinking ofyou just with that in the bottle
.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
We'll put it on Grandpa's urn and the card would
say and the card would say ohshit, I'm only here for the win.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
Enjoy the foreskin.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Oh my God, oh man win .
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Enjoy the foreskin oh , my god, oh man what other uh?
Do you have any other funny uhlike military stories or um, you
know, tell me, tell me aboutsomeone that you hated.
Tell me about someone you loved.
Tell me about more gingers,gingers gingers, ginger um, so
Gingers.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Ginger.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Ginger.
So when I was in Abu, Dhabi, Iwas let's see, I was newly sober
when we were in Abu Dhabi and Iwanted to start an AA meeting,
so I sat.
You know, I got approval andhad an AA meeting because there
(34:22):
was alcohol allowed on the base.
So you could have like threebeers a night.
But we also had a lot of peoplewho probably it was good for me
, it was good for my sobriety todo that.
So one like I got approval togo off base in Abu Dhabi to.
I found a Catholic church wherethere was like an in-person AA
(34:46):
meeting.
Yeah.
So there's this NCO who wantedto.
He volunteered to drive mebecause I couldn't.
Obviously, you know, being in aMuslim country, I couldn't
drive myself.
Basically, I needed I shouldhave had an escort.
So I mean, abu Dhabi isn't anextremely dangerous place and
(35:07):
there are a lot of Americansthere already.
So and we were allowed to goout once in a while.
We would have liberty so wecould go out into the city.
I got to take a trip to Dubai.
I got to do some pretty coolthings and see some cool things.
So I got approval to to go offbase for this meeting.
It was a friday, it wasn't, itwas night because it was dark.
(35:31):
Um, but we got lost because allof the sign we couldn't you
know like what the fuck are welooking at?
It looked like a bunch of youknow squiggly lines.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
It was all in Arabic.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
So we thought we could.
You know, we thought we'd beenout enough that we could get
there, because GPS wasn't athing at that point in time.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
There, I'd still be there.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Still be walking around looking at squiggly lines
brad brad knows from being inthat area that the the roadway
is not designed properly andwhen I was there several years
ago it was there were a lot ofunfinished sections.
Like, you would be driving andyou would have to get off
(36:21):
because the road just ended.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Why did you get off sooner?
Why did you read the sign?
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Because I can't wait to get back.
So we were and we had to beback by a certain time and we
totally missed the meeting.
So we're driving around in AbuDhabi, lost as shit, like I'm
starting to panic right.
I'm getting nervous because wedon't know where we're at, we
don't know how to get back.
(36:48):
I still have nightmares aboutthis shit, man.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
How long were you driving before you kind of hit
that moment Like how far was thetrip, I guess, how far was it
to the church?
It?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
was like 45 minutes or so To there.
To there, okay, and that wasallotting for a little bit of
like Fucky roads, right, so itlike driving around for the hour
and a half.
Coming up on two-hour mark, I'mgetting real nervous because
(37:18):
we're not seeing anything thatlooks familiar at this point
yeah and so, yeah, it was.
It was terrifying, and I stillhave nightmares about this that
terrify me just being so lostand like not knowing it, it was
(37:40):
yeah, and at this point, like wehad the little nokia, like tiny
phone, yeah, that was a suckyeah, that you had to like put
minutes on to be able to use it.
Yeah, so comms were, yeah, theprepaid thing, so it wasn't like
we could just pick up a cellphone and pull up a gps, you
know it.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Yeah, how long were you gone, total, before you got
back to the base?
Speaker 2 (38:05):
um close to four hours holy shit wow how did you
finally figure out where I don'teven remember really it it was?
I was just terrified becauseI'm in a foreign country, right
a?
Woman A woman in a Muslimcountry.
I just it was terrifying.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
Did you have to wear something on your face Like, did
you have to do that kind ofstuff while you were there?
Speaker 2 (38:28):
To go.
Yes, well, I didn't have tolike to go out by myself to walk
into the church.
It would be appropriate to putone on.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
okay, but um that required more respect, more
respectful, exactly, okay yep sothat's crazy I mean abu dhabi
at that point, and it's evenmore so now is very americanized
oh yeah I mean it very you justmade me feel awful about how
bad I am at directions right,like in, in being real, like
(39:01):
I'll be heading home to myparents and I'm getting off on
oakland.
It's like, what way you'regoing?
Do I go right or left?
What the fuck you know?
It's like I've been using thisexit since I've been able to
drive.
How do I?
not know, this right, yeah, dudeI would still be there
wandering looking for the churchlike no, they said, it was fine
35 years ago.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Wandering in the desert, mm-hmm.
So how many years now have youbeen sober?
Because that's cool.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
It was 15 in November .
Speaker 1 (39:33):
That's an accomplishment, that's awesome.
15 years sober that's amazing,thank you.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Incredible 15 years sober.
That's amazing.
Thank you.
That's incredibleCongratulations, thank you, keep
going, keep doing your thingyeah.
And I'll bet it was hard inthat moment to not want like
right.
The big picture that I keepthinking about of the story you
just told is here's a ladytrying to better herself and
also better her community and,uh, you know, and start an aa
(40:00):
group and and get in there andwhen I think about what would
trigger me, you know, oh yeah,it's, it would be a situation
like this, where it's hopeless,right so like that's.
What was crazy to me is that,like, here you are leaving to go
do something positive yeah andit has a negative trigger that
just killed that positive thingthat's nuts, that's so it's been
(40:25):
15 plus years of that that'scrazy that's nuts, that's
awesome I have.
I have a similar dream, I'm noteven kidding.
When I was younger, I had adream that I was in like japan,
china, I don't.
That's horrible.
I don't know what one, I reallydon't.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
But you were a kid and that was a while ago.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Yeah, and I was always like held at an airport
somewhere, being yelled at by amilitary general in Chinese.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Really.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
And he's like tiny and I know I can kick his ass,
but I have no idea the fuck he'ssaying.
I have no idea why I'm thereand I have no idea what I did.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
And I just like wake up, like so confused all the
time Like I'm trying to explainthis dude in English, I might as
well be barking, like you knowhe's looking at me like answer
my question, but he's asking meit all in Chinese.
I don't know, it was theweirdest fucking dream, but like
I don't know if that's like myfear, like knowing I could kick
someone's ass but, being likestrapped to something and then
(41:26):
not even being able tocommunicate.
Maybe that's what my fear is,but just kind of, I don't know,
made me think of that when youtold your story.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Maybe you just have a fear of strap-ons yeah, why
does it always come back to thestrap-ons with you too?
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
I was thinking about that too, but maybe we just
turned over a new leaf and nowwe're talking more about ginger
jabooties ginger jabootiesginger in jabooty yeah, I got
this hot girl.
Her name is Judy.
She's sexy With a ginger booty.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Oh shit.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Oh, I remember what that story was last night.
All right, it was about gettinghypnotized.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Oh, yeah, in a different country?
Oh yeah, do you have a deathwarrant, like, do you have a
death wish?
Let's go to fucking Dubai andlet's get hypnotized.
This is a.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Djibouti story Djibouti story no way.
So we had this in the military.
There's something called MWR.
It's kind of like they plannedwhen John Cena came to Abu Dhabi
to do his little tour orJillian Michaels in Iraq, I mean
.
So the MWR planned to have thishypnotist come in.
(42:44):
Yeah, and it was Friday orSaturday night and you could
have three.
You were allowed three beers.
Like the ration was, you gotthree beers if you wanted them a
night.
And so during the show thehypnotist wants, um, some
volunteers.
So I'm getting ready to leave.
(43:05):
I just met my um new civilcivil affairs team that I was
assigned to and they we weresitting at a table, the captain
bought us a beer and it was thefirst time meeting these people,
yeah, but I'm like, oh, I'llvolunteer so I go up to the
stage with five or six othervolunteers to get hypnotized
(43:28):
because I didn't think in frontof a crowd, in front of a few
hundred people.
so, because it was a friday orsaturday night, like you know,
we were having a beer, a 50degree beer, a very warm beer in
a very hot, hot country.
But so we're all up on stage.
I don't think there's any waythat my mind, I could be
(43:51):
hypnotized, right.
So he does his little spiel, weall get seated in these chairs
and he starts I really focus andhe starts doing his thing and I
was hypnotized because therewas video of it and one of the
(44:12):
things it was was um, act likeyou're feeling the most intense
cold you've ever felt in yourentire life and like shivering
and looking for you know, liketeeth chattering and our bodies
were moving, or act like it'sthe hottest hot you've ever
(44:34):
experienced.
Then it was Like the armyrecruiter.
Yes, it was like the armyrecruiter.
Yes, exactly Like the armyrecruiter.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
tying it back.
Tying it back, I like that.
Got you, got you.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Um, so the next one was the next one, which is the
most horrific thing, was actlike you are experiencing the
most pleasure of your entirelife.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
No, Did you call the guy daddy Like yes, daddy.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
What was that movie with the O, o O?
Speaker 3 (45:13):
face Office Space.
Yes, thank you.
Things go well.
Tonight I might be showing hermy O face.
Yes, you know what I'm talkingabout.
Yes, thank you.
Things go well tonight might beshowing her my whole face.
Yes, you know what I'm talkingabout Ow ow.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
So there I am basically having.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Or Stifler.
Stifler did that too, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Acting like I'm having an orgasm on stage,
because that's the most intensepleasure.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Why did you sign up for this?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
I didn't think it was going to be like that.
I thought they might have usclucking like some chickens or
some shit like that.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
Even that's bad Right .
Speaker 2 (45:44):
So I like come to Literally, literally.
That's awesome.
You just wow, so I opened myeyes, oh God.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
And my brand new captain and team that I just met
, that I'm going out on amission with for a few months,
saw me do this.
You must have gotten somenumbers.
That night Saw your O-face.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Oh, and I didn't believe it.
That's awesome.
I legit did not believe that.
I did any of no, I had no clue,and then they showed me the
video snippets of it.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
Did you call the hypnotherapist?
Speaker 2 (46:37):
I was so embarrassed Did you call him daddynos the
hypnotherapist.
I was so embarrassed did youcall him daddy I.
I was mortified like oh it wasit was it was awful.
Wow, I can't but I had the besttime with those people.
I mean, I had we had such asuccessful mission in Uganda.
It was amazing.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
No waterfalls.
Well, that's where we, oh, isthis after?
Or?
Speaker 2 (47:02):
before Before.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
You didn't even know.
Okay so if you could go backright, you have to do one again.
Would you whitewater raft,knowing that you're going to
fall off a fucking waterfall andit's going to be horrible, or
would you let the dude make youcome on stage again?
You have to do one.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
It would be the waterfall.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Yeah, yeah, I can see how embarrassing, that is.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
I'm a habitual line stepper.
I don't like what's up here,you know, so I would never sign
up for that, because I would bethe one that would say weird
shit like oh fuck, oh fuck, yeah, you like that bitch.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
You, yeah, yeah, ginger booty, ginger booty you
know, yeah, no, I uh, yeah it.
It was terrifying, but that wasa great group of people.
Unfortunately a few of themgave their life for our country.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Wow, oh no shit.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Oh, really Not during that time, but after, and other
deployments other oh that's.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
That's the worst, yep , you know it's, that's so worst
.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Yep, you know it's.
That's so sad.
Yeah, is it because they didn'twant it in Djibouti Come?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
on.
I'm messing, I'm messing, I'mmessing.
That's me hitting you.
Speaker 3 (48:31):
Yeah, and I deserve it.
So I wrote a poem about this.
Would you like to hear it?
Sure, this is called A Poem IWrote by Eric Schwab.
Oh, god damn it, not again.
Man, fuck, we gotta get thebeep out again.
(48:53):
Yep, we gotta beep it.
Hey girl, I know that this isfruity and I know you're active
duty.
I only have one question,please don't sue me.
Can I put it in Jabooty?
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Did you just come up with that in like the last 40
minutes?
Speaker 3 (49:13):
It's literally called a poem I wrote by Eric Mee.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
But this right here is why I will never get
hypnotized, like when the guy'slike hey, I'll do it, you know,
you'll get some free cinnamontoast crunch, nailed it.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
You'll also get a free hot and ready, you know,
grown fresh from our garden.
I wouldn'tailed it.
You'll also get a free hot andready grown fresh from our
garden.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
I wouldn't do it.
Yeah, where were we?
I?
Speaker 3 (49:45):
think it's time for the top five?
I think so too.
Do you need a?
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Okay, so tonight's top five is the worst thing that
you could tell your drillsergeant or your commanding
officer, or brand new drillsergeant.
Oh yeah, or brand newcommanding officer.
You can show them your oak faceDaddy.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
Oh shit, oh my God.
So would you like to go firstor second, Brad, and we are
going to go ahead and let Jenhave a pass on this top five.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
Well, I want to give one.
Okay, I like that.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
But I also want you to kind of explain this.
What would happen if this was?
Said you know, just like whatyou think the response would be
would be kind of a gold thingfor us.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Yep, okay, I'll go first, okay, okay.
So my number one is don't ask,don't tell a thing, because
Walker's hammer is reallyswinging my way, oh my.
Speaker 3 (50:53):
God dude His meat sword.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Oh dude, his meat soared.
Oh shit, oh shit is right.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
That's bad.
Did you get fired that day?
Speaker 2 (51:08):
But here's the thing you can't really get fired.
You've got to fuck up enoughtimes where they kick you out,
but it's not like you fuck up sobad and you're done.
That day they've got to writeyou up, and write you up, and
write you up, and then yeah, butdon't you have to go through
shit like if you were to saysomething like that oh, you
(51:31):
wouldn't walk or move your armsfor at least two weeks, like
you'd be doing nonstop front bagO's, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
Nonstop what's?
A front bag O Laptop.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
So front is you're doing push-ups, Back you do
flutter kicks and then go is youstart running.
And you do each one of thosethings until they decide to say
the next.
So I say front, you get on,start doing pushups until I say
(52:04):
back.
And that could be 30 seconds,that could be three days.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
So they don't like cockiness.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
No, okay, my number two.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
Well, okay, hold up, they don't like cockiness Back
in the day when I was there,like in the military, because
I've been out 10 plus years nowit's different than it is today.
I want to throw that caveat outthere, because it is very
different today with what istolerated and accepted.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
Yeah, that's good, that's a good thing.
Right In your opinion, likethat it is that way accepted.
Yeah, that's good.
So Is it?
That's a?
That's a good thing, right Inyour opinion?
Like that, it's that, it isthat way now, no, oh, I don't, I
was so supportive I realized Igot to put the pom poms down.
How dare they?
Speaker 2 (52:49):
I, just I.
You know the things like thetrying to make it more.
Speaker 3 (52:59):
Like, can you be.
Speaker 2 (53:00):
Like, can you like switch a gender, like while
you're in the military, that'sokay.
No, I don't.
I don't know about any of thatokay except for what I you know
news and stuff.
But um, news sucks, it's.
It was, you know, 10, 12, 14,even 20 years ago.
It was much more physicallydemanding without all of the
sunshine and rainbows.
Speaker 3 (53:22):
Okay, so it's a participation trophy kind of
place now.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
No, I wouldn't say that, because less than 1% of
the American population isserving or has served in the
military.
So you know, but it's I don'tthink DE think dei helped it, if
I can say that yeah okay I likeit like, let's not put out a oh
(53:48):
you gotta, you gotta, take thatout.
I can't say that I'll say it.
Speaker 3 (53:52):
So what you're saying is you don't want to have a
bunch of pussies.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
Okay, like I, like pig yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:58):
Yeah, number two.
Anyway, walker was swinging hishammer around driving rail
spikes, and so we took the trainto your daughter's house.
Speaker 3 (54:10):
Oh, oh my God, she's still talking about a dude's
beat sword.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
Here's the thing.
You would have got half of thatout before you were just Cold
cocked.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yeah, really Boot up your ass, yeah, my.
Speaker 1 (54:29):
God.
Number three you have such anego, you think, because you say
it, we're just going to do it ohmy god yes, yes I do pound your
face.
Yeah, pound your face, that'sthat could go in a different way
(54:49):
like that wouldn't work with mylast boss, dude pound your face
.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
No, no, you have such an ego, ego, oh, yeah, yeah
he's a fucking dick.
Speaker 1 (55:02):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (55:04):
Not current boss.
Speaker 1 (55:06):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (55:07):
From the last place.
Dad did not hug him much.
What Dad did not hug him muchas a kid he's a fucking angry
human being All the fucking timeI'm sorry it's okay that's not
fun I'm not there anymore
Speaker 1 (55:23):
anyways, number four number four if assholes were
airplanes, you'd be a jumbo jet,oh my god, yeah, that's not as
bad as the yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
But yeah, I'm trying to think.
Speaker 3 (55:37):
If I had to like dude .
That person's getting whipped.
That person's getting the baton.
You know Like I'm gonna fuckingfuck them up.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Yeah, and mine, I think.
Speaker 3 (55:49):
Number five.
Okay, mambo, mambo, number five.
Speaker 1 (55:55):
I got you the special 152 count box of crayons.
Oh my God, I don't know how thehell that ever started with
Marines.
I wish I did.
But With the crayons, yeah.
They always talk about, theyjoke about eating crayons.
Even my brother-in-law, he wasa Marine and he jokes about
eating crayons.
Speaker 3 (56:16):
Holy fuck, there's a dog in here.
That's so cool.
What's up, buddy?
Oh my God.
So I think that that was agreat top five, and I think that
you'd be doing some physicallabor, oh yeah.
I think that with mine youmight get shot.
Speaker 1 (56:32):
I think I'd be dead from like overworking.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
You ready for mine?
It's about to be bad bud.
Did you go 1 to 5 or 5 to 1?
Speaker 1 (56:43):
I did 1 to 5, but they're in no particular order.
This is just as they came to myhead.
Speaker 3 (56:49):
Okay, sir, so this would be Drill Sergeant.
I'm going to specify DrillSergeant, sir.
Why do you remind me of my ex?
Oh yeah, you're loud, demandingand leave me unsatisfied.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
You might get a chuckle out of the other drill
sergeants, but he's about tofuck your ass up.
Oh yeah, dude.
Speaker 3 (57:11):
Pistol whipped.
That's what I'm going for.
Speaker 2 (57:14):
It's a good thing drill sergeants don't have
weapons on them.
Speaker 3 (57:16):
I'm looking for that honorable discharge.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
That would be so dishonorable.
Speaker 3 (57:21):
Honorable discharge, but if he pistol whips me, am I
good.
Speaker 1 (57:27):
I don't think you're going to survive.
Speaker 3 (57:29):
I'm fine with eating food through a straw but what
I'm saying is Okay.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
You know, it would be epic if we actually had drill
sergeants that were listening.
That would do that so greatlike this is what I would have
done if I'd heard that you readyfor number two?
Speaker 3 (57:49):
yeah, damn, sir.
If you keep riding my ass likethis, at least buy me a fucking
drink first.
Number three oh my god, that'sso bad.
(58:11):
I'm gonna say it, though, forsomeone who's in charge you sure
look like you're used to beingon your knees.
Oh, damn yeah.
These are cold though I likethese.
Speaker 1 (58:24):
Oh shit, I can yeah.
Speaker 2 (58:27):
Your eyelashes would hurt.
Speaker 3 (58:30):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (58:33):
You'd get the dog piss smoked out of you.
Speaker 3 (58:35):
Oh yeah, your toenails would.
Yeah, They'd rip your nails off.
Speaker 2 (58:39):
No From running or doing whatever you wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (58:44):
What if you just sat down Indian style?
What do they do?
Just sat down Indian style andcompletely ignored them and just
said like namaste, what wouldhappen?
Speaker 2 (58:54):
Not good things.
Speaker 3 (58:56):
Like can they physically?
Like fuck you up.
No, then I'm good.
Speaker 1 (59:02):
Yeah, yeah, for a little while, for like five
minutes yeah.
Speaker 3 (59:05):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (59:07):
Because if you want to eat?
Sleep shower?
Change your underwear, yeah.
Speaker 3 (59:13):
Yeah, okay, piggybacking off that number
four.
Are we allowed to?
So this would be to your newhigh-ranking person that you
report to, not Darrell Sargent,but like you're in his office
asking him Sir, are we allowedto fuck higher-ranking officials
(59:34):
?
I would really like to show hermy honorable discharge.
Speaker 1 (59:44):
No comment Pretty clever though, oh my God Pretty
clever, oh shit, could youimagine.
Speaker 3 (59:52):
Does that person get thrown out of that office?
No, because they can't touchyou.
That's great.
Speaker 2 (59:59):
Well, mps can touch touch you, that's great.
Well, mps can touch you likecops, you're so fucked, but good
one right.
Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
Would it have been better if I showed her my
dishonorable discharge or saidsomething like I want to
honorably discharge on her face?
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
I mean you know what.
Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
You're digging up fucking all of it, you're lucky,
I can't hit you.
Wait, I thought that wasn'tthat bad.
I'm sorry, I wasn't trying tocross the line, I just thought
that was great.
It is a discharge.
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Number five.
Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Number five If common sense were fuel, you wouldn't
have enough to power a fuckingflashlight.
Oh shit Wow.
You're probably dying for thatone.
Did you have any that didn'tmake it.
Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
No, I didn't, I did Hold on Hold, on Hold on what
was your one?
Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
Oh yeah, the one conscientious objector to walk
into your commander's officethree or four days before a
deployment and say I'm aconscientious objector, I'm not
deploying oh shit, oh, whatwould they have done?
Oh, I saw it oh really yeah, itwas, yeah they.
(01:01:21):
What happened?
He got uh kicked, kicked outnever, never heard from again oh
no, I heard from him again whenI moved here.
He's got a tree service in thearea really I think I know who
you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (01:01:39):
Yep, is he a little wild?
Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
oh, I don't know okay , okay, but yeah um, it's the
same guy that at fort bragg's,yeah no shit wow wait, what
happened?
What same guy we were gettingready to deploy, like we were
packing our bags to deploy, andthis kid, 18, 19 years he must
(01:02:01):
have been 19, said.
I'm a conscientious objector, Iwill not deploy.
Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
He was conscious.
Yeah, wow, wow yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
I'd hit him, so yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
He'd hit him with the honorable discharge yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Yeah, what about this for a question?
Does the military still have adon't ask, don't tell policy?
Because these dudes are prettyfucking hot man.
Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
I think you can say that stuff now.
Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
It'd be so weird.
I'd salute you, but I'm alreadystanding at attention, if you
know what I mean.
If I do you a favor and dropdown and give you 20, will you
do me a favor and drop dead?
Oh, damn, oh my gosh.
Or to a drill sergeant?
Is the weather going to getcolder?
(01:02:52):
My thong is riding my ass andit's really making it hard
You've just made.
Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
so many stories come to mind.
Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
You'll have to do another salute service in the
future so I can share some moreof my crazy, fucked up shit that
I've done.
Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
You're giving an order like you have something to
prove.
Are you compensating forsomething, sir?
Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
Oh Jesus to prove.
Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
Are you compensating for something, sir?
Oh jesus, at this point, justfuck me.
At least I'd be satisfied foronce okay, that's enough of
those oh wow, all right, I thinkthat, uh, we nailed it.
Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
This is a lot of fun guys I did, I, you have fun.
Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
I did, I did.
I'm so glad.
Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
I was nervous at first.
Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to
kind of explain this to us.
And yes, we had some fun, wehad some laughs, but at the end
of the day we give a shit aboutour military.
Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
We really do.
Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
And whether or not you do it doesn't matter.
But, like this whole part ofthe show is just kind of to talk
about it, glorify it a littlebit and also have some fun.
But we want everybody to knowthat we're very much
pro-military.
Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
Oh, absolutely 100%.
Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
I'm two things always I'm pro-military and I'm down
to put it in Djibouti.
Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
I'm pro-military and I'm down to put it in Djibouti
and, on that note, super funnight guys.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
Thank you for coming on the show, thank you for your
service, thank you for allyou've done and congratulations
on 15 years sober.
Thank you, that is so cool,sober.
Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
Thank you.
Thank you, that is so cool yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
And you got lost in a country with a bunch of signs
that just look like hashtags,you know, like hashtag squiggly
star.
This is where we turn.
Yeah, pretty much, that wouldhave been fucked oh man.
Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
Well, all right.
Well, thanks everybody forlistening.
I really hope you enjoyed theshow.
If you or someone you know arein the military, thank you for
your service, yep.
Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
What was?
And piggybacking off of respect, I want to let all our
listeners know that our nextepisode, oddly enough, is a 420
guide.
So it is a guide to a wonderful420.
Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
We'll be back with more.
Oh doodle pies.
Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Oh yeah, oh fuck.
Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
We can't get into that yet.
Oh God, we got to save thatstuff, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
I could talk about food forever, yeah, especially
on 420.
It's Easter this year FYI ohyeah, that's true Is this year.
Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
FYI oh yeah, that's true, Is it?
Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
Yeah, it is 420 is on Easter Dude.
I have a new goal.
I want to get high with theEaster bunny, the actual one.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
Oh man, all right everybody, thanks for listening.
Appreciate you guys, take careand we'll catch you on the next
episode If you're lucky.
All right, peace.
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