April 30, 2025 • 59 mins
Ever found yourself locked in a staring contest with a giant raccoon while smoking on your porch? That's exactly what happened to Eric in this laugh-out-loud summer-themed episode. As humidity hangs in the evening air, Eric recounts his unexpected wildlife encounter with a massive raccoon that keeps returning to his smoking spot — leading to speculation about whether the creature might be enjoying a contact high and fantasies about a very unusual friendship involving Doritos and cartoons.
The summer vibes continue as both hosts share their most catastrophic cookout stories. Brad confesses to nearly poisoning all his friends with severely undercooked burgers at a lakehouse party ("I almost killed all my friends and didn't mean to"), while Eric recalls witnessing a company owner destroy perfectly good salmon by operating a smoker so hot the paint peeled off — yet somehow still serving raw food. These cautionary tales serve as hilarious warnings for your upcoming summer gatherings.
The highlight comes when Eric and Brad break down their definitive ranking of the "Worst Things to Bring to a Cookout." From the painfully accurate "acoustic guitar no one knows how to play" to the darkly hilarious "Jeffrey Dahmer with homemade burgers," their list combines everyday annoyances with absurdist humor that will have you nodding in agreement one minute and crying with laughter the next. Other notable mentions include bringing a six-month-old Christmas fruitcake, showing up with an empty propane tank, and arriving with to-go boxes to pack leftovers before you've even participated.
Between summer memories of fishing trips, scientific approaches to backyard fire pits, and upcoming concert plans, this episode captures the essence of summer friendship and the stories that bond us together. Ready for some summer laughs? Grab a cold drink and join the Round and Loudy crew for their most relatable episode yet.
ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.
Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.
Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
and the card would say no, dude, we're going, we're
on, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome to the Round and Loudy Podcast.
This is Eric.
I'm joined here today with mybest friend, brad, and, uh, holy
shit, it's episode 13.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
For the people that have listened.
Thank you For the people thathaven't.
You don't know what you'remissing, bud.
They don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
They're missing, they don't know they're not gonna
hear this, they're never gonnaknow, and that's the worst part
ever.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah, it is tonight.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
We're talking summer we're talking, it's summertime,
it's getting there.
I know in there spring like therascal flats song.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
We're talking actual summer.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
It feels like summer today.
Yeah, that's like 84 out, Ithink.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
We're talking hot sun and titties and buns, Brad.
That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
It doesn't have to be hot, sun and titties.
Man, I'm there.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Hot sun, titties and buns.
You know Ka-ka, but yeah, soour last episode is a little bit
of a breeze.
We had a great time.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
It was a 420 episode.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So if you want to know how to plan a good stony
day, it doesn't have to be 420.
Just maybe start it at 420.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
You know, but like tell someone like me 410.
That way I'll get there righton time.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
When we started recording tonight I told Brad
that I had a really funny storyand I kind of wanted to tell it
on the air the hell, yeah, manokay so let me paint a picture
for you.
Okay, so we put my little sonto bed last night it's probably
about 10 o'clock, okay and Ihung out with Chelsea, okay, so
(02:14):
she, she starts, she goes to bedand I go out on our front porch
.
So this is last night.
Yeah, smoking Shocked, I knowRight.
Yeah, shocker, yeah, so I.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Shocked, I know Right , yeah, shocker.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah, so I'm smoking and it's humid and warm out now.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I'm blowing smoke dude out the door.
I'm kind of standing in thedoorway looking out right I hear
the tree dude and it's like andmy high S is like whoa like,
not like like another funnypiggy story.
Real quick piggyback story foryou.
One time I was outside I amcertain that I heard gunshots
(02:54):
dude, but I was high enough thatI was just I like normal me
would have been like what thefuck?
We're in the middle of, madawan, who's who's shooting right now
?
Right?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
yeah, I yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I just stared there, I was like, well, sometimes
people got to die, you know, ohmy.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
God dude.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
So this time I'm looking out, I'm staring at this
tree, but I'm smoking, and Ilook down and there is a fucking
huge raccoon staring at me.
Oh, no shit Like a fuckingmonster raccoon dude, raccoon
staring at me.
Oh no shit.
Fucking monster raccoon dudeand I, I can't decide, like in
the moment, like, is this reallife?
(03:31):
Right or is this really goodbud?
It's real, was it?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
was it talking to you , dude?
Huge fucking raccoon was ittalking though do they talk Well
?
No, but if it was really goodweed, it might have started to
talk to you.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Dude, if we can get raccoons hooked on phonics, I
mean, I'm sure they have extraunits laying around ever since,
I don't know, the internet wasinvented.
Yeah, dude, this fuckingraccoon could eat a fucking
squirrel hole as an appetizer inorder seconds.
This dude was huge.
No shit, but it just kind offreaked me out because how
(04:09):
comfortable he was.
I went out and the funniestpart- about the story to me is
that every time I went outside Iforgot it's working right.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
So, like I mean, I went out a couple times to smoke
cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
The second time I had to go get my pack right,
completely forgot.
Giant fucking raccoon.
I look up, dude.
He is fucking in the tree likepretty much taking a senior
photo, dude, you know just likehis paws around and be like
what's up, motherfucker.
And then I thought even deeperand I'm like I smoke a lot of
weed right here, right, I wonderif I'm getting this dude high
and egging him on.
Can you imagine how much food asuper stoned fat?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
raccoon could eat.
So did you know that a raccoon,if it's out in the wild next to
a cornfield, it will eat up toseven pounds of corn a day.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Dude, what's attracting this thing?
Is it the shit from my?
Speaker 3 (05:10):
son, maybe it's your weed.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Dude, yeah, he probably loves it.
Dude, if I get stoned with araccoon, the Easter bunny can
get fucked.
What if, some night, dude, youhear your phone go off at like
1045 and you just see eric dude,we almost had to, yeah, and
it's just a picture of me likefucking arm around and he's
(05:36):
hitting the dude his eyes are,his eyes are glazed over, but it
just blew my mind.
I mean, nothing happened, it wasfine, but, like dude, when I
went out to my car for thesecond time, like by the third
time, I knew better.
I was out there with a fuckingflashlight, and then I thought
to myself even further like Igot to worry about spiders and
(05:57):
raccoons now, this is somehorror shit.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Apparently, you don't have to worry about the raccoon
.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
It's just there to hang out.
I youtubed it, though there wasa rabbit raccoon in like a
neighborhood in troy, michigan.
You can watch that video.
It's all these like privilegedass like white ladies, just like
I was.
I was disturbed.
We called animal control andthey told us to call the police
oh no the police told us itwasn't their their fucking
problem.
And then we called dnr and theysaid it wasn't their fucking
problem.
It's like who is gonna come andget this rabid raccoon?
(06:27):
You?
gotta watch, it's great and Iwas thinking to myself like,
dude, if this was me and brad,we would have been out there
already with a blow dart gunbuilding.
He would have been tranked andwe would have had that fucker in
a dog cage.
Five minutes later no one evencalled the news station.
Yeah, yeah, because then I keptnagging my wife on it.
I was like do we call the newspeople?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
She's like what I was like.
I think I'm going to get a ladyhere in a pantsuit stat.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Yeah, you know.
So yeah, no shit Smoking weedon a summer night.
Look up for raccoons.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, watch out for the raccoons man.
That's a fucked up storybecause your tree is not very
far from your front door, I knowand dude, I'm a creature of
habit, right?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
yeah, yeah, it's gotta know, so it's gotta know
exactly I bet it was gettingbaked I'll bet he's hired and
shit and he goes and terrorizesthe neighbors dude, do you ever
like flick your roach?
Oh yeah, so he might be eatingthat stuff and getting fucking
high as shit my wife will getmad if I invite him in to watch
cartoons and see how far thisfriendship goes, dude it
(07:39):
probably the pictures that Isaid you just get worse and
worse, like first has me armaround him.
Second is me just die laughing.
He's on the couch next to meeating Doritos Shit.
Oh man, oh my God.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Well, hey, we got to go over the top three from last
episode.
So last episode was a banger,dude.
You had me rolling.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I was laughing my ass off, dude you helped me so much
in the moment too with thatSlurpee and that lid Like that
was just heroic as fuck.
Take the fucking turn off.
You know what grinds my gearshow these Slurpee straws do not
reach rock bottom.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah.
So to put this in perspectiveokay, so it's a Slurpee.
It's got the domed lid on topthe straw's sticking out just
barely right.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
And Eric's trying to get that fucking straw.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
So I'm like dude take the fucking lid off and it's
like perfect, the straw goesright up to the hole.
Yep, but I had to get the Mega.
I just had to get the Mega one.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Oh my God, so we solved it.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Take the fucking lid off.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
All right.
So we did some strains, somegood names for strains, on our
420 episode, and the top threeare as follows Number three the
Big Leblonski Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Donnie and Sparky.
That was awesome Packed withthat.
Don't give a fuck flavor.
Yeah, it's the kind of weedthat always abides.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Number two Jurassic Spark.
If you're a dinosaur lover,jurassic Spark Dude just don't
open the back seat.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Do you remember that when that little fucking thing
came out of the way.
Oh yeah, he's like oh look,it's all cute dude Raccoon.
That's what I'm worried about,right?
Yeah, I get too close right.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Oh yeah, what if I start smoking with it?
Rabid raccoon Right, it's goingto get pissed and steal all
your.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
You've got to watch that YouTube video dude I do
Google rabid raccoon in.
Troy Michigan.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
It's fucking hysterical dude, I'll check it
out and our number one this isEric's number one Skunk jizz.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Smells like Hot Topic body spray.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
That was awesome dude , I laughed my ass off.
You just I don't know how thehell you pull that shit out of
your brain, or I don't knowwhere it comes from, but I mean,
and you did it like it was anactual commercial.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
You're welcome, so I just the people deserve my best
Right Dude.
The worst part, though, is thatwe did that 420 episode, and
then I watched all my 420 moviesand I had so many ideas, so we
got to do almost another ganjaepisode.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Like half baked dude, like when we're talking
munchies.
We almost should have playedthat clip, oh yeah, it was like
what talking munchies?
We almost should have playedthat clip.
Oh yeah, like, what do you need?
We need two pizzas, man,everything on them.
We need sour cream and onionchips, man, with some dip, whole
lot of dip.
We need haagen-dazs, whole lotof haagen-dazs better be
chocolate.
We need haagen-dazs, uh andfungans.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Funkins, funkins.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
That was a great movie, man, oh that's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I watched Friday the other day.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Actually, I think I did.
I watched it on Sunday.
That's a great movie.
I watched Friday.
You know what's weird.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Chris Tucker didn't want to make Next Friday and
Friday after Next because hedidn't want to be in a movie
that was pro-marijuana.
Oh, really yeah.
The second and third are stillreally good because mike epps is
in it and he's yeah hilarious,yeah, um, but yeah, no kidding
(11:36):
it's interesting so it's not thesame.
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Chris tucker kills me oh, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
First friday was even , uh, even those rush hours are
pretty fucking funny.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I dig them.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yeah, those are funny .
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Because Jackie Chan's just so dry and.
Chris Tucker is so over the top.
Yeah, yep, holy fuck, that'slike us.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Dude you're.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Jackie Chan, but you speak so much better English.
Right, yeah, you definitely gotRosetta Stone for Christmas.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
I was hooked on phonics.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
I'm hooked on phonics , Dude.
You could sell something withthe cheesiest shit back then.
I would have been on fire, dude, if I was selling in the 90s,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Yeah, you'd have been selling weed in the 90s though.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I don't know.
I've never really been intothat side of it.
I'm more of a purchaser Right.
You know the whole.
Don't get high on your ownsupply.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Yeah, I would yeah.
So what's your funny or summerstory that you have for us
tonight?
Sure Not to put you on the spotor anything.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
No.
So Marcellus, michigan, okay,not too far from here.
I had a lake house for like ayear right on the water, which
was cool.
But like when I say lake, likeyou could see all the sides of
the lake from the dock right,like it's a big pond, so it was
(13:13):
like a pond.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah, okay, still fun , though, right?
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Absolutely.
So I had a bunch of people overand you know I'm probably I
don't know over and uh, you knowI'm probably, I don't know, I
think I moved in, probably march, something like that.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
So okay, so probably around now.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I probably had a cookout with people where it was
like finally getting 70s yeah,yep and I had like 15 people
over, like all my buddies fromcollege, so this I would have
been I don't know 25.
Okay, shit, that's crazy tothink about.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
But uh, so this was how long ago 10 years ago 10
years ago 11.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Fuck.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Whatever?
But so I had a bunch of peopleover and it was awesome.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
But like, uh, you know me, dude, with a lot of
things going on.
So I mean, we're smoking, we'rehanging out like hanging out by
the water, we're playing bags,we're playing.
I didn't say cornhole we'replaying bags we're hanging out,
music's going, so everybody'shanging out doing their thing,
like people are kayaking, peopleare out.
I had a jet ski.
People were running around thelake.
(14:26):
I didn't give a shit, yeah, um,so I was cooking, right.
Well, I had pulled the burgersout of the freezer that that day
, like not night before, butyeah day.
So it was like probably I don'tknow three o'clock and I'm
cooking at like six.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And I start cooking and the burgers are looking
awesome dude and everyone atelike dude 15 people Like.
One of my buddies was actuallysick.
He's like on dialysis.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And so I look over dude and I'm cooking.
It's like that cool momentwhere I finally made it.
It's my place.
I'm looking out, I'm like fuckyeah.
Everyone's here for me.
And then I realized that, like,people are like heaving when
they're eating these burgers,dude, and I'm like what the fuck
is going on?
Like I cooked them good, likedude.
(15:16):
I cooked them for a long time.
Like I don't know what thefuck's going on.
They weren't fully unthawed,buddy, so the middle of them was
just fucking raw as fuck.
Dude Like dude, like five orsix people got sick.
I felt fucking terrible and theworst part was I didn't even
(15:36):
eat one because I'm cooking LikeI'm trying to you know host.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah, I felt fucking terrible dude.
I almost killed all my friendsand didn't mean to wow but like
you're a hell of a guy it'sreally hard to tell, though,
once it's on the grill rightlike.
I realize my mistake.
I'm dumb, I'm not.
I'm not claiming any like yeah,you know yeah but once you get
it on the grill, when you don'tyou know it's, it's really hard
(16:02):
to tell once it starts to brown.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And obviously I could , yeah, but if it's still oozing
blood out of it.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
You know it's not done.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
And I think that's probably the problem.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
You know, I didn't have a lifeguard on duty.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
It said grill at your own risk, and I did.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Well, it should have been eat at your own risk.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Oh dude, what if a girl had that on her shirt?
Yes, Like the Rolling Stonestongue.
Oh yeah, Eat at your own risk.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Nice, that's a banger shirt.
We should have that.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
We should have that, we should get that one.
That'd be it.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
That should be their final tour yeah there's some hot
chick dude rolling stones,tongue right down where it
should be eat at your own risk.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
So my summertime story I actually have something
to go.
It's very similar to yours,very similar.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
So but this was not me cooking.
I'm glad okay.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
I'm glad okay so this was, it was a cookout, it was
actually at uh, in marcellus, Ithink I was at this fucking
asshole house and I got a rawburger I thought he was so
fucking funny too.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
That was the worst part.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
So this was actually at a boss's house one of my
bosses Boss.
Well, so it was my boss's houseand the owner we had a big
party, like there was a bigemployee, you know all the
employees, all this companyparty, and the owner shows up
(17:48):
and he shows up late Likeeverybody's there, everybody's
getting ready to eat, and heshows up late and he has salmon.
He has, I think it was pork,like a pork loin or something
along those lines.
(18:08):
And he's going to cook it andthere's a smoker, and my boss
had the smoker going alreadybecause he figured that he would
be there early and start it andwhatever.
But the owner dude, he's overthere, he's yelling at everybody
because he's, he's drunk, okay,he's yelling at everybody and
(18:31):
he, he sets the smoker on firelike the top of the paint of the
, the smoking like you have thatbeing on the side with the
smoke and your wood chips andstuff like that are supposed to
be in and then it's supposed tosmoke into the other barrel or
(18:54):
the other chamber.
And he had that so hot, thepaint was peeling off of the top
of the smoker.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Right, holy shit.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
It's hot as shit in there.
How big of a smoker, big onenot real big, I mean yeah like a
keg flip yeah yeah, about thatsize, and so he's going to end
this.
I mean, the fire's just ragingout of this thing, right, and he
, he gets to the point where hethinks it's done, right, brings
(19:26):
it in and starts carving.
People are trying to cut thisthing with a knife and it's so
fucking raw.
It's just the salmon.
How do you not get salmon done?
But it wasn't done.
The salmon wasn't done,everything it was just abysmal.
(19:47):
Just nothing was nothing wascooked.
Luckily we had.
We had shrimp that, uh, my bosshad actually brought in, so I I
cooked that in like a bigsteamer pot.
That was.
That was awesome.
And then there was some burgersand some other stuff that you
know that other people hadcooked.
Luckily we had enough food.
(20:09):
But dude it was.
I've never seen somebody get asmoker.
It's a grill, so that fuckinghot that it's how is it still
raw?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
yeah, exactly how the fuck does that happen?
I don't even understand, likebecause how the fuck does that
happen?
I don't even understand, likebecause you'd think of it being
hot peeling paint off Right.
The food would have gottencooked.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
You'd think so.
You'd think so.
It might have been frozen.
You have to smoke.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I mean also.
I mean side note.
You're probably supposed to putthat on a grill first and then
smoke it to get the flavor right.
Yes, Absolutely yes absolutelyso he skipped a step.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Yeah, oh yeah, there was a lot of steps that were
skipped.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
I guess I shouldn't be playing lifeguard.
No one wants a drunk lifeguard.
I shouldn't be coaching.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
The only step that wasn't skipped was the amount of
beer that was being drank.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
And you saved the day .
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I didn't save the day .
No, I'm not the hero.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, you're right, I'm not the hero of this story,
Taco Bell is.
Her name was Gretchen.
Let me tell you that night shegot my order just right,
Stretching Gretchen.
Shout out to Gretchen.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Stretching Gretchen.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
She got my order, just right.
Oh my God, Every time, everytime, every time, oh my god, uh,
so what else you got going onman like right now yeah right
now.
What's life?
What's life like for eric?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
it's kind of wild bud .
Yeah, growing a new business.
Yeah, uh, newborn.
Well, seven month, I don't knowwhen you can stop saying
newborn, but baby baby uh, acouple like fucking nagging
friends?
No, but honestly, um what?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
are you trying to say Eric?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Right now I'm really excited I'm going to see ACDC in
six days.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Nice With Papa Hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
In Detroit.
I'm fucking geeked Nice.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Where's that?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
In.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Detroit In Ford Field .
I really like Detroit.
It's weird, but I have a thingwith that city yeah.
Every time I go to a concert,there go and hang out.
There go, Tigers.
I used to go to Warped Tour inthe Comerica parking lot.
I used to all the time.
So me and Pop are going to seeACDC and then I'm flying out.
(22:38):
So that's on a Wednesday nextweek Yep Friday Flying to
fucking Phoenix buddy.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Nice yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Going to.
So me and my friend Jack arehuge fans of a couple bands that
are playing.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Like we love Point North, we love we came as Romans
.
Seether and A Day to Remember.
Okay, but like Point North'sone of my favorite bands.
Like I love them.
A Day to Remember's one of myfavorite bands.
A Day to Remember's way upthere for me like top three.
Yeah, I've seen them.
I've seen them 15 times,probably nice.
So see there, I've seen withthe, with uh jacko, a couple
(23:12):
times too.
Yeah, I was fucking geeked hellyeah, I'm just that sounds like
a great to go hang out with himand also go do something that
like we look like like he's beenmy concert buddy forever, so
like it's, it's just, it's justa fact, like yeah I don't know
what he's not.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
He's not able to make it to the bart bauer bash this
year.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
No and that's fine, I understand, like I totally get
it.
I actually have to talk withhim.
Or like, dude, you're infucking phoenix, like yeah you
coming here is crazy I get it,you know do it.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
If you can, I get it hell yeah, what a cool dude
though like I'm dude, I'm justedto go stay with him and his
wife.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Yeah, they're fucking awesome.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, he works at the concert hall.
He actually works with wherethe Cardinals play, okay, and
does security.
Nice, so he gets to get realclose to artists and stuff.
Sweet, he also works at Hertz,you know.
But dude, he's the coolestfucking dude yeah there's a lot
(24:10):
of money in rental cars, though.
Ton of it oh, yeah, and he'syeah, damn hard worker kind of
dude like he always has beencool as shit and hard worker
nice but yeah, I'm geeked to gosee him man like that'll be a
good it's kindof my way to return the favor
too for him coming to barbaralike that was.
So that was so cool.
Oh yeah, wasn't he a coolfucking guy?
Hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yeah, that's super cool Dude we had.
I mean, I had a great time witheverybody there.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, me too.
I mean, it was just it was agood time, dude.
I can't my dad, my brother,yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Papa.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Who else is coming?
Oh we got Rusty, yep, dave,dave.
Yeah, we got 13 people, 12, 12?
.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, that's going to be a good time.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
And if you don't know what we're talking about, it's
a dude's trip where we just getpretty fucked up and hang out
golf, play poker yeah play bags,do whatever yeah, I'm excited
we got 40 some days jackierobinson 42 we'll never forget
brad, anyway.
Um so actually I got one morequick story about summer.
(25:27):
Oh, yeah so, same house, I got ajet ski, like I said, right,
yeah, I had so much bad,unfortunate luck with that dude,
like so the lake was tiny.
Um, one time I remember I had afriend over and like, dude, we
were just doing crazy shit onthe jet ski, like we were making
our own waves and trying tojump them and stuff, just being
stupid.
I hit a wave so hard, dude,that I beached it, and there was
(25:51):
an embankment, dude, like likea concrete oh yeah beached it.
Jesus still ran.
And then a different time, I'mout there with lucy and we're in
the middle of the fucking lakeand it dies.
I'm fucking swimming this showone-handed like a dumb dumb.
My little daughter's on therelike three years old, oh, no
(26:14):
shit, yeah no shit, that suckslake houses are a lot of fun,
but a lot of crazy upkeep likeit's crazy like even like, like,
if, getting all the weeds outof, like, the beach area where
you're going to be.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah, awful Yep.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Constant pain in the ass.
I grew up on a lake, so Snakeseverywhere.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yep Snakes muskrats all kinds of different bugs.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Mosquitoes dude.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah, mosquitoes are nasty, it's like an orgy dude,
while you're out there Like Godheaven forbid you go by the
water at night.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
You're fucked.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
You're fucked.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Yeah, yep, I mean it's a breeding ground for
mosquitoes.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
so oh yeah, dude, they just blah, blah, blah blah.
Can you put some Frank Sinatrain?
I want to bang all theseskeeters from there.
We're about to multiply up inthis bitch.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Yeah, I lived down the lake until my eighth grade
year in school.
Then we moved into town Did youguys have a boat.
We did for a little bit.
Well, we had a speed boat whenI was really young and then we
just had a like a little fishingboat the rest of the time.
(27:34):
So, but my grandpa, so theycall it a john boat.
They do, they call it a johnboat.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Why is it a john boat and a john doe?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
why is it?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
always john.
I don't know, johns are cool.
I guess I call it a John Boat.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Why is it a John Boat and a John Doe?
Why is it always John?
I don't know, johns are cool.
I guess you go to the John.
It's a John Boat, it's a JohnDoe, I don't know your Johnson
gets hard.
John, sometimes it's inpurgatory.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Beatles, John Lennon, so many Johns.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeah, long, john, long John.
Yeah, I don't know it's weird,but yeah.
So we lived on a lake and mygrandfather would always come to
, so he lived in California andhe would drive.
They had a fifth wheel and theywould drive all the way to
Michigan, stay for two or threeweeks when I was off on, you
(28:26):
know, spring or summer vacationor summer break, whatever, from
school, and then are you havinga.
Are you fucking okay?
Over there dude.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
So he would come by and then we'd just fish.
We'd like the three weeks, we'dfish every day and that was
awesome.
And then he would drive frommichigan all the way up to
alaska and then they would staythere for a couple months,
whatever fish every day.
I mean, he was just a hugefisherman and then they drive
back to to California.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I love fish.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Yeah, that was kind of my every summer deal.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
My grandfather would come and hang out and fish.
Did you go to Alaska with him?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I never got to go to Alaska with him.
I got to go to Alaska one timewith my dad and my mom.
We actually flew to.
Well, I flew to Anchorage andmy mom and dad were already
there.
They went on a 10-day land tourkind of thing.
(29:40):
They took the train fromAnchorage up to Fairbanks, spent
some time in the sightseeingand stuff like that.
They they got to do some likedog sledding stuff and you know
just, it was cool, you know, forthem to see.
And then they, when they cameback to Anchorage, I flew in and
then my dad and I my mom's notreally much of a fisherman, so
(30:06):
my dad and I went to the KenaiRiver and then we went to the
Russian River and I think therewas one other river that we
stopped at around the KenaiPeninsula and we just fished the
whole time.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Yeah, we only caught one.
Well, we caught a few smallfish, like small trout and
things like that, but thesockeye salmon were running when
we went sockeye yeah, sockeyesalmon good for you sockeye, so
(30:45):
I caught one sockeye.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
All I can picture is just like a really ugly fish
with like a sack, like a gymsack, on his head with one eye
poking no dude, these are thesesalmon.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Get the other ones.
They get really red and theyget their great big hook on
their like in their mouth.
They look, they look ugly shit.
They're the ones that getreally red and they get their
great big hook on their like intheir mouth.
They look ugly as shit whenthey're running, like when
they're about to die, like howugly.
Look up a picture sometime.
All right, they're ugly, butthey taste good.
Oh man, that one that we caughtwas phenomenal.
(31:25):
We took it back to the they hada fish cleaning station right
there in the river Then webagged it up and took it home
and cubed it up and cooked it up.
Man, it was great.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I wish I liked fish more.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
I'm not a big fan of salmon usually, but that was
good.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I'm not a huge like I like.
Do you like fish sticks?
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Fish sticks.
I mean, I guess Do you like toput fish sticks in your mouth?
What the hell are you gettingat?
Speaker 1 (31:59):
It's the last question.
Do you like to put fish sticksin your mouth?
No, damn it.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Is that your game for ?
Speaker 1 (32:11):
your shows, south Park thing, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
It's a kid in third grade that does a joke.
He's like do you like fishsticks?
Love them.
Do you like to put you likefish sticks?
Love them.
Do you like to put fish sticksin your mouth?
Yeah, You're a gay fish andeverybody in America understands
the joke.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
But Kanye West, he's the only one in America that
doesn't.
And he will not stop trying tofigure out.
He'll bring a doctor in.
He's like doctor, do I havegills?
He They'll bring a doctor andhe's like doctor, do I have
gills?
He does not have gills.
Then that's that.
I can't be gay.
Fish.
Next question.
And the guy's like do you likefish Diggs?
Speaker 3 (32:53):
And it just starts all over.
Oh man, but yeah, those are mysummer stories.
Man, you can't beat summer.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Bonfires, yeah, the lake.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I just put together the new fire pit a couple weeks
ago.
So we got to try that out.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Oh yeah.
But yeah, trying out a fire pitsounds weird, right, like it
sounds like we're going to jumpon it or try it out.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Yeah, but I put piping down in it to vent it, so
you don't get a bunch of smokeand shit.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So yeah, vent your pipes, dude that's dope vent
your pipes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
So I've got four pipes that come down.
They go about a foot deep,maybe a little bit more.
They come to the center andthen it comes up.
I've got some fittings thatcome up and then there's four
branches that come out in thetop and then one in the middle,
so there's airflow allunderneath the fire.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
If the fire wasn't going and I blew a hit in that,
would it come out?
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
That could be the coolest shotgun trick ever.
Watch this.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Oh, dude, you could light a bud in the middle and
you could have four peoplesucking on it.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Dude bukkake bud smoking One bud to rule them all
.
Yeah, that sounds really cool.
Yeah, you can do that I lovethe idea of mixing science with
pot smoking.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Like that's so cool.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Like if Bill Nye, the science guy, was out there, or
that fucking lady in that schoolbus that like used to go in a
nostril.
Remember that Like the magicschool bus.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was her name?
Miss Fanny.
It might have been.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Yeah, I think you're right, Miss Frizzle, frizzle,
yep.
H to the Frizzle, v to the S-I.
That whole song was about her,we know.
But like dude, imagine if shetook her magic little boss into
a joint and she's like now kids.
What this is is okay.
This is what we like to call asativa with a lot of turps to it
(35:01):
.
You see how it's sticky.
You see these little crystalshere.
That's a good sign.
Now what's happening is he'sgoing to inhale, it's going into
his lungs.
And watch his brain.
Now he's thinking about nothing, but right now all he can think
about is tacos, orange soda and, for some, some reason, ketchup
(35:23):
chips, tacos.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
All he can think about is tacos.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Dude.
Adidas should have been Adidatdude All day.
Wait what is Adidas again?
All day I dream about soccer,should be all day I dream about
tacos.
Dude, make it a weed brand.
You take that Adidas logo, dude, and you stretch it out a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
It looks like a bud.
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Adi-dat, because it helps both types of dudes.
Right yeah, that T can standfor titties or that T can stand
for tacos.
It's a double-edged fuckingsword.
And, if you like, both it'stitties and tacos Right.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Yeah, it could be two T's.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
A-D-Dat-Tat.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
And if your wife asks about it, it means Tom Brady
all day.
Think about Tom Brady.
What's he doing right now?
Is he throwing balls?
Is he deflating balls?
What is he doing?
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Now that he's done.
You know, oh man, oh shit yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
And then science, science.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Oh shit.
So what do we have?
So we've got our top fivetonight.
Worst things to bring to acookout Worst things to bring to
a cookout.
Now you messed up theassignment.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
I do it every time.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
You do, and you thought it was just food.
I did so.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
I got a couple that aren't food that.
I came up with on the spot.
Okay, yep, and they're prettyronchy.
I'm pretty excited to sharethat with the class.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Share that with the class.
All right, share that with theclass, alright, you go first.
What's your top five worstthings to bring to a barbecue, a
cookout or whatever?
I actually numbered these, theright way.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
I'm pretty fucking proud of that shit my personal
favorite, my personal favoriteYep nailed it.
My personal favorite is numberone Dude.
I'm just gonna say so the lastepisode there's just no shit.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
One, two, three, two, one.
That's how you numbered them inyour fucking book, as you were
writing them down.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
What the?
Speaker 2 (37:39):
fuck dude.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
I don't think you've ever gone one to five or five to
one, whichever I'm about to Oneto five.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
All right.
This is my personal favoritebecause I feel like every time I
go to one of these cookouts,this happens.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
The worst thing to me that you can bring is not a
food, dish or music.
Well, it is kind of music, butan acoustic guitar that no one
knows how to fucking play ohyeah, there's nothing worse than
that there's somebody thattries to play than a jack
johnson and impersonator who's?
I already don't like him much,so now you're impersonating him.
(38:18):
I don don't like it even more.
And every time you stop and say, fuck, I'll start over, I don't
like it that much more.
You're killing this artist'sdreams of me ever giving a fuck
every time you strum.
Number two your friend told youto bring something.
(38:45):
You had no idea what to grab,so you grabbed the hooker on the
corner, named Charlene, andintroduced her to your friends
as if she was a dish to pass.
No shit, oh man Kinda is.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Wow, this is Charlene .
Oh shit, oh man Kind of is.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Wow, this is Chardonnay.
You can also call her Charchak.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Wow, that's, that's.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
How did you know she was the one that's dark I
watched her.
I watched her.
I swear it again.
I watched her suck a gobstopperthrough a straw and I said
she's the one it's kind of likewhen I heard about my wife
(39:33):
clearing that eight foot bong.
Oh yeah you know, she's a ladyyou know, she's a lady the Okay,
ready for number three.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
The loudest fucking speaker ever and for some reason
all it plays is Cher's greatesthits, and you demand to play it
.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Oh fuck no.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Dude, that would kill any vibe.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Yeah, it really would .
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I don't believe in life after love you, stupid
bitch.
All right, Do you believe oh?
Speaker 2 (40:02):
man.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
You can't.
That would be awful, I knowthat would be absolutely awful.
Yeah, sure, if he had to setthrough that, I'd leave, I'd get
up and go, or like Moby, yeah,yeah, or like.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Germanoby, yeah, yeah , or like German chants from
back in the day, or somethinghorrible, I don't know.
I'm trying to think of otherthings that would drive me nuts,
do you?
Speaker 3 (40:30):
remember it was like I think it was back in the 90s,
when they actually had thatsoundtrack or that, that tape
that came out with those guys,the monks, chanting.
Do you remember that?
Oh my god, no, I'm serious,what the fuck does that sound?
(40:51):
It was like no, no, no, it waslike.
It was like it was just likethem chanting their, their
service, like their religion,their, what, what they would
normally do.
But they recorded it and theyput it out on a cassette tape
Seriously, yeah, and I can'tremember the.
(41:12):
Did you buy it?
Speaker 2 (41:14):
No.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
I never bought it, it's like the Peruvian flute
bands that were everywhere.
They play those little flutethings.
They'd want you to buy theirCDs.
Oh yeah, those little riverbands.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
Yeah, no, but I mean they only had.
I mean they only had obviouslylike one cassette or one thing
that came out, did they go on?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
tour.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Shumba Wumba opened.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
It was great, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Best concert of my life.
I knew all the words, didn'teven have to prepare for that
shit.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
But yeah, I believe it was either in the late 80s,
early 90s and it was chantinglike that.
I'll have to look it up seewhat it was.
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Number four, number four.
I just think this would beironic.
I have a couple friends and Iwas thinking about what they
could bring that would piss meoff.
You know what I mean, otherthan burgers that'll kill
everybody Cold.
Spaghettios in a Crock-Pot ohyeah, you didn't even heat them
up, motherfucker, just pouredthe can straight in like a
(42:20):
sociopath and just had thecrackpot for aesthetics.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Yeah, I thought the sun would heat it up Kind of
thing, oh man, yeah, that'd bebad, not cool.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I do like SpaghettiOs , oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
You know I'd spent a long time since I've had
SpaghettiOs, but I know that themeatballs aren't real meat.
There's no way.
You know it's like my proudversion of tofu that.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
I eat yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
You're welcome vegans .
I love SpaghettiOs.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I don't like the meatballs.
I don't like SpaghettiOs withmeatballs.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
No.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
I get them without.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I'm a strictly a no-meatball SpaghettiOs guy.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Well it might be complete opposites, and that's
why this is good right, you'rethe dude that loves single-stuff
Oreos, I'm going to smash adouble-stuff and make it a
quad-stuff, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:14):
Oh yeah, see I not the, not the doubles.
Oh no yeah it's.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
That's a whole different cracker bun.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
I mean, I like dipping it in milk, yeah, it's
just the tip, or the whole thing, the whole thing.
They're going to feel everyinch of that Oreo.
They're going to know.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I'm here the whole thing, man, yeah, and then just
crush it, but yeah, you don'tget the same consistency when
it's like a double stuffed orthe mega stuff or whatever.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Oh, single stuffed guy Dude, I have an idea and
like this is just kind of myhigh brain speaking.
But what about an Oreo with anelephant ear as the tops?
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Oh, dude, you've had my wife's snickerdoodle pies
right, sounds dirty as fuckYou've had them.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
They are, though they're so good, it's a
snickerdoodle cookie.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
And then some.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
I think it's like a buttercream filling and then
another snickerdoodle cookie andit's like, it's like an oatmeal
cream pie or something likethat, but it's with a
snickerdoodle.
They're the fucking bomb.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah, those are so good, yeah, oh, those are
bangers like orange push pops,you know.
Those are solidified as bangers.
Man Fuck.
Anyway, I got number five to go.
All right, all right.
So that's a pretty big cookout.
You ask if you can bring a plusone.
You're a single guy.
So your friends are like do youthink he's bringing a girl?
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Nah.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
You bring Jeffrey Dahmer with you, and he made
homemade burgers.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
You bring Jeffrey Dahmer with you and he made
homemade burgers.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Oh my God, wow.
Now do your friends know thatthis is Jeffrey Dahmer.
Like do they know him?
Speaker 1 (45:20):
He's already eaten.
The guy with the acousticguitar, that guy's gone.
We don't have to worry abouthim anymore.
Oh shit.
Yeah, they figured it out whenhe didn't want any of the meat.
Yeah, oh shit, he might, thoughhe brought the burgers Anyway,
yeah, weird guy.
I want to let everybody knowthat Jeffrey Dahmer did go to
(45:41):
Ohio State.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
I want to remind everybody that Jeffrey Dahmer
did go to Ohio State.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
Let me leave that with you All right.
So my top five Worst things tobring to a cookout.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Yeah.
So my first one here is youknow all of those Christmas time
people that get the fruit cakes.
You bring the fruit cake to thecookout in June or July that
you got in Christmas.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Oh my God, Like you gift it back.
Yeah, yeah, people give peoplefruit cakes.
I would be appalled.
That is worse than.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
Well, I don't.
Honestly, I've never gotten one.
I've never known anybody that'sgotten one.
I don't know how that, butthey're there.
Somebody likes them.
They're always there duringChristmas.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
So it's 2025, Brad Fruitcakes are everywhere.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
You got a point there , buddy.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
You got a point there I would be so pissed Like I
don't even get mad about socksanymore because they're useful
For me.
A fruitcake go fuck yourself.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
That is, that's worse than a Buckeye keychain.
That's fighting words, rightthere yeah, fruitcake.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
All right, Number two You'll remember this one from
back.
It's one of our first episodes.
I think they brought a turkeyloaf.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Dude.
Turkey loaf to the barbecue thespam of fine dining dude,
that's what a turkey loaf shouldbe the spam of fine dining.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
Do they still make those, the turkey loaves?
I don't know.
I've never went and looked forone.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
You'd have to find the only Kmart in the country.
I'll bet they still sell it.
Speaker 3 (47:30):
They might yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Or like Family Dollar .
Speaker 3 (47:33):
But can you imagine rolling up with a turkey loaf
and saying, here, throw this onthe grill.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
I'm hungry right now.
That just made my hunger turtleshell.
It's gone.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Number three Green bean casserole.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Fuck you.
That should just be off.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
That should be off limits at any cookout, any
christmas, any thanksgiving, anytime.
That's just off the menu for me, dude, that shit is nasty and I
don't know how anybody couldeat it dude, it should be called
green bean acerol that's itsnew name, dude it tastes like it
(48:18):
is new name.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
It does, yeah, green bean ass though dude anything
that you call a salad like whenit's like potato salad yeah,
fruit salad pass yeah I want ameat and potatoes bitch or some
chips.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
so what's?
A green bean assol?
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Some green bean acerol.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
Number four.
So you show up to the barbecuewith the grill right.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
A girl or a grill Grill.
Speaker 3 (48:50):
Grill, grill, but you don't bring any gas.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
You're out of gas Dude.
Is it an empty propane tank oris there?
Speaker 3 (48:57):
no propane tank, empty propane tank Like you roll
up and you're fired up and it'sjust nothing.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Oh yeah, your propane tank just dry shot.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
Yep, yep, shooting blanks?
No, I have.
So when I was working inHolland for a while and for
Christmas one year, we did aDude, I was in Holland today.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Okay, I didn't know you lived there, that's cool.
Speaker 3 (49:26):
I didn't live there, I worked there anyway.
So we did a a fry, we did adeep fry, we did a bunch of
chicken wings for the thirdshift and we did I don't know,
dude, we had like 50 or 60pounds of wings that we cooked
and we had two deep fryer, twobig turkey fryers, yeah, and
another kid that worked therewas he brought another one, he
(49:49):
brought a third one, so we'dhave plenty.
We did like onion rings, we didlike the stuffed mushrooms,
that like deep fried mushrooms.
We did I mean Oreos.
We didn't deep fry Oreos, fuckBrad.
But we did.
I mean Oreos, we didn't deepfry Oreos, fuck Brad.
But we did all that.
And we did the wings and thenwe had like a sauce that we
dipped them in and everything.
It was awesome, but the kidthat brought the third turkey
(50:12):
fryer no gas, what is that.
Well, he brought the gas tank,but there was no fucking gas in
it.
So we were down to two fryersand we thought we were.
So we were cooking for hours onthose two.
It was 50 pounds a week.
We probably did more than that,I don't know.
It was for the whole thirdshift.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
What a dick, yeah.
Who does that Him?
You could go swap it Blue Rhino, yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
But by then it would have been.
We just forget it.
We're just going to do two.
Damn it Dylan.
And then my number five.
So you roll up.
You roll up late.
How late, like an hour late.
You bring some to-go boxes.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Just start loading all the stuff that's left on the
counter into boxes and thenstart saying goodbye.
Yeah, peace them out.
Dude, it was so good seeing youguys for real.
Like just, oh my god, that'd besuch a funny viral video to do
on somebody Yep.
Just show up late, bring someto-go boxes.
We need to make a version ofPunk for, like, corporate people
(51:25):
.
Like a presentation that makesno sense.
Like get everybody in theoffice.
Like sexual awareness Wouldmake it super dirty.
Like, what do you notice inthis picture?
I notice her purses blue.
Like no, no, no, you notice hergiant tits.
Look at that.
See how it makes a smiley face.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
Right, that's what we're looking for oh shit, dude.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Any, that didn't make it.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
I have one that didn't make it.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
It's called kimchi, kimchi, kimchi, it's Vietnamese
fermented cabbage.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Oh, oh fuck, did I have that that one time?
Speaker 3 (52:09):
I don't know, I don't know if you it's so bad.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
It tastes like mint.
Speaker 3 (52:13):
I don't, I've never had it.
I've never had it, I just thatwas one that my wife came up
with.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
The one that I had.
That wasn't funny is justvegetables.
Speaker 3 (52:21):
That one's kind of good Vegetables Don't bring
vegetables, anything vegan, justkeep it out of the barbecue.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
Have you seen that?
Speaker 3 (52:32):
Have you seen that?
There's a?
I've seen it a few times.
There's a barbecue joint downsouth somewhere and their
favorite Yelp review like theyhave it on T-shirts now and it
says nothing on the menu isvegan and they put it on
T-shirts because it's theirfavorite Yelp review.
(52:53):
That's great.
Nothing vegan here this is abarbecue joint.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
Yeah, of course, there's nothing vegan here.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
Quinoa.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
Oh yeah, what about bachelor party?
Dick-shaped candy put in a jarand label it?
Taste my Nuts.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
Taste the rainbow bitch.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Cold Little Caesars from three nights before, folded
in a Ziploc bag like a wallet,and any time stuff goes down you
pull it out like currency topay for things you know, like
five bucks a cup, and you'rejust like, yeah, got you.
Like it's worth five bucks Agallon jug of Tang with live
(53:37):
goldfish swimming in it, andwe'll call it Tropical Punch.
Oh man live goldfish swimmingin it, and we'll call it
Tropical Punch.
I think Chef Boyardee, cold ina Frisbee, would be hilarious to
bring to a cookout or Jell-Omade with THC, but tell nobody.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
Pudding with Viagra in it.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
Oh shit.
What would that do to women?
Speaker 1 (54:05):
I don't know, probably go the other way for
them.
Speaker 3 (54:09):
Does it make their clit hurt?
Speaker 1 (54:12):
Is that a thing?
I don't know?
Dude, I don't Whoa the man inthe boat just standing up, dude,
I thought like a rubber, orlike a big old rubber, like a
(54:32):
magnum, but full, full of queso,would be ironic to do a cookout
he just like in a condom hejust poked the end and squirted
out dude, dude, yeah, or likeshots, you do shots that way.
Come on, get this Sushi.
Speaker 3 (54:47):
Oh dude, I like sushi .
Speaker 1 (54:48):
Or your ex -girlfriend that you're trying
to make up with, but you bringher to the barbecue to make up
with her.
Speaker 3 (54:54):
None of us want to hear that.
No, yeah, just stop.
Yeah, stop with the drama, cansomeone?
Speaker 1 (54:59):
put Cher in it's painful.
Yeah, stop with the drama.
Speaker 3 (55:01):
Can someone put Cher in?
It's so bad we want Cherinstead.
Speaker 1 (55:07):
Oh my God.
But yeah, summer should be fun.
Speaker 3 (55:10):
Oh yeah, dude.
Speaker 1 (55:14):
Dude, I got two different.
I have a concert, a trip and adude's trip all within Jackie
Robinson days, motherfucker.
Yeah, can't wait to report back.
I have a funny feeling that I'mgoing to have some stories for
this podcast about that kind oflike the raccoon.
Speaker 3 (55:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
Dude, I'm nervous to get high out there tonight.
Why, yeah, I'll try to get theselfie.
Speaker 3 (55:39):
I'll see what I can do.
Yeah, take a picture of theraccoon.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
I got to name him.
Speaker 3 (55:43):
Ralph yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:46):
Ralph the raccoon.
Yeah, something cooler.
I don't know, like Randy,that's Chelsea's dad, isn't?
Speaker 3 (55:55):
it, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
Ruben, Ruben or Rupert.
Speaker 3 (56:05):
Rupert the raccoon.
Yeah, rocky, he could beRaphael, like one of the turtles
.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
Dude If he eats pizza too dude.
If I just found a raccoon thatsmokes weed, likes cartoons and
eats pizza, we're going to behomies, for sure you can't throw
in some jacks out there.
Oh shit, do my leftover jacksyeah.
Speaker 3 (56:32):
Is there any leftover really?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, I usually eat half of those, so my dog gets
all fucking geek because heknows he's about to get a couple
.
Speaker 3 (56:42):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:42):
Because Chelsea's so pizza'd out.
Dude, because I love it.
It's part of my food pyramid,like everyone else's food
pyramid.
Has all these things on it,dude.
When it's like pizza, tacos,burgers, chicken nuggets, and
then like ruffles or Tostitosand peanut butter M&Ms.
That's my food pyramid and aslong as I stick to my main food
groups, you know like.
Speaker 3 (57:06):
Yeah, yeah, pizza and tacos.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yeah, I could live on those two.
Speaker 3 (57:13):
Yeah, oh yeah, definitely All right, man.
I think that's about wraps itup.
I hope everybody enjoyed theshow.
We're going to get back intosome regular shows, some regular
grooves.
I know our last two were kindof different which is cool.
(57:34):
We had a lot of good commentson the last two though.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
We did.
Speaker 3 (57:38):
Well, not on here.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Oh yeah, from like Justin, and yeah, you've gotten
some good feedback.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
So, dude, they're dope, yeah, so yeah, oh.
Speaker 1 (57:48):
And if you want to get a hold of us, brad, oh yeah,
it's at rowdandloudy atgmailcom, just like it sounds,
I'm just kidding r-o-w-d-a-n-d,l-o-d-l-o-u-d-y at gmailcom, and
you can listen to our previousepisodes on however you're
listening.
We're on Apple, spotify,youtube.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
We're all over.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
Porn Hub.
Oh my God.
Speaker 3 (58:14):
Those are just Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.
I get rowdy and loudy.
All right, everybody.
Hope you had a good time withus.
Stick around and check out thenext episodes.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
If you're lucky.
Speaker 3 (58:28):
Yeah, if you're lucky .
Speaker 1 (58:29):
If you play your fucking cards right, we'll put
them out.
Dude, we're going to put out sohard and we are going to do one
episode live from the Bar BauerBash, if we can figure that out
.
Speaker 3 (58:39):
Absolutely.
Yeah, that's no problem.
Yeah, I from the barbara bash.
Speaker 1 (58:42):
If we can figure that out, absolutely yeah, that's no
problem.
Yeah, I'll make sure we got tobring an extra mic, because I
have a funny feeling we're gonnahave like three or four guests
that day.
Speaker 3 (58:46):
It's just gonna be like I've got, yeah, I've got,
I've got four mics we can, wecan light up.
Speaker 1 (58:51):
So sounds bad too, like four mics, you know like.
Hi, I'm michael, how are?
Speaker 3 (58:58):
you yeah all right everybody.
Uh, thanks for listening.
Yeah, hope you enjoyed the show.
Yep, we'll catch you on thenext episode.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
All right, all right, peace All right.
and the card would say no, dude, we're going, we're
on, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome to the Round and Loudy Podcast.
This is Eric.
I'm joined here today with mybest friend, brad, and, uh, holy
shit, it's episode 13.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
For the people that have listened.
Thank you For the people thathaven't.
You don't know what you'remissing, bud.
They don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
They're missing, they don't know they're not gonna
hear this, they're never gonnaknow, and that's the worst part
ever.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah, it is tonight.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
We're talking summer we're talking, it's summertime,
it's getting there.
I know in there spring like therascal flats song.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
We're talking actual summer.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
It feels like summer today.
Yeah, that's like 84 out, Ithink.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
We're talking hot sun and titties and buns, Brad.
That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
It doesn't have to be hot, sun and titties.
Man, I'm there.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Hot sun, titties and buns.
You know Ka-ka, but yeah, soour last episode is a little bit
of a breeze.
We had a great time.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
It was a 420 episode.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So if you want to know how to plan a good stony
day, it doesn't have to be 420.
Just maybe start it at 420.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
You know, but like tell someone like me 410.
That way I'll get there righton time.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
When we started recording tonight I told Brad
that I had a really funny storyand I kind of wanted to tell it
on the air the hell, yeah, manokay so let me paint a picture
for you.
Okay, so we put my little sonto bed last night it's probably
about 10 o'clock, okay and Ihung out with Chelsea, okay, so
(02:14):
she, she starts, she goes to bedand I go out on our front porch
.
So this is last night.
Yeah, smoking Shocked, I knowRight.
Yeah, shocker, yeah, so I.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Shocked, I know Right , yeah, shocker.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah, so I'm smoking and it's humid and warm out now.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I'm blowing smoke dude out the door.
I'm kind of standing in thedoorway looking out right I hear
the tree dude and it's like andmy high S is like whoa like,
not like like another funnypiggy story.
Real quick piggyback story foryou.
One time I was outside I amcertain that I heard gunshots
(02:54):
dude, but I was high enough thatI was just I like normal me
would have been like what thefuck?
We're in the middle of, madawan, who's who's shooting right now
?
Right?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
yeah, I yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I just stared there, I was like, well, sometimes
people got to die, you know, ohmy.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
God dude.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
So this time I'm looking out, I'm staring at this
tree, but I'm smoking, and Ilook down and there is a fucking
huge raccoon staring at me.
Oh, no shit Like a fuckingmonster raccoon dude, raccoon
staring at me.
Oh no shit.
Fucking monster raccoon dudeand I, I can't decide, like in
the moment, like, is this reallife?
(03:31):
Right or is this really goodbud?
It's real, was it?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
was it talking to you , dude?
Huge fucking raccoon was ittalking though do they talk Well
?
No, but if it was really goodweed, it might have started to
talk to you.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Dude, if we can get raccoons hooked on phonics, I
mean, I'm sure they have extraunits laying around ever since,
I don't know, the internet wasinvented.
Yeah, dude, this fuckingraccoon could eat a fucking
squirrel hole as an appetizer inorder seconds.
This dude was huge.
No shit, but it just kind offreaked me out because how
(04:09):
comfortable he was.
I went out and the funniestpart- about the story to me is
that every time I went outside Iforgot it's working right.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
So, like I mean, I went out a couple times to smoke
cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
The second time I had to go get my pack right,
completely forgot.
Giant fucking raccoon.
I look up, dude.
He is fucking in the tree likepretty much taking a senior
photo, dude, you know just likehis paws around and be like
what's up, motherfucker.
And then I thought even deeperand I'm like I smoke a lot of
weed right here, right, I wonderif I'm getting this dude high
and egging him on.
Can you imagine how much food asuper stoned fat?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
raccoon could eat.
So did you know that a raccoon,if it's out in the wild next to
a cornfield, it will eat up toseven pounds of corn a day.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Dude, what's attracting this thing?
Is it the shit from my?
Speaker 3 (05:10):
son, maybe it's your weed.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Dude, yeah, he probably loves it.
Dude, if I get stoned with araccoon, the Easter bunny can
get fucked.
What if, some night, dude, youhear your phone go off at like
1045 and you just see eric dude,we almost had to, yeah, and
it's just a picture of me likefucking arm around and he's
(05:36):
hitting the dude his eyes are,his eyes are glazed over, but it
just blew my mind.
I mean, nothing happened, it wasfine, but, like dude, when I
went out to my car for thesecond time, like by the third
time, I knew better.
I was out there with a fuckingflashlight, and then I thought
to myself even further like Igot to worry about spiders and
(05:57):
raccoons now, this is somehorror shit.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Apparently, you don't have to worry about the raccoon
.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
It's just there to hang out.
I youtubed it, though there wasa rabbit raccoon in like a
neighborhood in troy, michigan.
You can watch that video.
It's all these like privilegedass like white ladies, just like
I was.
I was disturbed.
We called animal control andthey told us to call the police
oh no the police told us itwasn't their their fucking
problem.
And then we called dnr and theysaid it wasn't their fucking
problem.
It's like who is gonna come andget this rabid raccoon?
(06:27):
You?
gotta watch, it's great and Iwas thinking to myself like,
dude, if this was me and brad,we would have been out there
already with a blow dart gunbuilding.
He would have been tranked andwe would have had that fucker in
a dog cage.
Five minutes later no one evencalled the news station.
Yeah, yeah, because then I keptnagging my wife on it.
I was like do we call the newspeople?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
She's like what I was like.
I think I'm going to get a ladyhere in a pantsuit stat.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Yeah, you know.
So yeah, no shit Smoking weedon a summer night.
Look up for raccoons.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, watch out for the raccoons man.
That's a fucked up storybecause your tree is not very
far from your front door, I knowand dude, I'm a creature of
habit, right?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
yeah, yeah, it's gotta know, so it's gotta know
exactly I bet it was gettingbaked I'll bet he's hired and
shit and he goes and terrorizesthe neighbors dude, do you ever
like flick your roach?
Oh yeah, so he might be eatingthat stuff and getting fucking
high as shit my wife will getmad if I invite him in to watch
cartoons and see how far thisfriendship goes, dude it
(07:39):
probably the pictures that Isaid you just get worse and
worse, like first has me armaround him.
Second is me just die laughing.
He's on the couch next to meeating Doritos Shit.
Oh man, oh my God.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Well, hey, we got to go over the top three from last
episode.
So last episode was a banger,dude.
You had me rolling.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I was laughing my ass off, dude you helped me so much
in the moment too with thatSlurpee and that lid Like that
was just heroic as fuck.
Take the fucking turn off.
You know what grinds my gearshow these Slurpee straws do not
reach rock bottom.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah.
So to put this in perspectiveokay, so it's a Slurpee.
It's got the domed lid on topthe straw's sticking out just
barely right.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
And Eric's trying to get that fucking straw.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
So I'm like dude take the fucking lid off and it's
like perfect, the straw goesright up to the hole.
Yep, but I had to get the Mega.
I just had to get the Mega one.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Oh my God, so we solved it.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Take the fucking lid off.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
All right.
So we did some strains, somegood names for strains, on our
420 episode, and the top threeare as follows Number three the
Big Leblonski Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Donnie and Sparky.
That was awesome Packed withthat.
Don't give a fuck flavor.
Yeah, it's the kind of weedthat always abides.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Number two Jurassic Spark.
If you're a dinosaur lover,jurassic Spark Dude just don't
open the back seat.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Do you remember that when that little fucking thing
came out of the way.
Oh yeah, he's like oh look,it's all cute dude Raccoon.
That's what I'm worried about,right?
Yeah, I get too close right.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Oh yeah, what if I start smoking with it?
Rabid raccoon Right, it's goingto get pissed and steal all
your.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
You've got to watch that YouTube video dude I do
Google rabid raccoon in.
Troy Michigan.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
It's fucking hysterical dude, I'll check it
out and our number one this isEric's number one Skunk jizz.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Smells like Hot Topic body spray.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
That was awesome dude , I laughed my ass off.
You just I don't know how thehell you pull that shit out of
your brain, or I don't knowwhere it comes from, but I mean,
and you did it like it was anactual commercial.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
You're welcome, so I just the people deserve my best
Right Dude.
The worst part, though, is thatwe did that 420 episode, and
then I watched all my 420 moviesand I had so many ideas, so we
got to do almost another ganjaepisode.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Like half baked dude, like when we're talking
munchies.
We almost should have playedthat clip, oh yeah, it was like
what talking munchies?
We almost should have playedthat clip.
Oh yeah, like, what do you need?
We need two pizzas, man,everything on them.
We need sour cream and onionchips, man, with some dip, whole
lot of dip.
We need haagen-dazs, whole lotof haagen-dazs better be
chocolate.
We need haagen-dazs, uh andfungans.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Funkins, funkins.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
That was a great movie, man, oh that's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I watched Friday the other day.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Actually, I think I did.
I watched it on Sunday.
That's a great movie.
I watched Friday.
You know what's weird.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Chris Tucker didn't want to make Next Friday and
Friday after Next because hedidn't want to be in a movie
that was pro-marijuana.
Oh, really yeah.
The second and third are stillreally good because mike epps is
in it and he's yeah hilarious,yeah, um, but yeah, no kidding
(11:36):
it's interesting so it's not thesame.
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Chris tucker kills me oh, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
First friday was even , uh, even those rush hours are
pretty fucking funny.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I dig them.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yeah, those are funny .
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Because Jackie Chan's just so dry and.
Chris Tucker is so over the top.
Yeah, yep, holy fuck, that'slike us.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Dude you're.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Jackie Chan, but you speak so much better English.
Right, yeah, you definitely gotRosetta Stone for Christmas.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
I was hooked on phonics.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
I'm hooked on phonics , Dude.
You could sell something withthe cheesiest shit back then.
I would have been on fire, dude, if I was selling in the 90s,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Yeah, you'd have been selling weed in the 90s though.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I don't know.
I've never really been intothat side of it.
I'm more of a purchaser Right.
You know the whole.
Don't get high on your ownsupply.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Yeah, I would yeah.
So what's your funny or summerstory that you have for us
tonight?
Sure Not to put you on the spotor anything.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
No.
So Marcellus, michigan, okay,not too far from here.
I had a lake house for like ayear right on the water, which
was cool.
But like when I say lake, likeyou could see all the sides of
the lake from the dock right,like it's a big pond, so it was
(13:13):
like a pond.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah, okay, still fun , though, right?
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Absolutely.
So I had a bunch of people overand you know I'm probably I
don't know over and uh, you knowI'm probably, I don't know, I
think I moved in, probably march, something like that.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
So okay, so probably around now.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I probably had a cookout with people where it was
like finally getting 70s yeah,yep and I had like 15 people
over, like all my buddies fromcollege, so this I would have
been I don't know 25.
Okay, shit, that's crazy tothink about.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
But uh, so this was how long ago 10 years ago 10
years ago 11.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Fuck.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Whatever?
But so I had a bunch of peopleover and it was awesome.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
But like, uh, you know me, dude, with a lot of
things going on.
So I mean, we're smoking, we'rehanging out like hanging out by
the water, we're playing bags,we're playing.
I didn't say cornhole we'replaying bags we're hanging out,
music's going, so everybody'shanging out doing their thing,
like people are kayaking, peopleare out.
I had a jet ski.
People were running around thelake.
(14:26):
I didn't give a shit, yeah, um,so I was cooking, right.
Well, I had pulled the burgersout of the freezer that that day
, like not night before, butyeah day.
So it was like probably I don'tknow three o'clock and I'm
cooking at like six.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And I start cooking and the burgers are looking
awesome dude and everyone atelike dude 15 people Like.
One of my buddies was actuallysick.
He's like on dialysis.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And so I look over dude and I'm cooking.
It's like that cool momentwhere I finally made it.
It's my place.
I'm looking out, I'm like fuckyeah.
Everyone's here for me.
And then I realized that, like,people are like heaving when
they're eating these burgers,dude, and I'm like what the fuck
is going on?
Like I cooked them good, likedude.
(15:16):
I cooked them for a long time.
Like I don't know what thefuck's going on.
They weren't fully unthawed,buddy, so the middle of them was
just fucking raw as fuck.
Dude Like dude, like five orsix people got sick.
I felt fucking terrible and theworst part was I didn't even
(15:36):
eat one because I'm cooking LikeI'm trying to you know host.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah, I felt fucking terrible dude.
I almost killed all my friendsand didn't mean to wow but like
you're a hell of a guy it'sreally hard to tell, though,
once it's on the grill rightlike.
I realize my mistake.
I'm dumb, I'm not.
I'm not claiming any like yeah,you know yeah but once you get
it on the grill, when you don'tyou know it's, it's really hard
(16:02):
to tell once it starts to brown.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And obviously I could , yeah, but if it's still oozing
blood out of it.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
You know it's not done.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
And I think that's probably the problem.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
You know, I didn't have a lifeguard on duty.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
It said grill at your own risk, and I did.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Well, it should have been eat at your own risk.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Oh dude, what if a girl had that on her shirt?
Yes, Like the Rolling Stonestongue.
Oh yeah, Eat at your own risk.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Nice, that's a banger shirt.
We should have that.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
We should have that, we should get that one.
That'd be it.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
That should be their final tour yeah there's some hot
chick dude rolling stones,tongue right down where it
should be eat at your own risk.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
So my summertime story I actually have something
to go.
It's very similar to yours,very similar.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
So but this was not me cooking.
I'm glad okay.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
I'm glad okay so this was, it was a cookout, it was
actually at uh, in marcellus, Ithink I was at this fucking
asshole house and I got a rawburger I thought he was so
fucking funny too.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
That was the worst part.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
So this was actually at a boss's house one of my
bosses Boss.
Well, so it was my boss's houseand the owner we had a big
party, like there was a bigemployee, you know all the
employees, all this companyparty, and the owner shows up
(17:48):
and he shows up late Likeeverybody's there, everybody's
getting ready to eat, and heshows up late and he has salmon.
He has, I think it was pork,like a pork loin or something
along those lines.
(18:08):
And he's going to cook it andthere's a smoker, and my boss
had the smoker going alreadybecause he figured that he would
be there early and start it andwhatever.
But the owner dude, he's overthere, he's yelling at everybody
because he's, he's drunk, okay,he's yelling at everybody and
(18:31):
he, he sets the smoker on firelike the top of the paint of the
, the smoking like you have thatbeing on the side with the
smoke and your wood chips andstuff like that are supposed to
be in and then it's supposed tosmoke into the other barrel or
(18:54):
the other chamber.
And he had that so hot, thepaint was peeling off of the top
of the smoker.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Right, holy shit.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
It's hot as shit in there.
How big of a smoker, big onenot real big, I mean yeah like a
keg flip yeah yeah, about thatsize, and so he's going to end
this.
I mean, the fire's just ragingout of this thing, right, and he
, he gets to the point where hethinks it's done, right, brings
(19:26):
it in and starts carving.
People are trying to cut thisthing with a knife and it's so
fucking raw.
It's just the salmon.
How do you not get salmon done?
But it wasn't done.
The salmon wasn't done,everything it was just abysmal.
(19:47):
Just nothing was nothing wascooked.
Luckily we had.
We had shrimp that, uh, my bosshad actually brought in, so I I
cooked that in like a bigsteamer pot.
That was.
That was awesome.
And then there was some burgersand some other stuff that you
know that other people hadcooked.
Luckily we had enough food.
(20:09):
But dude it was.
I've never seen somebody get asmoker.
It's a grill, so that fuckinghot that it's how is it still
raw?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
yeah, exactly how the fuck does that happen?
I don't even understand, likebecause how the fuck does that
happen?
I don't even understand, likebecause you'd think of it being
hot peeling paint off Right.
The food would have gottencooked.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
You'd think so.
You'd think so.
It might have been frozen.
You have to smoke.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I mean also.
I mean side note.
You're probably supposed to putthat on a grill first and then
smoke it to get the flavor right.
Yes, Absolutely yes absolutelyso he skipped a step.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Yeah, oh yeah, there was a lot of steps that were
skipped.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
I guess I shouldn't be playing lifeguard.
No one wants a drunk lifeguard.
I shouldn't be coaching.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
The only step that wasn't skipped was the amount of
beer that was being drank.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
And you saved the day .
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I didn't save the day .
No, I'm not the hero.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, you're right, I'm not the hero of this story,
Taco Bell is.
Her name was Gretchen.
Let me tell you that night shegot my order just right,
Stretching Gretchen.
Shout out to Gretchen.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Stretching Gretchen.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
She got my order, just right.
Oh my God, Every time, everytime, every time, oh my god, uh,
so what else you got going onman like right now yeah right
now.
What's life?
What's life like for eric?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
it's kind of wild bud .
Yeah, growing a new business.
Yeah, uh, newborn.
Well, seven month, I don't knowwhen you can stop saying
newborn, but baby baby uh, acouple like fucking nagging
friends?
No, but honestly, um what?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
are you trying to say Eric?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Right now I'm really excited I'm going to see ACDC in
six days.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Nice With Papa Hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
In Detroit.
I'm fucking geeked Nice.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Where's that?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
In.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Detroit In Ford Field .
I really like Detroit.
It's weird, but I have a thingwith that city yeah.
Every time I go to a concert,there go and hang out.
There go, Tigers.
I used to go to Warped Tour inthe Comerica parking lot.
I used to all the time.
So me and Pop are going to seeACDC and then I'm flying out.
(22:38):
So that's on a Wednesday nextweek Yep Friday Flying to
fucking Phoenix buddy.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Nice yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Going to.
So me and my friend Jack arehuge fans of a couple bands that
are playing.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Like we love Point North, we love we came as Romans
.
Seether and A Day to Remember.
Okay, but like Point North'sone of my favorite bands.
Like I love them.
A Day to Remember's one of myfavorite bands.
A Day to Remember's way upthere for me like top three.
Yeah, I've seen them.
I've seen them 15 times,probably nice.
So see there, I've seen withthe, with uh jacko, a couple
(23:12):
times too.
Yeah, I was fucking geeked hellyeah, I'm just that sounds like
a great to go hang out with himand also go do something that
like we look like like he's beenmy concert buddy forever, so
like it's, it's just, it's justa fact, like yeah I don't know
what he's not.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
He's not able to make it to the bart bauer bash this
year.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
No and that's fine, I understand, like I totally get
it.
I actually have to talk withhim.
Or like, dude, you're infucking phoenix, like yeah you
coming here is crazy I get it,you know do it.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
If you can, I get it hell yeah, what a cool dude
though like I'm dude, I'm justedto go stay with him and his
wife.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Yeah, they're fucking awesome.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, he works at the concert hall.
He actually works with wherethe Cardinals play, okay, and
does security.
Nice, so he gets to get realclose to artists and stuff.
Sweet, he also works at Hertz,you know.
But dude, he's the coolestfucking dude yeah there's a lot
(24:10):
of money in rental cars, though.
Ton of it oh, yeah, and he'syeah, damn hard worker kind of
dude like he always has beencool as shit and hard worker
nice but yeah, I'm geeked to gosee him man like that'll be a
good it's kindof my way to return the favor
too for him coming to barbaralike that was.
So that was so cool.
Oh yeah, wasn't he a coolfucking guy?
Hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yeah, that's super cool Dude we had.
I mean, I had a great time witheverybody there.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, me too.
I mean, it was just it was agood time, dude.
I can't my dad, my brother,yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Papa.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Who else is coming?
Oh we got Rusty, yep, dave,dave.
Yeah, we got 13 people, 12, 12?
.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, that's going to be a good time.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
And if you don't know what we're talking about, it's
a dude's trip where we just getpretty fucked up and hang out
golf, play poker yeah play bags,do whatever yeah, I'm excited
we got 40 some days jackierobinson 42 we'll never forget
brad, anyway.
Um so actually I got one morequick story about summer.
(25:27):
Oh, yeah so, same house, I got ajet ski, like I said, right,
yeah, I had so much bad,unfortunate luck with that dude,
like so the lake was tiny.
Um, one time I remember I had afriend over and like, dude, we
were just doing crazy shit onthe jet ski, like we were making
our own waves and trying tojump them and stuff, just being
stupid.
I hit a wave so hard, dude,that I beached it, and there was
(25:51):
an embankment, dude, like likea concrete oh yeah beached it.
Jesus still ran.
And then a different time, I'mout there with lucy and we're in
the middle of the fucking lakeand it dies.
I'm fucking swimming this showone-handed like a dumb dumb.
My little daughter's on therelike three years old, oh, no
(26:14):
shit, yeah no shit, that suckslake houses are a lot of fun,
but a lot of crazy upkeep likeit's crazy like even like, like,
if, getting all the weeds outof, like, the beach area where
you're going to be.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah, awful Yep.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Constant pain in the ass.
I grew up on a lake, so Snakeseverywhere.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yep Snakes muskrats all kinds of different bugs.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Mosquitoes dude.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah, mosquitoes are nasty, it's like an orgy dude,
while you're out there Like Godheaven forbid you go by the
water at night.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
You're fucked.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
You're fucked.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Yeah, yep, I mean it's a breeding ground for
mosquitoes.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
so oh yeah, dude, they just blah, blah, blah blah.
Can you put some Frank Sinatrain?
I want to bang all theseskeeters from there.
We're about to multiply up inthis bitch.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Yeah, I lived down the lake until my eighth grade
year in school.
Then we moved into town Did youguys have a boat.
We did for a little bit.
Well, we had a speed boat whenI was really young and then we
just had a like a little fishingboat the rest of the time.
(27:34):
So, but my grandpa, so theycall it a john boat.
They do, they call it a johnboat.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Why is it a john boat and a john doe?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
why is it?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
always john.
I don't know, johns are cool.
I guess I call it a John Boat.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Why is it a John Boat and a John Doe?
Why is it always John?
I don't know, johns are cool.
I guess you go to the John.
It's a John Boat, it's a JohnDoe, I don't know your Johnson
gets hard.
John, sometimes it's inpurgatory.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Beatles, John Lennon, so many Johns.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeah, long, john, long John.
Yeah, I don't know it's weird,but yeah.
So we lived on a lake and mygrandfather would always come to
, so he lived in California andhe would drive.
They had a fifth wheel and theywould drive all the way to
Michigan, stay for two or threeweeks when I was off on, you
(28:26):
know, spring or summer vacationor summer break, whatever, from
school, and then are you havinga.
Are you fucking okay?
Over there dude.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
So he would come by and then we'd just fish.
We'd like the three weeks, we'dfish every day and that was
awesome.
And then he would drive frommichigan all the way up to
alaska and then they would staythere for a couple months,
whatever fish every day.
I mean, he was just a hugefisherman and then they drive
back to to California.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I love fish.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Yeah, that was kind of my every summer deal.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
My grandfather would come and hang out and fish.
Did you go to Alaska with him?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I never got to go to Alaska with him.
I got to go to Alaska one timewith my dad and my mom.
We actually flew to.
Well, I flew to Anchorage andmy mom and dad were already
there.
They went on a 10-day land tourkind of thing.
(29:40):
They took the train fromAnchorage up to Fairbanks, spent
some time in the sightseeingand stuff like that.
They they got to do some likedog sledding stuff and you know
just, it was cool, you know, forthem to see.
And then they, when they cameback to Anchorage, I flew in and
then my dad and I my mom's notreally much of a fisherman, so
(30:06):
my dad and I went to the KenaiRiver and then we went to the
Russian River and I think therewas one other river that we
stopped at around the KenaiPeninsula and we just fished the
whole time.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Yeah, we only caught one.
Well, we caught a few smallfish, like small trout and
things like that, but thesockeye salmon were running when
we went sockeye yeah, sockeyesalmon good for you sockeye, so
(30:45):
I caught one sockeye.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
All I can picture is just like a really ugly fish
with like a sack, like a gymsack, on his head with one eye
poking no dude, these are thesesalmon.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Get the other ones.
They get really red and theyget their great big hook on
their like in their mouth.
They look, they look ugly shit.
They're the ones that getreally red and they get their
great big hook on their like intheir mouth.
They look ugly as shit whenthey're running, like when
they're about to die, like howugly.
Look up a picture sometime.
All right, they're ugly, butthey taste good.
Oh man, that one that we caughtwas phenomenal.
(31:25):
We took it back to the they hada fish cleaning station right
there in the river Then webagged it up and took it home
and cubed it up and cooked it up.
Man, it was great.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I wish I liked fish more.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
I'm not a big fan of salmon usually, but that was
good.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I'm not a huge like I like.
Do you like fish sticks?
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Fish sticks.
I mean, I guess Do you like toput fish sticks in your mouth?
What the hell are you gettingat?
Speaker 1 (31:59):
It's the last question.
Do you like to put fish sticksin your mouth?
No, damn it.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Is that your game for ?
Speaker 1 (32:11):
your shows, south Park thing, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
It's a kid in third grade that does a joke.
He's like do you like fishsticks?
Love them.
Do you like to put you likefish sticks?
Love them.
Do you like to put fish sticksin your mouth?
Yeah, You're a gay fish andeverybody in America understands
the joke.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
But Kanye West, he's the only one in America that
doesn't.
And he will not stop trying tofigure out.
He'll bring a doctor in.
He's like doctor, do I havegills?
He They'll bring a doctor andhe's like doctor, do I have
gills?
He does not have gills.
Then that's that.
I can't be gay.
Fish.
Next question.
And the guy's like do you likefish Diggs?
Speaker 3 (32:53):
And it just starts all over.
Oh man, but yeah, those are mysummer stories.
Man, you can't beat summer.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Bonfires, yeah, the lake.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
I just put together the new fire pit a couple weeks
ago.
So we got to try that out.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Oh yeah.
But yeah, trying out a fire pitsounds weird, right, like it
sounds like we're going to jumpon it or try it out.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Yeah, but I put piping down in it to vent it, so
you don't get a bunch of smokeand shit.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So yeah, vent your pipes, dude that's dope vent
your pipes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
So I've got four pipes that come down.
They go about a foot deep,maybe a little bit more.
They come to the center andthen it comes up.
I've got some fittings thatcome up and then there's four
branches that come out in thetop and then one in the middle,
so there's airflow allunderneath the fire.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
If the fire wasn't going and I blew a hit in that,
would it come out?
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
That could be the coolest shotgun trick ever.
Watch this.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Oh, dude, you could light a bud in the middle and
you could have four peoplesucking on it.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Dude bukkake bud smoking One bud to rule them all
.
Yeah, that sounds really cool.
Yeah, you can do that I lovethe idea of mixing science with
pot smoking.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Like that's so cool.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Like if Bill Nye, the science guy, was out there, or
that fucking lady in that schoolbus that like used to go in a
nostril.
Remember that Like the magicschool bus.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was her name?
Miss Fanny.
It might have been.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Yeah, I think you're right, Miss Frizzle, frizzle,
yep.
H to the Frizzle, v to the S-I.
That whole song was about her,we know.
But like dude, imagine if shetook her magic little boss into
a joint and she's like now kids.
What this is is okay.
This is what we like to call asativa with a lot of turps to it
(35:01):
.
You see how it's sticky.
You see these little crystalshere.
That's a good sign.
Now what's happening is he'sgoing to inhale, it's going into
his lungs.
And watch his brain.
Now he's thinking about nothing, but right now all he can think
about is tacos, orange soda and, for some, some reason, ketchup
(35:23):
chips, tacos.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
All he can think about is tacos.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Dude.
Adidas should have been Adidatdude All day.
Wait what is Adidas again?
All day I dream about soccer,should be all day I dream about
tacos.
Dude, make it a weed brand.
You take that Adidas logo, dude, and you stretch it out a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
It looks like a bud.
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Adi-dat, because it helps both types of dudes.
Right yeah, that T can standfor titties or that T can stand
for tacos.
It's a double-edged fuckingsword.
And, if you like, both it'stitties and tacos Right.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Yeah, it could be two T's.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
A-D-Dat-Tat.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
And if your wife asks about it, it means Tom Brady
all day.
Think about Tom Brady.
What's he doing right now?
Is he throwing balls?
Is he deflating balls?
What is he doing?
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Now that he's done.
You know, oh man, oh shit yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
And then science, science.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Oh shit.
So what do we have?
So we've got our top fivetonight.
Worst things to bring to acookout Worst things to bring to
a cookout.
Now you messed up theassignment.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
I do it every time.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
You do, and you thought it was just food.
I did so.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
I got a couple that aren't food that.
I came up with on the spot.
Okay, yep, and they're prettyronchy.
I'm pretty excited to sharethat with the class.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Share that with the class.
All right, share that with theclass, alright, you go first.
What's your top five worstthings to bring to a barbecue, a
cookout or whatever?
I actually numbered these, theright way.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
I'm pretty fucking proud of that shit my personal
favorite, my personal favoriteYep nailed it.
My personal favorite is numberone Dude.
I'm just gonna say so the lastepisode there's just no shit.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
One, two, three, two, one.
That's how you numbered them inyour fucking book, as you were
writing them down.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
What the?
Speaker 2 (37:39):
fuck dude.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
I don't think you've ever gone one to five or five to
one, whichever I'm about to Oneto five.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
All right.
This is my personal favoritebecause I feel like every time I
go to one of these cookouts,this happens.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
The worst thing to me that you can bring is not a
food, dish or music.
Well, it is kind of music, butan acoustic guitar that no one
knows how to fucking play ohyeah, there's nothing worse than
that there's somebody thattries to play than a jack
johnson and impersonator who's?
I already don't like him much,so now you're impersonating him.
(38:18):
I don don't like it even more.
And every time you stop and say, fuck, I'll start over, I don't
like it that much more.
You're killing this artist'sdreams of me ever giving a fuck
every time you strum.
Number two your friend told youto bring something.
(38:45):
You had no idea what to grab,so you grabbed the hooker on the
corner, named Charlene, andintroduced her to your friends
as if she was a dish to pass.
No shit, oh man Kinda is.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Wow, this is Charlene .
Oh shit, oh man Kind of is.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Wow, this is Chardonnay.
You can also call her Charchak.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Wow, that's, that's.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
How did you know she was the one that's dark I
watched her.
I watched her.
I swear it again.
I watched her suck a gobstopperthrough a straw and I said
she's the one it's kind of likewhen I heard about my wife
(39:33):
clearing that eight foot bong.
Oh yeah you know, she's a ladyyou know, she's a lady the Okay,
ready for number three.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
The loudest fucking speaker ever and for some reason
all it plays is Cher's greatesthits, and you demand to play it
.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Oh fuck no.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Dude, that would kill any vibe.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
Yeah, it really would .
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I don't believe in life after love you, stupid
bitch.
All right, Do you believe oh?
Speaker 2 (40:02):
man.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
You can't.
That would be awful, I knowthat would be absolutely awful.
Yeah, sure, if he had to setthrough that, I'd leave, I'd get
up and go, or like Moby, yeah,yeah, or like.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Germanoby, yeah, yeah , or like German chants from
back in the day, or somethinghorrible, I don't know.
I'm trying to think of otherthings that would drive me nuts,
do you?
Speaker 3 (40:30):
remember it was like I think it was back in the 90s,
when they actually had thatsoundtrack or that, that tape
that came out with those guys,the monks, chanting.
Do you remember that?
Oh my god, no, I'm serious,what the fuck does that sound?
(40:51):
It was like no, no, no, it waslike.
It was like it was just likethem chanting their, their
service, like their religion,their, what, what they would
normally do.
But they recorded it and theyput it out on a cassette tape
Seriously, yeah, and I can'tremember the.
(41:12):
Did you buy it?
Speaker 2 (41:14):
No.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
I never bought it, it's like the Peruvian flute
bands that were everywhere.
They play those little flutethings.
They'd want you to buy theirCDs.
Oh yeah, those little riverbands.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
Yeah, no, but I mean they only had.
I mean they only had obviouslylike one cassette or one thing
that came out, did they go on?
Speaker 2 (41:28):
tour.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Shumba Wumba opened.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
It was great, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Best concert of my life.
I knew all the words, didn'teven have to prepare for that
shit.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
But yeah, I believe it was either in the late 80s,
early 90s and it was chantinglike that.
I'll have to look it up seewhat it was.
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Number four, number four.
I just think this would beironic.
I have a couple friends and Iwas thinking about what they
could bring that would piss meoff.
You know what I mean, otherthan burgers that'll kill
everybody Cold.
Spaghettios in a Crock-Pot ohyeah, you didn't even heat them
up, motherfucker, just pouredthe can straight in like a
(42:20):
sociopath and just had thecrackpot for aesthetics.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Yeah, I thought the sun would heat it up Kind of
thing, oh man, yeah, that'd bebad, not cool.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I do like SpaghettiOs , oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
You know I'd spent a long time since I've had
SpaghettiOs, but I know that themeatballs aren't real meat.
There's no way.
You know it's like my proudversion of tofu that.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
I eat yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
You're welcome vegans .
I love SpaghettiOs.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
I don't like the meatballs.
I don't like SpaghettiOs withmeatballs.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
No.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
I get them without.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I'm a strictly a no-meatball SpaghettiOs guy.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Well it might be complete opposites, and that's
why this is good right, you'rethe dude that loves single-stuff
Oreos, I'm going to smash adouble-stuff and make it a
quad-stuff, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:14):
Oh yeah, see I not the, not the doubles.
Oh no yeah it's.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
That's a whole different cracker bun.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
I mean, I like dipping it in milk, yeah, it's
just the tip, or the whole thing, the whole thing.
They're going to feel everyinch of that Oreo.
They're going to know.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
I'm here the whole thing, man, yeah, and then just
crush it, but yeah, you don'tget the same consistency when
it's like a double stuffed orthe mega stuff or whatever.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Oh, single stuffed guy Dude, I have an idea and
like this is just kind of myhigh brain speaking.
But what about an Oreo with anelephant ear as the tops?
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Oh, dude, you've had my wife's snickerdoodle pies
right, sounds dirty as fuckYou've had them.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
They are, though they're so good, it's a
snickerdoodle cookie.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
And then some.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
I think it's like a buttercream filling and then
another snickerdoodle cookie andit's like, it's like an oatmeal
cream pie or something likethat, but it's with a
snickerdoodle.
They're the fucking bomb.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah, those are so good, yeah, oh, those are
bangers like orange push pops,you know.
Those are solidified as bangers.
Man Fuck.
Anyway, I got number five to go.
All right, all right.
So that's a pretty big cookout.
You ask if you can bring a plusone.
You're a single guy.
So your friends are like do youthink he's bringing a girl?
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Nah.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
You bring Jeffrey Dahmer with you, and he made
homemade burgers.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
You bring Jeffrey Dahmer with you and he made
homemade burgers.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Oh my God, wow.
Now do your friends know thatthis is Jeffrey Dahmer.
Like do they know him?
Speaker 1 (45:20):
He's already eaten.
The guy with the acousticguitar, that guy's gone.
We don't have to worry abouthim anymore.
Oh shit.
Yeah, they figured it out whenhe didn't want any of the meat.
Yeah, oh shit, he might, thoughhe brought the burgers Anyway,
yeah, weird guy.
I want to let everybody knowthat Jeffrey Dahmer did go to
(45:41):
Ohio State.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
I want to remind everybody that Jeffrey Dahmer
did go to Ohio State.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
Let me leave that with you All right.
So my top five Worst things tobring to a cookout.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Yeah.
So my first one here is youknow all of those Christmas time
people that get the fruit cakes.
You bring the fruit cake to thecookout in June or July that
you got in Christmas.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Oh my God, Like you gift it back.
Yeah, yeah, people give peoplefruit cakes.
I would be appalled.
That is worse than.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
Well, I don't.
Honestly, I've never gotten one.
I've never known anybody that'sgotten one.
I don't know how that, butthey're there.
Somebody likes them.
They're always there duringChristmas.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
So it's 2025, Brad Fruitcakes are everywhere.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
You got a point there , buddy.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
You got a point there I would be so pissed Like I
don't even get mad about socksanymore because they're useful
For me.
A fruitcake go fuck yourself.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
That is, that's worse than a Buckeye keychain.
That's fighting words, rightthere yeah, fruitcake.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:00):
All right, Number two You'll remember this one from
back.
It's one of our first episodes.
I think they brought a turkeyloaf.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Dude.
Turkey loaf to the barbecue thespam of fine dining dude,
that's what a turkey loaf shouldbe the spam of fine dining.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
Do they still make those, the turkey loaves?
I don't know.
I've never went and looked forone.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
You'd have to find the only Kmart in the country.
I'll bet they still sell it.
Speaker 3 (47:30):
They might yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Or like Family Dollar .
Speaker 3 (47:33):
But can you imagine rolling up with a turkey loaf
and saying, here, throw this onthe grill.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
I'm hungry right now.
That just made my hunger turtleshell.
It's gone.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
Number three Green bean casserole.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Fuck you.
That should just be off.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
That should be off limits at any cookout, any
christmas, any thanksgiving, anytime.
That's just off the menu for me, dude, that shit is nasty and I
don't know how anybody couldeat it dude, it should be called
green bean acerol that's itsnew name, dude it tastes like it
(48:18):
is new name.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
It does, yeah, green bean ass though dude anything
that you call a salad like whenit's like potato salad yeah,
fruit salad pass yeah I want ameat and potatoes bitch or some
chips.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
so what's?
A green bean assol?
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Some green bean acerol.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
Number four.
So you show up to the barbecuewith the grill right.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
A girl or a grill Grill.
Speaker 3 (48:50):
Grill, grill, but you don't bring any gas.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
You're out of gas Dude.
Is it an empty propane tank oris there?
Speaker 3 (48:57):
no propane tank, empty propane tank Like you roll
up and you're fired up and it'sjust nothing.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Oh yeah, your propane tank just dry shot.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
Yep, yep, shooting blanks?
No, I have.
So when I was working inHolland for a while and for
Christmas one year, we did aDude, I was in Holland today.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Okay, I didn't know you lived there, that's cool.
Speaker 3 (49:26):
I didn't live there, I worked there anyway.
So we did a a fry, we did adeep fry, we did a bunch of
chicken wings for the thirdshift and we did I don't know,
dude, we had like 50 or 60pounds of wings that we cooked
and we had two deep fryer, twobig turkey fryers, yeah, and
another kid that worked therewas he brought another one, he
(49:49):
brought a third one, so we'dhave plenty.
We did like onion rings, we didlike the stuffed mushrooms,
that like deep fried mushrooms.
We did I mean Oreos.
We didn't deep fry Oreos, fuckBrad.
But we did.
I mean Oreos, we didn't deepfry Oreos, fuck Brad.
But we did all that.
And we did the wings and thenwe had like a sauce that we
dipped them in and everything.
It was awesome, but the kidthat brought the third turkey
(50:12):
fryer no gas, what is that.
Well, he brought the gas tank,but there was no fucking gas in
it.
So we were down to two fryersand we thought we were.
So we were cooking for hours onthose two.
It was 50 pounds a week.
We probably did more than that,I don't know.
It was for the whole thirdshift.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
What a dick, yeah.
Who does that Him?
You could go swap it Blue Rhino, yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
But by then it would have been.
We just forget it.
We're just going to do two.
Damn it Dylan.
And then my number five.
So you roll up.
You roll up late.
How late, like an hour late.
You bring some to-go boxes.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Just start loading all the stuff that's left on the
counter into boxes and thenstart saying goodbye.
Yeah, peace them out.
Dude, it was so good seeing youguys for real.
Like just, oh my god, that'd besuch a funny viral video to do
on somebody Yep.
Just show up late, bring someto-go boxes.
We need to make a version ofPunk for, like, corporate people
(51:25):
.
Like a presentation that makesno sense.
Like get everybody in theoffice.
Like sexual awareness Wouldmake it super dirty.
Like, what do you notice inthis picture?
I notice her purses blue.
Like no, no, no, you notice hergiant tits.
Look at that.
See how it makes a smiley face.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
Right, that's what we're looking for oh shit, dude.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Any, that didn't make it.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
I have one that didn't make it.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
It's called kimchi, kimchi, kimchi, it's Vietnamese
fermented cabbage.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Oh, oh fuck, did I have that that one time?
Speaker 3 (52:09):
I don't know, I don't know if you it's so bad.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
It tastes like mint.
Speaker 3 (52:13):
I don't, I've never had it.
I've never had it, I just thatwas one that my wife came up
with.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
The one that I had.
That wasn't funny is justvegetables.
Speaker 3 (52:21):
That one's kind of good Vegetables Don't bring
vegetables, anything vegan, justkeep it out of the barbecue.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
Have you seen that?
Speaker 3 (52:32):
Have you seen that?
There's a?
I've seen it a few times.
There's a barbecue joint downsouth somewhere and their
favorite Yelp review like theyhave it on T-shirts now and it
says nothing on the menu isvegan and they put it on
T-shirts because it's theirfavorite Yelp review.
(52:53):
That's great.
Nothing vegan here this is abarbecue joint.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
Yeah, of course, there's nothing vegan here.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
Quinoa.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
Oh yeah, what about bachelor party?
Dick-shaped candy put in a jarand label it?
Taste my Nuts.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
Taste the rainbow bitch.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
Cold Little Caesars from three nights before, folded
in a Ziploc bag like a wallet,and any time stuff goes down you
pull it out like currency topay for things you know, like
five bucks a cup, and you'rejust like, yeah, got you.
Like it's worth five bucks Agallon jug of Tang with live
(53:37):
goldfish swimming in it, andwe'll call it Tropical Punch.
Oh man live goldfish swimmingin it, and we'll call it
Tropical Punch.
I think Chef Boyardee, cold ina Frisbee, would be hilarious to
bring to a cookout or Jell-Omade with THC, but tell nobody.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
Pudding with Viagra in it.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
Oh shit.
What would that do to women?
Speaker 1 (54:05):
I don't know, probably go the other way for
them.
Speaker 3 (54:09):
Does it make their clit hurt?
Speaker 1 (54:12):
Is that a thing?
I don't know?
Dude, I don't Whoa the man inthe boat just standing up, dude,
I thought like a rubber, orlike a big old rubber, like a
(54:32):
magnum, but full, full of queso,would be ironic to do a cookout
he just like in a condom hejust poked the end and squirted
out dude, dude, yeah, or likeshots, you do shots that way.
Come on, get this Sushi.
Speaker 3 (54:47):
Oh dude, I like sushi .
Speaker 1 (54:48):
Or your ex -girlfriend that you're trying
to make up with, but you bringher to the barbecue to make up
with her.
Speaker 3 (54:54):
None of us want to hear that.
No, yeah, just stop.
Yeah, stop with the drama, cansomeone?
Speaker 1 (54:59):
put Cher in it's painful.
Yeah, stop with the drama.
Speaker 3 (55:01):
Can someone put Cher in?
It's so bad we want Cherinstead.
Speaker 1 (55:07):
Oh my God.
But yeah, summer should be fun.
Speaker 3 (55:10):
Oh yeah, dude.
Speaker 1 (55:14):
Dude, I got two different.
I have a concert, a trip and adude's trip all within Jackie
Robinson days, motherfucker.
Yeah, can't wait to report back.
I have a funny feeling that I'mgoing to have some stories for
this podcast about that kind oflike the raccoon.
Speaker 3 (55:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:31):
Dude, I'm nervous to get high out there tonight.
Why, yeah, I'll try to get theselfie.
Speaker 3 (55:39):
I'll see what I can do.
Yeah, take a picture of theraccoon.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
I got to name him.
Speaker 3 (55:43):
Ralph yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:46):
Ralph the raccoon.
Yeah, something cooler.
I don't know, like Randy,that's Chelsea's dad, isn't?
Speaker 3 (55:55):
it, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
Ruben, Ruben or Rupert.
Speaker 3 (56:05):
Rupert the raccoon.
Yeah, rocky, he could beRaphael, like one of the turtles
.
Speaker 1 (56:12):
Dude If he eats pizza too dude.
If I just found a raccoon thatsmokes weed, likes cartoons and
eats pizza, we're going to behomies, for sure you can't throw
in some jacks out there.
Oh shit, do my leftover jacksyeah.
Speaker 3 (56:32):
Is there any leftover really?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, I usually eat half of those, so my dog gets
all fucking geek because heknows he's about to get a couple
.
Speaker 3 (56:42):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:42):
Because Chelsea's so pizza'd out.
Dude, because I love it.
It's part of my food pyramid,like everyone else's food
pyramid.
Has all these things on it,dude.
When it's like pizza, tacos,burgers, chicken nuggets, and
then like ruffles or Tostitosand peanut butter M&Ms.
That's my food pyramid and aslong as I stick to my main food
groups, you know like.
Speaker 3 (57:06):
Yeah, yeah, pizza and tacos.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Yeah, I could live on those two.
Speaker 3 (57:13):
Yeah, oh yeah, definitely All right, man.
I think that's about wraps itup.
I hope everybody enjoyed theshow.
We're going to get back intosome regular shows, some regular
grooves.
I know our last two were kindof different which is cool.
(57:34):
We had a lot of good commentson the last two though.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
We did.
Speaker 3 (57:38):
Well, not on here.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Oh yeah, from like Justin, and yeah, you've gotten
some good feedback.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
So, dude, they're dope, yeah, so yeah, oh.
Speaker 1 (57:48):
And if you want to get a hold of us, brad, oh yeah,
it's at rowdandloudy atgmailcom, just like it sounds,
I'm just kidding r-o-w-d-a-n-d,l-o-d-l-o-u-d-y at gmailcom, and
you can listen to our previousepisodes on however you're
listening.
We're on Apple, spotify,youtube.
Speaker 3 (58:07):
We're all over.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
Porn Hub.
Oh my God.
Speaker 3 (58:14):
Those are just Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.
I get rowdy and loudy.
All right, everybody.
Hope you had a good time withus.
Stick around and check out thenext episodes.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
If you're lucky.
Speaker 3 (58:28):
Yeah, if you're lucky .
Speaker 1 (58:29):
If you play your fucking cards right, we'll put
them out.
Dude, we're going to put out sohard and we are going to do one
episode live from the Bar BauerBash, if we can figure that out
.
Speaker 3 (58:39):
Absolutely.
Yeah, that's no problem.
Yeah, I from the barbara bash.
Speaker 1 (58:42):
If we can figure that out, absolutely yeah, that's no
problem.
Yeah, I'll make sure we got tobring an extra mic, because I
have a funny feeling we're gonnahave like three or four guests
that day.
Speaker 3 (58:46):
It's just gonna be like I've got, yeah, I've got,
I've got four mics we can, wecan light up.
Speaker 1 (58:51):
So sounds bad too, like four mics, you know like.
Hi, I'm michael, how are?
Speaker 3 (58:58):
you yeah all right everybody.
Uh, thanks for listening.
Yeah, hope you enjoyed the show.
Yep, we'll catch you on thenext episode.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
All right, all right, peace All right.
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