June 22, 2025 • 32 mins
Recorded in the midst of an annual guys' weekend getaway, this raw, unfiltered episode captures the authentic essence of male friendship in all its inappropriate glory. Broadcasting live from the Bart Bauer Bash - a tradition that brings together a group of longtime friends for four days of escapism - hosts Eric and Brad welcome guest Ryan to share in their drunken, high-spirited podcast session.
The Bart Bauer Bash represents more than just a vacation; it's a sacred ritual where responsibilities are shed and genuine connections are reinforced through shared experiences, from competitive golf outings to late-night poker games. Throughout this episode, the unscripted conversations reveal both hilarious mishaps and surprisingly vulnerable confessions that wouldn't normally make it to air.
A middle school teacher's mortifying bathroom emergency, the petty politics of group breakfast times, and the chaotic rush to secure tee times all become fodder for authentic discussion and genuine laughter. The guys don't hold back as they debate the merits of being early risers versus night owls, share stories of childhood embarrassments, and even rank increasingly inappropriate food items in a list that would make parents reach for the volume control.
What makes this episode special is how it captures friendship in its natural habitat - sometimes crude, occasionally profound, but always genuine. For listeners who've ever wondered what happens when the filter comes off and friends let loose away from public scrutiny, this episode offers a voyeuristic glimpse into male bonding that feels both shocking and strangely familiar. Join us for this special Bart Bauer Bash broadcast and hear what happens when friends get together with nothing but time, booze, and stories to share.
ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.
Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.
Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Welcome to the Routin' Loudy Podcast.
This is episode 16.
Whoa, and we're going to do ashort half-hour episode that we
are live from the Bart BauerBash.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Hey-o.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
And I'll let Eric kind of explain what that is for
everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Well hey, everybody it's me, eric, and what the Bart
Bauer Bash is is.
It's a dude's trip where we getreally drunk and really high
and we play games, and there'susually 12 or 13 of us and a
couple people can't make itevery year.
It's just kind of what happens.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
But we had a couple bachelor parties in the same
year.
Actually, our guest Ryan was atone of the said bachelor
parties.
That created this monster andyeah, we just get to a house.
We stay Thursday, friday,Saturday, sunday.
Monster and um, yeah, we justget to get to a house.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
we stay thursday, friday, saturday sunday well,
saturday, and we leave sundayget breakfast.
I like breakfast, breakfast isgood and we just yeah it gets
super big.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
There's a bunch of dudes in a jacuzzi right now.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It sounds really weird when you say that I'm
looking for it.
Yeah, you know you get in there.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
So there's just not any estrogen here, and I think
that's a rule.
Yeah, so we got.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Ryan as our guest tonight and he's going to kind
of just go over the thing thathe's done.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
He's going to help guide the ship.
Yeah yeah, he's got the rudderyou know, he's got the rudder.
Yeah.
So what happened this morning,man?
Everyone freaked out about golfLike it was just like ah, Ah,
we got to.
We were in a rush to getnowhere and even I didn't know
Like, and it was like it'sFriday, People are working.
That's why the course isn'tbusy, right, you know yeah, so
(01:52):
yeah, we all came up Thursday,or Ryan came up today, yep.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Well, thursday we had some hot dogs.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Some glizzies, we did , we sucked glizzies.
Oh man, I missed on theglizzies Dude, you did.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
And it's okay.
You know what I ate.
One for you.
I had four.
I know I did.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I'm not going to lie when I went up to go use the
restroom, I ate probably a fewcold glizzies.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Dude, cold glizzies, dude, Still good.
Cold glizzes could be your rapname.
I feel like it's better thanhot Dude.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
hot and readies are not $5 in the bar, no, back in
the day, hot and ready.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
They used to be so good 10 for 10, hot and ready
burgers.
I know, hot and ready burgers,you can't beat that.
What's that?
Oh, hot and now.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Oh yeah, hot and now.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Hot.
And now, oh yeah, hot now so Ilive.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I grew up in sturgis, right.
Yep, that's the last one alivestill the last one.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Yeah, hot now still in sturgis.
What's the last thing that'sstill alive like of something
else you know well?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I don't know, like a blockbuster.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
There's still one up in alaska, really one yeah, we
just did a whole episode on pornhub.
Do you know Alaskans like towatch themselves Fuck dolls.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
As sex dolls.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Hold on.
I still got a quick short storyBecause I'm a middle school
Teacher.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Oh god.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
That's gonna be great .
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Today was our last day of school.
It was our half day of schoolHalf day.
Well, the last two days ofschool are a half day, which I
mean you might as well just sendthem home right, yeah at this
point.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah, because they're they're already checked out,
they're herding cats, they'replaying kickball the whole week
it's like there's like herdingcats around here.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Get them out of here yeah seriously, but this kid two
weeks ago he comes up to thedean of students.
He's like I got to talk to youabout this.
He's like this kid showed methis video at lunch from PH and
this guy's like 62.
He's like PH Pornhub dude andI'm sitting in there and I'm
(04:01):
like trying to mouth it to himlike Pornhub trying to mouth it
to him like and he's still likethat, always a girl just getting
it.
What is that?
Oh no, and he's just like whatdo you mean?
Like, can you explain this tome?
He went in like in depth about,like what the video was and I'm
like the sixth grade kid well,just going into it, I don't know
(04:23):
.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
He started telling her some compliments I don't
know something down there gothurt she kept putting in her
mouth I don't really know what'sgoing on?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
it was rough and nasty.
I'm sitting in there like I'mgonna go back to my planning
period, like I don't know why Istopped in here, about right
yeah, she's getting hit by atrapper keeper while he's doing
it.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I don't know why trapper, keeper man I've been it
.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I don't know why Trapper keeper man Don't have it
better around in a while.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Do kids still use trapper keepers?
No, they've only gotChromebooks now.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Those are stored in the sections of the store.
It's in the cloud now.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Those are stored in the section of the store by the
Creed CDs.
Dick me high Dude, oh my god.
But yeah, we.
Uh, what did we do last night?
We just got really high.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, we got high.
We, uh, we played poker.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yeah, played poker, I won that dude, I didn't win a
single game of bags last nighttoday four in a row, four and oh
we're four.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
No, we're like the buffalo bills, but we did it
because they went to the superbowl four times and lost.
We did what they should havedone.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
We did this for buffalo you know what I mean we
did it for the bills man but,yeah, we got.
How many people we got thisyear?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
10 uh 10, 10 right now yep, no, no 11 with your
brother Yep.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
That's so cool yeah.
So, kids are watching Pornhub.
Are their kids wearing?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
tails.
Okay, can I just clarify thatthey're not watching Pornhub on
their Chromebooks.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah, you can clarify .
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I just want to let you know, so, everyone knows in
school they are not watchingPornhub on their Chromebook.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
It's on his phone.
That's a good clarification.
It's on his personal device.
Does he have a chubby?
Huh, never mind, don't answerthat, but did he?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I don't even know what you just said, something
about a chubby, it's fine.
Just don't worry about it.
A chubby is yeah he does too.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
They don't call him.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
He figured it out.
Why is she getting peed on no?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
That's not what was described, but I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
What the video is called Oatmeal cream pie, and I
don't know what the oatmeal is.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Oh, it's a good beer Really.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Is that a thing?
Is there something calledoatmeal cream pie?
Yeah, there's some brewery.
Really, is that a thing?
Is there something calledoatmeal cream pie?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, there's some brewery, that's called that.
There's some brewery on thewest coast of Michigan that
makes a beer called oatmealcream pie.
It does literally taste like anoatmeal cream pie.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
No shit, but in the context, of what you just said
highly nuts.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
If you like to dump more loads, that's the brewery.
If you like to dump more loads.
That's the brewery, If you liketo dump more loads than a
Samsung dryer.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
That's the place, oh my.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
God.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Oh, my God dude.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Dude and Danny B, the godfather, himself the
godfather, and he's going to leteverybody know that he's on the
next one.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yep, he's coming up, he's not.
Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow,but he's going to let everybody
know that he's on the next one.
Yep, he's coming up, he's not.
Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow,but he's down for foreplay
tonight, that's it.
Oh yeah, foreplay, he's justkissing necks and writing checks
.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
dude Kissing necks and writing checks.
But so what all did we do lastnight?
Last night we played bags.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
We played poker.
You got really fucked up and wewere going to do the show last
night and you were just too outof it.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Oh, dude, we got to talk about the drive real quick
though.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Oh yeah, okay so we're on the drive up here.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
dude, yeah, you didn't hear this story.
There's a two-piece story,right?
So I'm fucked up.
Dude, that's a two piece story,right so?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
I'm fucked up, dude.
We smoked at Danny's and IPicked a real strong one for
that.
I didn't tell anybody, but wedid.
And um, we got so fucked up.
We went to a pizza buffet andafter we left the pizza buffet.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Dude, like no, we went to Pompeys.
It was Pompeys and Reed CityOkay.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
What if Reed City was illiterate?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Well, I feel like they might be.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Their library was gone.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Anyway.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Their library was gone.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
So continue.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
So after we left there, I'm with Jason and the
highway splits to two lanes andI thought it was one lane coming
this way, one lane going, youknow, the opposite way, Because
he popped out into the left laneand I took my glasses off, kind
of like I am right now becauseI'm fucked up.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Your glasses are still on.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Well they're not these ones, oh, okay, but these
help.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
These help.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
These are so cool.
You know, 1230 at night, DudeI'm.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Helen Keller blind with these off you know, and
dude.
I look over and I see a Jeep.
It looks like it's coming at us.
It's not.
And I look at Jason.
I'm like we're not going tofucking make this, we're not
going to fucking do it.
Hey bro, bro, get over, getover, get over, get over.
(09:25):
All right, I get that you havetwin turbos in your explorer,
but we got to get the fuck over,all right.
And then I realized that we'reboth going the same way.
Jason was telling this story.
He's like swap, it's like what?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
the fuck is going.
What the hell's?
Wrong with you.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
He's like oh, they're going the same direction and
then and then, uh, when we, whenwe got here, how do you?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
not tell the difference between like
headlight and rear.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
It was during the day , I mean, it was like line,
though, and I can tell thedifference between headlights.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Dude, did you go to?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
the?
Did you go to the marches andstuff and tell people that I'm
colorblind?
Literally me too don't judge me.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
No, I mean I'm not because I know your lives matter
.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
You know what I mean.
Like you went there and yousaid that I heard you Not like
in a room.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
What?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
just happened.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Anyway.
So the other funny part of thestory is we get back to the
house and I'm fucking, I'm goneand Brad looks at me and I'm
like dude, I hit my wall andhe's like what do you mean?
What happened?
I was like I don't know, I justtook some adderall and smoked a
bunch of weed and like drankand then smoked a lot more weed
and I just kind of hit a wall.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I said this to him and he started dying.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I'm like that's not bad, that's you I hit my wall
dude, I got all dizzy and shitand he's like what happened?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I was like I don't know I was like what the fuck's
wrong with you?
I?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
think that's from waking up eating.
Adderall smoking a bunch ofweed, drinking energy drinks and
then smoking more weed.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
You know, Like I just I almost fucking died.
Dude Needed a shower to put outthat fire.
You know, Success, Success.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Remaining.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Dude, I laughed my ass off.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Oh shit.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
What's also funny about this right now is that
every single buddy that was,every single person that was up
this morning and screaming aboutgolf.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, it's not here right now.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
It has not been here for two hours.
It's Cushman, it's Matt.
Why were they screaming aboutgolf?
They were trying to freak outabout it and I was all Dutch.
I was like I got a deal, I canget us on for 30 bucks.
So I just said fuck it andbucked it.
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yep, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
So we all got on for $30.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
The rest of the guys paid like $65.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
For $18 in the cart.
Eat a dick.
That's what I said to thatgroup.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I'm lucky to complete nine.
For that much.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
This is why you wake up, Eric.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm taking time, but wake me up.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
You're my boy.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
You're my boy.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Blue.
I got my clubs in the back ofmy car.
We're going tomorrow.
I got the clubs in the back ofmy car.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And I don't golf.
I got clubs in the back of mycar and I don't golf.
Wouldn't that be creepy.
And you're securing the deals.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Dude.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I had some really nice shots Today on the golf
course.
That's what I found crazy, dude.
I woke up and like all the foodwas gone.
It was like 8 in the morning.
All the food that I brought wasalready made.
I woke up at like 10.
It was all fucking.
All the food you brought wasgone it was fucked, though it
was like.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
It would be like going to a party when you were
22.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
And all that's left is like 600 pound fucking checks
and it's like you can havewhatever one you want.
I'm good you know or likedarlene, she's like drinking pop
out of a fucking bowl on thefloor you know, it's like you
can have darlene looks liketoday, I'm gonna fast.
Yeah, I'm gonna but, but whatI'm, but what I'm getting at, is
(12:52):
all those people that are likeI'm an early riser.
It's like you didn't make itpast 8.
I don't mean to be this person,but like you're a bitch, you
know, like you wanted to goearly and woo, we did it but at
the same time yeah, just like,just stop.
You know Brad's still up.
What's your excuse?
(13:12):
Yeah, and he ate biscuits whenthey were fresh.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I did.
Yeah, they were good too.
They were made by my wife.
Thanks for bringing those man.
Hey, fuck you, dude, I didn'teven get them.
I didn't get them, dude.
I brought pussy to the partyand didn't even get a sniff dude
.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
You didn't get any, didn't even get a sniff, cause
you're sleeping Until 930.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I, because you're sleeping in until 9.30.
I know what is it.
The biscuits were like.
At that point the biscuits werelike hockey pucks, but all
those people that were bitchingabout that are all asleep, and
they've been asleep since like 8.
So, what do you want to be?
The kid that wakes up at 5 orthe kid that goes to bed at 8?
Either way, you're a bitch.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Either way you suck.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Either way you suck.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
But I like them, but just stop it.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
It depends on if you're a night owl and you're
going out to party, or if you'regetting up early and you're
going to be the one that startsthe day off drinking at 8 am.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Early bird doesn't get the worm, because I already
bought the worm and I got a fastpass at 9 am.
Go fuck yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
That's what I said.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
You didn't get the worm, though.
Your worm's in the bottle oftequila.
Oh, that's where your worm isat we're like.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
What tequila is that that has, like the worm I've?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I don't know I don't know either is that only in
mexico?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
it's got to be a mexican thing.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah, it's illegal here, so I don't know if you can
get with a worm in this stateDude and everybody's mad about
the whole immigrant thing.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
But dude, I'm pretty pumped about it.
I haven't done my yard in weeks, oh my god, just kidding.
But like, you know what I'msaying.
It's been a while.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
It's been a while.
I'm a teacher so I have to domy own yard work.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Hell yeah, are there furries there?
Are there furries there?
Huh, are there furries?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
there no so is what's the wildest thing?
Yeah, what's the weirdest thingthat you've run into?
Speaker 3 (15:00):
like, did a girl like queef on a kid or something
that'd be cool, the weirdestthing.
No, I mean did someone shittheir pants like Brad fuck you,
wait dude, wait like brad.
I wanna hear this dude.
He posted up like a gargoyleand just shit all over so when I
was in my I was in second gradelike a gargoyle.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Oh, it wasn't even recent, I thought it was gonna
be like yeah, I don't know, thiswas second grade last week or
something.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
You should just listen to the podcast, okay,
yeah second grade.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I'm to tune back oh yeah, I don't know what episode
this is, but yeah, second grade,we had to raise our hand and go
to the bathroom, right?
So, I'm in the corner raisingmy hand and I fucking shit my
pants.
It was fucking all over.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
But I go to the bathroom, I come back and it's
like kids are staring at me andshit, and I've got shit all over
the back of my shirt.
It and it's like kids arestaring at me and shit, and I've
got shit.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
all over the back of my shirt.
It's all over the chair, it'syeah, and he didn't get made fun
of.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, I told him on the showthat I'd be a great friend.
I would have gone up rightbehind him when they're all like
you're gross and I would haveshit right on the floor Like you
, look at that, look at that.
Going up right on the carpet asa teacher.
I would have been like yep, yep, I applaud you.
(16:18):
I would have gotten one ofthose flags from those pizza
boxes, dude, throwing it rightin the turn.
I would have given you my turn,dude tom cruise tap gun.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Sign like yep, you go yeah you go to the bathroom,
yeah, just that hard, salutelike I bet she changed her
policy after that because we hadto wait, yeah, like fucking in
the corner, like, hey, I got togo, yeah, and it wasn't just, oh
, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
But I bet she changed her policy after that.
I think full transparency.
I'm pretty sure I shit my pantsone time in 10th grade but I
never told anybody.
Like it was one of those times,like after football, where like
we went to like we went toFazoli's and then like I think I
remember like being at schooland being like, oh man, you know
yeah.
I just don't know if it's true.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
So I've got a story as a teacher that I've never
even I don't know.
I think I told my wife.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Is it permanent?
No, it's not.
Ph.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
No, it's not PH.
It's not ph.
Hey, girl, you want the?
You want to watch that ph?
I'll bring the.
It was just one of thosemornings where I woke up late
and like I pounded two cups ofcoffee before I went in and I
got to school and I'm like isthat what you call your wife huh
?
Speaker 3 (17:28):
two cups of coffee this morning.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I woke up early and I chopped the coffee, pound her
twice and I went in.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
She wanted cream.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I gave it to her Extra cream Froppy no.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
That's weird, I'm sorry, she wanted cream and two
pumps of double cold foam Ididn't know how to give it to
her.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I didn't.
That was the hardest part, itwas karma.
Yeah, no, no.
But I went in and like we'vegot this, a vending machine in
the teacher's lounge, and I gothuh, it's a pop or food, uh,
it's just like drinks.
(18:21):
Um, and when I got there, likebefore, like I put on two cups
of coffee before I got there andI got to school and I'm like,
oh gosh, I'm so fucking tiredand so like I went in there and
I got like this like black riflecoffee and just yeah, just shot
it down and it's like firstperiod goes by and my stomach's
(18:41):
gurgling.
I'm like, oh jeez, I'm justlike moving around like second
period.
it comes by like oh, he's alittle gassy, I just like try to
squeak one Like a fart inchurch.
I turned to you, I lean intoone side, I'm just like, oh shit
, literally, oh shit, you do.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
I call the principal.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I'm just like dude.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Hey, I'm feeling sick .
I got to go home.
I just pulled my coke down.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
That's when you get to speak to my car.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I literally shit my pants in the second period.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I was gone before 9 am.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
I was gone.
Dude, you don't even know whatto do.
I just told him, like dude, no,there's like my kids' daycare.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
They've got some food going around Like I think it
got me.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
I've let you all down .
I'm sorry, all right, no, likeeven my kids walking up like I
miss you.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
You, yeah, all right.
No, like even my kids walk in.
I'm like I miss you.
You're like sweating, are youfeeling?
Okay, I'm like just leave mealone, go away.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Go away, like, leave me alone, oh my God, I feel like
I'm going to have to beep that,yeah, but hey.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Oh, so yeah, I'll beep it out.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Okay, I'll beep it out, and then you shit your
pants.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
That sounds like my fifth album hey mister you smell
.
What did you shape the turdinto?
Huh, you're shaping America'skids.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
What do you do after that?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
No, I threw that computer chair away.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
I would Dude.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Dude, dude.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
It was in the dumpster.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
It was in the dumpster, the next day I brought
a new one from home.
Oh my God, I didn't even tellmy wife, and she's like hey,
where'd her computer go?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
I'm like all right, Dude, I don't know, you know how
I told you about that thing atschool.
Well yeah, I came home and Ithought about it real hard and I
sat in that chair and then Irealized, realized, fuck that
chair.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, but the thing is, I never told her about it.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Oh, no shit, oh, she'll know.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
If I tell her about this podcast, she'll know.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
What does that mean?
What are you?
Are you vaping, yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
It's for the kids, all right, just wanted to make
sure.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
That's my motto.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Dude, yeah, shitting your pants is just normal and
you know what, if someone wouldhave caught you in that moment?
I'm fucked up right now to thepoint that I think I would have
helped you like I would havehelped Brad.
I would have just gotten downlike a gargoyle dude and I would
have said I would have shitright there.
And I would have looked at thatlittle kid and I would have said
look at me Next time you do,duke you think of this, and then
(21:21):
I just would have walked awayand said nothing else.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
But the thing is I teach sixth graders.
They don't understand.
They're tough, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
What do you do after that?
Like, you can't take a nap, youcan't eat Taco Bell, because
then you're afraid more iscoming.
You can't, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Oh yeah, Well, the only thing I did was I went home
.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Did you like rub one out and then just kind of take a
nap Like?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I don't know what to do?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
You know, like do I Rub one out, take a nap what?
Speaker 3 (21:49):
are you talking about .
But you left for the day, rightyou shit?
And then left for the day.
Oh, yeah, right, during thatfree time.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Oh, I drank beers on the patio at home.
I'm like, oh fuck.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Oh, that makes sense.
I probably would have rubbedone out and thought about
thoughts while I stared at theceiling dude.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I shit today in front of In my mind I'mitting on it,
dude, I only get like eight ofthem.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Man that's such a good story, dude, I got a funny
story for you.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
My mom worked in pediatrics Similar but not the
same with, like second graders.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
So they were doing shots one day, Wait who.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
My mom worked in pediatrics, so so it's a full
waiting room and this kid, thiskid oh, those shots like in,
yeah, yeah, like back in the daywhen everyone used to show up
shots in the doctor's office,like like, like back in like the
day, you know, when people usedto show up for shit like that.
Like they used to show up for,like, k martin, the blue light
Specials those same people,anyway, full waiting room.
(22:59):
This little kid goes into theroom and he sees that the
doctor's giving him shots so theparents aren't telling all the
kids.
He looks at the doctor and saysoh hell, no, goes sprinting out
the door into the waiting room.
Goes, run for your lives.
They're giving shots in here.
Can you imagine All these kidswent running?
(23:21):
Oh, no shit.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Oh my God, I never had a problem with shots when I
was a kid.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Just, shits Just shits.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Hey me too, man.
Even now, shots fired, Okay,shots fired While we're on the
topic Shits fired, shits firedeven now shots fired.
Okay, shots fired.
While we're on the topic shit'sfired, shit's fired, shit's
fired.
While we're on the topic, um,Dollar General was fun.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
I really thought those bee sweaters would be
cooler.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
But they're not oh they're not.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I mean, they are there's just not enough of them.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Oh yeah, I'm not trying to kill bees everybody,
so we went and played golf today.
Yeah, I was over it.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
What did you guys end up shooting Loads.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Loads of shots.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Loads of freedom dude oh dude.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Loads of shots, loads of freedom.
Dude oh dude.
So you were.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
you were in a cushman fell in the fucking pond.
Oh dude, he slid right in we'reso fell in the pond matt.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Matt is there explains a lot like when I
showed up at 6 30, it all makessense just buzzed oh yeah, so
matt is walking towards the pondright I'm so fucked I'm going
to bed at 7.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
And was that the guy that, like when I walked in and
I said hey, I'm Ryan, and hejust said hey.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I'm drunk.
Yeah, that's Matt.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
I have milk?
No, he just said I am drunk.
No, like I walked in, I'm like,hey, I'm Ryan.
He's like, hey, I'm drunk.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Like, really like, hey, I'm drunk, like really
drunk oh yeah, nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
They were hammered at like, oh yeah, dave tried to
like convince me, like hey, hewas the original ronald mcdonald
, like for the first 20 minutesI'm like he's got big feet.
It makes sense, man.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, yeah, matt and I'm like, yeah, he's ronald
mcdonald, I bought it.
Yeah, you didn't know that noway yeah, you're fucking I dude
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I saw a picture you're the real one, yeah stop,
because for like five seconds,the real one I just like it like
lapsed and like okay, maybe heis yeah, but danny convinced me
like no, he's not just fuckingdude, that dude would be the
king of costume parties.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Like a great costume.
No, it's me.
You're wearing my costume likeI'd be all I'll be all fucking
pimp about it.
Dude, you know like you'rewearing my shit bad santa.
Oh dude yeah, dude, there's somany drug santas I think my
daughter figured out santa andI'm not sorry.
I think my daughter figured outat santa because of all this
(25:50):
equality stuff, dude, when santaturned black and that was fine,
dude, like she's.
Like, I figured it out.
There's not two it's like whatthe fuck?
Yeah, dude yeah, we went totarget and bought this wrapping
paper and I didn't realize itwas yy black, yy black dude like
a checkerboard oh, santa'swhite santa, white santa black
santa.
(26:10):
Black santa like denzel, whowould be white santa.
Bill murray who doesn't likebill murray?
like you're, you're fucked up ifyou don't like bill murray yeah
and denzel maybe yeah, orsamuel yeah so I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah, the black santa does not like white santa, but
how come there's no Hindu Santa?
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I don't know, or the E's Remember we were talking
about the Japanese, the Chineseand Vietnamese do the.
E's.
How come there's no E's Santa?
He can't see very good, but hestill gives out treats.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
I'm going to get shut down by aKaren.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Yeah, you are.
So what's the top five fortonight?
I'm so sorry I'm going to getshut down by a can.
Yeah, you are.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
So what's the top five for tonight.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
The top five worst Worst things that have come out
of your mouth.
No worst things you could do atBart Bauer Bash.
Worst things that you could doat Bart Bauer.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I'll go.
That's hard because it's myfirst one, so I don't know.
I'm going to go with number one.
Do I set the pace now?
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Worst thing you could do at Bar Bauer Bash.
I'm going to go with number onemaking breakfast at 8 am.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That's a big no-no.
We don't have lunch here.
I feel like for any bachelorparty guy's weekend, you don't
do it early.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Especially when I made the food I had to wake up
to it, dude.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Especially if it's the first morning because the
first night you get there,you're just getting shmammered.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Dude, I had to wake up to it.
Dude, it looked like a come-incommunity college girl.
You know, it's like you canhave Karen.
She's dripping right now withall of our good, but if you want
her, you can heat her back up.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I'd rather have like frozen waffles in the morning.
Just put it in the toaster.
Dude waffles are good Eggos.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'll fuck up an Eggo.
I'll fuck up an Eggo.
Oh dude, Can you imagine?
Speaker 3 (27:59):
if Jason Biggs Dude the top five things.
Jason Biggs could have as analternative to the pie?
What if that is the top fivethings Okay so we got number one
, the egg Dude the eggos.
Because if you flip thosetogether, dude, and you do it
just right with the butter.
You could make that into lips.
You could bang that.
You're going to tell me thatJason Biggs shows up and he sees
(28:22):
a pie with crusties and he seesan eggo with butter.
He's fucking that eggo.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Number two.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Number two what's the second thing he'd fuck over
Over a pie?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
A cheesy bean burrito .
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Dude double shelled.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
And cut a hole.
What do they?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
call it Taco bell.
It was a Taco burrito Crunchwrap.
Damn Crunch wrap.
Taco Bell the.
It was a like, not a tacoBurrito, a Crunchwrap, dan.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Crunchwrap.
It was like a.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Crunchwrap, but it was like bean in between instead
of cheese.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I forget what it was.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Are you vegan or something?
The Double Stuffs, do you notlike that?
The Double Stuff, burrito, theDouble Decker.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Double, Decker, yeah, double Decker, dude I'll bet
Jason Biggs puts his dick inthat double-decker dude, All
right, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa whoa, whoa, I'm feeling
this.
I'm feeling this, ahollowed-out Twinkie.
A hollowed-out Twinkie whenhe's done, when he's done a
tallied-out Dude, dude, dude,and then he fills it back up.
You know what I'm?
(29:25):
No one knows.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Eugene Levy comes down.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
He's got it on his lip, dude, and he's like Jim,
why don't you go ahead and havea seat?
I'm going to say, my mom andmyself found a Twinkie and we
thought to ourselves we're goingto eat it.
It was filled with semen.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
That's like Van Wilder.
That's why I don't eat LongJohn.
I'm going to say a jelly-filleddonut, Dude we talked about
this the other day.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
Dude, think about how many things have John in it.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
John Doe.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Long John.
John, I'm going to sayjelly-filled donut Long John.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Silver is Fucking Denver dude.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
John fucking Elway.
Is John in it, dude?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
John.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Lennon John.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Lennon.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
Pre-getting shot in the face Okay, and then
pre-getting shot in the face,okay.
Number three John.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Hannaf Jelly-filled donut.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
That just makes you dude, or Boston cream pie.
Oh yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Boston cream pie.
Boston cream pie.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Dude, that's the name of the first girl I fucked.
Dude, we all called her Bostoncream pie Boston cream pie.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Yeah, because everyone had a turn.
She's from Boston.
Yeah, dude, were you in Bostontoo.
Was it like 50?
We?
Speaker 3 (30:32):
called her Little League, so everyone had a turn.
Oh yeah, that was good, wecalled her.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
T-Bone I'm a baseball guy.
What's the fourth thing We'lllet?
Speaker 3 (30:41):
you come up with one, so we got burrito.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Oh yeah, and we got jelly, and we got jelly-filled
donuts.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
So the fifth one, we got to come up with a consensus.
All right, brad, top of yourmind go.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I'm going to say pizza, pizza, yeah.
Oh no stromboli, there you go.
No Dude, that's too hard though.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
I'm going to go Hot Pocket for my rocket, oh my gosh
Hot.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Pocket for my rocket.
I was going to say Hot Pocket,rocket, hot Pocket, do the ham
and cheese.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Oh yeah, Dude, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Because it's like a grilled cheese.
I'm on the fly, I'm going tosay a cannoli.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Oh, dude, oh, that's good too, it's Italian.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
It's foreign, just fill it up with cream.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
I think I like the hot pocket.
It's real nice.
It's amazing hot pocket from myrocket I'm gonna come in your
cannoli hey, hey, hey stromboliyou know what I'm saying, dude?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
the hot pocket just flows out the tongue.
Hot pocket so tight.
Hot pocket from my rocket dudehot pocket, so tight afternoon
delay.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
I fucked a hot pocket and I liked it.
Dude Hot Pocket's so tightafternoon to late I fucked a Hot
Pocket and I liked it All right.
Well, hey Are we done.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, I think that wraps it up for tonight.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
This is what I say to my wife every time.
Are we done?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah, oh my God.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
If you're listening, I love you, honey, jesus, jesus.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
probably would have been 20 seconds long after I
said that Dude Jesus is cool.
He does stuff with things.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Well, hey, stick around for the next episode.
We're going to do another livebroadcast from the show or from
the Bart Bauer Bash.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
If you get in touch with us, just listen to other
shows.
I don't feel like spelling shit.
Yeah well, We'll do it thisexpulsion.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Yeah well, we'll do it.
We'll do it on the next one.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
This is roundlovey at gmailcom.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Look at your fucking browser.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
That's how you spell it Live from Bar Power.
Thanks for coming out.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Ryan, yep, love you guys.
Yeah, it was a blast, Okay,peace out.
Welcome to the Routin' Loudy Podcast.
This is episode 16.
Whoa, and we're going to do ashort half-hour episode that we
are live from the Bart BauerBash.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Hey-o.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
And I'll let Eric kind of explain what that is for
everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Well hey, everybody it's me, eric, and what the Bart
Bauer Bash is is.
It's a dude's trip where we getreally drunk and really high
and we play games, and there'susually 12 or 13 of us and a
couple people can't make itevery year.
It's just kind of what happens.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
But we had a couple bachelor parties in the same
year.
Actually, our guest Ryan was atone of the said bachelor
parties.
That created this monster andyeah, we just get to a house.
We stay Thursday, friday,Saturday, sunday.
Monster and um, yeah, we justget to get to a house.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
we stay thursday, friday, saturday sunday well,
saturday, and we leave sundayget breakfast.
I like breakfast, breakfast isgood and we just yeah it gets
super big.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
There's a bunch of dudes in a jacuzzi right now.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
It sounds really weird when you say that I'm
looking for it.
Yeah, you know you get in there.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
So there's just not any estrogen here, and I think
that's a rule.
Yeah, so we got.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Ryan as our guest tonight and he's going to kind
of just go over the thing thathe's done.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
He's going to help guide the ship.
Yeah yeah, he's got the rudderyou know, he's got the rudder.
Yeah.
So what happened this morning,man?
Everyone freaked out about golfLike it was just like ah, Ah,
we got to.
We were in a rush to getnowhere and even I didn't know
Like, and it was like it'sFriday, People are working.
That's why the course isn'tbusy, right, you know yeah, so
(01:52):
yeah, we all came up Thursday,or Ryan came up today, yep.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Well, thursday we had some hot dogs.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Some glizzies, we did , we sucked glizzies.
Oh man, I missed on theglizzies Dude, you did.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
And it's okay.
You know what I ate.
One for you.
I had four.
I know I did.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I'm not going to lie when I went up to go use the
restroom, I ate probably a fewcold glizzies.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Dude, cold glizzies, dude, Still good.
Cold glizzes could be your rapname.
I feel like it's better thanhot Dude.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
hot and readies are not $5 in the bar, no, back in
the day, hot and ready.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
They used to be so good 10 for 10, hot and ready
burgers.
I know, hot and ready burgers,you can't beat that.
What's that?
Oh, hot and now.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Oh yeah, hot and now.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Hot.
And now, oh yeah, hot now so Ilive.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I grew up in sturgis, right.
Yep, that's the last one alivestill the last one.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Yeah, hot now still in sturgis.
What's the last thing that'sstill alive like of something
else you know well?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I don't know, like a blockbuster.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
There's still one up in alaska, really one yeah, we
just did a whole episode on pornhub.
Do you know Alaskans like towatch themselves Fuck dolls.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
As sex dolls.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Hold on.
I still got a quick short storyBecause I'm a middle school
Teacher.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Oh god.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
That's gonna be great .
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Today was our last day of school.
It was our half day of schoolHalf day.
Well, the last two days ofschool are a half day, which I
mean you might as well just sendthem home right, yeah at this
point.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah, because they're they're already checked out,
they're herding cats, they'replaying kickball the whole week
it's like there's like herdingcats around here.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Get them out of here yeah seriously, but this kid two
weeks ago he comes up to thedean of students.
He's like I got to talk to youabout this.
He's like this kid showed methis video at lunch from PH and
this guy's like 62.
He's like PH Pornhub dude andI'm sitting in there and I'm
(04:01):
like trying to mouth it to himlike Pornhub trying to mouth it
to him like and he's still likethat, always a girl just getting
it.
What is that?
Oh no, and he's just like whatdo you mean?
Like, can you explain this tome?
He went in like in depth about,like what the video was and I'm
like the sixth grade kid well,just going into it, I don't know
(04:23):
.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
He started telling her some compliments I don't
know something down there gothurt she kept putting in her
mouth I don't really know what'sgoing on?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
it was rough and nasty.
I'm sitting in there like I'mgonna go back to my planning
period, like I don't know why Istopped in here, about right
yeah, she's getting hit by atrapper keeper while he's doing
it.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I don't know why trapper, keeper man I've been it
.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I don't know why Trapper keeper man Don't have it
better around in a while.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Do kids still use trapper keepers?
No, they've only gotChromebooks now.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Those are stored in the sections of the store.
It's in the cloud now.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Those are stored in the section of the store by the
Creed CDs.
Dick me high Dude, oh my god.
But yeah, we.
Uh, what did we do last night?
We just got really high.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, we got high.
We, uh, we played poker.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yeah, played poker, I won that dude, I didn't win a
single game of bags last nighttoday four in a row, four and oh
we're four.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
No, we're like the buffalo bills, but we did it
because they went to the superbowl four times and lost.
We did what they should havedone.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
We did this for buffalo you know what I mean we
did it for the bills man but,yeah, we got.
How many people we got thisyear?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
10 uh 10, 10 right now yep, no, no 11 with your
brother Yep.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
That's so cool yeah.
So, kids are watching Pornhub.
Are their kids wearing?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
tails.
Okay, can I just clarify thatthey're not watching Pornhub on
their Chromebooks.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah, you can clarify .
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I just want to let you know, so, everyone knows in
school they are not watchingPornhub on their Chromebook.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
It's on his phone.
That's a good clarification.
It's on his personal device.
Does he have a chubby?
Huh, never mind, don't answerthat, but did he?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I don't even know what you just said, something
about a chubby, it's fine.
Just don't worry about it.
A chubby is yeah he does too.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
They don't call him.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
He figured it out.
Why is she getting peed on no?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
That's not what was described, but I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
What the video is called Oatmeal cream pie, and I
don't know what the oatmeal is.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Oh, it's a good beer Really.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Is that a thing?
Is there something calledoatmeal cream pie?
Yeah, there's some brewery.
Really, is that a thing?
Is there something calledoatmeal cream pie?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, there's some brewery, that's called that.
There's some brewery on thewest coast of Michigan that
makes a beer called oatmealcream pie.
It does literally taste like anoatmeal cream pie.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
No shit, but in the context, of what you just said
highly nuts.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
If you like to dump more loads, that's the brewery.
If you like to dump more loads.
That's the brewery, If you liketo dump more loads than a
Samsung dryer.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
That's the place, oh my.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
God.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Oh, my God dude.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Dude and Danny B, the godfather, himself the
godfather, and he's going to leteverybody know that he's on the
next one.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yep, he's coming up, he's not.
Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow,but he's going to let everybody
know that he's on the next one.
Yep, he's coming up, he's not.
Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow,but he's down for foreplay
tonight, that's it.
Oh yeah, foreplay, he's justkissing necks and writing checks
.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
dude Kissing necks and writing checks.
But so what all did we do lastnight?
Last night we played bags.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
We played poker.
You got really fucked up and wewere going to do the show last
night and you were just too outof it.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Oh, dude, we got to talk about the drive real quick
though.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Oh yeah, okay so we're on the drive up here.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
dude, yeah, you didn't hear this story.
There's a two-piece story,right?
So I'm fucked up.
Dude, that's a two piece story,right so?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
I'm fucked up, dude.
We smoked at Danny's and IPicked a real strong one for
that.
I didn't tell anybody, but wedid.
And um, we got so fucked up.
We went to a pizza buffet andafter we left the pizza buffet.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Dude, like no, we went to Pompeys.
It was Pompeys and Reed CityOkay.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
What if Reed City was illiterate?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Well, I feel like they might be.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Their library was gone.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Anyway.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Their library was gone.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
So continue.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
So after we left there, I'm with Jason and the
highway splits to two lanes andI thought it was one lane coming
this way, one lane going, youknow, the opposite way, Because
he popped out into the left laneand I took my glasses off, kind
of like I am right now becauseI'm fucked up.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Your glasses are still on.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Well they're not these ones, oh, okay, but these
help.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
These help.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
These are so cool.
You know, 1230 at night, DudeI'm.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Helen Keller blind with these off you know, and
dude.
I look over and I see a Jeep.
It looks like it's coming at us.
It's not.
And I look at Jason.
I'm like we're not going tofucking make this, we're not
going to fucking do it.
Hey bro, bro, get over, getover, get over, get over.
(09:25):
All right, I get that you havetwin turbos in your explorer,
but we got to get the fuck over,all right.
And then I realized that we'reboth going the same way.
Jason was telling this story.
He's like swap, it's like what?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
the fuck is going.
What the hell's?
Wrong with you.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
He's like oh, they're going the same direction and
then and then, uh, when we, whenwe got here, how do you?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
not tell the difference between like
headlight and rear.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
It was during the day , I mean, it was like line,
though, and I can tell thedifference between headlights.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Dude, did you go to?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
the?
Did you go to the marches andstuff and tell people that I'm
colorblind?
Literally me too don't judge me.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
No, I mean I'm not because I know your lives matter
.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
You know what I mean.
Like you went there and yousaid that I heard you Not like
in a room.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
What?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
just happened.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Anyway.
So the other funny part of thestory is we get back to the
house and I'm fucking, I'm goneand Brad looks at me and I'm
like dude, I hit my wall andhe's like what do you mean?
What happened?
I was like I don't know, I justtook some adderall and smoked a
bunch of weed and like drankand then smoked a lot more weed
and I just kind of hit a wall.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I said this to him and he started dying.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I'm like that's not bad, that's you I hit my wall
dude, I got all dizzy and shitand he's like what happened?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I was like I don't know I was like what the fuck's
wrong with you?
I?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
think that's from waking up eating.
Adderall smoking a bunch ofweed, drinking energy drinks and
then smoking more weed.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
You know, Like I just I almost fucking died.
Dude Needed a shower to put outthat fire.
You know, Success, Success.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Remaining.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Dude, I laughed my ass off.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Oh shit.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
What's also funny about this right now is that
every single buddy that was,every single person that was up
this morning and screaming aboutgolf.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, it's not here right now.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
It has not been here for two hours.
It's Cushman, it's Matt.
Why were they screaming aboutgolf?
They were trying to freak outabout it and I was all Dutch.
I was like I got a deal, I canget us on for 30 bucks.
So I just said fuck it andbucked it.
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yep, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
So we all got on for $30.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
The rest of the guys paid like $65.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
For $18 in the cart.
Eat a dick.
That's what I said to thatgroup.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I'm lucky to complete nine.
For that much.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
This is why you wake up, Eric.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm taking time, but wake me up.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
You're my boy.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
You're my boy.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Blue.
I got my clubs in the back ofmy car.
We're going tomorrow.
I got the clubs in the back ofmy car.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And I don't golf.
I got clubs in the back of mycar and I don't golf.
Wouldn't that be creepy.
And you're securing the deals.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Dude.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
I had some really nice shots Today on the golf
course.
That's what I found crazy, dude.
I woke up and like all the foodwas gone.
It was like 8 in the morning.
All the food that I brought wasalready made.
I woke up at like 10.
It was all fucking.
All the food you brought wasgone it was fucked, though it
was like.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
It would be like going to a party when you were
22.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
And all that's left is like 600 pound fucking checks
and it's like you can havewhatever one you want.
I'm good you know or likedarlene, she's like drinking pop
out of a fucking bowl on thefloor you know, it's like you
can have darlene looks liketoday, I'm gonna fast.
Yeah, I'm gonna but, but whatI'm, but what I'm getting at, is
(12:52):
all those people that are likeI'm an early riser.
It's like you didn't make itpast 8.
I don't mean to be this person,but like you're a bitch, you
know, like you wanted to goearly and woo, we did it but at
the same time yeah, just like,just stop.
You know Brad's still up.
What's your excuse?
(13:12):
Yeah, and he ate biscuits whenthey were fresh.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I did.
Yeah, they were good too.
They were made by my wife.
Thanks for bringing those man.
Hey, fuck you, dude, I didn'teven get them.
I didn't get them, dude.
I brought pussy to the partyand didn't even get a sniff dude
.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
You didn't get any, didn't even get a sniff, cause
you're sleeping Until 930.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I, because you're sleeping in until 9.30.
I know what is it.
The biscuits were like.
At that point the biscuits werelike hockey pucks, but all
those people that were bitchingabout that are all asleep, and
they've been asleep since like 8.
So, what do you want to be?
The kid that wakes up at 5 orthe kid that goes to bed at 8?
Either way, you're a bitch.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Either way you suck.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Either way you suck.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
But I like them, but just stop it.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
It depends on if you're a night owl and you're
going out to party, or if you'regetting up early and you're
going to be the one that startsthe day off drinking at 8 am.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Early bird doesn't get the worm, because I already
bought the worm and I got a fastpass at 9 am.
Go fuck yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
That's what I said.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
You didn't get the worm, though.
Your worm's in the bottle oftequila.
Oh, that's where your worm isat we're like.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
What tequila is that that has, like the worm I've?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I don't know I don't know either is that only in
mexico?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
it's got to be a mexican thing.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah, it's illegal here, so I don't know if you can
get with a worm in this stateDude and everybody's mad about
the whole immigrant thing.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
But dude, I'm pretty pumped about it.
I haven't done my yard in weeks, oh my god, just kidding.
But like, you know what I'msaying.
It's been a while.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
It's been a while.
I'm a teacher so I have to domy own yard work.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Hell yeah, are there furries there?
Are there furries there?
Huh, are there furries?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
there no so is what's the wildest thing?
Yeah, what's the weirdest thingthat you've run into?
Speaker 3 (15:00):
like, did a girl like queef on a kid or something
that'd be cool, the weirdestthing.
No, I mean did someone shittheir pants like Brad fuck you,
wait dude, wait like brad.
I wanna hear this dude.
He posted up like a gargoyleand just shit all over so when I
was in my I was in second gradelike a gargoyle.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Oh, it wasn't even recent, I thought it was gonna
be like yeah, I don't know, thiswas second grade last week or
something.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
You should just listen to the podcast, okay,
yeah second grade.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I'm to tune back oh yeah, I don't know what episode
this is, but yeah, second grade,we had to raise our hand and go
to the bathroom, right?
So, I'm in the corner raisingmy hand and I fucking shit my
pants.
It was fucking all over.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
But I go to the bathroom, I come back and it's
like kids are staring at me andshit, and I've got shit all over
the back of my shirt.
It and it's like kids arestaring at me and shit, and I've
got shit.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
all over the back of my shirt.
It's all over the chair, it'syeah, and he didn't get made fun
of.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, I told him on the showthat I'd be a great friend.
I would have gone up rightbehind him when they're all like
you're gross and I would haveshit right on the floor Like you
, look at that, look at that.
Going up right on the carpet asa teacher.
I would have been like yep, yep, I applaud you.
(16:18):
I would have gotten one ofthose flags from those pizza
boxes, dude, throwing it rightin the turn.
I would have given you my turn,dude tom cruise tap gun.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Sign like yep, you go yeah you go to the bathroom,
yeah, just that hard, salutelike I bet she changed her
policy after that because we hadto wait, yeah, like fucking in
the corner, like, hey, I got togo, yeah, and it wasn't just, oh
, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
But I bet she changed her policy after that.
I think full transparency.
I'm pretty sure I shit my pantsone time in 10th grade but I
never told anybody.
Like it was one of those times,like after football, where like
we went to like we went toFazoli's and then like I think I
remember like being at schooland being like, oh man, you know
yeah.
I just don't know if it's true.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
So I've got a story as a teacher that I've never
even I don't know.
I think I told my wife.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Is it permanent?
No, it's not.
Ph.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
No, it's not PH.
It's not ph.
Hey, girl, you want the?
You want to watch that ph?
I'll bring the.
It was just one of thosemornings where I woke up late
and like I pounded two cups ofcoffee before I went in and I
got to school and I'm like isthat what you call your wife huh
?
Speaker 3 (17:28):
two cups of coffee this morning.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I woke up early and I chopped the coffee, pound her
twice and I went in.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
She wanted cream.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I gave it to her Extra cream Froppy no.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
That's weird, I'm sorry, she wanted cream and two
pumps of double cold foam Ididn't know how to give it to
her.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I didn't.
That was the hardest part, itwas karma.
Yeah, no, no.
But I went in and like we'vegot this, a vending machine in
the teacher's lounge, and I gothuh, it's a pop or food, uh,
it's just like drinks.
(18:21):
Um, and when I got there, likebefore, like I put on two cups
of coffee before I got there andI got to school and I'm like,
oh gosh, I'm so fucking tiredand so like I went in there and
I got like this like black riflecoffee and just yeah, just shot
it down and it's like firstperiod goes by and my stomach's
(18:41):
gurgling.
I'm like, oh jeez, I'm justlike moving around like second
period.
it comes by like oh, he's alittle gassy, I just like try to
squeak one Like a fart inchurch.
I turned to you, I lean intoone side, I'm just like, oh shit
, literally, oh shit, you do.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
I call the principal.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I'm just like dude.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Hey, I'm feeling sick .
I got to go home.
I just pulled my coke down.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
That's when you get to speak to my car.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I literally shit my pants in the second period.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I was gone before 9 am.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
I was gone.
Dude, you don't even know whatto do.
I just told him, like dude, no,there's like my kids' daycare.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
They've got some food going around Like I think it
got me.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
I've let you all down .
I'm sorry, all right, no, likeeven my kids walking up like I
miss you.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
You, yeah, all right.
No, like even my kids walk in.
I'm like I miss you.
You're like sweating, are youfeeling?
Okay, I'm like just leave mealone, go away.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Go away, like, leave me alone, oh my God, I feel like
I'm going to have to beep that,yeah, but hey.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Oh, so yeah, I'll beep it out.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Okay, I'll beep it out, and then you shit your
pants.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
That sounds like my fifth album hey mister you smell
.
What did you shape the turdinto?
Huh, you're shaping America'skids.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
What do you do after that?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
No, I threw that computer chair away.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
I would Dude.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Dude, dude.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
It was in the dumpster.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
It was in the dumpster, the next day I brought
a new one from home.
Oh my God, I didn't even tellmy wife, and she's like hey,
where'd her computer go?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
I'm like all right, Dude, I don't know, you know how
I told you about that thing atschool.
Well yeah, I came home and Ithought about it real hard and I
sat in that chair and then Irealized, realized, fuck that
chair.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, but the thing is, I never told her about it.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Oh, no shit, oh, she'll know.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
If I tell her about this podcast, she'll know.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
What does that mean?
What are you?
Are you vaping, yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
It's for the kids, all right, just wanted to make
sure.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
That's my motto.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Dude, yeah, shitting your pants is just normal and
you know what, if someone wouldhave caught you in that moment?
I'm fucked up right now to thepoint that I think I would have
helped you like I would havehelped Brad.
I would have just gotten downlike a gargoyle dude and I would
have said I would have shitright there.
And I would have looked at thatlittle kid and I would have said
look at me Next time you do,duke you think of this, and then
(21:21):
I just would have walked awayand said nothing else.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
But the thing is I teach sixth graders.
They don't understand.
They're tough, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
What do you do after that?
Like, you can't take a nap, youcan't eat Taco Bell, because
then you're afraid more iscoming.
You can't, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Oh yeah, Well, the only thing I did was I went home
.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Did you like rub one out and then just kind of take a
nap Like?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
I don't know what to do?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
You know, like do I Rub one out, take a nap what?
Speaker 3 (21:49):
are you talking about .
But you left for the day, rightyou shit?
And then left for the day.
Oh, yeah, right, during thatfree time.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Oh, I drank beers on the patio at home.
I'm like, oh fuck.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Oh, that makes sense.
I probably would have rubbedone out and thought about
thoughts while I stared at theceiling dude.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I shit today in front of In my mind I'mitting on it,
dude, I only get like eight ofthem.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Man that's such a good story, dude, I got a funny
story for you.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
My mom worked in pediatrics Similar but not the
same with, like second graders.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
So they were doing shots one day, Wait who.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
My mom worked in pediatrics, so so it's a full
waiting room and this kid, thiskid oh, those shots like in,
yeah, yeah, like back in the daywhen everyone used to show up
shots in the doctor's office,like like, like back in like the
day, you know, when people usedto show up for shit like that.
Like they used to show up for,like, k martin, the blue light
Specials those same people,anyway, full waiting room.
(22:59):
This little kid goes into theroom and he sees that the
doctor's giving him shots so theparents aren't telling all the
kids.
He looks at the doctor and saysoh hell, no, goes sprinting out
the door into the waiting room.
Goes, run for your lives.
They're giving shots in here.
Can you imagine All these kidswent running?
(23:21):
Oh, no shit.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Oh my God, I never had a problem with shots when I
was a kid.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Just, shits Just shits.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Hey me too, man.
Even now, shots fired, Okay,shots fired While we're on the
topic Shits fired, shits firedeven now shots fired.
Okay, shots fired.
While we're on the topic shit'sfired, shit's fired, shit's
fired.
While we're on the topic, um,Dollar General was fun.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
I really thought those bee sweaters would be
cooler.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
But they're not oh they're not.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I mean, they are there's just not enough of them.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Oh yeah, I'm not trying to kill bees everybody,
so we went and played golf today.
Yeah, I was over it.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
What did you guys end up shooting Loads.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Loads of shots.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Loads of freedom dude oh dude.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Loads of shots, loads of freedom.
Dude oh dude.
So you were.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
you were in a cushman fell in the fucking pond.
Oh dude, he slid right in we'reso fell in the pond matt.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Matt is there explains a lot like when I
showed up at 6 30, it all makessense just buzzed oh yeah, so
matt is walking towards the pondright I'm so fucked I'm going
to bed at 7.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
And was that the guy that, like when I walked in and
I said hey, I'm Ryan, and hejust said hey.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I'm drunk.
Yeah, that's Matt.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
I have milk?
No, he just said I am drunk.
No, like I walked in, I'm like,hey, I'm Ryan.
He's like, hey, I'm drunk.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Like, really like, hey, I'm drunk, like really
drunk oh yeah, nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
They were hammered at like, oh yeah, dave tried to
like convince me, like hey, hewas the original ronald mcdonald
, like for the first 20 minutesI'm like he's got big feet.
It makes sense, man.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, yeah, matt and I'm like, yeah, he's ronald
mcdonald, I bought it.
Yeah, you didn't know that noway yeah, you're fucking I dude
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I saw a picture you're the real one, yeah stop,
because for like five seconds,the real one I just like it like
lapsed and like okay, maybe heis yeah, but danny convinced me
like no, he's not just fuckingdude, that dude would be the
king of costume parties.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Like a great costume.
No, it's me.
You're wearing my costume likeI'd be all I'll be all fucking
pimp about it.
Dude, you know like you'rewearing my shit bad santa.
Oh dude yeah, dude, there's somany drug santas I think my
daughter figured out santa andI'm not sorry.
I think my daughter figured outat santa because of all this
(25:50):
equality stuff, dude, when santaturned black and that was fine,
dude, like she's.
Like, I figured it out.
There's not two it's like whatthe fuck?
Yeah, dude yeah, we went totarget and bought this wrapping
paper and I didn't realize itwas yy black, yy black dude like
a checkerboard oh, santa'swhite santa, white santa black
santa.
(26:10):
Black santa like denzel, whowould be white santa.
Bill murray who doesn't likebill murray?
like you're, you're fucked up ifyou don't like bill murray yeah
and denzel maybe yeah, orsamuel yeah so I'll do it.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah, the black santa does not like white santa, but
how come there's no Hindu Santa?
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I don't know, or the E's Remember we were talking
about the Japanese, the Chineseand Vietnamese do the.
E's.
How come there's no E's Santa?
He can't see very good, but hestill gives out treats.
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
I'm going to get shut down by aKaren.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Yeah, you are.
So what's the top five fortonight?
I'm so sorry I'm going to getshut down by a can.
Yeah, you are.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
So what's the top five for tonight.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
The top five worst Worst things that have come out
of your mouth.
No worst things you could do atBart Bauer Bash.
Worst things that you could doat Bart Bauer.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I'll go.
That's hard because it's myfirst one, so I don't know.
I'm going to go with number one.
Do I set the pace now?
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Worst thing you could do at Bar Bauer Bash.
I'm going to go with number onemaking breakfast at 8 am.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That's a big no-no.
We don't have lunch here.
I feel like for any bachelorparty guy's weekend, you don't
do it early.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Especially when I made the food I had to wake up
to it, dude.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Especially if it's the first morning because the
first night you get there,you're just getting shmammered.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Dude, I had to wake up to it.
Dude, it looked like a come-incommunity college girl.
You know, it's like you canhave Karen.
She's dripping right now withall of our good, but if you want
her, you can heat her back up.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I'd rather have like frozen waffles in the morning.
Just put it in the toaster.
Dude waffles are good Eggos.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'll fuck up an Eggo.
I'll fuck up an Eggo.
Oh dude, Can you imagine?
Speaker 3 (27:59):
if Jason Biggs Dude the top five things.
Jason Biggs could have as analternative to the pie?
What if that is the top fivethings Okay so we got number one
, the egg Dude the eggos.
Because if you flip thosetogether, dude, and you do it
just right with the butter.
You could make that into lips.
You could bang that.
You're going to tell me thatJason Biggs shows up and he sees
(28:22):
a pie with crusties and he seesan eggo with butter.
He's fucking that eggo.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Number two.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Number two what's the second thing he'd fuck over
Over a pie?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
A cheesy bean burrito .
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Dude double shelled.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
And cut a hole.
What do they?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
call it Taco bell.
It was a Taco burrito Crunchwrap.
Damn Crunch wrap.
Taco Bell the.
It was a like, not a tacoBurrito, a Crunchwrap, dan.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Crunchwrap.
It was like a.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Crunchwrap, but it was like bean in between instead
of cheese.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I forget what it was.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Are you vegan or something?
The Double Stuffs, do you notlike that?
The Double Stuff, burrito, theDouble Decker.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Double, Decker, yeah, double Decker, dude I'll bet
Jason Biggs puts his dick inthat double-decker dude, All
right, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa whoa, whoa, I'm feeling
this.
I'm feeling this, ahollowed-out Twinkie.
A hollowed-out Twinkie whenhe's done, when he's done a
tallied-out Dude, dude, dude,and then he fills it back up.
You know what I'm?
(29:25):
No one knows.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Eugene Levy comes down.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
He's got it on his lip, dude, and he's like Jim,
why don't you go ahead and havea seat?
I'm going to say, my mom andmyself found a Twinkie and we
thought to ourselves we're goingto eat it.
It was filled with semen.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
That's like Van Wilder.
That's why I don't eat LongJohn.
I'm going to say a jelly-filleddonut, Dude we talked about
this the other day.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
Dude, think about how many things have John in it.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
John Doe.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Long John.
John, I'm going to sayjelly-filled donut Long John.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Silver is Fucking Denver dude.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
John fucking Elway.
Is John in it, dude?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
John.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Lennon John.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Lennon.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
Pre-getting shot in the face Okay, and then
pre-getting shot in the face,okay.
Number three John.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Hannaf Jelly-filled donut.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
That just makes you dude, or Boston cream pie.
Oh yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Boston cream pie.
Boston cream pie.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Dude, that's the name of the first girl I fucked.
Dude, we all called her Bostoncream pie Boston cream pie.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Yeah, because everyone had a turn.
She's from Boston.
Yeah, dude, were you in Bostontoo.
Was it like 50?
We?
Speaker 3 (30:32):
called her Little League, so everyone had a turn.
Oh yeah, that was good, wecalled her.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
T-Bone I'm a baseball guy.
What's the fourth thing We'lllet?
Speaker 3 (30:41):
you come up with one, so we got burrito.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Oh yeah, and we got jelly, and we got jelly-filled
donuts.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
So the fifth one, we got to come up with a consensus.
All right, brad, top of yourmind go.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I'm going to say pizza, pizza, yeah.
Oh no stromboli, there you go.
No Dude, that's too hard though.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
I'm going to go Hot Pocket for my rocket, oh my gosh
Hot.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Pocket for my rocket.
I was going to say Hot Pocket,rocket, hot Pocket, do the ham
and cheese.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Oh yeah, Dude, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Because it's like a grilled cheese.
I'm on the fly, I'm going tosay a cannoli.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Oh, dude, oh, that's good too, it's Italian.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
It's foreign, just fill it up with cream.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
I think I like the hot pocket.
It's real nice.
It's amazing hot pocket from myrocket I'm gonna come in your
cannoli hey, hey, hey stromboliyou know what I'm saying, dude?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
the hot pocket just flows out the tongue.
Hot pocket so tight.
Hot pocket from my rocket dudehot pocket, so tight afternoon
delay.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
I fucked a hot pocket and I liked it.
Dude Hot Pocket's so tightafternoon to late I fucked a Hot
Pocket and I liked it All right.
Well, hey Are we done.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, I think that wraps it up for tonight.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
This is what I say to my wife every time.
Are we done?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah, oh my God.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
If you're listening, I love you, honey, jesus, jesus.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
probably would have been 20 seconds long after I
said that Dude Jesus is cool.
He does stuff with things.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Well, hey, stick around for the next episode.
We're going to do another livebroadcast from the show or from
the Bart Bauer Bash.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
If you get in touch with us, just listen to other
shows.
I don't feel like spelling shit.
Yeah well, We'll do it thisexpulsion.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Yeah well, we'll do it.
We'll do it on the next one.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
This is roundlovey at gmailcom.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Look at your fucking browser.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
That's how you spell it Live from Bar Power.
Thanks for coming out.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Ryan, yep, love you guys.
Yeah, it was a blast, Okay,peace out.
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