January 18, 2025 • 67 mins
Ever thought about starting an "OnlyFans" account because of a single fan? That's how we celebrated our first subscriber, Chris, on the Roud and Loudy podcast! This episode is packed with laughter as we dive into some of the most ridiculous New Year's resolutions you've ever heard, including a brother-in-law's infamous golf course incident involving a towel and a tree. Our journey continues through the snowy streets of Michigan, where winter driving brings its own brand of chaos and humor—who knew a stubborn car hood could become a real-life survival challenge?
As self-proclaimed car enthusiasts, we reminisce about our childhood misadventures, like the painful yet hilarious memory of getting a finger caught in a Honda Accord's trunk at a car show. And let's not forget the wild tales from our college days, from cramped dorms and jungle juice parties to the chaos of receiving a shocking $1,300 unpaid electric bill that left us shivering in the cold. Through all the mishaps and misadventures, a unique blend of camaraderie and humor shines through, turning every challenge into a story worth telling.
Looking to the future, we let our imaginations run wild, pondering everything from autonomous vehicle crashes to Taco Bell becoming a health trend. We also speculate on rock band reunion tours, dream about the Detroit Lions winning a Super Bowl, and even toy with the bizarre concept of Kanye West as a life coach. So buckle up for a blend of nostalgia, humor, and outlandish predictions that will have you questioning if our podcast is a stroke of genius or just the ramblings of two crazy individuals.
ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.
Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.
Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Welcome back to the Roud and Loudy podcast.
This is episode three and we'vegot a pretty good show for you
tonight.
We are going to go over somewinter stories, some good, bad
fails.
You know, you name it.
We're going to throw it outthere.
We have the top five from ourprevious episode, episode two,
(00:44):
that we kind of combined andwe're going to go over that.
Eric's going to share that withyou.
And then uh yeah we have somepredictions for 2025 that, uh, I
think are going to be prettycool, pretty funny.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I did too.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We'll see, we'll see, and then so this dropped
yesterday and I didn't tell Ericabout it.
Maybe I did, but we actuallyhave one subscriber.
Holy shit we have onesubscriber and Chris, if you
know who you are, buddy, thankyou.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Dude Fall Out Boy has a song that's like Dear Chris,
you were our only friend and Iknow this is belated, but we
love you back.
Right, dude, our first fan, ourfirst well so would this be
only fans like the only right,because we only have one fan
like I'm not trying to be thatdude, right, maybe, maybe dude
(01:41):
we need to host a banquet in hishonor, if we ever make it.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Oh yeah, Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You're the first one, dude.
Mad props, chris.
All right, I don't even know ifI know you, but I feel like I
do.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
You don't, you don't, but he's a great, great guy.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Dude, that's good news.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yeah, dude grew up to 28.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Subscribers are kind of moving up in the world.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
if you ask me, you know we got one.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
So am I allowed to tell my wife I have an OnlyFans
account.
I'm on OnlyFans, are you?
No, we only have one fan, it'sironic to me.
I just thought I'd say it likethat, Right Funny thing is, if I
said that to my wife shewouldn't be fucking shocked at
all.
I say the craziest shit to herwith a straight face.
And that's why we work so well.
She's my fucking world.
(02:30):
We rock Absolutely, just likeChris.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
God.
So, anyway, in a previousepisode we did a top five worst
New Year's resolutions.
So, in short, your buddy comesup to you, he's all geek, got a
smile on his face and he's likehey, what's up, sean?
Hey, how are you?
Dude, this year I'm going toblink and that stupidest fucking
thing you've ever heard.
That's what we're after, right?
(03:00):
So if you want to listen to theprevious top five, brad did one
, I did one, and kind of thepremise with it is we don't
share it with each other.
So this episode I have a brandnew top five and I'm really
excited to share it with him.
I'm excited to hear it, man.
So, yeah, once again, go aheadand listen on Apple Spotify,
iheart, however you listen.
(03:20):
So here's our recap of the topfive worst new year's
resolutions from episode two.
All right, number five.
So these are in descendingorder.
Uh, the last one I go with isthe best um number five drinking
only miralax for a year, mrbrad, I can you imagine that
(03:40):
like?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
just how would you play around the golf?
You wouldn't, okay, I?
I have a story that we caninterject here.
So my brother-in-law yeah, andjoe, you know who you are he had
an incident at the golf courseso quotations so he goes back to
(04:04):
that golf course, right, Ithink like five years later
there is still a towel in thetree that he used to clean
himself.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Does it?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
have strings.
I'm sure it hasn't moved infive years, so I'm sure that
nobody is no dude.
If there's a towel in the tree,nobody's going to touch that
right.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
What color was the towel?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I think it was white, probably.
Oh God, yeah, yeah, that's nota flag.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That anyone should fly Like the maintenance guy is
driven by that every day.
And, by the way, oh, weird shitstain on that Either Bigfoot's
real or I got to clean this shit.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
That's a bad day.
That's a bad day to mingle Oneof these two things have to
happen.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Number four, trying every drug A to Z throughout the
year.
So I actually listed all ofthem and some of them are wild,
Like some area 51 cocktails thatwe came up with GHB, some,
whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
US 47.
I don't know, it was wild.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I don't remember what it was.
You have to listen to find outyeah, insane.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I want number three.
I want to be so good at smokingpot that I become a marijuana
success story, the white snoopdog of smoking.
Can you imagine if someone hadthat title?
They'd have clout everywhere,like that, that would be the
dude that can walk in anywhereand it's just like what up
schwab.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Like I want that I want that anywhere I go, it's
just instant.
Well, you knowab like I wantthat I want that anywhere I go
it's just instant.
Well, you know what?
I tell you what?
If you don't make it as that,maybe you can be like the round
and louty guy, you know yeah, ohmy god, it's the right one.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Again I heard he's got one subscriber.
Oh my god.
Number two I want 2025 to bethe year I finally get my taint
waxed, and then we kind of splitoff from that and like tell it
everybody, like can you imaginethat?
(05:55):
Like Walmart, hey, how youdoing today?
Yeah, not bad.
Got my taint waxed and juststraight face it, dude, just
everywhere you go.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I got my asshole bleached today.
This morning.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
It was great.
Welcome to mcdonald's.
Are you gonna be using the appwith your order today?
Go ahead when you're ready.
Yeah, uh, real quick.
Before I proceed, I just wantto let everybody in your kitchen
know I bleached my assholeyesterday.
But I'd also like a mcdouble.
You know Like a McDouble.
You know It'd be so perfect, ohshit.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
And number one.
This one had me rolling dude.
I fucking was crying over here.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
And the best part about this is with these top
fives is that I usually startwith the one that I think has
the least amount of bang.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
This was number one.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yeah, yeah, this killed me.
And maybe this shows me I needto switch the tone a little bit.
I need to go bang bang, boogieand bang bang boogie, you know
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So, number one I want to put a mirror above my head
in bed so I can startappreciating my own handiwork.
We're talking about how, likewe watch our kids do sports, but
we don't ever appreciate ourown work.
Right, you know, we watch allthese different things, but Ah
dude, I listened to that episodeagain.
I did too.
Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Dude, I was crying.
I saw stars, I was laughing sodamn hard yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It was just fantastic .
That's what's so cool aboutthis podcast, brad, is that we
get to look back on this, youknow, yeah, to look back on this
.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You know, and yeah, hell dude, maybe this time next
year we'll have four subscribers.
I have a prediction for that.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, and I can tell my wife we have a fourly friend.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I don't know, I can't fourly friends, oh my god, oh
shit.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
So anyway, with, with , uh, with our previous top
fives, if you ever want tolisten to those, did I already
do that?
I don't know, it doesn't matter.
Say it again Apple Spotify,wherever you're listening now.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And now we're going to get into our new episode,
which I'm really excited to talkabout and if you haven't
subscribed which we know youhaven't, except Chris, Chris.
Go ahead and hit that subscribebutton, maybe we'll have four
five.
I Go ahead and hit thatsubscribe button, you know,
maybe we'll have four five, Idon't know We'll have a
prediction on that Dude.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
We're small enough right now that we could shout
out all of them until we get,like you know, like what up,
melinda, what up Susan, kitty,cat girl nine.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
How you?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
doing.
So do you got any funny winterstories for you?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I do.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I have a couple tonight and to set the tone a
little bit.
We are in the Midwest, so partof this podcast is we are in
Michigan, so we deal with a lotof snow.
We're not in the UP so we don'tget dumped on like crazy, but
right now there's snow all overthe roads and I really feel the
effects of it.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I drive 45 minutes to work every day.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
I drive close to an hour so and I have to go back
roads.
Yep, yeah, it sucks, dude I go.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I go back roads because, well, I don't know, you
run into the people that thatdrive like 10 with their
flashers on.
Yeah, like get the hell out ofthe way.
Okay, everybody out therethat's listening.
If you're one of those people,just get off the road for a
minute, just stop.
If you have 40 cars behind you,just move over for a minute and
just let some people go.
(09:09):
I get it.
You're scared or whatever.
You know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Stop being a dick.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, Dude.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I always get stuck behind buses and I get stuck
behind like semis heading toAllegan?
Why the fuck is a semi headingto Allegan?
It's like what the hell are youdoing?
There's four businesses here,you know.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Anyway, they're the meth delivery trucks.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Or they're going to pick it up.
I don't know Whichever.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
We're self-taught pharmacists.
We're delivering in order.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
All right.
So my first story.
This is back when I was, uh, Ithink I was around 20, okay, and
, um, I had an 84 grand prix.
It was a big boat, right, ifyou remember those dude.
Those were sweet and uh, so Ihad my starter went out and it's
the middle of winter, okay, andit's cold as shit.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Did it go out on the road?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
No, I was actually.
I was at my apartment where Iwas staying.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Went out in the parking lot, I would go out to
start it up and it doesn't start, right, fuck.
So I go grab a new starter,because I work on my own shit,
because you know, know, I'm justthat guy and I've I raised the
hood and those hoods.
Back then they had springs oneach side, right, they would
hold the hood up for you.
(10:32):
You didn't have to have the,the stupid rod in there that
holds it up, which I understandwhy they do that now.
Okay, so was it the latch?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
but then it went to a spring.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
So you pop the hood and you lift the latch, Yep, and
then there's, it springs up andthere's two springs on each
side of the hood that hold it up.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Weird.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
And it was a giant hood, right, yeah?
So anyway, I pop the hood and Iget down there.
I'm taking the starter off andI'm working on it.
I'm laying in the snow rightUnder starter off and I'm
working on it.
I'm laying in the snow rightunder the car.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Under the car, I've got it jacked up and hoods up
jack hoods up.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I got to jack saying under it and everything you know
so, trying to be safe, and Ihave to shovel snow out of the
way so I can get down in there,because we just got like six or
eight inches of snow and shit isnot going well.
Like I take the starter, I'mtrying to put the new one in,
right?
And there's shims and you gotto get in there and get the
(11:30):
proper fit and all that bullshit.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Pontiac probably wasn't known for their designs,
right yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah.
Which is why they're not here,right.
So, for whatever reason, Ipause Right.
Sometimes you got to walk away,uh-huh.
So for whatever reason, I pauseright.
Sometimes you got to walk away.
So I'm over the hood, I've gotboth hands.
I'm on the driver's side, I'vegot both hands over the fender,
right.
So I'm like I'm pissed and I'mlike I just kind of give the car
(12:02):
a shove down like son of abitch, you know, and the hood
drops and my right no, my leftthumb okay, my left thumb gets
shut between the hood and thefender.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
So if you can imagine .
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I'm on the driver's side right, my left thumb is
there and I'm back towards theback and I can.
I can reach the the side mirrorright.
So there's no fucking way I'mreaching the latch in the front.
There is nobody around.
Oh, it's 10 fucking degreesoutside.
What time of day it's?
(12:39):
Um, we'll say four o'clock Idon't know three o'clock four
o'clock somewhere in there.
So I end up I have to rip mythumb, my thumb out of the
fucking hood where it's shut.
So to this day I still have ascar there.
From where?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I ripped it out I had like skin, like pulled back and
so kind of explain to me howyour your thumb got, but you
couldn't reach the latch.
That's the only thing, if youdon't mind.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
So if you can imagine , I'm on the driver's side right
Yep.
My thumb is between the hoodand the fender.
Yep, I can reach the sidemirror right.
Yep, the latch is all the wayin the front of the car.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Gotcha, I can't fucking reach it Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
So there's no way.
Oh my God, how?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
long did you sit there before you had to?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
make Until I made the decision to rip my thumb out.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Dude.
You had a real life saw moment,right when it's like dude.
What if?
The fucking doll came out ofnowhere.
It was like hey, Brad, how areyou?
Speaker 3 (13:37):
I know you want to start your 84 Pontiac Grand Prix
today.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
It's just not happening.
But you have two choices.
Yeah, so, dude it was.
I was like fuck, what do I do?
I'm like I'm looking around,there's nobody.
I'm I'm calling, I'm likeyelling, there's nobody.
Nobody coming.
I'm like shit, I probably, Idon't know.
Minute, minute and a halfbefore I just decide to okay,
here we go, did the nail justcome right off no, luckily it
didn't.
I think there was enough gap inthere that it just peeled the
skin out right just dude, beforethe next episode we have to
(14:15):
look up what an 84 grand prixhood weighs oh yeah do you know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
yeah, it was.
It was down and latched like Icouldn't pull it out.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I'm trying to pull the the the hood back up.
You know it's latched.
There's no way.
I mean, luckily it was down andlatched, Like I couldn't pull
it out.
I'm trying to pull the hoodback up.
You know, and it's latched.
There's no way.
I mean luckily it didn't closeall the way down, right,
Otherwise it would have probablytaken my thumb off.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
This was not even in the plan tonight.
So since you told that story, Igot one for you.
That's kind of crazy.
So you know, the auto show inDetroit, I got one for you.
That's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
So you know the auto show in Detroit, yeah, Like
every year.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
It's like the big one in America.
So there's the like SEMA orFEMA in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Did you say semen, sema or FEMA?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Oh, sema it's one of those two, but it's like a huge
like.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Isn't FEMA the ones that are out of money?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, they're not doing well, yeah, I don't know
that I'd go to the car show.
You know, um, so the big one indetroit it's at like coble hall
.
So me, so my dad and brotherwere really really big into cars
growing up.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Like it was a big, big deal to them, like, like,
they liked like the ferraris andthe oh yeah the amberginis just
really cool designs and yeah, Iremember having those posters
on my wall yeah, like my dadalways read like road and track
and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Like I was a huge sports kid so it wasn't really
my thing, but like I was justgeeked to spend the day with
them, right.
So my dad had like a I don'tknow 1999 Honda Accord, like the
white one that has two doorsOkay, fantastic, with the weird
little triangle lights in theback right.
Yep, so we get out of cobalthalls.
(15:47):
We drove from kalamazoo two anda half hours.
We get out.
Obviously, all of us are readyto get the fuck out of the car,
just like you do oh yeah I'vethat far.
We get out of the car and weopen the trunk.
We got like snacks and you know, a cooler back there, whatever.
I'm rummaging through it whilemy brother was at the trunk
before me and he was done.
So, just like, it's like thatknee jerk reaction, right Like.
(16:11):
Like it's like when your wife'sshowering or something you got
to pee and she's like don'tflush, you know Like, and as
soon as you're done, it's likewhat you always do, right, right
.
So my brother shuts the trunk,dude, oh, no shit.
My brother catches my middlefinger dude, oddly enough in the
trunk dude and I'm like 10years old no, like shit dude, it
was caught, completely caughtin the trunk like like no wiggle
(16:35):
, like like it's not coming outof there, like do you got wd-40
or?
You know yeah so my dad is in apanic and like I can't even
imagine being in that situationnow, like with my daughter or my
son.
Like I love them so much that,like, if something were to
happen like that, I'd lose it.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Dude, my, my finger must've been in there.
I mean it felt like fiveminutes, but I'll bet it was 30
seconds and it was awful.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Get out my.
My whole nail is just full ofblood.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Like to just full of blood, oh yeah, like to the
point that it's poking out thetop, like that was so much pain,
man, yeah and then to have towalk around a car show, yeah,
for like six hours, and you knowand your fingers just throbbing
yeah, and the two people thatyou look up to the most.
They're geeked to be there andyou want them.
You want them to have fun,right.
So like you can't even complain, but you're not even old enough
to understand pain and you justwent through that Like it was
(17:28):
such a weird day, dude.
I have a picture of me Like Istill remember it because I'm
wearing like a Michael Jordanjersey.
Oh yeah, I'm giving a thumbs upand if you look in the picture
like I, have my thumb cocked alittle bit.
And like it, it looks like areally gangster person is really
trying to make an impact withtheir middle finger the thumb
out.
I don't know if that makes adifference, but yeah, it's just
(17:52):
my nails full of blood, oh shit.
Anyway, oh damn so that wasn'teven my winter story.
I'm so sorry if we go over.
That's all right, I mean, youdon't get your fingers caught in
trunks like that doesn't happen, right?
We're Eskimo trunk brothersdude.
Oh my God, it's like one in thefront, one in the back Paniac,
honda, dude.
(18:13):
Yeah, I've been there, you know.
So I got a really, really,really funny winter story for
you.
So I'm going to take you backto the college years.
All right, so 2010.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Okay, and I went, so I'm going to take you back to
the college years.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
So, all right, 2010, okay, and I went to what I went
to western michigan university,so that's right.
In kalamazoo, yep and uh, thegolden years of learning,
personal growth personal growthlife lessons that no textbook
could teach you oh, yeah, youknow my third year was kind of a
high a highlight reel of, ifyou ask me, thank you to the
(18:49):
kind folks at bronco apartments.
So first year I lived on thedorms it was wild, I mean you
have a, you have a roommate, youhave a room that's, you know,
no bigger than a utility closet,and don't you?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
have to stay on the dorms.
Yeah, it's kind of it seemslike it's just a money grab, but
in the in the end it is kind ofcool because you get to stay on
the dorms.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yeah, it's so weird.
It seems like it's just a moneygrab, but in the end it is kind
of cool because you get tolearn campus and you get a lot
of your friends that way.
So a lot of my homies were thepeople on my floor that we would
just do crazy shit.
We could do a whole episode onthat dude.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
We used to have jungle juice parties.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
We may do that someday.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, jungle juice parties, all sorts of crazy
shits Like filling up bathtubswith liquor and inviting 30
people to a closet to get allfucked up, did it?
You know?
Yeah, so, anyway, broncoApartments.
So this is my third year ofcollege, right?
Yeah, so these beauties werethe equivalent of a dive bar,
(19:43):
the apartment.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Okay, like if an apartment was a dive bar.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Okay, that's where I stayed, okay gritty,
questionable, but somehowcharming, you know, yes, yep, so
only a only a broke college kidwould really appreciate that
too.
Right, like you, like like myparents pulled up to like help
me move in.
They're like you gotta befucking kidding me like this
looks like shit.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Dude, are you fucking serious right now and you're
like this is got to be?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
fucking kidding me.
Like this looks like shit, dude, Are you fucking serious right
now and you're like this isgreat, Like, dude, it's a
perfect two bedroom fucking bath.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Like dude, I used to live in a utility closet.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
This is an upgrade.
So the deal that they wererunning which is really weird is
rent and internet was reallywhat we had to cover.
So we thought so water trashutility is recovered by them.
Plus, it was really weird butyou got a 40 gift card to get
like cottage in, like a pizzaplace, like every other week or
(20:33):
something.
Okay, so like that's probablywhat draw drew us in, which is
so stupid right like yeah, but Imean when you're a college kid.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
I mean pizza is what you live on it's so true, but I
want pizza and ramen noodlesdude ramen noodle pizza needs to
be created.
No, no, nobody needs to createa ramen pizza.
Yeah, no so long story short.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I I had a really awesome roommate growing up.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
His name's jacko I mean just, you've met jack with
the barbara bash.
Just a fucking great guy rightflew from fucking arizona yeah
to be there at the party.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Just a fucking great guy Right Flew from fucking
Arizona.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah, to be there at the party.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
What a fucking dude Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Well, he's been one of my best friends my whole
fucking life.
I lived with him in college, sowe got duped, right.
So we go to this apartmentcomplex.
You know, they got the freepizza coupons, dude.
Of course we're signing up forthat shit, right?
So it's probably December, it'sclose to Christmas, it's winter
break for college, so it's gotto be like mid-December, you
(21:32):
know, probably sometime betweenDecember 15 and 25, 2010.
We walk into our apartment andlights are on in the hallway.
And lights are on when you walkup the staircase, not when you
open our door.
Lights are off.
Okay, we're.
We're like six months into this.
Okay, yeah, lights are off.
(21:52):
It is so fucking cold in there.
You can see your breath oh yeahlike I wasn't worried about any
of our fridge items or freezeritems, like they're totally fine
, right, right.
So we freaked the fuck out,naturally.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Like we got our power shut off, dude.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
So here we are thinking oh my God, we get pizza
coupons and they pay ourutilities, and they pay this,
whatever right.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Shadiest place in the world dude.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
No shit If.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Denny's had like an office where, like, like the
managers all worked.
It would look like this do youknow what I mean?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
like, if like, all the dandies employees like had
their own office like this iswhat it would look like, right?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
so we called the electric company, just pissed
off, and we're like we this hasto be a mistake, right?
Yeah, the deal is you guyscover utilities, you guys cover
water, you guys cover trash.
We cover the rest so we had topay our internet and our rent,
yep, so we thought it was a hugemistake and it was not in the
(22:54):
way that we know shit at all.
So they said you owe usthirteen hundred dollars.
We called up and we're like it'sright around christmas time,
like you gotta be fuckingkidding me, right?
She then tells me that ithasn't been paid in 14 months.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
No, shit we've been there six, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
And honestly if I'm being completely brutally honest
right now I never in a millionyears thought that that's how
like electrical worked in anapartment.
I thought it was either on allor nothing like right like like
you either, have all the lightson or you don't.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Right.
Well, you didn't have any.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Do you get?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
what I'm saying though.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Like the other, the other tenants had their lights
on.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I thought it would either be like the apartment
lost it Yep, I didn't know itwas individualized either.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Like it was weird for me, me, okay.
So they tell us, 14 months,1300 bucks.
Me and jack were like what thefuck?
Dude, fuck these people, fucktheir pizza coupons, dude, you
guys fucking suck.
So we go in the office, rightyeah, and they tell us flat out
like if you want your heatturned back on, it's 1300 and
from that day we'll be there ina week oh, my god like like like
, talk about shitting on an arty, shitty situation.
(24:09):
Okay, it's like hey, if youscrap up money for, uh, that
guy's rent that was here beforeyou, you know the guy you've
never met before and owe nothingto um.
Also, it'll take a week becauseof your goodwill, fuck you wow
so in a confused panic westormed the apartment office
right like we walk in there.
We're hot oh yeah likeabsolutely, you know what I mean
(24:30):
.
Like like mom just found weedin the fucking in the phone in
your in your room during your 14.
Like you hear that, like we'refucking done here, you know so
we thought you covered this.
You know we want we walk inthis lady and she's just dude,
yeah she she doesn't give a fuck.
No, she's smoking a cigarette inher office.
(24:51):
Okay, fucking shit everywhere,dude looks like a hoarder house,
like they could have done adocumentary on cleaning her
fucking office, right.
So she's looking at us, shekind of like.
She's just kind of like nope,we cover trash water, you cover
internet utilities and rent.
And then me and jacko had thatlight bulb click and it's like
we've never gotten a fuckingbill.
(25:12):
We've never gotten a consumer'sbill yep, right, yeah.
And want to know why I didn'tlook for one, because I didn't
think I had to fucking pay it.
I could have sworn.
That lady told me that's how itworked, right.
So she literally looks at meand janko, like when we have the
slide balls, like okay, so ifwe're supposed to pay this, then
where's our fucking bill?
(25:32):
Why have we not gotten a bill?
yeah she looks at points andgoes could be in the stack over
there.
There is a stack of mail, buddy, that is okay, you never
fucking checked the mail.
Okay, like eight foot highceilings tables, maybe four,
this stacks five deep.
All of it's touching thefucking ceiling, buddy wow me
(25:55):
and jacko, are going throughthis mail and just fucking
scowling at this lady.
Just what the fuck?
Where's the fuck?
We're like looking for ourapartment number and other names
that we don't even know exist.
Yeah, you know, frustratingthat shit is oh my god and, like
me and jacko, both have anxiety.
We're both, we both made it.
But like god damn, like talkabout putting someone in a
(26:18):
pressure situation, so she knewthat there was a stack of
fucking mail piling up anddidn't say anything.
Dude yeah, what the fuck.
So yeah, so we look through 2000 pieces of mail, like indiana
jones looking for a fuckingartifact from tenants, some dude
.
Some of this mail was datedseven years ago.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Oh, okay, so 2010.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Some of this mail was like almost y2k era oh shit yes
, wow so that's fucked up I juststay at my parents and here's,
here's the twist.
That's kind of hilarious, okay,so just like a dorm we had.
Uh, so in the dorm you share abathroom with another, but like
your rooms are connected by thebathroom right so same thing
(27:02):
with this apartment, but weshared a deck.
Okay, so same thing we didn'thave to shit in the same place,
which is really neat yeah youknow.
But we could go uh, smoke a duveon the porch right marshall
mark, great fucking guys.
So we go over there to theirapartment, which also doesn't
have power.
Okay, also happened to them,okay oh shit they're just like
(27:25):
back then they were true bluestoners, just didn't give a fuck
right like so they weren'tgonna go down there and cause a
ruckus, like me and jacko were.
They were gonna let me andjacko go cause the ruckus.
Oh, yeah and figure out what thefuck's going on through us,
right so this is the kicker dude, I stayed at my parents for
like five days and, dude, that'sweird, like when you're like 20
or whatever, and you, you havethat independence and then you
(27:46):
have to come back yeah awful,yeah right it was just weird.
Not that I don't love them.
They're the.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
They're the shit, dude yeah, no, everybody gets
that.
Yeah, if you're out and youhave freedom, you don't want to
go back I come back five dayslater to the apartment to get
clothes.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Like dude, it is freezing.
So, like the first time youcould see our breath.
Yeah, this time, like when Iwalk in dude, nipples are hard
Like it's fucking brutal.
Yeah, I walked in there with acoat on, like a hat.
You know I'm not a scarf guy.
I don't even want to lie aboutit, but, like you know, I was
bundled up and five days laterwalk on my deck.
(28:24):
I realize that marshall andmark have been there the whole
fucking time.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Oh shit, how the fuck are they surviving?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
they got like their parents, live in town too that's
the best part dude theirparents live 15 minutes away,
just like mine.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Do right dude, they got like a little uh pit, like a
burn pile or something likethat, out there on the deck
Sleeping bags, a tent indoors.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
dude A buddy heater.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Lamps and, like Coleman fucking lamps everywhere
.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Illuminating the sky, dude.
Apparently they were doingtheir own fucking survival show.
Extreme apartment livingfrostbite edition Five days.
I still, to this day, have somuch respect for them oh, yeah,
yeah and those are dudes Ihaven't talked to in a while but
honestly I love them to death,man and dude like.
I tell that story all the timebecause it blows my mind and
(29:17):
maybe they did go home, but Idon't want to believe it that
way right like sorry yeah dude,you want to hold up a hot dog.
I'm outside like smoking acigarette.
One of them holds up a hot dog.
I'm outside smoking a cigarette.
One of them holds up a hot doglike Schwab, you want a hot dog.
And it's just like dude,they're nestled in.
This is like a whole new springbreak for them.
They've been smoking weed,They've been eating hot dogs,
they have camping equipment.
Dude, they didn't have to pay afee.
(29:38):
They definitely didn't have topay for the power.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
oh my, probably not even paying rent at that point
they're the true champions,right like bronco apartments
taught me a lot.
Okay, they taught me always askwho's paying the utilities.
I think that's a key questionnow, you know like you know,
when you start dating someone,you move in like, hey, you got
this, or do I?
probably should ask that, yeah,just throw it out there and
never underestimate theresilience of college students
(30:04):
armed with a grill and amotherfucking dream.
You know what I mean, likethat's.
But here we are, like stayingwith mom and dad hating it.
Dude, come back five days later.
Haven't talked to them, they'rejust nestled in and having a
blast.
No shit, yeah.
Playing cards, dude with awhole, like like camp, like a
(30:25):
camp like.
They could have started theirown for survivorship, like a
lantern that you like put theoil in.
You know, like, like that kindof shit.
They're eagle scouts, so like,they're very, like, very
resourceful dudes, oh yeah nice,awesome.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's a great story, mybest buddies, that's a great
story.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
And the best thing about all these stories too,
everybody they're true yeahevery single one of these.
You can call my friend jackoright now.
Be like tell me about the timethat your power got shut off.
You look, oh, my fucking god,you know, oh yeah, hey, jacko,
you know hey tell us about thetime that the cops knocked on
the door?
And eric was smoking down theapartment, blurring records, at
3 am on cinco de mayo, on athursday oh yeah, I still got
(31:05):
the scar on my thumb.
Dude, dude my middle finger likeit's still like it's still yeah
, I can show it to you now, youknow all right, so I got a
second story all right.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
So this is when I was 14, okay, okay, and it was
wintertime obviously, and whereI lived, we had a gravel pit
that was it was called.
It was wintertime obviously,and where I lived we had a
gravel pit that was on Big HillRoad, right.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Was there a big hill on the road?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Yeah, there was actually.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Fuck yeah dude.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
So I actually went on maps and got the distance from
my house to the gravel pit right, because when we were there
there was five of us.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
What town is this?
Speaker 1 (31:54):
This is Sturgis.
Grew up in Sturgis, Dude hotnow.
Oh yeah, they're the last one.
I wanted to go there the otherday, they were closed.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Try the ranch.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Are you a ranch guy?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Dude, I haven't been there in years.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Next time you're there, trust me, okay, order
your three burgers for six bucks, right.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
Order your fries yeah .
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Ask them for a side ranch.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
They make it in-house and it is to die for dude.
All right, I'll check it out.
Continue the big river, the bighill story.
Yeah, the big hill story.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Yeah, the big hill story.
So it was 0.7 miles from myhouse to the gravel pit right.
Yep, I believe there was fourof us, four of us guys.
There was me, john Corey andGreg how old were you guys.
Everybody was around 14.
I was 14.
(32:45):
A couple of guys were probably15.
I'm not sure we were all aboutthat age.
Yep, and so we took our sledsthere, right, because it's
wintertime and there's a greatbig fucking gravel pit, there's
a big hill right, yeah.
We're going fucking Mach 2 downthe hill, right, yep.
Well, we're all there and, forwhatever reason, we find this
great big plastic sheet and it'sreally thick.
(33:08):
It's probably a half inch thickplastic.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Like at the top of the hill.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, we just found it somewhere in the gravel pit
and we're like fucking A, thisis plastic, this should go right
.
So we all get on this sheet ofplastic, which is probably like
a four by eight sheet of plastic, and we all get on and we're
like, pull up the front like youwould a toboggan, you know, and
like home alone.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
We're just going down the stairs, yeah okay, dude, we
fucking flew.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I mean, we were fucking moving.
Well, what we didn't realizewas because our sleds weren't
that fast and obviously you haveall this weight right behind
you.
Yeah, so you're gonna get somemore velocity and some distance.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
And what we didn't realize, was there a great big
pile of tires in the middle ofthe gravel pit?
Was it snow covered?
Yeah, you couldn't see.
Okay, we hit that fucking pileof tires and we fucking launched
.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
We're jumping this Holy shit.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Dude, we had to launch like 10, 15 feet.
Oh my God, dude, we had tolaunch like 10 15 feet.
So we're like we fucking getdown we're all scattered right,
we all fucking look at eachother like fucking hey that was
awesome.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Let's do it again.
Oh my god, oh my god, right,only a 14, 15 year old, right so
we get up, we're going.
I don't know, we went probablythree or four times right how
big is this drop like, if youdon't mind painting the picture
like from like.
Okay, so you're the top, I'mthinking ground.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
I'm thinking it's probably.
I mean, I was 14 right, so hugethough yeah, I'm.
I'm thinking it was probably 30to 40 feet okay, so that's a
big from the top where westarted to the bottom.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Four people on the same sheet.
Yeah, of plastic plastic, justflat.
Of plastic Plastic, just flatplastic dude.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
So we get down on like the third or fourth trip
down.
I'm in the front and we go down.
We hit the pile of tires, justlike we've done several times
already.
We come down and every fuckingone of those guys land on me
Right and my fucking leg isunderneath and my leg breaks
(35:05):
Like my foot.
The top of my foot fuckingbreaks.
Oh no, I'm in fucking agonizingpain.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
So when you hit the tires, they all hit you.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
No, we jumped the tires and everybody, all the
guys, landed on me.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Okay, so everyone got airborne from the tires.
Yeah, oh yeah, they're airborne, they're coming down.
You landed first, being infront.
Yep.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Everybody's fucking pile driving me.
Oh God, so I'm fucking layingthere, I'm not moving.
All those fucking guys get upand go again.
They just fucking leave methere.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding they justkept riding, oh yeah, and they
come down, and they damn nearland on me again Every time.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Do they know your foot's broken?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
No, I don't know it's broken Right, it's broken.
No, I don't know it's brokenRight.
True, I'm just, I'm fucking inpain.
So they come down again andthey, they finally ask like dude
, are you okay?
I'm like no, not fucking Okay,Do you?
I'd be up fucking moving withyou and you know like do you
think I'm sunbathing in this?
Speaker 2 (36:01):
This is what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
So these guys realize you know like something's wrong
.
So basically that's the end ofour sledding time, right?
So there's the one guy, Greg,like he leaves, he goes and we
walk down there, right we don'thave a car, we have no vehicle.
We walk down there with oursleds.
So, john and Corey, I get in asled and they're pulling me back
(36:26):
to the house Up the hill.
Up we got to go up the gravelpit and then they're like
through the woods and there'slike other hills and shit that
they got.
I think at one time I got offthe sled so that they could like
have a break and I like crawleda little ways, but yeah, they
pulled me 0.7 miles from thegravel pit back to the house.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
I take off my boot when we get there, like I can't
even hardly take it off yeah,it's my mom yeah, so over the
river and through the gravel pitto bradley's house, we go right
so, yeah, I get, I get home myboot.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I can't even hardly take it off right.
My foot is swollen andeverything.
Yeah, I had a major fractureacross my growth plate on my
foot.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So I was in a cast and shit for the night.
You know, it's like taking offa ski boot.
That's too small, right, yeah,oh my God.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Yeah, so that was my yeah.
Are you a?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
big fan of sledding.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
No, I mean dude, I'd do it again, but I'm not.
I'm going last, right, I'm inthe back.
I'm going to Echo Valley, I'mgoing somewhere where I know if
something bad like this happens.
I can talk to someone.
We're not trespassing right?
Oh my God, dude, that's insane,it sucked.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
That must have been a long day.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Oh yeah, I mean I don't know how long it took him
to drag me back, but it was dark, I think.
Three kids hauling it, two, theone guy I don't know he left,
or whatever, I don't know.
But yeah, johnny cory, I don'tassociate with people with
broken legs.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
I'm out of here right , yeah, yeah, dude, that's nuts,
but yeah they were?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
did your folks like freak out when you came home
with a broken leg?
Speaker 1 (38:05):
no, I mean, my mom was a little bit.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
My mom was a nurse, so dude, mine she was fucking
too no shit yeah, yeah, and Ibroke a lot of dude, I broke a
couple bones too, like I'm justbeing real like yeah that's the
best part, though.
Like is when.
So, my brother, like do youremember back in the day when
they used to have like hills,like with, like flower, with
like flower boxes in them?
Like you'd have a hill by yourhouse, you'd like throw a flower
(38:30):
box into the hill.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Oh yeah, Sure.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Yep, we saw that and we're like we got to jump it.
Right Like probably 10-footdrop.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Okay, I get in the sled, my brother's, like,
whatever you go, don't let go.
Yeah, like fourth grade, maybeI let go, right, the first one
to try out this technique, right?
Yeah, I land so hard on my arm,dude, I go inside, I take my
coat off and it is fucking huge.
And like dude bones likepopping out a little bit like
(38:59):
not like out, but like it'sprotruding.
Yeah, you can see it under theskin, my mom is being so nice to
me, dude, she's like, it's notthat bad, it's okay, right, you
know like hey, you know it's notthat bad, it's okay, right, you
know like, hey, you know, it'snot that bad yeah.
Brother comes in, dude, yourhand looks fucked up.
Look, and that's when I knew,and that's when I panicked,
right, right, your mom wastrying to keep you calm.
Yeah, she kept me calm.
(39:21):
Who's that, you know?
Oh my God.
So I got another funny collegestory for you.
So the first one about theapartments.
It was very true, and Jacko'sin this one as well.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Me and my roommate Jacko, and then our two suite
mates were Joe and Ted fromTraverse City and they were just
the coolest dudes, yeah, Likejust really goofy guys.
So like, if you've ever heardme say the term, like doubt it.
When someone like, likewhatever someone says, when
they're like hey, you never shota par on this hole.
Like doubt it, you know likethat comes from them dude, like
they'd say it about anythingyeah it's just hilarious.
(39:57):
So the four of us were reallyinto rock like and I still am so
a big part of my growing up wasgoing to concerts yeah I'm I'm
still super passionate aboutmusic and I kind of, like you,
know heavier music.
So, um, not not so much likeblah, blah, blah, like screaming
in your face stuff, but like I,like you, know alternative rock
(40:18):
or like oldie rock, Right yeah.
So we get a, we get a concertand we're all excited about it.
We're college kids, we don'tget to get out much, we're broke
as shit.
So we find a time in winter.
To be exact, it was March 21st2008.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
March 21st.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
We get tickets to go see.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
Three Days Grace.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
And dude, they're a great band.
I understand that there'speople out there that aren't a
huge fan of them.
That's fine.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Yep, fuck them.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Early, early.
Three Days Grace and AdamGontier's singing for them.
They're insane.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Like they're just.
They're a talented group.
Breaking Benjamin's opening.
Seether's opening.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Oh, yeah, Like three really nice.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
I mean to see all three of those bands now be a
lot of money right like there'sno way, that's a whatever.
We paid 40 ticket yeah so wehad floor seats at the palace
man three days grace breakingbenjamin's seether.
We're fucking geeked.
So we get in my car, which is abowling alley.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
I mean, it's an old buick, right like we call it the
bowling alley because itsmelled like pot and smelled
like cigarettes.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Like a bowling alley, right right, so we take off at
two o'clock, show starts atseven and it's sold out.
I mean it's, it's epic, likedude, like this before stopover
or whatever, but like I'm sureyou could sell this ticket for
200 bucks, right?
Oh yeah, we take off fromkalamazoo to detroit, so we're
heading to auburn hills area,we're going to the palace and it
(41:44):
is dumping snow outside.
Yeah, it is just awful.
So I mean traffic is is movingslower than stephen hawking
running a mile right like it'slike like I truly, I truly feel
like we could get there quicker,okay, if we were walking.
(42:05):
You know, like, like one ofthose days, dude, everyone's
tense.
We have 168 miles to go.
Full-on fucking blizzard, dude.
Like before we did the show Ilooked it up, dude it snowed
like six to nine inches from 1pm to 5 pm that day oh shit like
full-on blizzard.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Dude, there's cars in the ditch everywhere, like not
like one or two right everywheredude like well, it was like 94,
right yeah, and 94 is notoriousfor that dude and there's not
like dude.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
This is like before MapQuest, right?
So like we're not printing outdirections, thinking, hey, we're
going to get fucked in asnowstorm.
Like we should have alternativeroutes.
Like that's not a thing, it'snot a dude thing we just figure
out how to fix it.
Throw some duct tape on thatbitch and let's go you know, I'm
a duct tape.
So we sit in traffic, dude, andlike hour goes by.
Look down, like dude, we'vetraveled two miles in an hour.
(42:57):
Holy shit, we left it.
We left at two o'clock.
Oh my god, we finally called itat six o'clock.
Okay, we were so pissed off ohyeah yeah I live for that stuff
yeah, I still do.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
No, I still do how far?
Did you go total.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
If I had to guess, I would say somewhere in the
ballpark of 10 miles.
So oh my god so that's leavingkalamazoo, you know yeah that's
heading, you know that's gettinglike to 131 to 94?
No, not even close to battlecreek buddy, we're talking like
oakland drive 75.
Yeah, we made it to sprinkle,you know what I'm saying?
(43:36):
Like four fucking hours, dudelike if, if, if, uh google maps
existed right now, like thatgirl would straight up get on
our fucking screen and be likeyou're not gonna make it.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
You know like here's the.
You're running late.
You're still on the fastestroute, dude.
Here's the kicker.
So we're pissed all of us right.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
We're all out 50 bucks, we know it yeah we're all
out in experience and we knowit.
Yep, like I don't know if weall try to even go to a concert
after that, like me and jackowent to a lot.
We saw blank.
We saw a lot of cool bands butlike I don't think and when I
say we went to a lot, I meanlike we probably went to 15
concerts a year- yeah.
Like this one we were geekedabout.
Right, right, right.
Here's the kicker dude, readyfor the kicker.
(44:17):
It's not a good one.
I'm shopping Christmas time.
I'm at Best Buy, yep.
Okay, remember, best Buy was athing, yep.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
That's where you shopped back then, oh dude.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Three Days Grace live at the Palace.
They filmed their live DVD.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
No shit.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
That day.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Oh wow, that sucks that fucking day, dude Wow.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
That we traveled 10 miles in four hours.
Wow, they filmed their live DVDthat night.
Dude, no, we traveled 10 milesin four hours Wow they filmed
their live DVD that night.
Dude, no shit, I've neverwatched it.
I can't, I just can't.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
I just can't watch it , yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
And after that, like dude, adam Gontier leaves the
band.
They don't ever make anotherconcert like that.
Like dude, that dude.
Can you imagine how electricthat must have been?
Oh, yeah, Well, Can you imaginehow electric that must have
been?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Oh, yeah, well, maybe you should watch the video and
you'd know.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
But also like Three Days Grace was on the up and up
back then, so like they had justmade it, yeah, like for venues
around us right, like it wouldbe like the intersection of Step
1.
20 Monroe Live is Step 2.
The Orbit Room is Step 3.
The Deltaplex is Step 4.
And fucking in fucking vanandel's step five yeah they're
on step five right they'refilming it yep they're fucking
(45:52):
crazy dudes yeah I'll bet thatwas an epic show oh yeah, I bet
we fucking blew it.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
No shit, the bowling alley, you know what?
Speaker 2 (45:59):
you should watch it dude, I don't think I can like
it's just like one of thosethings like right yeah it's
you're gonna get triggered likeI.
Yeah, it's like fear of missingout, like what the fuck he
played this song like but, dude,you know they played like a 22
song set that night yeah, youknow, they know.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Oh, I'm sure that show was awesome.
Oh my god, yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
And here I am just fucking smoking cigarettes with
my fucking sweet mates dudedoing watching the snowfall yeah
, fuck, knowing that in twoyears my power would shut off
and it would be all right.
You know, at At least we're notstuck in traffic.
Right, like if Jacko would havesaid that to me come home like
we're like seeing our breath,like at least we're not stuck in
traffic, Brad fucking lost it.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
Right, you know oh shit Well hey man, you know what
time it is it is time for thetop five.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Fuck yeah, are you going first or second?
Speaker 1 (46:56):
I think I'll go first .
I like it All.
Right, it's tenacity Okay.
So these are our 2025predictions.
This is what's going to happenthis year, and then you know
what?
Maybe next year we'll revisitand see how accurate we were.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
We have to.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
We'll have to play this exact clip and go through
it and just be like Brad youfucking blew it, like you know
or vice versa, but yes, theseare all the things we think are
going to happen in 2025.
All right, I have no idea whatBrad's going to say, but I'm
geeked about it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
So you know some of them.
I think might be funny, but youknow we'll see.
So my first one rowden laudywill have 100 count at 100
subscribers 100 chris's.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
That's what we're gonna.
That's our unit of measure.
Dude, there you go fuck youdude?
Speaker 1 (47:43):
fuck yeah, chris okay , that's my 100 dude, 100
subscribers okay, so is that bythat's by?
Speaker 2 (47:51):
that's by december 31st okay, 25, any platform,
just any little.
Okay, I like dude, yep whatever100, we can still shout out
those people, right?
Oh yeah like we can give themsome chris love.
Yeah, we get to 100 chris'sdude, I'm in.
Yeah, hell yeah, absolutelyyeah, miranda all right, all
right, johnny.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Number two okay, number two.
Weed will be rescheduled, oh,and become federally legal dude,
we can use a debit card.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
Is that what you're telling me, bud?
That's the biggest problem Ihave with this whole dispensary
shit.
I always gotta like stop andpay some fucking bullshit fee to
get cash out, it's like justtake it from my bank right, yeah
, yeah, like no no no, sir,because if you got up, if you
got pulled over by a cop, you'refine, don't worry about it
right after I come stompingthrough you fucked right.
Speaker 1 (48:44):
Yeah, okay, all right , that's number two, okay, okay
dude, I like that.
Number three yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Number three.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Can you run for president Number three?
We will have definitive proofon whether the earth is round or
flat.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Oh, yeah, dude.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
As if we don't already.
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
All right Number four .
My God, all right Number four.
Dude Number four is Are you a?
Speaker 2 (49:16):
flat worlder.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Flat earther.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Are you a flat worlder?
Are you a flat earther?
All right, no, seriously,that's a serious question Are
you a flat earther?
Speaker 1 (49:27):
No.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Okay, thank God.
Thank God, because that's justlike dude, I mean no, I'm not,
but I you know what.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
There's so many things that don't make sense
like mosquitoes what do they do,mosquitoes?
Yeah?
I don't know.
I mean, it's keen I have.
I have a very goodunderstanding of a lot of the
things that I learned in sciencethat I question now, like in
science class in high school andshit.
(49:54):
I question the shit out of ityeah, they're full shit.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Yeah, yeah, if I can buy a rack making kit at walmart
for fucking twelve dollars yeah, I don't know that you need
your job anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
So, uh, where was that number four?
Number number four we're gonnahave 3d printed sex dolls that's
fully customizable and have anai tailored personal preferences
.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Oh my god, yeah, you imagine that oh, thank you, brad
, you like me we love you longtime would you like me to do the
same thing I did last time,when you smiled so big Like just
a robot oh my God, dude.
But like you can print them athome, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
I guess there could be a sextile army That'd be so
creepy.
Yeah, sextile army.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
With AI and stuff yeah oh yeah okay number five do
you send her through thedishwasher when you're done?
Well, they told me on the newsnet to eat the Tide Pods.
(51:10):
Is she allowed to?
Because that thing's wrecked.
You know what I mean.
Like we got to clean this.
I get it.
It's not a dish, I'm going toclean it like it's one.
Call it a spa for her.
You know who wants to go to thespa?
You know, oh shit and numberfive.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Okay, so we're coming out with all these EVs and
electric vehicles and all thisautonomous shit, right?
Yep?
So I think in 2025, we're goingto have our first autonomous
and autonomous crash.
They will run into each other.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Like two people who are letting the cars drive
themselves, but they hit.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Yep, they both fucking deserve it well, you
know what, but that's the thingthat's a big question for who
pays for that?
Yeah, who pays for that shit?
I don't know.
Yeah, so that's my top five.
That's deep.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
That's my top five dude, I'm kind of glad that
we're not rich like that, though, like dude, if I had a car that
drove like, I would spend awhole day going around like
Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone,Like I'd have like the cheese
pizza waiting for me I'd go tolike the fucking toy factory,
dude, Like you know what I mean.
Can you imagine if me and youhad driving cars, dude?
Speaker 1 (52:32):
We'd get fucked up and just go around town.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
I wouldn't want that though I don't, I, I yeah, I
don't know, I'm not sold on thatshit.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
I like driving, I do, I do, I like, uh, having some
control.
You know the naps must beawesome though.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Oh yeah, you know we, we might have to interview
someone that has a car thatdrives itself yeah, I've just
said because, like I don't evenknow what that's like.
Yeah, it's like staying at likethe ritz carlton, like I I
don't even know what that islike holiday end to me is
awesome yeah all right buddyokay, I got my top five
predictions for 2025.
These are a little bit bold.
Some of them are crazy okay sonumber one, and these are things
(53:04):
I kind of think are gonnahappen, like I you know
half-heartedly because, uh, thisis a comedy podcast, so I gotta
keep it fucking funny rightright give the fans what they
want, chris um.
So I think in 2025.
This is bold, but I I trulybelieve it.
I think a team that has neverwon the super bowl will win the
(53:26):
super bowl this year.
Oh, there's only two teams thatare left that could have that
happen?
The Lions.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
That's a bold, bold prediction there buddy, the
Lions and the Bills.
Speaker 2 (53:38):
Do you know what happened to the Bills, Brad?
They went to the Super Bowlfour times in a row.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:42):
Lost all four.
Yeah, ooh, that's Dude.
I would enjoy that.
I would enjoy either one ofthose teams you know four times
losing yeah, that's gotta hurtso bad like this is our year.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
It's not.
You know what I mean.
Like yeah so the super bowlbegan in 1967 we're talking
about 56 years, you know whenthe first super bowl bred the
green bay, the green bay packers, over the kansas city chiefs.
Speaker 1 (54:09):
Oh really, I you know who won the first Super Bowl?
Brad the.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Green.
Speaker 3 (54:10):
Bay.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Packers, the Green Bay Packers, over the Kansas
City Chiefs.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Oh, really, I did not know who they played.
Speaker 2 (54:15):
Yeah, so I think the Bills or the Lions this year
it's bold One's on NFC, one'sAFC.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
Oh, that'd be cool to have them both there so we can
have Lions-Bills Super Bowl.
That would be awesome.
Speaker 2 (54:32):
That would be awesome , and it's time to send those
fuckers home for a fifth time.
Am I right?
Oh my God, all right.
Bold prediction number two Allright, in this one, god, I hope
this happens.
I hope that a huge rock bandwill announce a reunion tour
this year.
Speaker 3 (54:47):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
And the ones that I have listed Ozzy Osbourne or
Black Sabbath.
I know he's frail dude, butOzzy Osbourne lives to play
music.
Yeah, I don't care if he'ssitting down, His voice is
insane.
Speaker 1 (55:00):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
Like say what you want about that guy.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
He's changed the genre, he's still rock.
Speaker 2 (55:11):
Dude, that's one guy that I just you know.
I've been to so many concertsI've never seen Ozzy.
That's the one that I'm dyingto see yeah.
And oh man, he's just electric.
Or Black Sabbath, yeah, fuckLed Zeppelin.
Okay, Dude, everyone's alive inLed Zeppelin.
Speaker 3 (55:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:24):
Except for John Bonham.
So their drummer died right Hisson Jason Bonham, right his son
jason bottom.
They did a tribute show in 2007, so robert plant, jimmy page
and john paul jones are alive.
Speaker 3 (55:38):
They had um john bottom do the drums, yeah pink
floyd david billmore and rogerwaters, both alive van halen.
Speaker 2 (55:45):
Oh yeah, the beatles which I know, I know, know, but
Ringo and Ringo and Paul.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Yeah, that would be tough.
The Beatles would be tough.
Speaker 2 (55:55):
I know it wouldn't be the same, it's not the same
without John Lennon, and it'snot the same yeah.
It would just, it just wouldn't, it wouldn't be the same, but I
think it'd be super fuckingcool.
Speaker 1 (56:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
But yeah, you need George Harrison there and you
also need john lennon.
I mean, they're just incredible.
But so number three, boldprediction, all right, this is
where it gets a little funny.
But I think electric cars takean even bigger shit on the
market, putting a lot of themain ones out of business, and I
think that people will storethem in the old kmart
blockbuster bed, bath and beyondsears and jc penny lots and it
will turn into a bad decisionmuseum, right Like where parents
can use that to show their kidslike, hey, don't get cocky, all
(56:39):
right, see all those cars there.
At one point people thoughtthose were going to sell
everywhere.
You see that fucking storeright there.
Yeah, it's called Blockbuster.
Yeah, used to sell stock fortons of money.
Yeah, can't find one anymore.
That's awesome.
That's awesome and I thinkthey're going to take a huge dip
in the market.
(56:59):
So like 20.
So just to put it inperspective for you 2019
electric car sales 17.8 billionyep 2020 17.7, 2021 25 billion,
2022 40 billion, 2023 67 billionand 2024 59.8 billion.
So it's going down.
Yep, I guess where they'regoing bad bath and beyond it's
(57:23):
about time we figure it out whatthat beyond section is all
right, yeah, beyond, beyond baddecisions a bunch of cars
blinking, pissed off, like youknow, you know, oh my God.
So I have another predictionthat was kind of similar to
yours, which I kind of enjoyed.
So I think that in 2025, theRout and Loudy podcast will gain
(57:45):
a lot of traction and becomepart-time work for us in 20,
2026 or it's actually somethinga little more professional what
do you mean?
We're not professional I'm notsaying that we gotta go get
suits right, dude.
Funny, funny fact about me a lotof people know this dude, and
(58:06):
so I don't wear suits a lot, asyou know, right, yeah, but I've
had to, and just like everyoneelse has had to.
Every time I put a suit onbuddy, I want to go fire someone
in a random business like justrandom, like I want to go like
three.
Walk up to terry dude, you'refired I want to go to fucking
someone at speedway.
You know?
It's like hey, janice, I'm justletting you know we're done
here.
It's like what, what's going on?
Um, yeah, i'm'm Bill fromcorporate.
(58:30):
Like what I responded mymanager's George, like I'm
George's boss.
No, George's boss is Steve,Like I'm Steve's boss too, Right
?
Speaker 1 (58:38):
You know, Just like walk in there, like you're
fucking done, get your shit, youknow.
Speaker 3 (58:42):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
I could never do that , though, because I have a huge
heart.
No, somebody.
But like every time I put asuit on, I just want to go make
a funny fucking punked video.
You know, like janice, you'refired.
Am I really?
No, no, not at all.
Wow, yeah, I think by 2026, Ithink okay.
So I think by 2025 we're gonnahave more subscribers, more
(59:04):
listens, yeah, but I think by2026 it's gonna be partially our
job okay, part-time work yeahand that's not me being cocky,
that's just me.
I fucking believe in us, dude,and yeah, and that's what it is
like it's just like dude we'retwo fucking dumb asses right, we
don't even know how this shitworks, we're just like we're
(59:25):
just fucking doing it we're justyelling into microphones.
Speaker 1 (59:29):
So you know what, dude, I'm having fucking a riot
yeah, and honestly, that's whatit's all about.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
Only goal with this is just making other people
laugh and have a good day, likeif you're having a shitty
fucking day.
Yeah turn this on and tell meyou don't laugh.
Speaker 1 (59:41):
If you don't laugh, dude fuck you, karen, I'll buy,
yeah, I'll buy you some tacobell and we'll go talk about why
.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
Pc is not the coolest way to be, you know, like Like
an adult, like a Christmas carolor whatever, taking a reality.
You see, these people, they'renot having as much fun as Brad
and Schwab are.
Right, yeah, I can guarantee it.
Yeah, all right, number five.
So I think that the OnlyFansplatform in 2025 will crash
(01:00:09):
because people will figure outthat porn is also on the
internet.
Oh my god, there's a freeversion.
Cool, I don't have to payMiranda $24 every month to see
her titties.
Oh my god dude Right Freeversion.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Dude, to put it in perspective for you, though
OnlyFans.
Last year 60 billion dollars ohmy god, really 60 billion
dollars for the kicker, the nba57 billion wow, really yeah,
they outdid the nba last year.
They didn't shake a stick atthe nfl yeah, yeah, wow, but
(01:00:50):
yeah, no, shit, that's so.
So what you're saying is, weshould have our only fans page,
is there?
Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
yeah, right we already do.
We've got one subscriber andour fucking poor awesome friend
chris would be so confused whenwe use this profile picture,
right?
But it's about you, buddy.
Oh my God, did you have any?
That didn't make your list.
Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Oh, predictions, let me look back.
Yeah, one was air taxis.
Air taxis Well, like drones,Like a tram car, but a taxi Well
no, like a drone, like they'restarting to deliver packages and
shit like that with drones.
Just having a drone taxi, likea flying car, dude, that would
(01:01:38):
be sick.
It would be, you know, it wouldbe so sick.
Let's see, the war in Ukrainewill magically just end.
Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Without any statement , it'll just kind of just stop.
Speaker 3 (01:01:52):
It'll just go away.
Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
That'd be sweet and I think that's it.
That's all I had for otherpredictions for this year.
Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
I had some crazy ones , dude.
I always go with like 10.
It's insane.
I'm like sitting there crossingthem off.
You know Diddy's list will haveover 300 names on it that
Kyle's coming up right I thinksome of them are gonna suck dude
.
Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Oh yeah, you know like.
Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
I think a lot of our athletes that like we really
like are gonna be on there yeah,it's unfortunate, but I think
someone will date an ai robot.
Like fucking date an ai robotand like go public about it.
Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Oh yeah, like, like walking around meyer dude, like
well, I mean that goes alongwith my 3d pen.
Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
They're gonna be fully customizable oh my god,
you know armies dude yeah wholefleets.
You're not gonna get dude.
What if doordash went withrobots?
So doordash is now deliveringfast food, which is already like
the laziest fucking thing youcould have delivered.
Right, right, it's fast food.
(01:02:54):
It's called fast food becauseit's quick for you.
Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
And now you're getting it delivered Like it's
already.
A lazy fucking system.
Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
Sorry, if you guys like DoorDash, I do too.
Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
But like it's just like when you're at home and you
just don't want to leave yeah,I mean, I guess you know, but
it's the same thing.
I mean, we've had deliverypizzas for how long?
I mean, we use.
We both used to be those, thoseguys, oh dude I would deliver
pizzas and like smoke a dube.
Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
Take my time coming back, dude.
Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
It's like when you think about I mean I'm sure
there's people that use itbecause they're just lazy and
don't want to do it.
But then there's you gotfamilies that, yeah, you know
there's.
Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
There's different reasons but nothing like driving
through a snowstorm to givesomeone else a pizza like right
like what a weird, what a weirdframe of mind.
Right, like, hey, you know what, I'm gonna take my car out here
, I'm gonna drive through thisblizzard and I hope that daryl's
happy right yeah, so a coupleother ones.
Only fans university.
I.
I think that, like aprestigious college, will
develop a new program called uh,digital entrepreneurship.
(01:04:05):
But it's all about only fans inthe success stories.
Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Dude right like strip club nfts like the best dude,
only fans.
Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Entrepreneurship yeah , dude ofe baby, you know what I
mean.
Like, do you know what an nftis?
So, like you're buying like apiece of media.
Yep, what strippers had nftsdude for their best move.
Like dude, like you know like.
Like, watch this.
They call this the ping pongball trick.
Like what's the ping pong balltrick?
(01:04:35):
Well, in order to see it, you'dhave to buy my NFT.
Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
Oh shit.
Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
Kanye West will become a life coach, I think
Taco Bell will get recognized asa healthy meal option, and I
think that all movie theaters inthe continental United States
will turn into laser tag arenas.
Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
Oh, dude, dude, that would be awesome, yeah, or
paintball.
Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Paintball Both.
Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
You know what I mean yeah, but man, I kind of liked
this episode too, Like we kindof had a different approach but
like with the predictions andstuff.
But it gives us something tolook back on.
Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Yeah.
So we need to know from ourlisteners and our one subscriber
, chris, what do you like aboutthe content.
Do you like it?
Are we just two crazy fuckingnut jobs that just need to not
quit our day jobs?
Yeah, like this is never goingto be part-time work.
Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
Yeah right, I know what number on Eric's list isn't
fucking coming true, you knowbut, yeah, let us know comments.
Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
Uh, yeah, give us some feedback.
We'd love that.
We'd love to uh to interactwith, with anybody out there
that's listening and uh, you gotany suggestions for better
episodes?
Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
top fives that you want to see or predictions for
the year.
Predictions for the year yeahshoot them over to us.
We're all about interacting withyou guys, yeah we actually um,
just for a second, we actuallyopened up a direct line of
communication for you guys.
So, um, uh, just like the title, but it's spelled out.
So route and loudy at gmailcom.
If you send us a message there,it comes right to us yeah and
(01:06:10):
we will absolutely respond soabsolutely don't feel like you
have to.
If you just want to listen,that's fine too yeah, that's
cool.
Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Yeah, give us a like, give us a subscribe.
Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
Whatever you know, you do it, you do the thing you
know, we'll give you a shout outdude, you can become a legend,
like you can be you can be, uh,you can be number two, number
three you know all the way up to100.
Dude, if I was listening rightnow, I'd be like I am waiting
until 69.
I want to be number 69.
I want to be subscriber 69.
Speaker 1 (01:06:37):
Well, yeah but we can't tell them that, dude,
we'll never get it.
Everybody will wait until 69.
Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
There's always a 169 and 269 and 369.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got thisshit.
Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
All right.
Well, hey, everybody, thanksfor listening.
We will catch you on the nextepisode.
Have a great night, a great day, whatever time you're listening
.
Yep, thanks for listening and Iappreciate you.
Love you guys.
Peace out Peace.
Welcome back to the Roud and Loudy podcast.
This is episode three and we'vegot a pretty good show for you
tonight.
We are going to go over somewinter stories, some good, bad
fails.
You know, you name it.
We're going to throw it outthere.
We have the top five from ourprevious episode, episode two,
(00:44):
that we kind of combined andwe're going to go over that.
Eric's going to share that withyou.
And then uh yeah we have somepredictions for 2025 that, uh, I
think are going to be prettycool, pretty funny.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I did too.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We'll see, we'll see, and then so this dropped
yesterday and I didn't tell Ericabout it.
Maybe I did, but we actuallyhave one subscriber.
Holy shit we have onesubscriber and Chris, if you
know who you are, buddy, thankyou.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Dude Fall Out Boy has a song that's like Dear Chris,
you were our only friend and Iknow this is belated, but we
love you back.
Right, dude, our first fan, ourfirst well so would this be
only fans like the only right,because we only have one fan
like I'm not trying to be thatdude, right, maybe, maybe dude
(01:41):
we need to host a banquet in hishonor, if we ever make it.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Oh yeah, Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You're the first one, dude.
Mad props, chris.
All right, I don't even know ifI know you, but I feel like I
do.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
You don't, you don't, but he's a great, great guy.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Dude, that's good news.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yeah, dude grew up to 28.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Subscribers are kind of moving up in the world.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
if you ask me, you know we got one.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
So am I allowed to tell my wife I have an OnlyFans
account.
I'm on OnlyFans, are you?
No, we only have one fan, it'sironic to me.
I just thought I'd say it likethat, Right Funny thing is, if I
said that to my wife shewouldn't be fucking shocked at
all.
I say the craziest shit to herwith a straight face.
And that's why we work so well.
She's my fucking world.
(02:30):
We rock Absolutely, just likeChris.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
God.
So, anyway, in a previousepisode we did a top five worst
New Year's resolutions.
So, in short, your buddy comesup to you, he's all geek, got a
smile on his face and he's likehey, what's up, sean?
Hey, how are you?
Dude, this year I'm going toblink and that stupidest fucking
thing you've ever heard.
That's what we're after, right?
(03:00):
So if you want to listen to theprevious top five, brad did one
, I did one, and kind of thepremise with it is we don't
share it with each other.
So this episode I have a brandnew top five and I'm really
excited to share it with him.
I'm excited to hear it, man.
So, yeah, once again, go aheadand listen on Apple Spotify,
iheart, however you listen.
(03:20):
So here's our recap of the topfive worst new year's
resolutions from episode two.
All right, number five.
So these are in descendingorder.
Uh, the last one I go with isthe best um number five drinking
only miralax for a year, mrbrad, I can you imagine that
(03:40):
like?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
just how would you play around the golf?
You wouldn't, okay, I?
I have a story that we caninterject here.
So my brother-in-law yeah, andjoe, you know who you are he had
an incident at the golf courseso quotations so he goes back to
(04:04):
that golf course, right, Ithink like five years later
there is still a towel in thetree that he used to clean
himself.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Does it?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
have strings.
I'm sure it hasn't moved infive years, so I'm sure that
nobody is no dude.
If there's a towel in the tree,nobody's going to touch that
right.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
What color was the towel?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I think it was white, probably.
Oh God, yeah, yeah, that's nota flag.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That anyone should fly Like the maintenance guy is
driven by that every day.
And, by the way, oh, weird shitstain on that Either Bigfoot's
real or I got to clean this shit.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
That's a bad day.
That's a bad day to mingle Oneof these two things have to
happen.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Number four, trying every drug A to Z throughout the
year.
So I actually listed all ofthem and some of them are wild,
Like some area 51 cocktails thatwe came up with GHB, some,
whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
US 47.
I don't know, it was wild.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I don't remember what it was.
You have to listen to find outyeah, insane.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I want number three.
I want to be so good at smokingpot that I become a marijuana
success story, the white snoopdog of smoking.
Can you imagine if someone hadthat title?
They'd have clout everywhere,like that, that would be the
dude that can walk in anywhereand it's just like what up
schwab.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Like I want that I want that anywhere I go, it's
just instant.
Well, you knowab like I wantthat I want that anywhere I go
it's just instant.
Well, you know what?
I tell you what?
If you don't make it as that,maybe you can be like the round
and louty guy, you know yeah, ohmy god, it's the right one.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Again I heard he's got one subscriber.
Oh my god.
Number two I want 2025 to bethe year I finally get my taint
waxed, and then we kind of splitoff from that and like tell it
everybody, like can you imaginethat?
(05:55):
Like Walmart, hey, how youdoing today?
Yeah, not bad.
Got my taint waxed and juststraight face it, dude, just
everywhere you go.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I got my asshole bleached today.
This morning.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
It was great.
Welcome to mcdonald's.
Are you gonna be using the appwith your order today?
Go ahead when you're ready.
Yeah, uh, real quick.
Before I proceed, I just wantto let everybody in your kitchen
know I bleached my assholeyesterday.
But I'd also like a mcdouble.
You know Like a McDouble.
You know It'd be so perfect, ohshit.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
And number one.
This one had me rolling dude.
I fucking was crying over here.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
And the best part about this is with these top
fives is that I usually startwith the one that I think has
the least amount of bang.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
This was number one.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yeah, yeah, this killed me.
And maybe this shows me I needto switch the tone a little bit.
I need to go bang bang, boogieand bang bang boogie, you know
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So, number one I want to put a mirror above my head
in bed so I can startappreciating my own handiwork.
We're talking about how, likewe watch our kids do sports, but
we don't ever appreciate ourown work.
Right, you know, we watch allthese different things, but Ah
dude, I listened to that episodeagain.
I did too.
Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Dude, I was crying.
I saw stars, I was laughing sodamn hard yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It was just fantastic .
That's what's so cool aboutthis podcast, brad, is that we
get to look back on this, youknow, yeah, to look back on this
.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
You know, and yeah, hell dude, maybe this time next
year we'll have four subscribers.
I have a prediction for that.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, and I can tell my wife we have a fourly friend.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I don't know, I can't fourly friends, oh my god, oh
shit.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
So anyway, with, with , uh, with our previous top
fives, if you ever want tolisten to those, did I already
do that?
I don't know, it doesn't matter.
Say it again Apple Spotify,wherever you're listening now.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And now we're going to get into our new episode,
which I'm really excited to talkabout and if you haven't
subscribed which we know youhaven't, except Chris, Chris.
Go ahead and hit that subscribebutton, maybe we'll have four
five.
I Go ahead and hit thatsubscribe button, you know,
maybe we'll have four five, Idon't know We'll have a
prediction on that Dude.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
We're small enough right now that we could shout
out all of them until we get,like you know, like what up,
melinda, what up Susan, kitty,cat girl nine.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
How you?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
doing.
So do you got any funny winterstories for you?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I do.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I have a couple tonight and to set the tone a
little bit.
We are in the Midwest, so partof this podcast is we are in
Michigan, so we deal with a lotof snow.
We're not in the UP so we don'tget dumped on like crazy, but
right now there's snow all overthe roads and I really feel the
effects of it.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I drive 45 minutes to work every day.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
I drive close to an hour so and I have to go back
roads.
Yep, yeah, it sucks, dude I go.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I go back roads because, well, I don't know, you
run into the people that thatdrive like 10 with their
flashers on.
Yeah, like get the hell out ofthe way.
Okay, everybody out therethat's listening.
If you're one of those people,just get off the road for a
minute, just stop.
If you have 40 cars behind you,just move over for a minute and
just let some people go.
(09:09):
I get it.
You're scared or whatever.
You know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Stop being a dick.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, Dude.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I always get stuck behind buses and I get stuck
behind like semis heading toAllegan?
Why the fuck is a semi headingto Allegan?
It's like what the hell are youdoing?
There's four businesses here,you know.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Anyway, they're the meth delivery trucks.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Or they're going to pick it up.
I don't know Whichever.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
We're self-taught pharmacists.
We're delivering in order.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
All right.
So my first story.
This is back when I was, uh, Ithink I was around 20, okay, and
, um, I had an 84 grand prix.
It was a big boat, right, ifyou remember those dude.
Those were sweet and uh, so Ihad my starter went out and it's
the middle of winter, okay, andit's cold as shit.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Did it go out on the road?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
No, I was actually.
I was at my apartment where Iwas staying.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Went out in the parking lot, I would go out to
start it up and it doesn't start, right, fuck.
So I go grab a new starter,because I work on my own shit,
because you know, know, I'm justthat guy and I've I raised the
hood and those hoods.
Back then they had springs oneach side, right, they would
hold the hood up for you.
(10:32):
You didn't have to have the,the stupid rod in there that
holds it up, which I understandwhy they do that now.
Okay, so was it the latch?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
but then it went to a spring.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
So you pop the hood and you lift the latch, Yep, and
then there's, it springs up andthere's two springs on each
side of the hood that hold it up.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Weird.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
And it was a giant hood, right, yeah?
So anyway, I pop the hood and Iget down there.
I'm taking the starter off andI'm working on it.
I'm laying in the snow rightUnder starter off and I'm
working on it.
I'm laying in the snow rightunder the car.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Under the car, I've got it jacked up and hoods up
jack hoods up.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I got to jack saying under it and everything you know
so, trying to be safe, and Ihave to shovel snow out of the
way so I can get down in there,because we just got like six or
eight inches of snow and shit isnot going well.
Like I take the starter, I'mtrying to put the new one in,
right?
And there's shims and you gotto get in there and get the
(11:30):
proper fit and all that bullshit.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Pontiac probably wasn't known for their designs,
right yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah.
Which is why they're not here,right.
So, for whatever reason, Ipause Right.
Sometimes you got to walk away,uh-huh.
So for whatever reason, I pauseright.
Sometimes you got to walk away.
So I'm over the hood, I've gotboth hands.
I'm on the driver's side, I'vegot both hands over the fender,
right.
So I'm like I'm pissed and I'mlike I just kind of give the car
(12:02):
a shove down like son of abitch, you know, and the hood
drops and my right no, my leftthumb okay, my left thumb gets
shut between the hood and thefender.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
So if you can imagine .
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I'm on the driver's side right, my left thumb is
there and I'm back towards theback and I can.
I can reach the the side mirrorright.
So there's no fucking way I'mreaching the latch in the front.
There is nobody around.
Oh, it's 10 fucking degreesoutside.
What time of day it's?
(12:39):
Um, we'll say four o'clock Idon't know three o'clock four
o'clock somewhere in there.
So I end up I have to rip mythumb, my thumb out of the
fucking hood where it's shut.
So to this day I still have ascar there.
From where?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I ripped it out I had like skin, like pulled back and
so kind of explain to me howyour your thumb got, but you
couldn't reach the latch.
That's the only thing, if youdon't mind.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
So if you can imagine , I'm on the driver's side right
Yep.
My thumb is between the hoodand the fender.
Yep, I can reach the sidemirror right.
Yep, the latch is all the wayin the front of the car.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Gotcha, I can't fucking reach it Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
So there's no way.
Oh my God, how?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
long did you sit there before you had to?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
make Until I made the decision to rip my thumb out.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Dude.
You had a real life saw moment,right when it's like dude.
What if?
The fucking doll came out ofnowhere.
It was like hey, Brad, how areyou?
Speaker 3 (13:37):
I know you want to start your 84 Pontiac Grand Prix
today.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
It's just not happening.
But you have two choices.
Yeah, so, dude it was.
I was like fuck, what do I do?
I'm like I'm looking around,there's nobody.
I'm I'm calling, I'm likeyelling, there's nobody.
Nobody coming.
I'm like shit, I probably, Idon't know.
Minute, minute and a halfbefore I just decide to okay,
here we go, did the nail justcome right off no, luckily it
didn't.
I think there was enough gap inthere that it just peeled the
skin out right just dude, beforethe next episode we have to
(14:15):
look up what an 84 grand prixhood weighs oh yeah do you know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
yeah, it was.
It was down and latched like Icouldn't pull it out.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I'm trying to pull the the the hood back up.
You know it's latched.
There's no way.
I mean, luckily it was down andlatched, Like I couldn't pull
it out.
I'm trying to pull the hoodback up.
You know, and it's latched.
There's no way.
I mean luckily it didn't closeall the way down, right,
Otherwise it would have probablytaken my thumb off.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
This was not even in the plan tonight.
So since you told that story, Igot one for you.
That's kind of crazy.
So you know, the auto show inDetroit, I got one for you.
That's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
So you know the auto show in Detroit, yeah, Like
every year.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
It's like the big one in America.
So there's the like SEMA orFEMA in Las Vegas.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Did you say semen, sema or FEMA?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Oh, sema it's one of those two, but it's like a huge
like.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Isn't FEMA the ones that are out of money?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, they're not doing well, yeah, I don't know
that I'd go to the car show.
You know, um, so the big one indetroit it's at like coble hall
.
So me, so my dad and brotherwere really really big into cars
growing up.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Like it was a big, big deal to them, like, like,
they liked like the ferraris andthe oh yeah the amberginis just
really cool designs and yeah, Iremember having those posters
on my wall yeah, like my dadalways read like road and track
and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Like I was a huge sports kid so it wasn't really
my thing, but like I was justgeeked to spend the day with
them, right.
So my dad had like a I don'tknow 1999 Honda Accord, like the
white one that has two doorsOkay, fantastic, with the weird
little triangle lights in theback right.
Yep, so we get out of cobalthalls.
(15:47):
We drove from kalamazoo two anda half hours.
We get out.
Obviously, all of us are readyto get the fuck out of the car,
just like you do oh yeah I'vethat far.
We get out of the car and weopen the trunk.
We got like snacks and you know, a cooler back there, whatever.
I'm rummaging through it whilemy brother was at the trunk
before me and he was done.
So, just like, it's like thatknee jerk reaction, right Like.
(16:11):
Like it's like when your wife'sshowering or something you got
to pee and she's like don'tflush, you know Like, and as
soon as you're done, it's likewhat you always do, right, right
.
So my brother shuts the trunk,dude, oh, no shit.
My brother catches my middlefinger dude, oddly enough in the
trunk dude and I'm like 10years old no, like shit dude, it
was caught, completely caughtin the trunk like like no wiggle
(16:35):
, like like it's not coming outof there, like do you got wd-40
or?
You know yeah so my dad is in apanic and like I can't even
imagine being in that situationnow, like with my daughter or my
son.
Like I love them so much that,like, if something were to
happen like that, I'd lose it.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Dude, my, my finger must've been in there.
I mean it felt like fiveminutes, but I'll bet it was 30
seconds and it was awful.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Get out my.
My whole nail is just full ofblood.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Like to just full of blood, oh yeah, like to the
point that it's poking out thetop, like that was so much pain,
man, yeah and then to have towalk around a car show, yeah,
for like six hours, and you knowand your fingers just throbbing
yeah, and the two people thatyou look up to the most.
They're geeked to be there andyou want them.
You want them to have fun,right.
So like you can't even complain, but you're not even old enough
to understand pain and you justwent through that Like it was
(17:28):
such a weird day, dude.
I have a picture of me Like Istill remember it because I'm
wearing like a Michael Jordanjersey.
Oh yeah, I'm giving a thumbs upand if you look in the picture
like I, have my thumb cocked alittle bit.
And like it, it looks like areally gangster person is really
trying to make an impact withtheir middle finger the thumb
out.
I don't know if that makes adifference, but yeah, it's just
(17:52):
my nails full of blood, oh shit.
Anyway, oh damn so that wasn'teven my winter story.
I'm so sorry if we go over.
That's all right, I mean, youdon't get your fingers caught in
trunks like that doesn't happen, right?
We're Eskimo trunk brothersdude.
Oh my God, it's like one in thefront, one in the back Paniac,
honda, dude.
(18:13):
Yeah, I've been there, you know.
So I got a really, really,really funny winter story for
you.
So I'm going to take you backto the college years.
All right, so 2010.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Okay, and I went, so I'm going to take you back to
the college years.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
So, all right, 2010, okay, and I went to what I went
to western michigan university,so that's right.
In kalamazoo, yep and uh, thegolden years of learning,
personal growth personal growthlife lessons that no textbook
could teach you oh, yeah, youknow my third year was kind of a
high a highlight reel of, ifyou ask me, thank you to the
(18:49):
kind folks at bronco apartments.
So first year I lived on thedorms it was wild, I mean you
have a, you have a roommate, youhave a room that's, you know,
no bigger than a utility closet,and don't you?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
have to stay on the dorms.
Yeah, it's kind of it seemslike it's just a money grab, but
in the in the end it is kind ofcool because you get to stay on
the dorms.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yeah, it's so weird.
It seems like it's just a moneygrab, but in the end it is kind
of cool because you get tolearn campus and you get a lot
of your friends that way.
So a lot of my homies were thepeople on my floor that we would
just do crazy shit.
We could do a whole episode onthat dude.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
We used to have jungle juice parties.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
We may do that someday.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, jungle juice parties, all sorts of crazy
shits Like filling up bathtubswith liquor and inviting 30
people to a closet to get allfucked up, did it?
You know?
Yeah, so, anyway, broncoApartments.
So this is my third year ofcollege, right?
Yeah, so these beauties werethe equivalent of a dive bar,
(19:43):
the apartment.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Okay, like if an apartment was a dive bar.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Okay, that's where I stayed, okay gritty,
questionable, but somehowcharming, you know, yes, yep, so
only a only a broke college kidwould really appreciate that
too.
Right, like you, like like myparents pulled up to like help
me move in.
They're like you gotta befucking kidding me like this
looks like shit.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Dude, are you fucking serious right now and you're
like this is got to be?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
fucking kidding me.
Like this looks like shit, dude, Are you fucking serious right
now and you're like this isgreat, Like, dude, it's a
perfect two bedroom fucking bath.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Like dude, I used to live in a utility closet.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
This is an upgrade.
So the deal that they wererunning which is really weird is
rent and internet was reallywhat we had to cover.
So we thought so water trashutility is recovered by them.
Plus, it was really weird butyou got a 40 gift card to get
like cottage in, like a pizzaplace, like every other week or
(20:33):
something.
Okay, so like that's probablywhat draw drew us in, which is
so stupid right like yeah, but Imean when you're a college kid.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
I mean pizza is what you live on it's so true, but I
want pizza and ramen noodlesdude ramen noodle pizza needs to
be created.
No, no, nobody needs to createa ramen pizza.
Yeah, no so long story short.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I I had a really awesome roommate growing up.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
His name's jacko I mean just, you've met jack with
the barbara bash.
Just a fucking great guy rightflew from fucking arizona yeah
to be there at the party.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Just a fucking great guy Right Flew from fucking
Arizona.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah, to be there at the party.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
What a fucking dude Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Well, he's been one of my best friends my whole
fucking life.
I lived with him in college, sowe got duped, right.
So we go to this apartmentcomplex.
You know, they got the freepizza coupons, dude.
Of course we're signing up forthat shit, right?
So it's probably December, it'sclose to Christmas, it's winter
break for college, so it's gotto be like mid-December, you
(21:32):
know, probably sometime betweenDecember 15 and 25, 2010.
We walk into our apartment andlights are on in the hallway.
And lights are on when you walkup the staircase, not when you
open our door.
Lights are off.
Okay, we're.
We're like six months into this.
Okay, yeah, lights are off.
(21:52):
It is so fucking cold in there.
You can see your breath oh yeahlike I wasn't worried about any
of our fridge items or freezeritems, like they're totally fine
, right, right.
So we freaked the fuck out,naturally.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Like we got our power shut off, dude.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
So here we are thinking oh my God, we get pizza
coupons and they pay ourutilities, and they pay this,
whatever right.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Shadiest place in the world dude.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
No shit If.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Denny's had like an office where, like, like the
managers all worked.
It would look like this do youknow what I mean?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
like, if like, all the dandies employees like had
their own office like this iswhat it would look like, right?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
so we called the electric company, just pissed
off, and we're like we this hasto be a mistake, right?
Yeah, the deal is you guyscover utilities, you guys cover
water, you guys cover trash.
We cover the rest so we had topay our internet and our rent,
yep, so we thought it was a hugemistake and it was not in the
(22:54):
way that we know shit at all.
So they said you owe usthirteen hundred dollars.
We called up and we're like it'sright around christmas time,
like you gotta be fuckingkidding me, right?
She then tells me that ithasn't been paid in 14 months.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
No, shit we've been there six, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
And honestly if I'm being completely brutally honest
right now I never in a millionyears thought that that's how
like electrical worked in anapartment.
I thought it was either on allor nothing like right like like
you either, have all the lightson or you don't.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Right.
Well, you didn't have any.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Do you get?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
what I'm saying though.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Like the other, the other tenants had their lights
on.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I thought it would either be like the apartment
lost it Yep, I didn't know itwas individualized either.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Like it was weird for me, me, okay.
So they tell us, 14 months,1300 bucks.
Me and jack were like what thefuck?
Dude, fuck these people, fucktheir pizza coupons, dude, you
guys fucking suck.
So we go in the office, rightyeah, and they tell us flat out
like if you want your heatturned back on, it's 1300 and
from that day we'll be there ina week oh, my god like like like
, talk about shitting on an arty, shitty situation.
(24:09):
Okay, it's like hey, if youscrap up money for, uh, that
guy's rent that was here beforeyou, you know the guy you've
never met before and owe nothingto um.
Also, it'll take a week becauseof your goodwill, fuck you wow
so in a confused panic westormed the apartment office
right like we walk in there.
We're hot oh yeah likeabsolutely, you know what I mean
(24:30):
.
Like like mom just found weedin the fucking in the phone in
your in your room during your 14.
Like you hear that, like we'refucking done here, you know so
we thought you covered this.
You know we want we walk inthis lady and she's just dude,
yeah she she doesn't give a fuck.
No, she's smoking a cigarette inher office.
(24:51):
Okay, fucking shit everywhere,dude looks like a hoarder house,
like they could have done adocumentary on cleaning her
fucking office, right.
So she's looking at us, shekind of like.
She's just kind of like nope,we cover trash water, you cover
internet utilities and rent.
And then me and jacko had thatlight bulb click and it's like
we've never gotten a fuckingbill.
(25:12):
We've never gotten a consumer'sbill yep, right, yeah.
And want to know why I didn'tlook for one, because I didn't
think I had to fucking pay it.
I could have sworn.
That lady told me that's how itworked, right.
So she literally looks at meand janko, like when we have the
slide balls, like okay, so ifwe're supposed to pay this, then
where's our fucking bill?
(25:32):
Why have we not gotten a bill?
yeah she looks at points andgoes could be in the stack over
there.
There is a stack of mail, buddy, that is okay, you never
fucking checked the mail.
Okay, like eight foot highceilings tables, maybe four,
this stacks five deep.
All of it's touching thefucking ceiling, buddy wow me
(25:55):
and jacko, are going throughthis mail and just fucking
scowling at this lady.
Just what the fuck?
Where's the fuck?
We're like looking for ourapartment number and other names
that we don't even know exist.
Yeah, you know, frustratingthat shit is oh my god and, like
me and jacko, both have anxiety.
We're both, we both made it.
But like god damn, like talkabout putting someone in a
(26:18):
pressure situation, so she knewthat there was a stack of
fucking mail piling up anddidn't say anything.
Dude yeah, what the fuck.
So yeah, so we look through 2000 pieces of mail, like indiana
jones looking for a fuckingartifact from tenants, some dude
.
Some of this mail was datedseven years ago.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Oh, okay, so 2010.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Some of this mail was like almost y2k era oh shit yes
, wow so that's fucked up I juststay at my parents and here's,
here's the twist.
That's kind of hilarious, okay,so just like a dorm we had.
Uh, so in the dorm you share abathroom with another, but like
your rooms are connected by thebathroom right so same thing
(27:02):
with this apartment, but weshared a deck.
Okay, so same thing we didn'thave to shit in the same place,
which is really neat yeah youknow.
But we could go uh, smoke a duveon the porch right marshall
mark, great fucking guys.
So we go over there to theirapartment, which also doesn't
have power.
Okay, also happened to them,okay oh shit they're just like
(27:25):
back then they were true bluestoners, just didn't give a fuck
right like so they weren'tgonna go down there and cause a
ruckus, like me and jacko were.
They were gonna let me andjacko go cause the ruckus.
Oh, yeah and figure out what thefuck's going on through us,
right so this is the kicker dude, I stayed at my parents for
like five days and, dude, that'sweird, like when you're like 20
or whatever, and you, you havethat independence and then you
(27:46):
have to come back yeah awful,yeah right it was just weird.
Not that I don't love them.
They're the.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
They're the shit, dude yeah, no, everybody gets
that.
Yeah, if you're out and youhave freedom, you don't want to
go back I come back five dayslater to the apartment to get
clothes.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Like dude, it is freezing.
So, like the first time youcould see our breath.
Yeah, this time, like when Iwalk in dude, nipples are hard
Like it's fucking brutal.
Yeah, I walked in there with acoat on, like a hat.
You know I'm not a scarf guy.
I don't even want to lie aboutit, but, like you know, I was
bundled up and five days laterwalk on my deck.
(28:24):
I realize that marshall andmark have been there the whole
fucking time.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Oh shit, how the fuck are they surviving?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
they got like their parents, live in town too that's
the best part dude theirparents live 15 minutes away,
just like mine.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Do right dude, they got like a little uh pit, like a
burn pile or something likethat, out there on the deck
Sleeping bags, a tent indoors.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
dude A buddy heater.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Lamps and, like Coleman fucking lamps everywhere
.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Illuminating the sky, dude.
Apparently they were doingtheir own fucking survival show.
Extreme apartment livingfrostbite edition Five days.
I still, to this day, have somuch respect for them oh, yeah,
yeah and those are dudes Ihaven't talked to in a while but
honestly I love them to death,man and dude like.
I tell that story all the timebecause it blows my mind and
(29:17):
maybe they did go home, but Idon't want to believe it that
way right like sorry yeah dude,you want to hold up a hot dog.
I'm outside like smoking acigarette.
One of them holds up a hot dog.
I'm outside smoking a cigarette.
One of them holds up a hot doglike Schwab, you want a hot dog.
And it's just like dude,they're nestled in.
This is like a whole new springbreak for them.
They've been smoking weed,They've been eating hot dogs,
they have camping equipment.
Dude, they didn't have to pay afee.
(29:38):
They definitely didn't have topay for the power.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
oh my, probably not even paying rent at that point
they're the true champions,right like bronco apartments
taught me a lot.
Okay, they taught me always askwho's paying the utilities.
I think that's a key questionnow, you know like you know,
when you start dating someone,you move in like, hey, you got
this, or do I?
probably should ask that, yeah,just throw it out there and
never underestimate theresilience of college students
(30:04):
armed with a grill and amotherfucking dream.
You know what I mean, likethat's.
But here we are, like stayingwith mom and dad hating it.
Dude, come back five days later.
Haven't talked to them, they'rejust nestled in and having a
blast.
No shit, yeah.
Playing cards, dude with awhole, like like camp, like a
(30:25):
camp like.
They could have started theirown for survivorship, like a
lantern that you like put theoil in.
You know, like, like that kindof shit.
They're eagle scouts, so like,they're very, like, very
resourceful dudes, oh yeah nice,awesome.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's a great story, mybest buddies, that's a great
story.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
And the best thing about all these stories too,
everybody they're true yeahevery single one of these.
You can call my friend jackoright now.
Be like tell me about the timethat your power got shut off.
You look, oh, my fucking god,you know, oh yeah, hey, jacko,
you know hey tell us about thetime that the cops knocked on
the door?
And eric was smoking down theapartment, blurring records, at
3 am on cinco de mayo, on athursday oh yeah, I still got
(31:05):
the scar on my thumb.
Dude, dude my middle finger likeit's still like it's still yeah
, I can show it to you now, youknow all right, so I got a
second story all right.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
So this is when I was 14, okay, okay, and it was
wintertime obviously, and whereI lived, we had a gravel pit
that was it was called.
It was wintertime obviously,and where I lived we had a
gravel pit that was on Big HillRoad, right.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Was there a big hill on the road?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Yeah, there was actually.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Fuck yeah dude.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
So I actually went on maps and got the distance from
my house to the gravel pit right, because when we were there
there was five of us.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
What town is this?
Speaker 1 (31:54):
This is Sturgis.
Grew up in Sturgis, Dude hotnow.
Oh yeah, they're the last one.
I wanted to go there the otherday, they were closed.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Try the ranch.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Are you a ranch guy?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Dude, I haven't been there in years.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Next time you're there, trust me, okay, order
your three burgers for six bucks, right.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
Order your fries yeah .
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Ask them for a side ranch.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
They make it in-house and it is to die for dude.
All right, I'll check it out.
Continue the big river, the bighill story.
Yeah, the big hill story.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Yeah, the big hill story.
So it was 0.7 miles from myhouse to the gravel pit right.
Yep, I believe there was fourof us, four of us guys.
There was me, john Corey andGreg how old were you guys.
Everybody was around 14.
I was 14.
(32:45):
A couple of guys were probably15.
I'm not sure we were all aboutthat age.
Yep, and so we took our sledsthere, right, because it's
wintertime and there's a greatbig fucking gravel pit, there's
a big hill right, yeah.
We're going fucking Mach 2 downthe hill, right, yep.
Well, we're all there and, forwhatever reason, we find this
great big plastic sheet and it'sreally thick.
(33:08):
It's probably a half inch thickplastic.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Like at the top of the hill.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, we just found it somewhere in the gravel pit
and we're like fucking A, thisis plastic, this should go right
.
So we all get on this sheet ofplastic, which is probably like
a four by eight sheet of plastic, and we all get on and we're
like, pull up the front like youwould a toboggan, you know, and
like home alone.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
We're just going down the stairs, yeah okay, dude, we
fucking flew.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I mean, we were fucking moving.
Well, what we didn't realizewas because our sleds weren't
that fast and obviously you haveall this weight right behind
you.
Yeah, so you're gonna get somemore velocity and some distance.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
And what we didn't realize, was there a great big
pile of tires in the middle ofthe gravel pit?
Was it snow covered?
Yeah, you couldn't see.
Okay, we hit that fucking pileof tires and we fucking launched
.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
We're jumping this Holy shit.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Dude, we had to launch like 10, 15 feet.
Oh my God, dude, we had tolaunch like 10 15 feet.
So we're like we fucking getdown we're all scattered right,
we all fucking look at eachother like fucking hey that was
awesome.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Let's do it again.
Oh my god, oh my god, right,only a 14, 15 year old, right so
we get up, we're going.
I don't know, we went probablythree or four times right how
big is this drop like, if youdon't mind painting the picture
like from like.
Okay, so you're the top, I'mthinking ground.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
I'm thinking it's probably.
I mean, I was 14 right, so hugethough yeah, I'm.
I'm thinking it was probably 30to 40 feet okay, so that's a
big from the top where westarted to the bottom.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Four people on the same sheet.
Yeah, of plastic plastic, justflat.
Of plastic Plastic, just flatplastic dude.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
So we get down on like the third or fourth trip
down.
I'm in the front and we go down.
We hit the pile of tires, justlike we've done several times
already.
We come down and every fuckingone of those guys land on me
Right and my fucking leg isunderneath and my leg breaks
(35:05):
Like my foot.
The top of my foot fuckingbreaks.
Oh no, I'm in fucking agonizingpain.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
So when you hit the tires, they all hit you.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
No, we jumped the tires and everybody, all the
guys, landed on me.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Okay, so everyone got airborne from the tires.
Yeah, oh yeah, they're airborne, they're coming down.
You landed first, being infront.
Yep.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Everybody's fucking pile driving me.
Oh God, so I'm fucking layingthere, I'm not moving.
All those fucking guys get upand go again.
They just fucking leave methere.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding they justkept riding, oh yeah, and they
come down, and they damn nearland on me again Every time.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Do they know your foot's broken?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
No, I don't know it's broken Right, it's broken.
No, I don't know it's brokenRight.
True, I'm just, I'm fucking inpain.
So they come down again andthey, they finally ask like dude
, are you okay?
I'm like no, not fucking Okay,Do you?
I'd be up fucking moving withyou and you know like do you
think I'm sunbathing in this?
Speaker 2 (36:01):
This is what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
So these guys realize you know like something's wrong
.
So basically that's the end ofour sledding time, right?
So there's the one guy, Greg,like he leaves, he goes and we
walk down there, right we don'thave a car, we have no vehicle.
We walk down there with oursleds.
So, john and Corey, I get in asled and they're pulling me back
(36:26):
to the house Up the hill.
Up we got to go up the gravelpit and then they're like
through the woods and there'slike other hills and shit that
they got.
I think at one time I got offthe sled so that they could like
have a break and I like crawleda little ways, but yeah, they
pulled me 0.7 miles from thegravel pit back to the house.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
I take off my boot when we get there, like I can't
even hardly take it off yeah,it's my mom yeah, so over the
river and through the gravel pitto bradley's house, we go right
so, yeah, I get, I get home myboot.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I can't even hardly take it off right.
My foot is swollen andeverything.
Yeah, I had a major fractureacross my growth plate on my
foot.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So I was in a cast and shit for the night.
You know, it's like taking offa ski boot.
That's too small, right, yeah,oh my God.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Yeah, so that was my yeah.
Are you a?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
big fan of sledding.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
No, I mean dude, I'd do it again, but I'm not.
I'm going last, right, I'm inthe back.
I'm going to Echo Valley, I'mgoing somewhere where I know if
something bad like this happens.
I can talk to someone.
We're not trespassing right?
Oh my God, dude, that's insane,it sucked.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
That must have been a long day.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Oh yeah, I mean I don't know how long it took him
to drag me back, but it was dark, I think.
Three kids hauling it, two, theone guy I don't know he left,
or whatever, I don't know.
But yeah, johnny cory, I don'tassociate with people with
broken legs.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
I'm out of here right , yeah, yeah, dude, that's nuts,
but yeah they were?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
did your folks like freak out when you came home
with a broken leg?
Speaker 1 (38:05):
no, I mean, my mom was a little bit.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
My mom was a nurse, so dude, mine she was fucking
too no shit yeah, yeah, and Ibroke a lot of dude, I broke a
couple bones too, like I'm justbeing real like yeah that's the
best part, though.
Like is when.
So, my brother, like do youremember back in the day when
they used to have like hills,like with, like flower, with
like flower boxes in them?
Like you'd have a hill by yourhouse, you'd like throw a flower
(38:30):
box into the hill.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
Oh yeah, Sure.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Yep, we saw that and we're like we got to jump it.
Right Like probably 10-footdrop.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Okay, I get in the sled, my brother's, like,
whatever you go, don't let go.
Yeah, like fourth grade, maybeI let go, right, the first one
to try out this technique, right?
Yeah, I land so hard on my arm,dude, I go inside, I take my
coat off and it is fucking huge.
And like dude bones likepopping out a little bit like
(38:59):
not like out, but like it'sprotruding.
Yeah, you can see it under theskin, my mom is being so nice to
me, dude, she's like, it's notthat bad, it's okay, right, you
know like hey, you know it's notthat bad, it's okay, right, you
know like, hey, you know, it'snot that bad yeah.
Brother comes in, dude, yourhand looks fucked up.
Look, and that's when I knew,and that's when I panicked,
right, right, your mom wastrying to keep you calm.
Yeah, she kept me calm.
(39:21):
Who's that, you know?
Oh my God.
So I got another funny collegestory for you.
So the first one about theapartments.
It was very true, and Jacko'sin this one as well.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Me and my roommate Jacko, and then our two suite
mates were Joe and Ted fromTraverse City and they were just
the coolest dudes, yeah, Likejust really goofy guys.
So like, if you've ever heardme say the term, like doubt it.
When someone like, likewhatever someone says, when
they're like hey, you never shota par on this hole.
Like doubt it, you know likethat comes from them dude, like
they'd say it about anythingyeah it's just hilarious.
(39:57):
So the four of us were reallyinto rock like and I still am so
a big part of my growing up wasgoing to concerts yeah I'm I'm
still super passionate aboutmusic and I kind of, like you,
know heavier music.
So, um, not not so much likeblah, blah, blah, like screaming
in your face stuff, but like I,like you, know alternative rock
(40:18):
or like oldie rock, Right yeah.
So we get a, we get a concertand we're all excited about it.
We're college kids, we don'tget to get out much, we're broke
as shit.
So we find a time in winter.
To be exact, it was March 21st2008.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
March 21st.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
We get tickets to go see.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
Three Days Grace.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
And dude, they're a great band.
I understand that there'speople out there that aren't a
huge fan of them.
That's fine.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Yep, fuck them.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Early, early.
Three Days Grace and AdamGontier's singing for them.
They're insane.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Like they're just.
They're a talented group.
Breaking Benjamin's opening.
Seether's opening.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Oh, yeah, Like three really nice.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
I mean to see all three of those bands now be a
lot of money right like there'sno way, that's a whatever.
We paid 40 ticket yeah so wehad floor seats at the palace
man three days grace breakingbenjamin's seether.
We're fucking geeked.
So we get in my car, which is abowling alley.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
I mean, it's an old buick, right like we call it the
bowling alley because itsmelled like pot and smelled
like cigarettes.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Like a bowling alley, right right, so we take off at
two o'clock, show starts atseven and it's sold out.
I mean it's, it's epic, likedude, like this before stopover
or whatever, but like I'm sureyou could sell this ticket for
200 bucks, right?
Oh yeah, we take off fromkalamazoo to detroit, so we're
heading to auburn hills area,we're going to the palace and it
(41:44):
is dumping snow outside.
Yeah, it is just awful.
So I mean traffic is is movingslower than stephen hawking
running a mile right like it'slike like I truly, I truly feel
like we could get there quicker,okay, if we were walking.
(42:05):
You know, like, like one ofthose days, dude, everyone's
tense.
We have 168 miles to go.
Full-on fucking blizzard, dude.
Like before we did the show Ilooked it up, dude it snowed
like six to nine inches from 1pm to 5 pm that day oh shit like
full-on blizzard.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Dude, there's cars in the ditch everywhere, like not
like one or two right everywheredude like well, it was like 94,
right yeah, and 94 is notoriousfor that dude and there's not
like dude.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
This is like before MapQuest, right?
So like we're not printing outdirections, thinking, hey, we're
going to get fucked in asnowstorm.
Like we should have alternativeroutes.
Like that's not a thing, it'snot a dude thing we just figure
out how to fix it.
Throw some duct tape on thatbitch and let's go you know, I'm
a duct tape.
So we sit in traffic, dude, andlike hour goes by.
Look down, like dude, we'vetraveled two miles in an hour.
(42:57):
Holy shit, we left it.
We left at two o'clock.
Oh my god, we finally called itat six o'clock.
Okay, we were so pissed off ohyeah yeah I live for that stuff
yeah, I still do.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
No, I still do how far?
Did you go total.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
If I had to guess, I would say somewhere in the
ballpark of 10 miles.
So oh my god so that's leavingkalamazoo, you know yeah that's
heading, you know that's gettinglike to 131 to 94?
No, not even close to battlecreek buddy, we're talking like
oakland drive 75.
Yeah, we made it to sprinkle,you know what I'm saying?
(43:36):
Like four fucking hours, dudelike if, if, if, uh google maps
existed right now, like thatgirl would straight up get on
our fucking screen and be likeyou're not gonna make it.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
You know like here's the.
You're running late.
You're still on the fastestroute, dude.
Here's the kicker.
So we're pissed all of us right.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
We're all out 50 bucks, we know it yeah we're all
out in experience and we knowit.
Yep, like I don't know if weall try to even go to a concert
after that, like me and jackowent to a lot.
We saw blank.
We saw a lot of cool bands butlike I don't think and when I
say we went to a lot, I meanlike we probably went to 15
concerts a year- yeah.
Like this one we were geekedabout.
Right, right, right.
Here's the kicker dude, readyfor the kicker.
(44:17):
It's not a good one.
I'm shopping Christmas time.
I'm at Best Buy, yep.
Okay, remember, best Buy was athing, yep.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
That's where you shopped back then, oh dude.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Three Days Grace live at the Palace.
They filmed their live DVD.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
No shit.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
That day.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Oh wow, that sucks that fucking day, dude Wow.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
That we traveled 10 miles in four hours.
Wow, they filmed their live DVDthat night.
Dude, no, we traveled 10 milesin four hours Wow they filmed
their live DVD that night.
Dude, no shit, I've neverwatched it.
I can't, I just can't.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
I just can't watch it , yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
And after that, like dude, adam Gontier leaves the
band.
They don't ever make anotherconcert like that.
Like dude, that dude.
Can you imagine how electricthat must have been?
Oh, yeah, Well, Can you imaginehow electric that must have
been?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Oh, yeah, well, maybe you should watch the video and
you'd know.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
But also like Three Days Grace was on the up and up
back then, so like they had justmade it, yeah, like for venues
around us right, like it wouldbe like the intersection of Step
1.
20 Monroe Live is Step 2.
The Orbit Room is Step 3.
The Deltaplex is Step 4.
And fucking in fucking vanandel's step five yeah they're
on step five right they'refilming it yep they're fucking
(45:52):
crazy dudes yeah I'll bet thatwas an epic show oh yeah, I bet
we fucking blew it.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
No shit, the bowling alley, you know what?
Speaker 2 (45:59):
you should watch it dude, I don't think I can like
it's just like one of thosethings like right yeah it's
you're gonna get triggered likeI.
Yeah, it's like fear of missingout, like what the fuck he
played this song like but, dude,you know they played like a 22
song set that night yeah, youknow, they know.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Oh, I'm sure that show was awesome.
Oh my god, yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
And here I am just fucking smoking cigarettes with
my fucking sweet mates dudedoing watching the snowfall yeah
, fuck, knowing that in twoyears my power would shut off
and it would be all right.
You know, at At least we're notstuck in traffic.
Right, like if Jacko would havesaid that to me come home like
we're like seeing our breath,like at least we're not stuck in
traffic, Brad fucking lost it.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
Right, you know oh shit Well hey man, you know what
time it is it is time for thetop five.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Fuck yeah, are you going first or second?
Speaker 1 (46:56):
I think I'll go first .
I like it All.
Right, it's tenacity Okay.
So these are our 2025predictions.
This is what's going to happenthis year, and then you know
what?
Maybe next year we'll revisitand see how accurate we were.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
We have to.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
We'll have to play this exact clip and go through
it and just be like Brad youfucking blew it, like you know
or vice versa, but yes, theseare all the things we think are
going to happen in 2025.
All right, I have no idea whatBrad's going to say, but I'm
geeked about it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
So you know some of them.
I think might be funny, but youknow we'll see.
So my first one rowden laudywill have 100 count at 100
subscribers 100 chris's.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
That's what we're gonna.
That's our unit of measure.
Dude, there you go fuck youdude?
Speaker 1 (47:43):
fuck yeah, chris okay , that's my 100 dude, 100
subscribers okay, so is that bythat's by?
Speaker 2 (47:51):
that's by december 31st okay, 25, any platform,
just any little.
Okay, I like dude, yep whatever100, we can still shout out
those people, right?
Oh yeah like we can give themsome chris love.
Yeah, we get to 100 chris'sdude, I'm in.
Yeah, hell yeah, absolutelyyeah, miranda all right, all
right, johnny.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
Number two okay, number two.
Weed will be rescheduled, oh,and become federally legal dude,
we can use a debit card.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
Is that what you're telling me, bud?
That's the biggest problem Ihave with this whole dispensary
shit.
I always gotta like stop andpay some fucking bullshit fee to
get cash out, it's like justtake it from my bank right, yeah
, yeah, like no no no, sir,because if you got up, if you
got pulled over by a cop, you'refine, don't worry about it
right after I come stompingthrough you fucked right.
Speaker 1 (48:44):
Yeah, okay, all right , that's number two, okay, okay
dude, I like that.
Number three yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Number three.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Can you run for president Number three?
We will have definitive proofon whether the earth is round or
flat.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Oh, yeah, dude.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
As if we don't already.
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (49:09):
All right Number four .
My God, all right Number four.
Dude Number four is Are you a?
Speaker 2 (49:16):
flat worlder.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Flat earther.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Are you a flat worlder?
Are you a flat earther?
All right, no, seriously,that's a serious question Are
you a flat earther?
Speaker 1 (49:27):
No.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Okay, thank God.
Thank God, because that's justlike dude, I mean no, I'm not,
but I you know what.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
There's so many things that don't make sense
like mosquitoes what do they do,mosquitoes?
Yeah?
I don't know.
I mean, it's keen I have.
I have a very goodunderstanding of a lot of the
things that I learned in sciencethat I question now, like in
science class in high school andshit.
(49:54):
I question the shit out of ityeah, they're full shit.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Yeah, yeah, if I can buy a rack making kit at walmart
for fucking twelve dollars yeah, I don't know that you need
your job anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
So, uh, where was that number four?
Number number four we're gonnahave 3d printed sex dolls that's
fully customizable and have anai tailored personal preferences
.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Oh my god, yeah, you imagine that oh, thank you, brad
, you like me we love you longtime would you like me to do the
same thing I did last time,when you smiled so big Like just
a robot oh my God, dude.
But like you can print them athome, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
I guess there could be a sextile army That'd be so
creepy.
Yeah, sextile army.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
With AI and stuff yeah oh yeah okay number five do
you send her through thedishwasher when you're done?
Well, they told me on the newsnet to eat the Tide Pods.
(51:10):
Is she allowed to?
Because that thing's wrecked.
You know what I mean.
Like we got to clean this.
I get it.
It's not a dish, I'm going toclean it like it's one.
Call it a spa for her.
You know who wants to go to thespa?
You know, oh shit and numberfive.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Okay, so we're coming out with all these EVs and
electric vehicles and all thisautonomous shit, right?
Yep?
So I think in 2025, we're goingto have our first autonomous
and autonomous crash.
They will run into each other.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Like two people who are letting the cars drive
themselves, but they hit.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Yep, they both fucking deserve it well, you
know what, but that's the thingthat's a big question for who
pays for that?
Yeah, who pays for that shit?
I don't know.
Yeah, so that's my top five.
That's deep.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
That's my top five dude, I'm kind of glad that
we're not rich like that, though, like dude, if I had a car that
drove like, I would spend awhole day going around like
Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone,Like I'd have like the cheese
pizza waiting for me I'd go tolike the fucking toy factory,
dude, Like you know what I mean.
Can you imagine if me and youhad driving cars, dude?
Speaker 1 (52:32):
We'd get fucked up and just go around town.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
I wouldn't want that though I don't, I, I yeah, I
don't know, I'm not sold on thatshit.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
I like driving, I do, I do, I like, uh, having some
control.
You know the naps must beawesome though.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Oh yeah, you know we, we might have to interview
someone that has a car thatdrives itself yeah, I've just
said because, like I don't evenknow what that's like.
Yeah, it's like staying at likethe ritz carlton, like I I
don't even know what that islike holiday end to me is
awesome yeah all right buddyokay, I got my top five
predictions for 2025.
These are a little bit bold.
Some of them are crazy okay sonumber one, and these are things
(53:04):
I kind of think are gonnahappen, like I you know
half-heartedly because, uh, thisis a comedy podcast, so I gotta
keep it fucking funny rightright give the fans what they
want, chris um.
So I think in 2025.
This is bold, but I I trulybelieve it.
I think a team that has neverwon the super bowl will win the
(53:26):
super bowl this year.
Oh, there's only two teams thatare left that could have that
happen?
The Lions.
Speaker 1 (53:34):
That's a bold, bold prediction there buddy, the
Lions and the Bills.
Speaker 2 (53:38):
Do you know what happened to the Bills, Brad?
They went to the Super Bowlfour times in a row.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:42):
Lost all four.
Yeah, ooh, that's Dude.
I would enjoy that.
I would enjoy either one ofthose teams you know four times
losing yeah, that's gotta hurtso bad like this is our year.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
It's not.
You know what I mean.
Like yeah so the super bowlbegan in 1967 we're talking
about 56 years, you know whenthe first super bowl bred the
green bay, the green bay packers, over the kansas city chiefs.
Speaker 1 (54:09):
Oh really, I you know who won the first Super Bowl?
Brad the.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Green.
Speaker 3 (54:10):
Bay.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Packers, the Green Bay Packers, over the Kansas
City Chiefs.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
Oh, really, I did not know who they played.
Speaker 2 (54:15):
Yeah, so I think the Bills or the Lions this year
it's bold One's on NFC, one'sAFC.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
Oh, that'd be cool to have them both there so we can
have Lions-Bills Super Bowl.
That would be awesome.
Speaker 2 (54:32):
That would be awesome , and it's time to send those
fuckers home for a fifth time.
Am I right?
Oh my God, all right.
Bold prediction number two Allright, in this one, god, I hope
this happens.
I hope that a huge rock bandwill announce a reunion tour
this year.
Speaker 3 (54:47):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
And the ones that I have listed Ozzy Osbourne or
Black Sabbath.
I know he's frail dude, butOzzy Osbourne lives to play
music.
Yeah, I don't care if he'ssitting down, His voice is
insane.
Speaker 1 (55:00):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
Like say what you want about that guy.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
He's changed the genre, he's still rock.
Speaker 2 (55:11):
Dude, that's one guy that I just you know.
I've been to so many concertsI've never seen Ozzy.
That's the one that I'm dyingto see yeah.
And oh man, he's just electric.
Or Black Sabbath, yeah, fuckLed Zeppelin.
Okay, Dude, everyone's alive inLed Zeppelin.
Speaker 3 (55:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:24):
Except for John Bonham.
So their drummer died right Hisson Jason Bonham, right his son
jason bottom.
They did a tribute show in 2007, so robert plant, jimmy page
and john paul jones are alive.
Speaker 3 (55:38):
They had um john bottom do the drums, yeah pink
floyd david billmore and rogerwaters, both alive van halen.
Speaker 2 (55:45):
Oh yeah, the beatles which I know, I know, know, but
Ringo and Ringo and Paul.
Speaker 1 (55:51):
Yeah, that would be tough.
The Beatles would be tough.
Speaker 2 (55:55):
I know it wouldn't be the same, it's not the same
without John Lennon, and it'snot the same yeah.
It would just, it just wouldn't, it wouldn't be the same, but I
think it'd be super fuckingcool.
Speaker 1 (56:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
But yeah, you need George Harrison there and you
also need john lennon.
I mean, they're just incredible.
But so number three, boldprediction, all right, this is
where it gets a little funny.
But I think electric cars takean even bigger shit on the
market, putting a lot of themain ones out of business, and I
think that people will storethem in the old kmart
blockbuster bed, bath and beyondsears and jc penny lots and it
will turn into a bad decisionmuseum, right Like where parents
can use that to show their kidslike, hey, don't get cocky, all
(56:39):
right, see all those cars there.
At one point people thoughtthose were going to sell
everywhere.
You see that fucking storeright there.
Yeah, it's called Blockbuster.
Yeah, used to sell stock fortons of money.
Yeah, can't find one anymore.
That's awesome.
That's awesome and I thinkthey're going to take a huge dip
in the market.
(56:59):
So like 20.
So just to put it inperspective for you 2019
electric car sales 17.8 billionyep 2020 17.7, 2021 25 billion,
2022 40 billion, 2023 67 billionand 2024 59.8 billion.
So it's going down.
Yep, I guess where they'regoing bad bath and beyond it's
(57:23):
about time we figure it out whatthat beyond section is all
right, yeah, beyond, beyond baddecisions a bunch of cars
blinking, pissed off, like youknow, you know, oh my God.
So I have another predictionthat was kind of similar to
yours, which I kind of enjoyed.
So I think that in 2025, theRout and Loudy podcast will gain
(57:45):
a lot of traction and becomepart-time work for us in 20,
2026 or it's actually somethinga little more professional what
do you mean?
We're not professional I'm notsaying that we gotta go get
suits right, dude.
Funny, funny fact about me a lotof people know this dude, and
(58:06):
so I don't wear suits a lot, asyou know, right, yeah, but I've
had to, and just like everyoneelse has had to.
Every time I put a suit onbuddy, I want to go fire someone
in a random business like justrandom, like I want to go like
three.
Walk up to terry dude, you'refired I want to go to fucking
someone at speedway.
You know?
It's like hey, janice, I'm justletting you know we're done
here.
It's like what, what's going on?
Um, yeah, i'm'm Bill fromcorporate.
(58:30):
Like what I responded mymanager's George, like I'm
George's boss.
No, George's boss is Steve,Like I'm Steve's boss too, Right
?
Speaker 1 (58:38):
You know, Just like walk in there, like you're
fucking done, get your shit, youknow.
Speaker 3 (58:42):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
I could never do that , though, because I have a huge
heart.
No, somebody.
But like every time I put asuit on, I just want to go make
a funny fucking punked video.
You know, like janice, you'refired.
Am I really?
No, no, not at all.
Wow, yeah, I think by 2026, Ithink okay.
So I think by 2025 we're gonnahave more subscribers, more
(59:04):
listens, yeah, but I think by2026 it's gonna be partially our
job okay, part-time work yeahand that's not me being cocky,
that's just me.
I fucking believe in us, dude,and yeah, and that's what it is
like it's just like dude we'retwo fucking dumb asses right, we
don't even know how this shitworks, we're just like we're
(59:25):
just fucking doing it we're justyelling into microphones.
Speaker 1 (59:29):
So you know what, dude, I'm having fucking a riot
yeah, and honestly, that's whatit's all about.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
Only goal with this is just making other people
laugh and have a good day, likeif you're having a shitty
fucking day.
Yeah turn this on and tell meyou don't laugh.
Speaker 1 (59:41):
If you don't laugh, dude fuck you, karen, I'll buy,
yeah, I'll buy you some tacobell and we'll go talk about why
.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
Pc is not the coolest way to be, you know, like Like
an adult, like a Christmas carolor whatever, taking a reality.
You see, these people, they'renot having as much fun as Brad
and Schwab are.
Right, yeah, I can guarantee it.
Yeah, all right, number five.
So I think that the OnlyFansplatform in 2025 will crash
(01:00:09):
because people will figure outthat porn is also on the
internet.
Oh my god, there's a freeversion.
Cool, I don't have to payMiranda $24 every month to see
her titties.
Oh my god dude Right Freeversion.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Dude, to put it in perspective for you, though
OnlyFans.
Last year 60 billion dollars ohmy god, really 60 billion
dollars for the kicker, the nba57 billion wow, really yeah,
they outdid the nba last year.
They didn't shake a stick atthe nfl yeah, yeah, wow, but
(01:00:50):
yeah, no, shit, that's so.
So what you're saying is, weshould have our only fans page,
is there?
Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
yeah, right we already do.
We've got one subscriber andour fucking poor awesome friend
chris would be so confused whenwe use this profile picture,
right?
But it's about you, buddy.
Oh my God, did you have any?
That didn't make your list.
Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Oh, predictions, let me look back.
Yeah, one was air taxis.
Air taxis Well, like drones,Like a tram car, but a taxi Well
no, like a drone, like they'restarting to deliver packages and
shit like that with drones.
Just having a drone taxi, likea flying car, dude, that would
(01:01:38):
be sick.
It would be, you know, it wouldbe so sick.
Let's see, the war in Ukrainewill magically just end.
Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Without any statement , it'll just kind of just stop.
Speaker 3 (01:01:52):
It'll just go away.
Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
That'd be sweet and I think that's it.
That's all I had for otherpredictions for this year.
Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
I had some crazy ones , dude.
I always go with like 10.
It's insane.
I'm like sitting there crossingthem off.
You know Diddy's list will haveover 300 names on it that
Kyle's coming up right I thinksome of them are gonna suck dude
.
Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Oh yeah, you know like.
Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
I think a lot of our athletes that like we really
like are gonna be on there yeah,it's unfortunate, but I think
someone will date an ai robot.
Like fucking date an ai robotand like go public about it.
Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Oh yeah, like, like walking around meyer dude, like
well, I mean that goes alongwith my 3d pen.
Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
They're gonna be fully customizable oh my god,
you know armies dude yeah wholefleets.
You're not gonna get dude.
What if doordash went withrobots?
So doordash is now deliveringfast food, which is already like
the laziest fucking thing youcould have delivered.
Right, right, it's fast food.
(01:02:54):
It's called fast food becauseit's quick for you.
Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
And now you're getting it delivered Like it's
already.
A lazy fucking system.
Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
Sorry, if you guys like DoorDash, I do too.
Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
But like it's just like when you're at home and you
just don't want to leave yeah,I mean, I guess you know, but
it's the same thing.
I mean, we've had deliverypizzas for how long?
I mean, we use.
We both used to be those, thoseguys, oh dude I would deliver
pizzas and like smoke a dube.
Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
Take my time coming back, dude.
Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
It's like when you think about I mean I'm sure
there's people that use itbecause they're just lazy and
don't want to do it.
But then there's you gotfamilies that, yeah, you know
there's.
Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
There's different reasons but nothing like driving
through a snowstorm to givesomeone else a pizza like right
like what a weird, what a weirdframe of mind.
Right, like, hey, you know what, I'm gonna take my car out here
, I'm gonna drive through thisblizzard and I hope that daryl's
happy right yeah, so a coupleother ones.
Only fans university.
I.
I think that, like aprestigious college, will
develop a new program called uh,digital entrepreneurship.
(01:04:05):
But it's all about only fans inthe success stories.
Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Dude right like strip club nfts like the best dude,
only fans.
Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Entrepreneurship yeah , dude ofe baby, you know what I
mean.
Like, do you know what an nftis?
So, like you're buying like apiece of media.
Yep, what strippers had nftsdude for their best move.
Like dude, like you know like.
Like, watch this.
They call this the ping pongball trick.
Like what's the ping pong balltrick?
(01:04:35):
Well, in order to see it, you'dhave to buy my NFT.
Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
Oh shit.
Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
Kanye West will become a life coach, I think
Taco Bell will get recognized asa healthy meal option, and I
think that all movie theaters inthe continental United States
will turn into laser tag arenas.
Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
Oh, dude, dude, that would be awesome, yeah, or
paintball.
Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Paintball Both.
Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
You know what I mean yeah, but man, I kind of liked
this episode too, Like we kindof had a different approach but
like with the predictions andstuff.
But it gives us something tolook back on.
Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Yeah.
So we need to know from ourlisteners and our one subscriber
, chris, what do you like aboutthe content.
Do you like it?
Are we just two crazy fuckingnut jobs that just need to not
quit our day jobs?
Yeah, like this is never goingto be part-time work.
Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
Yeah right, I know what number on Eric's list isn't
fucking coming true, you knowbut, yeah, let us know comments.
Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
Uh, yeah, give us some feedback.
We'd love that.
We'd love to uh to interactwith, with anybody out there
that's listening and uh, you gotany suggestions for better
episodes?
Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
top fives that you want to see or predictions for
the year.
Predictions for the year yeahshoot them over to us.
We're all about interacting withyou guys, yeah we actually um,
just for a second, we actuallyopened up a direct line of
communication for you guys.
So, um, uh, just like the title, but it's spelled out.
So route and loudy at gmailcom.
If you send us a message there,it comes right to us yeah and
(01:06:10):
we will absolutely respond soabsolutely don't feel like you
have to.
If you just want to listen,that's fine too yeah, that's
cool.
Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Yeah, give us a like, give us a subscribe.
Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
Whatever you know, you do it, you do the thing you
know, we'll give you a shout outdude, you can become a legend,
like you can be you can be, uh,you can be number two, number
three you know all the way up to100.
Dude, if I was listening rightnow, I'd be like I am waiting
until 69.
I want to be number 69.
I want to be subscriber 69.
Speaker 1 (01:06:37):
Well, yeah but we can't tell them that, dude,
we'll never get it.
Everybody will wait until 69.
Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
There's always a 169 and 269 and 369.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got thisshit.
Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
All right.
Well, hey, everybody, thanksfor listening.
We will catch you on the nextepisode.
Have a great night, a great day, whatever time you're listening
.
Yep, thanks for listening and Iappreciate you.
Love you guys.
Peace out Peace.
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