Episode 6 - In Memory of Steve: Humor and Heartfelt Tales

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Ever wondered what chaos looks like when comedy meets candid office tales? Buckle up as we take you behind the scenes of Rowdy and Loudy, where we celebrate our sixth episode with a wild ride full of hilarious work stories and the unexpected perks of being an HR nightmare. From poking fun at bizarre team sponsors like Dollar Tree condoms for the Jacksonville Jaguars to our shock over college football upsets, it's an episode packed with laughter and food for thought. And speaking of food, get ready for a culinary adventure as we reminisce about our favorite pizza joints and our short-lived vegetarian days inspired by a Rise Against DVD.

Join us as we swap tales of arcade escapades in Myrtle Beach, where the thrill of travel dances with family responsibilities in a delightful tango. The laughter turns tender as we remember our dear colleague Steve, whose unexpected passing at a golf outing sparked deeper friendships and conversations about authenticity. We also share some quirky stories of office mischief, from setting off Alexa's suggestive sounds to navigating the minefield of HR drama. Learn how to find humor in even the most intense workplace confrontations and the importance of solidarity among coworkers.

Our episode wouldn't be complete without a dash of adventure and hilarity in unexpected places. Picture us navigating the bustling markets of Dubai on a quest for a counterfeit Ferrari watch, complete with secret rooms and hidden elevators. Wrap it all up with plans for subject bingo in our milestone Episode 10, where randomness reigns and listener interaction is key. Whether it's appreciating dump truck photos or sharing your own goofy stories, we promise to keep the laughs rolling while reminding you to face each day with humor and positivity.

ROWD and LOUDY is the ultimate comedy podcast where two best friends share hilarious, never-before-heard stories in every episode! Tune in for laughs, surprises, and spontaneous humor as each episode features fresh, funny tales that one of the hosts has never heard before. Plus, every episode includes a Top 5 list where we rank and discuss random topics, adding even more fun to the mix. Whether you’re into storytelling, comedy, or just want to hear two friends banter about life, ROWD and LOUDY has you covered.

Listen now for your weekly dose of laughter, entertainment, and raw, unfiltered humor.

Comedy, Funny Stories, Humor Podcast, Best Friend Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Top 5 Podcast, Hilarious Podcast, Storytelling Podcast, Weekly Comedy Show, Laugh out Loud Podcast, Unfiltered Humor.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Welcome back to the Rowdy and Loudy podcast.
We are at episode six already.
Can you believe that Shit?
Six episodes.
We're on a roll, man, we're ona roll.
We got like six subscribers, sowe're good.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
I know that Chris and Jay are a couple Honestly
probably the coolest guys I know, yeah, but you don't know,
chris, never mind.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
It's alright, okay, so tonight.
Tonight we're gonna go over theuh recap of the super bowl
episode, the top five there.
We're gonna talk about somefunny work stories from the past
.
I've got a few good ones forthat Dude fuck work, yeah, work
sucks.
That's what we're doing.
This sucks, adulting sucks itdoes.
And then we're going to havetop five reasons for being

(01:12):
pulled into HR.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Dude, I'm an HR nightmare buddy, I'm sure, and I
don't even need to be Likethat's the worst part, right?
Like I didn't get in trouble inschool because I was rude or
bullied somebody.
I wasn't there for talking toomuch or becoming friends with
everybody.
Yeah, they'd send me with thekids I liked to talk too much.
Send me with the jocks to talktoo much.

(01:36):
Send me with the goth kids with, like the zipper jeans Talk too
much.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Talk too much.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
They'd send me with like the Talk too much, Talk too
much.
They sent me with like thereally geeky kids Talk too much.
Yeah, it became movies.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
I can't imagine you ever talking too much.
No, I can't, I can't, no, it'sunfathomable to me.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
I would never make it as like a monk.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
No.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
I'd probably try to have a cool feel to it, though
I'd like to be like Monk DoggyDog or something Like.
No, he smokes a lot of ganjabut he doesn't talk anymore.
You have to take a vow ofsilence.
I think it involves a commentabout like a girl's dump truck
booty or something like that.
But that's why he doesn't talk.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Right, yeah, oh shit.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
So let's go over the uh recap top top five than the
uh the names and sponsors thatwe kind of went through with the
uh, while we're so pumped aboutkendrick lamar, like just so I,
I saw.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
I don't have any idea who he is, so whatever and then
I'm it.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
The only way I could explain it to you would make me
sound like I'm 70.
Brad, he's a rapper guy andwhat he does is he goes out
there with fresh beats and hehits the streets.
Okay, that's all you need toknow about Ken Diplomato.
Okay, so a little recap of thelast episode.
If you want to listen to that,um, it's the same way you're

(03:06):
listening, just uh, hit back one.
Um, so we did, uh, worst namesfor a jersey or worst sponsors
for a jersey?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
uh, here's our worst team sponsors here's our top
three.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Recap the jacksonville jaguars, with
Dollar Tree condoms as thesponsor, because liking the
Jacksonville Jaguars is liketaking risks that you know are
not going to end well they suck.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Every year.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Every year how?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
long have they been around, do you know?
I'll check it out.
You keep going.
I'll check it out.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
You keep going number two was Bob's bail bondsman, so
your homies can enjoy the gametoo which I thought was
hilarious can you imagine seeingthat in a sporting arena?
You'd be like what is this guydoing?
I get that this is probablypeople he's trying to appeal to.
Maybe he needs to switch it upand Bob's bail bondsman starts

(04:05):
sponsoring all the people thathave played the superbowl.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
So wait, she can't record all her concerts so the
jacksonville jaguars werefounded in 1995 shit so yeah
look up their franchise recordlike like from 1990.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
What is their overall wins and losses?

Speaker 1 (04:26):
So just search Franchise record.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Franchise wins and losses.
Jacksonville Jaguars.
Okay, it's not good.
And the number one sponsor fromthe last episode was the Dallas
Cowboys, who would be sponsoredby Pornhub because the fan base

(04:52):
is used to finishingdisappointed but still coming
back.
That one killed me.
Man Epic, it's just perfect.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
So from 1995 to 2024, their record wins, losses and
ties is 202.
Wins 202 wins 282, losses andties is 202.
Wins 202 wins, 282 losses andzero ties.
They've never tied.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Every time that they go take a test, like if they're
in school, their normal is 30%of the time they're going to do
okay.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, yep, 30% of the time.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
And you'd think it'd be a pretty easy place to build
up.
You're in fucking Florida.
Yeah, yep, 30% of the time.
And you'd think it'd be apretty easy place to build up.
You're in fucking Florida.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
Can you imagine having to play in Detroit, Like
I get word use to winters right?
Yeah, you have to understandthat a lot of football is these
kids from Texas, these kids fromLouisiana, these kids from
Georgia.
These kids are places that arenot very cold.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
No, they've got some good teams in Florida.
They've got Florida.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
State and they've got the weather.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
They've got the Miami Hurricanes.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Dude as soon as the NIL stuff started going like
where they're paying the collegeplayers right.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
I knew that the West Coast teams were going to do
really well.
Yeah, I knew that the WestCoast teams were going to do
really well.
Yeah, I can't believe that thelast two champions have been
Michigan and that other team,and the funny thing is they won
a championship but didn't beatMichigan.
Yeah, I bet that's neverhappened.
That's one flaw of the playoffthat I see.
You shouldn't be able to losetwo games and win a title.

(06:21):
Yeah, that's not how collegefootball ever has worked.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
Right.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
If you lose one game, you can get in.
If somebody fucks up.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, I don't know, it'd be an interesting thing.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
It'd be like having a drunk friend right.
It's like if Claire falls onher face I can go in the club,
like that you know If Claire'sin front of me in line and she
falls on.
I haven't seen false 100s, youget one of those.
You get one of those friendsright.
It doesn't have to be Claireand Kelly fall Right and then I
get in.
Yeah, you shouldn't even be inthat game, yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Fuck Ohio State, but Claire's the one that fell down.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Dude, and she's still got it.
Dude, david Portnoy, like thedude from Barstool Sports, has
been just with two Ohio Statelike really well-known
podcasters for Ohio State and heopens with we fucking own you.
That's it Four years in a row.
Yeah, we fucking own you.

(07:14):
There's nothing you can say tome Like, just start like dude,
love that guy.
He's the guy that does all likethe pizza reviews.
He did Barstool Sports.
He's a Michigan grad, okay, andhe does like.
I don't know if you're familiar, but he does a podcast where he
does like pizza reviews.
But everyone has the same ruleso he has to pick it up to go.
He takes it outside Like hetakes one bite of the pizza and

(07:35):
one bite of the crust and thengives it a ranking oh, and it's
huge, oh shit.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
I love pizza, so yeah , I do too.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
Pizza's great dude.
Why is pizza not in the foodpyramid?

Speaker 1 (07:45):
We'll never fucking know it is in the food pyramid.
It's there.
No, with all the otheringredients it's all good for
you, dude.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Tomatoes bread grain.
I tried quinoa once.
Dude, horrible.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah, it's not good.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
No Tastes like a mashed up bag of assholes.
Those are like some of myquestions for God if I get up
there right, if I nail it right.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
If you nail it, if you make it, I'm like mosquitoes
.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
The fuck do they do?
How do they help anything?

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, that's a good question.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Why does the healthy food taste like shit and cost
more.
That's the kicker.
I can go to the store right now, brad and I get enough Jack's
Pizza to last me for fucking twoweeks and it's like 40 bucks If
I wanted to go eat healthy andI'm buying like avocados.
Okay, no sorts of dumb shitthat tastes awful, that I know

(08:54):
is gonna rot and I'll throw away.
Yeah, I guess I'm biggerbecause I like to throw away
less money and I think thatwhole food sucks.
If I have to hear one more timeabout how they have potatoes
that are purple, don't fuckingcare.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
We have potatoes that are purple.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
I like purple potato chips, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Those are fucking bomb From the Great Lakes right.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah, great Lakes.
They're made in Traverse City,really yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Dude.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
They're awesome.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Think about how many puns come with Traverse City,
like Tra trevor's titty, or yeah, I like, I like trevor city
though.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
that's nice, that's awesome it's a good place to.
It's a good place up north toget away to take a vacation oh,
yeah, play some golf uh, anotherone that I was kind of blown
away by was um, shit, I'mblanking.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
I'm shooting blanks, bud, yeah, me too.
No, I um.
One that I really like iscalled cherry beach, but it's
kind of weird.
It's like it's off the beatenpath, like you're driving
through the country and then youcome to a landing in the middle
of nowhere is it up bytraversite?
Um no, it's more by, likesleeping bear dunes it's right

(10:03):
before it, so it'd be exit 12.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
I think sawyer is the time okay dude, have you ever
been to moons long lake inn?

Speaker 3 (10:11):
it's up by traverse city restaurant it's a
restaurant I can talk food allday it is phenomenal yeah they
have awesome food.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
they actually have a really cool story, like the
original restaurant burned downbut they still have the
fireplace and everything fromthe original.
They just built a new buildingaround it and they have like a
plaque and they just got thestory of the restaurant and how
everything.
But they do their own beef,Like they raise them, and they
do all their own slaughteringand everything.

(10:41):
I think.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
I've been in videos I don't know how to watch.
Yeah, you want to know how yoursteak got here today.
Brad, like we can actually showyou watch this.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
Well, yeah, but it's a hell of a lot better than oh
yeah, I'm just being goofy dude.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
I had a bad experience.
So, yeah, I saw how dogs weremade and like, oh yeah, went to
warp tour and got this dvd fromrise against vegetarians, yeah,
so it was like a slaughterhouse,yeah, and I didn't eat meat for
, like I don't know, a couplehours.
A couple hours.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
I was traumatized.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Oh shit, yeah, but no , it's awesome.
I've been up there quite a fewtimes and the steak's there,
what's?

Speaker 3 (11:21):
your favorite pizza place.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
My favorite pizza place.
My favorite pizza place.
My favorite pizza place.
My favorite pizza place has gotto be.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Well, you're thinking of that.
I love Cavoni's in Battle Creek.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
I haven't had that.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Dude, it's like Mancino's, but better.
There's a weird falling outwith the family.
Something happened, but I don'tknow.
Cavoni's, it's fire, it is myfavorite.
It is hands down, dude, it'swedged in between a Mexican
place and some thrift stores too, which is kind of fun, so you
can go.

(11:54):
Do you know where Hobby Lobbyis in Battle Creek?

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
If you're looking at the building two businesses to
the right in that little stripmall.
Okay, it's a pizza place.
The owners are the nicestpeople, dude.
I love them.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
I haven't been there, I don't want to grab their
names.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
I am crazy about that pizza.
It's to the point now where, ifmy wife hadn't worked with this
lady for a long time and knewher to the point that they still
talk, I would totally be goingin there and buying two pizzas
at a time.
But I'm embarrassed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's thatgood though it's.
Oh, fuck, it's good.

(12:34):
Yeah, like I dude in the otherplace, what did you think of the
pizza in in uh in um immortalbeach?
Did you hate it or did you likeit?

Speaker 1 (12:43):
I.
It was good.
I wasn't as phenomenal as youmade it out to be you gotta have
pot with it.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
That was.
You skipped a step.
Skipped that step, right.
It'd be like skipping a stepwith macaroni bud, right?
Yeah, you don't have the milk.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
I'm sure that if I was yeah, if I was high I would
have been a really good pizza,but sitting dude, sitting at
that shitty park like you knowwhat I'm talking about right,
right in out, in front of it.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
There's that.
If I was high it would havebeen a really good pizza.
But sitting, dude, sitting atthat shitty park like you know
what I'm talking about right inout in front of it yes, that
park that's all lit.
Yeah, I sat out there everynight, stoned as fuck on my
honeymoon, baked a shit andwatched a homeless crackhead
dance.
Okay, so for me, life-changing.

(13:25):
Yeah, dude, me and my wifespent so much money at the
arcade when we were there, likeyeah, I can't say the amount
because it's bad, but like a lot.
Oh yeah, dude, they actually hadlike an adult gift shop with
with the prizes so like oh noshit games.
It's like dude, it'd be like 30bucks, but like we were taking
home T-shirts, blankets, oh yeah, they had picture frames.

(13:47):
They had a place that you couldput shells.
They had knives.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
So that reminds me.
So we have our yearly MyrtleBeach trip.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Meteral, meteral Beach, meteral.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Beach Myrtle Beach trip in November.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
That's when we're going, so if you're able, Well,
looks like I got the RosettaStone for Christmas.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
I'm going to see you in November, so I think my
favorite pizza.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Hey and sidebar.
Yeah, Scott Tyler, I'm going totry.
Hey, and sidebar yeah.
Scout Tyler, I'm going to tryto go to this Yep I don't know
if this is the year with mehaving a newborn at home.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
No, hey, I'm just throwing it out there.
If you can make it, you canmake it.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
If you can't dude, that's cool, you miss 100% of
the shots you don't take BradRight, and that's bold of them.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
Okay, I want to go.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Right, I'm not going to golf.
I'm not going to bring anymorale to the golf team other
than laughs.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Okay, is that okay?
Yeah, that's fine.
I mean, do they have senses?

Speaker 2 (14:51):
of humor.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Some of them, most of the guys, are old, like I'm the
youngest guy there.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
Oh, like there's my uncle's, like 82 type of dude I
could like let a dude in frontof him, no way oh, yeah, yeah,
and he'll smoke it with you noway.
Oh yeah, I love old people.
Dude, we're gonna have so muchfun.
Will you get baked with me andgo eat pizza, maybe, just maybe,
just one time.
Just one time.
I'm not asking for a lot, allright, maybe.

(15:20):
Well, if you can make it, thenOne of the things yeah, do you
drive up?

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, we drive down.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Good, because weed's illegal in Myrtle Beach.
It's what the weed's illegal atMyrtle Beach, Is it?
Yeah, that's why it was so muchfun for me.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
It was like Dude, they sell it across the street
from.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
It's like Delta 9.
They're selling like a theory.
It's like selling CBD.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
Oh, okay, you want to know why you'd ever want CBD.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
You know what the acronym is.
You can't buy drugs Ready.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, that's it Only reason All right, so my favorite
pizza.
I think Leah's Pizza in GrandRapids is probably one of my
favorites Is Leah's.
It's not Leah's not there, it'ssome dude that he's always
there.
I don't even know his name, butit's a little hole in the wall
place.
It's right on Eastern and 44thStreet I think it's right on

(16:14):
that corner, but they got areally good pizza there.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
Dude, mad props to him.
I really like the Beltline Barin Grand Rapids.
Like dude, those white burritos.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Oh yeah, in a bar and it happens like, if you're
talking like dude, those webburritos.
Have you ever been?

Speaker 2 (16:25):
there.
Yeah, those are good, so good,yeah, and I love how the
restaurant is set up, like whereyou go downstairs almost it's
been a long time since I've beenthere, so it's so good.
Yeah, they've got really goodfood it's decorated like Elvis
would decorate it like this 70s.
You know they haven't renovated, but I like that.
It still looks better than theapartments that I lived in when

(16:47):
the lights came off.
The lights came off as if itwas like a sequence Don't pay
bill, don't have lights.
That's the sequence.
That's what happens.
That's what happens.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Do you?

Speaker 2 (17:02):
have a funny work story.
I do.
Do you want me to start?
You go for man, okay you go forit ready, so jay's gonna love
this one if he's listening andthat's what I love the most is
that because I said that nowhe'll text me.
If he hears this, yeah, and ifhe doesn't, he's not really
there we can give mad props tochris again.

(17:22):
Yeah, and as soon as he hears ithe'd'll be like fuck that, I'm
listening again.
Dude, bullied way earlier.
So I had a really good buddy ata construction company that I
worked for and he was a salesguy, yep, and his name's Steve,
and Steve actually passed thisyear.
It sucked.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
Oh, that was the guy that when we were playing golf,
of course, when I got that calland I got teared up like and it
was really tough for me.
Dude, that was that reallysucked for that.
Sucked for me Because I,honestly, I was going to be like
let's fucking go, dude.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
I know, and that's dude.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
And I didn't, I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
That's when it clicked for me, like like that,
like me, and you were like waymore than like dealing with like
business type stuff togetherand have more friends.
When you looked at me and yousaid hey, if you want to fucking
get out of here, no questionthat's, we're on hold too yeah
we just paid for golf, we justgot on work, like that's.
When I realized, dude, I waslike all right, yeah, and I
think that's what I kind of likeopened up a little bit more was

(18:21):
like showed you like howfucking goofy and crazy I was,
and I think that conversation ispart of why we're here.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
You know what?
And I think that to me youalways wanted to be crazy and
weird and out there and shitlike that, but that made you
more human, I guess.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
I know.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
I don't know, maybe that's weird.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
I want to do the Ozzy Osbourne podcast.
No one can expect anything.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
I'm not going to eat a bad dog.
You talk way too clear for that.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
I love him though.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yeah, fuck yeah dude, I'll respect what you do Okay,
Okay listen Tell me this how cana man that you cannot fucking
understand what the hell he'stalking he seems so good, he, he
rocks it and you can understandeverything he's saying.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
I don't understand.
When you look in his eyes, yousee that he is so genuine.
Yeah, Like dude, he's not adickhead.
No, you can call him whateveryou want.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
But even, dude, we went back and watched the
Osbournes recently, like theshow about his family.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
Like, what I thought was really cool about that is
like, yeah, they had people atthe house to help them.
Like dude, they'requote-unquote nanny.
Like the one that helped themwith the house was his other
daughter from a differentrelationship yeah he's out there
cleaning up dog shit.
He's out there fucking you knowwhat I mean like yeah, he's a
real dude, he was frail.
That was all four.
Yeah, he was frail then yeah sonow he's dealing with a lot of

(19:39):
shit.
It's sad, I do.
I love ozzy like I get.
I get what you're saying, likedude, change music like like
there's there's oh yeah,absolutely that are iconic right
I just don't know.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
I just don't know how the fuck that works, dude.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
Okay, so I think, like from every race, like
there's somebody that everybodyloves, right, like george lopez
would represent, like hispanics,like for, like, uh, the black
community.
It would be way, brady,everybody loves Wayne Brady.
Ours is Ozzy.
Whether you like it or not, youcan't take your eyes off the
guy.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
You don't want to because you don't know what the
fuck is coming next.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
When it clicks with you that Sharon is probably just
as cool.

Speaker 3 (20:18):
Oh yeah, she has to be, she has to be.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
It makes it that much more interesting.
It's so cool, but they've beenmarried since like, I think, the
80s.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
It's a long time.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
Like mid-80s.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
I got a lot of respect for that guy, yeah, but
anyway, so Steve buddy thatpassed Yep, and what we were
reading, kevin, is I got golfingwith Brad and also two of my
coworkers.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
And it was just kind of a weird moment because I just
started a job too, so yeah, itwas weird.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, it was all together.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
So I worked with Steve at a construction company
in Kalamazoo.
Really cool, he was a sales guy.
I was sales and marketing, somore marketing.
But I really worked closelywith Steve and Jay works there.
So, Steve and Jay were thesales guys.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
I was marketing.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
But because my boss got fired when I started there,
like two months in I startedworking a lot with sales.
I started kind of helping Jaywith materials like anything
that he needed Pitches, decks,whatever.
You know what I mean, so usingmy skillset to help him.
So Steve, the other sales guy,mostly tells me a funny fucking

(21:32):
story.
So he came from a rival companyand he told a story about him
and the owner going out to lunchat a really richy place in
Kalamazoo.
I don't know what it was, butsomething really expensive.
Yep, they're on their way backto the office and the owner
slams on his brakes.
He's driving a brand newPorsche.
And this isn't that long ago.

(21:53):
This is probably five, sixyears ago.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
And the guy that owns this company is a fucking D-bag
.
I know the guy.
I know him Went to school withhis son.
That's all say okay, stops.
the car starts screaming at thishomeless guy in a fucking
porsche middle of the day likeone o'clock really the guy is
wearing a branded sweatshirt ofthis company, like he's built a

(22:21):
brand like fucking 90 and Nikeand like how dare you?
Oh, no shit, no one gives ashit about this.
If you're in three rows, youdon't know who the fuck this guy
is.
Yeah, what the fuck are you madabout?
He pays this bum dude $10 totake off his shirt and he's
living, and he drives up thestreet like a mile and chucks
the shirt out of the car.
You're being a dick, what thefuck what did you do?

Speaker 1 (22:44):
what the fuck trust me this is good.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
This is good, be still so.
Steve and dude.
Steve like.
Rest in peace, buddy man.
I miss like guys, so much likedude.
Just what a great, just a greathuman being, dude yep so so
owner gets pissed in the portionof homeless guy right.
Fast forward about six months.

(23:08):
Steve gets canned from thiscompany and he's worked there
for 15 years oh yeah, he's salesguy, so he's kind of the face
of the company and, uh, he'slike how the fuck am I gonna get
back at this guy like this isthis is fucked up, right?
So he probably got fired forbeing too normal.
You know he's not the type toshout at homeless people, right.

(23:30):
When he clears out his desk, herealizes he's sitting on a
fucking treasure trove ofbranded merch t-shirts, polos
yeah three-quarter zips.
Hoodies, hats, blankets youfucking name it, dude.
Now most people give it to aco-worker, burn it, sell it,

(23:51):
whatever right yeah not him.
Steve's a man of the people.
He loads up his car, gigglingto himself, with over a hundred
branded items.
Dude, like all over this shit.
Branded items.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
He drives the route that the owner would take from
his house to the office andstops by every homeless camp on
the way.
Oh my God, handing out shitlike he's fucking Oprah.
Dude, you get a hoodie.
You get a fucking hoodie.
Especially if they're on thestreet and they're just standing
there like holding up signs.
Those are the people hetargeted.

(24:28):
Within a week, dude, it lookedlike the fucking company was
hosting like a homeless Olympics.
Everywhere the owner went, dude, you'd see homeless guys
wearing his brand.
He probably got so fuckingpissed, dude, oh shit, but I
thought that was one of the best.

(24:48):
Like petty revenge, like crazystories like oh yeah I've never
heard that's awesome.
It's just pure genius, right.
It just clicks for me, likewhen my dad shut the lights off
uh, y2k.
Like it makes sense, right?
Yep, that is hilarious that'sawesome, dude, that's.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
That's a great way he's shining down dude.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
That dude was awesome .
Yeah, I don't think he liked meat first, so like when he first
met me like dude and I get thatI'm a lot so like dude I don't
mean to be, I have a huge heart.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
You know that about me Like dude.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
I always do Good to my wife.
It took him a while, yeah onceit clicked for him that, like I
had his back, me and him becamefucking honeys.
Yeah, I made a fucking.
So they started a stupid bookclub at this company.
Yep, construction company.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Let's boost morale and make a book club said nobody
, somebody actually said it.
Not a good idea, fucking dumb,dumb buddum bud yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
So I made do you remember the Sticky Bandits with
Home Alone?
Yeah, yeah, when they were inthe newspaper, the Sticky
Bandits, I made the exactversion of that but it was the
wet, the uh.
The book club bandits.
Like lock your doors.
The book club bandits.
I photoshopped a picture of menext to steve yep with the jail

(26:05):
thing like marvin, and I changedall the headlines on the
newspaper to just different shit, like something was mentioned
in j, like it was just fuck dude, like just those boys, they're
just epic yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
Like.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Justin Steve Jay all those fucking dudes man.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
They're just great fucking people.
Every time I see them, dude,it's like a whole new, like
they're the people you don'thave to see all the time.
Like, if I don't see them for alittle bit, it's fine.
Jay, I probably hang out withJay the most, but like, yeah,
they're just I don't know, justblessed and honored to be
hanging out with them.
That Steve story kills me,though.

(26:44):
Just good people Handing outswag to the homeless people
that's awesome.
Fuck that guy.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Fuck that guy.
Oh shit, that's funny.
So I got a story.
So a lot of my stories havehappened overseas, right,
because I travel a lot.
So this was back in 2016, no2018, 2019 timeframe.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
Okay so that's like a charter timeline, Like when
they're like you know it's not arepairman out.
Yeah, I don't see time between10 am and 6 pm.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Right, yeah, so we're over in the UAE, in Abu Dhabi,
right?
So we've got some installationsgoing on there.
And we get to this place, andit's in the middle of the desert
.
Right, we landed in Abu Dhabi,which is it's beautiful.

(27:47):
I can't even explain it.
If they could grow grass atthis place, it would be the most
beautiful place on earth.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
It is, it's great.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
Isn't it grass?

Speaker 1 (27:58):
though it's all desert.
They have some places wherethey have water that they can
grow grass, but it's a weirdkind of it's different because
it's grown in sand right.
Right, but anyway we get offthe plane and we take this bus

(28:22):
like an hour from the airport tothe facility.
And the facility is it's like asecured area, kind of like a
military base, but not quite assecure.
I guess it's run by a securitycompany and they take their
security very seriously thatkind of thing.

(28:45):
So we get there.
We have to hand over ourpassports when we go in this
facility, which is the oddestfucking thing.
You're over in a differentcountry and you're handing over
your passport.
It's just not a good part of itYou're not handing someone
different country and you'rehanding over your passport.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
It's just not a good part of your life.
You told them that was yourlife.
You're not handing someone yourSocial Security card.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
It's like, are you making a copy, kind of you know,
but you're there, You're goingto be there.
You're not able to leavewithout transportation, which we
didn't have.
So we're there and we're therefor about three weeks at this
place.
Like, we get there, we get intoour room and everybody has

(29:22):
their own little room, which isbasically nothing more than a
bed and a bathroom, Like that'sit.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
Murphy bed.
Yeah, was the Murphy bed likeon the wall.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
No, no, it didn't fold down.
It was an actual bed, but itwas like sleeping on cardboard
and a sheet of plywood, you know, like there wasn't much
cushioning, like the bed that Islept in when I slept in the
hospital.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a bed at the hospital.
Okay, totally get it.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
So we're there, we get there, and the first night
we're okay and we get in thereand we go to bed and we wake up
and we're going to work, right.
So we do the installation, wework, and then at lunchtime they
take us to basically it's acafeteria style, and we walk in
and the fucking smell dude it's.
Oh my God, it was the justreeked.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Like whoa.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
What kind of bad right like puke, like a puke
smell it was bad, like thesawdust chips in middle school
it was bad.
So we walk in and it's acafeteria right and they have
metal bins and everything thatall this food is in.
And when I say food, I'm usingthat term loosely because Like

(30:38):
what did you normally get?
They had.
So they'd have like a soup or aslop, I'd call it.
So, if you can imaginemilitary-grade food, like
something that you would go to amilitary, and they're scooping
it out of the metal bins andthey're throwing it on your
plate and it's like splattingall over, like a prison kind of
thing.

(30:58):
But they take their chicken.
It's bones and all dude whenthey grind it up, it's
everything.
They hold it and they justgrind it up and then they have
some rice or whatever that kindof thing.
And so we have this for lunchand we have one guy he's a
vegetarian, I don't know why.

(31:20):
I laughed at that.
There's nothing for him to eat,right.
So at lunchtime he grabs somerice and they have like water
and stuff like that, so he's noteating much.
And then at dinner we have togo back to the same place.
Right, they didn't have to dothis.
This is on a military-stylesecurity.

(31:40):
There's nothing.
This is it.
This is the only place theyhave to eat.
Okay, so we eat dinner and whenwe're walking in to the first
night we were having dinner.
They have all this food andthen they have like, we get all
our trays right and we get allour food and our slop and
everything and they're taking usback.
Everybody else is in thecafeteria style seating.

(32:03):
They take us back to like abanquet hall.
That's probably for like thegeneral and all that stuff.
They take us back there.
There's four of us we're theonly four people back there but
we have our own section and ourown food and on the way back,
like they have loaves of breadon the on the uh shelf, the
vegetarian grabs like the wholeloaf of bread and like takes it

(32:26):
with him.
This is the only fucking thinghe's got to eat, right.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
So did you guys eat in the ballroom?
Yeah, did they have like pizza?

Speaker 1 (32:32):
like no dude they had the regular food that everybody
else had.
They just took us back thereJust a better room, just a
better room.
I don't know, it was weird, itwas fucking weird.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
Fucking weird right.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
So we get done eating and on their way back to our
room, we notice that there's alittle kind of like a 7-Eleven,
right yeah, without the gas, andjust a little shop.
We go in there, they've gotcookies, they've got chips,
they've got shit like that, andwe're loading up, right, because

(33:03):
everybody's fucking starving,because all this food just sucks
.
So this is every day, dude.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
That's how Clark bars get here, folks.
Yeah, yeah, that's how Almond.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
Joy sells out.
So every day is like this we'rethere for three weeks, and on
the weekend, right, it's thesame fucking thing.
We're still working becausewe've got to get this shit done,
and so we're working.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
So your work sent you to a concentration camp, to.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, it sucked so, but thebest part.
So this is the kicker right, weget the last fucking day we're
there.
Yeah, the guy that's kind ofthe liaison for the area and
everything he's like, you knowhe's asking him.
She's oh, how was the room?
It's like well, you know I meanfucking sucks, but we can't
tell him that you know, becausewe're he's our customer,

(33:51):
basically.
So like, yeah, you know, it'sokay.
He's like, did you guys get toget you know?
Did you guys go out anywhere?
We're like, what do you mean?
Did we go out anywhere?
Like, yeah, you guys could havegone out every night.
You just had to ask for a car.
And we're like, what the fuck?
This is the last fucking daythat we're hearing this right
Three weeks, three fucking weeksin the last day says oh yeah,

(34:13):
you guys could have gone out andgot something to eat every
night if you would just ask fora driver.
Dude, we just about fuckingringed his neck, you know, like
fucking murdered him, so.
So he asks us that.
And then he's like did you guyshave any problem with bed bugs?
What do you mean?
Did we have any problem?
Oh yeah, they say they runrampant around here.
This is the last fucking daywe're there, like, we're

(34:35):
checking out, like we're givinghim the keys back to the rooms
and shit and we're getting thefuck out of there.
And he's asking us all thisshit, yeah, it's like you've got
to be shitting me, dude.
We fucking starved and ate shit.
I mean, after like the firstweek, every single one of us.
We wouldn't even go to thecafeteria, dude.

(34:57):
We'd just go to the store andbuy shit.
We'd buy cookies and whateverwe could eat.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
That's what you ate for two weeks, three weeks.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Well, two weeks, fuck yeah, Dude, it was so bad, what
.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
So you stayed in bedbugs.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
We didn't have bedbugs, thankfully.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
Dude, but prison food sounds good.
Oh, thankfully.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Dude, but prison food sounds good.
Yeah, it was utterly ridiculous.
So this is our first trip there, right?
So we have another trip back.
So the next time we get therewe rent a car.
We've got.
No, we didn't rent a car thattime.
We actually had a bus that tookus to the city, so're staying

(35:39):
there and the we had one of theanother guy come with us the
first night.
We he wakes up and there's antsall over his fucking bed, right
, so he's like we're getting thefuck out of here.
So we so we rented a car, wentinto the city.
Dude, we stayed in the city therest of the trip.
It was fucking phenomenal.
We ate at, there was a sportsbar, we could get pizza, we

(36:03):
could get beer, we could getevery.
I mean, dude, it was awesome.
We still had to work our assesoff.
But like that first trip, likewe still talk about that first
trip and how much it sucked, thelast fucking day he had tells
us this yeah he just about gotmurdered.
Yeah, it was close.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
We're all looking at each other like that
motherfucker.
Yeah, oh, bed bugs.
Yeah, I eat those every nightbecause it's better than your
cafeteria.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
You don't want me to leave a yelled at you on this
shit.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
No, no, yeah, it was fucked up.
It was a fucked up situation.
That's not cool.
Is he getting another one?

Speaker 2 (36:43):
I do, it's a little bit bold.
So this one's wild buddy, allright.
So I worked for a constructioncompany and I did marketing and
sales and they had two offices.
So actually their main officewas in Kalamazoo.
The office that was kind of asatellite was in Grand Rapids.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
And so there's probably five people up in Grand
Rapids.
It's probably more like 50, 60in Kalamazoo, a lot of people in
the field, okay, so it was oneof those offices that, like you,
could shot across the wholeplace without leaving your chair
.

Speaker 3 (37:22):
Yeah, right, yep.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Probably like your if you put three awful hotel rooms
that you just described in arow and knocked all the windows
down about that.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
So I was set up there to help a guy, their sales guy,
with the marketing tools andand who he's going after, kind
of like I don't know.
I did more marketing and salestype stuff for them and it
worked out really good.
But um, so I was set up thereto help a buddy I don't want to
say his name, I'm just kidding.

(37:59):
So we're sitting in theconference room, tiny little
office.
He's like how's Kalamazoo going, buddy?
So I've been with this companyfor like three months at this
point.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
Now, me being me, I thought hey, let's lighten the
mood.
At 9 in the morning I repliedyeah, that's pretty cool.
It's pretty annoying, though.
They're doing a lot ofconstruction right now in our
office and they're like movingtoilets around and stuff and
it's starting to drive me nuts.
And he's like what do you mean?
Well, they're putting all thehot girls by the bathroom.

(38:35):
I said why is that a problem?
I don't want to lock eyes witha girl and then go drop a
fucking deuce next to her whileshe can hear it.
I get that I'm getting married,but that's just not something
that I pride myself in.
I am a go take a dump in themiddle of nowhere and hope no
one can hear it coming out.
So he's fucking dying duderight.
And he's like who's by thebathroom?
I'm telling him, I'm like youknow, um, you know, heather, and

(38:59):
yeah, jessica yeah you know,and I was like you know, I
should have stopped there, dude.
But you know me, I'm a habitualline stepper, so like we're
laughing in unison now, me andthis guy, like we're fucking
dying yeah, yeah, he's sayingcrazy shit, I'm saying crazy
shit, yeah but it's just it's,it's all in fun, right, like
we're not putting it, butdownwards being hilarious, yep.

(39:20):
So I looked at him.
I was like dude, pooping in thebathroom in front of jessica is
a crazy experience.
He's like what do you mean?
I was like dude, you just don'twant to make a sound.
It's like a fart in church.
It's like, dude, she's got thatdump truck booty man, that big
ass, you know.
So, yeah, so I shouldn't stop.

(39:41):
But I did Right.
Other two guys fucking lose it.
They're laughing.
They're saying well, aren't youshit that.
I'm saying, yeah, you know,like, just because I'm new, so
I'm still feeling the wash, sothis is a tamed down version of
me.
I think I'm doing all right,right.
Yeah, I think I'm doing allright, right.
Yeah, we're laughing in theroom like idiots.
Dude, ten minutes later, louddude, ten minutes later.
So we're in a conference room,yep, ten minutes later, after

(40:04):
we're done laughing.
So probably more like 15.
Conference room door Fuckingslides open, right, just fucking
boom.
And he's standing there, dude.
He's like well, the only girlin the office that's good for
construction, right?
and she's one of those like PCtypes.
Like you know, arts degreeallergic to sarcasm.

(40:25):
A bank out in the houseprobably drives a Subaru.
Actually, I think she doesdrive a Subaru yeah boss open
that door.
Buddy right, I didn't even seeit coming.
I'm in like.
I'm in like really good spiritsbecause we've been laughing I
figured, it was fine.
Who the fuck do you think youare?
This girl says to me, she'slooking right at me.

(40:46):
You know what, like I do, Ithink I've been good.
Yeah, how can you talk aboutyour co-workers like that Last
part?
I still don't know what she'stalking about.
Yeah, there's a long list thatit could be.

(41:07):
I got dirt on him, I got dirton her.
Definitely got dirt on me.
Yeah, she said you know, whenyou guys were saying that
Jessica is a dump truck booty,that's one of your fucking
coworkers.
Loses it Just like a PC personwould right.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
She didn't like that.
You're a fucking pig.
You're pathetic.
How do you fucking sleep atnight Only talking to me?
Really, I'm like dude, I was ttamed.
Yeah, like this podcast doesnot tamed me.
No, like, more tamed than 10times more tamed than this,
right, yeah, she storms out ofthe fucking room, dude,

(41:50):
threatening hr.
You're fucking done here.
Fuck you, dude.
Wow, pc girl right, just lostit.
The best part, it wasn't evenabout her.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
She was mad for somebody else.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Right.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
This is recent.
This is like last five yearsrecent, no shit.
So full disclosure.
When she busted open the doorand started yelling, like I had
no clue what she was talkingabout and that's the funniest
part Is that like she could havesaid anything.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
There's a multitude of things that I did this
morning that she could betalking about.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
So, without even thinking, I look at her and I
was like, yeah, she does have adump truck booty.
Honestly, if I heard a bunch ofgirls in a conference room
talking about that, I'd bewalking around them all the time
dropping fucking pencils anddropping all sorts of shit, just
kind of like that dopeconfidence.
That's exactly what I said toher.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
She didn't like that at all.
You fucking pathetic pig, Fuckyou.
She slams the door so hard.
I'm going HR Dude.
I hate deer in the headlights,dude.
You guys too.
They're sitting there, almostsame deer in the headlights, but
almost with that like goodfucking luck, bud.
Yeah, Look on their face, ohyeah, and it's like no, no, no,

(43:08):
no, no, no.
Fuck both of you, yeah.
You guys are talking about, likesex positions and shit.
Oh yeah, she has a nice ass,like if that's best part is.
I still to this day, don't knowif that's something that I said
, because I don't ever say dumptruck booty like it's not a
thing yeah right yeah so I'msweating bullets, dude.

(43:31):
I'm like what the fuck man, Idrive back hr ladies, my friend
I always think you've alreadytalked to her several times tell
my side of the story andapologize.
Same lady who, when I started,was like do you need a drug test
?
I'm like what?
She's like we do a drug test.
I was like for what?
And she's like anything.

(43:52):
I was like this pot, bad youknow.
And she's like, yeah, like howmuch time do you need?
Like a week or two?
67 days later I pass that bitchso six months later, like I
think it's done, like I go, I go, I talk to hr and she's like

(44:12):
hey, what's going on?
I explained to her.
I was like dude, grace just gotpissed for something else.
What do I do?
And the other lady that I wastalking about with the fucking
last baby, she's HR too.
That's her job.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
Oh, no shit.
So she knew.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yeah, the other girl that got pissed off was not HR.
She was accounting or something.
But she, I don't know listenedto the Dixie Chicks on the way
to work and she was feeling,fuck men that day and I was in
her path, dude.
Yeah, oh yeah, you were in thepath of the tornado six months
later, dude, they pull me intoan office and talk to me about
why it's wrong and all this shit, and it's like I know I wrote

(44:48):
the book on why this is wrong.
I wrote the book on wrong shitshe's asking me about the other
guys and it feels like I'm inthat weird like prison situation
where it's like if you tell mewhat they said, I might loosen
your I'll take it easy on you.
I didn't snitch on them at all.
I didn't say a fucking wordbecause it's like you know what.

(45:10):
Go fuck yourself.
Yeah, and this is a girl, it'sjust, it's so.
Yeah, long story, short dude.
We fucking died.
Like anytime I bring that upwith Jay it's yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
Oh god, no.
Was the HR lady pissed that youwere talking about her?
That's the best part.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
I went to her still not knowing if I had said it
that's how good of a friend Iwas.
I still didn't know.
I know I said shit and theysaid it, but I don't think I
said that, but I don't think Isaid the dumb trick that's so
specific.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
But I didn't want to snitch right.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
Right Snitches, get stitches.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
So I go to her and I explain to her.
Dude, this is well before thatsix-month meeting.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
Well, before Like probably day after Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
I'm like, hey, this is what happened, you know she's
like honestly.
I was like what the no way.
Like awesome, we did the fistbump, everything's fine, right,
she's cool, I don't think she'sgonna come back, she's not.
Yep, get pulled into an officesix months later, dude, by, like
the one I went to before.
Oh fuck, yeah, didn't get fired, though, but why it's not?

(46:16):
Ah, such a weird situation,yeah, but like just so fucking
funny the same place.
Do you have another one?
I do, okay, hit it so this is oh, wait, wait, uh, what the fuck
moral of the story folks Rightout there, be careful with jokes
at work, especially when Karencan hear you.
I have learned that PC ladies,especially Karens, they have

(46:43):
incredible fucking hearing.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
They've got mics everywhere, dude.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
And the silver lining to this all Is, if you're going
to meet with somebody aboutsales or marketing, you don't
always need comedy.
I learned it that day.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
It helps.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
PC lady allergic to fucking sarcasm, coming at you
with a fucking like dude.
She's been in her room alone.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
Dude, she had to hate you.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
Oh dude, the last pussy that got touched in her
house was the cat.
For sure, 100%.
She has four of them, 100%.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Oh shit, yeah, oh shit.
So we are in the UAE, okay, andso we're in Dubai this time,
Okay, so there's.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
It's a really rich people.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
It is.
That's a beautiful place, butwe're on an island.
It's called the Gold Soak.
That's literally what they callit.
Okay, it's an island in themiddle of Dubai that you can can
go over, you can get across iton a bridge or whatever, but we
took a boat from one side of thelittle river there that they've

(48:00):
got to the other, obviously tothe island.
So we're walking around and atthat time I was looking for a
watch and I really wanted a ferrFerrari watch, because they
have Ferrari World over in.
Oh, that's cool, of course.
So we're walking through andthis guy like you can walk

(48:23):
through and they're just like ontop of you trying to sell you
whatever, trying to sell youthis, trying to sell you that.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
So it's like the stripper cards in Vegas.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
Yes, absolutely yeah, they're on.
So we're walking through.
And he's like, oh, can I helpyou find something, or whatever.
And the guy I'm with says, yeah, he's looking for a Ferrari
watch.
He's like, oh, follow me.
So we start walking, we startfollowing him.
Right, we're going throughalleys.
We're going through alleys.
We're going through shit likethat.
There's fucking guys, homelessguys sleeping on the side of the

(48:53):
road and they're in the alleyand shit like that.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
It's just weird and that guy's t-shirt.
Right, my friend steve, theygot fired.
Were they wearing a shirt?
They?

Speaker 1 (49:03):
weren't, they weren't , but so so we get into this
little.
So we're looking for a watch,right, that's what I'm looking
for.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
And we walk into this place that has a like they have
linens and shit and bags.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
I'm like what the fuck?

Speaker 1 (49:24):
And he's like oh no, no, no, come in, come in, come
in.
And so we're standing there andthere's another guy that's in
the store already and he startsto try to talk to us, and
obviously we don't speak thelanguage, so he can't
communicate.
So all of a sudden, out of thecorner of my eye, there's a
little, you know, like the dropceiling, squares the tiles.

(49:45):
Yeah, the motherfucker startscoming down from the ceiling.
This is no shit, it's a fuckingelevator.
It's the size of a fuckingsquare of a drop ceiling.
Okay, it's probably three bythree.
Yeah, it's coming down out ofthe ceiling, Gets to the bottom.
All three of us so the guy I'mwith me and this guy that's

(50:06):
showing us we all get on thisfucking elevator.
It's a three by three fuckingsquare.
I'm not a small guy.
This guy's small.
The guy I'm with is a littlesmaller than me.
We get in there and we're allscrunched up and we go right up
through the ceiling, dude it waslike Raiders of the Lost Ark.

(50:27):
So we get up there and there's abunch of bags and stuff that
are all over their shelves andstuff like that.
They're all over A wholedifferent world A whole
different world and we're likeI'm still looking around,
there's no fucking watches to befound, right.
So we go over and there's likemirrors on the corners of the
room and stuff like that.
He starts pulling mirrors offthe wall and we're like holy

(50:49):
shit, we're going to have towalk through the fucking wall.
We're like this is freaked out.
We're like what the fuck isgoing on?
Well, he pulls these mirrorsoff the corners and he pulls out
these briefcases right, pullsthem out and he opens them up
and it's full of watches Wow,full of them.
Like there's all kinds of them.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
There's like there's all kinds of there's foresters.
Were they real or fake?
I don't know.
I would imagine tile that youwrote up.
No dude okay.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
So first of all, we're in a fucking like.
They don't make things likethat.
Yeah, so that I think there'ssome sketchy shit going on.
Oh, I can't say so he proceedsto open these briefcases up.
He's got all these fuckingwatches and I'm like this is

(51:37):
fucking weird this and he's liketrying to sell me this train.
I'm like I'm looking for aferrari watch.
That's what I want.
I want a ferrari watch.
He doesn't fucking have any.
So he opens up this other, hegoes in another little corner
and he pulls off that briefcaseand finally he's got one.
Right it's you can definitelytell it's like it's not legit at
all.
Yeah, I'm like this and he'strying to.

(52:01):
He's trying to sell it.

Speaker 3 (52:02):
And at that point.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
it was probably I don't know 50 bucks.
He was trying to get me to buyit for I don't know how much.
I think I got him down to like10 bucks.
He was trying to get me to buyit for I don't know how much.
I think I got him down to like$10.
I bought it, but it was just.
I mean you can definitely tellit's not anywhere.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
Do you still have it?

Speaker 1 (52:17):
I think so somewhere.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
How old is the guy?

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Oh dude, I don't know .
I have no idea how old he is hewas probably in his mid.
I would guess he was probablyin his mid.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
She like went into the ceiling of a bodega and like
found this watch.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
Yeah Well, the guy I'm with you know he thinks
we're going to get fuckingmurdered.
You know he's in it for theadventure he's that guy.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
He's like let's do this.
Fuck yeah, let's do this.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
We're going up.
Our E True Hollywood story iscalled when you Lie and Die in
Dubai.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
But I mean, the thing was, it was like we walked into
this fucking place.
There's not a fucking watch tobe found, it's a fucking.
They've got like cloth and shitand you're not anywhere near
home.
No, no, we're not.
I mean, we're out on thefucking.
So this island right, there'sgold everywhere.
Can you imagine if you werethree girls?

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Oh, it would never happen.
I'm not being weird, but I'msaying like that would be a
crazy situation.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
I don't think that you could yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
Girls shouldn't do that and we probably shouldn't
have been in that situationeither, but we're in it for the
adventure.
You know, we're in fuckingDubai.
We're halfway across the world,we're going to dubai.

Speaker 2 (53:33):
We're across, we're halfway across the world.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
We're gonna do it.
We're gonna win it.
You know, yeah, we're gonna try, and I got a great story.
We got it from the road, thefucking the, the tile, the tile,
elevator.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
You know we're gonna be sliding we're gonna try,
we're gonna ride the elevatorreal high and we're gonna die in
dubai yeah they used to.
I used to go like to new yorkevery now and then when I was a
kid, and they had that too withfake oakley's and fake rolexes
and tag humor watches.
Oh, yeah, so they'd follow youaround and it was funny because

(54:01):
they'd have trench coats.
They'd open those bitches up.
Yeah, and there's just likeevery frame of oakley you can
think of like the sport framesthe wire, frames the whatever,
yep, and then every fuckingrolex you can think of.
Yeah, and they just walk aroundlike, like.
But you could do it.
It started at 40 bucks.
You would get them down to likesix dollars yeah I bought all

(54:25):
of them.
I bought so many.
I loved it.
I loved hunting down the fakeoakley guy.
Yeah, that was fun as shit forme.
So I was a kid.
Yeah, you wear like SpongeBobsunglasses.
You don't wear real shit.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
Right.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
So when you can like look official and have real shit
.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Yeah, Way better.
No, it was cool.
I mean it was cool because ofthe.
I mean we're in the middle ofnowhere, there's nobody around,
we have no idea if we're goingto our death.
It was cool.
We're in it for the adventure.
So that's my, it was wild, itwas really wild.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
I got work stories for days.
Yeah, like just a spoiler, I'mnot going to tell it.
But my buddy Jay, he put achirping cricket in my office
that I couldn't find those suckdude.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Yes, yeah, those suck .

Speaker 2 (55:17):
Hilarious Fan-fucking-tastic Right.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
I'll tell that one a different day, all right, all
right, so I think we should dothe top five.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
Reasons for getting pulled into HR that don't
include a dump truck booty.
All, all right you want me togo first?
Yeah, you go first.
Okay, did you go one to fivelast episode or five to one?

Speaker 1 (55:42):
I, I didn't put them in any particular order, okay
number one.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
I altered my friend's email signature to include the
term MILF.
I changed her work logo to apicture of her naked oh my God
From her OnlyFans.
She forgot and sent an email tothe board of directors.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
Oh shit Wow.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
Perfect story.
Whoever got that email was likeno fucking way, You're not
doing it.
I told you they were perky.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
I told you, bitch, I told you you had a dump truck
butt.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
The dump truck butt Number two.
All right, I sent my Alexa tomoan every time someone asked to
turn the lights on or off.
They apparently aren't a bigfan of automation.
Can you imagine that, if you'relike Alexa, dim lights?
It's like ah, yes, oh shit,Alexa, turn the lights on.

(56:46):
Oh man, that's fucking awesome.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, Dude, I goodold time.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Dude, I would laugh so hard atthat Number three, I made an
inappropriate banana and twoeggs sculpture doing the company
potluck.
That would be me.
That would be me all day.

(57:07):
Oh yeah, jay's laughing,justin's laughing.
Watch this.
You know like he's being stupidyeah, yeah, I can definitely
see that um, I sent a spec, aspicy text.
Oh fuck, number four, numberfour.
I sent a spicy text to my wifeand realized it was a group chat

(57:28):
that my boss was involved in.
Hey honey, I heard you ordereda sausage pizza.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
You know?

Speaker 2 (57:38):
Yeah, I was done.
I mass texted a picture of mycock to everyone in.
This is number one, shit, shit,number one, shit, shit, number
one.
I mass texted a picture of mydick to everyone in my phone.
I mean, I'm a fucking numbersguy.

(57:59):
The more texts, the morepossibilities.
Ask HR if they understand hownumbers work.
Oh shit, hey, greg, get my cockphoto.
Dude, did you like my cockphone out?
Dude, did you like my cock onthe shelf for?

Speaker 1 (58:16):
Christmas.
What were you marketing for tictacs?

Speaker 2 (58:22):
fake Ferrari watches.
Dude, if you have the cock inthere, it looks so real oh shit,
oh.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
I worked with a guy that wanted to date a midget
because it would make his junklook huge.
Good idea.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Wow, never thought of that.
I'm surprised it's not a bigthing in China.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
I think it just looks normal there.
Yeah, true, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (58:50):
So we would be huge over there.
That's cool.

Speaker 3 (58:54):
Right.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
Right, though I mean I guess that's awesome.
All right, so my top five.
So all of mine are out ofoffice replies.
So when somebody sends you anemail you're out of the office,

(59:18):
the reply that gets sent back.
Okay, Okay.
So the out-of-office replywould say Number one Number one
Went fishing for a new job.
Wish me luck.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
We'll return one day.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
Number two the out-of-office reply would say I
joined the circus, but don'tworry, I'm still juggling all
your problems.

Speaker 2 (59:45):
Dude, if I got that, I would fucking die.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Number three, number three, okay, number three.
Out of office reply would saybinge watching Netflix and
sipping margaritas you will beignored until I run out of
episodes or tequila.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
One of the two, one of the two, and so just a table
full of half-carats.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Give a picture.
Yeah, oh my God, at number five.
Wait, that was on three, One,two, three.
Oh, this is number four, ohshit.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
I'm missing one Number four.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
I'm going to have to come up with one on the fly.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
My out-of-office reply would say I've been
whacking off for the past coupledays.
When I come out of here, I'mgoing to look like Popeye the
Sailor, but I will be back.
That's you, tom.
I like that one.
Oh, my god, your right armlooks a little puffy.
Yeah, I've been at home so mynumber five.

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
then the out-of-office reply would say
I'm out of the office and so ismy patients.
Your email will be deletedautomatically.

Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
Dude what if it said you have a virus.
Oh, you have received a virus.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
That would be sinister.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
You have received proof that global warming is
real.
Please throw your computer outyour office window.
If you don't want to see what,or if you don't want me to tell
everybody your secret, justleave it there.
You would see pcs go flyingthrough windows dude yeah did

(01:01:28):
you have any more um, if you putlike an edible bottle of lube
in the fridge and labeled itvegan salad dressing, use the
office printer to print out myfavorite OnlyFans picture.
I mean, fuck my internet's downat my house.

(01:01:49):
I need to have materials andthis is MapQuest.
Right, I don't have Google Maps, I have this shit.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
I've got to go home and watch the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
Yeah, yeah, a couple times.
I'm going to go watch Milfs onthe Cowboys Network Mom, no, mom
, wow, wow.
And then I have funny thingsyou can find in the fridge, like
a co-worker's sex doll.
Oh, like being ready for it atnight all jazzed up Like what if
it was Valentine's?

Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Day hey find her in the dishwasher.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
Yeah, a banana with a suggestive bite pattern and a
lipstick stain.
It would be the mystery behindthe banana.
Oh yeah, I'd be on that fordays.
Me and Jay would have been onthat for weeks.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
Like whose banana?

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
is it Weeks buddy?
Yeah, an American pie dude,like the one that Jim fucked,
with no explanation, just likeit looks like someone came by
and fucked it or punched it andno one explained it.
Why no one ate it.
I would look through everycamera.
I would find out who fucked apie.
I would need to know.

(01:02:53):
It's probably that lady thatfucking got mad for her friend.
That wasn't mad, you know ohshit.
And then I had reasons for beinglate.
Like my vibrator died midsession, I had to wait for it to
charge.
I super glued myself to myself.
God damn it, my lube bottlelooks like a gorilla glue.
Um oh shit, I couldn't find thehandcuff keys and we only had

(01:03:20):
one fucking set.
What was I supposed to do?
I had to delete my browserhistory because my wife's coming
back from her trip and I had tomake sure I got it done.
The McRib is back, so I rushedthere, only to find out that
lunch starts at 10.30.
So obviously I waited, and nowI'm here at 10.45.

(01:03:40):
What's?

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
the big fucking deal.
Right, had to wait.
Had to wait for the McRib.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
Yeah, the McRizzle, that's about it.
Awesome.
So vegan salad.
So sex styles and vegan sounds,so yeah if you want to play a
prank on your coworkers, justleave a very like dude the
banana.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
If somebody put a banana in the office
refrigerator With lipstick on it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
With lipstick on it Like you're a deep throat in it,
but like perfect, like whereit's hot and a mystery, yeah,
it's over.
Yeah, like, or dude put, I mean, if you're bold, right, we live
in the camera era.

Speaker 3 (01:04:20):
So you can't ding dong ditch, you can't do any lit
shit.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
it's not a thing.
Yeah, you know where they don'tput a camera on the fucking
fridge at work.
Right, that's true.
Throw a pocket pussy in therewith a weird message Like I will
never have your bullshit again,write that on there and leave
it in there.
Can you imagine I would lose it?
Yeah, I'd have so much fun withthat.

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
Oh shit, yeah, you could get away with some really
bad shit.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
Really bad shit or just be.
You know, have a pattern.
Like you know.
You have a buddy at work thatyou fuck off with.
That you know like will handleit like dude.
Leave a sticky note on his deskthat every day says I know what
you did.
That's the only thing it says,but never let him catch you
dropping it.
Yeah, and leave it likerandomly like every Thursday.

(01:05:13):
Every Thursday I come back tomy desk and say I know what you
did and it's like I don't knowwhat I did.
It's like when she busted inthat room, I didn't know why she
was mad, I just knew that youknow.
I don't know she got sick ofwatching her fucking cat get
petted and her pussy nut getpetted like I don't know what
happened.
I hate her.
I don't know what happened.

(01:05:33):
I hate her.
I can't stand her.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
Yeah, I'm sure she feels the same way.

Speaker 2 (01:05:38):
I'm sure it's reciprocal, yeah, but like her
reasons are dumb, like I'm sorrythat your vagina doesn't get
used and you hate the world.
Like I'm so sorry about that,but like it's not my fault, bud,
it's not my fault, I'm the newguy.
Yeah, were you mad because Ididn't say you had a dump truck
for a year.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
Is that what this is Could be?
Oh man, Well, hey, man, thatwraps it up.
I think we're all set.
I think we covered everything.
If you have any comments, anythings you want to hear, any
kind of top five of your own.

Speaker 2 (01:06:16):
If you just want to shout the word titties at us,
we're fine with it.
We're fine with titties,titties, titties, whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
Yeah yeah, we're good with all that, so drop us a
comment, subscribe, do all thosekinds of things.
We have an email, a Gmail.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
I think we only get advertisers advertisers looking
to like, like, sell us likethey're.
Like you have 40 lessons.
You do you want 40 lessons,like that's, where 50 listens.
All right, we're small time.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
Do you want seven subscribers?

Speaker 2 (01:06:44):
yeah, we're bigger than.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
That is rowdandloudy at gmailcom.

Speaker (01:06:50):
R-O-W-D-A-N-D-L-O-U-D-Y at gmailcom.
Dude, I shouldn't sing.
That should be a rule.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
Yeah, you can.

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
We got to have consequences for things that you
do wrong, Like if I sing orsomething it's like.

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
Oh yeah, oh, dude, that reminds me.
So episode 10, I, I'm gonnadrop this right here.
Episode 10 we're gonna dosubject bingo.
That was a.
That was a comment that we hadone of our, uh, one of our
listeners.
He wanted to have like random.
So we just we throw a commentor we throw a subject into a hat

(01:07:31):
or whatever and we pick it outand we gotta tell a story.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
It's time to celebrate, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
That'll be episode 10 .
We got a couple more episodesand we'll be there.

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
Oh dude, we're gonna get all up in it, you know.
Oh yeah, we're in it to win it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:51):
Alright, everybody, you have a good day, good night.

Speaker 2 (01:07:55):
Or try yeah, don't be a dick about it.
Yeah, don't be a dick.

Speaker 3 (01:07:59):
Oh my God, I didn't mean to mess you up, that was me
, that's all right.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
That was me, that's all right.
I won't let it happen again.
Yeah, you will.

Speaker 1 (01:08:12):
I know I will.
I mean to All right, everybody,you all take care.
Hope you enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
And yeah, leave us a comment, subscribe, throw us an
email, all those kinds of thingsWe'd love to hear from you, or
a picture of a dump truck, yourchoice.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
Or some titties, titties.
All right.
All right, everybody.
That's all I got you.
Bye peace.